Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Our 2023 Purchases | Ear Biscuits Ep. 406

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

It’s that time of year again – the guys are going over their purchases of 2023! They discuss some of the things they’ve bought that have brought them joy this year, but first, Link has an accident that he has never experienced as an adult. Grab your Depends and tune in! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. We interrupt your podcast to bring you breaking news. Tim's Classic Breakfast Sandwiches are just $3 when you buy any size coffee. You heard that right, $3. Your mornings will never be the same. Plus tax, Canada only, limited time only, terms apply, see app for details. It's time for Tim's. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time.

I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the Roundtable of Dim Lighting, we are doing what has become somewhat of a tradition, and we are going through our top purchases of the year. See what we can learn about each other from the things that we have chosen to enhance our lives with. Okay. And I look back. There's a number of things that I've mentioned throughout the year.

I tried to bring some new things to the list. Oh, you assume everybody listens to every single episode? Yeah. For those that do, I love you. And second of all, I don't want to bore you with the same story. What if you make it even more interesting? What if you lie about it? Is it supposed to be top purchases?

To me, it's just purchases. I mean, I included things that I thought. Did you rank yours? No, I didn't rank them. I included things that I thought might be fun to talk about. Okay, yeah, I kind of did that. And the next episode is definitely my favorite recurring episode where we talk about our top moments of the year.

So be ready for that. I have to break with the theme of this episode and not talk about a purchase at all first because there's something that happened to me. Well, maybe you could say it's something that I did. Okay. Maybe you could say it's something that I did to myself over my Thanksgiving break that I have not told you about.

And you mean to tell me by the fact that there's no twinkle in your eye right now. You pulled a muscle? That you have not heard through my wife to your wife that something happened? You know. Because trust me, you would know. I hear so many things about things that. I know you do. Things that go wrong in your life

that makes its way to me via your wife to my wife. It could just all blend together when you start talking about, oh yeah, I heard about. I think this one stands. You running over the baby giraffe. No, dude, this one stands out. Okay, then maybe I haven't heard about it. I think this might be...

The dumbest thing you've ever done. No, but it might be one of the most embarrassing things that I'm deciding to share on the internet. Okay. I'm not really that embarrassed by it, but I don't know, Maybe I'll get embarrassed. You should be. I don't even know what it is, but you should be.

Well, I was like, it's just one of those things where I just started thinking, well, at least I can talk about it on the podcast. Right. You know, that will redeem this. And it made me feel better knowing that I was going to share it with you. I'll be the judge of that. So for Thanksgiving, we just spent a couple of days back in North Carolina. Me, Christy, and Lando flew back. Of course, the older kids off at college, they weren't able to leave when we left.

Because it wasn't even really Thanksgiving. It was the weekend before, and then we wanted to be back by proper Thanksgiving so that Lily and Lincoln could come back into town, and we could have a Thanksgiving at the house. Now that the majority of our kids are out of the house, it definitely feels different, and it definitely feels different, I mean, than just having one out of the house. When they come back home for Thanksgiving, I'm actually starting to experience something that didn't happen with just Lily.

And I don't even remember how Thanksgiving worked the previous year. I think we all came to North Carolina. But anyway. You burned the ham. No, that was two years ago. Last year was the first year. You warmed. I got the honey baked ham.

I got that again this year. It's pricey, but it's worth it. So, yeah, it definitely feels different to have the kids come back home and you're experiencing Thanksgiving in that way. So we had a good time. But when I was in North Carolina, because we didn't have the older kids with us, we were able to stay at my mom's house again, which is something that we used to do. Okay.

But in the last few years, the kids are getting older. They're getting bigger. Bigger beds. Bigger beds. Bigger beds. Bigger rooms. Need for more space. We kind of stay at an Airbnb and then we visit my mom a lot. They can't get in the race car beds anymore.

Right. All the other, well, the blow-up mattresses, all three lined up in the living room floor. It's a lot. But we were excited to do that again now that it was just Lando, so it was like a blast from the past. So we're staying three nights at Mom's house, and the back – so Lando sleeps in the living room on the blow-up mattress, and Christy and I sleep back on the double bed in the back of the hall there across the hallway from mom's bedroom. And so we're trying to get used to sleeping in double bed again, even though that's what we did for the majority of our marriage. And you're trying to guess what happened?

Yeah, and I hope what I just thought of didn't happen, so I'll just log it. Yeah, log it and tell me later when it's not it what you think it is. I certainly hope it is what happened, though. What's the best way to say this? I think I just need to come out and say it. I wet the bed. Okay. That wasn't what I was thinking.

I peed myself in the bed. Okay. Like, and I'm not talking about a trickle. You went for it. I'm talking about... Full empty. Well, this is what happened. I can't laugh at you too much because I was a bed wetter. I was not a bedwetter as a kid.

Let me tell you what happened. Okay, okay. I just remember, you know, with the time change and everything. Yeah, that was it. I remember that I was asleep, and then all of a sudden, it was starting to be light outside because Christy woke me up getting out of bed, presumably to go pee. And at that point, I remember thinking to myself, man, I really have to pee as well. Oh, so you were awake at one point. I was awake enough to think that. I really need to pee as well. Oh, so you remember you were awake at one point.

I was awake enough to think that. I really need to pee as well. But I also really want to sleep some more. So I went back to sleep. Lethal combination. By the time Christy got back in the bed, she didn't wake me up when she got back in the bed. I don't remember any of that.

And time passed. It wasn't like immediate or anything. Time passed because Christy was totally asleep. And it takes her a while to get back to sleep. Next thing I know, it's just, it's warm and wet down there. I'm laying on my back. Did you catch yourself? And it was like warm and wet all over my crotch, which is the source of pee. Yeah, that's usually how it works. And I wake up just a little bit, and I like, my hand was here on my belt line, and my hand was wet,

and I threw the covers off of one hand, and I think I pinched the hose with the other. I think I grabbed the hose. Because it was still going. It was still going. Right. That's usually how it happens. It was still going.

And I throw the covers off, and I run to the bathroom, and I'm talking about a lot of pee. Running down my legs pee. Both legs. I might need to drag a mop down the hallway level of pee. And I go in the bathroom, and then I like, I sat down on the toilet because I was just too discombobulated to stand. And there was a lot more of the package to be delivered.

So yeah, I did cut off the flow. But not before I completely wet myself. And the sheets. Yeah, the bed too. How much got on the bed? There was this... It spilled over my hip into a puddle, yeah. You knew that this wasn't something

you could get away with without talking to someone about it. Right. Well, and then I'm like, I'm so freaking soaked, I just immediately get in the shower. And then Christy was like, yeah, I heard the...

I, like, woke up, and it was early, and, like, I heard the shower. And then Christy was like, yeah, I heard the... I, like, woke up, and it was early, and, like, I heard the shower. But when I came back in the room, she was still asleep. I was like, well, I'm not... Hold on, so you wet it when she was next to you? Yeah. Oh, I thought...

Okay, okay, because she went to the bathroom, and then that got you thinking about pee. She got back in the bed, went back to sleep. I went back to sleep. Did it leak to her side? Did she come in contact with it? No, it was on my left side. That's not long enough, yeah.

And I was... Put a test how it works. I was quite embarrassed at the time. Yeah, I understand that. And then I'm like, sleeping on the couch for a little bit. But I was like, yeah, Christy, I wet the bed. And she was like, you peed the bed or something else?

And I was like, no, it was definitely pee. I definitely know the difference. I mean, with a puddle that big, well, that's a – I mean, I would have a different career trajectory, I think, if it wasn't pee and the puddle was that big is all I'm saying. Money shot. Did you, you were, obviously you were a little embarrassed. We'll talk about that. Yeah.

But were you also. I was embarrassed to tell my mommy. Mommy. Were you concerned about like, is something wrong with me? Because I've wet the bed once. We can talk about, I don't remember the details, but I wet the bed once as an adult. You have?

