Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Looking Back: Rhett's Proposal Story

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

ICYMI, this throwback to Rhett explaining how he proposed to his wife also includes Rhett driving Link crazy by wearing sunglasses the entire time, Link's strange obsession with collecting brochures, and reveal their take on aliens, plus other bizarre AMA-related confessions. Originally aired 5/21/2018. If you want new episodes, be sure to follow Dispatches From Myrtle Beach, Link's new podcast with his dad! Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts! Don't miss the biggest Mythical live event of the year! Visit MythiConTickets.com for more info! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Ramble. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time.

I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're giving you a throwback episode because I mean, we're on vacation. Yes. But we just wanted to give you an episode in your feed so you could keep that routine of listening to us.

Cause that's important to us that you keep that weekly routine of getting up on your ear biscuit, okay? And maybe you haven't heard this. Maybe you had and you need to be refreshed. This is our 144th episode ever. It was a AMA that stands for ask me or us anything. And we talked about a lot of things. I talked a lot about my specific proposal story to Jesse,

which was a bit of an elaborate thing that I orchestrated. So I go into all the details about that and you can see just how romantic I was. I talked about my brochure collection so you can see how romantic I was. Yeah, right. Uh-huh. We also talked about zoos, aliens, massage.

And I wore sunglasses during the entire recording. You may not be able to hear that. We can't tell them everything. Just want you to know, I got sunglasses on the whole time. And yeah, so go down memory lane. Maybe you'll remember that you did listen to it. And you know what?

We got a fresh new podcast. Yes. Dispatches from Myrtle Beach comes out every Thursday and those are brand new. So if you want something that's not a throwback, I understand. You can get in on my conversation with my dad. Dispatches from Myrtle Beach,

go ahead and subscribe to that. It comes out every Thursday. But please enjoy this episode of Ear Biscuits. We're going to be answering your questions about anything. Thank you for submitting those questions. Oh yeah, I love it when you guys give us stuff to talk about too. We've got some introspective questions.

We've also got some stuff that kinda might take us back. Gonna get a good story out of you related to your personal life. My personal wife. You're making it public. Yeah, I'm making my wife public. Rhett's married. And I'm just gonna give a warning.

We should give them a warning that you may pick up on a different vibe from this ear biscuit. Don't tell them, see if they can figure it out. There's no way they can figure it out. There's just a tremendous amount of tension between Rhett and I this morning. You can cut it with your finger.

You know, if you say you cut it with a knife, well you can cut things with a knife, but if you could cut something with your finger, then it must be soft. That's just not coming together, is it? Your nail is not working. There is no tension between the tall one and I. No, it has something to do with this conversation happening

fresh off the car. It's the morning. It's the morning. I mean, you could have just said. I could have just come out and said it. We're. It's the morning. It's the morning. I mean, boy, I really have a hard time just, I could've just come out and said it. We're recording this in the morning and we've never done that. This is a morning ear biscuit,

which seems appropriate considering that it's a biscuit. I mean, I think biscuits are great any time of day, but I think traditionally they are enjoyed in the morning. We're just changing it up, just, you know. Well, we have a little bit more flexibility in our schedule with the summertime situation. But you let us know if you want us to tell you when we're recording because, no don't tell us that.

I feel like I have a little morning face for the video watchers. I mean, but you've already, I mean you've been up for a while. I got up early, you got up early, you went, I'm sure you went to the gym, I went to the gym. You sure? Oh thank you for being sure that I went to the gym. I actually did, went to the gym. I went to the gym. Oh thank you for being sure that I went to the gym.

I actually did. Yeah I went to the gym. What time did you get up? 5.45. I got up at 5.30. Oh. But I woke up at five. I'm waking up before my alarm.

Like I think this is becoming my talent. Like whenever I set my alarm because it's not the same every day. Like some days it's 5.20, some days it's 530, some days it's 630. And I'll wake up before the alarm, each, no matter what time it is. You said half an hour early.

That's not good timing. I mean, sometimes I'll be like, I'll wake up, it'll be 525 and I'm supposed to get up at 5.30. I think it's just luck. And that feels good but if I wake up a half hour, I'm like oh man, now I've got that weird thing that's gonna happen where I look at the clock, I don't have to get up for another 30 minutes,

I'm gonna go back to sleep but it's not gonna be good sleep. That's what happened to me this morning. Because now I'm thinking about, ah, I'm gonna get into this nice cocoon spot and then the alarm's gonna go off. Right, right. I don't wanna do that, I'm gonna get into this nice cocoon spot and then the alarm's gonna go off. Right, right. I don't wanna do that. I should just get up. Yeah, 20 to 30 minutes is just enough time

to get really deep into a sleep. I mean, that's the worst amount of time to wake up before your alarm and not get up. Because A, who gets up before their alarm? That's stupid. Why would you do that? Then I'm gonna sit on the couch and then fall asleep sitting up because I'm gonna sit on the couch and then fall asleep sitting up

because I'm not getting ready. What? You're telling me that if you wake up early, you go and sit on the couch and wait until the allotted time to get ready? I've done that before, yeah. I said, well, I'm gonna do everything out of order. I'll make a coffee and I'll sit here.

I got 20 minutes, I could drink a coffee. You're telling me that if you get up early, you don't just start the same routine, it's just a little bit early. I only did it once and clearly- That was a mistake. I did it wrong. I mean- Okay, I apologize. But you of all people, as routine oriented as you are,

I would, you can't change it up just because you get up early. No, I didn't, see, I didn't. I got up. You waited until the allotted time. Right, which is the routine. So I kept the routine and that was my problem. I think you should have kept the order and then you would just have more time on the back end. Are you saying that the gym opens at a certain time

and then you've got this space and you gotta fill it with something? Well there are classes. So I hate showing up to the gym way early and there's like this awkward, I'm there with the other class before they're done. But to get up out of your bed and sit on the couch and wait.

I only did it once. I mean, and I fell back asleep and I didn't go anywhere. Did your wife know? She's like, she wakes up in the morning and her husband's strangely sort of just sitting next to the bed. Oh no, I didn't just move over to the, we have a couch in our bedroom because that's how we roll.

I ain't talking about that couch, I went downstairs. And I sat on like a lonesome couch, fell asleep. Okay, makes even less sense. But usually, if I wake up that much before my alarm clock, I'll go back to sleep. But before I go to sleep, I convince myself that I'm not gonna get up at all. It's like if you give me 10 minutes or 15 minutes in my brain to like battle out whether I'm gonna get up at all. It's like if you give me 10 minutes or 15 minutes

in my brain to like battle out whether I'm gonna get up or not, I will not get up. That's called the resistance. Right, the resistance. I just have to get up mindlessly. Do you snooze? I can't engage my brain before I get out of bed. Do you ever snooze?

No. Because that doesn't work for me. So what happens if you snooze? Well I miss the gym, so snoozing is not an option. No, under any circumstances. Would you, if you didn't have somewhere to be. Yeah I snooze. I'm not that weird.

