Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Link’s New Dog | Ear Biscuits Ep.288

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

He’s a peanut butter long-legged Jade! Link introduces the newest member of his family in this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link.

And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are getting to know the latest addition to the Neal household, Jasper. A dog. I got another freaking dog, y'all. So we got Jade. He's here. We got Sok we got Jade. He's here.

We got Sock of the Cat. He's here, he's hiding under the table. He's hiding in the wings and he's gonna show himself. The wings are your lap, yes. I can see him right now. Yeah, look, I mean he's- Very Jade-like that he's just in your lap, but no complaint.

Remember that, because that's a big factor in this. But yeah, so we got three animals in the Neal house now that we got Sokka the cat and Jasper the dog. And I wanted to introduce all of you loyal Ear Biscuiteers to the new wildlife in the family. But why is, you see my phone is like, it's responding like Siri is listening. Constantly.

What is, what if we just stop talking? Will it stop listening? I don't like the feeling of being constantly listened to while having a conversation. But what, won't it eventually realize that we're not talking to it? You mean her? No, it's it.

Okay. I don't give that kind of personhood to Siri. Well, I think you might need to hit the thing because even that glowing orb that indicates that it's constantly listening is gonna run down your battery. I mean, that thing's a battery suck. Oh, look, she just took all that information in

and just said, one sec. Oh, so the entire intro to Ear Biscuits, let's see how she responds. She's still working. You're saying she now. Oh, so the entire intro to Ear Biscuits, let's see how she responds. She's still working. You're saying she now. Okay, it's still working. What's gonna happen? Well, I don't even know what she's working on.

What are you working on? What do you mean you're working on that? I mean, we gave it a lot. But, but. I mean, I got. Yeah, something went wrong, that's right, Siri. Let's try, let's not try again. Let's just keep going.

How about that? So yeah, I'm gonna tell you all the, all the introductory struggles and experiences associated with adding a third animal and a second dog into the Neal household as we are slowly creeping out of quarantine. You know us. Averse to change, slowly getting out of their lives.

You're not averse to new animals though. No, we're not. Which is, we will discuss the irony in that. I did not know it was gonna happen, but it makes total sense in retrospect. But I wanted to start out just giving you an update. And I've got another experience that I had on some recent travels,

and I just didn't know if I was going crazy. So I kind of need you to tell me that I'm good. Well, I'm not gonna judge whether or not you're crazy based on one experience. Well, you can add it to the annals. Yeah, I take the whole of everything that I know about you. I said annals and you said whole, okay, that's fine. Let's get into it.

Anno-hole is not anything. Anno-hole is just a hole where you keep records. Oh, okay, well, let's dig deep and see what we conclude. So- Everybody should have one in their basement. We took a family trip to visit a campus. Campus was entirely closed, but there's a lot we could walk around outside because Lily was accepted to this place.

I'm not gonna say the place because I don't wanna talk about the place. That's not what this is about. But it's Harvard. That's not what this is about, but yeah, it's definitely Harvard and Yale at the same time. Right, she's going to both of them. She's doing a double major between Harvard and Yale. There's a tunnel that connects them.

Majoring in both places. And we wanted to see what this tunnel was about. Right. You know, this Harvard-Yale tunnel. Right, yeah. The most elite of college experiences, the Harvard-Yale double major. So we went to college and, you know,

just to kind of really give a sense of, hey, this is happening, you've been accepted here, you're most likely gonna go here, let's wrap our minds around the fact that you are going to college and we all need to kind of give it the program. Who was this trip for? Well- What percentage of like-

It was mostly for Lily, but yeah, I think it's definitely for- That's what I'm asking. For me and Christy, it was like still coming to grips and starting to prepare emotionally. And you know, I think Lily's anxious. It's a huge life change. The biggest one she's ever experienced maybe.

Besides being born, man. And for Lincoln, I wanted him to be there to be like, okay, I'm just, this coming year, his junior year, he's gonna start to be- He's gotta start thinking about this. Gotta start thinking about it and gear up for it. And I mean, we weren't gonna leave Lando home alone. Did you see any evidence that Lincoln

was beginning to think about it? No. It's not the type of thing you see. Like I can't look at his face and tell that like, any wheels are turning. What did he say though? You know, Ben, it reminds me, Ben told me the other day, you know, Ben's on camera again for Good Mythical Morning.

So he's like one of the closest people to us, almost as close as we are to each other on set and like in between takes or something, he was like, "'Are you angry? You look angry.' He kind of leaned in. I was like, no, I'm just thinking. Yeah, right. When I think I just look angry.

Like if I'm really like thinking. I think actually both of us have a tendency to look angry while thinking, so. We've got thinking angry face. Yeah, like I've noticed, one of the things I've noticed this year and being in so many Zoom calls is that our resting Zoom call face,

both of us look a little bit judgy. Uh-huh. Like we both, and I would say even Stevie as well. So like when you've got me and you and Stevie. That means we're engaged. Who are like really engaged with you, because we had some people like pitching us some things. Yeah, they're doing all the talking.

And I think about how I feel when I'm on the other end of that pitch process, right? Yeah. And I know that there are people who have a very warm sort of resting smiley face and acceptance face, you know, accepting face. And I love talking to those people, but I am very well aware that I am not one of those people.

You're not one of those people. And Stevie's also not one of those people. And when you're on Zoom, you can see everybody's face. I mean, it's not like being in a room where you're like, you could see everybody at once and you can be drawn to the person who looks the angriest. I had to remind myself in, you know. It helps to be able to see yourself.

I go like, I just- A little smirk. Well, Mallory does a good job. She's great. Mallory's our head of development. Yeah, I can see her. Like if I'm looking at a person talking, I can look over there and see anybody else.

She's got a good listening face. She nods and she smiles, she's being supportive. But you might look at us and think these guys are just having the worst day of their lives. We're not making it easy, but we're not doing it on purpose. So, and this is a nice teaser for what we're gonna talk about in the next episode of Ear Biscuits, because we're talking about being on the receiving end of that.