Yeah. I have never wet the bed as an adult. It was never a challenge for me as a kid, so there was no, like, throwback or anything. But let me tell you, the next three mornings, I was really nervous. Like, the moment I woke up, I was like, oh, do I need to pee? I do need to pee. I better get up. And Chris, even the second morning, like, when I started to stir a little bit, Christy rolls over wide awake. She's like,

do you need to pee? Yeah, right. You might need to go to the bathroom. Did you already pee yourself? We were a little nervous about it. Yeah, I was like, is this some sort of a prostate thing? I don't know. I'm 45. Does it mean something emotionally? Oh, no. I thought physically. Yeah.

It's like me getting old. But emotionally, yeah. But they say, as a bed wetter, I should know this. Like, I wet the bed, I don't know. I don't know how old I was. But, like, beyond when you were supposed to be. Like, to be classified as a bed wetter. Like, I remember wetting the bed, right? Still as a kid, though. Yeah, I meanting the bed, right? Still as a kid though.

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't like in my teenage years. It was like, you know, like six, seven years old, eight years old maybe. You wet the bed occasionally and it was like embarrassing. And they say that it means something. You know what I'm saying? Not physically, like there's something psychological and emotional. I'm not going down that path. No, right.

So I overcame it, and then what I have experienced as a – and I think this is – you tell me if this is a common experience. Sometimes you have to pee so bad while you're sleeping that you dream about peeing. Does that happen to you? I don't remember if I was having a dream, but I have to think – No, no, no. Has that ever happened to you? I don't remember if I was having a dream, but I have to think. Has that ever happened to you? It has not happened to me, but I have to think that's what was happening, and I just don't remember the dream.

For me to completely release my bladder on myself, I had to be dreaming that I was peeing because it was the last thing I thought as I was falling back asleep was I do need to pee. Right. And I was like, I'm not gonna think about it beyond this. I'm not gonna make this into a thing besides a story. You didn't go on Reddit? I did not.

You go on Reddit for everything. I'm not, no. Go on Reddit and be like, adult bedwetting one time. No, no. Here's what I thought. There might be a whole subreddit. I said, if it happens twice more, maybe once more, but I said to myself, if this happens twice more, then I'll start searching about it. But I am not.

It probably won't, though. I am not going down that path after wetting one little bed. It was a new bed. It was a new bed? It was a new bed. I did it in my own bed. How old were you? Were you married? Oh, this is in the past 10 years.

Oh, really? Okay, so let me go back. So I would do it as a kid, super embarrassing. It was like, you know, I think at one point we got like a... You have to tell your parents. Like a mattress cover or something, you know? It happened occasionally. It happened often enough that we had to, like, take precautions.

And this is embarrassing. You don't want to be known as a bed wetter. Yeah. And then, of course, I overcome it, and I don't think about it ever again. But throughout my life, I've had what I thought was a common experience, which is, like, if you have to pee and you're still in bed and you're dreaming, a lot of times you'll have dreams about having to pee. Like, you'll have to pee in your dream. Makes sense. And what I have found is that it is not uncommon if I'm having a dream where I

have to urinate that I will urinate in my dream and then wake up and realize that I haven't urinated, I just really needed to. And so, because sometimes you'll like, literally in a dream, you'll find a urinal, or I will. I don't know about you. And you'll empty it, and you'll be like, man, I'm there for a while, and then you'll go on on your dream, and then you're like, shit, I still gotta urinate, because you haven't actually,

your bladder is feeling the pressure. Single dream going to multiple urinals? Yeah, sometimes. Three, four, maybe. That is strange, dude. That is strange. And I don't, well, I don't think it is strange. What I'm saying is that I venture to guess that this is a common experience of people having to pee.

This is what you need to call in about. 1-888- EarPod1! That's the number one. However- We want you to tell- I need to know if you peed yourself in a bed as an adult. I need to know that Rhett made me feel better, but I need you to make me feel better by telling me you do it.

Or that you've done it. Jenna? Jamie? You care to weigh in on this? I have stories. But it could be for another day. Another day. If we get enough voicemails, we can talk about it and make it a whole episode.

Yeah, there we go. Well, there we go. Okay, well that feels good. This episode is not about urination stories. We got. We could talk about it and make it a whole episode. Yeah, there we go. Well, there we go. Okay, well, that feels good. This episode is not about urination stories. We got other things to talk about. We've been through things. Yeah, I've been through things. I have not, but I have had the dreams of having,

and then waking up being like, oh, I need to pee, but like in my dream, I'm like trying to find a bathroom. Okay, good. So I've had that. I'm not crazy. If you're peeing in your dream but not peeing in reality, that's a, that's, that is a, I mean, that's like, that's a dichotomy, that's a powerful dichotomy.

The scary thing is, is the time, because every time that happens and then I wake up and the thing that was the impetus to wake me up was the fact that I have to pee so bad, and I was peeing in my dream, I have these flashbacks to being a little kid who peed in his bed, and I'm like, oh shit, did I do it? Did I pee in my bed? And it never happens, except one time, when I started peeing in my dream, and then I woke

up with the sensation of warmth spreading. And I immediately caught myself and stopped. Did you pinch the hose? It didn't... I didn't have enough that it leaked over my shorts and down into the bed. It didn't wet the mattress. It wet my underwear. And I was like, what the hell? And then I was like, hold on.

Maybe this was a weird wet dream. I was trying to find any other explanation other than, oh, shit, I've wet the bed again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think I went – I like took my underwear off and peed and then went back to bed and kind of forgot about it until you just brought this story up. Because you never told me. I mean the moment I've – the first opportunity I've had to do it For public consumption I told you about it But I was worried that it might mean

That something had happened to me like Psychologically Oh I wasn't thinking it was a physical problem But it hasn't happened again And it's been years But you are afraid of it So you're

Now I'm afraid of it Nobody wants to pee the bed I'm afraid of it Nobody wants to pee the bed I'm afraid of it now You should be And as we get older We're gonna be You know they say You get up and pee

In the middle of the night Yeah and I haven't I'm 46 and that And somebody who hydrates a lot I'm surprised that you don't Have to do that I don't have to do that yet I did however

Just last night 3 a.m. You hear When Sean hits the floor Yeah Is when he's ready. And he got his timing off or something, so I had to take him out to pee and poop in the middle of the night. And while I was up, I peed.

And I was like, whoa, this is a lot of pee. I was like, I guess I was going to make it until 6 o'clock with all this pee. And I would have any other night. You thought about it, though. You got a little scared. What is the thing that you thought I was going to say before we moved on to your purchases? I thought that you got into bed with your mom thinking it was your wife.

Oh, man. That could have been weird. The way you set it up was like, I want you to call me and tell me if you have gotten into bed with your mom... And that's why I started laughing. ...thinking it was your wife. Because it was like...

If you have done that, you need to call us too. Middle of the night, double bed, like, it's not your home. You hang a right instead of a left. Left or right, yeah. That's what I thought you were gonna say. And you got in and didn't realize it until the morning. The morning. When you were peeing yourself. When you peed on her. When you woke your mom up peeing on you.

Mommy! Now, what did your mom think about, what did Sue say about this? When you said, did you tell her you peed yourself? I did. Okay. I did. She was very nonjudgmental. That's good.

She's the perfect mom that she always is. She was like, well, do you want sausage and eggs? What can make it better? Do you want grits? Do you want grits? Do you want to stuff some grits in there next time? Do you want some grits? Do you want to stop it up?

I think that was literally her response. Do you want some grits? Okay, so she wasn't worried. Christy wasn't worried. But Lando wanted, I mean, when we come back home, I told Lando, he's telling, I mean, like we come back home, I told Lando, he's telling, I mean, like, Lincoln comes home, walks in the door. Dad, tell Lincoln what you did.

Kind of a thing. Then Lily comes in. Hey, Lily, ask Dad what he did. Ask Dad what he did. I was like, this is my story to tell on my terms. Well, I think it's also your kid's story. No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, when your dad pees himself, you get to tell that story.

