Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett Gets in a Car Crash | Ear Biscuits Ep. 426

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

THAT was a close one. In this episode, Rhett & Link talk about the notable times they’ve been in car accidents, with Rhett detailing a very recent one that left him wondering if his car might be cursed. Stay safe out there! Visit BetterHelp dot com slash EAR today to get 10% off your first month. Get Rosetta Stone’s Lifetime Membership for 50% off! Visit https://rosettastone.com/ear. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. to reward Slayer. Rise to it with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card and get rewarded for paying your credit card bill in full and on time each month. Terms and conditions apply. Click the banner or visit bmo.com slash rise to learn more. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Brett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're going to talk about some close calls. I had a very close call, my friend.

And we've had close calls. Well, I saw that your car is injured. We talking about a close call with a big car wreck? Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks for asking. I was in a wreck. I was in an automobile accident. Crap. Okay. All right. We gonna leave them in suspense a little bit on that? I like that shirt, by the way. Thank you. You want it?

Do you make it? Yep. I crocheted it. That's nice. Okay. Well. I don't wanna leave him in suspense unless you got something else.

Oh, I got something. Oh, okay. I got a little something for you. Oh, go ahead. Let's leave him in suspense a little bit. On the fam group chat, that's me with my family. Yep. You know?

Easily confused with other families. What is yours called? Sean and Barbara's People. Oh, yeah. Okay. Mine's FAM, all caps. Okay. I don't know who did that.

I think it was Lincoln. Got a picture. Lincoln just puts a picture in the group chat, and it's of a lobster. And I was like, dang, son, you're out there at college eating fancy lobsters. And then he puts another picture right after. And I thought. Like a lobster that you eat?

Like, look. So he sends this picture of a lobster. It's like splayed out on a black table. And then he sent this picture right there. And I was like, damn, you ate every bit of that lobster. Including the shell. And then I realized this was not a before and after of eating a lobster.

This is like a dissection of a lobster. This is in a class. I guess it's pretty obvious now that I realize that each part of the lobster was kind of pinned down to the table and splayed open. I don't know. This is some new restaurant. And then the next, yeah, here in LA, this could totally work. And then in the next one, what is that? This is a lobster skeleton?

What is that? No, that, it's like a- I have an X. Oh, it's a totally different thing. It's a totally different animal. It's like a lobst- Why does the middle look the same? Go back to the middle?

Go back to the lobster? Oh yeah. Just because it's splayed open. I think that's what they're doing. It's some, I didn't, it's a big cricket. It's a large, large bug, which is technically what a lobster is. Hey.

Large bug. But I legitimately thought, oh, well, you just ate all that lobster. But no, he had dissected two different things. And you know- So he's learning things. Lily's response was, what the frick? And Lando was like, what is all of that blood?

Lincoln's like, basically. And then he's like, what is all of that blood? Like, it's like, basically, and then he's like, juices. So is there no cursing on the fam thread? I guess not. Cause what the frick? I mean, I listen, I've heard Lily talk before. Oh yeah. She came back home with her independent adulthood.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all have. I mean, when you go back home with her independent adulthood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all have. I mean, when you go back home, do you let the S-bombs fly or the F-bombs? When I go back home, where? Like, when you go back to hang out with your parents. No. So not even now, as like a 46-year-old, do you curse in front of your parents? I don't think I would say the F word.

I've never said the F word in front of my family. But my mom does watch Yellowstone. She's like, I like everything about it, except... The cursing is hard to deal with. They say the F word so much. I mean, listen, I'm not saying this is good, but my media family, me, my wife and my children, it's like a family of sailors at this point.

I don't know, it's just like- All of you? Everybody. Yeah, we're not like that. We're a dirty talking bunch. It just happened. Like, I think what happened was, is when Jessie finally decided that she

was gonna talk dirty. And I don't mean talk dirty. I mean curse. Yeah. Freely curse to express themselves. Then everybody else is like, the barn doors are swung open. And I've talked about it on the show before. I think cursing is very useful. I think if you do it too much, it becomes less useful. So I can't say that... I mean, it's not crazy, but I'm saying if I could see myself in the past

and I heard my family talking, I would be like, what happened? Where did we go wrong? We've completely failed. Yeah. This worldly bunch. I think you have, yeah i have uh i mean we're still holding on to some semblance of values in our home yeah no i i mean i will say um

i mean if something really astonishes me i'll say damn oh and then if if I have to pick up a dog dookie, I'll say that it's shit. But not much more than that. That's good. Not much more. If I get really angry, I might go all the way to make an F-zibit. Oh, but you, I mean, but you will say the F word in front of me. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. What if it's just you? I'm just, I mean, but you will say the F word in front of me. Yeah.

Huh. Yeah. What if it's just you? I'm just, I'm trying to. What if it's just you and your wife? I'm trying to give you an edge. What if it's just you and your wife though? I have to be really angry, but I mean,

but she's also, when she gets angry. But there's a difference between just you and your wife and then you and the broader family. It's not like, just like, shooting the breeze. Like, I know that my older kids, I, you know, I've overheard them shooting the breeze. Oh, have you ever like walked up on your kids and they didn't know that you were there

and they were like talking to their friends? Yeah, I mean, when I talk shooting the breeze, I'm talking like, that kind of shooting the breeze. Yeah, I mean, and I- You know, like letting, just letting. No, and I've had conversations like, I know this is how y'all talk.

I know this is how your generation's taught, but guys, there's other ways to describe things. So I'm actually blaming my children. That's what happened. That's why we talk so bad in our home. I think Lily's done a good thing. Like, when you talk, the way that you talk, just bring it back home.

I don't like the idea of my kids coming back home and then being the person that they used to be as if we expect them to still be those people. So if you're gonna, however you talk, just talk that way. I don't care. I don't care. And it's just a little bit of maybe getting over it. The balancing part is like some respect for like the conversation climate in the home.

And also knowing that there are environments in which you need to be able to enter into environments where there is no cursing. You need to be able to turn that on and off. And some people lose the ability to do that. Like if you're a guest on Sesame Street. Yeah, yeah. You can't be. Which we're still hoping for. Cursing on Sesame Street.

