Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett & Link Want You To Listen To This | Special Release

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

In this special release, Rhett & Link provide their thoughts about Stevie’s new podcast “Best Friends Back, Alright!” and why they feel "Ear Biscuit" listeners would enjoy the series. To make it easy to get into, they toss to an episode EB listeners don't have to leave their feed to enjoy! If you like what you hear, be sure to follow “Best Friends Back, Alright!” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey guys, we wanna give you a little something extra this week. Stevie has her podcast, Best Friends Back, all right, that she's doing with her high school best friend, Nagin. And we thought that you as an Ear Biscuit listener would be especially into not just this podcast, but this particular episode,

the third episode of the podcast, where Stevie kind of gets into the details of what it was like to be closeted in high school and what it was like for Nagin to be her best friend and to not know. And she goes into the details of how she kind of came to grips with that. Yeah, so we're gonna play that episode for you,

or at least a part of it, so you can just conveniently start listening. But I'm really excited about Best Friend is Back. All right, because it's, in a lot of ways, it's like a female perspective of, kind of like what Ear Biscuits is for us, you know, two friends reconnecting and then building a stronger connection.

And I think that's the operable question for them is like, having been friends over 15 years ago, can they rekindle that connection? Can they be the friends that they used to be? And with something like this particular episode, it gets really interesting. I think there's a lot of important things that are shared from Stevie's experience that I certainly learned a lot

and there's bits and pieces of it that I knew from talking to Stevie, but the way that she was able to put that all together and share her experience of coming to grips with her own sexuality, coming out of the closet to herself, I gained a lot of insight there. And I do think it's very, I think it's an important conversation.

So we wanted to share it with you. Yeah, and so in a lot of insight there. And I do think it's very, I think it's an important conversation. So we wanted to share it with you. Yeah, and so in a lot of ways, because what has come to define Ear Biscuits is this friendship and this connection that the two of us have, and also at times being vulnerable about our past and what's going on in our lives. We thought that the theme of this episode

and the story that Stevie shares is really on brand for Ear Biscuits and for the kinds of conversations that you've enjoyed in the past. So please enjoy this piece of Best Friends Back All Right. Welcome to Best Friends Back. All right. The show where two high school best friends try the best friend thing again.

I'm Nekin Homayfad. And I'm Stevie Wynn-Levine. Oh, shit. I forgot I was continuing. Today, we're going to be talking about being closeted. Wow. What a seamless intro into being closeted. I think I nailed it. Into a pretty traumatic part of your adolescent experience.

Yeah, I'm no longer closeted as a bad intro segwayer, so that's what I'm coming out as today. Hey. How you doing? How you doing? I'm good. I'm excited to talk about what it was like back then because I'm in a good place now. So it's allowed me it's going to allow me the freedom to kind of dig in and and and evaluate some of the shit that was going on back then. So I'm excited. I always like talking about kind of the queer experience.

And I hope that there are people listening who can either glean a little something from what we're going to talk about today or roll their eyes repeatedly and perhaps propel something via rolled-eyed energy, in which case that would also be a productive you can get there let's get there yeah they could like churn eye ice cream which honestly is a disgusting thing to say because i immediately am envisioning like eye sleep frozen creamy oh yeah yeah speaking of disgusting i'm on my period oh ah yes that's

also what we needed to work into this episode i'm on my period and i'm sorry it's been a rough day it's been a rough couple of days literally like the energy is dripping out oh my. Oh my, okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It was a disgusting, it has been like a difficult, difficult couple of days, but something happened that made me go back to high school and it was such a vivid memory. Okay. So I was, it was, so I was rifling through, I was rifling through my, my, um, bathroom cabinet looking for a tampon. Okay. Looking for anything that would absorb what was happening to me. Oh, my God.

I couldn't find a tampon, and somehow, somehow, I found this, like, old vintage pad. I do not know. I have not purchased a pad in maybe a decade. Oh, my God. You found a stranger pad? I found a stranger pad. I do not know. I have not purchased a pad in maybe a decade. Oh my God, you found a stranger pad? I found a stranger pad. And I had a moment. I had a moment. I had a really fun moment. In that pain, I had a moment where I flashed back to high school when I also wore pads. Yeah. But they were your own at that time. But they were my own. They were my own. They were hot pink. Wait, what?