Rejection. Us trying to develop ideas and we've decided to kind of, so next week we're gonna give you this, I didn't mean to make this a teaser right now, but we're gonna give you a download of all of these ideas and projects in the traditional realm. For years, we've been adding to a list of projects that we've been trying to get off the ground.

All the things people have said no to. All that we'd never talk about. So we're gonna share all of those projects with you. So if you're not into dogs or colleges or anything like that, then next week is gonna be just about all the projects that have been squashed along with our hearts, question mark. Might make it a two-parter.

I don't know, there's a lot to unpack there, but we'll start with just all the ideas we've had. Yeah, I've done some digging there. I wanna see what you remember. But anyway, back to the story. So we take a road trip and we got an Airbnb because we were gonna stay there the night, get up the next day, spend basically all day walking around

what's basically a deserted campus, but still a very cool campus. And I will go ahead and tell you, it was a great experience. I think Lily was confirmed, more confirmed in her decision to go there. So I'd say she's at like almost 90% now. She's on a couple of waiting lists. And so getting those answers and making those decisions

will like make it official, but it was totally worthwhile. But I wanna talk about this Airbnb. I'm not gonna talk about the college stuff at all because then we stayed there the next night and then drove back the next day. So we stayed there two nights. Now, this is a nice Airbnb. It had four bedrooms.

And so everybody, every kid got their own room. They were excited about that. But I knew reading the description and the reviews that this was a house that it was a permanent residence of the family that lived there, a couple and their two sons. And so the Airbnb it if they like go out of town or something.

Well, apparently. No, I think they're, I actually think, well, town or something. Well, apparently. No, I- I think they're, I actually think, well, I don't- I have relatives who have done that. Okay. Who Airbnb their house when they go on vacation. Why not? You know, you make a little scratch.

I mean, I've stayed at a lot of Airbnbs, so I have a lot to compare it to, but I didn't think anything of the fact that this was a permanent residence until we get there. And there's, I mean, it's not like they're everywhere, but there are pictures of the family. And there are- Personal effects. There's a couple of like grandparent pictures.

And then like in the pantry, there's like a clean shelf. And then above it, there's like a shelf full of stuff that says, do not eat, do not touch. And there was some cereal there and boy, I had a difficult time. I was very tempted. I should put that in a cage. They did let us use their coffee.

But still, I wasn't thinking too much about it. You know, that night after we watch Survivor, no matter where we are on the planet, if the sun's gone down, the Neils have to watch Survivor. I'm tucking Lando into bed and Christy comes in there and we're like tucking him into bed and it's a bunk bedroom and apparently these boys, it's the boys' room that they share.

And Lando just looks concerned. And so I'm like, buddy, what's going on? He was like, well, people live here. This is somebody's room. I feel kind of weird about it. And then he said, I feel like Elias is here with me. And I'm like, you know this boy's name? This is like the beginning of a horror movie.

I know, I was like, please tell me he is not visible to you and speaking to you right now. How did he get his name? There's like on the front door, it's like Elias and whatever his brother's name is, Room, it like says it. And then it's like got all of their books and toys and all this stuff. But why did he feel like only Elias was there?

Why did Elias and Toby? It's creepier that only Elias is there. I know, he just had- And his name is Elias, which is a perfect horror movie name. And when he said that, Elias is here with me. I kinda looked at Christy and I was like, I knew my mission was to just blow it off,

but I couldn't help but acknowledge within my own self that when he said that, it kind of creeped me out. So I'm like, listen, everywhere we've stayed, people have stayed there. Like a typical Airbnb, like a hotel, I mean, every day there's somebody new staying there. Every week there's somebody new staying there. Yeah, you're sleeping in Elias's bed.

That's the difference. but Elias's spirit is much more present in the place where he lives. You're feeling Lando's vibes. First of all, that whole track that I was on didn't help because it was like, oh my gosh, you mean all the other places I've been, there's been like hundreds and thousands of people that have slept there,

and he didn't know what to be more disturbed about. And as I was saying it, come to think of it, neither did I. You haven't thought about this? As much as you enjoy Airbnbs? I don't like to think about, you know, people talk about the black light of it all, especially at hotels, but I have a higher trust in Airbnbs. It's a different type of travel.

That's your mistake because- I don't wanna hear it. The nanny cams. I mean, there's hidden cameras in all Airbnb's. Well. No, okay, for legal reasons, I can't say that. There has to be hidden cameras. That can't be legal.

And of course it's not legal. It's highly illegal and you can get to a lot of trouble for it. But I'm just saying that people are nuts, man. Do you think about that when you stay at an Airbnb? Yeah, I go into- You look for cameras? I assume that I'm about that when you stay at an Airbnb? Yeah, I go into- You look for cameras? I assume that I'm being recorded when I'm in an Airbnb.

Teddy bears where one eyeball is a lot darker than the other one? It's never that obvious. I just assume I'm being recorded. Are you telling me you found a camera? You've never found a camera. No, I just assume I'm being recorded and I act like I'm on a reality show.

So sometimes there's a little, I get a little bit angry about something, but it's just for the camera. Okay, as long as there's a resolution at the end of the 22 minutes. Right, and especially during certain activities, I really think about the cameras. Oh God.

You gotta get the angles right. So I didn't know what to say to help him feel better. So I just was like, hey, it's no big deal. And he's in it and like his last words as I was leaving the room were, I feel like Elias is sleeping with me. And I was like, don't put it like that. But he was also- And so he was-

But he was kind of messing with you a little bit. He thought it was funny, right? He wasn't really scared. No, this was coming from a place of this is what he's thinking. But based on me and Christy's reactions, he did kind of cool off a little bit. He did sleep in the bed and he ended up being fine.

But I went downstairs and I ended up watching some stuff with Christy and then she goes to bed and I'm the only one downstairs. All of our bedrooms are upstairs. And then I'm turning off the lights and getting ready to head upstairs. I go to the front door and I lock it. And then to the right of the front door,

as I'm walking back, there's another door that's closed. Owner's, owner's closet. Well, and then I realize this is not a closet. This is the door to their garage. We couldn't park in the garage. We had to walk around it to the front door, but there's a door right there. And with all the lights off,

I noticed something I hadn't seen before. There was light spilling out from the bottom and a little bit of the sides, up the sides of this door. That means there's a light on on the other side of the door. Exactly. There's a light on in this garage.