Well, you think I'm a weird guy or something? Snooze is part of the time that I have allotted. Like, it's part of your game. Two snoozes is technically part of the time. Every morning? No, I don't do it every morning, but I have two snoozes to use. But what about Jessie?

She's in the bed, is she already awake? She gets up, she's early too. I mean, she gets up about the same time. So there's like a combination of four alarms going off when you count both of you snoozing? No, because we have a white noise machine that plays at a very significant volume. Sounds racist.

Okay, well you can do pink noise as well. Seriously, what's pink noise? I'm not real sure. And there's also brown noise, so really everybody's covered. There really is. There's brown noise, pink noise, and white noise? It just has to do with the mix of frequencies.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You should have brought that up. It was just a joke. But it actually, not a sponsor, and it won't help anyway, because I don't remember the name of it, but it's this little octagon that has like 16 different fan sounds and then 16 different basically like fuzz,

like you know, frequency sounds. Okay. And so, and it's pretty bassy and it fires the sound up to the ceiling so it kind of spreads it around the room. Hold on, it fires the sound up so it's emanating from a place of a fan? No, it's emanating from everywhere. It feels like it's inside your head.

Why do you know, you have one? Yes. Oh, that's the one you have. Yeah, I thought that's what I said. No, I thought you just said there is this thing. I didn't know that you had it. No, this isn't one I use. I'm a super light sleeper.

It's an octagon. It's pretty small though. I'm a super light sleeper, so my- octagon. It's pretty small though. I'm a super light sleeper. So my- You could just have a fan, by the way. No, no. Because then you also have a breeze. Because then that blows air.

What if I don't want the air on me at that particular moment? What if it's a little bit cold? You're not an airman? I pegged you as an airman. I have a ceiling fan as well. If I want that, I'll turn that on. Whoa, you got it covered.

But my mom has always slept with a fan. She also sleeps with my dad. But she has a fan that. Is it like your mom, a fan, and your dad? Or is it a fan, your mom, and your dad? The fan's not in the bed, the fan is elsewhere. But I remember going in there, it was like freaking going into like a helipad.

Growing up. Like where a helicopter was constantly landing. My mom ran that fan so loud, you could hear it when they turn it on at night, it was just like. It was like top. It sounds like there's a baseball card stuck in the fan. It could have been gas powered.

I don't know how they got such a loud fan. All I know is when you went in there at night. If you had a gas powered fan in there, that's dangerous. If you had to go get their attention at night, like you had to knock on the door, but you had to like bang on the door, and then when you went in there, it was like speaking to someone in the middle of combat.

It's like, Mom! My foot fell asleep! I'm sorry, but I got news for you, man. You need to just rerun this whole experience through your mind and realize that the fan was not to help them to sleep, but it was for something else. It was dual purpose.

I do believe that it was to cover things. To cover things that might be happening. But also, my mom has always had a ringing in her ears, and so it was a way to, I guess they call that tinnitus? What do they call it? Tetanus. Yeah, tinnitus. She has a tetanus infection.

Tinnitus. So she needed that to go to sleep. I need it because I'm such a light sleeper. I literally will wake up if one of the children just kinda rolls over in the next room and just makes a noise, they don't even have to yell for us. Even with the white noise machine on,

a lot of times I'm like, Jessie, Shepherd is yelling for you right now. She doesn't know, so she doesn't wake up when my alarm, my phone goes off on my side of the bed. It's like, but any little thing that breaks me out of the white noise, in fact, the other night, did the power go off at your house? No.

In the middle of the night? We live pretty close to each other, so I looked out and saw all the other houses were dark too, so. Anyway, when the white noise went off, I woke up. Like that's how sensitive I am. Oh wow. So it's the absence of white noise that almost shocked me. There's gotta be an analogy there somewhere.

Well, I'm great with those, so I'm sure I can come up with one. Yeah, yeah. But you use the white noise setting, not a simulated fan setting or like a helicopter like your mom. I've used it quite, I've, I've, I've. You mix it up?

I've done a lot of different things. And Jessie doesn't care. No, she likes it. She likes it. I mean, I think ultimately all people could benefit from white noise. I also think it's a little bit of a crutch. So if you don't, if you don't need one.

Right, it's kinda like. If you don't need, so now when I travel, I have a white noise app. I'll demonstrate. You're gonna demonstrate it? Yeah. There it is, it's one of the ones that comes up because I. What's the app called?

Not a sponsor. I don't know. This is stream water flowing. This is the best I can get on this app, because it was free. So I listen to this all night, if I'm traveling. I mean, I wouldn't call that flowing, I'd call that gushing.

Yeah, it's all the way up, man. This is a, I mean, because you can go through some other things, like a. Ooh, that's, ooh. That makes me want to pee everywhere. I know, gosh. This is a cat purring. I hate that sound.

Put it up to the mic. I want to hate that sound. Put it up to the mic. I wanna kill that thing. It actually sounds like a cat purring in the foreground but someone with a weed whacker in the background. Can you imagine the crazy person that needs this to sleep? Okay. Well, you're only saying that because of your love for cats. Crickets.

That doesn't sound like crickets, it sounds like a ringwraith breathing. Yeah, that's horrible. You're holding it too close to the mic, it's crazy. Okay. Frogs. That's creepy, man. It's like, I would dream about frogs crawling on me.

Yeah, bad, it's like a plague. Air conditioner. That's not bad. An industrial air conditioner. I've never gotten this deep, I might use this one. What if we just record some like Link making mouth noises? Go to sleep. How crazy is this one?

A freaking grandfather clock. One time I tried to sleep at my Aunt Helen's house. Mama Nell's sister, still alive, she's like 95 years old. Helen, yes. She had a grandfather clock and I was trying to sleep in the living room. I could not go to sleep. It was like a horror movie.

Cause it's not a constant sound, it's just like that. Well, it's on a rhythm, it is a pendulum. I couldn't sleep, it drove me nuts. I was also in a recliner. Yeah, that's tough. Anyway, that's how I get things done. See, we're fresh out of that this morning. Yep.

Having a morning biscuit. Fresh out the oven. Summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken Parmesan delivered.

A cabana, that's a no, but a banana, that's a yes that's a yes a nice tan sorry nope but a box fan happily yes a day of sunshine no a box of fine wines yes uber eats can definitely get you that get almost almost anything delivered with uber eats order now alcohol and select markets product availability may vary by regency app for details. Okay, let's get to some questions here from you. We posted a prompt on Facebook and Twitter, so make sure you're following us there if you wanna get in on this. Rachel Deal. You want me to take my glasses off?

No. Okay. I recognize your name, Rachel. If I were a splurgy type of person, I'd hire a maid once a month, because chores suck. What is one thing that you would like to splurge on more often,

and why don't you do it? Hmm, okay. I know, there's something that I've started to splurge on, and then there's a whole other level of splurge that I am flirting with. You're flirting with the splurge? I've started splurging on more regular massages. I think many times over the course of conversations,

I've brought this up because I never hesitate to big up a massage. And I think we talked about this on the show, but our schedules are on each other's calendar. And so when you have a massage scheduled, I see it on my calendar and you schedule a lot of massages. And sometimes because I've got my Apple CarPlay situation, I get in my car and it thinks that I'm you

wanting to go get a massage and it begins navigating to your massage. Sooner or later, I'm gonna show up and get in line. No, you can watch. I would not care. Like, I don't care. If I'm getting a massage, anything else can be going on. It won't matter.

