Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Looking Back: We Gave Our Wives a Survey

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

Listen to R&L look at their answers for the first time and find out what their wives really think about them on this episode of Ear Biscuits! They are still on summer break, but will be back with new episodes on July 17th! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. It's your boys. We're still off on our summer break. This week's throwback episode is one of your favorites

as well as ours. We're taking you back to when we gave our wives a survey. Enjoy it. And we'll be back with fresh episodes on the 17th of July. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett.

This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are going through the surveys that were given to our individual wives. We only have one wife each, and we've been married for 20 and 21 years respectively. We have questions for them and apparently they have lots of answers. Now, we did not come up with these questions.

Yeah, because what would be the fun in that? Kiko and Jenna, you guys collaborated on these questions, right? Just like with the kids. And if you didn't listen to our, we gave our kids a survey from last year. Hey, you can go back and listen to that. Speaking of which, the next three weeks,

we're taking a break from fresh episodes of Ear Biscuits. We're thinking that we're gonna re-release older episodes that you may not have heard of, and it'll just be an easy way to prompt you to check it out if you want to. But if not, after this episode, three weeks until the fourth week will then be a fresh one again.

We'll be back talking about more stuff. And we'll be orienting you to this during, we'll have a little intro that we record in the modern times to introduce you to the episode that we're gonna be throwing back to. But I mean, in other podcasts that I listen to, that's what they do. And I find that every time they introduce an old episode,

I'm like, yeah, I haven't heard that one. But I also don't listen to every single episode of a podcast. So if you listen to every single episode of Ear Biscuits, first of all, thank you. Thank you. But second of all, you just skip those, or just listen to them again.

What do you just, you know, just vacuum or ride your bike or your unicycle. How many podcasts have two guys who've been friends as long as we have, who've submitted themselves to the survey questions of their wives? I can't think of any. So Kiko and Jenna, as I was saying, they put together these questions, things that I think they thought would be interesting

to hear Christy and Jesse just give their just unfiltered opinion. And okay, now we just have to read them and react to it and respond to it. So I'm ready. I mean, after last week, I mean, our marriages seem to be good. We seem to be in like,

we were saying at the end of the episode, it's like the best it's ever been. And now it's all being threatened by this dumb survey idea. Let's see what happens. I do believe that though. Yeah, this survey could lead to divorce. No, I do believe, I'm not saying it's always gotten better.

And I'm not saying there haven't been very difficult times. I'm just saying- It certainly hasn't always gotten better. And it also, a lot of times when you're on a trip, and this may not apply to your recent trip because your trip was shorter than mine, but when you're on a week long trip with just your spouse, let's just be honest, sometimes it gets to the end of it and any vacation,

a lot of times you're kind of just ready to go back home. But Jessie and I made the note, we were like at the end of the trip, we were like, I think it's a combination of where we've been, also the fact that we're kind of like coming out of COVID and vacation is like such a precious thing. Yeah. But also where we felt like our connection was,

we were like, man, I wish we could do this for another week. So, I mean, don't wanna jinx it, but yeah, I feel like we're in a good place. Don't wanna jinx the marriage. Oh, speaking of jinx, Ronstadt, the scripted podcast that we're starring in, the sixth episode drops on Tuesday, which is tomorrow when you're listening.

If you listen to this on the first day, there's a foursome in this episode. Golf. Do with that what you will, listen to it. Let's just start at the beginning and go through this thing. Okay, so the first question presented to our wives, Christy and Jessie,

is what is your husband's most attractive trait? Oh, okay, I like this. I like the fact that we started with a compliment. Now, if I would have been consulted, I might would have tweaked this question to be like, can you list out all of your husband's attractive traits? That's why you weren't consulted because we would still be tweaking the list right now.

Okay. And it's divided into physical trait and then character traits. So why don't we, let's just start with the physical. Oh, okay, it is, okay. Okay, Christy said my most attractive physical trait is my eyeballs or she just said eyes.

Maybe it's just like- Do you agree with that? The inner part of the eye, not the entire ball. When you think about yourself, are you like, you know, if a lineup of just random people selected from earth were to be, if I were to be paraded naked, because she's seen you naked, so she knows all the physical traits.

If you were to be paraded naked in front of just 1,000 random people from all around the world, and they had to say what your best trait was, do you think it would be your eyes? Once you said I was naked, like I'm just picturing myself naked, and I was like, am I gonna say Bush?

That would be a funny joke. Bush? Yeah. Well, typically I wouldn't say Bush, but you call it your Bush? No. Typically I wouldn't say Bush. I didn't say Bush.

I just said that I was considering it. Is that not, is that just for ladies? A man, I mean, I've only say bush, I just said that I was considering it. Is that not, is that just for ladies? A man, I mean, I've only referred to women's privates as a bush before, and only some women's. I know that you trim your leg hair. Yeah. Very close, might I say. I know you returned from a pool trip.

It's a slippery slope, man. Once you take the- It's basically shaved now. I want you to know that. But it's gonna hit a sweet spot in another week or so. Why don't you just maintain the sweet spot? But really- I don't wanna trim my leg hair. I didn't shave it, I trimmed it. I would say the Venn diagram

between men who trim their leg hair is almost a full crossover with men who trim their bush. That has to be true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a destination for this. And I would say, if I am an indicator, more men trim the bush than the leg hair. Yeah.

It's a cart. Wink, wink. It's a cart before the home. I'm one of those men. Don't tell me you're the opposite. Well, the thing is I trim the hair off my feet because I hate having hobbit feet. I just don't like the look of it, especially in the summer when you're lounging by the pool.

The hair on the top of my feet, especially the hair on the top of my toes, fell out. I mean, like literally in the past 15 years, what little- You sleeping in a tanning bed? Top of foot hair, it went away. I don't understand what happened. I didn't dip my feet in a chemical.

Well, I'm just saying if you look at those, like my toes and my crotch at like the bookends, I mean, and once you have clippers at one end, I just go through the whole stack. It's like everything's better with less hair. Okay, so really what we're saying is that you use the term bush inappropriately. You just didn't even mean to say it.

You take it back. So back to the question at hand. What is it called? Well, are you talking about just like the wiener? Are you talking about above the wiener? Above it. You think that a thousand people selected in random, at random from across the world who saw you naked

would be like, you know, right above his wiener. That's his best part. No, I'm not talking about that at all. Well, that's the point of the question. You were asking what's the proper terminology for a male bush? Not his wiener, but just above his wiener. Best trait on this random man who just came out before us.

Now let's look at the next one. He's taller. Yeah, that's not what I was saying. To answer your question, I don't know. I don't know. I would say, okay, my eyes. Okay, there you go. I mean, that is the thing that over the course of my life,

like aunts and uncles would compliment me on. Aunts and uncles? You're such a strange person. You could have said, you know, women would compliment me on my eyes. No, my aunts and my uncles are very into my eyes. You know when you're a kid. How do your aunts and uncles feel about your bush?

You gotta shut up, man. Knowing the Neal family, you never know. No, what is that supposed to mean? I'm just saying. Knowing the Neal family. I'm saying there's weird things that have happened in your family. No. No, I'm saying like. Nothing like that has happened in my family. No. No, I'm saying like.

Nothing like that has happened in my family. You lick your aunt's face. Yeah, that's different. Okay, that's weird. That's different. That's an inside joke. Oh. That's what she said. What do you mean that's what she said?

That's an inappropriate. I'm not making the joke. I'm saying literally that's what your aunt said. It was an inside joke. I'm not making the office joke, the Michael Scott joke. That's what inappropriate. I'm not making the joke. I'm saying literally that's what your aunt said. It was an inside joke. I'm not making the office joke, the Michael Scott joke. That's what she said. Sometimes that's what she said is just what she said. And sometimes a bush is on a guy. This is the first question.