Okay. And I stood there and I realized I was kind of getting freaked out. Now you've seen Parasite. Yeah. I started to think that the family was in the garage because I've been wondering, I knew the family was still in town

because I was in contact with the wife. You think Elias and his mom and dad and his little brother Toby or whatever his name is, go into the garage and then let a family of five stay in their house? Yeah, and I think that they're all- This seems implausible. I was just standing there in the dark

with the light spilling around the edge of the door, staring at the doorknob and thinking, Elias and his family are huddled in that garage, just trying to make some extra scratch. I get that. And it's waiting for us to leave and they're listening to all of our conversations. I mean, it's like the webcam thing- Did you open the thing, but worse.

And then I make up my mind and I slowly. Should open it quickly. Reach for the knob. I grab the knob and I turn it. It's locked. Yeah, because they're in there. They've locked themselves in there. Yeah, they're in there huddled in a circle. And I jostled it's locked. Yeah, because they're in there. They've locked themselves in there. Yeah, they're in there huddled in a circle.

And I jostled it a few more times and then I just like stood back and I was like, oh, now they know I'm onto them. And I just went upstairs and went to bed. End of story, but- They're in there pooping in buckets. I know, it's like- It's sad actually.

Do they have another, it's a permanent resident. Do they have another house in town? I know they were still in town because I know they came back when we left because I got a message after checkout pretty quickly from her. And I'm pretty sure it was her. They probably have another family

that they can go and stay with because the town that they're in is a with because, you know, the town that they're in is a town that people would want to visit. Or they could be in the garage. They're not in the garage. I can safely say that, but you were being filmed for sure. Well, the laugh's on them because now I'm exploiting it

for a podcast. But other than the, I mean, assuming, let's just assume that they're not in the garage and they just left the light on in the garage, which is probably the more likely thing. Do you feel differently about staying in, is there, are there other differences but staying in somebody's house

that is a designated Airbnb where it's not a permanent residence? Once Lando got in my head, man, I am definitely team not permanent residence Airbnb. I definitely think that's right because you kind of want to make a space your own, but I would say that maybe every 10th time you stay in an Airbnb,

you should stay in one that's a permanent residence because to me, a lot of, you know me, I think a lot about the apocalypse and I think about what it's gonna be like to just go into people's homes after the world is ended. Oh yeah, you're into this. And like, just assume their life. You're like rustling through their books.

I mean, in the bedroom, are you looking through their drawers? Like, Christy and I slept in their bed. Yeah, but again, like you said earlier, in a hotel bed, you're sleeping in a bed. It's better. You're sleeping in a bed that so many other people have slept in. So many people, and people do things.

I've never thought about this stuff. This is Lando's fault. People do things in hotel beds that they won't do in their own beds. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, they're like, well, this is a hotel bed. From personal experience. We don't have to worry about breaking this bed. What have you done?

I can't tell, I mean, you have to watch some of the tapes that people have made of me. That are somewhere on some website. The Airbnb files, it's called analhole.com. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. I mean, I just, so I mean, I definitely felt like I was under more scrutiny to take good care of their house,

but Christy had an opposite effect. When we were leaving- She was gonna miss it. She went to a local plant shop and she bought a plant and gave it and left it with a note. Cause you know that there's somebody who's gonna experience it and appreciate it. Well she felt like she had gotten to know them. Yeah, right, yeah.

It's not just people passing through. It's people that, this is their space. I mean, she was wearing the wife's underwear. She like went through her drawer and she was like, oh, should I get something like this? So they didn't have any locks on their drawers. Underwear drawers? Nope.

Now, because I recently stayed in an Airbnb and there was one, there were two doors, one closet that was locked. Yeah, there doors, one closet that was locked. Yeah, there's always the closet that's locked. And then a weird handle-less, hingeless door in the bathroom, actually in the bathroom in the toilet closet. Like they had one of those bathrooms

that just has a little toilet room. Oh wow, another room from in there. And then there was a little room in there and it said it had, they had done a lot of labeling. Yep. Owner's private closet. And they were in there, dude. I think it might've seen owner's closet private.

Was there light emitting from the cracks? No, the family wasn't in there. They were squatting in there. But I will say- They came out once you went to sleep. I could not get into it, despite trying. And it wasn't because I wanted to get in and get into the owner's private closet.

Yeah. It was that there wasn't a handle. And I was like, well, how do they get into this closet? Like, do I push on it? Do I pull on it? Do you need a crowbar? I didn't do any damage to it, but while taking- You got frustrated and just kicked it in.

While doing a BM, which I was probably on the pot for seven to eight minutes, which I know is more than you'd really need, but I spent a lot of time trying to, while my pants were completely around my ankles, try to get into this private closet. It was a short closet? Oh yeah. I would have had to squat-

They were really hunkered down. But I was already squatting. So if I had gotten it open, I would have just to squat. They were really hunkered down. But I was already squatting. So if I had gotten it open, I would have just rolled off the toilet, right? Right into the closet. I mean, my biggest critique, besides all of the critiques directed toward Lando, who basically ruined my trip,

there was a squeegee in the shower. Now, much respect, we don't have that. But you're gonna get one now. I've certainly thought about it. But to leave a squeegee out for your guests to use is a bit much, that's a bit heavy handed. Because here I am squeegeeing somebody else's shower. So you took the bait? The glass door.

Well, yeah, it was there. I felt like I had to do the squeegee, you know? It's like I was- Was it hanging on something or was it sitting in the shower? It was propped up on the floor of the shower against the door. Yeah, that's offensive.

Yeah, they should have taken the squeegee. You should have broken something. Two days and not squeegee. You should have broken a lamp. He kind of sent the wrong message. The best thing to do- You're being watched from the garage. If you ever wanna take revenge on somebody in an Airbnb,

I mean, first of all, just for legal purposes, this is for entertainment purposes only. Right. This is a fun thing to do. You take a lamp, don't get a nice lamp, get a lamp that looks like it was maybe, just like a Bed Bath & Beyond purchase, you know what I'm saying?