But what if I'm the one getting the massage and you're watching? That's not good. No, that's not good at all. That's what I'm talking about doing. I mean, you talked about going to gym. I try to get up with my alarm without snoozing and then going to the gym three,

or my goal is really four times a week. And I really don't feel good about myself if I only go twice. And it has nothing to do physically, it's just emotionally because I've set this standard. But it's mood enhancing. Oh, absolutely. It's totally mood enhancing.

I mean, of course, everything is great about it except when I get injured and when I get really sore but I basically get sore every week. I don't know, I guess that's a good sign is like if you continue to work out and you continue to get, if you stop getting sore, it means you're not working out hard enough. It's because the people at your gym

have designed the workouts to continue to confuse your muscles. Muscle confusion is the name of the game and they know it at that gym. I used to go to your gym until I got injured, so I don't do it anymore. Meaning your back got strained. But my muscles were confused in all the best ways.

So what I'm saying is, yeah, you've noticed that your calendar has a lot of my massages on it because I put more as an incentive, A, I need them. Like my muscles get knotted up and so I get very intense massages in order to be able to go to the gym the next week. But psychologically, I also consider it a reward. Like if you go to the gym the next week. But psychologically, I also consider it a reward. Like if you go to the gym your four times,

if you meet your goal, then you've earned the right to get a massage and pay probably way too much money for a massage. And man, my pain tolerance has gone up so much because I just get the masseuse to go for it. But I digress. My splurge would be taking it to the next level because yeah, I'm already splurging.

Like every other week, my goal being every week, I wanna get a massage. My goal being every week. But my splurge would be to hire a personal masseuse. Do you mean a person who that's their only job is to massage you or do you mean that they just come to the office or wherever you're at? Well I thought that they would come to the house

and maybe give me a massage, give Christy a massage. Even Lily, I think because of her back. It's a one year anniversary of her back fusion, by the way, and she's doing fabulous. As of the recording of this, we're celebrating today, right now, she was in surgery one year ago. Did you have something special for breakfast? No.

We had a special discussion about it. Like we commemorated it conversationally. I don't know what kind of breakfast you would have had. You made me feel a little guilty all of a sudden. Well you made it sound like it was, I mean it is a big deal but I thought you were about to say. Right but we didn't do anything. There weren't cupcakes for breakfast.

We had a spine cake for breakfast. But so splurging would be, even so I started thinking about that but you gotta find the right person, for a spine cake for breakfast. But so splurging would be even, so I started thinking about that, but you gotta find the right person, somebody that's really good. And then beyond that, I've started to think, if I found that person and I hired them to like show up

at where I'm at instead of me going to them, even a step further is just having that person on staff, just literally someone following me around is giving me a massage in increments throughout the day. Can't you over massage though? I mean, is there such a thing? Well, I'd love to have to experience that and be able to answer that firsthand.

Your muscles become like veal? You know what, I'm too tenderized. Right. I would like to become a tender person. That's what I wanna do. I want to push the limits of human tenderization. But I do. But it would be so ridiculous.

I know it sounds ridiculous having somebody, because I am not the type of person, I actually, I don't like massaging people that I know or being massaged by people I know. I don't like that. I don't like this like, oh, I'm gonna go up behind somebody, like a friend of mine,

I've never massaged your back. You know, there's some people who are like- Or maybe for a video. They'll come up behind you and like massage your back. Yeah, I'm not into that. And especially nowadays, you gotta watch that. Can't be just going up and massaging people. Well, yeah, I don't feel like it's appropriate.

But I mean, even back in like- I mean, it's gotta be with consent. But usually it's not, usually it's just like, oh, I'm being massaged. Yeah, but those weird, it's just a weird instinct from some people. There are certain people who are massagers. And they should be masseuses.

And then if they're on the payroll for that, then okay, it's all legit. And it's like, why is in every meeting, I just want someone massaging me while I'm in meetings. Like how? Yeah, you don't wanna be that guy though. You have to think about the social impact. Yeah, that would be bad.

Because if you become a tenderized person that is constantly being massaged, now you've created a social awkwardness with all your interactions. You're right. These are things that gotta be done in secret. And I am- It's not secret, but in private. Secret massages. And I am suspicious of becoming too tender.

So what's your splurge? First of all, I am a splurgy person. Yeah. Splurgy could be my middle name. And so I am very often buying things for myself. But I think that the most, I think this is not a position that exists, but I would hire a hobby, hobby trier.

Let me explain what this is. This is your, because sometimes I'm like, you know what? A hobby trier. Let me explain what this is. This is your, because sometimes I'm like, you know what? A hobby trier. Like I'd like to paint. You know, I'd like to paint. I wonder what painting is like. Well, I'd like to go home one day and the hobby trier would be there.

He or she would say, welcome home. Today you're gonna try painting. I've got everything you need. You know what I'm saying? So you don't want someone to test the waters for you, like welcome home, I've been painting all day, I'm gonna tell you what it was like. No, it's not like the person

who tests the food for the king. What was that person? The cup bearer. The cup bearer, it's not a cup bearer, it's not a hobby bearer. It's a hobby introducerer. It's somebody who is like, I've got all the equipment, here it is, I've done a little research and go for it. You've got one hour to see if you like this hobby.

I'm gonna return all the paints you don't open, whatever. Because I'm always thinking about things I'm gonna try, but you gotta like go to like Joanne's to really, you know, you gotta spend half a day at Joanne's just to be ready for it. But isn't a big thing for you actually, it's all at Joanne's by the way. Discovery and the spending of the money

that is part of it for you or are you saying you don't like that part? You just wanna get into it. I mean, I don't mind the spending of the money but I don't think that that's what I am. I get into things and then I buy the things that you need to accompany the experience. But a lot of times because I just kind of

piecemeal it together, I need like a, I need a hobby introducer. Somebody should invent that and be awesome business card too. Anyway, I'd pay for that if that existed. Hobby Introducerer. That's not a good name. They're not an expert in anything.

Hobby, Hobby Guide. Just giveitashot.com. No, not shot. Give it a try. Give it a whirl. A whirl. A whirl is pretty limiting. Give it a whirl.

But in general, I'm already a splurger, so I probably don't even need to do that. Here's another question though, from Meg Manuel. Manuel, but I like to say Manuel. You're wrong, but go ahead. I have a not so called simple question. Okay. For you two, if you had a chance to use anything

or become anyone in the world or the impossible, what would it be and why? If we had a chance to become the impossible, what would it be? I don't know what that. Use anything or become anyone in the world or the impossible. Basically you could do anything

and it doesn't have to be limited to what's possible, I guess. The thing that intrigues me is the, if you had a chance to use anything because I immediately think about that wave pool in Austin, Texas that you were showing me on your phone. Who was that, Kelly Slater? I think Kelly Slater is-

The surfer, the professional surfer? Is involved, if not, and he did it, or he's got another one, I don't know all the facts. It's a big freaking, I mean, I would say wave pool, but- Can you look up the name of that, Jacob? You're starting to think that. What would you call it?