Like you write that in your memoir, trust me. All the embarrassing stuff that you've done. Well, all the stories that I've told, they're going in your kid's memoir. At least tangentially include them. They definitely have the right to tell any story they want about me, and I'm okay with it. Well, I wouldn't worry too much. I've done it once.

You've done it once as an adult. Yeah, but Jenna's, I think, done it a lot. So I think we're waiting on your calls to bring Jenna out of hiding. Now, Jenna, not to make any assumptions, but I don't know if being in an altered state qualifies as a real experience. Okay, okay. We're just talking about two completely

sober men pissing themselves in bed. Then I have never done that. It's a different thing, you know? I have illness stories that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's different. It's a different thing, you know? I have illness stories that are worse, but that's different. Okay, okay. Also altered state. Let's get to talking about top purchases of 2023.

But you know what? We would like to maybe inform some of your potential top purchases that can still be made in 2023. You like that transition? You're talking about mythical.com. As you know, we've been doing the pin of the month every single month this year. You know, we sell out for 24 hours. This year's or this month's pin is my face as a Christmas face,

if you remember that song that we did a while back. Yeah, your beard became a Christmas tree. And not everyone has been able to keep up with getting the pin of the month. And so what we're doing is for that same 24 hours, we're releasing every pin that we have sold for 2023, all 12 of them that you can get. So you can make up for any of the pin gaps that you want to fill. That's mythical.com.

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All right. You didn't rank your purchases. I didn't rank them, but I mean, they're in, you know, they're in an order that I thought might help with interest. Okay. Starting with low interest. Yeah, I mean... I was going too low.

I purchased a chainmail scrubber. Chainmail as in like what a knight in medieval times would wear as underwear? Yeah. Or whatever. Protection, yeah. So if you have... Chainmail. Or whatever Protection, yeah So if you have Chain mail So I've really been cooking a lot With the cast iron skillet

Right? And almost exclusively If I'm gonna cook something on the stove I'm using the cast iron skillet I've got a big one And I've got a smaller one And you're dressed as a knight And as you know

You're not supposed to wash. I mean, it's actually a little bit. It's not technically true, but you don't wash a cast iron skillet in the same way that you wash a nonstick pan or a stainless steel pan, right? You season it. seasoning on it, which is a misnomer a bit because it really is just like a layer of polymers from there being fat in the pan and then it getting to a certain temperature and it basically creates a nonstick surface. But then you have to really care for this. It does impact the taste of everything that you've cooked in this pan to be in there like seasoning. And maybe that's where the word comes from. I don't know. I don't know. Josh could probably tell me this. But really what you're trying to do is you're trying to create a nonstick surface, not a surface that makes everything taste a certain way.

Okay. It's a nonstick surface. But you do want to clean it. In fact, you want to get the other food out of there. And so most of the time, if you've got a really good nonstick surface, like what I do is I finish cooking and then I immediately just put it under water. And most of the time, everything that was in that pan just cooked because I've got a well-seasoned pan. It kind of just washes right off and then I put some oil on it, heat it up,

and, you know, it's just kind of keep it going. But if you get something in your pan that doesn't come out when you just spray water on it, there's this chain mail that is wrapped around rubber in a circle that you just keep right there in a little holster inside your sink, and you just rub it. You just rub it. So if it doesn't clean chain mail, it's chain mail that cleans. It's chain mail that cleans, that gets all the little bits off without

compromising your nonstick layer. It's been a game changer for me, because what I was doing is I was putting coarse salt into, a lot of people do this. Yeah, yeah, I do it. Coarse salt in there and moving it around and stuff. And I still do that. The salt absorbs the blackness and then you... And it actually...

...break it into the... It's an abrasive, you know, and that... But I think that this works better. Personally, it's easier. You don't have to do the salt and then get it out. Just... And because the chainmail, it's like loops. It doesn't scratch.

It doesn't scratch. Huh. Chainmail scrubber. How much do you pay for that, roughly? Unfortunately, I did not put the price down, and it's no longer a clickable ring. You don't remember? I mean, we're talking less than $10. I mean, this is not an expensive item.

Okay. Get one if you've got cast iron. The first purchase item I want to talk about is the Picutie. It's the word cute with the letters P and E in front of it. Picutie. Dog basket for bike. Okay. And I throw this in an Amazon cart, and we have a family thread.

It's called FAM. And again, now that the majority of our kids are out of the house, we've started this family thread, and we've gotten decent at putting stuff in there. You know, just kind of, you know, and then you can evaluate. If everybody doesn't respond in some way, then it's like, all right, then you start to keep a record. And it's like, well, do I need to give so-and-so a call?

What's going on here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Family thread is like a nice innocuous way to just keep in touch. We're like one of the first generations, if not the first generation, to have a family text thread for your immediate family. Isn't that because our parents didn't have that? Well, the fact that we call it a text thread, I've been told by my kids,

severely dates us. It is a group chat, but I cannot not call it a text thread. Group chat. Group chat is what it's actually called. They gave me so much shit about that, and I cannot stop saying it. Text thread. Group chat. Group chat is what it's actually called. Like, they gave me so much shit about that, and I cannot stop saying it. But text thread. It's a text thread to us. But it's a group chat. It's a group chat. Anyway, in the group chat, I don't know if it was, I think it was Lincoln first, because

he'll order some stuff using his mama's Amazon account, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And now every time I order stuff, I have to – I really have to note that shipping address. Yep. I'm like, oh, I'm about to ship my Pecutie dog basket for bike to Lincoln's dorm room. Yeah, I don't want that. I don't want that because the dog ain't there. But he goes in there, and so he put in the text that he was like, I think it was him.

It could have been Lily. Dad, what are you doing? And I was like, what? He was like, there's a dog basket for a bike in the Amazon cart. He's like keeping tabs on me through the Amazon cart. He's like, he's like keeping tabs on me through the Amazon cart. And then like, Lily was like, what,

hold on. Is there, what's going on here? They started to become concerned for whatever dog or dogs I was going to be presumably biking around.

You don't have a great track record. Yeah. In fact. It was a year ago that I broke my collarbone on my mountain bike, and all I have is a mountain bike. You recently hurt your wrist, but that wasn't on the bike. That was the one wheel. Yeah, but I don't have a beach cruiser.

They know that the only bike that I have is a full suspension mountain bike. And then I'm like, yeah, I'm about to add a dog helmet to the Amazon car. Don't worry. Hold on. Is that a real thing? No. I was joking. Oh.

And, yes, this thing shows up. Maybe it could be, though. You mount it on the front of the handlebars. So it's like, and then you put a dog in it, and you can like. I'm familiar with A bike basket You've seen I've seen Mary Poppins

Sound of music I think you're talking about Wizard of Oz I don't know I've seen a woman With a bike basket In a classic film I think that's

And I've also just like Been to Venice Beach That's where you could Come to my house Yeah yeah So yeah I put this. I got a bike basket because Jasper, every morning, he's like, he's so eager when he hops out of bed.

He loves to walk. The moment I stir, he's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's time to walk. Oh, it's another day when I get to take a walk. Oh, I'm going to walk right now. Oh, my God. It's time to walk. Oh, it's another day when I get to take a walk. Oh, I'm going to walk right now. Oh, my God. He just moved.

He's a preacher. That means he's going to walk. It's time for a walk. That's how he is. So every morning, it's for a year now, I've gotten in the habit of taking. I used to just take him for a walk. And I was like, Jade, you need to start taking a walk. And Jade's, she's gotten bigger.

She's gotten buff as a result of me walking her every morning. Okay, I question this, but I haven't seen her, so I don't know. When the kids came home for Thanksgiving, they were like, why is Jade's, she's like. Her chest has gotten more developed? Her chest is more buff. She's doing something else.

She's doing work, she's working out on the side. I don't know, and I was like, do you think something's wrong with her? I think walking trims you. Does it bulk you? You think when you get up? I don't think it bulks you up. She's getting, maybe it's just in her older age.

Did you change her diet? In her, no, did not change her diet. In her older age, I think she's kind of getting fluffier in her upper torso. But I also like to think that she's in better shape because I've been walking her. Well, she probably is. But you know who's not in better shape? Me. You.