I mean, I'm just holding on to that. Yeah. We've had Cookie Monster on our show, but we haven't been on his yet. Not been on there yet. I will say one of the things, and I don't typically do this anyway, just because I was trained so hardcore

to not use the Lord's name in vain. So even like saying, oh my, I'll say like God or oh my God now, like, but back in the day it was always, gosh, I don't really say like Jesus Christ in exclamation. I don't say JC. I will say goddamn if I'm really, something's really amazing or upsetting.

But. I will say if I'm really excited if it's after midnight. After midnight? I'm like, I think if you were to plot the times where I might have. Goddamn. Said that. I ain't gonna say, I can't say it right now. Oh, good.

Well, what if somebody's listening after midnight? But if it's after midnight, maybe I'm in a loose mode, and I'm real just frivolous with it. By yourself? No, just like, if I'm at a soiree, a get together, a little function. After hours, early morning hours, soiree,

you might use the Lord's name in vain. Yeah. But I think this is something that if you were raised in a similar situation to us, you can relate to this, but there is this like almost, I've actually, now I don't have the sensitivity, but for most of my life, the sensitivity to hearing someone like literally, if somebody would said GD,

somebody said goddamn in a movie, it was like, in fact, to this day, I still know people who like, the F word, they'll let it fly, but if somebody does that, it's like we have to turn that off, you know? It's so offensive, it's jarring. So one of the things that we've talked about with our kids is like, hey, listen, like, you know, it's so offensive, it's jarring. So one of the things that we've talked about with our kids is like, hey, listen, like, you know,

when you're around your grandparents, don't, you know, don't, just don't do that, just out of respect. Like, they don't wanna hear that. Right. So don't like, don't use God's name or Jesus' name in, as an exclamation, as a curse, okay? Because it's just, even though we don't really think there's anything wrong with it, you know,

it's offensive to them and you can respect them and not do it. And they have no problem doing that. But like, you kind of forget like, oh yeah, that's like the worst thing that you can say. Also don't dissect lobsters and send it to me under the guise of a meal. I'm offended.

The thing I was most concerned about was the fact that he had eaten the shell. Cause did you think that he had eaten it at first? I was like, here, he ate the shell. I thought he had done a joke on you. I ate the shell. I ate the shell, Dad. No, I'm just dissecting.

I mean, that's a visceral little thing that he sent our way. I'm glad that just dissecting. I mean, that's a visceral little thing that he sent our way. I'm glad that he's learning. I guess that's what happens when you're studying psychology? That seems like it was probably a biology class. I know. Maybe general ed. He's a freshman.

He's a freshman. You know what? I am very excited to tell you this, and maybe you know this, maybe you don't. We don't know exactly how all this works. We don't know what you know. That's why to tell you this, and maybe you know this, maybe you don't. We don't know exactly how all this works. We don't know what you know. That's why we tell you things. The Good Mythical Tour, you know, you guys were so enthusiastic in buying up those tickets

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That's it for 2024. We look for cities we could add so that we could see some more people and make it convenient for you to come see us and enjoy the show that we're very excited about. There's a lot of you down there. That's all we got. But yeah, Texans, come on out November 15th, 16th. Goodmythicaltour.com.

And again, if you're a member of the Mythical Society, you get early access to tickets. That's how that works. And then they go on sale to the general public. And if this is anything like the original ones, the majority of tickets and most all of the meet and greet tickets, they go to the Mythical Society members. It's another advantage of being a Mythical Society member.

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I saw, when I got out of my car, Christy told me that you were in an accident of some sort. But she said everything was fine, and then I forgot about it. Because she said you were fine. Thanks for asking. And then it was days later. Yesterday when I parked in the parking lot, I got out of the car. You might have pointed it out or maybe I just saw it.

I was like, oh crap. So it's like the back left of your car. The quarter panel they call it. The back left quarter panel. And the bumper too. Was totally bludgeoned. It was hit pretty hard. Okay.

So I'll tell you what I was doing. I was driving. My wife was in the passenger seat. My son and his friend were in the back. Full car. Oh, that's rare. It's rare. Man, you got three other lives in your hand, dude.

And I was merging onto the freeway in a place where I was already on the freeway, but you're merging onto another freeway, and there's like a lot of people kind of coming together. And it was on Saturday, but L.A. traffic on Saturday can tend to be pretty bad. So it was pretty congested. And I am merging, and I'm not just like merging from an exit lane, I'm coming off out of like two lanes that are going into six lanes.

How fast? I mean, by the time that this happened, I had to be going 45, 50. Oh. You know, I'm getting up to speed. And there's cars all around me though. And I'm merging and then all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, and I think actually in my rear view mirror

is where I saw it first, I see a car that is completely sideways. So- Completely sideways. So- Completely sideways. So like- Behind you. You look and you think that you would think that this car should be going the same direction as you. Yeah. But the car is kind of going the same direction,

but also coming at me sideways. And I'm like, what the hell? And then I start swerving to the right. Like it's kind of a split second decision. I'm like, I'm not gonna like completely swerve to the right because I just merged and there's probably somebody over there, but I kind of like move over a little bit,

but it happened so fast. And then this car that's coming sideways at the back of my car, I was like, is it gonna miss me? Is it gonna miss me? And then boom, it just hits me right on the back of my car. I was like, is it gonna miss me? Is it gonna miss me? And then boom, it just hits me right on the back of the left. Now, not at the tire, behind the tire. It actually made a little contact with the tire. I've looked at the rim and saw that like, oh yeah,

it actually hit the tire too. Part of that car hit the tire too. Now, somehow, I didn't, like, I didn't even really have to do any corrective driving. It wasn't like it knocked me sideways like it had happened to the person behind me.

It just kind of hit me and I was like, I'm still going and I think we're okay. I don't feel like I got a flat tire. I need to get over to the side. And then it- Was there a sound? Like a loud crunch, right? Oh, yeah.

It was a crunch. And I was like, oh yeah, I'm damaged. You know, these cars when they, you know how a wreck sounds with these modern- They're absorptive. Yeah, it's like plastic crunching is what it sounds like. Like a plastic bottle under a boot.

