Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Our Top 2021 Purchases | Ear Biscuits Ep.315

Episode Date: December 13, 2021

From graphic novel about time-stopping orgasms to the search for a kink-less garden hose, listen to R&L talk about some of their top 2021 purchases (while providing some useful dad tips along the way) in this episode of Ear Biscuits! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link.

This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're looking back at the year through the lens of our online purchases, because after all, that's how we define ourselves anyway, right? That's how I do. No, this was a lot of fun last year when we did it. And I think that you've already pre-expanded

because we said this would be our Amazon purchases. I totally forgot that. Because we get so many things through Amazon. So I've kind of limited it to those purchases. But I know you're going outside of that. I had to. And so I reserved the right to maybe go outside of that a little bit

because I did make some significant purchases that were not on Amazon, but- Whatever you need to fully define yourself, that's what this is about. Well, you know, I- Unless you buy things, how do you know who you are? Well, how do you know? I've discovered that my sort of calling in life

is to go into the driveway and to break down boxes and flatten them and put them into recycling. Like that's my me time. Cause I try to get my kids to do it and they won't, you know, I'm a failed father. Cause I think, yeah, I think last year, my list was that special box cutter, which I had recommended and it was on my list.

And we had to pick up something. We had to pick up a mirror that wouldn't, every time it was delivered to the house, it was broken. So Christy arranged for us to pick it up from the shop. And then we got there and I took my box cutter with me cause I'm like, I wanna open it there and I wanna do it with my box cutter. And they were like, yeah, you don't have to open it here

because then, well, you can't, you have to return it in the packaging. And I was like, no, we're opening it here and I'm using my box cutter. I can tell they were really eyeing it. They liked the slice. It was broken by the way. Your box cutter was broken?

No, the mirror was broken. Oh. And so we still didn't get it. Mirrors break, man. That's one of the hazards. I'm not gonna go through- Better on their dime than ours. I'm gonna go through a lot of stuff

and more stuff than you undoubtedly. I'm going through everything I bought. But I'm not going through my exhaustive list because that's 141 individual items that are just for me. Now I want you to understand the vast majority of these are very small and consequential and I'll get into some of those. It would just be- Why are you apologizing?

No, I'm just saying it would be, well, because people are like, people have lots of opinions about buying stuff on Amazon to begin with, I get it, I understand. I think in the end, we're gonna figure this out and I think that the convenience of the service is gonna be something that we find a way to do without QAM. But I will say that that comes out to like

almost buying something every other day, you know? But not buying multiple things in one shipment, but still there's ends up being a lot of boxes. So there's a little bit of guilt associated with this. I'm just saying that upfront. But I mean, the place I wanted to start just because there's literally one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,

eight items in just this one journey. And this is just for me. This doesn't count the ones that Jesse got. Oh, you're starting with, I was gonna start with a journey. Okay. Okay. This is good. Who's got the better journey? It sounds like you've got a longer journey.

Mine's simple. Go for it. And that is the journey to acquire the correct face mask. Oh, uh-huh. And this is something that is especially, the reason that this is so personal to me is that it has to do with the beard, right? So early on in the pandemic, when we started wearing masks a lot,

I started realizing that I was getting mask beard and it can get so pronounced. I don't know if you remember when we were practicing the live stream that day and we wore masks during the live stream rehearsal. Yeah. And I took it off to show everybody what my mask beard looks like

and like crazily got a profile shot of me, which we can. Oh, are you sure you wanna show that? You know what, I'm not gonna show it. No, it's being shown. No, no, I'm not showing it. Already happening. There's so many shots of me out there without a beard. I don't have to show the mask beard.

I don't have to do it. I reserve the right to not show the mask beard. They already saw it. They haven't seen it. It's over, they saw it. I'm making the call, we're not showing it. You really booked it up and they just saw it. You know what?

You can tweet it on your personal account. They're seeing it again. Wow. So because the mask, and here's the thing about mask beard, it's not just that the mask beard looks bad, it's that- Oh, yeah, we can tell it looks bad.

We're looking at it a third time. It locks in like you put a curling iron. And like, you can't get rid of it unless you stop and you wash your beard with shampoo and then let it dry. Like you can't get- You shampoo your beard? Yeah. I mean, in order to get the, when it's that locked in, it will not, it's like you curled your hair

and you can't get rid of it. It's like you don't have a beard. You just have hair for skin against your face. And then there's a line and then there's something hanging down there like a curtain. Yeah, we're looking at it a fifth time. So the problem is, is that they make these masks that are supposed to cover your whole beard.

Uh-huh, yeah. And I tried a few of these, man. I'm gonna go through all the masks. So I started with the Bio TH face mask, which is, this is just like that, makes it kind of like a duck build. It's more, it's an N95. It's a disposable. K95, yeah.

Yeah, K95, K95, whatever it is. Pointy. And I was like, ah, this is causing trouble. So then I did the Michelle XL Summer Face and Beard. Summer Face? Headwear reusable cloth covering for dust outdoors. First of all, lots of cloth masks early on in the pandemic before we really understood

that those are not very effective. Yeah, but that was a whole year earlier. Well, this is, well, I'm still, no, but the whole, the cloth is not really working that well. That knowledge was really dispensed in 2021. It wasn't really dispensed in 2020. When we all kind of came to terms with the fact that, listen- And I think

it was more of a 2021 thing for you because you were more of getting out. We were becoming more active and needing masks more. And trying to settle on like- We bought a lot more masks in 2021 than in 2020. What is my mask gonna be? Right? And this is before I was like, okay, I'm still trying these masks

that are probably not even effective. Because now you're making a public decision. Yeah. Not just a protective decision. And there's a look here. Then I did the Toltecs face mask, then the Purian face mask, adult XL extra large for men with beards.

Then the Kraft and Souloule Matana face mask. Then the Interplex Youth Adult Three-Ply face. Okay, so now I'm getting back into like, this is a point where I abandoned, I'm like, just trying to cover the whole beard, it's not a tight thing. It's just, I'm not wearing a mask just to make it look like I'm wearing a mask,

which is what a lot of people do who don't even believe that the masks work, even though they clearly do if they're worn right and it's the right kind of mask. Some people are just like, I'm complying with your idea here, your rules, but I'm trying to make it as easy as possible. But I was like, I'm actually interested

in doing this in an effective way. So I abandoned the beard mask because it's just not gonna happen. It's kind of like, you're gonna, when you wear a hat, you're not gonna then, if you're out with people, just take the hat off and then walk around with hat head. You're committing, you're just gonna have to wear the mask all the time.

Right, and then I got this outdoor research essential face mask kit. A kit? It's, you know, it's just- You build your own? These are the words that they use. And then finally, I just landed on disposable face mask. You gave up. Yeah, and that's,

so now I operate with two distinct choices. There is the K95 or KN95, whatever it is, which is what we have here at the studio for everybody to wear. That was on my list of something that I, that's what we buy a lot of. And that locks it in and that does give me mask beard. And then I've got this, the surgical mask,

like the three ply surgical mask, which is effective at catching droplets, but it sits more on top of the beard and doesn't create, like if I'm like, if I'm doing, if Jessie and I are going out and we have to wear the mask into the restaurant, but then when we sit down, we take the mask off to eat. So it's kind of like, we're wearing a mask just to say that we wore a mask

or just because they made us wear a mask and we went in. I believe in masks, but when you're going in a restaurant to eat, you're not really accomplishing anything by wearing the mask as you walk to your table. Okay, I'm taking a risk at that point. But in that case, I don't wanna have mask beard on my date. And so then that's when I just wear the surgical one that kind of sits right on top.