I haven't even given my answer yet. What did Jessie say is your most attractive physical trait? I don't know how to feel about this because she said his luscious locks. Now let me- What do trait? I don't know how to feel about this because she said his luscious locks. Now let me- What do you mean you don't know how to feel about it? I don't know how to feel about it

because I haven't had these luscious locks until like the past 12 months. So what was she attracted to up until this point? Well, she was patient. My bush? Let's not, this can't be a throwback. That's the last Bush. I didn't bring it up.

I didn't bring it up. I actually didn't either. I said I was gonna bring it up, but I didn't actually bring it up. But I did hear there is a new George Bush that's running for office. I think George P. Bush. Really?

That's what she said. I mean, no, she actually, okay. Shut up. I'm not gonna say that ever again. I should've never said it. You're almost being annoying. Yeah, right. Well up! I'm not gonna say that ever again. I should've never said it. You're almost being annoying. Yeah, right. How does it feel?

Just want you to understand. Okay, so his luscious locks. She likes my hair, she's made it very clear. And I'm happy that I'm able to give my wife that gift late in life, you know, in my twilight years. That I'm able to sprout this from my head. You're losing it on your toes. You might be losing it up there.

And when I talk about potentially cutting it because it's annoying and I don't like dealing with it, she's made it very clear. And now she's made it even more clear saying it is my most attractive trait. There you go. Hey, listen, you got the feedback you need. I'm not gonna get rid of my eyes.

Okay. But let's get to the real thing. The real part, yeah, right. What's the most attractive character trait? Christy said, my ability to love. Hmm. Huh. Wow.

My ability to love? That's sweet. Do you feel like you have a high ability to love? That's sweet. Do you feel like you have a high capacity for love? You surprised by this answer? Kinda, yeah. By the way, we're not doing the newlywed game where we're trying to guess what they said because- Ability to love?

It's been done so many times. It's not the capacity to love. It's the ability to love. It's the ability to love. Like it's like, in practice, I'm a lover. Battery capacity doesn't mean battery usage. I'm in practice, I'm a lover. Battery capacity doesn't mean battery usage. I'm a lover, I'm a lover. Okay.

Well, that makes me feel nice. I will be making mental note of that whenever we're like in a disagreement or a conflict. That. Be like, well, if I were to access my ability to love and then I can solve it. That's probably not strategic. Jessie said, can't decide.

Can't narrow it down, huh? She passed? Between his humor and his big old brain. I like when you talk about my big old brain, baby. So you sense your humor in your brain. Okay. Yeah, okay. I mean, if I were to be paraded

in front of a thousand random people, I mean, I think I actually have a relatively small head. So I don't think you would assume that it was a big brain. You're dodging the compliment. But I do think- But which one- No, I'm not dodging the compliment, I'm exercising the first part, which is the humor.

I haven't gotten to the being smart yet. Oh. If you can only choose one of part, which is the humor. I haven't gotten to the being smart yet. Oh. If you can only choose one of these, which one would you have chosen? Because she really needed to only choose one. Would you rather be funny or smart? I'd rather be funny. I think funny as well,

because I don't think that smart does anything for you. It does things for the people around you, but I think it makes, I think it makes, I think most- I actually think funny does more for the people around you because it brightens their day. Well, yeah, funny does a lot for the people around you. I'm just saying if you isolate smart, I mean, and I'm definitely not,

I'm not comparing myself to super smart people, but super smart people are super sad. Hmm. Yeah, because they know too much. And so I don't, you know, I think that smart is a good quality to have, but it's really, I mean, I guess you can keep yourself out of trouble if you're smart

and smart boy stays out of trouble. And tell it, I mean, like it's nice to interact with somebody who knows stuff and then there's like, oh, that's interesting. That's thought provoking. That's, I mean, just edifying. But there's something magical about like when you make somebody laugh, man,

that's a magical power. I think they're both pretty beneficial for people around you. Well, but I only had to choose one. But I'm just saying that for you personally, being funny is probably more fun. Let's get to some negatives. What's your husband's worst trait?

This is also divided into physical. I'm gonna let you go first. And character. But my wife took, you know what? She didn't say like, I don't like his nose. She said, sensitive scalp. This may seem like an odd answer to you. What is she, what is she frustrated

about your sensitive scalp? What is she trying to do to your scalp that frustrates her? She's rubbing it hard? At any point in our marriage, when she wants to, well, first of all, now that I've got these luscious locks that marriage when she wants to, well, first of all, now that I've got these luscious locks that she's so attracted to, anytime she's trying to manipulate them, if she snags, like if it snags on a ring

or if she's like trying to do something to my hair. What do you mean do something to your hair? Like style it? Like fix it or put something in it or- Put something in it. Or just touch it. Like she might be like, I'm gonna touch your hair. And it's like, I've got stuff in my hair and it's like, my hair is curly.

So your hands get stuck in it. And I have, I'm tenderheaded, man. And she's annoyed by me being tenderheaded. She regularly brings this up. I will say that like, this is an interesting, like this is a one-two punch thing. This is not a you thing. This is a you and her thing because,

I mean, if you wanna talk about a hundred people surveyed, I think the majority are gonna say that they haven't touched their partner's hair like that often. Like I can't tell you the last time Christy's touched my hair, period. I think you're missing out on a huge part of what could be a connection

in your relationship. That's not what you're describing. You're saying- Touching each other's hair. You're saying she fixes my hair, she puts things in my hair. It seems like we're talking like picking and pruning. No, no, I'm saying even if she's like, I'm, you know, she's laying there

and she like wants to like either play with my hair or like scratch my head or something. First of all, that's not unusual, I don't think. No, but that's not what you had described. No, but I'm saying- You're saying that she was fixing your hair for you. Well, no, if she's like- Like a child before church.

Well, there's a number of times that she, like, okay, I mean, it happens more often than you would think, but like, okay, when we did that thing where the groomer had put Barbara's hair into ponytails, right? And she was like, oh, let's do, all my good Twitter ideas come from Jessie. So she was like, let's do that with you.

And it's just the process of grabbing my hair and doing that. I mean, I'm constantly like, ah, ah, ah. That's not a normal relational application of- But I'm saying at any, she just doesn't like the fact that my scalp is sensitive and it annoys her. Because she's touching your hair a lot. She wants to touch my head.

She's touching your hair a lot, a little weird. To me, but she's not- Survey a thousand people. I mean, if she was touching my hair a lot, even more weird. If a thousand people were surveyed, is it weird for a wife to touch a husband's hair, especially when it is the number one thing

she is attracted to? I believe that 90, 900 out of those 1,000 people would say, no, that's not weird. It's totally natural and expected. Christy said my physical worst trait is, oh, newsflash, my chewing. There are times when I'm like, you know what? Right now, I'm really gonna concentrate

on not chewing like a dummy. I'll really gonna concentrate on not chewing like a dummy. I'll own this one. Chewing like a dummy. I wish I could fix this. Apparently I can't because sometimes I will try really hard to just chew like a normal non-dummy. What do you mean? At like dinner.

If somebody like notices. But like what do you adjust? I just try to chew slower, less, more or less dummy-like. It's not a dummy thing. I mean, you know what I'm saying. It's a level of aggression. Yeah, so I try to slow it down and. That's still aggressive.

It's just slower. Listen, I'm gonna own this one. I don't wanna talk about it. Okay, but I mean, God bless her, she lives with you. All I do is work with you. And I do eat on the internet with you quite a bit. But she makes meals and serves them to you and then has to listen to you eat them.

