Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Link’s Sobering Trip Back Home | Ear Biscuits Ep.297

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

From highlights like living that Belch Life to gaining a sobering perspective on human mortality, listen to Link recount his back to North Carolina on this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Other conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dimmed lighting, I'm gonna bring you into the world of my trip

back to North Carolina. Three weeks, as I said, is a long time to be anywhere, but hey, when you haven't seen your family since Thanksgiving of 2019, there's lots of stored up energy and love to give. So you gotta go back home and you gotta make sure, you know, there's all these conversations. Are we gonna, we gotta have enough time

and there's no holiday. There's no, so it's not like we, well, there is July 4th, but there's no like gift giving holiday. You can get gifts on July 4th. Christmas tradition type stuff. The gift of freedom. The logistics of holidays tends to over impose on just a simple enjoying life with relatives.

That was the thesis going into our trip. I think in practice, there was some business to take care of logistically and emotionally actually back home. Some of which I anticipated, some of which I didn't and some of which I'm still processing. And of course I save all of my deepest introspection for this venue, Rhett. Right, now if this is your first episode of Ear Biscuits,

welcome. We never do this. I'm honored that this is the first one you're dipping your toe into. And when we do things in life, like go on trips, we then do episodes about them, right? Two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. Last week, I talked about my trip to North Carolina,

which was- I loved it. Action-packed, fun, there was a fire, there was whitewater rafting, zip lining, golf. A lot of people have been getting on me lately about the way I say golf. You really think? People are like- No L? I don't- Golf? I grew up in Buies Creek.

Say it. Golf. Yeah, we don't say the L. I guess I in Buies Creek. Say it. Golf. Yeah, we don't say the L. I guess I say it without the L. It's just, it's not, it's a dialect. It's the way that we talk, golf. Yeah, I could say golf, golf, golf, golf. Golf. But it's unnecessary, so I say golf.

But I do pronounce the H in white, white. So yeah, so today's episode is Link sharing his trip. Now, I saw you, speaking of your trip, serendipity would have it that we were on the same flight back home. What? Why didn't you say anything? You didn't even, I mean, with the masks and all,

it's hard to recognize you. I remember having a conversation with you at the airport, so hopefully you do remember. Yeah, so after our trip, we convened and then just happened to be on the same flight back. Really, I mean, so close to each other that we were able to put Shepard and Lando in seats next to each other, you know.

And it was interesting because I could just see it on your face. Yeah, what? Well, first of all, I think we were all ready. I mean, regardless of how a trip has gone, at this point in my life, I'm always ready to go back home. I started thinking about the routine and I started thinking about the, and I'm not even a routine oriented,

sort of predictability oriented guy, but yet I still miss a lot of the conveniences and things that I've kind of mapped out. And I'm not even on that end of the spectrum. For you and the rest of the meals. I am. And you had had one week on me. I'm blowing the end of the spectrum.

You had had one additional week on me. And also based on what you have hinted at without telling me, it seems that you had, there was heavier things going on. I have said that, haven't I? But I mean, and coming back home, especially after being isolated in your home and I like my home and I like the people in my home

and we found a way to make it work and optimize things. And I like to optimize things. But even beyond that, when you got these two precious dogs that you have, Christy's like, is Jasper gonna remember me? She would always say that. I'll be like, yes, he's gonna remember you. You know a lot of faith in your dogs.

Of course they remembered us. And Sokka the cat even seemed a little happy to have us back, but the dogs were ecstatic. You know, we walk in the door and they're like- Making fools of themselves. Happy peeing on the floor. Yeah. It's like, I mean, I would love to get so happy

that I just pee on the floor. I mean, pull my pants down and then pee on the floor. Not just pee on my pants, I wouldn't pee on my pants. That seems a little too intentional. That's what the dogs do. I'm like, they just can't help themselves. They love us so much. Hold on, do they both do this?

They both pee in excitement? Happy pee, yeah, it's definitely a dog thing. Well. A wiener dog, definitely. Yeah, because Barbara gets embarrassingly happy. But she's never happy peed. She does not pee. She's got that under control.

She doesn't have her like, the sounds that she makes are embarrassing and there's like crying. It's like, it's very intense. I will say it was significantly more intense for Jessie when she got back from her trip to North Carolina than it was for me even though Barbara loves me to death, but she didn't give me,

she didn't roll out the red carpet in the same way that she did for Jessie, and so I'm kind of holding that against her. Oh yeah, because- But she did not, I mean, she will urinate on the carpet. But it's not tied to happy. But not because she's happy, because somebody didn't let her out when she rang the bell. So there's, I'll start with some bookends to this trip,

because I botched the bookends, okay? First thing was, well, I decided strategically, every other time we've gone home, we've just moved from house to house and visiting with people and celebrating, usually either Thanksgiving or Christmas, and you're moving around a lot, a lot of couch surfing and it's absolutely exhausting

and there's never any personal space. So especially with three weeks in this plan, I was like, okay, we're gonna try something new. We're gonna stay at an Airbnb. Also, Christy's sister had just had a baby and there was like the COVID protocols of it all and like maybe being isolated and stuff like that and taking into account other people's preferences

in the family. Well, basically just having a newborn in their house meant that we couldn't stay at their house anyway where we normally stay. But this seems like a genius plan. Can I just say that? Renting an Airbnb. I've never done this,

but I feel like this was a smart move. I mean, well, we did the Airbnb in the mountains, but yeah, it was different. I feel like more people, if you can afford it, Yeah, it can be pricier. should do this. But I gotta say, I think that many families would be insulted by you deciding to stay somewhere else. And I think that many families would be insulted by you deciding to stay somewhere else.

And I think that people just need to like, just relax and just don't, I'm not saying this would happen, it would just happen to my family, I'm not saying this. But I think that there's, for most people, there's a reservation to make the choice to do what you did to stay at an Airbnb, especially when you've got to visit multiple people.

Oh gosh. Even if you're gonna go and they have room and it's just one family, I think that having your own space, I think it only contributes to the time together being sweeter than having to just be up in each other's space. I think the quarantine experience also informed this

that, okay, we're all in the same house so much more that we learn to respect people's boundaries and be grateful that we have a house where everybody can have their own private space and to retreat into. So having a renewed sense of that importance, that also informed the trip. Now that, so that was not botched.

That was brilliant planning. So on the, but on the back bookend, one of the things that you should do if you're booking an Airbnb is book it for the entire trip. Like don't book it for three weeks minus one day. So we, Jenna's like putting her head down. It's not Jenna's fault. You didn't do this, I did this.

Link did it himself. I took it into my own hands. I don't know what happened, but we're flying out. Dates are numbers. Flying out on the 23rd, but I put the checkout on the 22nd. Did not know this, never occurred to me until noon

on the 22nd, the oldest kids were, they're still asleep. They sleep till noon. Right. And this is one of those days where we weren't getting up and visiting family and all of a sudden there's like this aggressive knock on the door and it's the cleaning lady coming to clean the Airbnb and I opened the door and she's like, I'm here to clean the Airbnb and I opened the door and she's like,

I'm here to clean and I'm like, well, we're booked through tomorrow. Yeah, you definitely took the wrong posture in this situation. For some reason I was so confident, which was just stupid. I should have immediately known that this is my fault. Right, yeah.

But it took me a second and she was like, and then I pulled up the thing and I was like, oh crap, you're right. We'll be out of here as soon as we can. So then I'm like waking up the older kids. But at least you were not in Cancun and you know, I made the same mistake on my honeymoon. Right.

I was in my bathing suit with the sculpture in hand when this happened to me, but I had to stay at a seedy hotel in the- You had a sculpture in your hand? I had just done the sculpture class. Oh. And I was like holding a sculpture and finding out that I was supposed to be on a plane.