And I can kind of deal with that mask beard. So you, yeah. But there was an eight point. You had to get a system. There was an eight point mask journey and that didn't even include the stuff that Jessie was buying. It went all over the place. Okay, you wanna know my version of that journey

is with garden hoses. So on a much lighter- You're trying to wash the virus off your face with a garden hose? Yeah. He's like, I don't wear a mask, but I wash my face every day. Well, I'm constantly blasting my face with a garden hose.

The virus can't get in there. You just go right in here and it comes right out your nose. Arr! It turns out it's really hard to find a garden hose that's worth a damn. It's true, man. I was looking back through the list and I was just so shocked.

I was like, okay, I got an expandable garden hose. Cause I don't want one that you gotta like loop up and all the problems with like, where's it gonna be stored and how and how big is it? And how it just doesn't cooperate with being coy. I went on this journey in 2020, by the way. Did you talk about it? I don't know if I did, man.

Why didn't I land? Okay, I went- Because I bought it at the hardware store. It was expandable. And then what would happen is it was like black and it would scrunch up. So at the moment that all the liquid came out of it, it would shrink up like cold wiener.

And then it'd be very easy to store. But then when that thing gets plump again, when it's shooting out all that water, it's spurting out of every place. It's cracking leaks all over the place. Just like a penis. And I will tell you that like, we bought the ones that said, oh, 100% guaranteed.

And then what are you supposed to do? They break, they break. Don't just break. Sometimes- We bought three and they were all like psst, psst, psst. They just split in the middle. And like, oh, there's just a whole section. You can't get an expandable.

So then we were so angry that we bought a flex steel. Like we went to the opposite extreme. It's like a chrome. It's like a, it's just a pipe. It's just a pipe on a hinge. It's a pipe, yeah. You can't, it doesn't bend at all. It did bend.

It would bend up, but it was like little. This is not gonna leak. No, I can only water in this exact radius but it will never leak. What we did and you know what, honestly, Christy's the one who bought it. It's like Christy looked at those leaky wieners and she said, I'm going medieval on your ass.

Like literally, I'm buying the armored version of a garden hose. This is the one from the infomercial. It's just called Flex Steel. I think there's an infomercial for it. Not Flex Seal, that's an infomercial. That's for the boats. No, no, I know it's not.

When you wanna cut, chop a boat in half and then. Cause there's also infomercials for the expandable ones too. That's where I fell in love with the idea. And then we ended up with, it's called a no kink, but it's like, it's made of different stuff than expandable. So it's kind of expandable. I can't go there.

It's called no kink. You gotta go kink. I gotta go kink. So it's still kinks. Yeah, because listen. Garden hose suck. You can't help but kink sometimes. There is, I mean, there's gotta be an answer.

And I still haven't found it. I gave up with the third one. It's not leaking yet, but it is kinking, even though it's called the no kink. Well, I don't have a record of this, because again, I went to the hardware store for, because I do shop local, okay? I believe in that.

I went to the hardware store to get, we actually decided on a hose that is not expandable per se, but like it gets really, it doesn't shrink up, but it's super like flexible. That's what we have. And they're black. Yes, it's called the no kink. Okay, well I've got, we have- That's what we have. We have three of those Yes, it's called the no kink. Okay, well I've got, we have-

That's what we have. We have three of those or four of those around the house. And I bought the things to wind it up. Not the like crank it, wind it up, but just like this thing that sits on the side of the house and we just roll it around. Christy wants to get like a piece of pottery that I can just shove it down.

Like a snake. Like a decorative, yes, that's like a cobra coming out of a piece of pottery. You have to play an instrument to get the snake, get this hose to come out. That's the problem with that. I can break out my recorder. We are dadding so hard.

Move on to something else. Garden hoses, man. Who would've thought? Okay, now I'm going in chronological order. And this, again, this is just the stuff that I thought was notable. I bought this first thing because of you. The Neomed, especially a Link brand.

Neomed sinew inhaler. Sinew inhaler. What? Sinew inhaler. Natural non-medicated aromatherapy inhaler. So this is like, you come into the office and you got something you put in your nose and you sniff. It's a menthol stick, yeah.

I got it like two years ago, maybe three, and the thing still works. Yeah, it's amazing. I used it a few seconds ago. Yeah, so I'm not necessarily- It looks like chapstick that you sew up your nose. But I do find, cause I've got a slightly deviated septum

and the right nostril will sometimes be like, it's not really fully functioning this morning. It's got a little kink in it. That Neomed's gonna open you up. And I do that and I keep it in my bag and I've used it probably a dozen times over the past year. And it was a really good purchase. It's super inexpensive.

It's kinda like, makes you feel like you're awake. But have you seen this new product? It's all over the internet right now and if you're on TikTok or Instagram, you're getting ads for it if you're me. It's called like, something drops, like wake up drops. It's like- I haven't seen this. It's called like something drops, like wake up drops. It's like- I haven't seen this.

It's caffeinated? No, no, I think it's smelling salts. I think it's essentially smelling salts. It's a company that has these things that you sniff. Is it a pouch that you burst? It totally wakes you up. I don't remember the name of it, but everybody, I mean, I'm getting a bunch of ads for it because I guess they know that I want that feeling.

It's probably toned down from the ones that EMTs use. I remember when my mom would always get her EMT certification, there was the smelling salts day, and it's like a little pouch. They would, it's kind of like- You can get them on Amazon. I think when the policemen get trained in how to use their tasers-

You get tased and they smell it. They line up and get tased. Well, the EMTs lined up and they got smell salted. And I was curious and I took one of the pouches and you burst it and you sniff it. And boy, that was an awakening. Well, it works, man. I mean, it totally works.

It was almost painful. And I have to think this is a lesser version of that because you're not knocked out. Well, it doesn't knock you out, it brings you back. And if you said- But you don't use it when you're knocked out, you use it just when you feel like it. If you just, there's some people who swear by-

But you haven't tried this. You haven't tried this. No, but some people swear by smelling salts like before a workout. It's a trend and so these guys got in on that. Yeah, yeah. I'm interested in that. You know, that's akin to the Neal Med menthol sucker.

The thing is you don't even use Neal Med brand, do you? Cause yours is not Neal Med. It was bought for me and it lasts forever. But it is spelled N-E-I-L. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't

get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan happily yes a day of sunshine no a box of fine wines yes uber eats can definitely get you that get almost almost anything delivered with uber eats order now alcohol and select markets product availability may vary by regency app for details um we'll go back and forth we'll go back and forth. We'll go back and forth until you run out of things.

I got some smart plugs. I committed to Wemo, not a sponsor. None of this crap is a sponsor. But you buy one smart plug and then all of a sudden you got all these other smart plugs and then- Explain this to me. Is it, it taps into your router? Yeah, and it's all within one app. You have smart lights in your house.

