Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett Sends His Son to College | Ear Biscuits Ep. 347

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

The day has come - Rhett’s oldest son has gone off to college. In this episode, Rhett breaks down every detail of this momentous occasion and shares how he’s been coping. Fortunately, Link has some experience. Don’t forget! Good Mythical Evening is this Thursday, September 1st. Get your tickets at GoodMythicalEvening.com for an uncensored night of fun! Presented by Moment House. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. With Uber Reserve, you can book your Uber ride in advance. 90 days in advance. Perfect for all you forward thinkers and planning gurus. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. Uber Reserve. See Uber app for details. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett.

And I'm Link. This week at the Roundtable of Dim Lighting, I'm going to get your update on sending your oldest child off to college. I'm so proud of you, Rhett. You're following in my footsteps. You're being a parent who gets, who succeeds. You got a living, thriving child out of your house by following my simple program. What is the program?

My simple one step program. Pick a college or let your child pick a college and then pay for it and take them there. Is that the program? Just, I thought you could tell me. Well, no, actually I do have something, I'm not gonna share it now. I really built that up as I would have a joke,

but I didn't have one. Yeah, I was like, where's this joke going? That was walking out on the plank and then just jumping into the sea. I had a couple of options in my mind, but they were all so self-deprecating that they might have seemed real. Oh, well you should do that more.

It's like none of these are actual jokes. But I have a non-joke thing that I will share later about having talked about you sending Lily off a year ago, actually did impact an aspect of that contributed to, not the process of sending them off, but the past year, which I'll talk about. Oh, I thought it was in the process because I have one very specific question.

If you did this, it's something that I did, but I'm gonna wait and see if you share it. Did I take a walk in Ugly Cry at night? Is that the specific question? Nope, that's not it, it's different than that. Did I see a woman that was in a bush? What was it that you saw? Peeing?

No, but I did have something very exciting happen to me last night that I have to share just because it's so timely. Okay. I was bitten by a spider. Oh really? A lot of times you don't know when that happens until later. Like what's this on my arm?

And then the doctor's like, you got bit by a spider. And apparently the ones that, well I don't wanna spoil it. So Shepherd and I were in the pool. Which this is weird, right? This is very strange. And the lights in the pool were off. Well it's your pool. The fact that we were in our pool

is not the strange part. The lights were off in the pool. And all of a sudden, I felt a pain in my right titty. Oh wow, right there on your pec? Right at the part of me that was exposed to the surface. Above your swimming tank top? Yeah, right above that. And I was like, oh crap, immediately reached down,

hit something, and actually grabbed something and felt something large in my hand. And I was like, oh crap, what is it? And then I threw it down, and I was like, Shepard, turn the lights on the pool! Very, I was panicking. I'm glad I was not being filmed. Oh my God.

And then all of a sudden we look, he turns the lights on and it's a spider and this spider is swimming in the pool. Which that, first of all, is unusual. Are we talking backstroke or was it flailing? It wasn't supposed to be in the pool. Like it wasn't like, oh I'm here and I'm happy. You might have brought it in.

But it was like, Off your like unkempt beard. It was big enough to be like, still, you know, you throw like a little spider into the water and it just kind of just like immediately dies and I was like, this thing is like surviving. It bit me and now it's swimming? What is going on? Of course, if you want to get bitten by...

Was it black? Was it... Well, it was very hard to tell because the lights were on in the pool and it was nighttime so it just... I couldn't tell. And so Shepard immediately is like, Dad, you need to go to the emergency room. I'm like, Shepherd, I appreciate your concern, but we live in the age of the internet, and we are going to determine, I mean, this is the beautiful thing about being alive today. Could probably take a picture of the spider

and then it would tell you what type it is. Yeah, you go to spider.net, you should just take it and put it in there. Well I think step one would have been to net out the spider in case you needed to keep it for reference. Well that's what Shepherd said, we need to take the spider and you to the emergency room. Good, someone's the father.

And I was like, well hold on, that might be the case. And so, then it died. As we began to talk about it and direct our attention toward it, he was like, I'm outtie. See that's a bad sign. He died. As we began to talk about it and direct our attention toward it, he was like, I'm outie. See, that's a bad sign. He died. That means it gave you so much of itself. Like, it gave you everything it had.

I think it was just, I wasn't supposed to be in the pool. I'm gonna take a little revenge because I know this is not gonna end well and then now I'm gonna die. And at that point, I was shining. Last night, I'm shining. You're looking a little pale. My light on top of, I'm gonna die. And at that point, I was shining. Last night, I'm shining my light on top of, I'm shining my light as the spider floats in the pool.

And we're looking at it and trying to figure out what it is and Shepherd's like, dad, that's a brown recluse. Or he was like, it's a brown widow, which I think he meant to say brown recluse. Which is like the most poisonous spider that you can have in California. He's like, dad, how do you feel?

He's like, we need to go to the emergency room right now. Yeah, because it bit you on the, I mean, it didn't bite you over the heart, it bit you over the what, liver? The lung? Do you think the liver's up, the liver's down here, brother. Oh, the liver's tall, man.

It goes a lot higher than you think. Yeah, but it's more down here. It's behind the lung, I think, on your right side a little bit. And so, I wasn't panicking because I was like, I don't think a brown recluse and a black widow and all the spiders that are poisonous in California, they're so shy, they're not swimming,

they're not doing the breaststroke in your pool and seeking you out to bite you. I'm like, this is gonna be one of those spiders that is not even a web spider, like a hairy spider, like a wolf spider maybe, something like that. And they're not a problem, right? So I'm not really panicking, but Shepard is really trying to get me to panic. Are you looking at the bite spot? He's like, is it swelling? I'm like, dude, I don't even know where it hurt

pretty bad as it happened, but I can't find a spot or anything. He's like, is it swelling? I'm like, dude, I don't even know where, it hurt pretty bad as it happened, but I can't find a spot or anything. But he's like, Dad, it doesn't matter if you can't find a spot, because the worst ones, you don't even feel them, and then they get big, and then, I'm like, everything's gonna be okay. You gotta cut it out.

You've gotta cut out all the wounded flesh. Yeah, now here's the thing. It's just me and Shepard at home, because Locke's obviously at college. Jessie's still there with him, she flies back today. So I think he was also thinking that like, I'm a 13 year old, the only adult is here and he might be about to die from a spider bite,

I've gotta start moving and shaking, putting together plans. Yeah. But I'm gaining confidence that this is, first of all, it not, I know it wasn't a black widow, and I was like, it doesn't look like a brown recluse Yeah. But I'm gaining confidence that this is, first of all, I know it wasn't a black widow, and I was like, it doesn't look like a brown recluse from what I remember, but let's, actually again, Shepard was like, let's get the net and take him and put him on the thing. So we did that, and then I'm like,

spiders in Southern California. And then like, Google automatically gives you like 20 entries, right? Mm-hmm. And then like Google automatically gives you like 20 entries, right? Mm-hmm. And then we start looking through them and I'm like, okay, it's not a brown recluse, it's not any of the things I should be scared of, I think. And meanwhile, Shepherd's like,

Dad, are you feeling okay? I'm like, yes, son, I'm feeling great! I'm gonna shoot a web right in your face. And then I get to wolf, and I know I say that wrong. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. wolf. you know, more stout spiders that like thicker legs, it makes sense that they could like swim around in the pool for a while. And it was like you have nothing to be frightened of. So some people might be allergic to the venom of a wolf spider, but apparently I'm not.