Yeah, like the wrapping was hot pink. Oh, oh. It was a nice, normal white. And I flashback to that feeling of walking to the pencil sharpener when you were on your period or having to walk up to the front of the room and being so afraid right that you were leaking that somebody could god forbid see the pad outline through oh yeah yeah yeah oh my we were wearing some tight pants back then too if the pads had been at our ankles i feel like we would have been okay because there's a lot of ankle space going around the pants. Yep. But that's actually not where your vagina is. Yeah. Turns out. Turns out. Yeah. I would wait. I would wait till a specific moment in class when people were doing work and it was less likely that they would be looking up. That's when I would walk to the front to sharpen a pencil

or ask to go to the bathroom because I was just so, was so self-conscious wait can we go back to the stranger pad did you use the stranger pad and can was it was it hot pink what did it look like it was white it was thick it was like a thick super like a medical vibe it wasn't a medical vibe but it was like a diaper without the band. Cumberbund. Yeah. Cumberbund. Yeah. Do you know exactly what I'm talking about? Yeah, like a waistline. Yeah. I would have used it. I would have used it if I couldn't find the tampon in the end. Oh, you found a tampon. Because you were leaving me hanging for that whole story. I mean, I was like, i hope she's plugged up over there because who knows i eventually found one in the in the again in the apartment bathroom they had like sanitary sanitary napkins available you should have taken the vintage pad and then barged in on no barged in on zach and like who

was here who was here whose pad is this were you sitting with someone else who left his pad on the back? We found it. We found a really, really strange sports bra in our laundry once, and I did that whole thing. Turns out we had friends that were visiting, and it was theirs. But I was like, which ho-ho were you sleeping with from the gym? Tell me now, Zach. Tell me now. From the gym. I totally know where you're coming from because, speaking of sports bra, that reminds me of when you have to get your first bra, which is more of a middle school situation. That's like a precursor to the period embarrassment because I was actively embarrassed about having to wear a bra. Oh.

Any, anything. Were you not? Was it a padded bra or just a. No, just, just a bra. No, I, I was excited. Okay. See, I think this is the, maybe the like queer woman experience versus a straight woman experience. Maybe.

Okay. like queer woman experience versus a straight woman experience maybe because to me having to get my first bra was like really embarrassing which is so weird i can't explain why because it's not like i agree like society has made period something that you don't talk about and therefore it's very easy to see why it's embarrassing. But like bras isn't an embarrassing thing. And I've definitely. Well, where were you buying the bra from? Because if it was Victoria's Secret, I totally get why that would be embarrassing.

No. Because it's so sexual. This is like a Target situation. Please. For the like mosquito nips? No, no, no, no. There's no. Well, actually, I guess there's some mosquito nip bras at Victoria's Secret, probably. But no, I think it was, you know, it's a good segue into the topic of conversation that we're having today, because I

think it's a good portion of this is also, I think, about gender identity and like not having the proper terminology apparently even now to talk about feeling like different or feeling less feminine and more masculine and I'm only using those terms because I don't have any other terms that come immediately to me. And I think the broad discussion and the period discussion falls into that category of like the older you get as a female, these things happen and therefore are confirmation that you are a woman. And I think that as a kid, you know, one of the first things I remember in regards to kind of my perception of my gender or or sexuality was like when I was, you know, first taught like when I was a toddler preschooler. There was a period of time where I asked my parents to call me Scott. I was like, call me Scott. Because I bet Scots were pretty successful back then I don't know what it was but like I was

embarrassed by being a girl like I was embarrassed by being a little girl and I think that at that age it's not like anyone's dating anyone or anyone has a perception of that so like it wasn't like anyone's dating anyone or anyone has a perception of that. So like, it wasn't like, well, I'm playing with Tonka trucks and I think I want to fuck a woman. Uh,

it was more like I'm playing with Tonka trucks and it is embarrassing when you acknowledge the fact that I'm a girl. Yeah. So it would be better for me if you just went ahead and went with Scott, uh, for, for the time being. Interesting. So did your parents call you Scott when you asked them to? No. No. And I think that, I mean, we'll certainly get to the role that my parents played. By the way, they listened to the first episode of

the podcast and I could sense that they weren't going to keep that from me but then they couldn't so then they had to say that they listened to it because they were like adding some little hints that I was like I think I talked about that on the first episode of the podcast and then I put it together that oh they're trying to like hint at me that they listened to the first episode and and they did and they enjoyed my dad, you know, remember the first episode. He didn't like that impression. No. He was fine with the impression.