Yeah, but I don't have no internet on them. I do that with the Nest, with the Nest Nodes, the Google Nest Nodes. That's interesting. Yeah, they connect through your Wi-Fi and then through your Google Home, I control them, which is the same thing you have. Oh, it's not expanding your Wi-Fi signal. No, no, no, no, no.

It's just a smart, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so the lights that you, I went them, which is the same thing you have. Oh, it's not expanding your wifi signal. No, no, no, no, no. It's just a smart, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so the lights that you, I went to, I had a few of those and then we did a remodel and like there's more lights on the outside of our house. And when the electricians came to do that, I said, I want all of my plugs. So I guess I'm catching up with you. But I- And you went Wemo.

Because I already had some Wemo. But these Wemo were like hardwired in. So now. Yeah, I do the Lutron on that. And you know what I did? I didn't get enough. Like I still have, before I go to bed, there's one light. I have to walk to the front of my house

and turn off the chandelier at the front door manually. I believe in having at least one manual light just to stay grounded. I feel like it's done that for me. Yeah, there's one light that you gotta actually touch. But they were all- There's one that doesn't even have a switch, I have to unscrew the bulb every night just to feel grounded.

Or just shoot it out with a BB gun. Yeah, just put in another one. In the morning. Put in a new bulb. Screw it! In the morning. Take a little BB gun out there, shoot it. I mean- You know, somebody lives like that, Justin Timberlake apparently wears a new pair of underwear every single day.

Really? I saw that on one of those Buzzfeed articles 10 years ago. I mean, once you start adding the smart light switches to your cart for every light switch, that puts a pound in on your- That's a big cart. On your wallet. Yeah.

So I just got, I got purchase fright. So I was really excited and then I didn't get all the ones that I needed. Well, you can always just get more. Yeah, but then I- But then you gotta get somebody to install them. They say you can do it yourself, but- Yeah, and you can't.

But it doesn't have my picture. It's not a Neo, it doesn't say Neo Med on it. You know what I'm saying? I know how to put something up my nose and breathe. This is not something you just smell. Therefore, this requires some electrical knowledge. If you've gotta go to your power panel and turn off the power before you do something,

that's a red flag for me being involved. I'm making a call on that one. You know? It's like, I mean, you're just gonna kill everything in the house? Well, then I gotta restart everything. I believe you also got one of these. I don't know if you got the same brand.

I actually had to go through two and then I landed on this one. The Gista Grill Press Steak Weight Burger Smasher with wood handle. You stealing my thunder, man. All the stuff you've gotten, when did you got that early in the year? You didn't tell me.

No, I told you about- I forgot. Like I was on a quest for the perfect smash burger because it's what my kids really, really like. You know, I like a smash burger and a thick burger. I totally, so this happened to you earlier in the year. Yeah, this is like January. And you told me about it, I totally forgot. Well, at the end of, I think at the end of 2020,

I may have even talked about it last year, I got one, but it wasn't completely flat. It was like, it had a ring on it and it had enough for the burger to like kind of sneak up in there and you couldn't. Yes. So I was like, this is no good. I want one that I can just smash it as thin

as I possibly can. As I want it. Right, and when I was, I didn't access this conversation because yeah, it was three months ago, I went and got my burger smasher set. And I- You got a set? I got a grill. First of all, for my green egg grill,

I got the half moon griddle. Yeah. So that I could smash the, you can't do that on the grates. I just, yeah, I do it inside in a pan. And then, yeah, so you gotta get the smasher and you're right, it cannot have a lip so that, because then, yeah, you want it to be smashed out and for the edges to be uneven.

You don't want it to be a perfect circle and you gotta have the right amount of meat and you gotta measure it out, that's dumb. You gotta really watch out for that. That's the hottest tip I think people are gonna get today from Rhett and Link is your burger smasher cannot have a lip. Yeah.

And half of them on Amazon, even highly rated ones do. Yeah, it actually was difficult. Cause I went with the Gista. And I liked it because it had a wood handle. I didn't even put the name brand down, but it wasn't, it, mine's fully metal. There's no wood because wood gets stained and it, it looks nicer but-

But wood doesn't, wood keeps the heat from coming into your hand. I also do recommend wearing a glove because it'll burn the back of your- Oh yeah, you got to burn all the hairs off your knuckles. But we, I mean, I've had some, in fact, that makes me want to do that this week. I've had some really good burger times.

You got to get the smash right, but then this is why I got the kit because you also have to have a shaker ready with everything you need. So like you smash and then you shake on your salt and pepper or whatever your mixture is. It definitely needs, you want it to be salty. And then when you flip it, you flip it and you salt,

you shake it again. So you gotta, and you gotta have a smasher hand and a shaker hand. And the grill is so hot that I gotta do it fast. So I've got like a shaker that's big. It's not like, you can't shake on something and shake on something else. You gotta have one shaker that has everything

like the deli style. And it's pretty big. So it's like a three inch diameter. You gotta get your ratios right if you do that. But then you're shaking kind of- I mean, I'm just doing salt. I'm just doing mostly salt and a little bit of pepper. Yeah. And I might put

a little garlic powder- A little bit. In the meat before I mix it. With my grill and with the timing and everything and they grill so fast, I can't regulate it like a stove top. So it's like, if it gets really hot, you just gotta be fast. So I don't have time like a stove top. So it's like, if it gets really hot, you just gotta be fast. So I don't have time to be shaking two things. Well, that's the other thing too.

I mean, it's cool to be outside and do it, but I've actually, and I've got like that nice smoker slash grill that I use for a lot of things, but I have transitioned to burgers and steaks inside, man. I'm doing burgers and steaks inside. I'm doing steak in a pan, you know, because if you go to a fine steak house, they're not grilling there.

I just wanna be able to use the grill. They're like, they're doing it on a, well, they're like doing like a broiler, but. It's a challenge to it. I'm not great at it, because there is timing. The third thing in the kit is an extra wide spatula because when you smash that burger down and it gets, I like to make them really wide.

And then you gotta have a real strong spatch that you can just throw underneath that thing and flip it real fast. You cheese them on the grill, right? Cheese them on the grill. And then the other thing they'll try to sell you in a kit that I opted out of is a cover. Which then you can kind of, to help steam,

like you put the, you flip it, salt it, put the cheese on it and then put a cover on it to like really help it melt. But I opted out of that. Unnecessary. I thought it was unnecessary. Okay, what else? I love a good Smashburger. Oh, so.

We're going back to you. Already? Because that was me. No, I said, I started that. Your Smash was only a Smasher. Yeah. You didn't even have the other stuff. And I said, yeah, I got the same thing.

No, I mean, I already had like this spatula and stuff. I'll go again. I got a whole category of stuff. Okay. Related to the cat. It's like, you know, you get another type of animal in the house, like getting a second dog was one thing,

but like getting Sokka in the house and then coming to grips with all the stuff that we needed to do, it's like, okay, now there's that chair that he always sits do. It's like, okay, now there's that chair that he always sits in. There's hair all over that thing. And then Christy's like scratching it with her fingernails. Like there has to be a way.

So we got the Chom Chom, which is like a, it's basically like a lint roller that, then it creates a cat hair log that you open the back of it and this big log of cat hair comes out. And you feed that to your dogs? And then you feed that to the dogs. No, you just feed the cat shit to the dogs apparently.