So what I think happened was is that somebody behind me was going along and then somebody behind, like directly behind me, must have merged really aggressively while this person was trying to get off at the exit. It's one of those places that you're merging, but some people are trying to leave the highway,

so there's a lot of cross traffic. And somebody clipped somebody like this, boom, and then I'm up here, and then they just come into me on the back. So somebody side swiped this person that then went sideways. Then side swiped me. Came into you, okay. But didn't hit me hard enough

to do anything other than damage. So there was no place to stop on the side of the road because it was one of those places where there's no shoulder at all. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna get off of the highway. I'm gonna exit. I'm gonna park and make sure my car is okay to drive,

look at it real quick, and then I'm gonna go back a couple exits, get back on the freeway, and try to find where these people are stopped so I can stop and be like, hey, let's exchange information. I don't know whose fault it was between y'all two, but when you figure it out, you're responsible for my car because I'm just a dude driving. Yeah, and so the person that hit you,

did you then see them in the rear view mirror continue to go in that same trajectory to the side of the road? I didn't see. So you didn't see. I don't think that they did though. I think they hit me and kind of stopped. Right there.

Okay. Now, the other thing, because I'm driving a Tesla and there is a, you get cameras on the car and it records everything. The other thing, because I'm driving a Tesla and there is a, you get cameras on the car and it records everything. That's right. Now I have an external drive hooked up to my car and I haven't, you know, this is one of those things

that like when you get the car, you like look at it all the time and you like, you think about this feature that you have and like, you're like, oh, let me see what I recorded. You know, you like, you think about this feature that you have and like, you're like, oh, let me see what I recorded to, you know. Yeah, cause I remember you told the story of coming back to the car and there was a guy. Saw a man's penis.

Peeing on your car and his penis was. He wasn't peeing on my car, he was peeing next to my car. But there was a point blank shot of his penis. His penis was 12 inches from my camera. Now it wasn't 12 inches, but it was 12 inches from my camera. Now, it wasn't 12 inches, but it was 12 inches from my camera. Oh, God. And you watched it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. Me and the boys watched it. It was an old man on a bike, and I was like, this... And I found it, and then I was like, I'm going to make them watch this, and they're going to get the biggest kick out of it. That's hilarious. I was like, look what Dad found on the cam.

Boy, sit down. I got to teach you a lesson. Watch this. It's going to tell you everything you need to know. They laughed so hard at that. So that's still on the drive. I can break that out for you if you want. No, thank you.

Definitely saved that one. You can see everything that happened when it's red. Break that out for you if you want. No, thank you. Definitely saved that one. But I didn't- You can see everything that happened when it's red. But I didn't really understand how it worked, and I regret this. Because what you have to do is you have to- Now, if you beep the horn or honk the horn, whatever your preferred term is, it will go back and keep the previous minute or so. Or if you reach down and hit the record button on the app,

on the interface, it'll do the same thing. I didn't really know that's how it worked. So what happened was, like, once I pulled over, I hit record and I was like, okay, I don't know how much, I don't know if that's going to get all the way back to the rec. And then it took me like two days, like the drive was messed up and I couldn't review any of the footage. It's like the drive is screwed up. I got the drive hooked up to my computer.

It took me forever to actually get it to be seen by the computer. And then I, long story short, I didn't record the wreck. Oh. So I don't have any evidence of whose fault it was and other license plates or whatever. So I think, I don't know. So hold on. So when you went back. They were gone.

They were gone. Well, there was no, what? You know how it works in California though, right? So if you get into an accident in California on the freeway and your car is still drivable, you're supposed to drive to a place where you don't block traffic.

Okay. That's the law. The law is if you can drive, get off of the road. We got a lot of people who need to be on the road. Yeah. And so I think what happened was, is the wreck wasn't serious enough where they actually needed to stop for an extended period of time. So I guess no one else got hit.

That person going across the road, the people behind him didn't hit. They hit me and then everybody else stopped. It didn't create a pileup. So I think they got like approximately the same amount of damage on their front end as I got on my back end and maybe there was a little damage from the clipping.

And who knows? They may have done, you know how it is. A lot of accidents in LA are hit and run. It's like you get hit and then people are just like, I don't wanna deal with this and they drive off. Yeah. In fact, most people that I know who have been in an accident in LA, it was a hit and run.

It's very instinctive to do that. Yeah, and you're like, oh, okay. I gotta get out of here. And so, yeah. You did a bad thing. I'm in the process of working through that with insurance. But it's also the kind of thing where my car is fine. It's just messed up looking.

Yeah. And then you ask yourself the question, do I leave it? Yes, you leave it. Until it's really convenient. Hold on. You think I do leave it? Yeah. Yes.

Really? Why? What, do they give you another car? I guess they'd give you another car. I don't know how long it was gonna take. You have to pay for it or do an insurance claim. Yeah, I don't know because I've definitely had cars that were pretty wrecked.

I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, it doesn't look that bad. And also having a little bit of like, and it's not really a little bit, it's pretty substantial. Having your car kind of messed up makes you feel like you can just keep messing your car up and you don't think about it. Yeah, well, and do you want that? I don't know.

Because it feels like I'm at the life cycle of this car where it's time to start wrecking it a little bit more. If that's the case, I think you need to fix it. Treat it like a bumper car. I think you need to fix it. Because at some point you're going to want to sell it, trade it in. And then you're like, yeah.

And you will fix it right before you do that. It's a little rough around the edges. So why not, if you're going to fix it before you trade it in, fix it now so you can enjoy it in a way that doesn't incentivize you to make it a bumper car. Well, we've always done that with our cars, but I've never let something this severe. Oh, you usually let fender benders just stay bent?

Yeah, you know. Lincoln's car has a big dent in it. My wife is a wonderful woman. She's actually never been in any, well, she's never hurt anyone in a wreck. She's had some accidents. But you drive around. But the little things like,

oh, I hit my bumper on something and it's messed up a little bit and there's a scratch. We've always just left those. Why deal with that? Well, when I backed out of the movies in Christie's, this was a minivan at the time. You know, I like- It changed into something else?