He wanted to argue the percentage point that he offered of the content of mine that he said not watch. I recall specifically him saying, I don't watch 99% of the content you make. And he recalls saying like 95. He would like to argue that the four percentage points that I left out leaves a lot of room for content that he watches. And therefore that like, yeah, 1% to 5% was unfair to him. So I would like to come back and correct that he doesn't watch 95 percent of my content, not 99 percent. Okay. Okay, Mr. Levine, you win yet again. Yet again. So no, they did not call me Scott. But in terms of the Tonka truck of it all, like I remember playing with what was, quote, the boys toys Like, I was always Ken when we played Barbie.

I was always the dad when we played House. I always wanted to be that traditionally, like, male role. Okay, interesting. Whereas I always, always wanted to be the mom. I did not want to be the baby. I always wanted to be the mom. I did not want to be the baby. I didn't want to be cared for.

I'm fucking Cumberbund. Who wants to be the baby when that's what you have to i wanted to wear the pad in the family you remember that american girl doll book you know the book the puberty book oh no oh my god really you don't remember it was fully illustrated and it was like a puberty book for girls. And it was by it was under the American Girl, you know, brand. And there was a whole centerfold of illustrations. of in, I say this because it was step-by-step guides of inserting a tampon with illustrations. Yes. Wow. Yeah. That book was eye-opening for me. That's so smart. I mean, I never, I was never exposed to that. I also had an older sister. I do think having an older sibling who has gone through similar milestones is a huge advantage in some ways, right? Because you see them go through it and go through the awkwardness of it. And then you can course

correct. Was she helpful to you in those moments? Were you like, oh, you're a mentor to me? Like, I just started my period. What do I do? Or like, or no. Not, I mean, now she is, she's an OBGYN. So I ask her all of those questions. You're like, how do you insert a tampon? She was not a trained physician. No, I wasn't allowed to wear tampons. Oh. So the tampon thing was like that.

It was, I mean, culturally, like, I don't know. I'm saying it's cultural, but I don't know any other Iranian girl that easily got to insert a tampon without there being some like slight hesitation. Tell me more about that. It seems like it's like a woman's thing. I mean, it's a like penetration aspect of it. I think so. I think so. And it's like the way they grew up and they being my mother and women of her

generation in Iran. I don't think I should look this up if tampons even existed in Iran, but it was like the way they did it. And I think for a lot of immigrants, when they come to the United States, there's this like holding on to the way things were done, like a strong holding on. And a tampon is probably like we're not gonna let that straw break this camel's back this is like too womanly to do something like that so you think it was that and not there's no like medical question or like oh this works perfectly well so you don't need that type of thing or or, I think that she's like, this is what I do and this works for me. Yeah.

So you should just do the same thing. But I remember being curious about a tampon but being scared of it too because of the penetration. I'm like, what if it gets lost? We could have a whole conversation about the things we put in our body and on our body to be women. Oh, yeah. The long list of things I've lost in my vagina. I mean, we could go an hour.

And honestly, maybe a little show and tell, you know. A little American doll grown-up version. Yeah, you can tell me what things are because Lord knows they've been up there for so long, it's probably hard to decipher what's up there now. But it sounds like you had these feelings of not fitting in at an early age. Well, I don't know if I would classify it as not fitting in because I think that as a kid, you actually are very accepting of other people. So like when I wanted to be Ken, great. We need a Ken and we're not playing with boys. So like, great.

Oh, people will let you. Okay. Yeah. I thought there was resistance. That's perfect. No. And, you know, I think that it's something that extended through middle school. And I remember saying to myself, I'm going to fit in in high school. Like, because, you know, I went to such a small school and I kind of was the class clown of the 12 people in my grade.