Oh yeah, thank God we didn't, thank God it wasn't the other way. So what did you do, where did you end up staying? The street? I was like, we can't extend another day because she's coming to clean for the next people to come in and they're already asking, can they check in early? And of course that ain't happening.

So we had stuff packed up enough because we had taken a mini trip. There were a couple of mini trips in there where we had to pack everything up and visit relatives a little further away, which I'll tell you about. So fortunately in record time, in about 20 minutes, from understanding that we did not belong there anymore,

we were out of there. And then I found another Airbnb closer to the airport for the final night. But it did make our next to last day pretty hectic. Because in the last day was just getting up and getting ready to go to the airport and everything. That was the back end, but right when we get there to the Airbnb, I'm feeling good, I'm like,

this is a good decision, we have a home base, it's gonna revolutionize this entire experience. Are you saying things like that? I will say, the dads tend to do that, they tend to say, what you just said to me, you say to the family. This is good, we have a home base, and no one cares. Yes. You're doing it for no one. Yes, thank you.

Yeah, so next time, just keep it inside. Well, you know. We have to learn to inhibit that dad instinct because it's only gonna get worse as we get older. They don't, I just noticed every time I start trying to talk about how good the plan that I made is, everybody starts walking away slowly. Yeah, they don't miss a beat when I'm doing that.

It's as if I'm just muttering to myself, but emoting a little too much. It's a good plan, we got a home base. It's who's dad talking to, himself. And I'm like, okay, well, you know, in order to fully realize this experience, I'm gonna go to my room with my suitcase and I'm gonna unpack all of my stuff.

Like- Elevate your suitcase on one of those things? Did they have one of those things? No, I just put it on the bed. I also elevated Christy's because hers was heavy and I don't want any early vacation suitcase lifting injuries. You know, I'm like,

I'm thinking of all the potential pitfalls and I'm putting everything away, making this space my own. This is the launch pad- Using drawers? From which we are- I don't use drawers because if you use drawers- You might forget. You leave stuff in drawers.

Unless a drawer check is part of the routine. But I put out my toiletries in the right place and I put my suitcase in a way, I organize it in a way that it becomes a series of drawers almost. As I'm doing that and putting things in my suitcase in like an open faced suitcase sandwich situation, I realize that I've overlooked a key aspect

of my apparel. I have not packed any t-shirts. I didn't pack. Wow. I thought you were gonna say like, cause my dad didn't bring underwear. He didn't? On the trip to the mountains.

And so he had to like go to Walmart and get more underwear. What is the one- It's easy to correct underwear. What's the one category if you had to like go to Walmart and get more underwear. But that's easy to correct underwear. What's the one category if you were to miss it entirely would have the greatest impact? For me? I mean, I know you're a tall guy. Pants. Pants, probably.

But during the summer season, shorts is not, I mean, shorts don't, it's not as big of a deal. I had a couple of- So shirts is about as bad as it gets. I brought a couple of button up shirts. I knew we weren't gonna go out to dinner. That wasn't part of any of our plans, really. It was more of like visiting people in T-shirts.

The only T-shirt I brought was the one that I was sleeping in and the one I was gonna sleep in when the one I was sleeping in was being washed. What's your packing system? How did you forget T-shirts? I saved the most important thing to last because in my mind, the T-shirts are the most important part and I need to like make a big stack of those.

Well, I know you got a lot of- And I use them to pad other things in my package. You got a lot of systems for things and I don't have a lot of systems, but can I just give you my, I think the reason I don't forget clothing on a trip, now I'll forget other things, toiletries, medicine, whatever,

but I don't forget apparel because I have the toe to head check. You sit, yeah, yeah. So I'm just like, you have all the shoes that you want, the flip flops, everything that can go on your feet. You don't have to walk through it, I understand. And then you get to the top.

It's a good idea, but don't insult me by. But you get to the top. Give me a body scan. But you get to the top body scan and t-shirts are part of the body. This is the way that I do it. I do it by, I have my drawers organized by, you know, I got a sock and underwear drawer

and then I've got, I've got a pants drawer and then I've got a workout slash shorts drawer and then I've got some miscellaneous drawer and then I've got my shirts over here and my button ups hanging over here. So if I go to every segment and take out the appropriate amount of things from each place, then I've done it.

So what happened? I don't know, I think, but returning to go to my t-shirt pile, I just overlooked it entirely. I don't know what happened, man. Must've somebody distracted you in the midst of it. I mean, I ended up- You must have gotten a text. I ended up finding a shop

and just buying a bunch of shirts in one place. I bought like seven shirts. Like cool t-shirts or just like- Well, in Urban Outfitters. I can still get a t-shirt from Urban Outfitters. But not like you didn't do like, I'm gonna do the Fruit of the Loom eight pack. No. Okay.

There's increasing number of things that I can't buy in Urban Outfitters, but t-shirts, I can still find some stuff that I don't feel like I'm posing. I'm not buying a bucket hat and some big old britches like my son is. So it started and it ended in shaky ways, but there was definitely some highlights to this thing.

I'll stick with the Airbnb. Lando came up to me on the first night and he says, "'You know, Dad, together is a beautiful place to be.'" And I felt, it just warmed my heart. I'm like, you're so sweet. But I can tell by the look on his face that he was doing some sort of bit. And then I look over his shoulder and there is a picture,

here it is, I took a picture of it. It's one of those Airbnbs. There's a decor decision that's being made. There's a picture that says, it's just a brown frame with a green mat and then a white page that just has lettering on it. It's just words, there's no other decoration. And the words say, together is a beautiful place to be.

That is the piece of decoration. I understand the sentiment. This would upset me because I'm very anti words on the wall in the house. Well. I don't like messages hung on the wall. Lando thought it was hilarious. I think it's ridiculous.

But it can go to extremes it turns out. The only type of decoration in this Airbnb are motivational text based pictures that Lando had committed them all to memory and then he just starts spouting them off to me because he found it very funny too. I think it's, I'm not gonna say it's a Southern thing. It's a Southern thing.

But it's a Southern thing. It's a Southern thing. But it's a Southern thing. And a Midwestern thing. We were, you know, we're driving through all these like new neighborhoods that they're building that we were talking about last week. And I passed one neighborhood and it had a, they had a front porch. It was one of those new cookie cutter houses like,

oh, you know, we're up to date. Everything's brand new. On their porch, they had a vertical sign that was probably four and a half feet tall and a foot and a half wide. And in vertical letters on their front porch, the sign said, not welcome. I've seen those too.

It said, porch. I swear to you, they had a sign on their porch that just said porch and I swear to you, they had a sign on their porch that just said porch and it was that big propped up next to their door in an intentionally decorative way. Why have art when you can have font? Right, so Lando, I mean, I guess when you're, this is a full-time Airbnb.

It was well-designed. Except for the words on the wall. And renovated, but this was a choice that I question. These signs were everywhere. And let's see if you can finish some of these sentences. Okay? Okay. Here's another one in the hallway. Life isn't about finding yourself.

Life is about blanking yourself. Touching. Yeah. Now that might change your tune, right? It's like, wow, this house really has something to say. Being. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Oh, give me a break. Creating. I like being yourself, but it's not assertive enough for an Airbnb wall. Right next to it, because this is a group of three, like a group of three. Don't look at any. Gosh, what were these people thinking?

Life is better when you're blanking. Fishing. It's not a tackle box themed house. Loving. Shabby chic, I think is maybe the word, but. Ing? Life is better when you're eating. When you're loving, that's good.