I busted the whole door in and she was out of town. And I got that thing fixed before she got back because I was like, there's no way I'm gonna make her drive a car where you can't open the door. Is that North Carolina? It's my fault. No, it was here. My mom ran a minivan directly into a pole

in the McDonald's parking lot in Lillington. Remember that? Wasn't she stuck on it? I mean, it was a family joke for a long time. Like my dad would just talk about how, how did she work up this much speed in a drive-through? Or like, you know, cause it was a Plymouth Voyager, remember those?

And it was white with a- Wood panel. Fake wood panel stripe around it. It was a beautiful van. But she got, she hit it so hard, she got hung up on the bollard. Well, it totaled the cup of beautiful van. But she got, she hit it so hard, she got hung up on the bollard. It totaled the van. But we did not drive the van again.

That's wild. I mean, Lily's, we, you know, I drove the, we both drove that Scion, the refrigerator car.

It was a company car for a while. It was a company car. And then it became Lily's car. And she wrecked that thing. She got hit in a quarter pan on it. And it got wrecked. And we... I don't think we...

Did we ever fix it? I think I traded it into CarMax. It was pretty substantial. And I never fixed it. It was... Because I wanted her to have to drive it around that way. It might be more than what I had. Mine's pretty scrapey.

Yours was like somebody really caved this car in. Yeah. Hard. Yeah. And I was like, well, you know, she said it wasn't her fault. I said it was. And then I said, we're not fixing this. You're just going to drive it around this way.

I think that's good for a kid. I thought that was good character building. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids should have beat up cars. And Lincoln parked his car in a place and then somebody backed into it and didn good for a kid. I thought that was good character building. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids should have beat up cars. And Lincoln parked his car in a place and then somebody backed into it and didn't leave a note. You telling that his fault as well? Apparently, because we haven't fixed that either.

You gotta watch where you park. It's been four months. It's just hard to fix a car, you know? That's the second accident I've been in in LA. I was also in the carpool lane. Before we get to the second accident I've been in in LA. I was also in the carpool lane. Before we get to the other accident, I just want to camp out for one second on how bad this could have been because this car that's going sideways,

I mean, if it would have hit squarely on the wheel or a little bit in front of it, there was somebody in the seat behind you. It would have hit the person behind you, that shepherd or shepherd's friend, right? And then it would have smushed in that side panel and activated a side airbag. This thing, so you would have had airbag deployment.

They would have had to have been going faster than they were, of course, yeah. If it, the dent that I saw on the back of the car, if that were the- If that was in the door. The door, it would have deployed, I believe. And at that point, I mean, the airbag could hurt. Yeah, you really got to do something about that if you have just a deflated airbag.

I mean, if you would have controlled in a different way and it would have hit a little bit earlier, you could have then been fishtailing. You could have gone into a roll. You could have hit somebody else. This could have been an eight-car pilot. I mean, am I overblowing this? A little bit, but, I mean, things could always be worse. Things could have been a lot worse.

You literally drove away. I could have been going a lot faster, too. As did everybody. If I was at... 50 miles an hour. Yeah, but that's not 80. Like, you know, everybody's working up to 80 around here. That's what you're really trying to get to.

I know, and I mean- That's probably going forward. Were you shaking up? Was there like- Weirdly, no. Were your hands tingling with adrenaline? It's weird because Jessie was like, "'Are you okay? I'm sorry.'" Did anybody scream?

No. No one said anything. I think I may have been like, oh shit. And it was very much a- Okay, you didn't use the Lord's name in vain. It was very much a, this is an inconvenience. Like right from the beginning,

right as it was about to happen, I was like, oh shit. You know, like it wasn't- Even before it happened? Yeah, it wasn't, I was about to die. You were like, what an annoyance. It's like, oh no, I gotta deal with this. And then I was happy when I looked down, I was like, oh, my car's still intact, I'm driving. Were you upset when you went back and nobody was there?

I wasn't upset. Because you have to have that awkward. Because I was also thinking like, all right. Roadside altercation. What am I gonna run into? What am I gonna run up on What am I gonna run up on? Am I gonna run up onto two people who are, they're arguing and they're like,

oh, now the third guy is here. We didn't even know we hit you, sir. You know, they're mad at each other. I'm like, well, once you figure it out, let me know, because whoever's fault it is is also for me. But you didn't pull, you didn't think to go to like another exit to see if they were there. You wouldn't like track them down.

It was, I don't, it just was, there's so many cars out there and so many different ways to go. I know. I just don't, I don't want to be in that situation where I'm like, I mean, you're in like six or eight lanes of traffic. And it's backed up and backed up and you finally get up there and there's like somebody in a car and like they can't even get to the shoulder of the road. Ooh, like that's a bad feeling.

Like I do not wanna have that feeling. And I don't know- I definitely don't wanna be in an accident where I'm on the side of the road and there's like- I don't know why- I don't drive like it. The funny thing is is that as I've established, I do, I have anxiety about things,

but I have anxiety about things like my health, travel, but I don't have, I'm not afraid of many things other than heights. I'm not afraid. And so it wasn't like, oh, I'm really shaken up in my, like I would be interested to see, I probably could go back and look at the data,

like how my heart rate was impacted because it didn't strike me that. Well, if you were annoyed, probably not that much. I don't think I ever felt like I was actually in danger. If I had felt like I was in danger, I would have gotten upset. Sure. What was it?

So, well, you, so pretty much unscathed. Are you going to repair the car or not? I'm saying just wait, wait until next time you take a longer trip. Well, I'm currently inquiring what the impact on insurance would be. Because I actually just had, oh, you know what? Maybe I'm in a bad way right now

because I had my windshield busted. That's right. Just three weeks ago. How did that happen? Because it wasn't just like a little thing. This could have been. This was like a windshield spanning crack. Maybe I'm like in one of the, like the beginning like a little thing. No, no, no. This could have been. This was like a windshield spanning crack.

Maybe I'm like in one of the, like the beginning of a Final Destination movie. Maybe I'm like, maybe the world's coming after me because. No, I'm not riding with you. I'm riding, I'm on the highway coming up to. Don't come for me. I'm just a friend. I'm on the freeway coming into work.