And, you know, it was, you know, boys in middle school wear soccer shorts when it's really freezing outside and it makes no sense. That's how I was. Like, it wasn't like I didn't fit in because it's hard, like hard not to fit into a group of 12 people that you've grown up with. So it was just like that was my niche. I was the class clown that wore the soccer shorts and was a tomboy and it all worked out fine. But taking that with me into high school seemed like an impossibility. Why? Why did you think you had to change something about yourself? Did you know something about Grimsley? I think it was an insecurity that

if I, you know, if you don't fit in, then people, you're going to isolate yourself. Like you want to have friends, you want to be accepted. And so you do things in order to fit in to be accepted by other people. very easy, you know, to wear a polo or an Oxford and not feel like tomboyish necessarily. But, you know, the boys are also wearing Oxfords and polos. So it was like very easy in that way to kind of, you know, skirt the line a little bit. Totally. And that's what was being, I mean, I remember you were always wearing like American Eagle. American Eagle. I feel like American Eagle was your favorite brand. Only because my parents couldn't afford like Abercrombie or Hollister. Like, you know, so American Eagle was like, you know, the semi-affordable version of the other two brands that were so cool. Well, thank God you didn't do Aeropostale.

Yeah. Because my goodness. No but you were always you had a uniform and it was always like a collared something with distressed tight-ish jeans. Yeah which was a uniform that was being sold. Exactly that most people were were wearing so. That was on the mannequin. Yeah. But like, you know, to a certain extent, like that was like a classic look like a polo is like a pretty classic look. So you're not like I mean, I think it was trendy at the time. But the point was I fit in. You know, I didn't. You weren't like, oh, look at that fucking lesbian. And so, sorry, at this point, coming into high school, did you know you were gay? I think I always knew I was different. I think I did know. I think there's certain things that happened during high school and moments that I had that were confirming. But I think it was really difficult to admit to myself. I think part of it has to do with the conservative Southern setting that we were in.

Not just being a closeted gay kid, but like, you know, we talked about how the majority of people were Baptist, Methodist, Christian. And I remember I lived across the street from neighbor girl. So it must have been right before our freshman year. And our parents were like, oh, you girls are going to Grimsley together. You live across the street like you should hang out or whatever. And I remember going over to her house and she was hanging out with another girl and they were on their little the staircase in the foyer in this traditional house. And I walked in and I was obviously nervous because I wasn't friends with these girls, but I was like, you know, wanted to hang out. And the first thing this girl says to me is, are you scared of going to hell?

And I was like, what? And she was like, are you scared of going to hell because you don't believe in Jesus Christ? Oh, my gosh. So she was mad that you were Jewish. She wasn't even mad. She was genuinely asking me. Like there was no there was no hate behind her question. There was no hate behind her question.

She was taught that if you don't believe in Jesus, you go to hell and that Jewish people don't believe in Jesus. So she was just genuinely curious, like, how does it feel knowing that you're going to go to hell? And I never like I knew that obviously I'm Jewish. I'm not Christian. makes me different but I had never been confronted like to my face in that particular way and I think that that's like a good setting of the scene for the general vibe you know around us at the time was like it was it was weird that I was Jewish it wasn't weird to us it wasn't weird to like our our friend group. But it was weird to, you know, the majority of people around us. And so like that conversation, like, you know, I honestly, to my credit, was like, I'm going to explain to her why I don't believe in hell and I'm not going to hell. And like, actually, I don't think that that's true.

And we like had like a civil exchange because, again, she wasn't coming from a place of hatred or anything. But like, I think imagine being Jewish, but then being closeted and gay, which honestly was so much worse to be in the eyes of like this kind of Southern Christian conservative lens is like, you don't believe in Jesus and also you're gay. Like, man, like, I mean, looking back, I should probably toss that in. Like, you know, I actually am extra scared because I'm also gay. Let's hang out.