She sits beside me. Does she sit across from you or next to you? Caddy corner. Boy, I would be on the other side of the table. I'd be as far away as I possibly could. I said I did want to talk about this. Okay. This is between us. Boy, I would be on the other side of the table. I'd be as far away as I possibly could. I said I did wanna talk about this. This is between us.

I didn't talk about you and your wife's hair touching. Yeah, you didn't say a thing about that. Right, so what did Jessie say is your worst character trait? She said he's not a natural snuggler. This is not a character issue, but it feels like an appropriate time to bring this up. Also, he believes there's a right or efficient way

to do everything and that everybody should care about that as much as he does. Oh. See, you guys think that Link's the only one who's worried about efficiency. My wife thinks that I'm overly worried about efficiency. That's because she doesn't know, she never used the word in a sentence.

Or used the term efficient? She used right and efficient know, she never used the word in a sentence. We use the term efficient? She is right and efficient. I know. And a dash in between it. I'm making you a defender because I think that will seem heroic. But like, I mean, she doesn't place a lot of value on efficiency. Let's focus on the-

I'm with you on this one. Yeah, and I do. In my family, I am the one that thinks there is a way to do things and I get frustrated with all my family members for the way they do things. Not a natural snuggler, this is true. But I'm glad she recognizes that it's not a character issue. I'm still a good man.

But I think that Jessie is an unnatural snuggler. I feel like she is on the far, the high end of the spectrum for capacity. I think the hair touching is a form of snuggle. Oh, 100%. So it makes sense. Yeah, so this is consistent with that. It's like, I'm trying to snuggle with you,

I'm trying to touch your hair. But you're saying she's an unnatural snuggler. I think the hair touching is to an unnatural level as well. She is on one end of the spectrum, but it is not strange. I stand by it. It is not strange for a spouse to touch their spouse's hair. I didn't think it, okay. I don't think that's the right word for it.

Strange or scalp or bush. Is it strange for a partner to not touch their partner's Bush? We promised we weren't gonna do this. Well, you've wanted me to promise. Christy's got my number here with my character trait that's worst, overly critical. I mean, when we explore the Enneagram stuff,

it's like, you know, again, I gotta own this. It was nice to just be refreshed to the impact that that has and how even though I'm being misunderstood in my criticism, it is important for me to remember how it feels to be on the receiving end of that. And so it's not just about, is this important? Is this important enough to bring up or can I let it go? But there's another aspect to the decision to speak it

in the criticism into existence and that's, how's this gonna be interpreted? How's it gonna make the recipient feel? And I think that was a nice refresher there. Okay, we got a lot. But I don't wanna talk about it anymore. We got a lot more to go through, but we do want to remind you that you can get this shirt.

What does it say? I can't read my own shirt. This is your brain. This is your brain on Mythical. Any questions? Remember those anti-drug commercials from the 80s? It's a parody of that. That's what this is referring to.

If you don't remember it, you might just find this to be a cool shirt. Yeah. Get it. Mythical.com. Okay, next question. Next question, please. What's one thing that your husband always says to you? Christy said, I always say to her, did you turn off the lights?

I guess I do say that. Did you turn off the lights? Like if I go upstairs first. Would she like come upstairs? Yeah, if I go upstairs first, did you turn off the lights? I'm in the process of making more of my lights. Automatic. Automatic.

So I don't have to ask her that. This problem's going away. Well, not all, I have that in my house. And all the lights, I mean, all the lights go off at 1 a.m. at my house because you never know who's gonna be up past 1 a.m. Somebody every night. Except for like some safety lights, right?

Do you still use that, the color changing mood? They're all still installed, yeah. Do you ever use that, the color changing mood? They're all still installed. Do you ever do that? Shepherd does it. I don't really do it. Oh, you know, well, occasionally in the bedroom, yeah. Occasionally in the bedroom, we'll use it. It's party time.

But yeah, it's party time, turns all the lights on, but I think at 1 a.m. they just automatically shut off. And let me tell you right now, if that doesn't happen, none of them would go off. Like you could not, the amount of electricity that I'm using, but I do have solar panels. What, okay. What did Jesse say? I do have solar panels.

One thing that your husband always says to you, look at that, there, to the left, you missed it, said as we drive past something he finds fascinating, like a house, cow, tree, hill, et cetera. I am the king. Of look at that? Of pointing things out and wanting you to look at them. Look at that?

Like, I mean, I know I must do it, at least in terms of Jessie's perspective, to an annoying degree, because I tend to get really, especially if I'm in a new place, I tend to get really fascinated with everything that I'm seeing. And if you're driving, you can't be looking at your phone, so you're having to look at that, all of that.

And if I'm not driving, it's even worse. And then I'm telling her if she's driving, that she should look at something. But it could also just simply be walking. Look at that. And I want everyone to look at it. I want all my family members to look at it. And it seems like even when they look at it,

they don't care about it as much as I do. Yeah. And I can never get over that. May I suggest a new catchphrase, which is look and care about that. Look and care about that. That seems forceful. I feel like I'm just pointing it out

and then they can come to their own conclusions about it. It reminds me of my pet peeve with Christy is when I'm driving and she's navigating somewhere and she's like, oh, turn that way. I'm like, I'm not looking at you. I'm looking at where I'm driving. Like say left or right, give me turn that way. I'm like, I'm not looking at you. I'm looking at where I'm driving. Like say left or right, give me a directionality. Oh, you're gonna turn up here.

Yeah. It's like, go up. Turn at that sign. Which sign? Which way? Like that's why I always insist on like putting the thing in the GPS because we just avoid that fight. Technology has avoided so many fights. Soon we won't be fighting about the lights.

Once a robot. When we don't fight about directions anymore. Are you telling me that I could get a robot who just looks at the things that I ask it to look at? Oh yeah, yeah. There, hey, that could be the new robot. Hey, robot man. Look at that.

And he's like, that is me on that phone. Thank you for pointing it out. Here's looking at that, kid. It's a robot that helps you with nothing. He just looks at the things that you want him to look at. It can be a child too. And it can be like really into everything. You kind of think it was a wife.

You point it at a robot wife. Maybe a robot woman. To look at stuff for you. How about it's just a whole robot family? It's a wife and two children. And they're all- And they travel with us. Really into the stuff that you tell them to look at.

Right, yeah, yeah. Look at that. And they're like, wow. But they have like the built-in technology, like the Google thing. They're like quoting Wiki. Yeah, where they can take a picture of something. That is the Hearst Castle,

founded in 1647, you know. And then they tell you facts about it. Wow, dad, that's the Hearst Castle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They call you dad. Cause I need to be the one with the information about it. They need to be wowed by me. They don't need to be telling me stuff. Here's a good one.

It just happens to be the next question. I'm not skipping around. They're all good. They're all great. Rank your husband's coolness from one to 10, 10 being coolest. Okay, Jesse said eight, negative two for that tiger tank top and the dad shoes he sometimes wears. Tiger tank top?

I think I put this on Twitter at some point, or maybe Jesse did. I bought a series of very graphic tank tops back when we thought we were gonna do that character on TikTok, who was like the stepdad. It was pretty good. He had one good TikTok, but we haven't brought him back. And I found some funny TikToks on Amazon.

And then I was like- TikToks on TikTok? Maybe I'll just wear one of these. Maybe I'll just wear one of these in the house and see what happens. And Jesse didn't like it. Also- That knocked you down two cool points.

Well, that and- Forever. So I have a few sort of dad-ish sort of tennis shoes that I might wear that are like just super comfortable or whatever. Jessie will- You look like Ringo Starr on a Skechers ad. I will definitely defer to Jessie quite a bit when it's just like, how does this look?