I can't even see where it bit me. It hurt pretty bad. It was like known to have a painful bite. I was like, yes sir, it does. Like a bee sting? Bee stings hurt and then immediately hurt more. This hurt and didn't hurt again at all. Huh.

So I don't, there is venom, but I just don't think he did much to me. Okay. So you were able to give Shepherd peace of mind so he could sleep last night? He was still looking at me as I was walking up the stairs to make sure I didn't collapse. Do you wanna put a baby monitor in there?

But I was just so, you know, I was grateful because what would I have done in 1982? You'd have just waited it out and nothing would have happened. Well, did people, I think people knew more back then because they didn't have the internet. They didn't have this knowledge base that they could just consult.

So I think there was like some dad somewhere in the neighborhood who was like. You don't have to know things because you can know it immediately when you need it. Like what would happen is you would know somebody like Mike McCarg, right? Yeah. And you would call him on the landline.

Hopefully he would answer. Hopefully like his, you know, kids wouldn't be on the phone talking to their boyfriends or something and you get a busy signal. I'm just trying to do an 82 here. He answers and I'm like, Mike, I just got bit by a spider and I can't send you a picture because that's not how it works. I'm going to describe it to you.

It's light brown but it has stripes like a watermelon on its big fat part. Ooh, it had a big fat part. It got me with that. I don't know, what part does a, they bite you with their fangs, right? They don't sting. Yeah, yeah, they're not, yeah, I believe so.

And he would say, oh, it's probably a wolf spider or it could be a gray house garden spider or something. He'd have something. You'd be like, you got nothing to worry about unless you're allergic to the venom. You gotta just have a friend. In 82, you had to have a friend that was like the internet. Or the library.

Now you just don't even have to have friends. That's the beautiful thing about 2022. There also weren't urgent cares. You had to actually go to an ER. Yeah, it wasn't that middle ground of like, you know, I don't wanna call this an emergency. Sometimes calling it an emergency makes it an emergency. I'm just gonna say I need urgent care, you know?

It took way too long to figure that out. Right, so I mean thanks for asking, I'm fine. But a little peaky. You know what the thing is? I got bit by a spider, I don't think it's ever happened. Oh it's happened. I mean I know I've eaten like eight spiders a year or whatever in a year according to that

but I don't think I've ever been bitten by a spider and so. And known it. You know what? Scratch that off the list. But that's not what we're talking about. Poor guy sacrificed himself. Oh.

Jenna says spiders sting. Technically called a sting. It's called a sting? Yeah, because it's not like the. It's not the clamping of the teeth that hurts? Yeah, yeah. It's the injection of the venom? Yeah, it's considered similar to a wasp sting as well.

But there's no stinger, it's with the mouth. It is with the mouth, but it's still technically called a sting. Yeah, it's a sting from the mouth. Well I think we might need to contact the biologists about this, Let's call it a bite. I think we should. I guess a bite.

If you're using your mouth, it's a bite, bro. No, I guess a bite has to be the top and bottom mandible. Oh, that's a good, that's it. If they're taking, it's like, like if I took my top teeth and dropped them into your shoulder, it would be stinging. Doesn't necessarily bite. A vampire might sting. If I took my top teeth and dropped them into your shoulder, it would be stinging. Like a vampire doesn't necessarily bite.

A vampire might sting. A vampire stings. Cause they're just using the fangs. Unless they use their bottom teeth too. What about a snake? A snake's just using the top fangs. They're stinging too. Yeah, what's going on here?

Come on. We need the internet. What's going on here? Come on. We need the internet. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today.

Terms and conditions apply. So where does this journey begin? Well, I feel like I need to make a note about, okay so, this required flying, which that was, this is the first time I've been in close proximity to anyone who went to college that they couldn't drive to college. Yeah. Like we drove to college, my brother drove to college, your kid was driven to college, my nieces and nephews, they're in the same state or like one state over. And so I was like, this is interesting.

We have to take everything that he needs on a plane or buy it and have it shipped there. Yeah, because for me with Lily, it's like, it was all five of us in a car, but then we had a carrier on top and then we had everything like jam packed in. It was one of those things where it's like, all right, you need to get in your seat

so that then I can put another piece of luggage. Oh, you just wait. And then that's gonna have to be unpacked before you can get out. I can't imagine, I mean there's no way to take that amount of stuff if you're flying. Well we didn't. We had stuff shipped there and we also arrived.

You like packed some boxes that you shipped? No no no no. Jessie, which we will get into this detail, but she was most invested and, you know, she was the one that was working with Locke to make the decisions about the design of his. The design. Oh yeah, she interior designed his,

I almost called it hotel room, which is kind of what it feels like, but it's smaller than that. How many roommates? Just one roommate. I'm getting ahead of myself because I wanted to talk about, so the school is in the state of Florida. That's why we had to fly and not drive.

Your favorite state. And let me just make a couple observations about the people of Florida. Now I know that we talk quite a bit. That's never been done before. I know that we talk quite a bit about mythical beasts recognizing us in the wild. I'm sorry if you're tired of it,

but I'm gonna do it again because every time we go out, there's a different aspect that I'm introduced to now that we're kinda like traveling again. And this, there's two things about the people of Florida, specifically, and I'm not even gonna call them mythical beasts because that's one of the points, is that I was never, I've never been so consistently

recognized by people who actually don't know who I am. Right, they don't say, big fan, hey Rhett. Yeah. They might say, it might be Good Mythical Morning if they can remember the name of the show, but mostly it's like, oh what is the thing, you guys, you taste the stuff? Yeah. So it's what I would call the casual fan.

It's the people clicking on the food videos. It's the reason that the food videos get the views is because the casual fan is like, oh those two idiots are tasting something again, I'm gonna click on it. I don't really know, I can't really remember who they are, but they're on YouTube. I like other things on YouTube. I don't really know, I can't really remember who they are, but they're on YouTube. I like other things on YouTube a lot more than you. Yeah, very much the case.

And so these are a couple of quotes that were said to me. One was, are you still friends with the guy with glasses? That was one of the first things. Are you still friends with a guy with glasses? That could be a very dedicated mythical beast because if you get way too dedicated, then that's the question you start asking. Like, why are they mad at each other?

Well, and I responded with, and Jesse pointed out later, but this sounded a little cold. I was like, yeah, we're still working together. Still working together. What I meant was, yeah, we're still making our show that you know us from. Yeah.