Yeah, right. Which brings me to the other thing, which was multiple litter boxes. Yeah. You know, it's like we had just the open cover litter box. If you're a member of the Mythical Society and you come to our monthly AMAs, you've heard me regale this story of,

but I'll tell it, go large here on Ear Biscuits. Jade is not into this, but Jasper loves to eat that cat dookie. Gosh, it's so gross. I don't, I'm embarrassed that I've got something in my house that can't help but eat cat shit. Like it, I don't know what it says about me, but I feel like it says something about me

that I didn't wanna be. But if you had to choose one being in your house to eat the shit of another being in your house, you would probably pick the animals. Yes. And you'd probably go cat eats, dog eats cat shit. That makes me feel better about it. So we're like trying to get a type of litter box

that Sokka will still use, but that Jasper can't get into. And we went through, we got a big bucket type that like he crawls down inside of it and then that was working until we noticed that every time I would go upstairs into my walk-in closet in my bedroom that I would smell, I smelled something that I described as like a meaty smell. I was like, is there something that like,

have I worked out and lost a piece of clothing that has gotten something growing on it? That's like, it's a very deep, dark smell. Meaty? That's almost meaty, but like gross meaty. And then Christy discovered that the duffel bag underneath all of my hanging clothes in my section of the closet has been the depository

of Sokka's pee, not dookie. Sokka has been crawling into that thing and just peeing in my duffel bag. Again and again and again. And we basically traced that to stress related to Lily leaving for college and him not being happy about that. I peed in a duffel bag when I was sad. So then we had to clean all of that out

and we had to buy this angry orange detergent, deterrent is the word. I was about to say, you didn't keep that duffel bag. No, we got rid of the duffel bag. We used some orange detergent on the duffel bag. I now keep all my gym clothes in it. We had to buy angry orange deterrent to spray on everything

that the cat wasn't supposed to be eating or peeing in. Yeah, and then so we sprayed in the area that the duffel bag used to be and then was very diligent about closing our door. But then- Is that why you smell like oranges and not shit now? I'm not pissed. Yeah, like meaty cat pee.

Yeah. But what we thought was that he wasn't using his litter box but was instead using my duffel bag was because he got too big for the litter box. So then, so now I have this whole purchase history of like buying a bigger litter box that he can jump inside, but then he still didn't wanna use that. And then when we switched to a bigger litter box that he can jump inside, but then he still didn't wanna use that. And then when we switched to a bigger litter box

that he can crawl in the side of, that's when Jasper started eating his dookie. And so it's like one problem leads to another problem. So now I'm on the verge of buying Kitty a litter box that is robotic. Every time Jasper comes up, it just scolds him? Every time the cat poops, it scrapes it up and puts it in a place.

But then it's like, I don't know, the maintenance of that. I don't know, there's lots of questions there. Yeah, but you're already talking about how- It's a lot of trouble. If Lily decides to take the cat with her next year, that you're gonna be sad. Like, are you gonna fight for this cat? This conversation is giving me renewed perspective.

Because I'm also looking like we bought a calming diffuser that emits the pheromones that a mama cat puts out to make the baby cats not fight with each other that also makes cats chill out. So it's like, we're trying to deal with the cat's stress so that, and then it also attracts the cat to the area where we want the cat to pee and not in the duffel bag that's no longer there.

So there's that, multiple litter boxes, orange stuff, calming diffuser, chom chom hair thing, and a litter genie, which is like a fancy thing that you, as soon as the cat craps, you gotta, we scoop up the crap and we put it in a thing that then it puts it, it's like a diaper genie but for cat shit. So we got, I like that.

I recommend that. You didn't use the robotic one. Haven't gone there yet. Hmm, okay. They're really pricey and I'm also very, I'm also very skeptical if Sokka's going to go for it or if then he's just gonna start shitting in the plants

again, which was the first problem we had. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country and it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 Plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life.

Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Well, I don't have any cat related purchases. I did, however, buy 40 large pinky mice. What? Oh, you're talking about food for a snake. Yeah. You still have that snake? Yeah, I mean, he's still a part of the family. Moose, the snake.

You buy 40 at a time, you said? He eats 40 at a time. No, he eats like one a week, if Shepherd keeps up with it. Yeah, so I have like a handful of mice in the freezer, which Jessie isn't happy about, but they're in a bag. It's in another bag. There's other animal parts in our fridge that we eat. It's not that big of a deal.

I mean, you gotta, why don't you put it in the fridge in the garage? It is in the fridge in the garage. Okay, that's better. I mean, I'll rattle off a couple here. Sex Criminals Volume One, One Weird Trick. What? This is a graphic novel.

How graphic? Sex Criminals. This is a graphic novel. How graphic? Sex criminals. This is a series about a woman who discovers that when she has an orgasm, that time essentially stops in the afterglow. And then she meets a man who after he orgasms, the same thing happens and they can interact with each other and do things in the afterglow.

This is a famous graphic novel or comic series. What were you Googling that you discovered this? I was Googling- Can I stop time with my orgasms? Yeah, I was like, yeah, hi. Why does it feel like time has stopped after? I was Googling highly rated graphic novels for a reason, for no reason at all.

And I ended up buying this one and a few other ones. I think it misinterpreted the adjective graphic. It's actually not that graphic. It's very funny and it's very well done. I didn't actually, I haven't moved beyond volume one. Not because I don't want to, but because I feel like I learned what I needed to learn

for the purposes that I was trying to learn them. What occasions sitting down to enjoy, what's it called? Sex, crime. Sex Criminals Volume One. One weird trick. Like, is this like a before bed reading? Is this on your, is this like downstairs by the fireplace?

I don't do any reading next to the fireplace. That only happens in movies, man. I mean, you've got a really great place to do some. I bought it for research purposes. And I just read it. I read it in a couple of nights, like a couple of nights, I was like, okay. Dude, I don't know what you're doing to research,

but you're not gonna stop time by ejaculating. No, believe me, I've tried. I do recommend that. I don't know if that's gonna be've tried. I do recommend that. I don't know if that's gonna be my rec. I'm gonna pick one of these things to be my official rec, but that was sort of a weird one that stood out when I was like, oh, what did I, oh, I know why I bought that. And I bought a couple of other ones that are like

really well-respected, sort of like timeless graphic novels that I actually can't remember where they are at this point. Nothing's been as good as Watchmen to me. I'm a normie when it comes to graphic novels, so. Huh. Can I borrow it? Yeah, sure. Just put it under your mattress.

Like when Trent gave me that penthouse. What am I going for next? I'm gonna go with my biggest purchase of the year. Oh, well, I think that, yeah, my next purchase ties in with that. So you go ahead and I'll- No, no, I don't think it does. My mountain bike.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a new mountain bike. I mean, this is probably, this might be my biggest purchase since I got a car. Sure has to be. Cause you know, one of the main things that I got back into year before last was my mountain biking.

I'd fallen out of it. Nick and I would go mountain biking a lot and then it was just like things got busy and it's kind of like surfing for us. It's just like, it requires like some logistics to get going with it. And I got back into it and he got a new bike. Like he upgraded to a full suspension bike

instead of just the front suspension. And it like, his head has a fancy spring in it. And then he's talking about how much better it is when he's got the adjustable seat post where it's like you just hit the button and it adjusts up and down. Yeah. And he's like talking about how much more

of an advantage he has when going downhill with center of gravity being able to be lower. And here I am, every time we were about to do a big climb, I'm getting off my bike and I'm putting my seat up high to get, you know, cause you wanna climb with your seat high and then you wanna, when we're about to go down a hill.