Like, what does this look like? And because there are times, apparently like 20% of the time, where she's like, ah, that's, I mean, no, that's not cool. You need to change that. And I trust her in that way. So I totally, I'm actually surprised. That you got to an eight.

That I got to an eight. Yeah, you should. I don't consider myself particularly cool in this way, so. Well, Christy, this is what she wrote. She wrote, rank your husband's coolness on a scale of one to 10, 10 being the coolest. Oh gosh. 10 plus.

Then she wrote, no one pulls off eating cereal in a pool floaty quite like Link. Okay, so this is a backhanded compliment. This is not a sincere 10. She's saying that I have a 10 plus in coolness because yes, she has exited the back of our house and seen me lounging in a pool floaty in my pool eating cereal in the middle of the day.

I mean, that's cool, man. Is that cool? She took pictures. What kind of cereal and what kind of floaty? Doesn't matter. I think it definitely matters. I think that the pool floaty was a six foot tall sloth, inflatable sloth that he seemed to be cradling me.

That's pretty cool. Like he was spooning me or I was, you know, I was the little spoon. I was facing up. So that's cool, but if the cereal had the word bran in it, you're not cool. Oh, I'm sure it was, what about if it's- Raisin Bran Crunch. Comes after crunch.

Raisin Bran Crunch makes you slightly cooler than Raisin Bran, but it doesn't make you cool. Okay, well, I got a 10 for my wife, so eat that. DQ presents... Picture this. Picture the Reese's Extreme Blizzard back for a limited time. Reese's peanut butter cups and Reese's Pieces blended together with world-famous soft serve in one Blizzard treat. It's a dream treat for Choco peanut butter lovers. Wait, are you dreaming?

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Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome? Who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations.

You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Describe your husband using one word. Wow, the interesting thing is I think that the two things that were chosen for us by our wives are almost the same letters rearranged, but not exactly. Jessie called me an enigma.

Enigma? Enigma. Really? An enigma? I guess with one word, you really can't like expound on it. I know, the way I would describe enigma is like- Like a mystery. A mystery. Like a closed off- But let me look at the official definition.

A person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling or difficult to understand. I'll take that. I mean, it's intriguing. Rhett Enigma McLaughlin. So she doesn't, I mean, it sounds like a good name for a pro wrestler. And I think that did happen. Definitely happened at least once.

It's several different levels of wrestling probably. I mean, like I've never seen you wear a mask sincerely. How could you be an enigma? Well, I think where she's getting, I would assume where she's getting this from is, I think her, Jessie's perspective on me is that the combination of things that make up who I am is not something that she has run into in other people.

She has said as much to me. So you're unique. Yeah, but in an unexpected way. Because it's like- In a clandestine way? You could be unique in like a- In a hidden- Oh yeah. That guy is unique. Like he wears books for clothes.

You know what I'm saying? It's like, okay, yeah, but is that an enigma? No. But if you found out that the guy that wears books for clothes is also running like a viable candidacy for president, then you'd be like, that is an enigma. Huh. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Christy described me using the word magnetic. That's nice. Which is also a superhero's name. That's nice. Magnetico. But you know what I'm saying, similar letters. A lot of letters, yeah. But you have a couple extra. The E's and the N. You have a C and a T that's been added.

But everything else is the same. Magnetic enigma, magnetic enigma. I like saying that together. Magnetic enigma. So I'm basically like, I don't know, I draw her to me. And your sloth floaty. There's attraction. There's attraction.

Come join me in my sloth floaty and eat cereal with me. So far, this is making me feel good for the most part. Just wait. Next question, what's one thing you wish your husband would stop doing? Christie said, listening to his inner critic. So she's becoming my therapist now in this thing.

And yeah, okay, I'll take it. become my therapist now in this thing. And yeah, okay, I'll take it. Yeah, I gotta just keep putting that guy in his place. Yeah. Hey, I can mow the grass and think about other things. You don't mow the grass. No, I don't. Trying to avoid my inner critic.

That's one less thing you can be critical of yourself for. Jesse said. Jesse said, morning farts when we work out. Y'all work out together now? You farted up? No, we work out at the same time. Working out together is like doing the same thing. Working out at the same time in the same place,

that's how we work out together. Okay. We're on our own programs. Every once in a while, we'll do like a, you know, a little YouTube workout together, but- But you're farting. Well, let's not- I said this on this podcast earlier. I was like, one of the greatest things

about being able to work out at home, which I do now and no longer going to the gym because of COVID, but now I'm never going back to the gym. I got the gym at my house. I'm in my garage, right? And one of the things I hate about working out in public is especially in the morning, you cannot fart. But I, you know-

I like keeping my fart. I like going to the gym and I like having to keep my farts in because it's like, it actually helps with your form. You know, you always want your glutes tight and your abs tight. You don't want your butthole tight though. I think you want your butthole tight, yeah. You want your core tight.

You want your core tight, which maybe that'll push a fart out. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think I've got the right technique. You gotta have a capper. You gotta have a cap on the tube. And I essentially, and also I do my whole morning stretching routine, which is like almost designed.

You know, there's like the wind release pose in yoga or like just several different poses that are made to make you fart. And I do those in the morning. And you fart. And she used to not come down there. She would come a little bit later. Oh, well, she's come a little bit later.

And then she started coming a little bit earlier and I was like, well, if you're gonna be in here, I can't change this. You know, she used- My body has gotten used to this. She used to work out with me. There was a time there. I remember, yeah.

When the two of us worked out together, we weren't at each other's homes, we were at the gym. At the gym. And somehow- There was a time in which all four of us went to the same gym. We got in the same class. But we never- Never were in the same gym at the same time. Yeah, that was way too late. We just went to the same class. We went to the same gym. That, but we never- Never were in the same gym at the same time.

Yeah, that was way too- We just went to the same place. I never recalled hearing her fart at the gym. She also doesn't fart during our workouts and she's free to do it. She needs to. I just made it clear that I wasn't gonna change my behavior because it was important for me

to be able to release my wind. But she doesn't like it. But I'm like, I'm sorry, baby, this is something that you're gonna have to deal with. See, my problem is when I fart, then my inner critic starts breaking it down. Like, oh, that one wasn't wet enough. Wasn't wet enough.

Next question, has your husband developed any old man traits in the past few years? This is a trap. This is a trap question. How are we gonna get out of this one? Well, Jessie said, morning farts when we work out again. And then she added, and this is interesting, and I know that I was actually telling you

in a conversation we were having yesterday that she complains about this, complaining about kids these days. Kids these days. She has it, sometimes I will be talking to our children and there's something that I'm kind of sensing about their generation that I'm like thinking that needs to be like addressed and like maybe called out.

And you have to use the phrase. And well, I don't use, I haven't fallen into the trope of like saying kids these days or back in my day, but you know, I will sometimes talk about something that I did, like, well, when I was your age, I would do this. And she's just very sensitive to me going into that or anytime I'm talking and I'm talking about a generation And she's just very sensitive to me going into that.

Or anytime I'm talking and I'm talking about a generation in general, if I'm saying something about millennials, or if I'm saying something about Generation Z, she's like, oh, don't become that guy. You're just falling into it. You're gonna become an old guy who just talks about the problems with the other generations. So I appreciate this.