Because Jasper guilts me into walking him every single morning. And I used to go – there were stretches before I broke my collarbone that I would go biking at least every single morning. And I used to go... There were stretches before I broke my collarbone that I would go biking at least every other morning, maybe every morning. So I was like, what am I going to do? I got to start... I got to get back on my bike. I got to do some form of workout beyond just walking these dogs every morning. Well, how fast do you walk? I don't even walk that fast.

I mean... Well, if you just pick up the pace a little bit, he probably would like it, and then you basically get a good workout in. Well, but Jay can't keep up. Ankle weights. Ankle weights? Yeah. And arm weights.

Okay. Speedwalk it. That's not... Well, that was not my idea. I'm just trying to solve problems here. My idea was, well, if I want to go biking, and I don't want to feel guilty for leaving Jasper at home because he will make me feel guilty.

The moment I come back from biking, he's just sitting there just like, we didn't walk. We didn't walk. You left. You must have walked without me. Yeah. Well, why couldn't I have walked with you? I can smell it on you Why couldn't I?

I can smell the walk on you It's like You walked without me You know And I feel horrible Yeah you should So I'm like I'm going to have my cake

And eat it too I'm gonna ride my bike And I'm gonna And my dog's gonna go with me But is that good enough for him? Is that what he wants? Or does he want to actually walk? He's got the FOMO.

I thought maybe that would do it. So I got the thing, and I strapped it on there, and I put him in it, and I'm driving around the cul-de-sac, and he's like, you leash him in so he can't jump out because he seemed like he might want to jump out. But he wasn't scared. So then I got up the next morning. I drove to the place where I mountain bike, more of a flatter place,

but still with some single track. Okay. And once I got to a place where I didn't think there was anybody else, my plan was to let him out of the basket. So, like, he's in the basket, and we're riding, like, Dorothy and Toto, and then we get to the single track, and I take him out of the basket. I just put him down beside me, and I just start riding my mountain bike. And then now I'm that cool guy who mountain bikes with his dog chasing him.

Hey, isn't this great? Not really. How did that go? Because I started meeting people who were jogging on this path Or riding bikes on the path And I would get out of the way on my bike And then I would look behind me and Jasper would just like He would not move

Yeah, right He knew no trail etiquette Yeah I'm like apologizing for my dog. And like then all these other bikers are like, oh, you know, and then it's like somebody had another dog on a leash. And I got a dog and he's not on a leash. And like I'm irresponsible. So then when I got through that part, I'm like, ah, you got to stay in the basket.

You're still having fun. Having a bonding time. And I rode him around. We got back home. I didn't feel guilty. But I started looking on Reddit. I follow a mountain biking thread. And the thing I never noticed until this point was people occasionally will post videos of themselves like doing jumps or like doing all types of stuff for people to analyze them and sometimes they'll have their dogs chasing them and every time the comments are just full of people criticizing the fact that you're doing this yeah and i started reading it and there's a lot of compelling reasons like like more than i can count for two hands. For everyone's sake, your dogs and- For everyone's sake, it's not only an inconsiderate idea,

but it's not a good idea. It's not a safe idea. So you're going to go basket only next time. I'm saying he's only going to be in the basket. No. You're saying you're not going to do it at all. No, because I can't do anything worth doing with him in the basket, because then what if I fall again?

I couldn't live with myself if I broke my collarbone and his. So what are you going to do with the basket? It also is a backpack. So maybe if I hike with him and Jade gets tired, I'll put him in there, but it's kind of like a loss. Okay, well, I'm sorry for you. But you know what? I was just,

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. And apparently my kids knew it from the moment they saw it in the Amazon cart that whatever plan you have, Dad, run it by us next time. That's why I have a different account. Listen, I pay a little bit extra. I need that accountability. To have my own Amazon Prime. Because sometimes you might want to buy something that you don't want the kids

to know about, you know? And I'm not just talking about like a surprise for them. Okay. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I mean, what do you do when you want to do that? I like to go in person.

No, I don't buy it through Amazon. Yeah. I don't, yeah. You talking about dildos? Yeah. That's cool, man. That's cool that you brought that up. I don't want my kids knowing about the dildos that I buy.

I'm sitting in my son's dorm room. Yeah, right, yeah. Exactly. That can't happen with my system. Oh, gosh. I'll cover two. I'm assuming I've got more things than you. Yeah, I don't really have much else. I have some things, but I have not much else that I'm excited to talk about.

I talked about this, but I don't think I said exactly what it was. The Dr. Scholl's Go Sockless Cushioning Insoles. The Terry Cloth Insoles. I can't recommend those enough. Now the weather's a little bit too cold. I'm not loafing it, but I can't wait for the weather to warm up again next year. Is it Terry Cloth? Am I right about that?

Yeah, but I don't think it has to be. It's like a wash rag in your loafer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to hit that again. Yeah, hit that again. Hit that, yeah, hit that again. So the other thing that was a pretty significant purchase for me is you may remember on GMM, I don't know if it was, oh, it was that, maybe it was a more where we had all those squishy toys, right? all those squishy toys, right? And I never thought of myself as much of a squishy guy until we got that freaking piece of bread,

that squishy piece of bread. Is it the same one? There was the lemon with the eyeball. I don't know if it was the same episode or not. I know about the bread, though. I think it was actually, maybe it was earlier. We were like, let's try these different squishies. I think it was.

And it was a slice of bread. It was a slice of bread. Like if you just saw it on the ground, you'd be like, oh, somebody left bread on the ground. Until you picked it up and tried to eat it, and then you died from choking on latex. And I brought it with us. First of all, I just found myself wanting to touch it. Now, I'm a guy who likes to touch rocks, okay?

What? I like smooth rocks. So I do have a little bit of a texture thing. You know, there are people who like to touch things. You like to touch smooth rocks? And so I like a good smooth rock. I got some smooth rocks in my office in a little wooden bowl, and sometimes I'll just take it and I'll just hold it,

and something about the texture is comforting, right? I didn't know this about you uh I've never seen you do that yeah you're too busy wetting a bed um don't you uh-uh that this is not a runner this is not the thing we keep bringing back up again uh yeah I don't do it often, but I do have it. So, but something about the squishy nature of this thing. I just felt myself wanting to touch it and wanting to stretch it. Yeah. And then we had a weekend with friends. Right. And I don't know, at some point.

When we went to Big Sur. We went to Big Sur. We had cabins. And I let everyone touch my bread. And in fact, maybe even encouraged everyone to touch it. Yeah. And there was a moment at which music was playing. Yep.

And there was a guitar solo. Right. And I don't know who started it, but at some point we all started taking turns playing the bread as if it were making the sounds of the guitar. You talk about a good party. And it was so much fun. It's better than a pie eating contest.

Yeah. And so, first of all, I made a decision in that moment that, like, I'm going to be a man who likes squishy things, and I'm going to be a man who gives squishy bread to people. Oh. So I bought, I don't know how many of our friends listen to this podcast, so I might be spoiling the surprise,

but the next time that group of people gets together, I've got a slice of bread for every person. You have a loaf's worth of squishy bread? And I have a loaf. So I have two, you've seen the loaf I've got. I've got a loaf that looks like

a nice baked piece of bread with like a glossy top. But it doesn't feel as good. It's not as stretchy. I got that just to experiment. I've got that. I like it. But you can't play that bread as well as you can play my stretchy bread. Right. When B.B. King has really been in that note, you want to pull that bread. Yeah. Pull it. Right. Because just to pull that bread. Yeah. Pull it.

Right, because just to be totally clear about the playing of the bread, picture air guitar. But bread. But squishy bread. Squishy bread. And it can be stretched. So you can just sit there and you can noodle on it.

And you're smushing it with your fingertips. It feels so good. As if you're like Eddie Van Halen doing some finger tapping. You can really do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. But that is a common technique. We discovered that you can do pretty much anything you want, and that can include stretching. Stretching at the right time is really, it's a crowd pleaser.