When you're eating, yeah, that's your mantra. Touching yourself and eating. At the same time. This is saying a lot about you. I've done it. No, this one is life is better when you're laughing. Okay, all right. I mean, we gotta agree with that, right?

Yeah, but. The business we're in. Life is better when you're eating. I don't know what it is. I'm not a natural rebel, but I just don't, to me, the reason I don't like words on things is I don't like people thinking things for me and telling me, it feels like I'm being prescribed

a bunch of things the way I'm supposed to think about life and I'm supposed to be reminded that I'm special. I don't want that. I feel insulted by it. I guess that's my problem with it. If you have a problem with that, then you wouldn't like the wifi network name, which was Jesus Link One. And I don't know if they made it that because-

They knew you were coming? It was like a, for me. I think it was just like Link in like the internet terminology. Does that mean the only way to connect with Jesus there is through the wifi? He only responds to wifi in this house? Prayer doesn't work?

I did connect. Okay, all right. I'm not done, Rhett. Even with this trio in the hallway, in a world where you can be anything, be yourself. That's a little lazy. Happy. But it is gonna be that sappy.

Joyful. In a world where you can be anything, be kind. That makes me want to be unkind. See, that's my problem. You tell me to be kind, I'm like, who came up with that? Give me their address. It's just a- I'm gonna aggressively knock on their door.

It is heavy handed. I didn't, it's lazy decor. And especially to do it everywhere. It's tacky, that's the big thing. I believe it's lazy decor. And especially to do it everywhere. It's tacky, that's the big thing. I believe it's tacky. Come on now. I believe it's tacky. Is anybody ever in the world,

would you go into the Louvre Museum and they're like, this is the section where people have written motivational words onto things. No, because nobody gives a damn about that. Because it's lazy and it doesn't take any, it just doesn't, it's not expressive, it's prescriptive. If I want advice, I'll ask somebody. Come on now.

I just feel preached to. And even without the Jesus link one thing, I feel preached to everywhere I turn in this house. I didn't write this in the review, by the way, maybe I should identify it. Well, a lot of people like it. I'm not done. They're very popular.

Here's another one. Collect beautiful... Memories. Close. Moments. And then they had a coffee set, and guess what? The coffee mugs, which is pretty nice, hefty pottery. This is a different category for me.

Every single one of them had words written on them. Like, this is different to me. Espresso yourself. This is okay. This is a mug. Mugs can have things written on them because mugs are not pieces of art first and foremost. Well, this one's ceramic. They're not decor.

They're things that you use. But it's an exposed shelf and they were all facing you. So when you walk in the kitchen, you read them as if they were signage. So it is decor because it's constantly out. I guess it would be expresso yourself. What about stay positive? No, I hate that.

Stay positive. Yeah, I don't need a message like that. If there's a pun, I like espresso yourself. That's pretty good. What about keep it simple? Okay, stop giving me advice on the damn mugs. I know. Last but not least, I like you a latte.

That's good. Okay. I mean, at least they're puns and that's good. Coffee related, right? There were three or four more, but I got too exhausted to keep taking photos. But I really, I mean, when your son like ambushes you with a comedic bit about it, it really, it was a milestone moment in the vacation.

I was really proud of Lando to go into comedy mode. And he, like he found humor in it and he memorized all of them. And then he would just speak in the inspirational language of the decor. Hey, and listen, if I'm wrong about this, I mean, obviously these are popular. They sell them everywhere, Cracker Barrel especially.

If this is, if I'm missing something, if I need more- And don't say I, we, we are a united front on this. If we need more words- We're against it. In our lives, on the wall. Tweet at us. Okay? Hashtag Ear Biscuits.

Just tell us why we're wrong. Now if it's the thing above the toilet about if you sprinkle when you tinkle, now that's okay. Please be neat and wipe the seat. That's okay, that's different to me. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply.

A couple other highlights from my trip. I'm still sticking with the Airbnb. I haven't even gotten to my family yet. Lincoln was sick with a cold at the beginning. Your family gave it to him. Well, and my family got it from another family. And he really didn't- That's how colds work. And we all took COVID tests when we got there and we were all negative.

We know for a fact he didn't have it, but we kept him at home because he felt so bad and we didn't wanna give anybody that we were seeing negative, we know for a fact he didn't have it. But we kept him at home because he felt so bad and we didn't wanna give anybody that we were seeing a cold. We gave him NyQuil, I think that had something to do with this, but he started talking about all the crazy dreams he was having when he'd wake up at like noon and see us. But let's see, he would stay up. He would stay up so late.

That's why he was sleeping late and just hanging out with his friends. But one time he texted his friends and he said, I've been in a car accident and they put me on a stretcher and they threw me through the window and I'm in bed now and I don't know what's going on. And- He actually texted this to his friends.

He sleep texted his friends because that was the, the dream was he was in a car accident and then they put him on a stretcher and they threw him through the second story window that's beside his bed and he landed in the bed and he was so scared and disoriented that he texted his friends for help. And so they're like receiving the message at like,

what would be like, four in the morning. And then they quickly realized as he's describing how they EMTs threw him through a window that like, dude, you're still asleep. They're like texting him. Hold on, they knew that this was a possibility? I mean, six. No, they didn't, but it was the way that he was texting,

it was coherent, but the message was so outlandish. I would have assumed it was a joke before I assumed that he was sleep texting because I didn't know that sleep texting was a thing. I talked to them and they were freaking out at first because the first text is I've been in a car accident. That's big. And why would he text, you know?

The next day, Christy and I are downstairs and it's like 11 a.m. and Christy says, "'Lincoln just texted me and said "'that there's something on his light and I told him I'm not going up there because she's watching some show that she was really into. And Virgin River. Christy and her Virgin River.

Wow. It's like. I thought it was the second season, it's still a Virgin? Apparently, things move slowly. Wow, they're really drawing that one out. It's like a lazy river, I guess. She's like, so I'm not going up there. And she texts him this and he says, you have to-

There's something on my light. You have to come up here and get it. Like a bug? So I grab a broom and a paper towel and I go upstairs and when I get upstairs, I mean, it's broad daylight. It's 11 a.m. I look at Lincoln standing there beside the bed. He's facing the other direction a little bit,

but I didn't really notice that because I'm looking at the light and I'm like, and I have the stuff to come to the rescue and I'm like, Lincoln, there is nothing on the light. And I look at Lincoln and he's not awake. He had a text conversation with Christy about a hallucination on the light. This is fascinating to me.

I said, Lincoln, there's nothing on your light, son. Go back to bed or actually get up. It's 11 a.m. He went back to sleep for an hour. He was still sick. I'm not a sleep expert, but it feels like, it feels like this is a step or two beyond sleep walking and the sleep texting.

There's a level of focus that has to happen. I looked into it a little bit. That makes me, is it just because he was sick? I think those were factors, but. This is something he's gonna have to like manage is what I'm getting at. I mean, especially it just because he was sick? I think those were factors, but- This is something he's gonna have to like manage is what I'm getting at. I mean, especially in a foreign environment where if you're a little disoriented

and so you don't know, he wasn't used to where he was and he was sick and he was on, had some NyQuil or whatever. I don't think it's cause for alarm. Like my aunt, my aunt TC, we were telling my family about this and my dad was like, well, you know, when she was growing up, she would sleepwalk

and she'd sleepwalk right out the front door onto the street. So it can get- That's what I'm getting at. Yeah, I gotta keep an eye on him, which we do. So everything- You gotta take his phone and like tie him down. Sleep texting, but yeah, I mean, people are known to like,

there is such a thing as sleep sexing. Like you could have sex in your sleep. I think I've done that. It's happened, according to the internet. A couple other highlights of my trip. We saw my brand new niece, Sylvie, sweet little baby. Like, it's been so long since I held a newborn that I was a tad bit nervous.