Yeah, this is feedback. This is good feedback. How are you gonna take this feedback? I'm taking it, but I'm gonna keep farting, but I will stop talking about the generations. But I will not stop farting, because that would be unhealthy. It's like when you start in on that stuff,

anyone who's in earshot, it's like a cue, verbal cue to just stop listening. Unless you're like, so I might listen, I might commiserate, but like if your kids are in the room, it's like that, I mean, they're not gonna, it's like, oh, I gotta stop what I'm doing and listen to what dad's about to say. You know, it's like, that's just not the preemptive,

that's not the conversation starter that gets them going. You know, kids these days. I do not say kids these days. Okay. Any old man traits. See, in this one, okay, it wasn't one. What is the most old man-ish trait? It's old man traits.

Christie said, sleeping with lip balm in a full water bottle by his bed. Yeah. Is that old man-ish? She goes on. Yeah, she could have used an Excel spreadsheet for this. Wearing a full coat with a cardigan while drinking coffee at dinner.

This is something she made fun of me of. We were sitting at dinner. You're always cold. And I was bundled up. You look cold right now. I was bundled up and I was, my arms are crossed, I'm a little cold. And yeah, it was dinnertime

and I was sitting there just drinking a coffee. I don't know, I was like, I had forgotten to drink my afternoon coffee, so I'll have it for dinner. You do that if you forget to drink coffee, you have to have it at dinner? Not usually, but I did that day when I was bundled up. I felt, I guess I felt old.

And then the list wraps up with consistent napping. And not just consistent, but- I can nap, man. Quick, quick draw. I think a character trait of an old man is the ability to nap in any position, in any place, immediately. And like, we'll go into our office, like if we're having a long day of shooting or whatever,

we'll go into our office sometimes to like eat our lunch. And then we've got like 10 minutes before we gotta be back and shooting again. And you'll like sit in a chair. It's like an old man. Sitting up, to rest your eyes in like literally like 45 seconds, you're like, your mouth opens and you begin sleeping. I'm like, I mean, I could lay here on the couch

with no one in here and a pillow and a blanket. It's very old. For a long time, I would never go to bed. I just can't do it. I'm gonna be a great old man and I'm starting early. Well, the thing is is that I'm envious of this particular quality, but I'm fearful if you're this much of an old man now

and you're only gonna add things on top of it. I'm just, you'll be happy, but the people around you will be miserable. You know, you just gotta watch out. If you kept it at this, it's probably fine. Yeah. What is your favorite memory of your husband? Oh, this would be good.

This is like, like we're dead. So this is it. What is your favorite memory of your husband? This is what they're gonna say at the funeral. Christy said, when we were dating, he covered my car in heart-shaped Post-Its. I still have them. I think we have a picture of that

in the book of Mythicality. Yeah, we put it in the book of Mythicality. She wrote about it in the book of Mythicality. Maybe she forgot that. But yeah, we still have the Post-It notes. I mean, and then I wrote on one of them, I'm stuck on you, which is, she left that part out. But like, that's her favorite memory of me?

She had to go back pretty far. What have you been doing lately? You know, it's like, I mean. Sleeping and eating cereal in a float. favorite memory of me? She had to go back pretty far. What have you been doing lately? You know, it's like, I mean. Sleeping and eating cereal in a float. Hey, she's inviting. You're not really building the memories. Let's make memories, baby.

All you gotta do is. 20 years have passed. Well, when we were dating, he put some stickers on my car. Oh man, yeah, she's got some backhanded shit going on here, man. She's got some backhanded shit going on. She's hurting me. That's hilarious.

She is hurting me. I'm sure you've done things since then, it's just you never top that. Jessie said- Sometimes when you're filling out a survey, it's kind of like signing up for a new thing. You're like, hey, I need a new username and password right now.

It's like filling out one of those things for the kids to like go to the trampoline place. It's like, I don't know, he's 17. I'm just gonna go with my go-to memory. This is what Jessie said, her favorite memory of me was, "'That conversation in Palm Springs, "'when we stared into each other's eyes, "'talked about our life journey up until this point,

"'and both cried.'" Oh, wow. Is she speaking in code? This seems like something that was between the two of you and it should remain that way, so. Yeah, it was a moment of intense connection. Okay. A moment of intense connection.

Hey, you know what? I don't have any follow-up questions. She was pulling on my hair really hard, but I wasn't complaining, but I was farting. And she just deals with that. When did you realize that your husband was the one? Okay, Jessie said, it was lots of small moments.

The music he played that first time I got in his car, the questions he asked me while we waited for the very late locksmith on that bench outside a macaroni grill, watching him dance and act completely ridiculous in front of an auditorium full of people, and especially when he said, "'If you don't marry me, who the hell are you gonna marry?'

Hey, that's a pretty good line. It's like, what is? It's like business negotiation. It's like, who's gonna give you a better offer than this? Hold on, that makes it sound like she didn't have many. My wife had, if anything, had many suitors. But the, yeah, it was, you know- You didn't think highly of any of them apparently.

She was young, you know, she got married, I was 23, she was 20. We were on like even the early for North Carolina evangelical Christians in the 90s level timeline. So I think the answer to your question, if you don't marry me, who the hell are you gonna marry? I think the answer is, well, I mean, there's a lot of people, a lot of people that I know

and a lot of people I can meet. What I was- I'm only 20. What I was implying, and this says more about me than it does about her, I think, is I was saying, if you're not gonna marry me, please show me the man that you're gonna marry. You know, that's what- You were right for each other, and's what- And you knew that.

That's what I was thinking. What did Christie say? She realized that I was the one spending a summer in Santa Cruz away from him after my junior year in college. I kept a journal of all of the things I wanted to tell him, but felt like I couldn't yet. Because I was some robotic stick in the mud that was like, I don't know what love is.

Yeah, if she had shared that with you, it would have scared you off, probably at the time. Yeah, she shared it with me later. The flood gates opened when she returned from Santa Cruz and we got engaged that night. Yeah. That's a fond memory. What is one thing that is so classically your husband,

classic rat? Jesse says, talking about his food, enjoying his food, finishing his food really quickly. I mean, it is an ability. I'm having a good time when I'm eating, man. And I'm talking about it and I'm saying- It never adds up to me to like, for it to disappear so quickly, yet for you to be so engaged in it.

It makes sense on one level, but it's like, I felt like slowing down would help, but you tell me that's not the case. My philosophy, I know some people are like, why do you take the chocolate milk and drink it all in approximately seven seconds? And why don't you savor it? Why don't you stretch it out?

I'm like, I'm in it for the peak experience. I don't care how long it lasts. I want it to be as intense as possible. And seven seconds and one glass of milk will be more intense than seven minutes in one glass of milk. I'm about than seven minutes in one glass of milk. I'm about amplitude, man. I'm not about longitude or whatever the other part of,

I haven't taken that class in a long time. Yet along with that speed, you are giving constant commentary about how amazing it is. I mean, when we're on the show, I don't have peripheral vision because of these glasses. And then, I mean, I just hear you talking about the food and I assume you haven't eaten any either and I look over and it's literally, I don't have peripheral vision because of these glasses. And then, I mean, I just hear you talking about the food and I assume you haven't eaten any either. And I look over and it's literally, I don't know what,

I don't, I need to watch the show back just to know that you're actually eating it. Because from my experience, you never, you're talking about the food and then it must go, you must be doling it into the can. It goes straight into the can that is my mouth hole. This is funny because on our anniversary trip, the place that we were staying did,

there's not a lot of places to eat in Big Sur, so the place we were staying had a restaurant and would do dinner every night. And it was like a four course meal. And Jessie and I, but funny thing is, is Jesse loves to eat almost as much as I do and loves food almost as much as I do and eats not as quickly as me, but very quickly for just a normal person.