Would you call it automatic wave machine Austin, Texas? Just search that and see what it's called. Don't think about like a water park wave pool when there's like all these people on floaties and then a horn sounds at Emerald Point or whatever your water park is called. And it's not a standing wave like on a cruise ship. It's not a wave pool like at the water park

and it's not a standing wave that you see on a cruise ship where it's just going the whole time, which that also looks fun. This is a freaking huge pool like giant lake. As big, I think it's as big as a football field is what it looked like. Could be bigger. Picture right down the center line of the football field,

not the halfway point, what's that called? Midfield? Midfield, but bisecting the length from goal post to goal post. And there's some sort of robotic apparatus that then travels from one end to the other and seems to create a wave that then you can surf on either side.

So a right and a left. A right and a left at the same time. And it's a perfectly formed, I mean they can manipulate the wave, but it's a perfect tube. And I wanna use that anything. We gots to go there, man. Let's just go there this summer. What is the name of it?

Inland Surf Park. Inland Surf Park. Inland Surf Park in Austin or outside of Austin. Gotta do that, man. I bet those Dude Perfect guys have been there. They do everything, don't they? They're over there in Texas just doing stuff. Yeah, in their big old warehouse.

I love LA though, I'm not gonna dog it. I mean, we have a wave pool too, it's called the Pacific Ocean. Yep. But it's very finicky. Unpredictable and cold. It's so finicky. And if it rains, you can't go in it for like a week.

72 hours is the recommended delay. Because all of the runoff from the Los Angeles streets and whatnot go into the ocean, I mean it just goes into the ocean, it's just runoff. Yeah. And then you're sitting in there and you don't think you're drinking it, but you're drinking it. It's getting into you. Your skin is drinking it.

You're digesting at least an ounce of that water every time you go in it. Course who knows what they put in that Austin pool. Probably just barbecue sauce. Cowboy piss. Yeah, a mix of those two things. But I'm a little afraid, I mean, we could easily make plans to go there.

I mean, it ain't that hard. It's not like the other thing I was gonna say, which was. Is your personal masseuse coming? Because that's an extra ticket. Well, that's on me, stay out of it. He ain't masseusing you. Oh, it's a man. Yeah, it's a man.

Do you have an opinion? Are George Cost's a man. Do you have an opinion? Are you George Costanza situation here? Do you have an opinion about the? All I care about is skills. Okay. So I don't care if it's a man or a woman. I just want skills. And I've partaked of both.

It doesn't matter to me. It's like a sports deep tissue massage thing. There's nothing weird about it and I'm completely naked but there's a sheet and they know what to do with the sheet and it's. Keep it on you, hopefully. I'm no different than LeBron James. I work out and then I go and I get pounded on.

I could make a list of the differences. Well, when it comes to getting a sports massage, there's no difference. I mean, imagine how much longer it would take. I get a 90 minute massage and I'm like, dang it, this is getting too short. I will not get a 60 minute anymore. Like I'm such a spoiled brat when it comes to massages.

But if you're like, how tall is, think about how big LeBron James is. Or and there's bigger people than him. That's true. Imagine how long it would take to give them a proper sports massage. I mean you're talking four hours. Are you saying because they have more muscles?

Yeah, like I've got dinky muscles and it's like. I don't think that it increases the time. It absolutely has to. I don't think it it increases the time. It absolutely has to. I don't think it's proportional to the muscle mass. Of course it is, I mean and. You think that Lebron James. Lebron James deltoid is as big as my head. I guarantee you Lebron James does not get four hour

massages, I could text him right now. I got his number. I bet you he's got three people on him. I don't have his number, I have a fake Lebron James that I follow on Twitter. Just a fan account. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure?

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That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. The other thing I was going to say I wanted to use was I wanna pilot the boring machine that Elon Musk has invented. I want to be the guy behind the whip like boring into the ground and making tunnels.

Seems boring. I don't wanna do it professionally, I wanna do it once. Let's do the wave machine. Because that's a realistic goal. And it's do the wave machine. That's a, because that's a realistic goal. And it's in Texas, man. It's not like it's on the other side of the world. Right. Okay.

Maybe they'll invite us there. We can make a video out of it. Well that was the whole point, I guess, why I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to. Inland, we mentioned them all. Kelly, come on Kelly. And then they're like,

oh we should invite Rhett and Link down. Let us know. That was really the whole ploy. See what happens. Okay, many people said that they wanted to hear my proposal story because we heard your proposal story and we might have said. Right, even this one's from Tamara Jackson says

that we got links in a Good Mythical More. So. Oh that's where it was. You can track down the Good Mythical More where I give my proposal story which has its, it has more than its share of uncalculated mishaps. User errors. Left turns, user errors, and hijinks.

But ended in a good way. It still took in spite of everything I did to contribute to engagement. Okay, I'm gonna do this quickly because there's pieces to it. The very first time we ever really got to know each other was while sitting on a bench at Macaroni Grill in Cary, North Carolina, waiting for Jessie

to meet a locksmith because she had locked her keys in her car the night before. And not with you. She was not with me the night before. In fact, I had only talked to her one time. However, I went to like a pool party at her parents' house that my parents were at and my brother was at and everyone was like trying to get us together, right?

So like my sister-in-law was like trying to get us together. My mom wanted to, everybody wanted to get us together. Yeah, and so, and you should explain a little bit more of the dynamic of how everybody knew each other, but how you didn't know her. Well, her dad was my dentist growing up. So I knew him and knew that he had, I vaguely knew that he had daughters.

But then my family and her family started going to church together. And so that's how I actually got to know her. But you were in college, you were a sophomore, right? Yeah, I was in college and she was a senior in high school. Yeah. So anyway, I found out that she was a senior in high school and I was like, well.

At this party? No, I found out about that before, like when, because when I met her and I talked to her and I liked her and then like at the end of the conversation I find out, or later I'm talking to somebody else and they're like, yeah, she's a senior in high school. I'm like, oh no, no, I'm in college, man, no. And so anyway. And I was like, go for it. No, you so anyway. And I was like, go for it.

No you weren't. Don't worry, just see what happens. And so I basically made up my mind that I was like, okay, well I can't date this girl, she's in high school. And, but when I go to this pool thing at her parents' house, I was kinda going because I knew she was gonna be there. So it was one of these things that's like, I like this girl, I can't date her,

but I kinda wanna know her because she will be in college one day, you know? And so I'm like talking to her at this thing and then she's like, well, I gotta go, I locked my keys in my car last night up at the Macaroni Grill in Cary. And then Teresa, my sister-in-law,'s like, well, I gotta go, I locked my keys in my car last night up at the Macaroni Grill in Cary. And then Teresa, my sister-in-law, is like, well, Rhett, why don't you take her up there?

