Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett & Link’s First Date Stories & Your Wildest Dates | Ear Biscuits Ep.322

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Rhett and Link both share the story of their first dates with their wives, and how they wined and dined them at Outback Steakhouse and Chili’s respectively. They also read some of the Twitter submissions you sent in regarding your most insane first date horror stories, including being chased out of a house by a mysterious old man, having an ex yell at your date, puking all over your date after a kiss, and much more! Plus, the guys take a look at some of your photos that you recreated many years later. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. When you drive a Mazda, you'll find out why RSUVs won more 2024 IIHS Top Safety Picks than any other brand as of June 2024. Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Find out what makes Mazda different at mazda.ca. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett.

And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're going on a first date. In the past, in our minds, we ask you what's your worst or wildest first date story? Could be your first date of all time, first date with your future partner, a blind date, et cetera.

Your story might be featured in a future Ear Biscuits episode. Well, I got news for you. Some of them are about to be featured, but first we're gonna tell our own stories. This is the Ear Biscuits episode. This is it, Rhett. The future is here. Yep, yep, it's now.

And I got some thoughts about first dates and our experiences in general, but I think it'd be good to start with our own experiences. There are probably some podcast hosts out there who could fill up an entire episode of a podcast, maybe even do a whole podcast just based on their own first date stories. Yeah.

Not these two boys. Yeah, and I think my story will shed some light on why that is for us, but yeah, what was your first date? Well, I'll wait. Your Jessie first date? I'll wait until you, I'm gonna just briefly tell the story of my first date with Jessie,

but I'll wait until you've told your story and we're talking about why we didn't have a lot of first dates. Because I think it's multifaceted. Yeah. I probably told this story before. You probably don't hear that disclaimer, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

You know, Jessie and I, our relationship started sort of before it was official because when I met her, I was in college and she was a senior in high school. I love making you retell this story just so you have to tell that story. And let me just say, one of the things I've noticed, and I think this is a good development in society,

but like one of the things that I've noticed about just our kids coming up and the things that they say about the age discrepancy in dating relationships now is the sort of the rule that everybody throws around is you don't date anybody that's not either in your grade or a grade that touches your grade. So one year apart.

Whereas when we were coming up, it was incredibly common. I'm not defending this. I'm just saying it was incredibly common for like seniors to date freshmen. It was just like, it was pretty much the norm 25 years ago. I mean, I dated a sophomore as a senior. Oh, there you go. So that's- Guilty.

Guilty as charged. There's that junior gap there. So I think this is a good cultural evolution that that's not happening as much anymore. Now, but for me, I know, I was thinking I was 19 and Jessie was 17 when we met. And she was about to turn 18, just to clarify, but we didn't date.

We did not date. I just liked her. And when I found out she was in high school, I was like, I can't date a girl in high school, even if she is 18. I'm not gonna date a girl who's in high school. She turned 18 in December of that senior year. But we continued to talk and we continued to see each other at church.

Again, I had met her at church in the first place and our families were friends. So hot. And so it was, I mean, there is something about meeting someone at church that is super hot, just so you understand. Because- It's like a taboo to it. Yeah, meeting somebody at church that is super hot, just so you understand. Because meeting- There's like a taboo to it.

Yeah, meeting somebody at a bar is like, okay, yeah, we're drinking, we're talking, we're there because we think that there might be an eventual sexual connection or some chemistry. You assume. No, I'm saying- That's never happened to you or me. Well, but I've watched movies.

Okay, yeah, yeah, so based on movies. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm saying that that scene is, people don't go to church. That's not in a lot of rom-coms. For the potential, you know, connections in that way. But people- Unless you're Rhett.

But the thing is, is actually a lot of people are. Yeah, oh yeah, they definitely do. But the stated purpose of churches were there to focus on God. But in reality, at a certain age, you're there to focus on the opportunities. So, but again, we did not date until- Christian Mingle, IRL.

We didn't date at all while she was a senior, even though she would say that we went on some things that definitely seemed like dates. The first official date was when she was a freshman in college and I was like, okay, I'm gonna really wine and dine this girl. I'm gonna take her to Outback. And you're also not gonna drink any wine.

Of course not. Outback, baby. But this is the thing. I mean, that's exotic. I wasn't taking her- It's a whole other continent. I wasn't taking her to Outback, ironically. No.

Outback was the nicest restaurant I could even think of to take her to. I'm not joking. You don't understand where we come from. Outback was the nicest restaurant I could think of. Yeah. Now there were other restaurants like in Raleigh. The seats don't even have cushions.

They're like wooden booths. It's very rustic. It's all I knew of Australia for a long time. In my mind, there was a spectrum of restaurants. At one end, you had fast food like McDonald's. I'm not gonna take a girl to McDonald's. In the middle you had Applebee's. Yeah.

Like Applebee's is a nice restaurant first of all, just in my mind Applebee's is a nice restaurant. But it's more of the decor kind of makes it more of a party atmosphere. Yeah. It's a neighborhood bar and grill. But then the end of the spectrum, the absolute nicest restaurant I could conceive of

was Outback because- They serve steaks. Steaks. And it was kind of pricey. And you might have to pay like 16.99 for one. Yeah, for your own meal, just for one. I definitely remember thinking like, I can go out on a date and spend $20 if I do it right. And I was thinking- on a date and spend $20 if I do it right.

And I was thinking- With a tip. With a tip and a blooming onion, we may be getting out of here for 49. Yeah, that's fancy. And that would wipe me out for a long time. Oh yeah, oh yeah. You have to worry about gas money after that. Now, my wife comes from a pretty well off family and Outback was not her idea of a nice restaurant,

but she didn't care. She really liked me and she never would have said anything about it. She didn't think anything of it at the time, really. It was only later that she was like, yeah, there's like a lot cooler, like non- you know, non-chain places. Like I didn't understand that restaurants weren't chains. I was like, oh, there's only one of these? There must be not doing something right.

If you can't franchise this across the world, then you're not doing something right. Yeah. So these are the things I remember. I remember not really what it was like inside the Outback. I don't remember what I ordered. Well, I think we know though. Yeah, but you can imagine 1999.

Kind of the same as now in an Outback probably. 99, 98, 99. I don't think they've changed in there. And first of all, I still like the Outback. Oh yeah. And it's a solid meal every time. But I had a pair of, I had a thing that I would do,

I would go into lots of characters just in general at that time in my life, which is a thing that I would do. I don't know why, I don't necessarily do that anymore. But also- Not amongst your friends. Like I don't remember that being a thing. We would all do this.

Like put on a pair of glasses and start using a different voice. Yeah, yeah. It was very common amongst our group of friends actually. I mean, definitely like making videos, but if there weren't a video camera involved, I guess we would still goof off and do that. No, but I think about like Campus Crusade

and I definitely think about Summer Project. Like, I don't know how you behaved on Summer Project, but I saw Summer Project. First of all, yes, I was there to share the gospel, bring people to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and I did my part there, okay? But I was also, I took every opportunity to like get up in front of everybody

and MC whatever there was. Sure. Right? And so I remember coming back from Slovakia. And I had spent the whole summer in Slovakia like- Being other people with glasses. We were doing these English camps and it's like we had wigs and glasses and we had all these characters.