And what we realized on the second night, we realized that what we would do is we'd be talking, like our conversation is very, like there's not a lot of dull moments when we're on a date together, like we're talking constantly, right? And then the waiter sets a course down in front of us. And we realized, it took us two nights to realize this,

that every single time the waiter set down the food, we ate it in completion without speaking. You just stopped what you're doing. Stopped the conversation, down the food. We ate it in completion without speaking. You just stopped what you're doing. Stop the conversation, just eat it. There might be a conversation, there might be like a, this is really good, oh yeah, this is really good. The conversation is only about the food. If anything is said at all, and then it's like, it's gone.

By the, the waiter comes to check, oh, it's over. You guys finished, and then we get back into the conversation. We weren't proud of ourselves, but it was just a observation that like, man, we are really made for each other because, and Jessie said this, she was like, I went on dates with a few guys before you who, if food hit the table, it seemed like they just,

it just wasn't a part of, they didn't realize it. Like if I'm in a group and we're talking and food arrives and people don't stop and acknowledge it and begin eating, I'm like, well, you guys need to get your priorities straight. We need to eat the food and then talk to each other. And she's totally on the same page to the point of, we're not even speaking when we're eating. So find somebody who likes food

or hates food as much as you do. Christy said that what was classically me was walks around the house and checks to see if every light is off. Going back to this. While singing Trace Adkins, every light in the house is on. I do sing that.

But that makes it seem playful. You don't seem mad. Well, at first I'm like every light in the house is on. You know, it's like at first it is angry and then I realized this is a song. Front porch looks like Broadway lights. I don't even like this song. I'm not familiar with that song.

Kinda like noon in the dead of night. I couldn't have told you that was Trace Adkins. What does your husband do with the kids that drives you crazy? Okay, Christie said, Link has midnight raid the pantry and trash the kitchen sessions with Lily and Lincoln that looked like someone broke in our house

the next morning. Okay, that's fair. I do think that that was a very quarantine thing. And it's still a weekend thing. Yeah, I try to relegate it to the weekends now. Just the midnight kitchen raids. Yeah, I didn't know that you were part of these. The way that you talked about it

was as if your kids were just doing it. Yeah, I would get in on it. you talked about it was as if your kids were just doing it. Yeah, I would get in on it. Jesse said, again, this is, what does your husband do with the kids that drives you crazy? Joking with them that we would be happy if, insert something completely ridiculous here, that he doesn't really believe

but knows will push all my buttons. This feels like a very specific thing, so let me explain what I mean, because I do this a lot. So I've never heard you do this. I don't do this, I do this with Jessie because I did it one time and kind of was joking and it got on her nerves and then I just couldn't resist

to do it over and over again, especially when the kids are present, because I'll just be like, we'll be like being a different part of town. Man, if we lived in this part of town, we'd be happy. Or I see like a house up on a hill and it's really awesome. I'm like, man, if we lived in that house, we would definitely be truly happy.

So, and of course I'm joking, but- It's such a strange, I get it. It's a very Jim McLaughlin joke. It is a very strange, it's like once you know that it pushes her button, that's why it's funny. Like me saying that, me being discontented makes you, rubs you so much the wrong way

that now this is a joke. Or I will have an incredible meal and I'll be like, if we ate this meal every single night, we would be truly happy. And I'm doing it because I'm actually trying to, because there is a part of me that does think things like that. If we lived in that house, we'd be true.

I don't really think it, but there is a tendency to always think that the next thing is better or where you're not is better. If we lived here, it'd be better. And so by saying it in a joking way, I feel like I'm- Self-deprecating. Well, I'm calling it out in myself, but she has this thing,

especially when the kids were younger, she thought they're gonna believe that you, they're gonna grow up thinking that their dad always thought that if he lived behind like a giant gate in a castle, he would be truly happy. And now they just know that it's bullshit. Yeah, and it's like, or also be like, my dad, we did a lot of stuff and he was never happy.

I mean, it's like, it's pretty simple. What does your husband do with the kids that makes you extremely happy? Okay, Christie said, Link's nightly tuck-in routine with Lando, that's, I mean, it's very special for us. Also she wrote, Link always finds ways to connect with each kid on an individual basis. He watches every behind the scenes Lord of the Rings

with Lily and most recently bought one wheels for the boys to get them out of the house more. Really smart and totally worked. Well, it totally worked for me to then go buy one wheels for the boys to get them out of the house more. Really smart and totally worked. Well, it totally worked for me to then go buy one wheels too because Shepherd came over and tried them. Yeah, all part of my plan. Well, if you don't know what a one wheel is, it's a skateboard, electric skateboard with a big wheel

just in the middle and your feet go on either side of it and you lean forward and it goes. It can go up to like 18, 20 miles an hour. They're pretty awesome. A lot of fun. But yeah, but now my, well, Shepard has one. But yeah, it's like- Because Link got some for his kids.

But it's just, you know, I'm glad she appreciates that. I'm not doing this to make her happy. It's just she loves the kids as much, arguably more than I do. So it's nice that, you know, she's like, oh, he takes time to like do what they want to do. It just, it's really convenient

when it's also something I want to do. That's why I love having older kids because you can, it's the older they get, the easier it is to find things that you can get them to do because you wanna do it. Like I'm the one getting the one wheel ads on Instagram. I'm the one who's like noticing them around town and like having the idea.

I wanted a one wheel, but then it clicked into place when I'm like, this would be great for the boys. And I probably wouldn't have bought one if it wasn't for that. But like watching Lord of the Rings, I mean, it's like, this is no sacrifice. This is just, this is a win-win.

Well, everything that Jesse mentioned is something that I wanted to do anyway. Basketball and or horse. Horses is a basketball game, we don't have a horse. When Rhett gets home, watching scary movies together, taking the kids on adventures, hiking, camping, exploring, surfing, et cetera. And then she threw in apologizing when he screwed up.

Well, tell me more. Which is, I mean, often, and I- I would be happy if I didn't have to keep apologizing. I do regularly screw up as a father and I do regularly apologize to my kids. But they seem to appreciate it. Not the screwing up part, but the apologizing. Does your husband say or do anything to your pet or pets

that you wish he'd say or do to you? Another trap. Y'all trapping. Jesse said, everything. Literally every single thing he says or does to Barbara, I wish he'd do to me. I mean, I, you know, have her perch on you while you're stretching. Here's the thing is that, you know, have her perch on you while you're stretching.

Here's the thing is that, you know, she says I'm not a natural cuddler, but I am a natural cuddler with Barbara. I mean, I'm constantly, the funny thing is, is like- It's just a fur bag. I mean, of course you're so- I do so much ridiculous baby talk to Barbara constantly. And I tell her all this ridiculous stuff about who she is

and what she is capable of and where she's gonna go in life, which is probably nowhere. It's probably just gonna be in our house. But this is a routine. Yeah, I just love that dog to death. And I'll be saying these things. And then Jessie is like,

why don't you say that stuff to me? I'm like, you want me to tell you about how you're gonna go to doggy college? And have an incredible life? I have baby talk with Jade, but it's the opposite. Like, cause that, I was saying it's a routine. It's a comedy bit that you're doing with the dog. Cause like you give the right tone

and you know that she eats it up, but you're saying things that obviously she doesn't understand, which is funny. Yeah. And I do the same thing with Jade, but my angle is the opposite. I say things that are really mean, but I say it in a very sweet voice.

Like I say, you're just a bag of fur and bones, that's all you are. It's not too mean, but it's like, you're good for nothing. All you do is you get in my lap and I just like, rub this flesh bag of bones. She might be taking that to heart, you never know. She loves it. She loves every bit of it.

And now, I mean, and Jasper just cannot get enough love. He needs to just calm down. What did Christy say? He needs to just calm down. What did Christie say? What do I do with the dogs that he wishes, she wishes I do to her? She said spa day with the doggies. Okay, this is, which is true.