School's going to be fun, ladies. Wow. Have you guys seen that american girl book so yeah so i think that um you know i was very aware that that i was different not just just because i i was i was gay and i think that at grimsley specifically i can't i didn't know anyone who was gay. Did you know anyone who was gay? I can't recall, but I looked in our yearbook and I saw that we had, and I remembered this, but we had a gay-straight alliance, GSA. And I remember there being one, but there were a number of people. One gay?

one but there were a number of people one gay though no there were a number of people in the club which to me means like this group i don't know it could have been 20 to 30 people really yeah well see i don't i don't remember that at all i don't remember i don't open up open up 2006 yearbook oh i thought you meant like open up your mind. Open up your mind. No. No. So seeing that made me realize, okay, there was a group of people who, I mean, it's a gay straight alliance, but there were people that were either out or outwardly accepting of gay culture. So that's really cool, especially in an environment like the one that we were in because also those

years were kind of crazy so in the in like the world or in the world yeah yeah 2002 to 2006 i mean you brought up our president bush with the pretzel story but like he in, he tried to pass an amendment that would forbid same sex marriage. Yeah. In the Constitution. In the Constitution. It's because whoever baked those pretzels was gay. He got mad. Yeah.

He got mad. Yeah. So I'm curious. I'm really curious how the what was going on in the greater world outside of Grimsley, outside of Greensboro affected the way you perceived yourself or your comfort with coming out? Well, and my parents were Bush supporters. Like, that's the other weird thing is that my parents are conservative Republicans, which is weird as a Jewish kid.

But like, yeah, they have always been. So like, that was also a big thing is that it wasn't just like the world I was surrounded with was conservative. My parents are conservative parents like, you know. sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Can I ask you, we talked a lot about like the Christian context and how that was limiting. What about the Jewish context? Like, did you go, what were, what was the temple or the synagogue saying at that point about homosexuality, if anything? In general, unless we're talking like Orthodox or like Hasidic Jews, Judaism is very accepting of same-sex relationships. So it was never a part of any teachings or rhetoric or anything like that. Because the other thing is, like, you know, normally Jewish people tend to be very liberal.

So the people that I grew up with were very liberal people. And I do remember one of my teachers at school was gay. Middle school. At middle school. But it wasn't a topic of conversation. And I don't have any specific memory. It's not like my parents were were homophobic at all. It's not like that was a discussion in if my kid ever comes out like they're getting booed out of the house or, you know, and so that that was not the case for me. It was not a blatant statement from my parents and my parents are not. I mean, obviously, because I'm very close to my parents now, but I would say they're there, which I know there's this is problematic to say. I would say they're socially liberal, but they're politically and which doesn't make any sense.

But they're accepting of me and they're not people that hate other people, period. So there was never a discussion in my house that like being gay is wrong. It just wasn't discussed, you know? And so I think that by not discussing it, there was this giant gray area where if you are a closeted kid, your mind doesn't go to, there's a gray area.

Let me go to the side where they love me and everything's fine. You go to the side where, no, they're conservative Republicans and they're going to hate me and disown me and I and I've disappointed time. Like, that's a strike. Like, man, what's the point in me, you know, having great grades and being a good person if I'm going to be gay? But it's also that, like, at the time, there wasn't, like, a lot of representation either. Like, you can't, it's not like a kid in high school is like, well, Ellen exists. You know, it's not like, well, super white, and it has come a long way,

queer representation in our culture. But let me give you a few little fun facts of those. Okay. 2002, we have Rosie O'Donnell coming out as a lesbian. 2003, we have the Ellen DeGeneres show that starts. And then the much beloved Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. So we have two lesbians so far and a group of gay men. And then the L word comes out in 2004. Did you watch that? Do you remember watching this and feeling anything? anything? So I have multiple, multiple stories, but the one that I would come later to find out,

basically, my dad is like a computer nerd. So he set up our TV screen in the den at the time. He like connected a computer to it because smart TVs weren't a thing. So he connected the computer to the TV and you could pull up the Internet and search things. And like Chromecast before. Yeah, it was just essentially like this is just using the TV as a monitor. But at the time it was like, oh, this is awesome. So we used to pull up YouTube and just search for trailers and different things not do that and then years later it I think it came up in conversation at some point and because my parents knew and they had like referenced that they had also stumbled upon that but it wasn't me it wasn't me. It wasn't your sister. It was my sister. And OK, so the