And I'm just a friend. I'm on the freeway coming into work and I'm just driving along, getting ready to take the exit. I'm a few exits away from the exit to come in here. And I just sort of see this, I mean, it was so, it happened so fast. This metal thing that is as big as a phone. Wow. And I do not know, it could have been a wrench. Like it was very hard to tell what it was,

but it had come off of a truck and it was spinning like a tomahawk coming at me, right? What? And I just see it eye level, and I'm driving right into it, and I don't even have time to slam on the brakes or anything, and it just hits my windshield. In front of your eyes? So no, it was eye level, and then it kind of dropped. Thank God it dropped.

And then it hit the part of the windshield that is on the very bottom, which is kind of like supported by, there's more car underneath it. You know what I'm saying? Like your windshield goes down and is like. Down there where the wipers nestle. Attached to, it's like a black backing. Okay. It hit that and busted all the way through the windshield and like,

was like, I can't go through this anymore, there's no more glass, and then bounced and then broke in the middle of the windshield. Oh wait, it started rolling up the windshield. It rolled up the windshield like, that fast. I was going 70. And it immediately cracked the windshield in a substantial way.

It was like, okay, I can't let this go. And I got that replaced. Did you pull over? No. Were you annoyed? Were you immediately annoyed? Exact same emotion. It was just like, oh, shit.

It's just all about the inconvenience. That one sounds scary, though, coming right at you. Well, I thought about it, and I was like, man, that was a large piece of metal just flying through the air, and just, what if I had it going right through the middle of the windshield and into me? Mm, damn. It didn't. I lived to tell the tale.

It probably wouldn't. I got that replaced and insurance paid for that. And I don't wanna, if you're looking, I gotta say they've dropped the price of this Tesla to like $32,000, which is, I think, a pretty reasonable price for a new car. But replacing the windshield was like over $1,600 to replace the windshield.

$1,600. Yeah. And insurance, you pay a deductible on whatever insurance takes care of it. But like- And I think- That's not normal. Like if you're driving a Ford

and you get your windshield busted, it's going to be a few hundred bucks, I think. I think there's something, because it... That's not normal. Like, if you're driving a Ford and you get your windshield busted, it's going to be a few hundred bucks, I think. I think there's something because it's so big or something. A lot of places will come out and they'll just replace your windshield wherever. It's that rudimentary. We had to bring this one in. Well, yeah, because it's a Tesla. And there's usually, like, windshields are a different insurance coverage.

Like it's its own thing. Because it happens a lot. It's its own thing, yeah. Versus like what you got to deal with. And that is a question. That's a real sort of test of your, there's a lot of people who will let a crack go for a long time. I got a crack on the FJ. There's a crack on that windshield.

It's been there for years, but it's small. It's a teeny crack. So if you are thinking that you're in a potential final destination scenario, you should definitely wait to repair the back panel because, you know, you might die. And you want to accumulate some more attempts on your life through your car so that you can repair them all at once. That's what you need to do.

But I've done a lot of- I've done a lot of- See how many more times. I've done a lot of statistically dangerous things in the past. I was talking to Jesse about this when we were in Florida. And one of the things I forgot about was, and I said this on GMM,

and I think we put it into a more, but like, you know, I went paragliding with Shepard and hated it because I'm scared of heights and it felt very much like a- Being pulled behind a boat. Yeah. In the air.

I did it because he wanted to do it. My dad swears by it. I can't get over it feeling like I'm just being held up by these little things and I don't, and I'm a big man. But then the thing that we did that we had to get insurance for that everybody thought they had figured out, maybe they did, I don't know.

We'll figure out if they did or not. I've been doing a lot of Final Destination-y things is what I'm saying. Yeah, but maybe it's your car. Maybe the car is cursed. Maybe the car is on Final Destination, not you. Let somebody else drive the car. I should let somebody else drive it's your car. Maybe the car is cursed. Maybe the car is on final destination, not you. Let somebody else drive the car. I should let somebody else drive it for a while.

See if they get in any trouble. Let somebody borrow it. Not me, but yeah, because I know what you're up to, and I'm going to say no. Okay. I'm not going to do that. Where would the car have caught a curse? Is that how curses work?

You have to be in the physical proximity? I believe it's like a virus. I think somebody can curse. People, there are directional curses. Here's the thing. You have to like be in the physical proximity. I believe it's like a virus. I think somebody can curse people. There are directional curses. Here's the thing. There's so many people driving these Model Ys. I guarantee you what happened was,

is somebody in my neighborhood, this is what happened. There's so many people with the same exact car. Down to the rims. Somebody cursed my car thinking it was somebody else's car. Oh. They missed Tesla'd me. A witch sent it in the wrong direction? It might not have been a witch.

It could have been a warlock. You don't know. Don't assume. All right, what if? Somebody cursed my car and now, I think maybe if I just leave my car and now, hmm. I think maybe if I just leave my car out and see what happens to it. I don't necessarily think somebody has to drive it

because if it's on the road, just parked on the street, like what if you end up backing into my car? What if you end up clipping my car? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would count. I might have a cursed Tesla. You need to wait. Just wait a little bit to get it repaired. Do you have to put that, do you have to disclose that when you sell the car?

No. Is that a blue book thing? No. Cursed or not cursed? No. Definitely not. Flooded, yes. Cursed, no.

Not at all. Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you Rogers. My other accident in Los Angeles was of no consequence, but again, annoying.

It was in that little sedan that I used to drive. And I was in the carpool lane. Why was I in the carpool lane? I was by myself. Well, that's illegal. That's why you got in an accident. No, no, I had somebody with me. well that's illegal that's why that's why you got in an accident no no I had somebody with me

it was me and um I think it was me and Shep getting ready to go someplace I'm not like I don't do that I don't drive in the carpool lane unless I got somebody

or I'm in an EV well it's like a $400 fine yeah it's also it's not about a fine it's about being a useful part of the system

okay um I stopped I saw a guy It's about being a useful part of the system. Okay. I stopped, I saw a guy coming too fast. And you know how you can tell that the guy's about, he's coming too fast? In your rear view mirror? And you're like, let off the brake a little bit to try to like, but there's somebody right in front of you and you're like trying to slow down, get as close, you're trying to like minimize the impact.