Spa day complete with full washing, massage, blowout and brushing. Like, yeah, I bathe the dogs in the garage and I have this whole- You do this every weekend? No, I mean, I probably should do it. I would like to do it once a month. Don't you get the dog groomed?

Not over COVID and not every time. Like for every one or two times that I wash the dog, we might get in a break. I love Barbara. I do not love giving her a bath. She, cause A, she doesn't like it. And B, it's just a wet dog. When there's a wet dog,

it's a totally different thing to me. They don't like it. Jade or Jasper don't like it, but it's still a bonding experience. I mean, I feel like I'm good at it. You're good. You can cut hair or be a dog groomer if it's your backup career.

Well, I don't cut their hair. No, I'm saying you cut people's hair. Yeah, I could do that. It is kind of related. Like I have this system of like washing and towel drying and then blow drying. I would like to see how aggressive this is. You've really got to blow dry the dog to get the poof.

And people, yeah, viewers will criticize me for manhandling my dogs, but like, they don't, my dogs love me, they do not care. I do not mind. I know they don't care. I'm just saying it is, it feels, it seems aggressive. And I'm just imagining that the scrubbing and stuff is probably pretty aggressive. They don't like it, so I go a little easier on her.

I could give Christina- But your wife wants, basically what we're getting at is your wife wants an aggressive washing. Yeah, an aggressive washing and a blowout. What's the most thoughtful thing your husband has done for you recently? Okay, so here's your opportunity to shine. I mean, 20 years ago, you did the sticky notes.

Yeah, recently. What have you done lately? Thanks for adding that. What have we done lately? Okay, Christie said, last summer when I was really sick, he would play Ray LaMontagne's, "'We'll Make It Through," a very special song for us. And he would hold me in bed

until I was ready to start the day. Wow, that's pretty good. That's so sweet. For our trip this past weekend, the present she gave me was Ray LaMontagne's record with this song on it. Yeah, and I remember we did a, Britton and I did a listening party around that time

and I put that song on there because it was, yeah, it was helping us get through and it was very special. Apparently a thoughtful thing. The most thoughtful thing. Recently. Jesse said he makes the most delicious Saturday morning scrambles shirtless for two. And he wrote and recorded a song about our relationship

for me on Valentine's day. Mythical society perhaps? No, for now it's just for her. Yeah, I got into the scramble thing. I heard about it. Yeah, Christy gives me some subtle digs about that you have a scramble thing. I heard about it. Yeah, Christy gives me some subtle digs about that you have a scramble morning. Scramble morning.

Well, I like to cook a lot and I've been doing it for years for myself, just like my kids are weird about what they wanna eat and Jessie also has like, she's usually like not really doing carbs or whatever. And so I just kind of feel like I'm on my own a lot of times. And so I'll just go feel like I'm on my own a lot of times. And so I'll just go in there and be like, all right,

what do we have in the fridge that needs gotten rid of, make a scramble. But then at some point in during COVID, she was like, well, you're gonna make enough for me? And now it's the thing. She likes me to, and you know, yeah, and I keep my shirt off. I don't know why, but she requested.

It's Saturday and I'm in my house. It's like getting like egg spatter on your belly button. I mean, isn't that kind of the height of the frying pan? Your belly button? I got really long arms. What's the craziest thing your husband has done for you? Jesse said, I mean, the Momoa book coupled with the 40th birthday video

that included some guy from the insane clown posse saying he wanted to 69 me 69 ways. Can't top that. That's true, that's true. I think it was 69, 69 times. Yeah, there's only one way. There's only one way to 69, but you can't do it multiple times. She got it wrong, there's only one way. There's only one way to 69, but you can do it multiple times.

She got it wrong. You need to call her. Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do for 41, but I knocked 40 out of the park. Nothing, it resets. You started doing nothing. Yeah. Craziest thing that I've done for Christy apparently is

I gave plasma on a weekly basis in college to fund our dates. This is true. And I still dealt with needle trauma and still do. Yeah. We were telling our neighbors, we went, we did a double date with our neighbors and like somehow that story came up. I think it was fresh on our mind from this or something.

To get like, we both go to like the edge of campus and you'd have this like place where they would suck the blood out of your body into a machine, take the plasma out to make like cosmetics and other things. Well, the other things, like yeah. There's a lot of things you could do with plasma. And then they would reverse the system

and put your blood back into your body. Still don't know how you did it. I mean, I was doing it as well, but you were freaking, I thought you just couldn't handle it. And we would get like- 20 bucks. 20 bucks cash. And you could go twice a week. And all you had to do is sit in a chair

and watch Incredible Hulk on the television. And wait for April to come up and change your needle out. Oh yeah. I mean, that was pretty dedicated. Okay, who would you pick to play your husband in a biopic? Or as we called it until like last year, a biopic. I still think biopic makes more sense. It still seems like it should be biopic.

I mean, I know biopic. I know what it stands for. Like biography? Biopic. A biopic, that's how you would say it. Yeah, that's a biopic. A biopic, that's how you would say it. Yeah, that's a biopic. Biography, biography. And who would you pick to play yourself?

Okay, Christy said Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. I'd love to see them act together, first of all. Is this a Hallmark movie? Tim McGraw's an actor. This is a CMT movie. Do they have those? Yeah, I'm sure they both acted in that kind of thing. I mean, when Faith Hill was at the top of her game

when we were in high school, Christy did cosplay as Faith Hill to their dance. She wore a white dress that looked like a Faith Hill dress. I saw it, we saw it in concert back then in like the 90s. I remember she was there with- I didn't go. Did I? I think the Brooks and Dunn show,

Faith Hill was open for them. That might seem right. I could be wrong though. All right. Jessie picked two actors. Okay. She, Jessie said Momoa, obviously, and Katherine Hahn.

Who is that? For me, she's the one that played the neighbor in WandaVision. Oh. Which I was like, oh, and the reason that she's saying that is because when that show was out, everyone was telling her, you look like Catherine Han.

Yeah, brunette and boisterous. Okay, what was your first impression of your husband? Okay, so we're going back in time. Christy said, this guy wears really big pants with way too many pockets, but his eyes are incredible. See, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That picture, the picture of the night we met

at the roller skating rink is in the book of mythicality. Yeah. So you could actually see my pants if you wanted to. Jessie said, tall, of course. Intriguing. See, intriguing. I think that's what she meant to say earlier when she said enigmatic.

Well, no, because listen, she says intriguing, funny, unlike any other person I've ever met. One of a kind. An enigma. I think maybe- An enigma, there's a secretive mask component. There's a hidden compartment. This is the way she talks about it.

She talks about it like you were from this place that all the other guys that I had ever dated or talked to were from, but you seem like you weren't from this place, but you were from this place. What is it about you? You're an enigma. Okay, well, I'm magnetic.

What is one thing most people don't know about your husband? Jesse said. That's a good question. He's incredibly generous. Generous? You're talking about charity? How much money are you giving to charity?

Come on, come out with it. You want to break out the QuickBooks? What context is she talking about here? She talking about like time, money, advice? I think she's talking about if I'm presented with, if someone comes to me with a need, you know, or somebody presents a problem or whatever, I really enjoy being able to help.

But also, I mean, that's why, that's a big reason that I like cooking for people. It's like, it's a, and not only is it fun for me, but like I- It's true, you don't charge for it. I like being like, hey, look at this thing that you get to enjoy.

I like giving that way or like, hey, here's a, I mean, you may not say like, I don't think of Rhett as a gift giver. I'm not really much of a gift giver, but I think it's just whether it's my time or doing something for somebody or- Why do you think I keep hanging around? Yeah, right.