I just loved that kind of thing. Crazy Americans! I mean, a Slovak audience is a great audience, by the way. I don't know if that's still the case, but if there's ever a group of Slovaks that wanna watch me do comedy alone. It's probably not. Then I'm ready for that,

because I've killed with Slovak crowds. Now, I had a pair of glasses, some of those like Amber Vision, probably the same ones that we ended up using for- Like Walter Sobchak glasses. We ended up using for the redneck characters. Yeah, yeah, you would put those on. Rusty and Lionel, the sons, the original sons.

Are you telling me you took costume glasses on your first date with Jessie? No, no, this was the spur of the moment. I had these costume glasses in my car at all times. Okay, on the ready. I didn't know if I needed to like- In case a Slovak pedestrian walks in front of the car.

Amber vision glasses, and these weren't technically amber vision, but amber vision glasses, those yellow tinted glasses are great if you need to like spot a deer in the sun, which I've never done, but I thought that maybe an opportunity would present itself. So I just had him in my car.

So she's coming to the, I don't remember all the details, but she's walking to the car, and I guess I had my sunglasses, I must have preempted, I must have planned this, because I had my glasses, I took them out and I put them on. And I walked up to her and I said,

"'Excuse me, ma'am, where are you headed?" And I was acting like I was a cop who was interrogating her. Now, again. That's not cop glasses. Again, not really, but you know, it was clear what I was doing. It was flirt. Also, this was at a time when impersonating a police officer wasn't as controversial as it would be now. You know what I was doing. It was flirt. Also, this was at a time when impersonating

a police officer wasn't as controversial as it would be now. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, I'm not gonna get into that whole thing, but like, acting like a cop now, it has just a different vibe than it did 25 years ago. So, Amber vision glasses make you a cop not, my friend.

Well, no, but if you think about, no, actually that's not true. If you think about a cop that has aviators, like a hat, like a police hat and like aviators on, that's actually kind of like a 1980s. Well yeah, but these aren't aviators, these are. No, they're aviators that are amber vision. So they're shaped like aviators, but they're not mirrored.

If it was mirrored glasses, then it would have been perfect. But I didn't have those, I just had yellow tinted ones. So this is all spur of the moment. What was her response? She was, I put her in this weird position because she's told me this since that she was like, she was uncomfortable because I was like interrogating her. But no. Oh, you didn't let up.

No, but she was sort of mesmerized and intrigued by this choice that I was making. Now she had already like seen me do my comedy thing, like in front of crew and she says that one of the first times that she realized that this may be, this guy may be the one was when I was dancing down the aisle at one of those meetings. But so she appreciated this and also she didn't, it was obviously very flirty.

It was the most direct flirting that I had done because I had been saving up. Fuzzy handcuffs? I had been saving up. You know, I've been the good boy who wasn't going to be dating, and we might hang out, but I'm not gonna flirt with you, I'm not gonna open your door for you,

I'm not gonna pay for your meal, I'm not gonna do anything that signals that I wanna date you. But I've been thinking about this all summer. When she comes back, when I get back into town, I'm gonna date her, and I'm gonna take on a real date, and I'm gonna open the door for her, I'm gonna date her and I'm gonna take on a real date and I'm gonna open the door for her, I'm gonna pay for a meal, I'm gonna impersonate a cop.

No rules, just right. And again, I wish I had a script of the things I said, but it definitely worked in my favor. There was a- You wrote a script, huh? No, I'm saying I came up with it in the moment and I'm sure it was impressive and very funny. To her only. To her.

Well, but she was the audience. Yeah, well, I mean, you had practiced on Slovaks. Yeah. I mean, in a pre-internet age. Now, we're all the same now because of the internet, but like crazy American going over there, it's more about you than the Slovak. I don't mean to throw Slovaks under the internet. But like crazy American going over there, it's more about you than the Slovak. I don't mean to throw Slovaks under the bus.

The thing that she said is that she hadn't, unlike me, she had been on a lot of first dates. Jessie had been on a lot of first dates. Yeah. And, but she hadn't, and if you see pictures of me at the time, I mean, there wasn't, not a lot of things very physically impressive about the specimen pictures of me at the time, I mean, there wasn't, you know, not a lot of things very physically impressive

about the specimen that I was at the time. But I was really relying on my wit and my willingness to just do something unexpected and outside of the box. Good, you went for it. And she really appreciated it. And I don't know if we ever went back to Outback, but I kept those glasses in my car for a very long time.

We still have them here by the way, I believe. Yeah, I think they might be at the Creative House on that shelf now. It's probably the same pair. Huh. Because we lost the lens out of them. It's the glasses that- Maybe I found it.

Allowed me to marry my wife. Huh, so that's your first date. That's all I can remember. But then it was very quickly second date, third date, now we're dating, now we're an item. And then a year later we were engaged. Yeah, well, how long did you date before you got engaged? One year.

One year, okay. Christy and I dated for a year and a half. Yeah. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade.

Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, terms apply. Okay. We move quick. I told Christy last night, I'm gonna talk about, we're gonna talk about first dates.

What do you remember about our first date? And she was like, well, we went to Chili's. I'm like, yeah, we went to Chili's. Oh, nice, it's a nice, it's no Outback, but it's a close second. It is lower than the Outback. But just a little bit. So it's, I could probably,

I anticipated that I could probably afford dessert. So I anticipated that I could probably afford dessert. Mm-hmm. You know? And then the bowling that we were gonna go on afterwards. The bowling that you were gonna go on? We're gonna go on, we're gonna go out for. What is it? I don't know what the verb is.

Do? We're gonna bowl. We were going to, the bowling we were gonna do? The bowling we were gonna do afterward. Yeah, so Chili's is nice for a first date when you wanna keep it super casual, especially when you're very fixated on not building things up too much, and really taking it slow.

You know, as I've established. I feel like you're projecting though. I feel like the current link is projecting on the former link. When you picked Chili's, you weren't thinking about taking it slow. You were thinking this is about as nice as I can do. Okay, that may be true.

The other thing that is true is that from a relationship starting dating again, I was coming off my high school relationship that was like, it got way too involved in ways that I've talked about. It was an aggressive relationship that like, it was a lot of guilt. So like, I wanted to change in how I did things.

I wanted to be very super Christian in my dating relationships. I wanted to be very calculated. That probably didn't extend to my decision to take her to Chili's. But as she reminded me, it did extend to like how I asked her on the date. I was like, you wanna hang out?

This is what she remembers. And, cause I asked her last night, I was like, do you remember what you ordered? She was like Caesar salad. Because I had already eaten dinner. Because when you asked me out on what you thought was a date, the way that you did it, hey, you wanna hang out? I didn't even realize that you were asked me out on what you thought was a date, the way that you did it, hey, you wanna hang out?

I didn't even realize that you were asking me out on a bonafide date. It's like you played it so nonchalant. And of course, I'm so much in my head that all of this was calculated. I was like, I don't wanna build this up too much. That's the interesting thing about Link is that he'll be doing something that seems very haphazard

and misguided and ill-informed, but he's actually really thought about it. Yeah, I'm thinking of like all angles of it. That's Link in a nutshell. Yeah, and the overthinking of it is what fuels the chaotic nature of the outward vibe, I think. So you have no clue what's going on in here

when you see what's happening out here, you know? It's like this guy's just flying by the seat of his pants. It's like he's skydiving. But no, it's like I'm driving the plane, but I'm driving it into the mountain. Yeah, definitely. The plane's engine has stalled. It's hot, it's running hot, man.