It creates like a neck. I got a lot of laughs at stretching at the right time. Right. And in the contraction at the right time. Oh, yeah, you got to come back. You can't just stay stretched. And you can't stretch too far because you don't want to break it. If you break the bread in the middle of a solo,

it's almost as bad as... I feel like welcome to my world of satisfaction because here's why this bread that you've discovered is so great. Like, you know it's great when you touch it and you squeeze it and your mouth starts salivating. Not because you want to eat bread, but because you're so satisfied with the squishiness.

I didn't know that. I don't know if that happened to me. Next time you play the bread, pay attention to if you're slobbering. Well, you like to eat dog food, though. I bet you. Shut up. I bet you do. I bet you do. And listen, if you have an urge, first you have an awareness that there's something inside of this squishy bread that is viscous and that makes it squishy.

And that makes it squishy. But then you have this urge to push it to the breaking point, to pierce it, to squirt it. And you're resisting that. And so there's this, I don't know what you would call it. tension. It's like you're on the edge of just compromising your slice of bread. I haven't broken it. And I will say, we played that bread. But you want to a little bit, right? We played that bread. Yeah. We played that bread so hard that- That's the appeal. The crust wore off of it. So now it's just all white. It looks like an Uncrustable.

No, the ones I bought, I didn't even take them out of the package because I'm handing them in the package to each person. I got a whole thing, a bread ceremony. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to be Mr. Bread. I don't know. I don't want to overthink it. I mean, everybody doesn't even live in this state.

No, but we were all planning on getting back together. You're waiting for that. And I got to wait until they had to get my bread? You can go ahead and give me my bread. No, but we were all planning on getting back together. You're waiting for that. And I got to wait until they had to get my bread? You could go ahead and give me my bread. No, no, no, no. You could be part of the bread ceremony. I know. I don't want to wait for that.

It'll be worth it. Delay gratification. You're going to love it. It is truly great. Where do people get this bread? Do you want to tell them? I got it on Amazon. There's a number of them, but the one I got is Toast Sliced Bread Stress Toy.

Toast Sliced Bread Stress Toy. I think this might be clickable. Not a sponsor, but we have sold the hell out of this bread. I'm telling you. There's some that are really cheap. I got the one that was more expensive because I was worried. Yeah. I mean, I think I paid like $9 a piece for like eight pieces of bread.

I paid $72 for fake bread. Hey, hey. This is the most money I've ever spent on fake bread. I would, you should buy the cheap. Probably the most money I've ever spent on bread. You should, yeah. You should have bought the cheaper one, too, because I want to know if, is it the same? It's probably the same.

I don't know. I feel like I got a good one. Because the thing I don't want the same. I don't know. I feel like I got a good one. Because the thing I don't want to do is I don't want somebody playing the bread for it to pop. Right. Because that will ruin it for everyone. But getting as close as you can to that? Yeah, you want to think that it's going to pop,

but you don't want it to pop. It's not going to pop. It's not going to pop, but you want to make it pop a little bit. Okay, what else you got? Oh, what else I got? Because, I mean, I've got quite a list here. Not a sponsor, though I think it was a Mythical Kitchen sponsor, and a lot of people are sponsoring this thing now,

including the whole Snoop Dogg thing. Oh, solo stove. I bought a solo stove, which they're saying is like, it's a fire pit, and it's smokeless. I got one for the creative house. Been enjoying that thing. Did you use the corporate card for that? Yeah.

Well, yeah. You should. But, I mean, I don't know. We bought. I feel like this is maybe a technical violation. We bought a solo stove. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You haven't even used it. Yeah, I have. I threw some logs on it stove Yeah, yeah, yeah You haven't even used it

Yeah, I have I threw some logs on it Oh yeah, that night Yeah Where was the bread that night? Bread should have been there Um, no, no, no The big loaf was there

Oh, oh And the little loaf was there I played the bread that night The little loaf Don't you remember? You didn't play it memorably Uh, I did play it But it was different.

Listen, that wasn't the group. That wasn't the group for the bread ceremony. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. I did play it, though. It wasn't the same. I will admit it wasn't the same. Again, they're not a sponsor, but because...

And there's some other competitors I just can't vouch for them, but I can vouch for the Solo stuff, and they come in different sizes. They're pretty damn pricey. I think it's all hype. I know. Because, you know, Snoop did his whole, I'm giving up smoke. Right. I mean, how much did that man get paid for that? Oh my God. How much did that man get paid for that?

Oh my God. I was telling everybody that Snoop stopped smoking weed. I'm telling my in-laws over Thanksgiving. I did not fall for it. I did not. You thought it was an ad the whole time? Of course. It's Snoop Dogg. I mean, him or Shaq, you know he's selling something.

Okay, no, no. I'm questioning your timeline. I think you found out about it once everyone knew it was an ad. I thought he was gonna launch an edible. Yeah, but he said he was giving up smoke. He said smoke.

Yeah, so you, so, well, I'm not saying I didn't think he was gonna be doing edibles. I'm just saying I thought that he was saying that he was legitimately, we were never gonna see him with a joint. Well, that's what he wanted you to think. But that's what I didn't think. Do you feel cheated? It did feel a little cheap, yeah, when he was selling the solo stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how much did he get paid for that? How much did he get paid?

Not enough, probably. Well. Not enough. With the amount you pay for these things, they could probably afford to turn around and pay him. So what is it? 400 bucks? I can't remember. I did get the biggest one. And then the accessories are exorbitant. So you got to watch yourself.

But I will say, there's just something magical about like burning wood in a social setting. But you don't want to have that smoke chasing you around where you're like, oh, I got to move my chair. I got to move my chair. And it smokes it first. Once you get a couple of logs going, then it stops.

It does stop smoking. And does it stop smoking because of the airflow? Yes. So it also goes through more wood faster. It eats through some wood. Yeah. But there is no smoke. It's just an amazing fire. It's. But there is no smoke. It's just an amazing fire.

It's so hot there's no smoke. Jenna, you've seen it. Yeah. Yeah. My aunt and uncle have one as well at their house. It's awesome. But. I will say it does smoke when the log that you put in there has plastic wrapped around it.

Yeah. Yeah, you got it. That's what you did. It was dark. It was really dark. And we had... You've been playing quite a bit of toast already. You got all the wood,

and it was all wrapped up, and I'm out there cutting it, and then I'm like, I can't see anything, but I don't think there's any plastic on this. And me and water standing next to the fire, and I'm like, that thing,

for something that's not supposed to smoke, that is some black smoke. That is some toxic smoke coming out of that thing. Yeah, it will smoke if you put plastic in it. That's mine. What else you got? I was at the dentist earlier in the year, and I already told you about my issue with trying to,

they're making me come back every four months because of how quickly the buildup comes back. Yeah. And they're like, it's something to do with your saliva or whatever. And they're like, you got to be flossing, you got to be, so I'm doing everything. They blamed your spit. Yeah, it's something about, so it's not – sometimes it can have nothing to do –

You got sugary spit. It can – it doesn't have anything to do with sugar. It has to do with the pH or something. Okay. And so I'm like, well, it's never been a problem before. But, you know, you get older, things change. So I – she's like, what floss do you use? I'm like, you know, the one that you get at the store.

I don't think about it or whatever. And she's like, oh, you don't need to use like a waxed. You don't need to use a waxed floss. That's not doing anything. That might be dislodging some food, but there's no abrasive nature to it. Oh. So she's like, you need to get some floss. That actually hurts.

That's dry. And so I found this floss that's made from coconut. Cocoa floss. Biodegradable or something? Cocoa. I mean, it's vegan and cruelty free. All right. Anyway, cocoa floss.

Probably the most expensive floss that I've ever bought. It's not as expensive as fake bread. Is it in a big roll or because it's from a coconut, it's shorter strands? It looks the same. It comes in a pack of three. I don't know. It's probably like $20 for three. You'll never go through it all. You'll stop flossing. I've already been through it and I bought more. I floss every single night. You'll never go through it all. You'll stop flossing. I've already been through it, and I bought more. I floss every single night.