And crack it. Crack it. Crack it with something. Break it. Break it, but break it so that it still stays together. Okay. And if it comes apart, put it back together in a way that it's sort of standing.

And then everything looks awesome, and then when they get home and they reach to turn on the lamp, the whole thing falls apart and they think they did it. Yeah. So, okay. This is to take revenge. If they do something offensive,

like leave a squeegee out for you to use. It's like, look, you broke your own lamp. Right, yeah. That, spoiler alert, is not your lamp. Oh my gosh, I just broke this lamp that they left for us as a gift. No, you're not understanding what I'm saying. Nope.

You break an existing lamp of theirs in revenge, but you make them think that they did it. But I bought the lamp. No, no, no. You make sure that you pick a lamp that doesn't look like it's too expensive. That's why I said Bed Bath & Beyond. Oh, I thought you said buy it from Bed Bath & Beyond.

You need to be able to look at lamps and decipher their values. Create a booby trap. Something I can do. Booby traps, okay, all right, that's cool, that's cool. All right, let me tell you about my dog. But first we wanna tell you about a brand new scripted podcast we're starring in

called Ronstadt. My name is. Hey, Ronstadt. Ronstadt. Ronstadt. I'm the one with the bright blonde hair sticking out in every direction like electrified Link Weenie. Yo, is that your real hair? I walk the dark, hear the danger, see the damned if I know.

I call it my Kradar. My ability to detect and observe all things crazy. Right. Kradar. So, what are you going to do? I became a phone jockey for 911, but I don't answer calls of broken bones and brush fires. I handle the 911 what's-your-freaking. Sir, this is important.

I am becoming the invisible woman. The reason I can't eat vegetables anymore is because when I bite into one, I can hear it say, ouch. Like, ouch! It doesn't. It doesn't even have a face, but it can see me.

It can see me! You ever get the feeling you ordered about 15 too many items off the value menu? You can find Ron's stat now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And make sure to follow so you can be one of the first to listen. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

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Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Jasper, come here. Your dog's running around. Jasper. Sniffing. He got tired of being in my lap. Okay, come here, buddy. I want everybody to meet you.

So this, this is Jasper. Today on Good Mythical Morning, we brought him out. Yeah. And you've met him, you've hung out with him a little bit. He likes to just lay right under my chin. He's so sweet, he's a sweetheart.

Look at him. Well, he's sweet to some people. I've always been jealous of how when you hold Barbara, Barbara will lean her head against your chest. Like that's something Jay doesn't do, but he does it and it feels so good. Like this is so worth it, man. All of the problems and trials that I'm gonna tell you about

are worth it because he's a sweetheart. We got him on February 20th. So we've had him a while. I've been kind of keeping it under wraps because, I mean, we talked about the cat on the show and like by the time we were taught that episode came out, we had already gotten Jasper and I'm like, I don't wanna go that hard with pet episodes.

It's gonna, people are gonna start rolling their eyes. But I had to show him off because- He's going to sleep. He's a little baby. He's like a little baby. Let me see if I can pet him. Hey, bud. Well, he thinks that it's my hand. Nope. He's like a little baby. Let me see if I can pet him. Hey, bud. Well, he thinks that it's my hand.

Nope. Hey, buddy. Yeah. That's good. Don't look so skeptical. Don't look so skeptical. He has his issues. Okay, how did this begin?

I mean, you know when we got Sokka, I was telling you that Christy was like, "'Well, I wanted to get a dog., I didn't want to get a cat. And I'm thinking, well, you know, we're not gonna get a dog now. Of course I was wrong. She had been looking at like adoption pictures and stuff like that.

And my stipulation was, if we can get a dog that looks like Jade, I like, I want another Jade, but in a different color. If you can show me one of those dogs, then I'm listening. But I'm not gonna get, I'm not interested in getting a dog, I'm interested in getting like a sibling to Jade. Okay, now you tell me, since you know what you wanna talk about,

how much time do you wanna spend talking about that particular aspect of this? And have you talked to talk about, how much time do you want to spend talking about that particular aspect of this? And have you talked to your therapist about it? No, I haven't. We can talk about that. Cause I just want to know, I don't have any, I haven't really thought about it. I just, I find it very linkish that that was a stipulation.

And I was just wondering, have you thought about why that's the case? Well, yeah, I'm so attached to Jade. Jade is my dog. Jasper is Christie's dog, first of all. That's what's happened and I'm fine with that. And Jade is the queen and she's the queen of my heart. She's what I think some people call heart dogs.

You have this one dog that just changes how you feel about dogs and pets in general. And so, yeah, I have this like deeply rooted connection and love of Jade that like, I don't want a dog to replace Jade, but I don't, I want, everything I love about Jade, I would insist in being another dog. Like a dog that just lets you hold him or her

like a baby or like a cat. Everything that, yeah, the fact that Jade doesn't do it. I understand all that, but I'm saying specifically from a practical perspective. Wanting it to look the same. Because that's the only thing that I'm talking about. Well, no, because looking the same means a similar breed, which means like acting very similar.

And I mean, as you can see, I mean, he's just laying here on the table. He has a very similar temperament to Jade. And I assume that like, if you get the same breed or a similar breed, you know, breeds are so different. So like with a long hair miniature Datsun mix, you know what your problems are.

Like we've dealt with the, there's a lot of problems with housebreaking and training a Datsun. But you get a lot of good stuff with like the cuddliness and the, you know, just the lay around. They don't have a lot of energy and they'll sleep with you in the bed. So it's like you take the good with the bad,

but it's a known entity. It's a known entity. I misinterpreted it unless you're only giving me half of the reason, because I thought that you wanted the dog to look like Jade, not to, it wasn't necessarily a breathing, it was like, does her face look exactly like Jade's face?

Because that's what you kept saying, that's what you were vocalizing. Yes, that's what I boiled it down to for my criteria. So then Christy showed me the picture of Jasper and I was like, because I'm following all of these miniature Datsuns on Instagram and there's like these that are like peanut butter colored. And like, I was like, that's what I want.