And Jessie was like, you made it sound like you weren't friends. I was like, well, they don't even know who I am. They're not gonna go be able to find us to spread a rumor anyway. Well, we're still working together. The other one was, where's your buddy? It wasn't where's Link, which I get all like, where's your buddy?

Where's your buddy? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know right now, not here. Yeah, you did not enlist my services to, I mean, to help you move. I guess I would have done it, but thank you for not asking. One thing this has made me think of though.

Can you fly with me so that you can take an extra carry-on bag for my son? That's how I would have been approaching the booth. Thankfully we didn't need that. One of the things that I am thinking about though is that I would like to get you on the fine, I need your location shared with me. Because I get asked so often where you're at

and I just wanna be able to pull up a phone and be like, well there he is right there. So many people ask where you're at when they see me that I would like to know exactly your coordinates and then I will screenshot it and send it to these people. Okay, okay. So they'll know. Okay.

Because they are very curious. You want me to share my location with you so that you can share it with randoms. Willy nilly with strangers. Yes. Okay. You know what? You good? Let's actually pause the recording so I can do that now.

I don't wanna delay a second. Here's the second Florida thing that I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but, and I'm not saying this didn't happen once, this didn't happen twice, this didn't happen three times, this happened four times over the course of three days. Okay. four times over the course of three days. Okay.

People very obviously just turning on their video camera and filming, including. From a distance? No, a guy on an elevator. Oh, that's not at a distance. No, and like this. He did this and what I'm doing is I'm taking my phone, I'm placing it against the spider bite, the spider sting,

and pointing it like this. Are you serious? That's so obvious. Like, he can't look at your phone. I looked right at it. I didn't say anything because I was like, if I'm wrong, I'm going to say something like such an asshole. Why didn't he put it up to his skin? Why didn't he act like he was typing? I didn't say anything, because I was like, if I'm wrong, I'm gonna send some like such an asshole. Why didn't he put it up to his skin?

Why didn't he act like he was like typing? I don't know, man. That's what the other three people did. So he just, four people just. The people of Florida, they simultaneously have no idea who I am, but also want to track your every move, and they wanna film my every action.

What is happening down there? They need video to figure out who you are later. It's like yeah, yeah, I'm gonna put his face into Google so I can figure out who this guy is. Anyway, that was just. You didn't say anything to him? No, and Jessie was like, you should have said something. I was like, well I look.

I see you filming. Hey, dude's phone on his chest. So if any random elevator footage shows up of me on the internet, just looking at the camera awkwardly, you know where it was, from Florida. That is a weird feeling, man. I mean, I've never had a point blank. Yeah, I've never spent enough time in Florida.

You're sending your freaking child there. It's too late now. We've already paid the first semester tuition. Can't get him out now. Was there a factor like it was for Lily, which turned out to be a total non-factor of him concerned about his association with you, you being recognized?

No, interestingly, so, you know, when Locke first went to public school from going from homeschool to school, which he did in the eighth grade, which is kind of, you're, I mean, Lily did in ninth grade. They both did this kind of late, late transition. Yeah. Locke was super sensitive about people knowing

that he was my son and he was very much about establishing himself to a weird degree, right? And he actually told me, he was like, okay, so another thing about the people of Florida, and this is typical of any place outside of Los Angeles, is if you do get recognized, the enthusiasm, like I had a couple people like. Very high.

Like we were in a Dick's Sporting Goods getting some stuff for Locke and it was like a group of teen boys very loudly congregated and it was like, again, I don't really mind but I don't like it when I'm with my family because this is Locke's time, we're moving him into college. And then Jessie was like, you gotta get a hat,

you have to wear a hat when you're moving him in tomorrow, and sunglasses, which is what you did. And then Locke was like, Dad, listen, I totally don't mind, I really don't mind, I'm not gonna be weird about it, and listen, if somebody's a fan, that's a benefit for me. Okay.

You know, if we meet somebody who's a fan, I mean, not, you know, I wanna know if somebody's a fan because either I'm gonna be like, are you friends with me because you're a fan, Okay. or if somebody who works at the university is a fan, which, you know, he's like, okay listen, I'm not gonna do the thing I did in eighth grade,

I'm gonna, I'm embracing it, so you don't have to wear a hat, whatever. So I was like, okay. But, I'm gonna talk about the, I'm gonna talk about the moving in process a little bit and then I'm gonna kinda, I'll come back and talk about the emotional aspect of this and the process. All right, let's start with the logistics. So interesting that you mentioned packing the car

because what we had to do, we had rented a car obviously and we had rented the biggest SUV that they had but when we got to the rental car place, they did not have that and they said, we will give you a minivan and free gas. Okay. And that was pretty much the only option I was presented with so I was like okay.

And I was just reminded, you know, you drove a minivan for many years. It's probably more capacity than an SUV. I'm just telling you man, what an invention. What an invention. And it pains me that I've got too much pride. It's like a tall top station wagon. I've got too much pride to drive one on a regular basis.

And at this point, I don't need one. I've only got one kid at home now. I don't need one. There was a moment in my life when I could have used one, but I just couldn't do it. And Jessie was even more so than me. She would not do the minivan. She would not embrace the minivan mom life.

She just was like, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna let that grip get hold of me. But we should have. It was a fabulous era of time that has passed. You know, ironically, I think that Locke and Lily, they're both candidates for a minivan. Like, I think that could draw some trouble, but I mean, you remember Greg had a minivan in college?

The thing was. Having a minivan in college? That thing was. Having a minivan in college is cool. That was an ironic, totally functional party choice. But they just, you know, low to the ground, drives like a car, capacity of a truck. You can walk right into it. It's like a walk-in shower. And just all the, you got USB-C,

you got USB whatever the other one is. You got, I mean, you can plug anything in. I'm just very impressed with minivans. Yeah. You can be an adult sitting in the middle seat back there and it's like you're at a Star Trek console. You're sitting upright. You feel very, very advanced. You're sitting upright. You're ready for anything.

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Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Now, we got a bunch of stuff, and by the time we had packed the car to its fullness,

it was Tetris. In fact, Jessie took a picture, I'll get her to, we're gonna show it right now, because she took a picture when I had created the first, like the base layer of the Tetris in the back of the van, she was like, send that to Link. I would have loved it. Because I was like, layer of the Tetris in the back of the van, she was like, send that to Link. I would've loved it.

Because I was like, most of the times in my life when I'm packing things that are like, you gotta get a bunch of stuff, I'm with you and you are so committed to it that I just like, I just hand you things and you just do it. And then, but this was a moment where I was like, there can be no wasted space here. So I'm like, saying things like, turn that 90 degrees.

I'm actually just standing there and Locke is doing the stuff and I'm saying what to do. Oh wow, that's the life. And then, oh and he's like, Dad this is crazy. Like, and I was like, hey I guess I could have done this all along. I should, I mean every once in a while I gotta do Tetris. No Rhett, again, you learn from the best.