other thing is, you know, going to the video store used to be my favorite thing to do. And I was obsessed with seeing everything that would come out. And I remember walking down the aisles and I would go into the new release section and there would be some days where I'd seen every single movie in the new release section and there'd be one new movie that I hadn't seen. Like I was just obsessed with like all things content, of course. But I remember specifically seeing the covers of the DVDs for The L Word and intentionally being like, don't look at that. Wow. I see it exists. And also like their covers, especially in the early seasons where they when they were like really hanging on like this is a group of attractive lesbians.

Don't you want to watch them? Their promotional materials were like they're all naked. And of course, you can see bits. But it was like, hey, how about we just, you know, bring all these attractive women together, take all their clothes off and then pile them onto each other for the DVD cover. So you can't even like pretend to rent it because you thought about it was about female empowerment and friendship. Yeah. Yeah. It's about love.

Wow. But yeah, so the L word was, the L word and Ellen, that was the representation that I had at the time. So it's like, are you an older comedian

with a daily talk show? Is that what you want to be when you grow up? Or do you want to be a hot lesbian piled on other hot lesbians? I feel like you have found a happy medium between the two.

You should write a letter to these women for inspiring your current life. That is really funny. That is really freaking funny. I feel like that would be, that's a great pinnacle of life. It's your tagline. Rosie O'donnell

meets the entire l word cast oh you're going with the rosie over the ellen i'll take that you know oh sorry i'll take it i really was thinking rosie this whole time oh okay great i thought maybe that was that's better maybe i mean or worse i don't know. I mean, it depends. How do you treat your employees? Yeah, exactly. Shut up. Shut up. I remember it's a Brokeback Mountain also came out when we were in high school. I saw that. I remember that. Okay. I remember that being a what I would imagine would be a negative experience for a closeted person because people were really mean in high school about that movie it was i don't recall that i remember because heath ledger and jake gyllenhaal had a uh sex scene and i remember there were so many derogatory jokes about the two of them and how it was disgusting and i would imagine hearing that would be just like, you know,

not exactly helping the cause of coming out. I saw that movie three times in the theater. It was a cinematic masterpiece. It's funny because at Grimsley, I did not know anyone who was gay. And in fact, the only time I remember encountering anything gay was two women on the women's basketball team. When I was walking to class, I remember seeing them, like, making out with each other and being like, what the hell? And also, these are, like, gigantor women, you know, so it wasn't like, oh, it was like, ah, it was like, there, that's something that I don't see every

day and avoid it like the L word DVD. But one of my good friends in high school and someone that i that i hung out with for the majority of my senior year is um art school boy yeah did he even go to our school he did not go to our school so he went to kind of the arts high school which i really wanted to go to and over at the arts high school things were a lot different than at Grimsley. And so we knew each other through the majority of like the theater stuff I did was actually through the city and not necessarily through Grimsley. So we knew each other through theater, through the city, and we became good friends. And then I remember specifically when he came out to me, which is so weird because of course he was gay because of course that makes sense. But I still was like, oh, it still was a moment of like, oh, I'm having to readjust how I think about you somehow, even though that doesn't affect anything.

But once I became close friends with him, I think it actually helped me in a lot of ways because I also was able to view things through the lens of having a gay guy friend as my as one of my good friends. And so we saw Brokeback Mountain together a few times. And so I don't think I was conscious of that kind of gay slur part of of the world, which I'm sure was happening at Grimsley and in our broader friend group. But I think because I was friends with him, that's the lens I was viewing everything through. And we weren't surrounded at that moment by those things. So I have to ask, you said he came out to you in high school, right? Yeah. Did that open any kind of window

of opportunity for you that you wanted to take to also come out? No. And I think it, I think partially because I was not ready myself. Like I still was in this, like, I think that I'm gay, but like there, there's like a lot of coming out to myself that I needed to do. And when he came out to me, I still had a process that he was coming out to me, which is absolutely ridiculous because, of course. So I just don't think I was in the state to go, oh, now that you've done that, it's my turn. But also, like, he was, like, my alternative friend. Like, he didn't go to Grimsley. He was my theater bud. He was like, you know, a gateway into another group of people.