Yeah. That was happening, but he skid right into me and bam. And then I got out and I didn't look mad. I can imagine that when I get out of a car, people are like, oh gosh. It's a tall one. You know, but I got out and I looked and his license plate thing with the little screws

had like put two holes in my back bumper. That's it? And I was like, all right, man, just. He skidded and that's all it did? Give me your number, man. I think I'm all right, but just give me your number. And then we just kind of went on our day.

I like taking a picture of people's license. You've done this? I've done that. What scenario? I don't remember exactly. I just remember, I just have a memory of that. Maybe it's just, I have an intent to do that. Because now that I think about it,

I don't think I've ever done it, but I intend to do it. Give me your number and let me take a picture of your driver's license. That's when you got them by the nads. Seems intrusive. Well. But if they're accepting responsibility for it, they should give you a picture.

Yeah, because then they'll just screen your call. They never call you back. And it's like, well, I know who you are. I know where you live. I could be you if I needed to be, you know what? I rear-ended somebody on Los Feliz Boulevard, like first year living here. It was bumper to bumper traffic, stop and go. Literally, in your case. Yeah, I went when I should have stopped. It's easy to bumper traffic, stop and go. Literally. In your case.

Yeah. I went when I should have stopped. It's easy to get confused. Family was in the car, a little embarrassing. Had to get out. And I was like, hey, just let me know, I'll pay it. Just let me know, man. And I gave him a picture of my driver's license.

No, I don't know. I might have. That might have been what I'm remembering. Maybe somebody took- Somebody did that to me. Somebody did it to me, but to make myself feel more powerful, now I'm intending to do it to other people. Yeah, I've done it. That's what's going on

in my brain. I've had it done to me. I mean. Well, I mean, all the accidents, of course there's the most famous accident that we got into when we were in high school. We've told that one before. That's like the egging houses, eight people in the back of my pickup truck,

three people in the front, that classic story. Yeah, told in detail on like, Good Morning Chia Lincoln. Good Morning Chia Lincoln, yeah. It's like our dumb near-death experience, a near-death car accident. That was a defining moment. Something like that.

A defining moment for us. But I also have the one where I was in my truck in college, same truck, and I was behind the bus. A bus was pulling out, turning right, and I thought it was going to come into my lane. And so I got over more on the shoulder, and there was like a curb there.

And so I got over too far, and my wheel hit the curb. And then because that truck didn't have power steering. Reckon. The whole steering wheel just like went over to the right and here I am going straight. And then I ran dead on center into a tree. That tree saved you. Cause it was a big hill.

Yeah. I would have just gone out down to the hill. And then it was a big hill. Yeah. I would have just gone down to the hill. And then I called a wrecker, and they pulled me off of the tree, and I cranked up the truck, and I just drove away. And then we got it fixed later, but it turns out that the radiator was leaking after that. Yeah, I would say that would be a common result. And then the engine overheated when I let my friend Eric and his dad borrow the truck after that. You gave him a cursed truck.

Yeah, I did. And then it exploded. Not exploded, but it overheated. No, that wasn't the end of the truck. We got... Oh, yeah, you kept driving. My mom got Eric's dad to pay to fix the truck because... Slick.

Because it was... They had it when it... Yeah. I say exploded, but... Hey, listen, man. If we're playing catchphrase and I hand you the machine right before it goes off. Right. Who loses?

You. But I don't think we knew. We didn't make the connection at the time for some reason. My mom certainly didn't. She's not that type of person. She was like, they didn't drive it right. And you know, when I went and saw Eric when I went snowboarding. You told him this?

It just came up in conversation. Like, you know, it was such a strange thing. Like, your mom made my dad pay for the truck, but it was obviously not his fault. I was like, yeah, that did happen, didn't it? We just laughed about it. It was just one of those awkward things. They probably talked about it for years. Yeah.

That time we borrowed somebody's truck and it malfunctioned and overlaid us. Yeah. That time we borrowed somebody's truck and it malfunctioned and overlaid us. Yeah. They had to like, you have to shave the head or something. I don't know, shave the gasket. I don't know exactly, I don't know anything about cars, except that if you hit a tree with them, it's not good for the car. Had that accident.

Yeah, so two of your major accidents were just you running into something Yep Running into that ditch with all the people Running into the tree I mean I also ran into the We would take You talk about treating your car like a damn bumper car

We treated my truck like A Baja off road truck It was just like Four cylinder two wheel drive pickup But we would take it and just go off in all these, like, careening

on all these dirt roads. We did that in the Dynasty, too. We did it in your, like, Dodge sedan. My main solo wreck, if you want to call it a wreck, was probably weeks after I got my license, right?

And we were on that... The cutoff at Johnson Farm Road? Yeah, and I took that, and I didn't know how to drive, and so I didn't understand about correcting for your turn, like turning back into your turn, so I took that hard left... On a gravel dirt road. On a gravel dirt road, and it just basically spun out,

and because the car started going sideways, the tire popped and rolled up under the car, basically is how that tire went flat, so that it went down to just the rim. Yes. And is that when we went to Mr. McClam's house? We walked across a couple fields. So we went to our eighth grade-

We didn't have a phone. Our eighth grade math and English teacher's husband's house. Well, her house too. Yeah, but he was the one that we knew we needed to talk to to get him to help us. Yeah, Mr. McClam said, all right, boys. And we went out there. And I was like, I just want to,

basically it was unspoken, but the idea was we got to get this tire off of the car, put the spare on, and I got to get this fixed and never talk to my dad about it. Right. Of course, the problem was he took the tire iron out and started trying to remove the rim from the axle, and he couldn't get the lug nuts. He stripped it.

And so then he starts stripping the lug nut. And then it's like permanently on there until you like go to a shop to like have- It has a special machine to get stripped lug nuts off. So I think we ended up getting towed. Yeah. I had to call my dad i was like dad mr mcclam has totally screwed up my and i think i obviously i i mischaracterized it to my dad i was like yeah i was probably going faster than i needed to but you know got a flat tire what can you do bum me, you know? I was careening around this dirt road

in a Dodge Dynasty, which is, you know. Four-door sedan. The peak of luxury. It was a nice car. Supple, supple little velvety seats. Great back seat, great back seat. On that same cutoff in the Nissan pickup, we were going around and then we were doing the same thing. A big turn and we're like cutting it too close to the ditch

and then it just skids and we go into the ditch. The driver's side goes down and the passenger's side where you are lifted up. And it fell on top of you. Yeah, because we were almost vertical in the ditch. It was such a deep ditch. And then the other side of the ditch was so tall that it went up above the truck. And so to get out, we both had to open your door

and crawl out that way. But the thing is, is the funny part was, I'm sitting next to you, and of course we don't have our seat belts on. And so I just slid, and we're just sitting there together in the driver's seat. Yeah, and we didn't hit the ditch. On our sides.