Why don't you drive her up there? That was Teresa? Mm-hmm. And then my- That's very Teresa. Yeah, definitely. But the keys thing is very Jesse. It's like I love the fact that like.

Yeah, we have a personal locksmith. We don't have a personal masseuse in my house. We have a personal locksmith. We have like two locksmiths on speed dial. Okay, yeah. You know. And so this is the, what you're saying is this is the beginning

of your relationship and I just think it's so poetic that this is how it began. So we drive up there from Fuquay to Cary, you know, 25 minute car ride. And you know, we're obviously connecting. Like we're having a great conversation and I'm like, I've got this like sinking feeling because I'm like, oh no, I like her so much.

This is not good, she's in high school. Ugh! And so then we have this, then the locksmith doesn't show up for like three hours. What? We sit on this bench at Macaroni Grill. This is before cell phones, so you couldn't call the guy. He was just like, I'll be there, I'll be there at 10 p.m.

And he wasn't there until 10 p.m. Like it was that kind of thing. But here we are having this conversation on this bench hoping he never shows up. You know what I'm saying? That's pretty cute. I think he was in the bushes watching you guys make a love connection and he's kinda,

I don't wanna ruin it, I don't wanna cut it short. I wanna creep a little bit. Be very clear that it was only conversation, it was just intense conversation. It was, you know, you have those conversations where you're like, when you're in high school, you think these are deep questions, like if you could have one superpower, what would it be?

You know, if I could go back to like what we actually talked about, I'd probably be like a little cringe factor, but. So you don't remember that being a topic? No, I don't know. I was making up some questions and trying to seem interesting, you know. It was working.

And so we are very interested in each other. Now, fast forward, we did not date while she was in high school because I just drew a line at that. Did the locksmith, I wanna go deep with the locksmith. What did he do? I don't remember anything about him. He showed up and he unlocked the car? He unlocked the car.

I mean Mazda 626, like that, it was over. Not very exciting. Okay. I say that to let you know that the bench in front of the macaroni grill at Carrie was a very significant location in our relationship. We did not start dating officially until she became a freshman in college the next year.

Now, but things move very quickly, ridiculously quickly after that, because she went away, she came to Los Angeles for the summer between her freshman and sophomore year in college. You're gonna think I'm a nut and I was because I would never advise anyone doing this

but thank God it worked out for us. So she was going into, she was gonna be a sophomore in college and I was gonna be, I was graduating be a sophomore in college. And I was gonna be, I was graduating. I was graduating college. Yeah. And so I was like, I'm gonna ask this girl to marry me. I don't care if she's still in college. I don't care if she just finished her freshman year

in college, I love her and I wanna spend the rest of my life with her. And I was married, it was working fine for me. You had just gotten married. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, well, I gotta be married too. Thanks, Mary. No. Yeah.

So I married a girl who graduated the same time as me. And Greg, our other roommate, got married in the middle of the year. So I was like, well, we all gotta get married in the same calendar year. I got married in May, he got married in December, and then you were like, oh. The next June.

So, but here's the proposal. I don't wanna drag this out. There's other questions to get to. But I was like, drag it out, man. I needed to get a ring, so my ring story is a little different than yours. I knew that I should probably have a ring when I asked her. Well, that's your opinion.

So I was thinking about saving up a very, I didn't have any money, so I was like, how am I gonna find a ring? And I'm talking to saving up a very, I didn't have any money, so I was like, how am I gonna find a ring? And I'm talking to her grandmother, Gaga, who we talk about in the book of mythicality, about how I'm trying to figure out what to do about a ring. I'm telling her whole family. I went out and took her dad out to dinner

and asked for his permission. Yes, this is a very traditional southern situation where that kind of thing was done. Did he inspect your teeth? No he didn't, he already knew I had good teeth because he was my dentist. And that conversation went well. Everyone knew that I was going to ask her to marry me

when she got back and everyone was okay with it. No one was like, you guys, shouldn't she be older? No one said that. I don't know if I would have listened, but no one even said that. So. Essentially she was away for the summer, which is exactly the scenario, that she was away for the summer, which is exactly the scenario.

Christy was away for the summer. And then when she came back, I popped the question. Right. So, but as I'm telling Gaga this about. You're basically following my lead, emulating me a year later to a T, except you learn from my mistakes. Exactly.

So you're not saying that you wouldn't, if I hadn't done it, you probably would've made all my mistakes. Correct. So I're not saying that if I hadn't done it, you probably would've made all my mistakes. Correct. So I'm talking to Gaga and then she's like, oh you need a ring, hold on a second. And she goes into a closet and pulls out a freaking plastic bag of a bunch of knickknacks.

And she's like reaching down there and she's like, oh this is my mama's diamond ring. And she hands me over this giant diamond. Carrot and a half. Whoa. I'm like, what? I was gonna get like a third of a carrot. I was gonna get such a, you know,

and I was gonna be pushing it. And it was like all covered up in some weird fitting. It was like an old setting. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna pay the 250 bucks to get this thing reset. And I've got this awesome diamond ring. So I'm ready, right? And I didn't have to pay for the diamond.

It's an heirloom. Her grandmother's name was, her great grandmother's name was Jessie. So Jessie was getting Jessie's ring. Everything was falling into place. Oh wow. So. Oh wow. When she gets back, about a week passes

and I've got like this special night plan where I'm gonna pop the question. And so what I ended up doing is I was like, I wanna take her to a series of locations that have been special in our relationship and I'm going to blindfold her in between the locations and then I will walk her out to these places and then take the blindfold off and be like,

oh and now we're here and do you remember the things that happened here? Pretty kinky. Yeah, blindfolds didn't have quite the same, this is before Fifty Shades of Grey, you know, we weren't familiar with that. I'm still not for the record. It was just to keep someone not knowing where they're at.

So trying to remember all the places I took her, but I took her, if you follow me. Were you driving her around and she had a blindfold on? I was on a horse, of course I was driving her around. I just mean you get kind of nauseous with a blindfold on. She doesn't. Good.

You escaped another ravine. This isn't like you in the book of mythicality when your mom was taking you to the birthday party, no. She was not getting nauseous. She was enjoying the conversation and the anticipation. But as I was trying to give myself a shout out on Instagram, RedMC, if you follow me there, you know that I posted a picture of the carving

of our names in a tree on NC State's campus, which at that point, the carving had only been in the tree for about a year. So one of the stops was taking her to that tree on NC State's campus and talking about the memories that we had there. One was taken or two, I think it was a lake near NC State,

like Lake Johnson or something. I can't remember what it was. Sounds right. But we had like a special date out there. Anyway, I can't remember all the places I took her, but I knew that the final stop was going to be the bench in front of the macaroni grill in Cary. Oh yeah.

And the plan was, Call the locksmith. When she takes off the blindfold, I am on one knee with this bam, giant diamond ring that I didn't pay for. Kiko, you're gonna have, that bam, you're gonna have to. No, that's good, no, that's good, you need more bams. And uh. You have to warn him about that.