I've never watched you. You've watched me. No no, I just hand you the packages and move away. You felt it. I've never ever actually watched you closely. Yes you have, man. That's how you know. But we packed the whole, you know,

obviously you've got the first row and the second row and then third row is folded down and then everything, ceiling to floor all the way back based on stuff we had brought plus stuff we had bought was all the way full to the point where when you closed it like you were like catching stuff to make sure it doesn't fall off. Yeah, good work.

Now, the process of moving in to college where Locke's going and I don't know if this was the case where Lily went but it also is the fact that his dorm room that he is in, he's on the 12th floor. Good gosh. Of a very large building. Okay. And what they do is you check in

and then you get these little tags and then you get into a line and you have a specified window of time. So it was like. Everybody's not moving at once. You have to be there at 5 p.m. 5 p.m. was our window. And you drive under this set of awnings that they've set up

because it's Florida and it might rain. And you park and you open your thing and then all these people. Oh wow. Not you, a bunch of people in certain shirts take all your stuff and put it in these giant bins and then you just drive and park. And then they take it, they go in, they use the elevators exclusively so no parents or kids are using the elevators. Get your stuff in your room so when you get to your room, it's either

they're in there or they're bringing all the bins in there so you don't have to lift anything heavy. What? Did you have to walk room, it's either they're in there or they're bringing all the bins in there, so you don't have to lift anything heavy. Did you have to walk up 12 flights of stairs? And they make everybody walk, so we had to walk up 12 flights of stairs. Oh, seriously? Yeah, but we didn't have anything. You know, we had given it to everyone.

Okay. That's the system. Well, how many flights are there? How much higher could you go? There's just another couple of floors, 14 or 15 or something like that. Oh man. Didn't get the penthouse. That's a long ways.

I mean, I guess that's a decent trade for not having to shuttle anything up. Yeah, but it was, I was very, of course I'm just thinking, I'm totally dadding out about this because I'm like how long have they had this system in place? Did they start, like how many years have they done this system, it's quite an efficient system.

I'm very impressed. But this was the moment as we were pulling up in the line when I began to really feel the difference that Jessie and I bring to this particular event. Now I don't know if you remember what it was like for us to move into college, but as I was trying to remember and tell Locke and Jessie and Shepard,

I was like, I don't think my parents went up to NC State with us. No, no, no. I'm almost positive I don't think my parents went up to NC State with us. No, no, no. I'm almost positive they didn't. It was, my papa took his truck. We put everything in the back of his truck.

I knew you would remember this. And yeah, so he drove so he could drive his truck back home. And so he's the one who helped move Zed. And he didn't like- And there were no stairs. And he didn't have any opinions about, like- No. The whole point of us going into our dorm room

was to get us and our stuff into the room and then it's up to you guys to make it look the way you want to, organize your stuff, hang stuff up. Of course, generational differences, first of all, but also just family dynamics. My parents were like super loving and supportive, but they weren't involved in those kinds of details. But back in the day, when Jessie was going off to college,

her mom was totally involved in making her dorm room look like a section of wet seal. You remember that store? You know what I mean? Clothes hanging everywhere? No. Like faux leather pants and big fluffy shirts? I just mean like intention, well that was what Jessie was wearing at the time.

But yeah, they put up purple wallpaper on one whole wall inside the dorm room. Yeah, that's not allowed. They got away with it because their room had not been painted along with other rooms or something. Point being. Did Locke just know I'm gonna let her do her thing? Well, in fact, I was just looking at Jessie's Instagram post

about him kind of going to college and she was saying that he's been super sweet and actually, you know, he was like, yeah, I want my mom, my mom is good at this. If she's gonna do the work and she's gonna be invested in this, but also, Jessie gave Locke the quiz that she gives to prospective design clients to find out what your style is so she could get,

because this is his style, right? I didn't even know that this was happening until I look at my wife's Instagram. But it helps explain why we had so much shit in that van. Yeah. But, and I'm sitting there... I wonder what his roommate thought of all this. Oh, they thought it was great. His roommate thought it was great.

That's what he told you. No, and also, you know, first of all, this isn't something exclusive to Jesse. You could kind of see parents are just way more involved in kids' lives than they were when we were coming up about stuff like this. And, like, the mom and dad are in there putting stuff on the wall. They're like, you know, so this is not just something that's happening, but it's on one end of the spectrum when it comes to Jesse.

And I'm on the other end of the spectrum, because I'm like, he's got like, you're like thinking about the colors of things, like just put him in the room, and hug him and say bye. Right, yeah. But the way that this translates into your minivan is it's full of stuff, and so as we're pulling up to this thing, I'm thinking like, oh man,

I'm looking at the other families. There's a family in like a hatchback and like the family gets out of the hatchback and then just opens the hatchback and that's all the stuff this girl has. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh there's a family with a pick. She has to build a new life on her own.

There's a family with a pickup truck and the bed of the truck, it's an extend cab so the bed of the truck's not too long and the stuff's not like even popping up over the end of the truck, it's an extend cab so the bed of the truck's not too long and the stuff's not even popping up over the end of the thing but we have Tetraced an entire minivan and when we open the door, things are gonna fall out. I'm beginning to feel shame. Yeah.

And then I'm thinking, well how many boxes are they gonna give us? Like how many of these big ass crates are we gonna fill up? And who's gonna be watching? I know this is all irrational. And you wish you had a disguise again. I'm like, oh yeah. And I'd already been recognized by a few of the other,

as we keep snaking through this thing, we've got our windows rolled down and there's families. Rhett, good morning! Stuff like that. Where's your buddy? And so we get there and we open it up and it was almost like the guys with the big bins had been prepped to not let you feel shame.

Okay. Because we opened the thing and then Jesse was like, my husband feels, she said it, my husband feels shame about how much stuff we had. And he was like, Oh no, we've seen more than this. And then he was like, How many carts? What's the most number of carts that we filled up today? As they were filling up the fourth cart. He said, I think it's like five or six.

And then another guy who was being honest said four. So I was like, Okay, so we're tied for the record. Four of these big ass bands. But you know, just kind of going through that relieved a little tension. But getting up to the room and then beginning the process of, you know, she wanted to do a headboard. You know, she wanted to do a headboard.

A headboard that you stick to the wall. I love the fact that none of this is about Locke at all. Oh yeah, okay. We'll get to that. A sticky headboard. A what? You know, I mean, a headboard. Isn't it a bunk bed? No, it's not.

The beds are on the ground on each side of the thing. Okay. And there's no option for making them into bunk beds. Okay. In this particular room. It'd be helpful if there were because it would be bigger. Because it's small. Smaller than our dorm room.