I want a peanut butter colored Jade. And so Christie's mission apparently was to find Jasper. And so she showed me the picture and I'm like, and she's like, we know the foster mom, she's here in town. Lincoln played baseball with her son and like, so we knew her years ago. And so like there was even more of a connection.

We're like, all right, we'll visit this dog, but here's the thing. We can set an appointment for this coming Saturday. We can go there as a family. We can check out Jasper, because it's only one picture. You don't know exactly what they're hiding or what the full story is.

It might just be a dog that's a head. Right, and kids, you gotta be prepared for that. So I said, listen, we're not gonna go and get attached to this dog and then have to adopt it and have this awkward conversation in front of this foster mom. What we're gonna do is we're gonna check out the dog, we're gonna spend some time with it

in this girl's woman's front yard with our masks on, and then we're gonna leave. And then when we get back in the car and get back home, we're gonna each say what we think and we're gonna give our assessment and we're gonna each say what we think and we're gonna give our assessment and we're gonna vote basically to see if we wanna adopt this dog. And you can do that in your family

because you got five people. Votes actually matter. That's right. We have to bring, if our family votes on something, we have to bring Kamala Harris in to actually break the tie. That's cool, man. Yeah, I've got her on speed dog.

That is cool. So we get there and the description of Jasper before we got there was, he's 11 months old, his family, his parents were owned by someone and they wanted to keep him, but then they couldn't afford to get him fixed. So they ended up giving him up for adoption because they couldn't get him fixed.

And he is super lovable, this is the description, and he will want to sleep with you. And we're like, this sounds great. We want him to sleep with us. This is, you know, Jade's been sleeping with Lincoln because she started waking up more often and giving us bad night's sleep. And then with Lincoln's got a bigger bed

and he's not sleeping with a woman. So he can just sleep with the dog. He's got a lot more room. So our bed's empty. So I'm like, but we're gonna do our plan. We're gonna assess the dog, then we're gonna leave. It's funny how he's just laying on the table. Just like he did in Good Mythical More.

Like Jade doesn't do this. If you put Jade on the table, like he likes to. Gotta watch yourself rubbing that belly though. There's a penis. This one's got a wiener. The other one doesn't have a wiener. Oh, and look, he's got a tattoo right there. Look at that.

What is that for? I think that's where they put the microchip in. Oh, they put a little tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. Right next to your wiener. That's interesting. Yeah, that's where I'd get it.

I'm thinking about it. Yeah. Put like an arrow and then like a caption or something. Right. Caption this. So we get there and this dog has a cone on and I'm like, ooh, a cone. Cause he had just been fixed.

So he doesn't lick his own fixture. After a few seconds, I'm like, well, can we take this cone off? Cause I'm thinking, I cannot assess this dog with a cone on. Like that's not gonna happen. We put the cone back on afterward. So she takes the cone off. He is so clingy to this woman.

She's like a, she's a blonde woman, foster mom. So just like Christie's blonde, but then, so then she hands Jasper to Christie and then he just curls up and he's so timid. And she said, he's really clingy. He follows me around everywhere. He wants me to hold him all the time. And I'm like, hmm.

So he's got this separation anxiety where he has to be with her the whole time. Now, Christy's holding him and like he's putting his head on her neck. And then I was like, let me hold this dog. Now I was like, dang, this dog got some long legs. Like, I mean, look at the legs on this dog. This is crazy.

And where do those, do you know where the leg length comes from? We think that he is long-haired Datsun and Pomeranian. So we're thinking, but we don't know for sure. Pomeranians have long legs? I thought. That's what Christy told me. I don't know about that. I thoughtanians have long legs? I thought. That's what Christy told me. I don't know about that.

I thought, I was like, man, I was like, he's so much taller than Jade. He's like a deer, but his face looks like Jade's face. These are the things that I'm thinking. Right, again. And then I hold the dog and I'm like, oh, he's so cuddly. So he let you hold him the first time?

He was really scared. He was like- But he didn't growl at you? No, no, he didn't. But he definitely likes women a lot better than guys. Like he's growling at you. Yeah, like when I, but both when we recorded him on GMM and also this morning,

like if I just walk into the office, like he's fine with me right now, he lets me touch him, he's not growling, he doesn't seem too skeptical. In fact, just a second ago when he was laying there. He's warming up now. And I stopped petting him. He hit me with his nose to get me to keep going. But if I walk into the room and he's just on the floor,

immediate aggression, well, fear that then turns into aggression. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for i'm gonna guess for some of you that thing is anime hi i'm nick friedman i'm leo mary and i'm leah president and welcome to crunchyroll presents the anime effect it's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore so join us every friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll

or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. So I was holding him. I look over at the kids. They're like taking him in, analyzing him, but they could tell that I'm like inspecting him. I'm inspecting him everywhere, like looking at his teeth, looking at, like measuring,

like, is this arm too long? Like a dog judge that knows nothing about dogs. Lifting the tail, it's like, how tight is the tuchus? The anal hole, yeah. Like, I don't know, I really wasn't looking at the tightness or anything. I don't know why we're doing that. But it is important, yeah.

And then I looked at Christy and I looked at the kids and I said, let's get him. So I couldn't, and they were like, after all your lectures about the, of what we were not gonna say and not gonna do. This is the classic story. I knew it was gonna happen, that's why I told them not to do it.

You can't go see the dog. You can't, I mean, yeah, it's basically. You have to know that you're gonna bring the dog home. Cause you gotta be like, man, well, he's got a cone. That won't last forever. His legs are never gonna get shorter, but his face, his face is so good. So we bring him home.

I've got footage of introducing him to Jade and he's, yeah, he completely attached to Christy, like almost literally, like for the first couple of weeks, it was like, he would not leave her side. He insisted on being carried. I'm like, this is a problem, we gotta fix this. We eventually got him, we put him in like the place

where we board Jade and they also did some initial training for Jade, like we sent him there for a week to get more training. So he's a lot better in terms of being able to walk and sit and down and I'm crate training him now so that he can get over his separation anxiety. He's getting a lot better. Is he pooping in the house?