You're still doing that. Without exception. I don't care how tired I am. I don't care what I've been doing. I'm like, you floss, and then you brush your teeth with the electric toothbrush,

and you wash your face, no matter what. You better do it. That's how you talk to yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you do that, you can play the bread. You can't play that bread You better do it. That's how you talk to yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you do that, you can play the bread. You can't play that bread until you floss, brush, and wash your face. So I've been doing it, and listen, I go to the dentist on Friday, and so...

You're hoping. And because we've been so busy, I had to postpone my dentist appointment twice, so it's been like seven months. But boy, if they give me a bad report, I'm going to be so disappointed. But I've been using this stuff, so I'll let you know if it was worth it, but it feels good, and you feel like you're getting stuff. You feel like you're rubbing the side of your tooth. You're becoming obsessive, man, in your age.

Every single time that I go to the dentist, they tell me I got a problem. I never had a problem. Your problem is your health anxiety, and you know that. No. When the doctor tells you that you have a problem, that's not anxiety. When you tell yourself that you have a problem and WebMD is where you go, that's health anxiety. But when you start flossing every day... You're supposed to floss every day. No, but nobody... No. They say that so that you'll do it occasionally.

Okay. When all your teeth fall out of your head. Hey, I'm the one who's chewed 30 times in his entire life because I... Yeah, you're like an elephant and your teeth, your molars are gonna wear out. I'm just saying. I'm trying to spare you. Like, I spent my whole life meticulously trying to be perfect. And now, you're trying... What? What is that? It was just a good setup for a joke, but I won't make the joke. No, make it. I can take it. I've spent my entire life trying to be perfect.

Yeah. Trying. That's it? Yeah, something. Okay. Wasn't that... That wasn't even good. Anyway, you should have this floss because even if you don't, what kind of floss are you using? I don't. Equate?

I don't floss. At all? If I eat corn or ribs, I'll break out some string. Yeah, you're right. Otherwise. How are you getting in between your teeth? What are you doing? I use my tongue. Yeah. Otherwise. How are you getting in between your teeth? What are you doing? I use my tongue.

Your tongue cannot remove plaque. Don't you tell me what my tongue can't do. Between your teeth. You ever heard of a silver tongue devil? Yeah. Well, don't you think he can remove plaque? I don't know what you're trying to say at this point, honestly. No, after a meal, I'll use my tongue to explore my teeth

and make sure there's nothing in there. But this is the thing. And I know that you're talking about scraping plaque. My flossing, because I actually feel very differently about this, my flossing, because I actually feel very differently about this. My flossing is unrelated. It's actually a good, like for me, it's good. My health anxiety, health anxiety is when you think about something that isn't happening. And you worry about something that might happen.

Okay, that's true. And so I have that problem, but this is not that problem. This is actually good because it's real. Just don't, well. And I'm being told by my doctor to do it, my dentist. Just don't brush your teeth too hard because they also told me that. Yeah, I don't do that. I don't brush them too hard.

I might brush them too often. Well, twice a day. All right, I'll let you off the hook. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no.

What about hello, handsome? Who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not with opening moves you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches then sit back and let your matches start the chat download bumble and try it for yourself i bought um uh what am i gonna tell you that i bought um What am I going to tell you that I bought? This is actually Christy's purchase, but I did want to talk about it. I don't think I've told this story.

Okay. Again, maybe a violation of the rule, but okay. I just don't buy interesting things. But I thought this was interesting. She bought a handheld carbon monoxide detector. And I don't think I told this story on the podcast. Forgive me if I have. But, like, you know, back early this year, we went to Cabo,

and we went with a couple of friends, and we, like, stayed in this place, and it was, like, this nice resort where you had, like, different cabana-type things, and then there's a fire pit, and we and we're like hanging out by the fire pit. And then a couple of weeks later, Christy sends me this article and she's like, this couple was at the resort

and she started to figure out that she thought they were in like the same room that our friends were in or in one just like the one our friends were in. And you can see where this is going.

They started to feel sick and then they went to the urgent care and then they checked them out since they started to feel better they didn't discover anything they went back to resort went back to bed and woke up the next morning dead from carbon monoxide poisoning oh jen Jenna, you think that's funny? Waking up in the morning dead is funny to me. They probably didn't wake up. It feels like we had a brush with carbon monoxide poisoning ourselves because the gas line was messed up at the fire pit that we were at, and then we had to call the guy out there to get the fire pit going,

and apparently some of it in one of these places was leaking into a bedroom. And they didn't have carbon monoxide detectors installed. That feels like a problem. I think that's a problem. And it should be, like... And I'm not going to say, well, it's Mexico, because I don't think that's true either. But it probably is the law in America for people to have carbon monoxide.

Well, let me tell you this. Every other place that we've gone, including our own bedroom, you best believe that Chris has been firing up that carbon monoxide detector. How often does she do it? Oh, she's... Every night? She's got a holster for it. She sleeps with it.

And what does it do? She might have a little bit of what you got. You know what I'm saying? She might have a little bit more than I got. She might have a little bit more than what you got. Based on my conversations with her. Right. Yeah, so she never detected any carbon monoxide.

Right. It'll probably stay that way. So maybe the detector's not working, what I tell her. You need a detector for the detector working, what I tell her. You need a detector for the detector, is what I told her. Well, you need to go into an environment that you know

is compromised. Or send someone, maybe. Is she doing it at your house? I've seen it out, yeah. And how does it work? We do have carbon monoxide detectors. They're in our fire detectors. You just hold it up into the air?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a handheld. And it gives you a ding. You're good to go. Keep breathing. Just think about it. If there's a circular one you can mount to your ceiling. If it doesn't go off, it's good.

It's a handheld one. Yeah. Should you hold it up to your face? Why do you ask that? Because I'm a silver-tongued devil? Because a lot of hot air comes out of your face. A lot of hot air. Does she hold it up to your face?

It would probably detect. Actually, it would detect. If it doesn't detect, is it carbon dioxide that comes out of your mouth? Not carbon monoxide. I believe it is. Yeah, that's a different thing. You might have some monoxide. I don't know. I mean, I get...

I mean, I don't know. You're starting to wet the bed as an adult. I don't know what's going on. You might have monoxide coming out of your mouth. Three strikes, you're out, man. Okay. I bought something that I feel like I ended up making you buy that you probably forgotten about, which might be the most significant purchase you've made all year.

I think it may have been, it probably wasn't as much as that solo stove, but we paid for that together. You know what I'm talking about? What genre are we in? It was a situation- Can you buy it at Walmart? No, it was a situation in which I do the thing that I do,

which is when I get into something, I get equipped, properly equipped. Are you talking about a GPS? No. For the solo trip? I bought a satellite tracker. I already had that satellite phone. I bought one because you had one. Yeah, yeah. And you know what?

I was looking out for you. Yeah. No. I bought something and you were there when I bought it and you were like, okay, I guess I'll buy it too. You bought the same exact one that I bought. And I'm telling you, it had to be one of your biggest purchases of the year.

You're talking about solar panels? No. No, we were in a store together, buying things to get ready for something. Buying things to get ready for something? Something that I started doing because you started doing it. But then the way I did it was the way that I do it. Skiing and snowboarding? No, but close. An activity.

Uh... I'm glad that, you know what this... What kind of activity? This represents growth for you because you didn't register that you spent like 350 bucks on a bag. A bag? Oh, a scuba bag! Yeah, the dive bag.

Oh, yes! I was looking at it the other day, I was like, damn, I bought that bag. And I could see the pain in your eyes when you bought it, too. You're right! Because we were going to go on the scuba trip, the one where we saw the orcas and all that, and we were at Hollywood Divers. Shout out to Hollywood Divers. Right. That's our dive shop. I had to get a warmer suit for myself, which was a splurge.