Needless to say. Okay, so yeah, so you sat her on the bench, she's blindfolded, she's like, keep the blindfold on, just sit down right here. She's starting to think, okay, this feels like a bench. Okay, she's starting to guess where she is. She smells the macaroni. Yeah, the garlic bread.

I don't even think they have macaroni, but you know, she smells what they grilled. The grilled macaroni. And then, so like you're timing it to be like, okay, now remove the blindfold. Okay, how did it go? Well, I didn't say it in a magician's voice. I didn't do that.

So you got her on the bench. I got her on the bench and then I said, okay, remove the blindfold. And when she did, I was down on one knee with the ring and I said something incredibly sweet that I don't remember that ended with, will you marry me? When did something go wrong?

It didn't. She started crying. Dang it. And then she hugged me and she did not immediately say yes, because she was smarter than you. She was 19 years old, man. She was a freaking teenager. She shouldn't have said yes.

It was wrong, but it worked out again. And what, hold on, she didn't say yes? No, she did, it wasn't like, yes, yes, yes. It wasn't one of those situations where you know that this is coming and you're both in a place in life where it's just inevitable that you're gonna ask the question. She was surprised.

Like, there was no leak from her grandma with the ring or her family from permission? It wasn't one of these things where like, you go pick out the ring together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that. It was a surprise. But she still could have heard, she hadn't heard. I think that she understood that that's what I wanted,

but it wasn't a very clear thing that it was. It wasn't a super surprise like, whoa, I've never even thought about this, but it was like, I did not know this was happening now. But then she started nodding and I was like, is that a yes and she was like, yes. But even after that. Did you go in at that point

or did the locksmith show up at that point? Oh we didn't eat at the macaroni grill, we just used the bench. Oh wow. Yeah I didn't even tip anybody. Did the locksmith show up? Was he a part of this? I didn't have his contact info. That would have been cool, man. If the locksmith show up? Was he a part of this? I didn't have his contact info.

That would've been cool, man. If the locksmith shows up. And he's there. Slow clapping. He's got the, I mean, you can find ways to improve on my story, but. I'm not saying that. Well, the only way that I would actually improve,

it's such a sweet story, nothing went wrong. I was looking for a left turn or some sort of foible. Only thing I would change is it was super sweet, very cute. Except because you're wearing those sunglasses, when you tell the whole thing, you seem like a complete douche bag. I asked you if you wanted me to keep these on. I know, it's like, it's totally undermining the vibe

for those watching the video. Because what's gonna happen. But the audio, again, this is made ultimately for audio and no one's gonna be thrown off. But here's the thing, what's gonna happen is they like, here at Mythical, we cut down these things so there's gonna be just an isolated story of me telling my, and they're gonna be like,

what is Rhett doing now? Why is he wearing sunglasses? Is he doing the sunglass thing now? I think that. And all the comments are gonna be about how. You're crying under there. About how Rhett must be hiding something. Oh, Rhett, they got in a fight.

No, I think it's that. He's got a black eye. The story should be that you're hiding your emotions, man. Well here's the thing, I'm gonna wear these sunglasses in life from now on in everything we do, just to upset you. Not you, but you. No one's upset. No, some people are.

Nobody's upset. And I like upsetting people, it's my hobby. It's one of my main hobbies. It's not, let's go with another question. You and Jessie are still together. Yeah, we are, many years later. Hanging by a thread, but you're doing it. It's been, how long has it been?

It's been, since that proposal. 18 years. 18 years. 18 years. Okay. That's crazy. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you,

that thing is... Anno Bay! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I leo murray and i'm leo president and welcome to crunchyroll presents the anime effect it's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore so join us every friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on crunchyroll or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. Another question from Zoe Sutton. What is the strangest hobby you've ever had? Strangest hobby.

I'm sure at some point I've talked about this grade school hobby of mine, but it's so strange. I just have to, I'll tell you again, if you've heard it before. As a kid, in my road trip travels, either with, and I'm talking like young, like first, second, third grade, because I know that I'd go on road trips

with like my stepdad Jimmy and then like my papa, we would take road trips on the interstate and we'd always stop at rest stops. And there were, or different gas stations or whatever would also have these like big displays of brochures like local tourist attractions. So my hobby was collecting brochures of places that I would most likely never visit.

And then my hobby extended well beyond that to, when I got back home, I would pour over these brochures, like three leaf pamphlets, and I had a whole stack of them. You know, probably a foot tall worth of brochures. And I would go through them and just look at them. Were you thinking about one day visiting these places or was it about the brochure?

That's as far as it went. It was about the brochure and it was about, I would think about visiting these places or was it about the brochure? That's as far as it went. It was about the brochure and it was about, I would think about visiting the places and then I would rank them in terms of my favorite places. Favorite places or favorite brochure? Favorite places depicted on brochures. But the quality of the brochure did have an impact. Of course, presentation.

You know, Disney World was on top for a while but then right behind that you had this place called like Alligator World. Oh gosh, yeah. They had a really good brochure. They had a brochure that was as good as Disney's brochure. Maybe even better. Something tells me that the actual experience

of being there was not the same. They had less rules than Disney, I guarantee you that. But there were certain points in my reshuffling and ranking of the brochures that Alligator World did a few times move ahead. So I was like freaking Casey Kasem in the top 40. Like on a weekly basis, I would re-rank them. Like last week you were at number four,

now you're at number two. A little less entertaining for the masses. And then once you got to the bottom of the stack, there was like yarn shop. Like I would, you know, I felt. Threshold was pretty low. Oh, well yeah, it was all part of it because I didn't wanna leave any brochure out.

I would feel guilty. So what'd you do when you went to those things that had like 60 of them? You got one of every? I wouldn't get ones that were like steakhouse, like they were steakhouse brochures, I would leave those for the retirees. Did they have to be folding?

Because a lot of the ones now are just one panel. Yeah, I would never pick up a one panel, it would be like a bifold or a trifold or more. More? Oh, some of them are more. How many is Alligator World? I believe that was the trifold. Yeah.

Disney World was. Big gator. Disney World had a lot. I mean, there were, like I had five or six different Disney World brochures because they had some for the resorts. You still have these? No.

You burn them? I can't think that I ever would have burned them. I just don't, I probably put them in a box at some point and then the box was probably thrown away when mom moved out of the house. Is this why your mom used a brochure to talk to you about sex? Because she knew your affinity?

I wasn't really into it. Did you actually put that one above Alligator World? It was not in that stack. Son, I'm gonna give you this Alligator World brochure and teach you about sex. See these two gators? Let me tell you what's actually happening right now. That's my weirdest hobby, I think.

I've had a bunch of hobbies. We actually did a whole episode about my layers that I call them. Some people call them phases. But I don't know, my weirdest one was probably bonsai. It didn't last very long. It's not a weird hobby. I mean, it's eccentric.

It might be a little unexpected. Well, it is wood. You like wood? But I killed the tree and the hobby ended. And this is a pricey tree. Like Jessie got this for for a birthday present. She showed it to me before you got it. It was almost 20 years old.