But he wasn't like my everyday reality. Like I didn't go to school with him. So, yeah. And I think that when it comes to our specific friend group, it certainly is not at all like I felt like you would judge me. not at all like I felt like you would judge me. But also it was very easy to stay closeted because as we touched on, none of our close friends were dating and they weren't having sex and they we didn't really talk about that. And so it wasn't like, oh, we're all talking about dating and having sex with with boys and Stevie's not. I know.

You know, a studious Iranian girl who doesn't have time or permission to date is the perfect companion for a closeted lesbian, okay? My plan worked the whole time. Yeah, so it wasn't like that part wasn't weird. Like I didn't feel weird because I wasn't dating boys for the majority of high school. I felt like, oh, that's what you weren't doing. No one was. No.

Lucinda Melvin wasn't really. Yeah. Like it wasn't a thing. And in fact, like it felt a little bit, you know, we would judge the girls who were like there was like some slut shaming that was going on back then. What were we doing? What were we saying? I think it was just that. I think it was like the use of that of the people we were surrounded with and the conservative vibe we were surrounded with. But like, yeah, I remember it was easy for us not to do those things because there was an air of doing those things is wrong. And it wasn't just that we were getting it from our our parents it was just that was the

surrounding temperature was like the whole not having sex until you're married like the the view of what dating was yes but i also think we were freaking scared of all of that stuff oh i know i was right because i mean people were people were dating in high school, like plenty of people were doing some hanky panky. Yeah. Right. Some version of it. And we were just not about that because it also was like, you know, a boyfriend is a gateway drug to drinking and bad grades. But to your point, I see how it was easy to avoid kind of the whole dating conversation because it just wasn't a priority for any of us, no matter if we were gay or straight. Did you think I was gay? No. When you came out to me, I remember when you came out to me. I don't remember. I think it was 2008.

It must have been summer break because I remember being barefoot, walking down the driveway, and you called me. That is so kind of me. I really did it formally. I did it the right way. I was like, you know what? Not a text. Not an AIM message.

I really appreciated that. Yeah. Yeah. You were like, I have some serious... No. And I don't remember the exact words you used, but I remember you came out to me and you were at that point one of a few friends who had come out to me in college. And so it wasn't my first time having that conversation, but I remember it being, I mean, you must have been so nervous. Yeah.

I mean, because come on, this idea that like no one else. I don't have to call people to say, hey, I just want you to know that I'm a heterosexual. that I'm a heterosexual. Like this idea that you have to call to put your sexuality on a plate for someone you're not even sexually attracted to is so freaking ridiculous. As if it changes like anything else. Right.

I'm telling you so you know I'm a lesbian. You can wear different clothes as a result. like anything else right i'm telling you so you know i'm a lesbian you can you can wear different clothes as a result i mean like what the hell i'm so sorry that you had to do that and that people have to do that but i remember it being a positive conversation and getting off the phone smiling and then i think i went in and my parents were like, oh, who was that? I was like, ah, it's Stephanie. She's a lesbian. They're like, oh. Like she told me that she's a lesbian.

They're like, oh, okay, nice. Okay, so we're gonna break back in at this point and encourage you to go over and follow, subscribe, whatever it's called, wherever you listen to your podcast. And finish this particular episode. Yeah, so in the rest of the episode, I love it when I'm listening to a podcast and someone says,

I don't think I've ever said these things out loud. I applaud Stevie for being willing to share those aspects of her experience and also Nagin for being such a good listener and for being supportive. And I think that's a great example too. So as you continue to listen to the episode, Stevie shares a story of rejection.

Oh yeah. So we'll see. We'll see. And there's some clarity in that, but she put herself out there and I applaud her for it. And I applaud Nagin for how she was a great listener and being supportive, even though she didn't know what was going on at the time.

Yes, so thank you for listening to this portion of Best Friends Back, all right? And like Link said, go over there, subscribe, follow, finish the episode, and we hope that you will continue enjoying Best Friends Back, all right! All right!