What? But I did tell Locke it was the, I was like, hey, it's the same size as the one I was in my freshman year. But just the headboard, I'm gonna point out the headboard because it's kind of indicative of the difference in approach, right? First of all, Locke is totally like,

he wants it, he's empowered Jesse. Didn't it have a headboard? No, it's just a bed. With a mattress. With a No, it's just a bed. With a mattress. It's just a stand for a mattress. It's a frame, basically. And so, but then there's a wall that is up against that. This is a common thing.

You can put the headboard up on the wall. You can mount it on the wall above a bed. And this is made for a twin bed, which is what you get in a dorm room. But there's a weird thing with like the way that there's a board and then, you know, it's got these sticky things on it because it's gonna, you can't put any holes in the wall,

you know, so you have to do it with these sticky things but they weren't lined up right. I spent a lot of time on this headboard and then eventually had to abandon the headboard because it just wouldn't work. And when I get into my emotional processing, I'll come back to the headboard. But I think that, first of all,

I witnessed so many families impatiently being short with each other or outright yelling at each other as we would go around to the different stores. Tensions are high. Like we went to the Target and everyone's buying stuff. And we didn't even go to the closest Target. We went to the second closest Target.

And still, they had all descended upon it. Yeah. And just people just mad at each other. This family's falling apart at this integral time. And I was like, we're just another one of these families that's mad at each other. You know, and it wasn't, we weren't really being mean to each other, but I was definitely frustrated

because I was like, I'm trying to deal with this emotionally and trying to figure out what is it that I'm feeling, which is always a difficult thing for me. And we're trying to make his room feel this way and it doesn't feel like a priority to me. And this dad is yelling at his son because the son just said something mean to the mom. You know, and I just kept witnessing these situations.

But it also made me feel good because I was like, Makes it easier to part ways. We're just another family. We're just another family. We're just another family that's dealing with this momentous thing. Yeah, at least you're not in Florida. Oh, sorry. So to talk a little bit about the processing of this.

From Locke's perspective, he has been so, he's been simultaneously like super excited about school, but also increasingly anxious about like, oh, I'm not gonna be at home anymore. And I'm also not gonna be in the same city or the same state. Or the same time zone or coast. And beginning to, that's beginning to sink in with him.

So a lot of his conversation was around just like, and of course, Locke says exactly what he's thinking, exactly what he's feeling, which is a huge difference between me at his age. Yeah. You know, and him. So we are constantly discussing and talking about things and so he's, there's some anxiety around

just the transition for him. I mean he handled it really, really well and he's doing great. I've talked to him a couple of times since I've gotten back and he's really adjusting, meeting people and like beginning to like embrace the like, I am on my own, but also not really, you know,

they're not really on their own. They can FaceTime with us at any moment. And obviously if there's something that they need, it can be arranged, you know. Yeah. It's not as on their own as they will feel in four years. Right. is on their own as they will feel in four years, right?

But one of the things I've been thinking about, first of all, there's a lot of stuff going on right now in life, right? There's just a, there's a number of things, I'm not gonna go into detail and nothing in particular is standing out, but just, this is a really busy time of year. There's just, there's things that are stressful and anxiety inducing and then there's this thing

that's happening where your son is going off to college and much like you kind of communicated last time, you want it to, you're trying to make it into something and you're trying to, as dads tend to do this too, make it meaningful and you wanna say the right thing at the right time, but you also wanna like feel, and this isn't something that I would've done 10, 15 years ago, but like I wanna make sure

that I'm feeling this in the way that I should feel it and processing it in the way that I should process it, which is more of like a result of therapy and also understanding that like, oh, you can have feelings and you can process those feelings. Right. Which I've gotten much better at. But I've also been anticipating the really intense emotional reaction,

the walking through the neighborhood crying situation that happened with you. Yeah. And what I realized, well first of all, that hasn't happened yet. But what has happened is a series of like 10, over the past couple of months, like 10 moments of emotion that will be some degree

of crying. It might just be like welling up a little bit, it might be weeping a little bit. Okay. The way I describe it is, you know when you've shaken up a soda and you're in the bottle and you're like, if I open this all at once it's gonna go crazy, but if I just go

open it a little bit at a time, by the time I fully open it, it'll be just like, oh, it's gonna go crazy, but if I just go, open it a little bit at a time, by the time I fully open it, it'll be just like, oh, it's just a soda. And I think that that might be what's happening because I've had a couple of moments of really sort of emotional processing. The first was putting together his slideshow for his graduation thing that you came to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And looking at all these photos and like organizing them and like picking his favorite songs and putting in, like that was, there was an intense moment I'm like sitting in bed like editing and I like was crying. Right, so that was the beginning of processing it. The second thing is I wrote them, I wrote him and Shepard a song.

Right. Which was, you know, it was obviously, it was part of the process of like thinking about your parenting changing and as you deconstruct, but I was really thinking about Locke, especially leaving, like here he goes, he's going off, it's like you've done what you can do, he's gonna be dealing with that for the rest of his life,

whatever you did. And then playing him the song. So like, you know, I waited until, that was the last song that I played, I played it for him and Shepard. And we were like driving. You played the track, you didn't play a guitar. Oh I could have never played it for him,

I would be a mess, I wouldn't be able to make it through it. So yes, I played the track. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And to make it through it. So yes, I played the track. Locke was driving his car, me and him and Shepard went out to eat or whatever and we played the song and it was like, you know, crying. I was like, my tears welling up and Locke as well. I didn't really look back at Shepherd. I think it was emotional for all three of us.

Sure, yeah. But there was like this emotional moment and then we like spent some time talking after that. And then there's been, and this is what, you know, tying it back into your story about Lily last year. I think I actually remember saying my application is like I wanna make this year count with Locke, right? Because Locke is, he's super independent,

he's always gone, he's always hanging out with his friends. This summer he's traveled with his friends, he's been gone, so it's not like every night you walk in there's Locke, it's like, no, Locke's probably not gonna be there. So he's sort of already kind of established his independence and his not being at home, but I was like, I wanna make the most of the time we have, and so that was my kind of goal.

And then we had those two road trips. Right, yeah. We had the road trip over Christmas, we had the road trip over spring break, which those were awesome, and that was actually, as we finished in Florida, that was one of the reasons he chose the school that he chose. And then we've just had more just hanging out

as friends time where it's not, this is a dad and this is a son and the dad is saying things to the son to try to like correct him or guide him and the son is challenging. Like that's been a lot of our relationship because he's a challenger. But this past year has been more of a friendship. And there's been a lot of our relationship because he's a challenger, but this past year has been more of a friendship.

And there's been a couple of times where we just hung out and just talked. And I have to hold myself back a little bit from going into dad mode and advice mode. Right. Here's a principle that you should take with you. And just be like, how do you, let's just connect. And so there's been more of that.

So more so than ever, right, this past year. And then when we were in Florida, we moved him in basically and then we hung out, or no this was the night before we moved him in. And me and him just went out and just walked around town for a while and just spent a bunch of time talking and I mean about everything, including how he was feeling and everything.