This requires, I was like, Jessie, this thing looks expensive. It actually wasn't that pricey. It's kinda big. And then I was like, this type of thing requires like steadfast commitment for like ever. I kinda left it at that. That's actually debatable.

It requires. I could be wrong, but that's what I thought. It requires the correct, the right conditions. And so if you live in a place that doesn't have the right conditions or you've got it in a place that it isn't in the right conditions, then the amount of care increases and I just didn't

really understand where it should be. And I had a book but it didn't tell me about. What did you do wrong, you put it outside? Or in the direct sunlight or something? It's supposed to be outside. A lot of them are supposed to be outside and I believe the one, but I put it outside but it was kind of like half, it wasn't in full sunlight.

I think maybe it should have been in full sunlight. I don't know. The fact that I'm ignorant about it is the reason that I have a dead tree. Do you still have it? No. You put it in the green. I buried it.

I did a whole funeral service for it. No, you put it in the landscape bin. Yeah, I did. I just didn't want to say that because it seems so disrespectful. Boom, just landed a little bit. Like you put it in the landscape bin. Yeah, I did, I just didn't wanna say that because it seems so disrespectful. Boom, just landed a little bit there. Throwing a friend in the trash. Did you keep the pot that was in?

To recycle, to use that? Probably, wear it as a helmet every once in a while. But the thing that I'm thinking about getting into, Tai Chi. What is that? That's where the people are doing like the slow dances by themselves in the park and it's like, don't talk to that person.

Yeah, I wanna be the don't talk to that guy. No, but. It's like karate motions in slow motion. It looks like you're surfing on like a yoga mat or a blanket or just grass. It's supposed to be really good for like stress relief and balance and a lot of people who are already like into like yoga and Pilates like will kind of

naturally move into it. I've had a couple people recommend it to me but. Easily confused with chai tea by the way. Well. Totally different thing. You cannot drink chai tea while doing tai chi because then it's just basically like nothing is happening because they cancel each other out. I've seen it happen.

I've seen a person completely disappear off of the face of the earth trying to put those two things together. It's like sine and cosine. They just like get sucked into a black hole of chi. That's not true. But I've been thinking about that. So if anybody has any recommendations,

any sources or anything I should be worried about. The discipline of moving that slowly, I mean I could see how that would be very centering and it requires a lot of concentration to not do anything too quickly, you know? Because you kind of want to get through it. Go through the motions, so to speak. And I think you can like conjure up energy balls

and like throw them at things. Hadouken! That's not true as well. Didi Hagareta says, brainstorm. How would you get a draft to the top of a 40 plus story skyscraper? P.S. not that you should. Is this a team building exercise assignment?

I mean, we got engineering degrees every once in a while, I like to use them. I have an immediate plan that comes to mind for me. Well, they're dangerous, first of all. I mean, I recently read about the cinematographer who went on the wildlife preserve filming giraffes and the giraffe swung his head around, hit him and killed him.

I don't think that they are- Head butted. I don't think that's a typical experience though. Well, they said that he wasn't following the rules. That's what the police said, that the giraffe would not be punished. And he wasn't for swinging his, I mean, that's a lot of momentum.

There's a restaurant in Africa- Swing that head at the end of that neck momentum. There's a restaurant in Africa. Swing that head at the end of that neck around. There's a restaurant in Africa where the giraffes will stick their heads in the windows while you're eating. I mean, at the Santa Barbara Zoo, which I hesitate talking about zoos and I, you know. They're controversial. That's the last zoo that I've been to

and it may be the last zoo I ever go to. I'm just gonna leave it at that except to say that while I was there, I fed a giraffe. Oh, so you don't wanna get into the ethics of zoos. I don't wanna get into the ethics of zoos. I'm just saying, I fed a giraffe at the zoo and I mean, I guess it was in such a way that it couldn't have swung its head and killed me.

The head at its farthest point is the closest you could get to feeding something and we fed it. I think that's the last experience I will have at a zoo. I bet you I can get you back into a zoo. Now that you presented me with a challenge. You're young, man, lots of zoo time. Lots of zoo time left. Zoo time, that's gonna be a new segment.

I don't know how I feel about zoos. When I was a kid, I had, beside my stack of brochures, I had a stack of zoo books, they were called. Misnomer because they were magazines. They were magazines and they were called zoo books. And each month I would get one and it would have a different animal on the cover,

tastefully shot, well, tastefully photographed. Yeah, let's clarify. And I didn't keep the brochures, but I kept all my zoo books and I still have them. And Lando looks through them because I don't take him to the zoo, I just take him to the zoo books. Does he order them in animal preference?

None of my kids are as neurotic as I am. I encourage them away from like what the hole that I dug and the well that I was in the bottom of. I think it's very simple how you get a giraffe to the top of a 40 story skyscraper. You sedate it and you put it into like a harness and you use a helicopter, a twin engine. Well there's big elevators in skyscrapers.

Well yeah, if there's an elevator that would hold the giraffe, sure. There is, I believe that, I mean, if you sedate it, you can curl it up like a snake. Okay, well, let's just say there's not an elevator like that. But if there is, sure. A helicopter, man, think about that.

Like a droopy sleeping giraffe being sloughed up next to a skyscraper? Hey, whatever it takes, if that's what the people want. That's a Twitter moment. I also agree with the questioner, this should not actually be done. We're not suggesting it be done. So if you're thinking about it,

if you have plans to hoist giraffes on the top of buildings, you should probably stop that right now. I mean, they would get quite a view up there. Do it on green screen. Once you factor in the neck and they're on top of a skyscraper, I mean, that's quite a view up there. Do it on green screen. Once you factor in the neck and they're on top of a skyscraper, I mean that's quite a treat for a giraffe, man. Well which kind of gets into the ethics of zoos.

Does a giraffe in the zoo have it better than a giraffe in the wild? Giraffe in the zoo's not gonna be attacked by a lion. They're just gonna have celery shoved down their throat by toddlers. It's not, I mean, some zoos have like giant open areas. I don't know, I don't actually have an opinion about it

or that I care that much about. So I just wanna stir the pot a little bit. You've made people upset by saying that. That's why I was like. Yeah, I like stirring the pot, man. The safest, I said the safest thing, which was I've been to a zoo. You brought it up.

But I'm not going to a zoo anymore. I just felt like that was a safe thing to say. No, no, I want the people who absolutely hate zoos to just make a bunch of comments. Because I think it feels good for them. I think it's cathartic for them to get their thoughts out in YouTube comments. So I'm giving them the opportunity to do that.

And we can learn from it. Right. You shouldn't have added that last part. Because it almost seemed sincere until you laughed, until you said the thing that made me laugh. You gotta be more careful. No, I was sincerely saying we could learn from it. I'm trying to do a little PR here.

Okay, yeah. I'm spin. Right. Like you're the one trying to be funny. I'm just trying to keep us out of hot water. I am not trying to be funny. That is never my intention. I am never trying to be funny. Sunglasses again aren't helping.