Christie said that the one thing most people don't know about your husband is he blow dries his entire body every morning. I think I've told everyone this. I think I've been very open about my full body blow drying. Yeah, she's just not listening to every episode of AirBnbs. Yeah, she's like-

She's like, surely no one knows this. Surely he hasn't told everyone about that. I mean, I will say, I try to do it when she's not in the bathroom and it is a bit embarrassing when you're like, when your legs are spread out so your ankles are as far from each other as they can be

and your head is down between your knees and you're blow drying up into your undercarriage. You know they make a dryer that you can install in your shower. You don't really want anyone to walk in at that point. You know about the shower dryer. Even a dog. Right? Like I've had a dog walk in on me blow drying myself

and just kind of look at me, shake his head and walk back out. But you know that there is a technology where you can put a dryer in your shower. I think that that uses too much energy. I bet you it's more efficient than just sitting there with a damn blow dryer. You know what?

Well, not with my techniques. You know what Christy got me for my birthday? A fancy blow dryer. That's what she bought me, a Dyson blow dryer, like the one that Ana has. Yeah. Like that special futuristic looking. Jesse got that.

Oh, I love it. Well, I used it, well, Jesse used it last night and it was a very interesting application that I'm only thinking about because you're talking about this. Last night, I was getting ready to go to bed and Jesse was like, I gotta getting ready to go to bed and Jessie was like, I gotta put the sheets on the bed.

And she was like, she put the mattress cover over the mattress and then we like put the sheets on the bed and did that stupid comforter that you have to like do inside out and like tie. I hate making beds. But anyway, so then we get into bed and she's like, oh man, the mattress cover's a little wet.

Do you feel that? And I was like, yeah, it's a little damp. And I wasn't even thinking about it until you said something. She goes to the bathroom. She gets the Dyson. She gets the Dyson. She lifts up the covers. She starts blow drying.

Oh, I don't know how much that thing costs, but it's good. Let me tell you right now. Did it dry? Well, I don't know how much drying it did, but I told her, I was like, this is incredible. Like, is there an invention here? Like the fact that you're now blowing hot air on my legs in the bed.

Exactly. Like right when I got into the bed. Yeah, and spread your legs and see what happens. And then Barbara, most dogs are scared of blow dryers. Like Barbara jumps up there. Not if you hold them down aggressively. Yeah. Barbara jumps up and then Barbara starts getting

into the blow drying stream. Yeah. She's like this and she starts going under the covers. She's into it. And it's just me and Barbara getting blow dried by Jessie in the bed. This is a thing, yeah. I'm gonna get one of these.

And then I was like, can we do this every night? Yeah, and you can have a cold blast too. You can just have someone down there at the foot of your bed and they can push the cold blast. Okay, last three questions. Well, just actually two. Oh yeah, last two questions. Okay, North Carolina or California?

If I'd have really looked at this ahead of time, I'd be like, let's take that question off. I don't know if I want to hear Christy's answer. I'd be scared. Okay. But here's what Christy said. My heart is divided, but I am most definitely a cowgirl living in Los Angeles.

So yeah, it's like a little bit of both, which I totally get. And I'm not afraid of the answer. I knew this is what Jessie would say unequivocally. Well, she said California. So yeah, we spent enough time in North Carolina. It's not that we didn't enjoy our time there, it's we spent the first half of our lives there.

We haven't, I mean, and we haven't been home in so long. It's like, I mean, we're about to go home for a while and you'll see how that impacts Christy's answer. All right, let's get to this last one. If you could describe your life as a TV show or movie, what would it be and why? Okay, well, okay, yeah, I guess I could have guessed this is the direction that Christy would go in.

Christy said, survivor. You know, we are, we are still, I mean, here's what we've done. We watched all the best episodes of Survivor. And now we are going back and rewatching episodes that feature characters that we've grown to love in seasons that could potentially suck. And we'll watch until that person that we like is voted off

and then we'll stop and then go to another season and keep watching until it's not good anymore. And I just learned there's a South African survivor series as well as an Australian one. So are you opening up the vault and you're going through those? I think so. I don't know if when Lily goes off to college,

if the whole survivor thing will, and as we get totally out of the pandemic, if it will become a thing of the past. Is it still happening nightly? Yeah. Well, now it's just the nights where no one has plans. Okay, because things are starting to happen. Yeah, I mean, it would be every single night,

even the weekends, and now it might be, we're saying things like, I've been missing survivors, it's been four now it might be, we're saying things like, I've been missing Survivor, it's been four nights, you know, so, cause we're like, somebody will have plans. So Chrissy said, Survivor, we are a tribe of humans struggling through challenges, searching for rewards, and occasionally wanting to vote one another out.

Tell me about it. Oh, I love that. What did Jessie say? Jessie said, lost. We've got a lock and a shepherd who are main characters. True. We ended up in a place we did not expect. Every episode ends with more questions than answers.

The soundtrack is good. The sweet moments keep you coming back for more, even when some wild shit goes down. In the end, we all make it to heaven, even if that pisses a bunch of people off. Spoiler alert. That is great. Wow.

We all make it to heaven, even if that pisses a bunch of people off. Yeah, that's good. Wow, there's a lot that works there. Mm-hmm. You know what, we got some good wives, man. We are hashtag blessed, man. Yes, thank you to Jessie and Christy

for taking the time to share those things with us and vicariously with you. They know us so well. Yeah, that was fun. Yet they still love us. Do you have a recommendation? Oh crap, recommendation. You know what, I wanna recommend the audio book

for Seth Rogen's book, yearbook. And I think you might've already recommended that. I don't think I recommended it on Ear Biscuits. I recommended it on Twitter. You told me to listen to Seth Rogen's autobiography yearbook on audio book, and I started doing it. And it starts off funny,

but then once he gets in like the industry stories that he starts telling, I mean, it's just stories. Just what happened, he just has so many good stories. I'll be honest, I don't think I've ever seen a Seth Rogen movie. Really? I know it's not surprising in anybody because it's coming from me, but I'm actually surprised.

There's no way that's true. That I've not seen. You've seen Superbad. If I have, I don't remember. You told me that you watched Superbad. I know for a fact you've seen Superbad. Maybe I fell asleep. Anyway, my point really is that, okay,

maybe I've seen Superbad, but I don't remember, but it doesn't matter. The dude is just such a likable guy with great stories. And I kind of love the tone of it. I mean, it's what you would expect from Seth Rogen. It can be over the edge depending on where your edge is. Well, and he gets- And he's just so unabashed.

And the audio book, I'm sure it's great as a book, but the audio book in particular, he gets where he can, he gets the people who are actually featured in the stories to read their lines. Or some actors to play his parents and stuff like that. And then if you can't get the person, he gets an actor. So it's a fun listen.

I'm specifically recommending listening to it. Yeah, when he gets somebody, and you could tell that he was just like, "'Hey, so-and-so, I need you to record this." And they were just like, "'I'll just record it to my phone. You know, cause it's like, Right, cause it's one line.

It's just, I love the way it came together. I recommend it. He's living his best life. He's also doing pottery. You made me watch it, so now I'm making them watch it. Or listen to it. I mean, you can watch the cursor moving as it goes. All right.

Hi, Brett and Link. This is Pibbery from Fort Collins, Colorado. I love your podcast. I listen to every new episode. And granted, I'm an oldies fan, but I do want to say after listening to today's episode about your wild horses story, But I do want to say after listening to today's episode about your wild horses story, shortly after that, wild horses came on my shuffle. So I just wanted to give you guys a shout out and hello from Colorado.

Bye.