The writing was on the wall. It's like, he's about, there he goes and I'm getting off my bike and putting my seat post all the way down so that my center of gravity is lower and I'm not going over my handlebars. Right. And I'm like, you know what?

For my birthday, I'm not going over my handlebars. Right. And I'm like, you know what, for my birthday, I'm gonna upgrade. And you know, paying thousands and thousands, like you know, over $5,000 for a bicycle, it seems like madness. But if you want one that is gonna, I mean, this is like your life is in- This is some, there's a lot of engineering

that goes into this, It's pretty amazing. You can't really get away. You can't, especially if you're going with someone who has that type of equipment, who's made that investment. The other things that he was telling me, he was like, he was selling me on it. And it took a long time.

And then with all the supply chain things that were happening and continue to happen, I had my eye on a bike that was not even available for pre-order, but it was the one that I wanted. And it was just like, okay, in three weeks, you sign up for the mailing list, we'll tell you in three weeks when this thing's

gonna become available. And then at three weeks, it's like, three more weeks. And then this happens for like three, four months. Yeah. And then one day we're riding and I'm just kind of, and I'm telling him this and he's like, dude, there's a bike shop right over here and they got some in stock.

And I'm like, it's funny how I just like, I just like, I just cringe inside. I'm like, oh no, you mean we're gonna go somewhere right now and I'm gonna drop six grand on a bike just right there. Like this goes against every fiber of my being. But I had made a decision that I was gonna get a bike, I'd picked it out and so I'd spent the money in my mind. So it kinda helped me and I went there and I was like,

you know what, I'm never gonna get that other one. So I ended up getting a specialized bike. And you get to ride it. Yeah, I get to actually ride it. I'd probably still be waiting for the other one from Canyon. So I got the specialized, it's got the tube at the bottom is a little bit bigger and it has a secret compartment in it where instead of like having to buy this an accessory

that go under your bike seat to hold like your other bike tubes and all that crap that you need if something goes wrong, all of that stuff can be hidden inside of the bike itself. Yeah. So that was cool. And that got me a little bit excited. It better be cool.

I'm telling you. But so I got that thing and I've really been enjoying it. So it's like, it's made a huge difference. Having the full suspension, like I've never dropped that money and then my immediate experience was not just regret. Like with all of the psychology of me spending money, like that was one that like, I've been so happy with it.

In the past six days, I've gone out every other day on like a pretty long ride. Just by yourself? Yeah, I'll try to go out. I've got a shorter route that I can do and like from door to, I can be from my house and back in like an hour and 10. So I can do like a 45 minute ride.

And then I've got a good local ride that's like two hours that I can do. So it's like an hour and a half climb. And then it's a really long, you know, 40 minute descent back down. And, but then what happens is there's a lot, that necessitates a lot of other purchases because you start going a little faster

and you've got more performance and you've got, you start pushing yourself. And so I start falling off my bike more. So you get ointments and bandages. Well, protective gear. So like, and I got knee pads, I've got elbow pads, and I've still got all these bruises on my thighs and I fell off- You need thigh pads.

I fell off a few days ago and I hit my hip. And so now the last thing I bought was padded underwear. So I'm trying that. You need one of those airbags that this, if you fall off, the whole thing just inflates and become the Michelin man, just roll down the mountain. I mean, these mountains that I'm on, it's like, I mean, there's, it's treacherous.

One wrong move and I'm not telling Chris to do this, but yeah, I could just careen off the mountain and die. Yeah. But I'm not telling Chris to do this, but yeah, I could just careen off the mountain and die. Yeah. But I'm pretty good. I enjoyed mountain biking a little bit. Like right when Nick was getting into it back in the day, and then like the three of us went out just a couple of times,

there was like one time I was coming down a hill and I was like, the whole time I feel like I'm going to go over the top of the handlebars and I look around at everyone else doing this and I'm like, no one is as big as me. And I was like- It's tough. You know what?

This is something I'm gonna have to just say no to because yeah, I- The places we were going then- I'm too worried about my body. At times more intense than the stuff we do now. We had no business being in some of those places we were, especially on the bikes we were on. My bike's like 15 years old, 20 years old.

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late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, terms apply. So I got the protective gear and then I'm like pushing myself and coming back and I'm having these headaches that I can't get rid of. And I'm realizing I'm burning so much, so many calories that I'm not eating enough.

And like, so it like leads to like figuring all this stuff out to like optimization type stuff. But then also realizing, oh, I gotta be, I can't just be drinking water, I gotta be drinking some electrolytes. So I start buying the Tim Ferriss sponsored element, salty stuff, you can get all types. It's not a sponsor of ours, but like, so now I put a packet of that into my,

I've gotten to a point now where if I do a really, like a two hour ride or I push it, I'm either barely or not getting a headache between like calories afterward and like drinking enough electrolytes, I think. But it's- You're not fueling yourself enough. I'm kind of, for the first time,

it's kind of gotten me to a point where I'm feeling almost athletic. Almost athletic. I've never considered myself an athlete, but I think there's older guys out on these trails and I think this could be me. I think this could be a long-term version of golf for me, as long as I don't kill myself doing it.

You're not gonna die golfing, that's for sure. But I kind of feel like I could be in the best shape of my life if I keep this up. Because I actually enjoy it. Like I've never done anything that's pushed my body so hard that I've actually liked. Because I mean, there's a physical challenge of it, but then there's, I mean, there's the mental acuity

of just the constant reacting to the trail. You know, so I think it's good for my brain and my body. And I feel like I'm doing something that requires a lot of padding. And that kind of makes me feel a little bit cool. You could probably like slip into like an intramural football game. I think I was dressed weird, but.

What position does he play? So a lot of crap related to that bike. Well, okay. This is related to a purchase that you made, which this was unusual because a lot of times I'll decide to buy something. That's right. That then you'll get into.

And then this would work the other way. So the purchase that I have related to this, again, cause I'm limiting mine to Amazon, I'll take it, is wrist guards with palm protection. And this is when we- This is a sore subject, but go ahead. We got the one wheels, you know, we've talked about the one wheels, you know,

it's that thing that looks like a skateboard, but it's got one big wheel in the middle. It's electric. So it's, I mean, it's pretty damn cool because it kind of works like, I have to think it's the technology of one of those, the trendy things that the air boards. It works like a Segway for lack of a better,

I mean, it's essentially the wheel itself is a thing that is both propelling you and holding you up and balancing you. And it has regenerative charging. Yeah, and I mean. And on the website, when you look at this thing, you're like, you can go on dirt trails. It's not just for pavement.

And some of the most fun that we've, I mean, so we got, you got three of them, right? No, I got- No, you got two of them. I got two because I kept seeing these Instagram ads for them. Yeah. And I was like, I'm trying to get the boys out of the house and like, I couldn't, I haven't had luck

getting them to ride bikes that much with me because I end up pushing things a little too far and then they're just dejected and spent. So that didn't take. And I was like, this will be fun. Yeah, because you're not really working too hard on this. There's some balancing happening, but. It's not dangerous once you learn how to do it.