Right. And then there was a sign that was like, always remember when you're holding a baby, remember the gravy. Well, Christy. And you were like, okay, this is gonna be okay. I told Christy that I was like, you know, I actually feel a little nervous holding the baby

because this is just between me and her. And then so when we walk in the door and we're all seeing the baby for the first time, she's like, Link said he was nervous holding the baby, and this is between me and her. And this, when we walk in the door and we're all seeing the baby for the first time, she's like, Link said he was nervous holding the baby, so he's gonna have to sit down before we give her to him. Listen, this is a good call, trust me. I was not, yeah, I didn't fight it. Holding a baby is exhausting.

I guess when you're that anxious about it. So I do have footage of being entirely conked out on the couch next to a newborn baby, which is so cute. You know, I wanna give that gift to all the YouTube watchers of Ear Biscuits. Sylvie and her older proud brother, Nehemiah, we're hanging out with them. Definitely a highlight.

Seeing my dad. We had to drive and spend, we spent two nights at my dad's house down in North Myrtle Beach, where he is permanently living that beach life. We had a blast down there. The kids couldn't get over how warm the ocean was. I was like, I told you kids,

you're gonna love this ocean, it's so warm, you're not gonna remember how hot it is. And one highlight was the fact that everybody was willing to get in the ocean and stay in it. You know, out here on this Pacific Ocean, only the youngest or wetsuited get in there. Christy wouldn't dream of getting in that ocean and like just hanging out with the family.

So like actually all five of us were like in the ocean. The waves were pretty mild, just enjoying ourselves. And my dad was out there. It was like, it's one of those rare times when you're doing something as a family that everybody's really into it. Is your dad a body surfer? He didn't body surf, but he has, yeah. He seems like a body surfer? He didn't body surf, but he has, yeah.

He seems like a body surfer. He can body surf. So he was just a waiter? I think, yeah, we were just kind of waiting, you know, just kind of chilling out. The waves were a little too tame for that. I don't know if you remember the last time I talked about seeing my dad at the beach

talking about his golf cart, but if you don't remember, it's this like gratuitously wrapped in sunset. It's actually the color scheme of the travel mug in a lot of ways. Like it's like if Jimmy Buffett vomited his feelings all over a golf cart. And then somebody wrote beach life in this weird font.

Now that's a good text. But the- On a golf cart, that's acceptable. So you don't remember this. The A in beach was such a weird font that it looked, if you squint your eyes just a little, not a lot, it looks like an L. So on at least three different places on his super,

like it looks like a four by four golf cart. Belch Life? Yes, it looks like it says Belch Life. Oh Belch Life. Belch. Belch Life, yeah. Wow, which is even better. It's kind of cool, yeah. So Belch Life is still going strong.

You get on Belch Life, you put your chairs there, and then you drive just a couple of short blocks. That might be better than Beach Life. To the beach. So that was definitely a highlight. Going to Christy's parents' house, driving down to Kinston. The last few times we've been down there,

they would always come up and visit us, so we hadn't been back home so that, to the point that at 11 years old, Lando had never been fishing with grandpa. So this was a first and Lando caught his first fish, a bass. In a lake. Yeah, in a pond. Pond. We went to a couple of ponds.

Lincoln caught a nice bass. I caught some fish too. Throw them back? We threw them back. But Lando, I was concerned about Lando's potential concern with the fish. For the fish. Because you were talking about how Adeline, your niece is so into fishing, she could probably teach Lando a thing or two.

I didn't know if he would wanna actually catch a fish, but he's reeling this fish in and he's like scared and thrilled and, but then he refuses to touch it. Refuses to, but I did get some photos of him like standing sheepishly behind the fish that grandpa was holding, but catching fish with granddad, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Like our game? Yeah, I'm not gonna playdad, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like our game. Yeah, I'm not gonna play it right now. But in real life. So that was another highlight. Was he upset with, because, you know, so when we fished at that trout pond and it was, you could not, it was against the rules to not keep the fish because that's the business.

They charge you by the poundage. Oh, this is a farm. Of trout that you walk away with. Okay. to not keep the fish because that's the business. They charge you by the poundage of trout that you walk away with. Okay. This is a private pond. And they give you a bucket to put the fish that you catch in. So it's, I mean, listen, growing up,

all kinds of fishing, all kinds of pulling hooks out of fish, all kinds of gutting fish, Like my relationship to, you know, killing and gutting and eating a fish was something that from a very early age I was okay with, but I've kind of removed from it at this point. And it was like, yeah, there was like a bucket of the trout that we had caught. And it's just like, I mean,

these trout are not doing well in this bucket. And then they're gonna be doing really bad when they get filleted and we take them home and eat them. So yeah, our kids don't have, I mean, Shepherd kind of like is kind of in his biology to just immediately kind of adjust to it and be like, this is awesome, we're catching fish. I was surprised at how well Lando did,

but he was concerned about the hook. I mean, I feel it because when I caught a couple of fish, you know, there was no discussion, but I was like, okay, grandpa, you're gonna be the one touching the fish. I'll be honest, I did not even touch the fish. Yeah, he gets it honest. I mean, grandpa had gloves on, which helps you, I guess, grip the fish

and protect yourself from hooking yourself. And I don't know what I'm doing. We were retelling that old story of like, when I hooked Lincoln in the back of the head when he was like six years old with grandpa. You remember that story? Yeah. So, I mean, that that that scared him. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is anime. Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime!

Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll

YouTube channel. Going to visit Nana was great. You remember when our studio was just a few blocks from Nana and Papa's house and she would always want us to come there for lunch and she would always make that meatloaf? Oh yeah. She insisted.

I was like, we'll just bring food. We don't want you to, you know. Last time I saw Nana, she didn't have a walker, you know, now she's got a walker and mentally she's sharp. And so it's always nice to like converse with her. And it's, so it's not, yeah, she's getting older and she's got a walker, but she's tenacious and she's sharp.

So it was, and the fact that I didn't want her to have to cook, but she insisted on it. And then she breaks out this, like that thin fried cornbread. And I almost forgot that existed. It's been so long since I've had some of that good fry bread and like my kids didn't know what it was. So that's another highlight is just,

you know, you get a sense now that every time you go home when it's once or twice a year with the oldest relatives and Nana is now the only remaining living grandma. Oh God, she could be almost 90. 89, I think. Yeah. She, you know, it's like, okay, she's giving us the gift of making a signature meal

and actually she made, and then we came in all the time and she insisted on making beef roast, another signature meal. And there's just sense that like, okay, I don't know how many more of these I have in me if you're only able to come once or twice a year, let's make this special. And it definitely was.

So there's this exercise of going home, seeing how everybody's aged a little bit more or in some cases a lot more and just cherishing what we've got, you know, knowing that nothing lasts forever. So that was a really sweet time. And I knew that it was kind of setting up for when I visited my mom and when I visited my aunt Vicki,

that that's when it was gonna, there was potential for things to get more heavy and for us to enter that head space and of like, okay, all good things must end at some point. Of course, you know, it was last July, like in 2020 when my nanny passed away and because of the circumstances of COVID in 2020 when my nanny passed away and because of the circumstances of COVID and because of Christy's personal health

and things we were dealing with at home, yeah, all of the factors came together. But even if you probably just isolated COVID, that would have been enough to prevent all of us or even me alone going back for the funeral. So I knew that when I, this will be the first time of going back into Nanny's house with since she's passed away.