Yeah, he's, I mean, I tweeted that I stepped in some poop barefoot, that was Jasper from way back. You gotta sneeze, you're allergic to him. Well, yeah, I'm allergic to dogs and cats. So does that mean that the people who had him before just didn't even try? I don't understand. Yeah, I don't know.

And because he doesn't like guys, I don't know if there was something else going on, but sometimes they'll give you more of a sob story so you'll adopt them, but I think she could tell that we were already hooked. So that was pretty much the end of it. I mean, he and Jade get along. When Christy sits down on the couch,

Jasper is gonna be right there, like curled up with Christy, but then Jade will go over there and like try to get above Jasper on Christy. But not aggressive from what I've seen. It's just more of like a hierarchy of positioning. And then when the cat comes in the room, they both go after Sokka, but they're all playing and they're friends.

Jasper turns out really like Sokka because, well, Lily locked Sokka out of her room by accident and Sokka couldn of her room by accident and Sokka couldn't get to his litter box. And he went under the kitchen table and crapped. And it was like a juicy one. Ew, cat turds on the ground? This is there, I wasn't there for this. They told me this, but like, I'm like,

God, that's horrible. And then Chrissy said, and when I realized that it had happened, the way I realized it is because Jasper was over there eating it. Oh, bad boy. God, I mean, we've never, like Jade did, this is the first time the cat hasn't pooped

in the litter box. I'm like, what the crap are you doing? And then she's like Googling and trying to figure out what do you do when a dog eats cat diarrhea? Oh gosh, I don't even wanna think about this. And then he vomits. Good. It back up in a different spot.

So now she's cleaning up cat diarrhea over here and then vomited dog vomit cat diarrhea over here. Did you learn your lesson? And I'm like, Christy, which one smelled worse? Oh gosh. Turns out the vomit smelled worse. I didn't know if that would make it smell better. No, it gets worse.

Sorry, are you happy? You're just- He's doing really good right now. Yeah, I think he's tired. He's just chilling. So, you know, you start to learn the things that make him different from Jade. And one of the things is that he's a jumper.

His original name was Kobe. And I'm like- Oh, he kind of responded to that a little bit. I'm not gonna, we got to change that. Hold on, he was Kobe, but until 11 months old. I know, I know. He's a confused little man. But I was like, I've met the man

and he had a tragic passing. Those kind of cancel each other out and make it where like, I just don't, I don't wanna name my dog after a basketball player. I'm not that into basketball. And he doesn't jump that much. On the ride home from adopting him, I'm saying this, I'm like, we gotta come up with another name.

I'm like, well, let's just go with another J name. Jade was Jade's name from the adoption agency. We never changed it. Right. And I'm like, Lily's like, what about Jasper? Because it's another J name and it's a rock, it's a gemstone. Just like Jasper. I'm like, ooh, I like that.

Like Jade, yeah. And everybody else is like, I don't know about Jasper. I don't like the name Jasper. I was like, it'll grow on you. It's just a good theme. Gotta stick to themes here. We gotta get this out of the way. By the time we get home, he's gotta have a new name.

Then we get home, we're calling him Jasper. And then I noticed that like pretty early on, Christy has shortened Jasper to Jazzy. She's calling him Jazzy. So he goes from being Kobe to coming home to a new family that calls him two different things that are not Kobe. And I called him Long-Legged Peanut Butter Jade. Okay, that's more confusing.

That's what I wanted to call him, Long-Legged Peanut Butter Jade. Sometimes I still do, I'll call him Peanut Butter Jade, or I'll call him Long-Legged Peanut Butter Jade, or I'll call him Long Legs. butter Jade or I'll call him long legs. I'm aggressive. He doesn't care. Some heavy petting going on here.

But Christy calls him Jasper or Jazzy and I'm like, ooh, Jazzy. We can call him DJ Jazzy Jeff after the famous DJ who is behind all the success of the Fresh Prince. You know, I've always been a big fan of Jazzy Jeff. Right, yeah. More so than Fresh Prince. I just felt like he didn't get enough credit.

Okay. He's still doing his thing. He was a pioneer in the field. He wasn't just some pop rap DJ dude who was along for the ride. No, he made a lasting impact on the world of hip hop and still does. I'd love to meet you Jazzy Jeff, I named my dog after you. But I also named him after Jeff Probst.

Okay. The best host in the history of television. You have to land on one thing that you call the dog though. The dog has a name. Jasper DJ Jazzy Jeff Probst. Like you can't call your dog multiple things. You have to, you have to- When we train him, we call him Jasper.

Okay, so when he is expected to do something, he is Jasper. In any other circumstance, he's something else. Yeah, and look, you can move around. I can mop the floor with this guy. He's kind of like a Smithsonian exhibit, the way you can just kind of manipulate him. Yeah, I know.

See, and this is what I wanted. And this is what you get with this type of dog. You know, it's like, well, I'm just gonna stay here. I'm just gonna, he's a love sponge, man. And he's got this thing we call the face. Have you seen this? When he's excited. So when I come home, he still barks

until he realizes it's me. And then he'll get, and this is why we think this is a Pomeranian thing, unless he's not Pomeranian, whatever part he is, this is where this comes from, because Jade doesn't do this. He will snarl his lips. Like smile a little bit? He'll snarl his lips and move his jaw like this.

And he just, when he gets excited, he's doing this with his lips. And we call it the face. And we don't like it. So we always tell him, don't do the face. Well, I'm gonna tell you right now. Don't do the face. He doesn't get his long legs from a Pomeranian.