We got all this. You've got your mask and your fins and your wetsuit, and you've got the things that you don't want to have to keep renting every time. But then what are you going to do with it? Put it in a trash bag? No, you're going to put it in a dive bag that has wheels so that me and Shepard can put all our shit in one bag. And, you're going to put it in a dive bag that has wheels. Yeah. So that me and Shepard can put all our shit in one bag.

And I'm just looking at the bags. I'm like, well, that one looks like the best one. That's what I'm going to get. And then you look at me. I'm like, I don't think I need a bag. Yeah. And then you bought it. And I can, and you, but like, you've used it more than me.

Cause you went diving again. I haven't been diving since that point. Since that you went, you, you, you went diving with Lincoln. You used it. Yeah me because you went diving again. I haven't been diving since that point. Since that. You went diving with Lincoln. You used it. Yeah. It's a good bag. It's a great bag.

It's a great bag. I almost used it twice, but the conditions weren't. Oh, yeah. You were going to go back and see the seals give birth. The conditions. The guy called it off the day before. Yeah, I bought a bag. And you know what?

Since then, this has been the year of me buying bags. It's a bag year. My fanny bag. Yeah, I bought a bag. And you know what? Since then, this has been the year of me buying bags. You know, I talk about my fanny bag, my sling bag. I am still fully committed to going with that thing everywhere. And I do it. And then I bought a weekend pack to go along with it, that it goes in the top of it. And then I bought Christ weekend pack to go along with it, that it goes in the top of it. And then I bought Christy one. A weekend pack?

We're going to go to New Zealand, and we're going to be outdoor trekking people, and we're going to have these bags. I went on the Cotopaxi website, and I just got enamored with this stuff. You'll fall for bags, which is why I thought I was doing you a favor when I got a really nice bag. And then I got a new laptop bag from them. Yep. Did you notice that?

Today was the first day I brought it in. Did you notice it? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's hard to keep up with how many bags you got. 100% recycled materials to make these bags, and I just like their ethos. I gotta get a good bag for all the bread I'm gonna give them. You know what else I bought? I bought a toiletry

bag. I got a new backpack, a new toiletry bag. I got Christy a backpack. I got me a weekend backpack. Does your toiletry bag, can you hook it and then it unravels? No. Oh, I figured you would've done that. No. And for Christmas, I bought myself a snowboard.

That was my big one. And then, and boots. Yeah. Oh, that costs more than a bag. Because Lincoln is like, he wants to get into snowboarding. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to get back into snowboarding. I can do it.

Little Michael can do it. So that was my big Christmas present to myself. And then I'm like, and you know what I need? A bag. I need a bag for my snowboard. You got to buy a bag. So here I am. Thanks to you.

Yeah. I think, yeah, I didn't trace it back. I opened your year to bags. You're my bag boy. Yep. You've opened up my world of bags. And it's like, I'll open up a box. I broke the seal.

And there'll be an, I'm like a, like, my mother-in-law is obsessed with purses. Yep. And now I get it. Right. I totally get it. Oh, I wonder how, when I open up this bag, I wonder how many zippers and how many other pockets are going to be inside of it. How am I going to be able to organize everything and have everything? It's like, it feels good.

It feels almost as good as playing bread. But not as good as playing bread. And you know what? Once you give me that bread, I'll probably need a bag to carry it in. Maybe I'll give everybody a little Crown Royal bag for their bread. I'm going to keep my bread in my fanny pack. I'm going to keep it with me at all times. Well, I mean, I have been thinking not just about giving bread to that group,

but I've been thinking about, you know, as I've been talking about having these events, they're still very, like, nebulous in my mind. But I have been thinking that one of the things that I would like to do if the event was not too big is to always have maybe bread for everybody, but a different kind of bread. Like, everybody gets, like, a biscuit. Like, maybe the sliced bread is just for that group. But then, oh, if you go to a party at Red Sauce,

he'll give you some squishy biscuits. Squishy biscuit party? Just something. Just something like that. Just so they have something to remember, you know? I think you should say, shall we break bread together? And then they all try to break it, and they can't because it's squishy.

Almost break bread. It's a prank. Almost break bread together. I think this might play into your Jesus complex. Jesus complex? You can't tell somebody that they have a Jesus complex. Just because I get accused of looking like the Mormon Jesus on a regular basis doesn't mean I have a Jesus complex.

Isn't that what it is? When you're mistaken... The loaves and the fishes. When you're mistaken for maybe trying to do, like maybe you're the backup guy on the Chosen series or something like that. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus complex.

Yeah, but that's, I mean, that's, I don't know if that's a complex. I think that's just opportunistic. But maybe I do need to get some squishy fish too as well. You're multiplying the bread. Maybe if I get some squishy fish. Yeah, fish. The loaves and the fishes is what I'm saying.

Maybe I just have Swedish fish, and they're squishy, but you can eat them. Loaves and fishes. There you go. That's your party. I purchased, as you know, I have somewhat of a smart home, where I like to say things to my home, and then my home does things. Right? Yeah.

Not everything is smart, but as many lights as possible are those Lutron lights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? You told us about this last year or two years ago. Yeah, but I'm telling you about the update. First of all, have you ever, have you Lutroned yet? No. You don't have any Lutroned? I've Wiimote. Right, but you can, like, when you go to bed,

you don't have to worry that you've left lights on. No. Okay, just making sure. Well. A few lights, but keep going. Jessie, when she redid the outside area in our home, she wanted a fountain, you know just a little fountain that trinkled some water right yeah I know what a fountain is and as

you know as you have experienced one of my favorite things to do at my house is to touch rocks watch is to the fountain, is to watch television outside. Okay, yes. And I had you over for my birthday party, and we did that. And... Thank you. Now, when I say... Fountain. Hey, Google, outdoor movie.

The fountain turns off? The fountain turns off. That fountain is so damn loud. The lights change, but the fountain turns off? The fountain turns off. That fountain is so damn loud. The lights change, but the fountain goes off because Lutron makes a weatherproof outdoor smart plug that's just an on-off switch. Right. So you can just plug anything into it. Yeah.

Even a fountain. Your light's outside. It's not just for fountains, but like- Your voice controls water. You have an Aquaman complex. No, that's still kind of a Jesus complex. Well, it's a just for fountains, but like... Your voice controls water. You have an Aquaman complex. No, that's still kind of a Jesus complex. Well, it's a Jason Momoa complex. Well, no, because...

And we know you have that. Jesus could make... He could walk on water, and he could turn the water to wine. I still think we're squarely in Jesus territory. Can Aquaman make fountains stop? I have not watched those movies. I think he just has a trident. Not a sponsor.

Because of gum. Because of gum. I don't want to talk about anything else I bought. Really? I feel like it's only been met with ridicule. Every time I say something, you say that I'm Jesus. Well, yeah, I ridicule you. You ridicule my purchases.

And that hurts. What was the last thing you said? I didn't ridicule it. What was it? Well, you said that it didn't count. You said none of my things count. No, I say that you violated some unofficial rules of the list, which is something that you bought for yourself.

Okay. Not something you bought for us or something your wife bought. But if that's the way that you need to fill out your list, then maybe we'll just amendfficial rules of the list, which is something that you bought for yourself. Okay. Not something you bought for us or something your wife bought. But if that's the way that you need to fill out your list, then maybe we'll just amend the rules. I'm not a stickler for rules. You know that. My last thing, UAR, that is a Y-U-O-Y-A-R, UAR, two-pack sunglasses holder.

Another bag, really. Well, it's a clip. It's a clip. It's a kind of bag. You put it, you're driving, and you got a bunch of glasses, and you feel like wearing a certain type of glasses. And so on my visor in my car, I have bought, I actually bought multiple sets of these. I have three clips and three different types of glasses in my car. And then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do Christy a favor, and I got two in Christy's car. One of them's for my glasses. And yeah,

because it's like, I don't like, I have to switch my prescription of my sunglasses. Okay, so that's two clips. Maybe. Just so you're saying that... And then I have other tight, I have sunglasses that I can also read with, but that make me sick when I drive with. And those were up there, but then those were replaced. They're all up there convenient. But just in your car, what do you do when you drive your wife's car? I have them in there too, and I have different sunglasses in there.