So yeah, she ordered a Caesar salad because as we get to Chili's, she's like, it's dawning on her that she's on a date with me. Yeah. And she's like, well, shit, I've already eaten, so what am I gonna do? She didn't tell me. She didn't tell me for months.

She may have never told me until last night. No, she told me, definitely we talked about it years ago, but I don't know when she actually first told me. It was well into our relationship when she first told me, it had to be, that like, I blindsided her with the first date. We go to Chili's, it went well. I don't remember too much about it.

Impersonations? I didn't do any impersonations, no. No glasses? No glasses, I didn't, well. No wigs? I didn't wear glasses at the time. I was not wearing a wig, no. Missed opportunity.

I do remember that I had a lot of questions for her, like topic starters. I wanted to really make it conversational and be very inquisitive. I don't remember any of the specific questions, but that was my approach is like, okay, we're gonna be sitting here at Chili's, what the crap? I gotta have things to ask her.

Cause you're like, what if it doesn't go well? Like I'm accessing all this anxiety from like my first girlfriend. It's like, when I call her on the phone, I gotta write down the things I'm accessing all this anxiety from like my first girlfriend. It's like when I call her on the phone, I gotta write down the things I'm gonna talk about. Like there had to have been a little bit of that. Like in retrospect, it was like, oh, we hit it off and it was wonderful.

But like the expectation of that, I think it was having a bunch of conversation starters was like my comfort blanket. Then we went bowling. Like if you could have one superpower, what would it be? My security blanket. I don't think they were that cheesy.

That wasn't that cheesy 25 years ago. Yeah. You asked that question, in fact, I asked that question to Jessie on that bench outside of Macaroni Grill when we first talked to each other. I bet you it was, okay, yeah. And she says, as cheesy as it sounds now, at the time when you asked that question,

it was kind of like, oh, he's asking interesting questions. Now, I wouldn't ask that question now. Right. But at the time it was. It was something that we did. We like to talk about ideas and we like to, you know, we'd like to explore things beyond just like, just the getting to know you stuff.

And she remembers when we went bowling, we went on Hillsborough Street to that, like the bowling alley where we had both taken. Class, bowling class. Bowling PE 486, where we learned how to bowl. Remember the class number. We weren't in it together. I had to go and learn how to bowl at like 7.50

in the morning. That's a strange time to learn how to bowl. Yeah, you're not loosened up or anything. Yeah. And a lot of it was devoted to like, how do you keep score manually? This is a skill that I think would come back to me if I ever need, if I'm ever like in like a rustic environment

where we wanna set up like post-apocalyptic bowling. Yeah, when there's no more electricity. I know how to register a turkey, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Not that I would ever bowl a turkey, I never got that good, but she did remember that my form was very impressive. And of course you wanna take a girl bowling

because you can talk to her, you know? And then when she bowls, you can look at her ass. Let's be real. And she can also look at your ass. And I was real swanky about it. And I would throw that right leg back behind my left ankle. And I just felt like I was just snapping it, you know? Well, if you got Amber vision glasses on while bowling.

I didn't. You can not only see the pins, but you can also see the ass even better. Oh yeah? It's like spotting a deer across a field. She was very preppy dresser. I was like this like 90s alternative big JNCO pants and like-

I'm surprised you could even bowl in the jeans you were wearing. I know. It's like you could literally hide three bowling balls up each pipe pant leg. Right. Bleached blonde hair spiked up, thrift store shirts that smelled funny

even after you washed them a bunch. That was both of our styles. Bowling was good, we didn't want the date to end so we went and got some coffee and we talked about her ring that she still has that I said, it was like a sterling ring with like this ball on top of it, a sterling ball. And I was like, you know, your ring looks

like Planet Hollywood. You know that restaurant in Myrtle Beach that like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rambo started? I'd never been there, but she was really impressed. She like remembers that. You thought my ring looked like the restaurant planet Hollywood. What a redneck.

And then she talked about the scholarship competitions that she was in, which I just thought were beauty pageants. Scholarship competitions? Yeah, I think that's how they made you feel better about, you know, I don't know if there's a swimwear division, but she got a scholarship, okay? So whatever, we talked about that. She remembered that.

And that was it. Our next date was like a few weeks later, but it timed out with Valentine's Day. And because I didn't want to send this message that like, oh, this is getting serious, I made it a group date. But she did know it was a date, but I invited other friends to go. Who?

I think the people from our inner varsity Bible study. Not other couples. No, it was a couple other couples. I don't remember who it was. That's what she remembers though. That's weird. Yeah, the whole thing was weird and it was, so it was, you know, it all happened within the context

of this like, what's the right way to date that pleases God and that I don't fall back into like, very quickly moving into a physical relationship and stuff like that. That I was like, that we were both really thinking about. And I don't know if it was as calculated as we project back on ourself. You're a very calculated person,

but we were also in the midst of a culture that this is just the way that you did things. So you weren't an exception. Every guy who was taking this environment very seriously and was in leadership and was leading a Bible study or was leading worship or was emceeing, like we were very involved. Yeah. There was an expectation

that number one, you were only gonna date Christian girls and most likely you were only gonna date girls that were within the same ministry that you were in. You weren't, we weren't looking for Ivy girls or Navigators girls, we were looking for Campus Crusade girls because that was the ones that we were interacting with. And for the people who didn't and the guys who would like date somebody

and then date somebody else, it's like you just judged them. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. So it wasn't like, I'm not saying you weren't pious, we both were, but the way you're talking about it is I wanted to make sure that I did everything right and it's just like, well- We all did.

I've never been the kind of person that evaluated every decision that I make in the same way that you do, but I still was behaving in the same way because of the environment that we were in and the expectations. Yes, it was a double whammy for me, but yeah, the fact that you were going through the same thing.

If you were to go, oh, I'm just dating some girl from my psychology class, all of a sudden you would have 12 guys you had to answer to. Well, what do you mean you're dating a girl from your psychology class, all of a sudden you would have 12 guys you had to answer to. Well, what do you mean you're dating a girl from your psychology class? I think sometimes we fail to remember just how, I'm gonna use the term cult-like, I don't think the Campus Crusade is a cult,

but there are cult-like qualities to any sort of group that is centered around ideology and expectation like that. Because it's just like, oh, you're doing that? Well, are you doing it the way that we want you to do it? Are you doing, because we're holding you accountable the way you're doing it. Yeah, we were zealous. It was even a little bit, the fact that I was dating a girl

from Carolina, you know, but she was involved in Campus Crusade. Yep. I mean, there was questions about that. And this is what contributed to the fact that we never experienced dating because I had this serious girlfriend in my senior year and freshman year in college, and then we broke up,

and then sophomore year, I was like, I'm not dating anybody. I'm gonna figure out what I'm gonna, how I'm gonna move forward with a plan. And I like subscribing in this system. You know, there was this I Kiss Dating Goodbye thing that was that Joshua Harris book came out. I did not read it, but it pervaded our culture of,

well, dating is not just something you do for the fun of it. Dating is something you replace with a more rigorous assessment that then is all about like finding a partner, finding a life partner, getting married. But the thing that both of us did, and I'm sure many other guys did, being someone who also didn't read the book,

but knew the principles, what we ended up doing, our application of kissing, dating, goodbye, ended up putting us in this place where we were dating, but we were dating without communicating that we were dating. And we were dating in very purposely non-romantic ways. It was just so weird and misguided.