And then in addition to that, there's just been multiple times where I just kinda like, I'll see something, I'll look at his room or whatever, and there'll be just a moment of emotion where tears will start and I'll kinda let it happen but again it doesn't turn into an avalanche or a waterfall. Yeah it's just these moments of like, I'm living this milestone moment.

Yeah. And if it's just an, it's not just about acknowledging emotions but acknowledging the experience. Emotions are a part of it but it's not just about acknowledging emotions, but acknowledging the experience. Emotions are a part of it, but it's not about like, and it's about fully processing things, and they're a component of it, but it's not like, well, when am I gonna break down? Well, but I just anticipated that happening.

Because I acknowledge that's what I made it out to be, a lot, like I made it out to be a lot. Like I, you know, I like forced it. And then now I have this, I have a mitigated perspective on it, you know. Cause you keep seeing Lily. Yeah. She keeps coming home. She keeps coming home. I keep seeing her.

And I knew that would be, now that's gonna be less the case for Locke cause he's gonna be further away. Right. But we're gonna, you know, I think we'll be more connected via phone than we ever are when we are, when he's in town. Because I don't, I don't.

Because it's the only way to do it. Yeah. Yeah, but like in that moment, in those couple of days, yes, just having those times when it's an acknowledgement of you're living this trope, you're living this milestone moment that you'll never have it again. Even if he goes somewhere else

and when Shepherd goes somewhere and same with my kids, like the first gig going off to college and everything associated with it is special. But the logistics of it do get in the way sometimes. Oh, I've got a brave target. We're upset with each other. Well, I have a very specific thing that happened at the moment of truth.

What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? moment of truth. presents the anime effect it's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore so join us every friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on crunchy roll or on the crunchy roll youtube channel you know my adult life especially the past you know 10 years in california and and the past five years in therapy, you know the McLaughlins. We don't make a big deal out of anything. When people make a big deal about something, we're like, has this person got a weakness?

What is it about this person that they're making a big deal about this? Because we don't make a big deal about anything. Does this person have a weakness? You know. And like, you know, I was asking Shepard. We all do. Shepard last night, I was like, you know what I mean,

because me and Shepard are just hanging out together as we wait for Jessie to get back. She's still trying to get that headboard up. Yeah, probably, I don't know where, hopefully she takes a picture of it. I'm asking him how he's processing it and he was like, do you remember when Cole went off to college? And I was like, huh, no.

But I was like, but I would not be surprised if we did not hug, just to be completely honest with you. Now, I would say that for a couple reasons. Number one, he was just going to Chapel Hill, and so he was gonna be like 45 minutes away. And so it was like, oh, you're just gonna be, you're gonna be up the road, but it just wasn't, my family didn't make moments of things.

Jessie's family makes moments of things. I remember like the first birthday celebration I went to for somebody, I can't remember, I was like, whoa, you guys. Somebody was having a moment. I'm like, you guys make a moment of everything. My family, we're just kinda like, we're not Jehovah's Witnesses,

I mean, we don't not believe in birthdays. But, you know, it was just like. Or blood transfusions. You're gonna get your fried chicken and your cake, and again, I don't wanna miscommunicate, it's not that there wasn't a love there, it's just it wasn't sentimental outwardly, and it was kinda like,

I mean I'm not saying I know we didn't hug, but I'm just saying I wouldn't be surprised, I know that there wasn't some moment where it was like, let's hug and let's say things to each other, and the way that like, Lock and Shepard, in fact I started filming them in the room as they like hugged each other and the way that Locke and Shepard, in fact I started filming them in the room as they hugged each other and stuff and then Locke said something offensive to Shepard

in order to like, Break the tension. Because he was like, Dad it was stupid that you were filming it so I was just trying to Make it unusable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he just said something mean to Shepard, but it was obviously unjust.

But my adult life has been figuring out, well, that isn't who I am. That's the way that we did things, but that's not A, that's not the person I married. I married somebody on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of making things into a moment and expressing themselves. And then I have been processed,

I've been learning what it is to, like, it's okay, it isn't that I don't have feelings, I actually have a whole lot, but they come out sideways because they don't process in a healthy way all the time. They do more and more. But anyway, that was an interesting thing to hear Shepard talk about, ask me that question. I was like, man, I don't know,

we just didn't do things in this way. But I'm a different person now, right? And so I am thinking about this moment and the way that it worked was- Meaning the goodbye. The goodbye. The send off. So we're in his room,

and this is day two, day one was moving all the stuff up and beginning to put it in, but because we moved in at 5 p.m., and then he had an event he had to go to that night, Jessie and I kind of stayed in his room until like 9, 9.30, and then we left, and then we were like, we're gonna come back tomorrow, there's a few things that we need to get,

and then I'll just leave from here to go to the airport. And so we're in his room, and it took us a while to get a couple of things, so we had like one hour in his room, and I had to get the damn headboard up, still dealing with the damn headboard. It's like, this is headboard take two, like, have a new idea for what I'm gonna do. And it may involve violating school policy

and putting a nail in the wall. It didn't, because it didn't work. But at some point, I'm looking at the clock and I'm like okay, I have 12 minutes, because I've timed this of course, to be able to get to the airport on time. I have 12 minutes left in the room based on the time it will take to get back to the car.

Still have not figured the headboard out. So I was like, I can't do this headboard. I think it's a bad idea. I'm gonna take it down and y'all can figure it out tomorrow because Jessie was gonna be back. The headboard had been a point of contention or it was representative of multiple points of contention about the way that Jessie and I were relating

in this situation, and also there's a lot of emotion, and there's like, I'm trying to deal with this, what am I thinking, what am I feeling about Locke leaving? And I set the headboard down, and then I'm like, okay, I gotta go. I mean, I gotta go, meaning I gotta go, and I want us to be able to say goodbye, right? Yeah.

And so, that moment Locke's like, oh man, this is it. And so, this is it. So he does this thing with Shepard and then me and him hug and I say, I don't know what I said, we said some things. And I'm like tearing up. And Jessie's like, Jessie, in that moment,

Jessie's like, okay, I'm gonna get this trash, or she says something logistical in that moment. Yeah, because she's staying. Because she's staying. Oh. And I was like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm leaving. Yeah.

I'm like, me and Shepard are not coming back. Yeah. And so. Didn't you hear Locke say, this is it? And so I'm not trying to throw Jessie under the bus. You know, or the headboard, or anything. But she was coming back and it did not, it had not quite, and she's processing this on her own,

right, it had not hit her, because she's trying to get all this stuff done in his room, it had not hit her in the moment, oh yeah, this is their moment, this is the last moment that they have together, not ever, but you know, as he's leaving, and so we're kind of mad at each other, but that like immediately impacted the nature of the process.