And I knew that not much had changed in the house. Because Vicki hasn't been living. Well, yeah, I'll get to explain that in a minute. But I knew that, okay, this was potentially a really emotional moment for me because I didn't know how much would come up that I hadn't experienced. Because there's a level of it just,

experiencing the loss of Nanny, just I didn't know how much I'd processed it, how real it had felt because we were so isolated and separated and none of the traditional grief practices I was able to do. Like I kinda had to invent my own. And I think we talked about some of that last year, either in the year end or as it was happening.

I honestly can't remember. I know we talked about it at year end, but the mitigating factor or the other factor is, yeah, what you're saying, it's like now, my aunt Vicki lived with Nanny and took care of her for like her entire end of life. She was able to stay at home when they brought in, they brought in hospice at home.

She didn't have to go and stay at the hospital and die at the hospital. She was able to pass away at home. And a lot of that was due to the fact that like her youngest sister, Aunt Vicki, who had lived with her for over 50 years was there to take care of her. It's kind of amazing that like, okay,

there's nine siblings, Nanny is the oldest and then Aunt Vicki is the youngest. She's seven years older than my mom. So when Aunt Vicki is the youngest, she's seven years older than my mom. So when aunt Vicki was 21, she moved in with nanny and papa and my mom, who was, I guess it's 14. 14. There was an interesting dynamic there

that I never knew anything about. That's like, okay, now my aunt's living in the house. All I ever knew growing up from my youngest age was visiting Nanny and Papa in the house that is still the house that I went back to. Like my entire life, that was Nanny and her house, they were associated with each other. Nanny didn't have a license.

Like if she drove anywhere, she rode with Papa until he passed away in 1998. And then after that, it was just her and Vicki and Vicki would drive her everywhere. They worked at the same shirt factory in Lillington for like over like 30 years. Like inspecting shirts and putting on buttons and coming home and doing it again the next day.

When Nanny retired, that's when Vicki became the lunch lady, one of the lunch ladies at Triton High School. Which knowing Vicki was like the perfect move. You know, I've got a long and deep and loving relationship with Aunt Vicki. Like I was the closest thing she had to having never, you know, gotten married or had a partner

or dated much that I know of. It's like, but she had a grandson in me, you know? So we had a special relationship and as an only child, I was, you know, now it's this dynamic of me making sure that Aunt Vicki is taken care of. And then the state comes along and says, and there's been rumblings of this for years, but they say, we're going to,

your house is next to the highway, we're expanding the highway. And I saw, like my mom sent me the plans months ago. They're putting the highway basically through the house. Well, because the house was already very close to the existing road. Yeah. Yeah. So Nanny passed away,

then we hear that like these plans are definitely moving forward. Vicki is in mourning and taking this the worst because she is the absolute closest to Nanny for all of these years. And now like the place that harbors all of their shared experiences is being taken away from her. So it's like an additional level of sadness.

And so when I went home and we had encouraged Vicki to move in with another sister of hers that's nearby, Aunt Lynette, who we also love and see pretty often, but her husband had passed away a few years ago. So now she's kind of got an empty house and room for Vicki to go. So it's like, okay, this seems to be lining up. You're gonna have to move out of the house

so you can go ahead and start living with Aunt Lynette. But the way that she did it was she just moved like a minimal amount of stuff and then Vicki would just like come, a lot of times she'd just come back to the house during the day, to Nanny's house and just kind of be there. I think just like this prolonged mourning that letting go of the house is a painful exercise

associated with maybe letting go of the house is a painful exercise associated with maybe, you know, letting go and coming to grips with Nanny being gone. Right. I knew all of this, but that further complicated what I was stepping into. But I think that I had this image in my mind that I was gonna go into the house and have some time where I could just kind of process

and maybe shed a tear and just have a moment where I was going down memory lane and just having an exercise in mourning. Right. Unfortunately, that opportunity never really presented itself because there was a lot of work to be done on that front.

I think that I walked into the house and I asked Vicki and Lynette to meet me a little bit later. But when you tell old people to meet you somewhere, they always show up like an hour or two early. So they were already there. Cause I had set aside the entire afternoon and I was like, mom's gonna come over too. And I'm gonna see what we're up against here.

Cause we have to start organizing and moving this stuff out. Vicki, you need to move everything out that you need to live with Lynette. And then whatever you want, the special, and whatever mom wants that's special, we gotta start getting this stuff out of the house. So like, I kind of knew that I would have to step in and provide the leadership to work through this logistically

because as I'll talk about next, my mom's got so much on her plate, Vicki's going through so much and that I needed to make this happen. Is there like a date for when they're gonna like level the house? Not yet. I mean, they're appraising it

and they're supposed to give us an offer and then there'll be some sort of negotiation of how much they're gonna purchase the house and the land for and so we're gonna have to cross that bridge soon but I wanted Vicki to be in a comfortable space at Lynette's house with all of her stuff and not prolong this limbo. So I'm like, we're gonna put labels on things.

If you want stuff, we'll put a label on it and you don't have to move anything yet, but then we'll know what's labeled and with who wants it is gonna get it. And then whatever's left, I'll have to figure out how to get rid of that stuff with like an estate sale or something afterward. I've never done any of this stuff,

but I quickly realized I walk into the house and like, okay, we're in go mode. I gotta try to figure this out. I got a limited amount of time. And I'm trying to herd these cats that are my relatives. A couple of other relatives show up by the way, because I think once you start going through people's stuff. Labeling stuff.

Once you start labeling, Everybody's got a label maker. People gonna come out of the woodwork to see what they want. And you know what? It was totally fine. It was, you know, I think with a lot of families, this is where it gets to be a nightmare situation.

I had helped Nanny with her will. I actually think that getting the will in place was one of the things that was like keeping her holding on for as long as she did. She almost, she basically articulated that when I was talking to her, there was like six months leading up to her passing that we were getting all that in place.

The last time she left the house was to go and get the will straightened out. So because of that work that we'd all done, it made it, it wasn't painful, right? And it wasn't, there wasn't conflict, thank God. But still it was just the task was so difficult that you kind of had to keep your emotions, that there just wasn't room for that at that point.

And then I realized even after labeling stuff, I'm like, okay, I've got to find an entire other day to come back and actually box stuff up just for Aunt Vicki to move out. Like I literally have to move her out. So then I had, Christiany and I came back and, you know, it actually turned out to be a special time when we were like boxing up all of her stuff

and then getting movers to come and actually move all of it and going through her stuff. Something that could have been very painful. I think because it was kind of like, I was able to step in and love her in that way, that it made it a positive experience. You know, I felt like I was actually able to help. You know, there were times when she would break down crying

and I would be there for her and like we could encourage her. But when we were also getting this job done, like was a very tangible way to say, we have to move on and we're in this together and I'm here for you. So she didn't feel like she was being forced. Forced out. Well, I mean, and if she was, we can blame it on the state.

Yeah. Which is, it was actually kind of nice because I didn't want her to live alone. So that was, it wasn't as difficult as I thought and I, because it just couldn't be, you know? It had to be what it was. So maybe there's still some emotional work for me to do and I do think we had our moments

and mom and I had our moments and especially when you're going through and like I found some keepsakes, like when I was a little kid, some stuff that I, toys that I would play with, like a few of those things and like my granddad's, there was more stuff I found of him that I didn't find when he passed away,

like all of his deputy sheriff badges. Wow. I mean, he had one that's a belt buckle. I got a sheriff, I got an official sheriff buckle badge. And we're looking through old photos and like I'm taking some pictures of, digital pictures of old photos, because they're not my albums,

but I want like a version of it. But I mean, I definitely find myself thinking, wow, look at all these really old photos of all these people I will never know. And I don't know anything about their lives. I know that I'm distantly related to these people, but there's like a depressing angle to that. It's like all of these people.