And I mean- You end up eating two dinners because you don't know what the hell he's talking about. And it wasn't, again, I don't wanna blame the, I mean, we were victims of the culture in a way, but it was also, we just didn't know what we were doing and we were misapplying even that principle. Cause the point of the I Kissed Dating Goodbye,

which I don't agree with and Joshua Harris obviously doesn't agree with it at this point, was that don't date but you do something that's more intentional and you court someone, right? And it's a much more intentional, calculated thing. I don't agree with that either. But the point I'm making is that it was so misguided that we just ended up saying, you wanna hang out?

Like I'm thinking that I like you and I'm thinking that I'm attracted to you and I'm thinking that I wanna look at your ass while you're bowling, but none of that's coming out in any of the actions that I'm taking. There was a point where you would, we made a big deal about the DTR. Defining the relationship.

Defining the relationship where you do communicate very, not explicitly, well, in explicit, not in explicit terms, but in no uncertain terms, that like, I'm interested in you, I want to date you, I want this to be our status, I want this to be exclusive. And then I would go on and say, I'm not gonna tell you that I love you unless I'm gonna marry you, so I'm never gonna say that

unless we're getting engaged and we're not gonna kiss and we're not gonna have a physical relationship. So you would define, all of a sudden it would go from this confusing thing to this ultra over defined thing. But the thing that we totally missed and what I'd like to focus on is just, we missed dating, the dating experience. And yeah, so our pendulum swung way over here

to be very safe. You can absolutely, and this was our idea that you wanna protect from the pendulum swinging the other direction where you date nonchalantly and willy nilly and you're just stepping on people's hearts and having your heart stepped on and maybe even worse, maybe you get an STD or an unplanned pregnancy. You know, it's like, so it's like if you're gonna err

on one side, let's err on the God side of safety. And so that was very appealing. But yeah, in retrospect, I feel like I missed out on this whole thing, which is part of why I'm putting this prompt out here, this like, tell me about your like crazy first dates, because like, all we have to go on are movies, you know, and the stories of others.

I just feel like that first date with Christy was really the only semi-adult, moving into adulthood, dating experience I ever had. Because high school, you know, that's different. You know, it's like you're in this self-contained, this closed ecosystem where everybody knows everybody, especially in our high school and in our county.

It was like, well, if you're interested in somebody, they're probably dating somebody else. So you gotta wait your turn and then you got a jockey for position. And then you can't just go from dating somebody to the next person to the next person because kind of like our crusade experience, it was like everybody would judge you as like,

you're just trying to date everybody. And even then there wasn't a lot of like first dates. It was like, oh, the football game's on Friday night. I'm gonna sit with you at the Pizza Hut afterwards. Right. Because we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. You were kids and then you start to pretend to be adults in college and you can go out on a date

and you can, you know. Yeah, so the thing we never had, which most of the stories we're gonna get into, they seem to be like, okay, I'm either in college or I'm a single young adult, and I'm actually dating somebody, meeting somebody for the first time for a date, whether it's online dating or whatever,

like that we missed that whole boat because the relationships that we were in when we graduated college were with Jessie and Christy who we are still dating. We are now married to for over 20 years. Yeah, so we just didn't have these experiences. Tonight is my date night. It's gonna be a double date, but with some friends from out of town.

Other friends, Ivy friends? Other friends, yeah. Old work buddy who came into town every canadian dairy farm is unique that's why every farmer takes charge of their own unique environmental farm plan also drawing from 57 environmental practices my plan includes biodiversity and part of mine is powered by renewable energy. Why care so much? Because Canadian dairy farmers hold themselves to higher standards.

That's what's behind the blue cow logo. Dairy Farmers of Canada. Let's read these. Go for Rachel. Rachel Simone. First date to a comedy club. We were two of six people in the audience. Ooh, that's awkward.

One of the comedians, out of jokes, asked me where I was from, and when I said Russia, he said, I knew it, you have a potato face. Okay. My date, become boyfriend, called me potato face for two years after that. I thought that would be an Irish thing. Okay, yeah, not a, I- I was a Russian in potato face for two years after that. I thought that would be an Irish thing. Okay, yeah, not a-

I was a Russian and potato face. I don't understand what that means. I'm not gonna try to explain that because I don't, well, I don't know. Well, this is just this comedians. It doesn't make any sense. I don't think this is like a known thing that Russian people have potato faces.

I think this is just a bad comedians, you know, joke. She seemed to take the joke well though. If her boyfriend, if she endured her boyfriend calling her that, I don't think it was that mean-spirited. It was like a good-hearted ribbing. Well, what do you, you know, what? But it puts him in a weird position. One of the things, one of the ways I'm evaluating

these things is imagining if I were to be in the position to date at this point in my life, would going to a comedy club, would this be on the top 10 things that I might choose to do on a first date? I would, unless it was somebody who was like, if it's a hot ticket, yes. But just, I'd be terrified of this because yeah, I mean, I've actually only been to a comedy club.

I think maybe twice. I've been to a handful of times. I went to Charlie Goodnight's back in Raleigh. I never did that at all. I went one time with my dad. Like there was this comedian who would come on John Boy and Billy. I can't even remember who it was, the morning show.

And of course me and my dad were both fans of them. Eventually got to go on the show and I took my dad because he was such a big fan. But we went to, was it the Laugh Factory out here? Went to Laugh Factory there but when we were there, me and my dad went, we were both fans of this guy, kinda. That was fun. I'd love to, going with my dad is a good idea.

Out here at the Laugh Factory, we went way too early, wasn't anybody there and it was fun. I'd love to go, going with my dad is a good idea. Out here at the Laugh Factory, we went way too early, wasn't anybody there and it was awkward. I think that this is, you know, again. And I was scared that I was gonna get called out or like I'm afraid of the magician's gonna call on me. Well, and that happened. Just like a comedian. That happened at Laugh Factory.

I mean, when you're a tall guy and you're sitting on like the second row, you're gonna get called out. I don't remember what he said, but I don't think this is a bad idea. And I actually think that going to a comedy club with six people, this kind of thing, and I know this isn't the point of the story,

but it's a good idea. It's definitely an experience. Putting people into a situation that is awkward and seeing if you can still have a good time and how they react. Okay. You know what I'm saying? That's true.

I'm not saying you wanna purposely put people in awkward situations on a first date. You impersonating the cop is a version of this. Because think about it. But you were doing it at Jessie, at least this is, we're in this together, can we survive this? But here's the thing, if she had been,

I could tell that Jessie was into the fact that I was doing it, that I was making the choice, but she was kind of embarrassed because she didn't know how to react, but I thought that was cute. And I also thought she likes this. But if a girl had been like, what are you doing? Why are you doing this?