We didn't actually hit anything. We just kind of bottomed out and turned sideways. And there was no driving out of that. I mean, it was like- How did we get out of that? I called my, well, we drove somewhere. Well, not drove, we walked somewhere, probably back to Mr. McClain.

Oh, no, no, we walked to Joe Gardner's house. Yes, we did. Because he lived on the corner in that house. Yep. And we called, we used the phone and we called my Papa Clyde, my mom's dad. And he was not happy, he came out there. So how do you get a truck into a ditch like this?

Yeah, it's harder to explain away He was not happy. He came out there. So how do you get a truck into a ditch like this? Yeah. It's harder to explain away than a flat tire. Yeah. And so he called Sheryl's wrecker service. Who he also knew and went to high school with. Yep. And then he came out there and pulled me out of the ditch and there was no damage to the truck.

It was just an incapacity. It was just a difficult lie for the truck. It was just stuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like in golfing terms. Right, we had to just get out. So that one, yeah, I got towed off and then I just drove away. So when- You've done that twice.

You've been towed off of an obstacle and driven away. That was high school. Yeah, so then in college when I hit the tree and the tow truck pulled me back and I cranked it over, I was like, well, I'll just drive away again. That's just what you do. If you can drive away, you drive away. You drive away.

Man. It's amazing. It really puts things into perspective. When I think about like my kids doing dangerous stuff, which, you know, both of my boys have a tendency to do things that I think in comparison to their peers, or at least what I know of kids their age, tend to be pretty, they'll go places, climb on things, and shepherds always on the one wheel.

They do dangerous things and they do get hurt. That you know of. They probably do stuff you don't know of. I don't know, man. It's just like compared to the dumb stuff that we were doing. I know. We've avoided injury.

I mean, we never did donuts though, I will say that. It was always just like dirt roads and skidding. Because I felt the donuts felt irresponsible. Well, that's property damage. Well, you know the story, I've told this story before. My truck wouldn't do a donut, I don't think. You remember what Cole did? Yeah, it's been so long, I'd love to hear it again.

This is so great. So the first car that my brother had. I mean, this is a good morning, Chia Lincoln story too, but I'd love to hear it again. And who knows if I'll tell it the same way, but I'll tell it as it sits in my brain right now. Right. The Oldsmobile Omega,

which we had bought from our neighbors three houses down. It's an ugly car. It was like the most generic brown sedan you could imagine. I think it was a beautiful car, the more I think about it. Have you looked at a picture of it? If you bring it up, you'll be like, that is actually a beautiful car.

Because it's boxy. There's like a retro-ness to it. Now, was it four-door? I don't think so. I think it was just two-door. It was a retro-ness to it now. Was it four door? I don't think so. I think it was just two door. It was a two door, it was small. Yeah. And there's a whole different story of what I ended up doing to it when I ended up getting it. But my brother had it and he was a typical 16, 17 year old.

So what Cole would do when he would come home, you know, we lived on that little dead end road. There's not a whole lot of road there. And back in the day, there was this gravel that had kind of like spilled out from the field that was across the street from our house. And so like, there was this one third of the road on the turn was just gravel for some reason

because all this stuff had kind of spilled out into the road. It was that way for years until they completely blacktopped the whole road. And so if you weren't careful, you would lose traction on this part of the road. Now you're usually going like 25 miles per hour, so it doesn't matter. But the way it works is you come around the curve

and then you can see our house, or at least you can see where the basketball goal is. Yeah, like- Because we put the basketball goal in the street, of course, right, because it's dead end. Because how many yards of a, kind of a straightaway are we talking about? Once you turn, there's one, two, three, four, five,

six houses. All on the left side of the road. All on the left side of the road. Now there's houses on the right side of the road. Good gosh. At the time there wasn't. So Cole comes around the turn and he's going pretty fast just because that's how you drive when you're that age.

Were you in the car? No, this is the whole point of the story is the fact that I'm shooting basketball. I'm in the street shooting baskets. And he sees me and immediately thinks, well, I'm going to do something impressive. You know, my little brother is out sitting there, and so I'm going to just do a dumb older brother thing, And I'm going to just like, take this turn like a demon. And so I hear him and the thing was so loud. Like the car was so loud. Like it was just,

something was wrong with the car, but he gave it all he could give it and came into that turn and completely loses control. Spins around, goes up into the field, like dirt's going everywhere. And I'm watching and the car, he goes sideways and the car catches on two wheels and goes up into the air. What? And then, like, pops back down, you know? Like, he was like, this is gonna roll, but no, he's not going quite fast enough.

And then just like, boom. And then I'm just like looking at him. That's something like standing there with a basketball, just like looking at him. And I'm like 100 yards, still 100 yards away. And he just kind of like, just slowly drives back onto the road and just drives. Drive of shame.

Drives right past me, parks in the driveway, and just looks at me and goes inside. He almost rolled it. We never talked about it with our parents. I mean, I think we talked about it later, but we definitely, I'm not, I'm not gonna tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brother code. I'm not gonna tell

mom and dad this. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they might see the skid marks and like the displaced soil. It could have been anybody. At the curb, but yeah, it could be anybody. Oh my God. I mean, when you,

just go ahead and tell the other Omega story too. Two for one here. I feel bad about this because I think about this from the perspective of a parent now. You know. You were 16. It was given to you as your first car. It was handed down to me as my first car. It's the car that I picked you up in on October 11th, 1993, probably?