I mean, we're not gonna be going off on these trails, but I kinda secretly hope we'll be going off on these trails. Right. And so then I'm like, I get it. And then I invite you and Shepard over to test it out. And like Shepard immediately took to it. So then you're like, well,

I'm gonna get a couple of these too. So like, yeah, I had the pint for Lando, which is a smaller one. And then the GT for me, the bigger one. Well, the XR. The XR. Yeah. And then you bought two XRs. Right.

I mean, they're not cheap. It was like $1,700 for an XR and maybe 1,200 for a pint. They're one of the more pricier like EVs, but I gotta say, same thing with Shepard. It's not easy to get Shepard outside of the house, away from video games, but anytime I'm say, same thing with Shepard. It's not easy to get Shepard outside of the house, away from video games. But anytime I'm like, hey, let's go one wheel.

And he's like, all right, drops what he's doing and we go. And we have gotten, like we have found so many cool places to go where the majority of what we're doing is off road. And I've had some close calls. I posted that one on my Instagram where I fell and messed my knee up. And actually wasn't that bad.

It was the worst fall that I've had because I actually fell. Well, it was interesting. I think even before that happened, like I was riding, you came over and then you got him and you started riding and then you start telling me about how the type of injuries you can get on this stuff and like how the dangers associated with it. And I didn't, I had not looked into any of that.

I was like, wait, you know, we're just gonna be safe. Well, the nose diving is, the nose diving is the thing that, like if you start looking on YouTube, everyone's got a story about, well, I broke my collarbone. I think like Casey Neistat broke his collarbone or broke something doing, because what happens is if you're comfortable,

you get going real fast and then it gets to a certain speed. You can go 17 to 20 miles an hour. And then it pushes back a little bit to tell you, hey, we can't keep holding you up at this speed. But if you ignore that, it'll nosedive and then you immediately just careen off of the thing. So I kind of stay away from that top speed. Yeah, you have to learn it.

You have to learn the limits of it. And you have to wear protective gear if you're gonna be trying stuff. That was the one thing is that, especially the wrist guards, because the one time I did fall on the pavement, I did nosedive, but it's only because I'm so big and I'm like kind of at the upper weight limit.

And I was going up a hill as fast as I possibly could, but it didn't feel fast to me. It was just, and I also couldn't feel the pushback. It nosedived or nosedove, whatever the proper term is. And I fell and caught myself with my wrist guards and it like skinned them up real bad. I was like, man, that would have been real bad if I hadn't had these wrist guards.

But then what happened- Which brings me to- You never had these wrist guards. But then what happened- Which brings me to- You never borrow any wrist guards. But I had to borrow your XR for Lincoln so that Lando could ride the pint and he and I would each have one. And so I also took your wrist guards that day. And then of course they were always wearing helmets

and I had elbow pads and knee pads from mountain biking that I put on the boys. Lincoln had fallen and hurt his elbow without pads. So I was like, you gotta wear the pads from now on. And then I saw the wrist guards and Lando was over there somewhere. I told this story on Good Mythical More. And so I was like, well, I got this pair of wrist guards,

Lincoln put these on. Well, turns out I put the only pair of wrist guards that I borrowed from you on the wrong kid. And yeah, Lando, we were going off road and Lando was getting pretty good at it. And then he just got tossed, saw it all happen. And he said he hurt his wrist. And I said, you know, just like,

just wait a little bit and we'll walk back. Wave it off. And then we took the dogs for a walk later. He didn't seem like he was complaining too much. I took him out to dinner later. He said he was having trouble using his hand to get the food on his fork. Yeah, probably using the fork.

And he was having to use the other hand. And then his mom came home from whatever she was at late after Lando was in bed. His mom, your wife? Yeah. And then the next morning, we wake up to Lando by the bed telling his mom how much his wrist hurts. And I didn't tell her anything had happened.

So that's how she found out that, and she was like, "'Well, you need to take him to urgent care "'and give him an X-ray,' which I did. "'And when the nurse came back in, I was pretty, you know, I get nauseous and uncomfortable about potential breaks and talk of circulation and things of that nature. Talk of circulation.

So when the nurse comes- It's pretty broad. Comes in and says, yeah, we took a look at the x-ray and his wrist is just above his wrist. It is broken clean in two. I started laughing. Yeah, like every good father would. But it was because I was so uncomfortable.

That's, I just like, I can't, that's just the noise that comes out of me. And I didn't remember this, but what Lando told me afterward, when he also told Christy. His mom. Yeah, said that, you know, that the nurse said, sir, this is a serious issue.

Yeah. This is not a laughing matter. And I was laughing so much. I don't like talk of circulation. I was laughing so much and uncomfortable that't like talk of circulation. I was laughing so much and uncomfortable that I didn't even hear her say that. I just kept kind of giggling. So yeah, he had a broken wrist.

And at this point, he's still not released by the doctor to get back on the Onewheel. But when he does, he's got wrist guards. So he didn't go the other day, it was just you and Lincoln that went the other day. Me and Shepard went the other day. It had like the best time that we've had. I love it.

Lincoln and I had the best time going to the same place. Well, and then, the funny thing- Going on like sandy trails off road, and like, especially when you've got like the proper protection, wrist guards, elbow guards, knee pads, helmet. For me, the- You have confidence. The great thing about the off-roading is

you don't get as fast as you do on the pavement. So I actually feel like I fall a whole lot more. I fall off and then I just kind of run it out. Whereas when I'm on pavement, I get so fast, I'm like, if I fall right now, it's gonna be on pavement and it's gonna be bad. And then the funny thing is, is you've actually, I think you've changed quite a bit because, you know,

I saw the advertisements for the new ones, the GT and the new Pint. And it was like, this new one, the GT has more torque, more power, I'm like, that's what I need. Oh, it has a treaded tire that you can get. That's what I need because I get on those trails and I'm just, I get to these hills that don't seem that steep and Shepherd, you know, weighs half as much as me.

He just goes right up. I get on him and it just bottoms out. Like it can't support me, I'm too big. And so, and then I tell you about it. You're like, oh, you already bought one. I got one coming. I'm like, what? This man has gotten so loose with his cash.

Listen, yeah, I blame myself for the accidents that my kids have had. And I, cause I'm like, I'm getting another one. This is fun. Well, and then, and then, and I was like, okay, well I gotta get one now. So I got one of those on the way. We're actually gonna- We got them on order.

We're gonna have six of those things. We're gonna have to like find a friend to just come along with us. Yeah, well the app, the app will tell you if other people in your neighborhood have it. You can meet up with strangers in one way. Yeah, I don't know if I wanna do that. Okay, let me rattle off a few quick ones here.

I got the Rapsodo Mobile Launch Monitor, which is a way to keep up with how far your golf ball will go, and all you have to do is hit it into a net, and it's reading the speed of the golf ball and figuring out like, oh, you hit a six iron this far. Oh, it doesn't say, oh, you just hit it three foot into a net.

Yeah, it tells you how far it would have gone. I gotta say I've had to back off of the, I haven't, I purposely haven't swung a golf club in about two months because I was convinced that it was causing my shoulder problem. And unfortunately I think I was right. So I don't know, I'm having to reevaluate my long-term future.