I can't stand looking at old pictures because yeah, even old pictures of my family almost always end up with this like depressed feeling that that is in the past and I can't access it and it's just like life is moving too fast. I felt some of that and there was this, you know, there's this one photo of me in Nanny and Vicki's kitchen.

And I was probably one years old and I was dressed like Winnie the Pooh, meaning I was only wearing a shirt. Oh, okay. Like my ass cheeks. Wasn't a costume. I'm looking in the bottom cabinet that's like two feet off the ground and it's at eye level and my ass cheeks are hanging out.

And now I was going in that kitchen and we were boxing stuff up and nothing had changed. Like for all of those years, from the moment they built and decorated their kitchen with the red countertops and like strawberry wallpaper, like nothing ever changed except how big my ass cheeks got. Right, and you typically wear pants when opening fridges now.

But there was a sweetness to looking at photos of mom and like I found the bulletin or the brochure from when my mom and dad got married. Like it had their wedding vows in it and like the guest book. I was like looking through the guest book of like, because mom didn't keep that, but nanny kept it in the bottom of a chest.

And it was, so it was surreal. It's like, okay, I don't see anything of my parents being together, just maybe a couple of pictures. And here I am looking at like the newspaper article of their engagement announcement and their wedding day and looking at the wedding order of service and everybody who showed up.

But I don't know, it was the pictures of people that I didn't know that somehow in that moment felt more poignant to me. Like these people are long gone and I never knew anything about them. And it's like, what? You start to think things like, what difference does it make?

You know, it's like, there's a temptation to start thinking that type of stuff. You know, so there was a little bit of that, but I, and it's a little depressing to say, okay, and some of this stuff is just going in the trash. You know, some of the stuff that you kept for 50 years, these things on the wall, like, Aunt Vicki kept her shot glasses.

She has all, she never, she doesn't drink at all, but she collects shot glasses from everywhere that she visited. We kept all of those to move into Lynette's house, but it's, you know, death is a part of life. And also we're at an age where we're assuming the responsibilities of helping our aging relatives move into their next phase of life and death. I mean, and I think that mindset definitely continued

when I went to moms. You know, you know more about mom's situation, but I think it's a good time to, I'm ready to share more about the context of what mom's been dealing with just because we're processing it, we're wrapping our minds around it. I think our year end, our 2020 year end podcast, I alluded to the challenges that my mom was facing and how I wanted to be of support to her

and how that was a big factor. Of course, Rhett, you know, in 2019, in earlier 2019, mom and Louis visited, and then that's when the whole story of Louis like getting hospitalized and almost dying because of bleeding in his lower GI tract and he was on the verge of death multiple times and we were there.

I mean, I outlined that surreal experience of him being on the brink of death for the entire visit and wondering is he gonna make it and is he even gonna be able to go back home? But he got to a point in his recovery where he was able to fly home. And I think where we left the story at the time was he gets back home and he's doing good enough,

like he's grabbed his leaf blower and he's blowing off his carport and he's back in his own space and he's good, good, good. The sad thing that happened was within the next week or so, that's when he suffered a series of strokes and then was hospitalized. And if you fast forward to July,

that's when we went home to film us going back to Buies Creek to do that, like our homecoming mini series where we like associated with Bleak Creek, where we talked about like the inspiration for the novel and all that. And I remember every day we would shoot all day. We went swimming in the river,

but we went to all over Buies Creek. And then I remember every night the crew would hang out and I would leave as soon as we were done filming and I would drive to the hospital to visit mom who was at Louis's bedside because even those few months later, after having the strokes, he was now, at points he was on a ventilator

and he was near death again. Like I was visiting every night that I was there, knowing that he could pass at any minute. So it was kind of like a repeat of the whole thing. It was really scary and really sad. And he was, of course, he was not conscious for any of my visits. And I don't think my mom slept the entire time.

She was just basically in shambles, but, and then, but it was nice to be there at such a pivotal moment. Then just to fast forward through the entire next year and going through COVID and everything, basically it was just a series of coming to grips with the fact that what is, Louis is, he got out of the hospital, he made it out,

he made it home, he went through some therapy for his strokes and then he eventually left the therapy centers and then came home and you'd have therapists visiting and nurses visiting and over the course of the last, I guess, you know, two years, year and a half or more, the amount of external care has gone down as we've come to grips with what his life is going to be like from now on,

like his capacity. I don't know, when we visited him in Thanksgiving in 2019, he wasn't doing well, but he was at home. He was extremely skinny. It was like shocking to see him. And he wasn't very communicative. And it just felt like he was probably 10% of his former self.

And even since then, mom's come to grips with how he needs to be cared for and her being the primary caregiver for him and nurse for him to help him do basically everything he does. And that's been, so if you lay that experience So if you lay that experience over top of my description at the end of last year on the podcast,

if you can remember my descriptions then maybe it would shed more light on the depth of the challenge that we were facing and are facing. So it's been extremely frustrating to not physically be there with mom and just to have to be there for her over the phone. That was the dynamic that I believe I was describing at the time. So I knew that when we came home,

there's only so much you can learn over the phone, right? So I felt like I would learn a lot more being there and being able to spend an extended amount of time and observe the challenges that mom faces and bring fresh perspective to how I could suggest changes and start to look into how she might get more help. There's somebody that comes in, basically, a sitter who sits with Louis and make sure he's good to go

and okay, so mom can like run errands a number of times a week. I was encouraged when we went home that like Lewis, he'd gained his weight back and you know, he was able to call the kids by their names. Oh, wow. Which was very encouraging. And he doesn't, he only really speaks when spoken to

and he'll like answer, he can answer questions more yes or no. Are you hungry? Do you, that type of thing. He's not a conversationalist anymore. He doesn't, he can't use a phone anymore, much less a computer, you know, he, so it's really sad, but it's also very poignant to,

it was poignant to know it and hear it from mom, but then to see the level of commitment and care that she has for him, that like coming to grips with, this is what their life together is going to be like from here on out. It's not really gonna get better at this point. We pretty much know that. And we don't know exactly what a slow decline will look like, but I've drawn tremendous levels

of inspiration from my mom. First of all, always because of who she's been to me and the sacrifices that she's always made for me. But like this takes it to a new level. The fact that she does everything for him, you know, he can feed himself and he can get up out of bed and he can stand with a walker,

but usually she's moving him from a bed to a wheelchair. But just being willing to follow through on her commitment to take care of him, to be there in sickness, not only in health is in her attitude associated with it. I mean, my mom's, she's the sweetest person, but at a certain point, even the people with the sweetest hearts break.

And sometimes I feel like they're at risk of breaking the most because their hearts are so big. So I think that's been my fear for my mom is that because she's such a big hearted person that there's more of a risk of her experiencing that much more pain. And she clearly is going through what, I mean, an unimaginable level of pain

where she describes to me that it's like, she says, Link, there are times when I can still see, I can see the old Lewis, I can see it in his eyes. Like he comes back to me. It's almost like she's describing someone who has Alzheimer's even though he doesn't. It's just, that dynamic is at play with if stroke impacts certain areas of your brain.