Then that's, yeah. You're being stupid. I'd be like, well, you don't want to be with me because I'm gonna be stupid a lot. I got these glasses, I got other things too. Yeah. Mostly just the glasses. If you're not into this, then this is not gonna work. Yeah. So I think this isn't,

wasn't a bad idea for a date, but- Absolutely, just yourself be, if weird as you, because it's gonna come back to bite you in the potato face. Right. But for him, if he didn't know he was stepping into that, it's like you can't take up with, hey, don't call her potato face.

You look like a mashed potato body. Which is probably what you might have done in that situation. Yeah, I'm gonna be the hero in this moment. So you're like a chump. They're making fun of your date and you just gotta sit there and laugh at her? I mean.

Yeah, I think that's what you have to do. I actually don't know how to respond in that point. Is there a silver bullet here? I don't think there's any reason that in the context of a comedy club, if a comedian calls you out, you should get mad at them. That's just a bad look. I just think you gotta show that you can take a joke.

Yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah, this was a test for her and he just needed to analyze it. Brittany Westendorp. Brittany. Met a guy on Match.com. This is something we have no experience with,

online dating. We decided to meet at a cute Irish pub. We sit down, order drinks, and start talking. Everything was good until not even 10 minutes into the date, his ex shows up and starts screaming at us. She knew we had met online somehow and was yelling, Match.com date, Match.com date! He quickly threw down money to cover drinks and tip

and we left. She followed me across the street to my car yelling about him. We finished the date at a different restaurant. Funny enough, the next man I met on Match is now my husband of six years and we've been together for over eight. Match.com date.

Match.com date. Wow, that's crazy. This is like one of those people on The Bachelor where, you know, one of the girls will find out that the other girl, it was like, and she goes up to the bachelor and she's like, do you know that Vanessa just got out of a relationship, like right before this started?

You know, like trying to, you know, having somebody's ex to deal with. Ew. Thankfully, this is not something I've ever personally dealt with. Not with an ex. Well, did you have an ex meet a current girlfriend? Surely.

I know that Jessie met my previous girlfriend at some point and they were both like so sweet that it was just totally fine and a little bit awkward. Christy met my ex and it was awkward but she went to school with Jessie. So they were acquaintances. Yeah, right, yeah. So it was like she was kind of in the,

she was still in the mix. Wasn't she involved in crew? Yeah. So it was like she was kind of in the, she was still in the mix. Wasn't she involved in crew? Yeah. At Carolina? Yeah. And then if we had like retreats where like we'd all come together, she would be there. She'd be there.

She'd be there. Yeah. I hadn't thought about this in a long time. And my ex-girlfriend from high school. I would talk to her like friendly, but like it was mostly, I think avoidance. But my ex-girlfriend from high school was also involved in crusade.

Do you remember that? No. Who? Initials, a JB. Oh yes. Oh yeah. Yes. But that was earlier, that was like your junior year. It wasn't your senior, there. Oh yeah. Yes. But that was earlier.

That was like your junior year. It wasn't your senior. There was more time, so it was like- But she was there the whole time. Oh wow. But she wasn't as involved, right? Well, she went to a different school that was a part of our group.

Okay. But no, but she was like, no, she was there. And my brother's ex-girlfriend was also at the same school that your wife was at. Got a little weird. Like there was like, I don't know, it's a small, I mean, it's just a small group of people and then we all got involved in Campus Crusade. Kinda makes me glad that I didn't date more people.

But you know, you talk about the analysis thing with the previous person. That's part of what I miss is that like, we always enjoyed meeting new people and then because we would both be meeting a lot of the same new people throughout our lives, we like developed this skill of assessing people. We will come back and talk about like,

did you notice that guy has this weird habit where he like, he grabs his right ear and he sucks on his teeth or, you know, and we would talk about people. Like we were just fascinated and we like to assess people. And first dates are kind of like that. There's this dance of, like you said, I'm just gonna be myself.

If Jessie reacted and like, oh, stop being stupid. You're making me feel weird. It's like, that's something you wanna learn. It's like, you're learning so much so quickly on first dates. It just seems like even if they don't go well, you could have this perspective that like, I would like to give to my kids.

It's like, you know what, just even if it's not going well, that can be fun because that's mission accomplished. Yeah. This is all part of it. It's a reconnaissance mission going both ways. Well, one of the first things that, one of the first dates after that Outback date that I took Jesse to Baja Burrito,

which I don't even know if it's still there. It is. Across the street from NC State's campus. Yeah. And it was a casual date. It was, we're gonna go to Baja Burrito. This is like before Chipotle and like Moe's existed. It was the only place that we knew of

that you'd get like a big burrito and it was crazy that it existed and we loved it. Yeah. And I didn't, I was first burrito of a habit there was in college. Yeah. And I didn't, I, his first burrito of a habit there was in college. Yeah. And so having a burrito, then just walking around campus.

And she specifically, I remember thinking, wow, she's really going after that burrito. Okay. And I say that because she then later told me, she was like, I made a conscious decision to show you- How I could deep throat a burrito? Exactly, you had on those Amber vision glasses. No, she was like, I like to eat and I like this burrito

and I'm going to eat this burrito aggressively to show you that this is who I am. And if you can't take me devouring this burrito voraciously in front of you. Something tells me that it was totally good with you. Yeah, but the thing is, is that, again, my impression as not one who dates now, but some people will go on a date

and will be like, I'm gonna barely eat because I don't wanna send the wrong thing. Or I'm gonna order, I'm just gonna get just a salad. Not because I've already eaten like Christy, but because, and so I really appreciated that about her at the time I was like, but it was notable. I was like, man, like she got like sour cream on her face right now and she's not even wiping it off.

That reminds me, and Christy remembers this too. She was like, do you remember when we went on our third date? Of course, the second date was the group date where we might have gone to Applebee's. It could have happened. That's kind of a lateral move from Chili's. It was Valentine's night. T That's kind of a lateral move from Chili's. It was Valentine's night.

TGI Fridays would be a step down. She was like, you took me on a group date. You were taking it real slow, nonchalant, but you know what, that was fine because I had already had a date Valentine's day for lunch. So she went out with another dude for lunch on Valentine's day. Who?

He brought her flowers. Was this another state guy? Yes. I never knew him. You brought her flowers. Brought her flowers. Or something you would have never done. I did bring her flowers.

Oh! It was a group date, but I did bring her flowers. So our second date. This is a second date and you brought flowers? Yeah, but it, how did this become part of the Link plan? This feels way too romantic. Well, it was Valentine's Day, you know.? Yeah, but it- How did this become part of the linked plan? This feels way too romantic. Well, it was Valentine's Day, you know. I had to acknowledge it.

Okay. Then third date, I explained this to her. I was like, third date, you get ribs. Because at this point, you gotta know if you can eat ribs in front of the other person. Oh, but you told her that? Yeah. And ordered ribs? Yeah. Did she get ribs too front of the other person. Oh, but you told her that? Yeah. And ordered ribs? Yeah. Did she get ribs too?

I don't know. I don't know if she got ribs. Yeah, but- But my point was- Being yourself. I'm getting ribs. Being yourself. And I'm gonna eat them in front of you. I mean, you know how it is with me. She was probably noticing my chewing.