Oh, you should get into mountain biking. What am I gonna do? It's like if I'm hurting myself golfing, what am I gonna do next? Mountain biking. This is, you know what, this is gonna be my recommendation. The baseball cap carrier case.

Okay, you're like, what do you need one of those? Okay, so I was going- Is this what it sounds like it is? It's a way- A plastic case? It's a way to put baseball hats in your luggage and not have to worry about like packing them perfectly so that they get messed up.

When I was going back to North Carolina over the summer, I was gonna be playing golf a few times with my dad and my brother and I wear a hat when I'm out in the sun like that. And you don't want it to be crinkled. But I don't wanna like, I don't like having to then wear the hat when I'm out in the sun like that. And you don't want it to be crinkled. But I don't wanna like, I don't like having to then wear the hat on the plane. And also there was like a couple of hats that I had

and I find this thing on Amazon, the baseball cap carrier case. And I'm like, this thing's perfect. Holds like three or four baseball hats. And you just put it in your luggage and you can't, I mean, you can step on this thing. Is it hollow under the back so you can still nest it on something?

Or does it take up a lot of room? You know what I'm saying? It takes up the room of a stack of hats. It doesn't come in and- But where your head goes into the hat, is that hollowed out of the case? No, no, it's flat. The whole bottom is flat.

Like, brr, I'm out. Which makes it easier to pack in some regard. Yeah, no, it's flat. The whole bottom is flat. Like brr, I'm out. Which makes it easier, it makes it easier to pack in some regard. Yeah, but it takes up more space. Well, I mean, maybe you can make one of those. Maybe one of those exists. I wanna make one of those. I wanna make one of those in the world's best garden hose. Okay, I've got two items that I bought because I have a 17-year-old son.

I have one more, by the way. Oh, you have one more? Yeah. Okay, well, I've got like, I mean, I wanna, I've got, I got a few. And I wanna, I'm gonna, I was gonna rattle through. So if you wanna save yours for the, to be the last thing. Okay. You have this too, by the way.

Okay, well then there you go. Save it for the end, we'll be happy, happy, and we'll be united in our purchase. I share, okay, I share the blender with everyone, but the people who use the blender in my house, it's me and Locke to make these protein shakes that we make. And he doesn't clean up after himself. And so he'll leave like some dirty,

once you leave that blender bottle out a few times without cleaning it, it gets cloudy and nasty and you'll never get rid of it. Right. And so what I decided to do is I was like, I'm gonna buy a replacement carafe essentially, but I'm going to use that one and you're gonna keep using the crappy one

and you can do whatever you want to it. Oh. So now I have this Blendtec carafe. Which you've hidden. I just keep it on the top shelf inside a cabinet and I literally, I use it, I make my smoothies, I wash it out immediately. Yeah, immediately.

Put it back up there. It's, I can, you could use it as glasses. It's so clear compared to the other one that looks like it's painted. This is a 17 and you know what? I'm picturing you reading through a picture. What are you doing? Are you looking at that Blendtec carafe?

No, I'm reading. And I also got a three pack of extra large shaker bottles. Congratulations. You know what I'm saying? Because again, same thing. He uses my shaker bottle and I've got one, it's like the green one's mine. I'll be like, where's my damn? What is a shaker bottle?

I don't know what you mean. It's like a- Shaking what? It's like, if you wanted to put a protein shake without using the blender. Oh, okay. It's what we put, we'll's like a- Shaking what? It's like, if you wanted to put a protein shake without using the blender. Oh, okay. But we put, we'll shake like pre-workout or something in there, but we also just put the shakes in there.

And you know how, I mean, this is typical dad, but like you get on stairs and you make your smoothie and then you look and then immediately I just flip out, right, because I'm just like, I know we took my damn bottle. And it's like, it's just one of those things you just- You gotta have your own. And so I go up there and it's in his room

and it's got crap in it and it smells like something died inside of it. It's not meaty? It's very meaty. And so I bought a three pack and I was like, you can't touch any of these. I have three, just in case you end up touching one, I got two more behind it.

I bought this and I did this several times. Lightning cable, three foot, three pack. Oh, good luck with that. And USB wall charger with three inputs on it. Yep, yep. I don't know how many of these, someone is taking them and making like spaghetti out of them somewhere in our home.

Cause I was like, can't we just have, like I want one kind of like, oh, here's a charger. You're moving towards just having your own house. Yeah, I've thought of this. And then you've got it like, there's one that's like behind the couch and it has an extra long cable. So they're like, hey, I'm watching TV

and my phone's about to die, plug it in, set it down. Here's one downstairs in the gym where we're working out. Here's one in the kitchen just in case. I had it all figured out. They end up taking them and I have to just keep buying them. I don't know what I'm gonna do about that. Haven't solved that other than just buying stuff. This is one I'll spend a second on.

I bought some Teefas. I noticed that. I talked to Christy about it. Yeah, well. Because she has them. I was like, is this a thing? Well, now first of all, somebody said that you're supposed to say Tevas.

I don't care. I'm gonna say Tevas because that's what I've always said. So. It's the wearing it. Hold on, this is very funny that you're bringing this up because we haven't talked about this. So I can't remember where I was. I think it was when we were in Key West

and I had my flip flops and I'm thinking about the fact that we're going to spend some time in Mexico over the holidays and having a shoe that you can wear when you're like, we're going and doing some outdoor activities and I don't wanna wear those water shoes that are closed toed that we had. You remember like the ones that we had and everybody got when we went to Fiji.

I think you're talking about Keens, which are like the REI version of a water shoe. They're like clothes. Well, I know what you're talking about. I'm talking about the ones that are more like sock like. Oh, well that, of course not. That's like. And so I was like, and so I have a bias against.

Dumb child at a wave pool type situation. I have a bias against sandals that are not flip flops, okay? I don't like, Jessie's like, you need to get some Birkenstocks. I was like, I don't like the way Birkenstocks look. And she was like, well, you get some Tevas. I was like, I hate the way Tevas look. Like I've never seen somebody in Tevas.

Birkenstocks are like hippie, but Tevas are like granola. Right, but here's the thing. I have a bias against them. And I told Jesse, I was like, if I get these and I wear these around Link, it'll be the first thing he talks about when he sees me. It's funny, because there's a clip going around about that interview with Larry David from like years ago.

Oh yeah, the one where Seinfeld says, when he walks in the room, he's gonna talk about your shirt. And me and you have that kind of thing where we've judged everything that you could possibly wear and we've come to a bunch of conclusions about them. Yeah. And so I think that Tevas look dorky, right?

I can't, I cannot, I think they look dorky on me. I cannot get, whether you got socks on or not, but I put them on and Jessie's like, you don't understand, they're not dorky anymore. And if they are, that's what makes them cool, right? And so she's basically telling me this. I put these Tevas on one night, we go to Pasadena. You went out.

To go eat and I'm walking around in these things. And I've also got on like some like these cotton pants that are like a drawstring kind of thing. I feel stupid the whole time, but I'm feeling great. Like I feel like I look stupid, but I'm like, I keep leaning over to her. I'm like, I think I might be a Teva guy. Like these are incredible.

Like the fact that they don't flop, they feel so secure, but my feet are breathing. I'm like, I kind of think that regardless of how these things look, maybe I'm just the Teva guy now. Damn. Christy wore these at Disneyland both days and here I am taking off my shoes and socks in a public place.