Yeah. 94, I don't know. And... Yeah, the moment you turned 16. By that point, the car, obviously my brother had not treated it well, as we have established. And there was just something, I don't know-

Was that Omega mean ending? Yeah, I don't know- Doesn't Omega mean anything? Yeah, I don't know anything about cars, but I do know that I don't think it was ever supposed to be as loud as it was. And I also think that it was supposed to be able to go faster than like 48 miles per hour. But I was just kind of like, this car sucks.

My dad's got that, he's got a dynasty. He's got two dynasties. Yes. And he'll get another something. He needs to hand me down one of these older cars. I can't be going into the rest of my high school with this car. He paid,

he bought it for, I think, he bought it for $1,100, I think. Hold on, this is not the passing story. Well, no, I'm talking about the- Tell both of them. Okay, the passing story is gonna be hard for me to remember the details, but- It's good for your brain.

So we went to school in the middle of nowhere, and every road that led to the high school was a two-lane farm road. I remember the road you're on. It wasn't that one. It was coming from Coates. The road in between Coates and Bluey's Creek. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was coming from Coates.

And there was a big dip. There was a big dip down the hill, and then you had to go up the other hill to go into Buies Creek because I was in the car with you. All right, well, I think you need to tell the story because I don't remember the type of car that I was trying to pass. I don't remember the type of car, but if you were going to pass a car in the Omega,

you needed everything you could get. So it's like you're behind this car coming out of Coates, and you're just waiting, you know? It's like, where's my moment to get... I remember now. ...to get past this car. And I got to the place with the hill, and I pulled out and I floored it. And that car is just like... Like it goes... I'm redlining RPMs, right?

And I'm in the passenger seat. And I'm like, we're doing it, we're doing it, we're doing it. I look over to my right, and there's the person that we're passing. There's the person just looking at us. We are even. In a deadlock. So I'm like, all right, I give it more. More than I already had.

It's like you do that thing where you let off and give it again. We said, I'll give it! We look over, and the person is still there. Just looking at us. Like, just driving. We weren't racing us. They're not speeding up. No, he was just doing what he was doing. It wasn't the kind of situation where the person is trying to keep you from passing.

No, it's an innocent driver. It was the car I was trying to keep you from passing. No, it's an innocent driver. The car I was in was keeping me from passing. And by this point, it's like third attempt, now you're bottoming out at the hill. Yeah, and so I kind of just... You're in the holler. I gave it one last go. There's still even... Look over there, he is.

And so I just sort of... Just slowly let off. ...shamefully let off and get behind him again. It's like... And you just get behind... And then you gotta go. Shamefully let off and get behind him again. It's like... You just get behind... And then you gotta go all the way to Buies Creek behind this person. That story is actually probably the reason that I ended up doing what I did to the Omega, which is... I was like, this thing really makes a lot of noise,

but it really doesn't ever translate into actual speed or power. And I was still flooring it quite a bit. And I just noticed it was getting worse and worse and worse. It's one of those things, you're 16, you don't just tell your dad what's going on. I don't know why. You're like, dad, like something's wrong with the car. You just thought he was able to just drive slower.

Yeah, I guess I anticipated that he wasn't gonna do anything about it. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. And on the way home one day, I was like, today is the day that I kill the Omega. With the power of my own foot. And I-

It's not really a smart thing to do. Yeah, I mean, it was probably dangerous because for the like nine minute trip back home, which was about 11 minutes for me typically in this car. From high school. Yeah, I just floored it the whole time. And that incredible, like I was redlining the entire way back home.

Until I got to our street. You just hated it. Yeah, I got to our street and it was just like, it was making all kinds of new noises. And it kinda, I don't remember exactly how it died, if it died, like as I rolled and I got home. I got home and parked it. And that was when I went inside and was like, Dad, I think something's wrong with the Omega.

It's probably what Cole did years ago that I never told you about. Let me tell you that story. And we got rid of it. And I did, I inherited the Dynasty. I feel bad about it because it's the idea of just like that you would take this thing that your parents gave you and just, you know,

ruin it. If my kids did that to me. It was an $1,100 car that had been passed down. It was old. It was a 1981. Yeah. It was kind of like

if your dad wore a shirt, gave it to your brother, and then your brother gave it to you, and then it just had, instead of taking it off over your head, he just ripped it off like the Hulkster. yeah you know it's like it's kind of like

all right it's had its moment but it's funny how um little like i think about i'm sure that me telling that story on good morning sheilincoln which was now 13 years ago. Having not revisited that story in 13 years, you see how little of it that I can remember. Like I'm sure there's details that I don't remember. I just haven't accessed it. Go back and watch it.

But that's the beauty of having told the story on the internet. That's right. We can go back and watch it. That's the beautiful thing that we have. Oh man, that was a wild ride. All right, I have a recommendation for an Instagram account to follow. I've shown you this account.

I just love it. You know, there's all these people doing all types of like AI animations and they're all trippy and weird. But my favorite is a stream called Geddy Ruxpin. It's a reference, I guess, to the talking stuffed bear, Teddy Ruxpin, Geddy Ruxpin. I don't know what else Geddy would be associated with. There's music on a lot of these videos,

but I like it better without the music. It's very surreal. A lot of it is like 50s sci-fi scenes created by AI. And it's just super strange. And the way that a lot of mascots, it's like, warning, it's very, very, very creepy. But it's all these kids, kids mascots that just look totally effed up.

And a lot of things will morph over time. You'll have this amazing looking weird clown woman that becomes a clown mannequin or something. And like it behaves in this weird AI kind of way. It's just- What are they using to make it do you think? Oh, I don't know. But I love it.

I just love how this stuff just moves around on the screen. And like, there's real people interacting with like, strange, I don't know, it's just, you just gotta get freaked out by it. Geddy Ruxpin. Mm-hmm. You're welcome. Drive safe, y'all.

Yeah. And call us. Let us know what you think or what you want to share or what you want to correct or whatever. 1-888-EARPOD-1. We'll talk at you next week. Rhett and Link, I agree with you, Rhett. I was drinking too many regular sodas. I switched to diet, and then I got tired of the caffeine, but funny enough, down here, if you become a Florida man like me,

at your local Publix, you can find Diet Dr. Pepper caffeine-free. I can pop open one at nine in the evening and feel no shame. My life has never been the same. Have a good one, guys. Cheers to you.