She was like, can I get over this? Yeah, well, good that you did. From date one. In a restaurant that has sort of like a low hum of other people talking, you can't quite tell how crazy your chewing is. It has to be like a fine restaurant, dimly lit, quiet. But by the time you were willing to go to a place like that,

she was so locked in that it didn't matter, it was too late. This is one of the unintentional things of how your plan worked. Yeah. If you had to taken her to a fine establishment of the unintentional things of how your plan worked. Yeah. If you had to take her to a fine establishment on the second date, she'd be like, good Lord. It doesn't matter if it's pudding or ribs, it's so loud. I don't know how this happens.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. Ferdah tweeted at us.

So I matched with this girl on Tinder and basically we were planning to go to this fancy dinner, you know, and so I had to meet up with her and pick her up because she didn't have a vehicle at the time. And when I showed up to her house to knock on the door, this old guy who looked to be in his 50s burst out of the door in his underwear

and proceeded to try and beat me with a floppy coat hanger yelling random, uninterruptible phrases and I ran back to my car thinking I surely had the wrong house address but to my surprise, the girl came out chasing after him and had to bring him back inside and calm him down. And after that, when we went on the date, she tried to pretend it didn't happen,

which made it even more awkward than it already was. But yeah, now we're married with two kids. That is a crazy first date. See, that's the type of stories that I wish I had. You know, it's like getting beaten with a coat hanger. I'm not sure. I think uninterruptible may have been auto-corrected from unintelligible.

But you couldn't interrupt him. That makes sense. So I'm assuming now that Ferda is married to this woman that they now know what the situation was, but that particular situation was not revealed in this two-thread. Not pertinent to our discussion. So I have to assume that this man in his 50s

in his underwear proceeding to try to, I mean, if this is her father, do they have a relationship at this point? Is this the father? Berta, we need a follow up, okay? You gotta pull back the curtain. You gotta let us know what happened. You can change names if you need to.

She tried to pretend it didn't happen. Yeah, that's strange. I think the first thing I would say when I got in the car is let's talk about the man that just tried to kill you. He's like, absolutely. This feels like the first topic of conversation. That's the thing about dates I'm imagining is that you build it up so much

and like you want it to go well that it makes it worse. You know, if you're just like, what did Popeye say? "'I is who I is, I am who I am." That sounds nothing like Popeye. That was God. Popeye. Okay. That was God in the Old Testament.

Well, he does have big forearms. Right, yeah. You know what I'm saying though? When you get caught up in these, like really manicuring yourself for a first impression, obviously within reason, but like, you gotta put yourself out there and say, hey, if this doesn't work, that's still mission accomplished.

And I think that this is probably a much more common thing. I think that dating, ironically, dating is down in general, even though there's so much, with online dating, there's so many more ways to meet people and you don't have to like, oh, I'm gonna go start a conversation with somebody. It's, technology has provided all these ways for people to connect.

But I think, again, I'm just, this is like based on some things I've heard, I think dating in general is down. But my impression with online dating is that people, for the most part, a first sort of Tinder date or a Match.com date tends to be really low key. Like, hey, let's just meet for coffee. Yeah.

Because why are we gonna make the investment of time and money that's gonna go into this if we're gonna meet each other and- Keep it short. You're gonna know in the first 10 minutes- Leave them wanting more. If this should continue. Yeah.

Which I think makes sense. Yeah, it does. It can be a little cold hearted. And then you can schedule like 10 in a day that way. I mean, that's a lot of coffees. That's, but what if one really ends up working? And you want it to continue, you cancel the rest of them? Yeah.

And you tell them that too. I'm sure people have done that. They've got like a 7pm and a 9pm scheduled just in case the 7pm doesn't go well. And then if it does, they cancel the 9pm. I mean, I'm not saying I advise anyone to do that. Another thing we missed out on was like the whole, like, first, like, are you gonna have a goodnight kiss?

Like that's not, that was never part of our equation because like there was such an emphasis on like, well, the physical relationship is something you need to delay as long as possible. And there was lots of benefits to that. But I mean, it's a lot more exciting when it's like, okay, is there gonna be some sort of goodnight kiss? Is tweeted at us.

I went on a date with a guy who fell asleep at the table 15 minutes in. is, tweeted at us, I went on a date with a guy who fell asleep at the table 15 minutes in, then woke up, ordered himself dinner without asking me if I wanted anything, and then fell back asleep until he made me walk him home. Turns out he was tired from his date the previous night. Oh gosh.

Wow. I mean. This is hardcore. Yeah, I mean, being in a position where it's like, okay, you know what, I walked this guy home and I'm not gonna, next time I'm not gonna do that. I got other dates, I can apply what I learned on this date with this sleepy boy. Well, maybe he was just being himself though.

I mean, I don't wanna send mixed messages here. Well, yeah, good for him for being himself. What if Jesse eating a burrito just voraciously is this guy's falling asleep. He's like, I'm tired, I'm gonna fall asleep. Good for him. 40 years from now if we're still together and I wanna sleep at dinner.

But you, okay, but if you're not into that, if you think that that's not classy, No, I think this is inconsiderate. Then I think you need to be able to say something. It's like, you know what, next time something is like, seems like I'm being, like taking advantage of is not the right, if I'm being mistreated here,

even on like a microaggression level of they're just falling asleep in my face. Somebody calls you potato face? Or calls me potato, if your date calls you potato face. Being ready to say, hey, you know, I'm not really feeling this. Well, Link, you don't have to say any, in this situation, there's a clear, there's a clear path.

Yeah. If somebody falls asleep on a date, you walk away. That was it. You leave, they wake up and you're gone. I mean, this is- Ghost them. This is simple. It is not big. Yes, you're right.

Thank you for submitting your story. And you know what you did? You were the bigger person, you walked the guy home. But clearly the correct thing to do in this, if somebody falls asleep on a date- Slip out. At first- And don't pay the bill either. If If somebody falls asleep on a date with you. Slip out. And don't pay the bill either.

If my wife falls asleep on a date, which has probably happened, I'm not walking away. We're in a relationship at this point, I'm committed. But first date, they fall asleep, you're gone. Now, if you're in a bad part of town and you drove them there, don't abandon them. But that doesn't seem to be the case. I mean, she walked him home,

he could have walked home anyway, right? I would say this is, in the days of Uber, just leave. That's these days. Yeah. Jay Bird, you wanna read this one? The date started with skating and after. Chrissy and I met at a skating social. So sexy.

We decided to wander around downtown and chat. Now again, I love this kind of date because movie's not a great first date because you're just sitting there looking at a screen, but just a nice casual walk around, get to know, this is good. It takes the pressure off to not have to stare at each other the whole time.

And you also learn things about a person. For instance, continuing on with Jay Bird's story. That's when they decided to tell me a story about how their uncle stole their dad's identity and how their dad was arrested the night before his wedding. Wow. We've been dating over a year now. Now, if I had this kind of story about my uncle and my dad,

it would be one of the first things I pull out. Yeah. You know, you gotta have- This is good. You gotta have the memorable, interesting stuff. In fact, I would assume that you kind of get into, you know how if you're like explaining yourself in an interview and you've got to go to like 10 interviews, by the like fifth, sixth interview.

Talking about a job interview? A job interview. Okay. You're saying the same thing about yourself. You've kind of honed in your presentation. I have to think that there's an equivalency here when it comes to dating. You get a rhythm to it. It's just like, okay,

here's what I do with match.com dates. I meet at a coffee shop and I ask the following three questions. Depending on the answers, I share the following two stories. Just because it's just, right? I mean, isn't this the way that things- That sounds kind of boring.