But, and then of course she was like, she's like I'm sorry, I'm coming back, I'm just thinking about the fact that we're going downstairs and we've got all this stuff we need to take. I was like, trust me, I'm the one that would usually do that exactly what you did. I'm just surprised that you did it. But like Locke and I, he went out into the hall with us

and I hugged him like three or four times. There was not like one moment, it was just like, I guess I'll just hug you again. But it wasn't, it was just like, I guess I'll just hug you again. But it wasn't, it was sort of perfectly encapsulated just how this isn't some, you can't script this thing out in a way that like make it perfect and make it exactly the memorable thing where you're gonna say exactly the right thing

at the right time. He's gonna remember this forever. And he's probably gonna remember that in this moment, I snapped at Jessie because she was trying to take some trash down the stairs. But in a sense, it's like. No, he won't remember anything. That's my parents.

Maybe. I don't think he'll remember that. So, and then of course, I ended up talking to him like three, four more times before. Did you turn around and take a picture of him walking back in? That was the thing I was gonna ask about. No, I took a picture of all four of us

right before he walked out. Okay. I took a selfie of all four of us. That's good, that counts. And Locke has a look on his face, well, I'll show that picture, but Locke has a look on his face like, this is it, Locke has a look on his face, I'll show that picture, but Locke has a look on his face like, this is it, that's the look on his face.

But he was feeling it for sure. We ended up talking three or four times before I even got on the plane because I'm trying to logistically figure things out. But the thing I was thinking about, and I have been thinking about, is just the, it's this aspect of,

oh man, I've done all I can do. And I've kind of been at this place for a while. You know, I've just kind of observed the way children are and known that it's much more about what you do than what you say. They're taking a lot more cues from the way you act and the things you do than the things you tell them. They're usually just kind of zoning out when you tell them things.

But that doesn't stop you from wanting to say exactly the right thing. If there are three pieces of wisdom that he could take with him into this freshman year, what would they be? I wanna make sure that I say those things. It's like, it doesn't stop you from doing that. But I think there's just this sense of,

all right, yes, he still, I still am the one that's gonna be putting money into his prepaid credit card thing or whatever that, you know. Yeah. There's still a connection, there's still a big connection. I'm still the one paying for this thing. And he is a phone call away, but there is this sense. And he's communicative.

That's the other thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I think that, you know, like, he'll talk to people on the phone, right? He's not averse to like FaceTime and stuff like that. Didn't you tell me that he talks to, he'll talk to people. He, Locke calls my dad, his father-in-law.

His father-in-law? I mean, my father-in-law, Jesse's dad, my brother, Jesse's brother-in-law. He's good with the phone. And he's just like, I'm just gonna call an older person and just talk to them. And he's done that for years. So yeah, he instigates a lot of things.

That bodes well. Yeah, I'm not worried about it. And he makes friends really easily. You're not gonna bother him by calling him. No. You know? No, I mean, there's still, yeah. That'll make a huge difference.

There's still very much a connection. Like having already built those type of habits, yeah, I think that, I mean from my experience, that goes a long way. It's like, you know, if I get a text from Lily about nothing, it's just like, oh, that feels great. You know, it's not just me initiating everything. But there's, I mean's one specific thing that felt,

you kind of feel the powerlessness. And I think this is due mostly just to the fact that your kid's gonna be out of your supervision and off in college, but also the person that Locke is, you know, his room was always a mess back at home. You have to tell him to clean stuff up. He's just, he's like me, you know, when I was at the time. Jesse's the same way, like we're not,

our house is remarkably organized for what the nature of our personalities is. But that, cause that's not the tendency. And things like, Locke, I'm telling you this thing about where I'm putting this. And kind of looking in your eyes and seeing that this is not sinking in. Like, you're going to have a room that you're sharing

with this other guy. And you gotta keep it clean and like I'm giving you your passport. You are gonna be responsible for your passport. You know what I'm saying like the sense of like trepidation that I hand this document off to him and like where is this going to end up? No one will know.

You know? Including him, definitely. And it's just sensibly, and I know Lily's different. Lily's more, she's more buttoned up than Locke when it comes to those things. So you probably didn't have this like, is she going to be able to manage the space that she's living in?

No, she's probably gonna like manage it for other people too. But Locke. All five of them, as a matter of fact, in her room. Locke is different than this. And so, you know, I'm like, but then there's this sense of like, you know, I didn't know about any of this stuff. I was not organized at all.

You figure it out. You probably make mistakes. Well, you had me, Rhett. You had me, man. And I also lost my passport at one point. I don't recall carrying too much. I was excited to decorate the room with the occasional poster.

We didn't have enough stuff to make a mess. You know what I'm saying? I didn't have enough things to really make a mess. I was definitely one that initiated, all right we're spending the next three hours cleaning this place. Yeah and also I don't remember ever changing my sheets. Yeah, that's a scary thought, but.

Did you change your sheets? Well, you just feel like it's not needed. Yeah, I wasn't a clean freak in that way. But Jessie was like, okay, I'm giving you two sets of sheets, one that will be on the bed. I brought my laundry home, I must have brought my sheets home too. The other one, while you two sets of sheets. One that will be on the bed and then- I brought my laundry home, I must have brought my sheets home too. The other one while you're washing your sheets,

which you should do at least once a month is what she said, you know? Yeah. Preferably every two weeks. And then I'm thinking, he's not gonna do that at all. He's not gonna do that. He's not gonna wash his sheets. And it'll be fine.

It'll be fine. Some sort of colony will grow in there. You'll probably get some sort of good probiotics that go straight through his feet, skin. I don't know how it works. But there's that sense of helplessness of like, ah, he's just, mm. He's just gonna figure it out.

I can't hold this for him anymore. And you know what, he'll be just fine. Well I hope so. I think he will, again, I'm. The communication part is so huge, like he's not dropping off the edge of a planet and trying to escape you. I mean he was confident enough to go clear

across the country, you know what, to his own credit and to you and Jesse's credit too. You know, it's like he was ready to make that leap. You know he's ready. So it's just a question of, you know, that's the big thing for me is just knowing that he's going to tell you what's happening. You know, he's very upfront. Yeah.

And he's also communicative and that will, that's so much more important than everything else. You know, I think, and I'm speaking from experience here, you know, everything that I made a huge deal about, I'm glad I did, but like people told me, you know, like, you know, I'd gotten the advice, oh, I spent the whole next day after my first daughter left for college crying, and then I just kinda,

that was kind of it, I was kind of over it. I was like, well, okay, that's helpful to hear. It was kinda true, you know, even though I pushed it so hard, like, I wanna fully experience this. Yeah and then it's like, you know I think about with Lincoln, yesterday just started his senior year of high school, so like we'll be having this conversation, but the conversation that we have about Lincoln

will be totally different than the conversation that I had about Lily, and also different than the conversation you had about Locke. Like that second, that middle child syndrome, like I, again I feel for him. You won't even know if he's in college. I might not even be there. I was like, is he here?