Oh, it's revolutionary. And I was like, are the straps getting you? Is the, she was like, my feet are great. There's nothing, it feels so good the whole time. I go into a coffee shop. Jessie's like, let's get a couple of decafs. I'm like, I'll go in. I go in, I go up to the counter,

just some random coffee shop on Colorado and Pasadena. And the barista says, hey, you look like you're from Colorado. She literally said that. Yeah. Yes, he did. I mean, the hair, the beard, the pla Colorado. She literally said that. Yeah, yes, she did. I mean the hair, the beard, the plaid. And the Tevas. And so I was like-

Yes, the Tevas, Rhett. I was like, thank you. I mean, I took that as a compliment. She says, I love Colorado, but I gotta say- I'm not from Colorado, I just listened to my wife. I gotta say that you're gonna be seeing the Tevas more often and I think that there is a way to transcend in my mind and like,

I'm kind of getting through this sort of like, there's this sort of like guys from the South kind of bias that we have against, we think Tevas- Strappy sandals. We're thinking about those Tevas in a certain way that I'm just trying to let go of. But me and you, we used to wear flip flops with jeans all the time, like on television, like commercial kings,

we'd be walking around with- No. Yeah, and also like- I know we did in the documentary. Looking for Ms. Locklear, we're walking around with flip flops and jeans and it's like, it looked horrible. That looked horrible, but we did it and we thought it was cool.

It's kind of an anticlimactic ending down there. Yeah, there needs to be something more substantial. When I looked at you, the only time I saw you wearing them, you were in lounge wear at your own home. And I said, you know what? I'm not gonna judge a man for what he wears in his own home. But if I had gone out with him. So I didn't bring it up.

But you thought about it. I thought about them, but that's what I thought. I'm not gonna judge a man in his own home, you know? But it's like, I don't know what he's, I don't know where this is going, but- I might be changing my rec to Tevas, and Tevas if that's how you say it. And you know what?

I mean, after the Disneyland airing out situation, Christy having to get, so are you, but now we also have this thing that's like, if you have a thing, we can't both have Tevas. Now I can't, that can't be my thing. Is it your thing? And now I can't do, are you boxing me out? I got the Tevas before you.

That might be it. But Christy got them before you. I mean, my wife was really pushing Birkenstocks. And the only reason I didn't do Birkenstocks, I thought Birkenstocks were equally ugly. I can't do it. I thought they were equally ugly, but they weren't comfortable to me. The Tevas, I feel like I could do anything, do anything.

And I've got this platform on my feet. Okay, we're about to run out of time. We actually have someplace to be. But I have to say, the Continuous Water Mister. This is another graphic novel? Yeah, this is the follow up to Sex Criminals. No, it's that thing, we actually have one here, but I ended up getting one at home.

Mr. Continuous Water. It's what I spray on my hair to get it to bounce back and for the curl to come back. A lot of people are asking, what do you do? Well, I mean, you just spray it with a little bit of water. He mists continuously. What doesn't work is wetting your hair to mister. And you know what?

You'll be like, I need to hit my face with this. Well, I'll just hit your face with it. It's like, you know how when you go to the park and it's really hot and you walk by one of those misters? You can have one in your hand. I highly recommend that. Put any water in it? Any water?

Yeah, you fill it up with- You can use tap water. If we have distilled water on hand, I'll use that. Okay, but it's refillable. And the last thing, I'm actually skipping over some stuff just to spare you. The last thing I'll say, we also have this here, but I don't know what I would do without it at home.

The Downy Wrinkle Releaser. The only reason I'm talking about this is because other day, and we're in the wardrobe room and getting ready for GMM, and Stevie walks in to ask us something and I'm like spraying this thing directly on my clothes. And she looks at me and she's- You're wearing the shirt.

I had it on and she's like, you're spraying yourself with Febreze? I was like, no, it's not that bad. She didn't know about the wrinkle release. And so I just feel like I have to tell the world that there's this spray that if your shirt's a little bit wrinkly and you don't wanna steam it and you don't wanna iron it. I don't know how it works.

You just spray it lightly on it and it just, those wrinkles go away. You can get travel size. You know, you people who are breaking out the ironing board in your hotel room. I'm here in my Tevas just spraying myself with water on my hair and wrinkle release on my clothes. I'm from Colorado.

Huh. See, but you're, I mean, we're both, we're plaid boys today. Neither one of us is their thing. It's not yours or mine. I think you could also wear Tevas. I think there's definitely multiple situations. There was probably whole Teva families at Disney

that you just didn't, you weren't thinking about it. I wasn't. The last thing I was gonna mention was the Aura Ring. I know you used to. Yeah. I didn't buy a lot of crap, but that was a big thing that in full disclosure, we invested in Aura Ring. After buying it independently and being satisfied with it.

Well, you got this because the NBA players were wearing it and monitoring their heart rate and their health and stuff and all the COVID of it all. But then it's just like all the biometric measurements in this ring are, they're more in depth and more accurate than the biometrics on my watch that I also still enjoy and wear because it, and you can also try. I think there's-

Kiko also got one. You got the Oura Ring, you like it? Yeah, we're investors. Yeah, I just ordered the next generation, which constantly monitors your heart rate, not just while you're sleeping. But I love the way that it connects with the app and it tells you what your readiness is

and it kind of gives you permission to take it easy if you need to. Well, the- The app will tell you to do that. The thing that, it kind of, again, you can do, the reason that I love it is that you basically, it lasts like a week on a charge. Whereas I wear the Apple Watch quite a bit, but like I'll get ready to go to bed.

I'm like, oh man, I gotta charge this thing. And then so. Yeah, I mean, it's technically four to seven days, the Ring will hold a charge and you need to charge it during the day so that you can wear it while you're sleeping. But it also charges in like 30 minutes. Yeah, it's super fast.

Yeah, it charges fast. But like I used it this past week when I'm trying to make sure, like having something tell you that you got all the sleep that you needed and that this was the nature of your sleep. Yeah. For me, it gave me this like assurance that like, okay, yes,

you're doing all you can to keep from getting sick as your family drops like flies. The way that it works with the app and the way that communicates with you and optimizes your exertions and your resting is much more holistic than with the watches. Your question about the Tevas, I mean, I think two guys who are best friends

who both have a ring on their right hand that looks pretty similar, we have different models, but essentially, just like, I think that that's probably more like, hmm, those guys both have rings. Now, if we had the rings and the Tevas at the same time. And the plaid. And the plaid. I mean there's- And the beard.

There's a, I mean listen, I'm heading towards, here's the deal, I'm not gonna get rid of the beard, I can't, you're eventually gonna grow a beard, I mean at some point, right? Yeah we know where this is going. I'm gonna get glasses at some point, I mean- We're becoming one person. It's gonna happen. We fought it and we're no longer caring,

so it is actually going to happen. Yeah. So that's all the stuff that I bought and some of the stuff that Christy bought that I took credit for, and that's a third of the stuff that you bought. Yeah, not even a third, that was probably a tenth. But it was just inconsequential, like spirulina,

you know, I didn't mention that, that was one, you know. Got some of that, got a one, you know, got some of that. Got a whole bag of it. Okay. Hashtag Ear Biscuits, let us know what you think about what we bought.