I can't read your face and plus you look like a douche bag. I mean the glasses look great, I think you should buy them but when you're doing a podcast in like a dimly lit room, our great looking sunglasses that you can purchase at mythical.store start to undermine your coolness. No no, I'm like Joaquin man. You know what I'm saying? See what I'm saying?

You see what he's demonstrating? This is the kind of thing like Joaquin, man. You know what I'm saying? See what I'm saying? You see what he's demonstrating? This is the kind of thing that Joaquin would do. But he would be a lot more low key than me. He'd be like this. He'd be sitting back. You wouldn't be able to hear anything. WWJD. Joaquin starts with a J, right?

Yeah. WWJD. Mm-hmm. You can repurpose the bracelets if you're so inclined. Last question. Rachel Horton, if you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?

I think I'd ask that giraffe at the zoo how happy he is. That would be helpful, you know? Yeah. I mean listen. I mean there are psychics who say they can give that answer. I watched frickin' Blackfish. Free Willy? I didn't watch Free Willy.

I watched Blackfish and I was like, never going back to SeaWorld, that's wrong, man. What they're doing to those frickin' animals is wrong. And so they're not doing it anymore because people stopped going. I'mWorld, that's wrong, man. What they're doing to those freaking animals is wrong. And so they're not doing it anymore because people stopped going. I'm all for that. And I know that zoos are different. But I don't think that zoos are an equivalent.

Maybe some of them are, but I don't think that most major zoos are equivalent to SeaWorld. But I don't really wanna talk about this. Well that's what you said you want, and that's why we would just like to know. Yeah, I wanna talk to the friggin giraffe. Instead of speculating and opinionating way out of our league, we would just like to ask

the animals. I mean, I would just, I mean, on that front, I guess I'd like to know what my dog was thinking at any point, but I only get to ask one question, is that what it is? Is this a question? If you could know one, the truth about something. You wanna know what Jade's thinking?

Yeah, that's boring. I think Jade, you probably know what she's thinking. Boring, yeah, not thinking much. She's probably pretty happy. Honestly, I think, Jayden, you probably know what she's thinking. Boring, yeah, not thinking much. She's probably pretty happy. Honestly, I think the question that I would really like to know is I would like to know the comprehensive, definitive truth about aliens.

Yes. So I would like to be able, if I would like, do aliens exist and describe them in detail to me? I want the complete truth about aliens. Yeah, so to be able to be like, well actually, you're the only people in the entire universe which would be mind blowing or there's actually millions of other civilizations

and let me describe them to you in this volume, this encyclopedia of alien information. Like that's what I wanna know. It would be nice to know, but think about how disappointing it would be if the answer, the complete and utter truth was the first option, that there's nothing, there are no other life forms in existence off of our planet.

You know, boy that would be pretty disappointing, wouldn't it? Because I don't know if it would be disappointing. If the answer was there, well the truth is there are, there is alien life. You're like yes, tell me more! As opposed to oh there's nothing. Oh seriously?

It would be disappointing. I almost feel like I didn't wanna know. It'd be disappointing in terms of like the personal entertainment factor. Not entertainment, but fascination. Fascination factor, but it would be sobering. And I think it would probably make me think differently about lots of things.

Really? Because I already think that what we have on this earth is incredibly precious. You know, I think that the fragile responsibility that we have, you know, with the amount of impact that we can have on earth and that we are having on earth right now and on our own civilization and you know, we already have a huge amount and that we are having on Earth right now and on our own civilization.

We already have a huge amount of responsibility, but if we're legitimately the only intelligent life in the entire universe, then I think it would make me even more motivated. That's a lot of pressure. It'd be like, hold on guys, no, no, no. For real, we can't destroy this. It's actually, it's even a bigger deal than I thought it was.

But if we had a complete knowledge of alien to us life, I don't like calling them aliens. I like calling them aliens to us life. Extra terrestrial? Extra earth terrestrial, yeah. They're probably terrestrial. But terrestrial means of Earth. No it just means of dirt.

Yeah but Earth means dirt. Is our dirt. Is our Earth. Again you're so self-centered here. I'm trying to get away from that. And I'm trying to eradicate zoos too by the way. Extra terrestrial. But when the aliens show up,

if they're not as smart as us, we put them in zoos. We let all the aliens, we let all the animals out and we put aliens in the zoos. I think sincerely, I mean, you know a complete truth about these civilizations which probably, we do not have the capability to get to or communicate with so that may be very frustrating. But then ultimately, it would accelerate all of our efforts

to be able to make those connections. And then to create an internet of various terrestrials or maybe space geels. I mean they all don't have to be associated with dirt, I guess. What I'm saying is if we knew that it would accelerate our efforts to then connect. Make contact.

Connect. And get out of our own way. Yeah, the money that seems like a waste of time to some people in trying to make contact and trying to monitor the universe and to send probes out and that kind of thing. At the rate that we're working. Would suddenly become the most.

Maybe it'll happen but it probably will not happen. The most important thing. It would become the most important thing. Unless you take like the Stephen Hawking view which is if aliens exist, we don't want them to know we're here because the chances that they are friendly are very small. Because if they're anything like us,

whenever they move into a new environment, they destroy everything else. Right. Put all the animals in zoos. Well, I want to have a more hopeful approach. But knowing the truth would help. Or would it? But here's the thing, we can't know that.

I know. We can only want to know that. So now I'm still frustrated, but I think that's an excellent answer. I think that's where we'll end this thing. Oh, we'll begin the easy letdown. Let's begin it. Okay.

And we can put the music in. Just, I forget, we stopped putting the music in at the end of our podcast. We should put the easy let down music back in. So it's in there now, boy. It's feeling like this thing's coming to a close but it's not yet ended. I will say I'm not going to wear sunglasses next time.

Don't do that, yeah. Okay, I mean, you've already said it in the comments. Because again, the peak experience, I would still argue is audio only, but I know that it still impacted your ear experience because of the way that I had to interact with him with those sunglasses on. And even though I'm never actually trying to be funny,

that's never my motivation, when I said that I was gonna wear sunglasses this whole time, it was an attempt to be funny. And I may have failed in your eyes, and I may have just annoyed you this whole time. This is a moment of growth. Which gives me a little bit of pleasure, to be honest with you,

but I'm working through that. I wanna wear them again because you out there who are annoyed by the fact that I had them on, it's what keeps me going. I love everyone. I love you and I think that I want you to love me and don't lump me in with this guy. But I'm never trying to be funny, I'm always serious.

You can take everything I say and everything that I say on this podcast. At face value. At face value. It's all literal and it's never being sarcastic. The level of that value is questionably attained but it's probably low. Yeah because who needs sarcasm?

Sarcasm is just nothing productive for our world. We should not be funny, we should not joke. Everything we say should be the literal meaning of the words that are coming out of our mouth because that would just make life simpler and less beautiful. Hashtag Ear Biscuits is how you continue a conversation with us on social media.

Please do that, we value that, as well as leaving a review on iTunes. It's actually bright in here and yeah it's funny it's bright we'll speak at you next week