You got sunglasses just for your wife's car? Yeah, prescription sunglasses. It's a safety thing. That's a different set? Yeah. Okay, what about when you drive some, when you steal a car? Well now I have my fanny pack, which I carry with me at all times.

You can't be thwarted at this point. Nope. That's the last thing you're gonna talk about? I'm done. I've gotta speed through a few. I am so done with this. One of my most significant purchases of this year is those Hocus I got,

those comfortable shoes that were prominently featured in our, we took a Nat video. Decent Nat. They floated. Yeah. You know, I got to say, most comfortable pair of shoes that I've ever had, the Bondi 8s. If you're in the market to walk on clouds, I'm just going to tell you, you got to get some.

I got one of those little MIDI controllers. Oh, yeah, that's cool. The Akai, I guess it is. A-K-A-I. Akai. Just really small. Put it in your laptop bag. It just looks like a miniature keyboard.

Yeah, but, you know, we've been making a lot more music for the Rhett and Link channel. And also, like like we did the the the GMM intro this year and that was all done on that little keyboard

right like not having to like we've been doing a lot more of our own music making and producing versus farming we still farm stuff out

and still get people to help us with things but like I don't know there's a whole little world that's opened up on that thing you keep it in your laptop bag? I do it's in my car right now still get people to help us with things. But like, I don't know, there's a whole little world that's opened up on that thing.

You keep it in your laptop bag? I do. It's in my car right now. It's just on the back of my car. You could travel with it. You could travel with it. Yeah. I highly recommend that. I got, because, you know,

we're going back to North Carolina more often, and I really, like, flying with a guitar guitar is like you don't want to do that. You know, there's so many horror stories about that. I was like, I got to get me like a solid acoustic guitar to have in North Carolina. It would be my North Carolina guitar. Oh. Right? You know, it's like my home guitar.

And I'm going to go to Harry's Guitars. Remember Harry's Guitars in Raleigh? Yeah. Which moved. It moved. It's a different location. It Guitars in Raleigh? Yeah. Which moved. It moved. It's a different location. It's not in downtown Raleigh anymore. I don't care.

But it's just, I mean, it was a little disappointing, but it moved, but it's bigger. Okay. I haven't told you about this guitar. I didn't know you bought a guitar. I mean, why didn't you just take one? You didn't want to fly with one that you have here? You got four here, right? Well, half of them, my kids play them.

My kids break them. I've got, my kids have broken so many of my guitars. Okay. And I got a Guild. You've seen the Guild? You've seen those Guild guitars? Yeah, yeah. Like a Guild acoustic guitar?

It's just like they're like 140. It's like, you know, like a Guild acoustic guitar? It's just like they're like 140. It's like the bass, the lowest level solid top. You mean Gildan. No. The T-shirts. It plays so good. I never picked up a Guild guitar. Butter?

It's just so, I love it. It's great. What's the bread factor? It's got probably 8 out of 10 on bread. Okay. It's not as good as the bread. Wow. I bought a robe this year.

I bought a robe. Yeah. We get robes for free for some reason. Yet you still had to buy one. Well, we get YouTube robes that say Good Mythical Morning on them and things like that. I don't want to be that guy.

What's your YouTube channel? Look at my robe. I've got a Wingstop robe. Again, Wingstop sent us a robe. In fact, the other night, Jessie comes out with a robe and she says, why do we have a Wingstop robe?

I'm like, baby, you married the right guy. Lifestyle. You married a man baby, you married the right guy. Lifestyle. You married a man that gets sent wing stop robes. It is a nice lifestyle when you can walk around in robes. I mean.

But there's a company, shout out to Highway Robury. Get it? I fell victim to their Instagram ads. What's so good about their robes? They're just cool looking. They're just cool looking. Paisley?

And it's striped and it's light. It's a light robe. Summer robe. It's a summer robe. I try to stretch it into the winter. It's California. You can do that. I just feel like, you know, I'm past my mid-40s, really, 46.

I'm heading to late 40s. I just feel like it's time. It's time for cool robes. Last two things. Oh, gosh. Thank goodness. I, and I'll talk, I mean, this may be bleeding over into my top moments. You know what?

Save it. I'm going to save it for my top moments. That's right. Don't Save it. I'm going to save it for my top moments. That's right. Don't spoil it. Because I bought something that then translated into a top moment that I'll talk about next week. Yeah, save that.

But the last thing is, and maybe this, this might encapsulate this year for us as a, as a species. I bought, I started paying

for chat GPT. Mm-hmm. It's like a monthly or annual type thing? What's that run you? Maybe it was 20 bucks a month? Oh, really? I can't remember what it was. But.

I haven't done that. I, and honestly, I'm thinking about not like i don't know i use it on and off and i haven't like used it i used it more when i first started to do it and it was more in the i don't know if we talked about this on the on the podcast but like i've used it in exercises where i wanted to ask it a question that I would ask Google or ask it to summarize something, or if I'm trying to generate a list of things that like what, oh, I'll tell you where I used it. And this is an example of it not doing a good job. So the song, the egg song, that's in the latest Rhett and Link video.

Yeah. And, of course, the premise of the song is that this whole idea that over easy is harder to do than over hard. Right. It sends you, not your character, you into an existential crisis. Right.

Where other truths would sound backwards. Well, and you say, next thing you know, you'll tell me that Iceland is green and Greenland is covered in ice. And I'm like, yeah, it's true. Well, that was what I thought of, right? But when I went on chat GPT and I was like, give me an example of something that the name for it is actually describes, I don't know how I described it, but I was like, over hard is harder, is easier to make than over

easy. And I was like, such as Greenland is covered in ice and Iceland is green, because everyone knows that. And then people are like, well, driveway, parkway, whatever. There's a few examples. Right. And so the great thing about ChatGPT is it can generate, ostensibly it can generate all known examples of that, but it didn't give me anything better

than what I had already come up with, which is the Greenland thing. And I was like, I didn't... Did it give you the driveway-parkway? Yeah. But I didn't want to do anything that people already knew about. Right. I was kind of disappointed in that line. I was happy with it when I first heard the Greenland and Iceland. Because I was like...

Because it was a song about eggs. I wanted it to be more unexpected. That was unexpected, but... But apparently it doesn't exist, or at least chat GPT. So that's how I've been using it this year is when I'm like, I'm not gonna find a website that has idioms listed. Yeah, when you know the criteria for something, and you know there's probably an answer, that's...

And I'm sure I'm not... I'm definitely not taking full advantage of it. You know? And I'm not using it. It's not writing things things like, oh, write a script, or tell me a joke. It's more like, this is something that I could go through a long process of getting somebody to do or searching. We'll look back on this year as, oh, yeah, I remember 2023. It's the year when, like, everybody kind of started understanding what that first AI tool was. What was it called? ChatGPT? Yeah. What is it now?

It's whatever it's going to be. It's our consciousness. Yeah. Right. It's our president. Right. Exactly. It's the government.

All right. It's my rec, baby, rec, baby, one, two, three. Today, I'm just going to pick something we talked about. If I can only pick one thing, what's the thing that could have the most impact in people's lives that we've discussed today? A bag? Maybe a bag, probably. I guess I gotta go with a handheld carbon monoxide detector. You know what?

It could save a life. When in doubt, get one and take it with you whenever you're staying somewhere and use it. I just conceivably saved a life. Good for you, man. Yeah.

Put it in your bag with your fake bread. I was just trying to add something. Or just get fake bread. Pretty good. Thanks for joining us. We're going to be talking about the top moments of the year next week. In the meantime, leave us a message. I had a good time today. Good work.

Likewise. Yeah. It was a good time today. Good work. Likewise. Yeah. It was a good one. Hey, guys. I just got my Spotify wrapped, and it turns out I'm in the top 1% of your listeners,

and you guys are obviously my top podcast. So I just wanted to thank y'all for making my walks to class and, you know, time doing the dishes way better. So, yeah.