I know, but I'm just saying, this is just how humans work. You at least have a system to fall back on. You know if I was like a prolific dater, I'd have a system. Right. This would totally be me. Yeah. And I think that it's warranted to some degree, you know?

Yeah. And this guy was like, you know, I'm gonna tell the story about my uncle and my dad. No, that's cool. But it's not about him though. It could be seen as deflecting a little bit. Let me tell you about my family. Takes the focus off of him for a moment.

But you know what, it worked. They've been dating for over a year. Here's one. Paige tweeted at us. And I don't know how much you thought about this before you did it, but you did it, so we're gonna read it. I met up with this guy who was absolutely smitten with me a few years back.

He picked me up for dinner in this new dress I bought and he even bought a new tie. It was all very cute. Very formal. Dude wearing a tie. Anyways, we had dinner and it was going super well. When we got back to my apartment, things started to get hot and heavy.

Oh, we were still fully clothed. And suddenly right after he pulled my dress straps off and down partly, okay, details. He hesitated and loudly stammered, I need to go change. I looked down and there was a huge wet spot forming. For reference, I was 22 and he was 26. I was in so much shock that I just let him leave to change.

He had an extra pair of pants handy. Okay, he was prepared for this. Makes you wonder if that happens a lot to him. After nothing else happened and he never spoke to me again. I hope he was able to get the stain out of his khakis. You know what? Paige, thanks for sharing. It happens to the best of us.

Oh yeah? Would you like to share? I had a, hmm. Oh, okay. Seems like the answer's yes. A hush falls over the crowd. Okay, this is not quite the same situation, and wow, I never thought I would share this,

but this is what Ear Biscuits is all about. I've never had a situation where it was just like things were moving in that direction and then the gun went off by accident, as is the case in this situation. There's a Lonely Island song about this. What is it? Jizz in my Vans.

Yeah, right. It's a great song. Oh man. But there was a dry humping, there was a dry humping excursion in sweats. Oh, yeah. That ended in this. This is different, but yeah, of course,

the jean jamming, I've talked about this too. Oh, so you, yeah. You jizz in your pants while dry humping? Yeah. Okay, so I got you to exhibit, but that's different than what happened here. And this guy apparently knew there was a possibility because he has an extra pair of pants.

Good for him. Give, always be prepared. He's a good boy scout. I mean, first of all, I don't know what. I don't think it's, of course it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing, but. But it's, but doesn't Paige see it as a compliment? I'm sure Paige took it as a compliment.

Yes. Because it's just like, man, he was so into you that just the thought of being into you. I think it was more than just the thought. There was more going on than just thoughts. Well, what was going on? Well, they were fully clothed but things were starting to get hot and heavy.

Yeah, but it just felt like straps were being pulled down. It was like things were getting ready get hot and heavy. Yeah, but like it just felt like straps were being pulled down. It was like things were getting ready to happen. Well. I don't think there was friction. I think this is fully- Oh, not- I think this is not friction, but fiction in his mind.

Well, I mean, they're making out. There's mouth friction. Yeah, but not friction on the actual- Yes, yes, you're right. That's the point I'm trying to make. Point made. And so, yeah. But hey, you're right. That's the point I'm trying to make. Point made. And so yeah. But hey, you know what?

It happens to the best of us because we consider ourselves the best. Well, so I do think- And that's not what happened to us. But I'm interested to think, to know, do women take this as a compliment? And then I do, you know, there are some things that, yeah, this isn't something that you want to be happening

on a regular basis and this could- They should take it as a compliment. They should take it as a compliment, but it also is a sign that like, okay, well, if we actually begin making love, then this is not gonna be a very long experience. Well, second time around it might be. It might be.

Yeah, you can't draw a long-term conclusion from a short-term explosion. Don't get into your own head about this. So no, it is not an indication of a lack of prowess or stamina, it's just, it could be an isolated incident. But that's how he interpreted it because he never spoke to her again. And that, yeah, that's sad.

And I don't know if Paige would've talked to him again. For vulnerability, which is great for building a relationship. If this happened to me, I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you what I would do. Okay, I'd go to the bathroom, I'd change, I'd put on my Amber Vision glasses. Come back out and say.

I come back out and say, excuse me ma'am, there's been an accident. No one is, everyone's okay. You're being arrested for being too hot. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. You gotta have the glasses, you gotta be ready. Hell yeah, you gotta have the glasses.

You gotta be ready for these things. Or you could have a puppet. A guy who, Excuse me ma'am. A guy who jizzes in his pants and then comes out Or you could have a puppet. A guy who- Excuse me, man. A guy who jizzes in his pants and then comes out of the bathroom with a puppet. Okay, just like the guy who falls asleep, run. Leave at that point. Oh my goodness.

Edgar Alley Poe. If you wanna stop listening to this podcast, that was the climax. Okay, no offense to Edgar Alley Poe, but here we go. Went bowling, hey, great first date. Was fine until he started pouting because I beat him. Okay. A grown ass 24 year old pouting

because I beat him in bowling. Later at dinner, he ate a barbecue burger with blue cheese. He asked if I wanted a bite. Okay, he's nice. I declined because I don't care for barbecue sauce with blue cheese. He asked if I wanted a bite. Okay, he's nice. I declined because I don't care for barbecue sauce or blue cheese. Wow. He tipped less than 10% because they were busy

and service was a little slow. I left a better tip. Oh. He walked me to my car and sneak attacked me with a kiss. A blue cheese kiss. All I could taste was blue cheese and barbecue sauce. I threw up on his shoes. I don't even feel bad about it.

We never went on another date. Wow, okay. Yeah, I think if you're knowing that this date is not for you, well, it was a sneak attack kiss, so I can't hold that against you. I mean, just maybe don't vomit on the guy's shoes. I mean, he's still a person.

I recently heard- Not a person that you want to date anymore. The thing that I'm going to focus on here is the tipping because I'm a competitive person and I'm not saying I would pout if I got beaten bowling, but if you're going to bowl with me on a first date, I am trying to beat you. Just I can't help it, I'm a competitive person.

I'm going to be having fun. I may bring my glasses, but I'm gonna try to beat you. I like blue cheese. If she beats you, you're gonna have a hard time with that. Uh, I think, no, I think I would respect a big damn girl and go bowl, but Jessie bowled a 36 the first time we ever bowled together and I actually ended up making a,

there was a bowling party, Barbie or something like that. It wasn't Barbie, there was a bowling party Barbie or something like that. It wasn't Barbie, it was a different brand. I ended up taking the bowling party Barbie and changing it to bowling party Jessie and putting all these quotes about Jessie and it says, she can bowl a 36 and gave it to her as a gift. Oh.

In that case. You gloated. Yeah, she loved it. She's not competitive, she wasn't trying to beat me. But the tipping thing, I recently heard somebody say, and this is a very rough paraphrase, do not trust a person who treats underpaid service workers poorly for no reason at all.

Right? treats underpaid service workers poorly for no reason at all, right? So people, and it was in the context of a waiter, translation, if someone is for no reason at all, just kind of an asshole to a waiter, they're not a good person. Like I'm not saying I necessarily agree with that, but I'm saying that was the point. I disagree with that strongly. That was the point that somebody was making.