And I was like, mom, how often does that happen? And she's like, well, maybe once every few weeks or a month, I'll see that glimpse, you know? And it's, she's able to take care of him at this particular stage. But the fact that her heart just as broken as I know it is, the fact that she's still able to exercise and live out loving her husband is,

I mean, I've never seen, I've never had the privilege of seeing that so up close. So I think, I knew it was gonna be difficult for that reason but it's a beautiful thing. And I, but it's a beautiful thing. I wanna memorialize this experience as actually a positive experience. And I'm glad to be able to say, okay, how can I help? We're still navigating through that,

but in figuring out practically if things need to change what those are, but you see how, I mean, it's one thing to look at pictures and have this existential dialogue with yourself of, does this even matter? But I think there's, I think that's the, my experience in seeing what my mom's going through

is kind of a, is the answer to that question for me. And, but it also puts me in a headspace of like, like I was saying with Aunt Vicki, we're getting to an age where we're gonna have to deal with this with eventually with our aging relatives, our parents too and starting to think about what's that gonna look like? But,

to think about, well, what's that gonna look like? But, you know, I mean, especially as an only child, you know, I feel like, okay, it's, I mean, it's gonna be on me. Christy has a sister, you got a brother. I mean, it doesn't, maybe in some ways it might complicate things. But I mean, do you think about that? I mean, it's still a little early to make plans,

but then when you're blindsided by what happens to Louis, of course, anything can happen at any time. And it's just, okay, these are decisions that we're gonna have to run point on for our families. I mean, I think about it quite a bit. I would say over the past few years, you know, I would say that for me, part of it was, I would say that for me, part of it was,

you know, my parents haven't dealt with significant debilitating health problems. But like even something as small, it wasn't small, it ended up being a big freaking deal for her, but like her breaking her ankle when we were in Scotland. Yeah. And then like, and being there during that time, but then I wasn't there during her recovery, you know, I was talking to her, staying in touch,

and I was talking to my dad. And like, he was transitioning into retiring, which actually literally like two weeks or so before we got to North Carolina, he had taken his keys to Campbell. Oh, really? To the law school for the last time, because he was doing some sort of like part-time stuff.

So he's literally like fully transitioned into retirement. And you know, you look at your parents and you're like, man, they're old. You know what I'm saying? Like the way that you perceive them and the way that they sort of present themselves physically, the way that they talk, you begin to be like, oh, I have elderly parents.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, and it's interesting, because I had a conversation with my dad about this aspect of how you perceive yourself getting old. And he was like, you know, cause my dad is a tough son of a bitch. You know what I'm saying?

He always has been and will do anything physically that you ask him to do. You know, he's 75 years old, but like when he was here a couple of years ago, like he walked all the way down the hill from my house to the main street. Yeah, I remember being surprised. And back with Shepard,

it's like this isn't something that typical people of that age do. Yeah. And like we play golf together. He was gonna go whitewater rafting with us, but he didn't because his back was a little bit messed up from golfing, because most McLaughlins really know how to swing it.

But he was talking about the, he's like, I still see myself as an 18 year old kid. I think that's important, you know, and until you do something stupid. Right, well, but the thing is, is that, but we were talking about that in relation to my mom's health, which is fine, but you know, she has a little bit of a different attitude.

I mean, for the past 10 Christmases or so, she'll throw out a, this could be my last Christmas. I'm like, mom, it could be anybody's last Christmas. You know, we all could die. But yeah, there's this, I think it's- It's a running joke with her. Yeah, when I just talked to my dad this morning, he just got back from the hospital,

had surgery for the first time in his life. McLaughlin's hate hospitals. And we don't like getting sick, so we don't get sick if we can't help it, right? Okay. We don't like getting hurt, so we don't get hurt if we can't help it. But he's been, he's had,

I'm sure I'm gonna be doing a podcast on this at some point, he's had kidney stones, and so has my brother, and they're like, it's only a matter of time. So they're like, they just can't wait till it happens to me because it's been so painful for them. But he went in and got the surgery where there were so many kidney stones in one kidney that they basically opened him up

and took them all out of one of his kidneys. And this just happened yesterday. And so, and then he just came home from the hospital. They let you keep him? Well, two days ago. Yeah, they gave him to you in a little bean bag and you play cornhole with it. So that's a no, I guess. No, I don't, well, I don't know,

you could probably get him. But, you know, I was just talking to him about being in the hospital and he was like, he's like, you know, it's no fun. And he's like this and he says, I'm not gonna do this again. He said, this is hard when you're 75 years old. You know, so I think that there's been a number of things

in the past few years that it begins to register that you're like, okay, these people are not gonna be around forever. And when you get to that stage in life, sometimes things happen like what happened with Louis, that suddenly your existence and the relationships that you have with everybody else changes dramatically. Like your mom's lifestyle has changed dramatically.

Yeah. My parents haven't experienced that. And I started to think like, well, it's, you know, if mom outlives Louis and then it's like, well, is she gonna come out to California and live with me? And like, we're not having, I mean, we have so much other stuff to talk about.

It's not like we're making those plans. We're not talking, we haven't had a discussion at all about that. But I started thinking about things like that. It's like, well, you know, but for older relatives, like I know for your mama Nell, she was in a nursing home that like, your parents could visit and like you,

I even visited mama Nell a couple of times. Like she seemed all right in there. Well, she liked to watch television. Okay. She basically, in the retirement home, she was doing exactly the same thing that I had only ever seen her do, except sans the whiskey and cigarettes.

She couldn't have whiskey in there? I don't think so. No smuggled? You had to go outside to smoke. Yeah. But in her house, she would sit in her chair and smoke cigarettes and drink whiskey and watch television.

In the retirement home, she would just watch television. So it probably wasn't as fun. But yeah, and you know, that was a long time ago and I don't remember it well. I remember, I do because my dad's also an only child, right? So I remember thinking like, oh, my dad has like, he's had to like do this. He's had to like take responsibility for his mom

because there was nobody else to do it, you know? She never lived at your house for any period of time, did she? No, it was literally like, you know, it was a place in Wellington, like halfway down the road from, it was like three minutes away. I know your dad jokes about coming

and living with you in sunny California, if he outlives Mama Di. Yeah, and he's probably, he's only half joking. But yeah, I mean, the thing I've been thinking about mostly with them at this point is, especially for my dad, because he's the one who's kind of transitioning from like having this daily routine of like being a professor

and now he's like retired and he's like, I mean, because when we were in the mountains together and I was like, all right, we gotta get up. We need to be on the road at like eight o'clock. And he's like, I guess I gotta get up early. He's like, I've been getting up at nine o'clock since I retired. So he's enjoying it.

He's like, and he gets up and he's like, I take my time. I go on a walk. So he's beginning to sort of figure out what his life is going to be. And I think it's only a matter of time before he gets a little stir crazy and has to do something. And it's always better if you are gonna do something. I mean, that's the thing I'm encouraged.

When we visited my dad, I was watching him closely because we're so much alike, like physically, like the way that our bodies are built and like, you know, it's, well, first of all, like, I don't know if anybody knows that my dad has a form of leukemia. He was diagnosed in, it was 2019, I believe he was diagnosed. It was lymphocytic leukemia.

He didn't have, he turns out he only has to take a pill and then he got his blood count straightened out and now he's been going in for checkups every six months and like he's actually doing great and it's very treatable. It can be managed. With just a pill, like he never did, had to do like chemo or radiation or,

I don't even know the ins and outs of the specifics of treating the typical leukemia, but it's a little different and he's taking a pill. So he's doing great. He still works. He still works on houses. He moved his entire business down to the beach, but he does it on his own terms

and he doesn't have a crew anymore, but he's active. And he's not, and he enjoys it. I think it's that level of engagement. I don't think he would, even though he's golfing more and he's on the beach a lot. And of course their main thing is still shagging the night away. Yep.

And that is a dance. It's a dance for those of you from England. But I'm like watching him closely and like, what is he able to do? And I was like, dad, you gotta, I noticed you got a limp and I'm like, oh crap, am I gonna get a limp? And he was like, I got, I was like, dad, you gotta, I noticed you got a limp. And I'm like, oh crap, am I gonna get a limp? And he was like, I got, I was working on something

and like a screw got caught in my thigh or something like that. It was like a barb or something. And then he's like, then we went on a trip to the mountains and it got swole up and I got infected. And I ended up having to go to the doctor and it sounded like one of those things where if you didn't get the infection treated,

it could have been bad and he was just getting over that. So other than that, which he's basically almost recovered from, like he typically doesn't have a limp and I'm like, okay, that's good. The limp is not normal. At his age, he's still, and he's still able to walk to the pizza shop when the kids at, like he made his signature ribs.