That's what I thought. That's what a Pomeranian looks like. Well, there's a big mane under that mane, and they're like long legs. That's not that long. that's what a Pomeranian looks like. Well, there's a big mane under that mane and they're like long legs. That's not that long. These are really long legs. Yeah, he's something else. Here look, here's a Pomeranian with a-

A fake leg. A prosthetic wooden leg. Oh man, Jasper, that could be cool. But he could be part of that because his, I mean, his face is that color. His face is the same as Jade's, you know? I mean, he's definitely got some Dotson in him, long-haired Dotson, but I don't know,

I don't know what the other thing is. But it is, I mean, doing the genetic analysis is something that- You should do it because- Just because it's fun to know. Because he's definitely, I mean, because like a real long long haired Dotson has those really long ears, right? And both Jade and him have-

Shorter ears. Short ears, it comes from something. Yeah, we'll have to figure that out. But the thing that I've noticed in including him in the family is I think I've gone, it's expanded my, well, I thought I was a dog person because of Jade, but I think I was just a Jade person. Like I like dogs a lot more,

but I've noticed now that Jasper's there and we're like going through training again and trying to get them to cooperate and learn and understand. It's like there's a reward associated with that that I hadn't experienced because I didn't train Jade that much at all. And I'm not training him that much,

but even a little bit of obedience, it's very rewarding. And I start to feel like I'm moving from being a Jade lover to actually being a dog lover. But Jade will always be my number one. We started watching this show about dogs because we started getting into it and there's this like grooming competition show. It's absolutely obnoxious.

I can't even remember the name of it. I couldn't get through a whole episode because the pilot episode, it was just obnoxious. I can't even remember the name of it. I couldn't get through a whole episode because the pilot episode, it was just obnoxious. But the competition was, these groomers were given a dog that looked like what they called their heart dog, which is like the first dog that like won their heart over. So for me, that's Jade.

Jade is my heart dog. I assume Barbara's gonna be your heart dog. You won't really know until you get another dog because all of these people, their heart dogs have passed away and now they still love dogs and they groom and stuff like that. But they have this special attachment to this one dog

that like connected with their heart. And so they brought out these dogs that looked like their heart dog, cause they would show a picture of this is so-and-so, he died in 1986, and then, but I'm gonna groom this dog to look like him. And then they're in tears grooming these dogs. What is this on?

One of the streamers, Netflix maybe, I don't know. But the thing that I couldn't help but notice is that none of the dogs- Look like the heart dogs? Look like the heart dog, yet these people were still bawling, like, didn't he look just like my munchkin? You know, and I'm like, no, he doesn't.

But I think there's like some sort of blindness. Okay, so with that, I mean, first of all, I'm a dog person and have always been a dog person, but without a doubt connected much more with Barbara than any other dog that I've ever had. If for no other reason than Barbara's been around for like, what, five years now. But she's also your first indoor dog.

No, no, I had two. We had Merle and Gypsy. Oh yeah, that's right, that's right. But both of them died within a year, right? You know, if you've read the book of mythicality, you know my, you know the dog curse. And so, but it's interesting because, I mean, first of all, Jessie for the entire pandemic

has been every like every couple of nights, she's on the couch, she's going through the adoption websites. Like she is big, let's get a second dog. And this is, Jasper, he sheds more than Jade because I'm seeing his hair go around and that's why I'm sneezing. Here's the thing, I'm not opposed to a second dog. I know for a fact that I would,

like, you know, you see those classic TikToks, which I think you kind of represent the classic dad situation, which is like a dad who's completely opposed to getting a dog, doesn't think he likes dogs. I mean, I've seen like a hundred TikToks where it's just like dad saying, you're gonna have to take care of this thing

and then cut to, they play the song and it's this dad doing what you're doing with the dog and it's like, it's a trope at this point. But that's not me. I knew that I was going to be sickeningly in love with Barbara, say embarrassing things to her that sometimes my wife tweets about what I say to Barbara. Barbara is my mistress, she's my girlfriend.

I'm completely in love with her. And I do want another dog. Or I'm open to another dog and I don't feel like it would be this thing where it's just like, oh, this dog is replacing Barbara. I'm so happy and content with Barbara that I don't feel a need for another dog. Yeah.

And the thought of like the initial sort of like process of training and first of all, my kids aren't gonna do anything helpful. My kids don't help at all when it comes to this stuff. Right? Are they saying that they also want a dog though? Of course they want a dog because they don't have to do anything except play with it.

Yeah, it wouldn't be theirs. It would be on me and Jessie to do the stuff to make it a good dog, right? And I'm just like, I don't know. I could easily be broken down. This is not some giant barrier. If you went home today and there was a dog, you would. I'd be super happy.

So is it really Jessie's not, Jessie's not, she's not, she's not, I don't know if she's ready. Well, there's complicating factors with us. Like I don't think we could have Jasper in the house because I would be sneezing all the time. Like Barbara is, you know, I know there's controversy over this, but hypoallergenic is a thing.

There are dogs that are less prone to give you allergies and they're the ones that have hair rather than fur. And I don't know what Barbara is. She's a mix of some kind. But she doesn't cause me to start sneezing when I hang out with her. So we would need to get a dog that fits in that category, but yet we would want to adopt a dog

versus like go to a breeder. So it's like, it kind of complicates and makes our decision a little bit more difficult. But the interesting thing is, is I don't have any desire for my next dog to look like Barbara, but I am very interested in the disposition being the same. Yeah, once you get used to one kind, it's easier.

You know what you're dealing with. At least you got a baseline. Also, I don't have, like the fact that like, it takes a lot for, it took a lot for Jade and it takes more for Jasper to like warm up to people. And that feels like more of a project to me. Yeah. I don't have a lot of,

I don't think Jessie has a lot of capacity for a project dog. It's more just like, I mean, I love Barbara, but I do understand that if Barbara were to go to an Airbnb where somebody else lived, and then we forgot her and left her there and the other family came home, she would immediately acclimate and love them

just as much as she loves us. Like she is a endless supply of attention and cuddling, but it is not exclusive to us. Yeah, the thing about, I actually saw it as an advantage to, I almost said download Jasper at 11 months old to adopt him at that age because yeah, the whole, you get the cuteness of the puppy,

but at least I thought, I mean, there's a lot more training that goes into it. And we were told that he was housebroken. We also knew that if he's part Dotson, that he's still gonna sneak off and poop for the next three years. He'd look at shit here and there. Yeah, that too.

But what we didn't know was that, okay, you give up all of the puppy learning curve and you lose the cuteness, you get more of the dog that you know you're gonna be with, but you also get some sort of, if there's any emotional baggage or trauma or something like that. Like his separation anxiety is something

that we're dealing with. And if Christie's like goes out in the front yard, leaves him in the house, he's like barking and howling. And like I said, I'm doing some crate training to get him better at that. And you know, in a few months, I'm sure he'll be a lot better but I think ultimately I'm glad that we got a dog that was a little bit older, you know?