I think that you kind of have to have, you have to have special knowledge to then come to that conclusion. And a lot of people don't have that. They're just ignorant to the fact that like, if you've never waited tables and you've, just because you haven't thought about that particular type of job doesn't make you

someone who doesn't have empathy. It doesn't mean that you're a horrible person. I'm getting defensive now because I'm sure I've historically under tipped because I have a fixation with finances. It's about me, it's not about them. But also I do reserve the right now to my tip reflects the quality of service, but I do reserve the right now to, my tip reflects the quality of service,

but I do tip generously. Well, but there was a time in my past when I wasn't thoughtful about it and it doesn't make me automatically a horrible person that you shouldn't go out on a second date with, but it might warrant a gentle conversation. Okay, but you're talking about two different things. You're talking about two different things. You're talking about two different things.

First of all, I have a different philosophy of tipping and my wife is like, I mean, I'm a generous tipper, it's 20% at least and so if you're a bad waiter, you get 20% and if you're good, it goes up from there. That's my, you know, I don't- I don't punish people. I'm a wealthy person, so this is not a sacrifice for me to do that.

Right. So, you know, but, and when I was not a wealthy person, I was 18% and then up from there. But that's what's being talked about here. The thing I'm talking about is, you know the people who are just kinda just short with a waiter right from the beginning, like get frustrated

and are kinda just an asshole to a waiter before they've even really done anything? If the tipping is part of a bigger package, then yes, this absolutely can be an indicator. Because that's the thing that I'm talking about. And I just thought it was, I think it was a tweet. I don't know who tweeted it, but I was like, that's an interesting thing because I've always been like,

man, yeah, like I don't understand it when people, and I've been in groups of people before, and I haven't seen you be an asshole to a waiter before, but I've been in groups of people where I was like, ah, this person is being really short with this person and treating them like a servant. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

That is just there to please them. And I'm just like, I get bad vibes and I just have to believe that translates into other things. Yeah, throw up on their shoes. But liking blue cheese, that's an attribute. That means you're probably a person of good character. Okay, Neppy Nut, we are gonna read your tweet.

I had an impromptu date with someone I met at a meetup group. During the course of the date, he did the following. Told me he was missing a testicle due to an accident. Okay, it happens. Yeah. Apparently, didn't have a phone, wallet, or car. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. When offered to drive him home, he tells me he lives an hour and a half away. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's, when I offered to drive him home, he tells me he lives an hour and a half away. Okay. He asked to use my phone to call his mom to get a ride, leaves a voicemail for his mom and talked in a baby voice for the whole thing. Yeah, it's like, I mean,

probably the testicle's not his fault, but like there's a preponderance of evidence here. Leaving that one on the tape, off the tape. Yeah, right, right, right. Didn't even have the right number for his mom and got a call back from someone who was pissed that they were calling. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, don't call me and leave a baby voice message. I ended up leaving him at an IHOP, but I also made out with him a little since I felt like an asshole leaving him. What? Give him a little nookie for the road. That's not nookie. That's not.

What's nookie? Intercourse. I mean, but a little nookie can be a kiss. It's just a little intercourse, no. Okay, well, I guess we have different definitions. He didn't give him nookie, that's good. I didn't hear from him for two weeks until he emailed me and asked if we could do it all again.

So I really enjoyed the date. To me, the evidence points towards this guy was making a YouTube prank video. I was like, okay, well, what kind of things could I say? I'm gonna start with, I've got one testimony. Yeah, you gotta take that into account now. You know. Are you being YouTube pranked?

It's just like, how far can I push this? Is this gonna be a TikTok rant later? How far can I push this and still make out with a girl? Yeah. It sounds like a really bad, poorly advised. If it's not going well, don't make out with somebody out of guilt. Let's not do that.

Yeah, I agree with that. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. Yeah, you can't hold the one testicle against the guy. Accidents happen. Let him do that. Yeah, and- You gotta protect it.

But based on all the other actions that he's taken, it may have been a bonehead move that ended up resulting in losing a testicle, we don't know. Wow, I mean, maybe we circumvented a world of hurt by not having more first dates. And I'm certainly grateful with how it ended up. Yeah, still got both our testicles. No, neither one of them, I mean, they work,

but just not in the same fashion as they did. Right. You know, back in the same fashion as they did. Right. You know, back in the day. Instead of giving a rec this week to shut things down, I wanted to acknowledge that many of you responded to my request to share pictures that you recreated with large spans of time in between them, just like Rhett and Jesse and Locke did

when they went to San Francisco. Carol, thanks for your Golden Gate Bridge. Carol has a Golden Gate Bridge one. A lot of San Francisco sites. Elizabeth recreated photos that their mom took on a slide. Look at that. It looks like either that's a new slide

or the slide was painted, but you know what? I'm into it. I think this is- Good form. Yeah, this is good. Like keeping the arms in the right place. You get the facial expressions the same way. That's what you gotta do. That's a real good one.

Harrison said, a handful of years ago, my sister and I recreated a bunch of childhood photos for a Christmas gift for my mother. That's a real good one. Harrison said, a handful of years ago, my sister and I recreated a bunch of childhood photos for a Christmas gift for my mother. That's a great idea. Here's one of the better ones. It's like covered a younger brother in stickers and did it again as an adult. And also in capture the same sort of faded

film process quality. Yeah, really nailed it. Mythical Noodle Rat recreated a trio photo here. Not as much time had passed there, but I'll still accept it. 11 years have passed. Well, you haven't aged a bit. Yeah, you guys haven't changed in 11 years. Caroline said there's 25 years

between these two sibling photos. I love how they're like, especially the dude in the back is really trying to, he's like seething with anger inside for being in this photo as a kid. But no, they got the same, both brothers got the same expressions down pretty solid. And then finally, Lisa.

Let's think of how I would say that. So these are lots of- Washington, DC. Some photos my husband and I recreated from my childhood trip to DC, 1995 to 2014. Okay, that's good. I like it. If you're watching the audio version of this,

you're not seeing as much. But you can click on over to the video. It's a fun exercise. Yeah. And just to wrap up our fears with like blowing up our own origin story, Kirstie tweeted at us, "'Today's Ear Biscuits' was yet another example

of us as mythical beasts being given a glimpse behind the curtain. Did some of the revelations come as a surprise? Yes. But the fact that Rhett and Link are comfortable and secure enough in themselves and their body of work to explode their origin story is, in a strange way reassuring.

It highlights the fact that regardless of how their friendship came into being, it is unbreakable. The initial spark is undoubtedly important, but it takes far more than a spark to keep a fire burning brightly. I'm glad that you see it that way. The fire of our friendship. I was a little nervous after we finished recording that

and then seeing a couple of tweets early the day it was released under the hashtag your biscuits and people were like shocked. But then I started realizing that people were kind of, they were shocked but they didn't feel deceived and they weren't mad. I didn't see anybody who was like legitimately upset about it, they were like, yeah, we get it.

Yeah, but thank you for articulating that. It's still just an Ear Biscuit-tier thing. You know the truth. Yeah, it'll never get out to anyone else. So hashtag Ear Biscuits. Let's keep the conversation going. We appreciate your responses. Let us know what your take on first dates are.

Same time. Including ours. Same time, same place next week. Okay.