Then we made homemade peach ice cream. We each ate two bowls of this ice cream. We're like completely stuffed. And then Lily says, you know what I could go for right now? We're like a bed. It's like nine o'clock at night, 10 o'clock at night. And she's like pizza. And I laughed at her and like,

I just thought she said it was saying it. Maybe she was kind of serious, but she was just saying it as a joke. And the dad was like, well, we can walk two blocks that way and there's a pizza shop. And then Lily's like, do, we can walk two blocks that way and there's a pizza shop. And then Lily's like, do they sell it by the slice? He's like, of course they sell it by the slice. If you let me take a shower, we'll all walk over there, Jack.

Yeah. And Lily and Lincoln looked at each other like, is he serious? And it's like, okay, yeah, we're gonna walk a couple of miles here at like 1130 at night by the time everything shakes down at home and he takes a shower. And then so like we're going out there and we're getting pizza and he's moving and shaking.

Now, and this is something that if you're gonna become more like your dad as you get older, I think that that quality of 1130 pizza is not something that I associate with link meal that I know, right? That's coming from somewhere else, but you've got those genes, those genes to be flexible enough to,

first of all, be willing to go, but like I've eaten with your dad before, I get the impression that he's a bigger eater than you. He's not a, I'm a one plate man and I'm done. He's actually slowed his roll a little bit. Cause I'm like, dad, if you lost weight, he's like, I'm just, you know, I'm keeping it, I'm keeping it slim.

By the way, he did make it out of the pixelated woods. This story there was that they were like traveling and he kept wanting to set up these like, you were in these like beautiful places and for the 2000th episode greeting from him, I think he thought, this is a beautiful spot here in the woods, let's like. Let's use the flip phone and get a video.

Had a lot of trouble getting that thing sent. So it was. He's no longer. The file was degraded in transfer. It wasn't the phone capturing of him. He had to seriously compress that thing to get it to you. He said, I shot three different videos for y'all. And that was the best one. I love it.

I wouldn't want it to happen any other way. He made it out of the woods. And you know what? I'm encouraged, like, okay, so you know what? I can probably do even better than him. Like I can give more attention to my posture and to my workouts and. Well, and you know, he made the decision,

he made the decision to move to Myrtle Beach. Right. Because he wanted to. He wanted to dance. It wasn't a- The pizza shop was next to three different dance places. It wasn't like, man, I gotta go to Myrtle Beach for this job.

Right. It was like, you know what? I can move to Myrtle Beach. Like that is a thing that I could choose to do. And his wife is the kind of person that's just like, okay, let's do it. Well, no, she's like, I want this too. Guess who bought, you know how dad,

remember he had that like convertible banana yellow Corvette? Yeah. Even if you don't remember, you can immediately picture it. And he sold that years ago. Guess who has one now? Nancy's got a yellow Corvette.

Nancy bought one. Like a new one? Because the new Corvettes look like- No, it's an old one. They almost look like Ferraris. It's an old one. I don't know anything about sports cars, but I saw a new Corvette.

It's like a circa 90s. They don't look the same anymore. Hers is red. But yeah, it's like they are peas in a pod. I'm so happy for them. Find somebody who likes Corvettes and move to Myrtle Beach, if that's your thing. But one day I'm gonna have to figure out.

What's your Myrtle Beach? What kind of? What's your Corvette? But before that, I'm gonna figure out how does my dad need to be cared for? It's like Nana's gonna need to know how to be cared for and I'm gonna observe what Aunt Teecy and dad decide there and how that plays out.

But it's like, okay, I gotta see, one of these days I'm gonna have to make sure that he's taken care of, you know, and it's like, man, we're really that old that we gotta start figuring that stuff out. Yep. But I mean, plenty of people have done it before us. It's just, you find the right people to talk to and I think we can figure it out, but it's sobering.

It was so, just in summary, I think this was a, it was a sobering trip. It was a, it was, you know, when an ambassador visits somewhere, it's called a something trip, whatever that's called. It felt like that. It felt like I was, you know, I had a few missions that I needed to accomplish

in addition to just loving and being loved on. But I mean, that was the part of it that made it all worthwhile was the fact that we do love each other and warts and all, aging and all, challenges and all. So it was difficult. I wouldn't call it a vacation. I would call it more of a reconnaissance mission.

But using that criteria, it was a success and I'm grateful to do it. And I think coming back home, the things that really made it feel worthwhile was when we would make inside jokes about family members. The kids would be making inside jokes about their grandparents and their great grandma and the food that we ate and the funny things

that grandpa says because he intentionally mispronounces way too many words. And it becomes a part of our conversation back home. It's like, okay, the kids have reconnected with their relatives and it means something to them. And so one day when they're looking at photos of relatives long past, it won't be like, who are these people and does it even matter?

Instead they'd be like, I know those people and maybe I only got to see them a couple of times a year, but I love them and they enriched my life and it was an honor to know these older people who I'm related to, you know? And I miss not giving them that gift on a weekly basis by living in the same county or the same state, but it was a good reminder that those connections

can still be special and they can be meaningful long-term. Well, thanks for telling us about it. I'm gonna recommend something that I talked about last week that I think is just fitting with what we've talked about today. Do it. You know, I talked about those four different documentaries

or specials to watch, but the one documentary, Some Kind of Heaven. You didn't say that one last week. You did. Some Kind of Heaven? Yeah, I can't remember. You said in and of itself, but you didn't say. No, I said inside, in and of itself,

Some Kind of Heaven, and then Tell Me Who I Am. Oh, okay. Some Kind of Heaven, again, is a documentary sort of in an Errol Morris kind of fashion. Oh, that's the retirement home. And it's the village's retirement community in Florida, which is the largest retirement community. It's a large city, over 150,000 people live there.

Maybe that's where I'm gonna send all my relatives. Well, first of all, so we watched it with my brother and sister-in-law and then Lance and Lacey and then after that on the group chat that we had for that group, for the vacation group, Lance or Lacey sends a text to the thread and is like, you can actually go spend a week or spend as much time as you want really

as like a trial package at the villages. It's like 150 bucks a night or something like that. And you go and it's the people who wanna go vacation there to see if this is where they wanna go. And we were talking about all going on a vacation to the villages. Oh my gosh. Like now as you know, mid 40s year olds.

But I thought, okay. But I thought you watched documentary and wouldn't want to visit. No, so I mean, there's a little bit of both. It's a great film because it is a very honest look at the people and what it's like to be at that stage in your life. You know, there's loss and there's love.

And I think that for some people, it feels like it's an incredible choice. And just the things that like, you know, things that were like kind of obvious to be like, oh yeah, like when, these are the kinds of things that happen in a retirement community. Now, a retirement home is a very different thing,

like where Mom and Elle was, versus a retirement community, which is like, these people are constantly doing all kinds of shit. And it's just a really well done film. It'll make you think about yourself getting older and what you want your life to be like and how you want your life to end. You know what I'm saying?

Like if you wanna end well. Well, since I'm in the head space, I might as well go all the way and watch this film. So I recommend it. Some Kind of Heaven, I'm 98% sure that's the name of it. And I can't remember which one of the streaming services it's on, but I'm sure you can get it. Just Google it and figure out where to watch it.

All right, hashtag Belch life. I mean, Ear Biscuits, let us know what you think. And we'll talk at you next week.