And Christy is so attached to him because he's, you know, he needs her so much that like, she just loves it. She just eats it up and she's like, I mean, she'll say, you know, I didn't save him, he saved me. But it's like, I was, and I'm like, Christy, are you doing what's best for the dog? Like you're really, you cuddle him so much that like, that's not really helping

with the separation anxiety. You know, it's like, I mean, she doesn't take a shower with the dog and we do get him in the crate now for that. But yeah, for a while I was like, are you making him worse because it makes you feel that much better that he needs you so much? Are you saying this is like a Munchausen situation

or however you say that? I don't really know what that is. Well, that's when, not to make light of it, this is a real thing that happens. So it's when a parent purposely keeps a child sick. So the child is dependent upon them. Oh my God. It's like the little girl in Sixth Sense

that is under the bed and yeah, and this happens all the time. It's like this kid is being constantly like, usually they're like poisoning the kid or doing something to like keep the kids sick because it creates this codependent relationship that makes the parent feel like they've got some self worth. So you think your wife is doing that with your dog?

Yes, definitely poisoning the dog. No. She's the one who took, that wasn't cat shit. That was something Christy made and said was cat shit. Okay, yeah, it seems like Christy and I have something to talk about tonight. Okay, so we got another member of the family. I don't regret it.

I'm actually feeling pretty good about it. And I think he's feeling good about it. You know, he's loving everybody in the house and he doesn't hate you anymore. He's just barking at you. Yeah, I think, I mean, I think the cool thing about a dog like Jasper is that there is a,

he presents a challenge. He just said, he just picked something off the ground. Yeah, he tastes a lot of things. And it's a challenge that I'm okay with that challenge if it's my friend's dog. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I'm trying to get Jasper to warm up to me and one day he will, like Jade used to bark at me

and now Jade wants to lick me every time I see her. It's just the process of making that transformation happen is something that I don't know if I have the patience for my own dog. So I'm happy for you to do the work and me to experience the benefit. I think you should do it. I think you need to get another Barbara.

Well, you know, we did, it's funny. We went through this phase with Barbara where I was so sure that like I was talking seriously about cloning Barbara. You loved her that much. And being, it's not, well, it wasn't that, it's not that I love her less. It was that I hadn her less, it was that I hadn't had a dog in a long time,

hadn't had a dog that I had connected with to the degree that we've connected with Barbara, began to believe that maybe the dog curse was over, especially when she got out and literally left the house and jumped into somebody, a stranger's car, and still came back to us. At that point, I was like, okay, maybe the curse is broken. And we started to think like,

oh, what if we always had this little white dog? We always called her Barbara and that, cause there are people who do this. And it was just like, let's just do this for the rest of time. You know, the price of cloning a dog is going, is dropping every year. So, and then I was like, that's crazy. I mean, I was like, that's crazy.

I mean, I was like, that's crazy. And also insisting on it being Barbara and looking like Barbara, no offense to you, I was like, I feel like I'm giving into some unhealthy tendency. So I was- I'm not gonna clone Jade. So I was like-

But I do still think about it. I'm going to, you know, I let go of that and I know that I love the next dog as much. Jessie wants Barb. I just wanted Jade to not be threatened. I didn't want a new dog to get more attention. So I didn't want an upgrade because I thought Jade could pick up on that.

I wanted Jade to stay the queen and she's still my dog. Now this is Christy's dog and Jade is still the best. Well, the thing that Jessie keeps saying is that she doesn't want there, she wants there to be a crossover between Barbara and the next dog. And so why not begin the process now? Yeah, you're talking about lifespan here.

Yeah, she's like the idea of Barbara dying and then like going through this grieving phase and then finding another dog, which I think there's an argument to be made there, but Barbara's only five years old. She's a little dog. She's gonna probably at least be 12, 13, maybe significantly older, I don't know.

I don't know, I'm sure we'll get another dog at some point and I'm sure I'll love it just as much as I love Barbara. I mean, well, maybe a little bit less. A little bit less. A little bit less. I don't think I'm ever gonna love a dog as much as Jade. And I don't want to. I can give you a rec though, it's totally related.

You know, I said we were watching that dog grooming show. The reason why Lando got me to watch that because he thought I'd be into it is because he had gotten me into another show that I'm recommending called Canine Intervention. Canine Intervention, it's kind of like Dog Whisperer, if you're familiar with that show, but I actually haven't watched that show that much.

Caesar? Yeah, Caesar show. But it's like, you got problem dogs that then this guy, I call him Jase, it's J-A-S, like short for Jason maybe, but the way that he says his name is like Joss or Jad. That's a little weird. I can't, they don't say his name enough for me to get it straight in my head, but it's this guy from Oakland

who travels all around California and helps with troubled dogs. And like, he's got this training facility and the way they do these shows now, it's like, all right, there's a story of these dogs and it's like, really compelling, like tears in my eyes, watching these dogs transform. It's just like, I think that's the other thing

that made it click for me was like, I wanted to watch this show because I'm trying to help train Jasper, but then I'm connecting to all these dog stories and like weeping, it's a really good show. And then at the end, like with all these reality shows, you see him back home with his family talking about like, oh, they got a newborn and then they got these like

seemingly ferocious dogs that are just like so well-trained and all around the baby. And so you get to know their home life and his professional life. And he's just got such a- It's called canine intervention. Canine intervention. But it's super cool.

I mean, the stories are really good. It's really well produced. And that's my rec. If you're into dogs, you should definitely watch it because all of the stories and transformations are inspirational and moving. All right, canine intervention. Yeah.

Thanks for listening. Send my wife links to dogs that you think that we should adopt and... Oh, oh, oh! Hashtag your biscuits. You know not what you ask for. Hashtag your biscuits. All right, we'll speak at you next week. Let us know what you think about adopting dogs,

second dog adoption experience, all this stuff. If you relate to it, hashtag your biscuits. Next week, we're gonna be unearthing all our ideas in traditional entertainment that were squashed.