I'll definitely be there but yeah, it's a totally, it's just a different thing but you've gone through it. You've checked this box and that for you, just to talk about you for a second, that's, you know, it's a privilege that you got to experience it under these circumstances, that you have this intact and rewarding relationship with Locke that can be the,

it set the groundwork for this experience for you as a dad. I think that you'll never have again, you won't have it with Shepherd. That is the most important thing. You know, we talked about this before, that the goal, especially as you get into the teenage years and kids tend to get cynical, they get harder to communicate with,

they get more private, and they may even get mean. I think that happens with a lot of teen kids. They just kinda get mean to their parents. And let me just say, we've been through those phases. It's not like it's been all smooth sailing. I mean, he is a teenager, he's been through these phases of a teenager and oh, he's really connecting with this parent and not liking this parent

and going back and forth. You cleared a number of hurdles at such a point that yeah, by the time you're sending them off to college, it's not part of it. Well, ultimately what I'm saying though is at some point along the way, we received a very good advice that we have been preaching to one another, me and Jesse,

of maintain the relationship. Like above all else, if the first priority needs to be maintaining the relationship, like above all else. If the first priority needs to be maintaining the relationship, not getting him to think a certain way, not getting him to do a certain thing. I've tried those things. Obviously there's principles and boundaries within which you're accomplishing that

that's not coddling, spoiling, and just giving in to everything. Oh, of course. There's a difference between like disagreeing and destroying a relationship, you know, and sometimes it gets precarious, and I know you're not saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying that like,

you don't worship him. No, of course not. There are these moments in which I can choose to say something or do something or implement something that will be long-term damaging to the relationship. Yeah, and this is not some easy thing to navigate because you're right, this doesn't mean you don't have standards, you don't have expectations,

you don't have house rules or whatever and you don't give advice, we do all that stuff. But not at the expense of the relationship. And I'm not 100% sure that we would have gotten there. This was something that our therapist started telling us and I'm sure we would have gotten in or realized it in a different way, but when we began to have some difficulties

as Locke kinda got into his teenage years, and that was the mantra, it was like, maintain the relationship. I'm so thankful that that became the mantra because this past year has been the sort of the best stage in our relationship, which is exactly what you want right before you send him off.

Mm-hmm. And like, you know. Not counting the headboard thing, but yeah. Yeah, and one of the things that he has said that he said more and more over the past year and it has increased in frequency is just, he'll just, he would say things like, I'm gonna miss you guys.

Or, you know, I'm really, the things that you wanna hear as a parent, like he's like, you know, we haven't always agreed on everything. And I haven't always agreed with the things that you've done but I know the motivation has always been love. Okay. I know the motivation has always been love. Okay, yeah, take the story out. I'm like that is what you wanna hear as a parent.

So, you know, and I think I've always thought maybe when he's in his 30s and he's got kids, he'll come back and he'll say, the motivation was always love. You know, to hear it like, but to hear it now is like, wow. So, yeah. Don't screw this up, Locke.

Remember who you are. You don't want your dad to have to come on this podcast and say something about you. You want me to do it for you? I can like, say what? All the things that I'm saying right now. It's like you need to, don't forget what you're in college for.

It's to study, it is to become knowledgeable about stuff. You better make good grades. How else am I supposed to know? I've got to look at your grades. I have to know stuff like that. Well, he does have an incentive. Be a good boy. For making good grades.

He actually asked that. He was like, if I make straight As, will you? And then he proposed a prize. A prize? And I said. Tell him it's like a solidified future. I'm not, yeah. I was like, I'm not above this, yes.

I will incentivize you to make straight A's. Straight A's? I was like, you should've said straight A's. That's a bit unrealistic. And one B maybe? You know, I think that's a little unrealistic. Okay. So yeah, Locke's off, he's off.

He's off, he's gone. Got one, I have one. Of course his mama's still there with him. She needs to get back. She's probably on a plane right now. Okay. Or about to be. All right. Wonder how that went.

What do you mean? Jessie getting on a plane? Yeah. I'm sure she's doing fine. No, them saying goodbye. You should have called them at the moment that she was telling goodbye. Make sure you get that trash.

Talk about the trash. Oh, it's my turn to have a rec. I'm trying to come up with a rec that's related to just a very practical recommendation from fatherhood. You haven't thought about this until now? Well, I always like to keep it themed. Keep it themed, man. But I'm not gonna do that.

I'm listening to, you know, I love hip hop documentaries. Only if you're really into the history of hip hop can I advise you to take my recommendation. But if you are, I think you'll love Dilla Time, Jay Dilla. He's, if you start to get into the world of hip hop history, then it's really cool to know about J Dilla. I'm just gonna be honest. Okay. You know?

And so there's a whole book about his life. He's a producer that, he was mentored by Q-tip and he started producing tracks for them in their later albums that aren't quite as notable and then his, I don't wanna go into all the details but like, J. Ditto passed away and he was like this super producer of hip hop that was, in Dan Charnas, the author's perspective

and argument, he presents that he created this whole new type of time, like musical time, which he calls Dilla time. Like a beat signature? A beat signature that is a combination of straight and swung time by moving tracks independently from each other to create a groove. So on one hand it's like a lot of music theory,

and then on the other hand it's a biography of his life. And it goes back and forth, it's a biography of his life. And it kind of goes back and forth. And there's a lot of hip hop history that's kind of intermingled in both of those two tracks that he takes. So if you're like me, you're really into that, you'll love Dilla Time. Even though I have not been a fan of his music,

I was unknowingly a fan of many of his tracks from back in the day. So it was like, it's a good education. If you're into it, proceed with caution. Don't blame me if it's not for you. It was like a mild wreck. Mild wreck. It's a strong wreck if that's what you're into.

Della Time, listen to it on Audible. Last thing before we go, again, wanna remind you about Good Mythical Evening, September 1st, live ticketed event exclusively on Moment House, goodmythicalevening.com, get your ticks while you can. Be a part of history, it's like sending your first born off to college.

We are gonna make asses of ourselves. Yeah. And we're inviting you to see it. Okay? Okay. Okay. Talk at you next week. Hey, Rhett and Link.

This is Audrey from Illinois. I listen to your guys' podcasts every single day at the garden that I work at. And when I was a teenager, I did just sit in my bed and watch your biscuits for an hour straight. Just watch you guys. And the longest I've stayed up is 38 hours. So, love you guys. Bye. What's up, Rhett and Link? My name's Will, and I'm an environmental engineering student from Ontario.

I just listened to you talk about composting, and I wanted to pass on some interesting facts. So, first of all, there are automated systems for removing plastics and other foreign objects from compost, so no one needs to dig in with their hands. Number two, organic waste accounts for about 40% of landfill waste, so there are major land use savings from composting. Also, digesters and bioreactors capture methane and burn it for electricity or convert it to renewable natural gas. The nutrient-risk rich compost produced can also be sold. And the reactor conditions are super optimized. So, like, even bones are composted within 60 days. Thanks for talking about this.

Love you guys. Hey, Rhett and Link. I just listened to the most recent podcast episode about sleeping and also the compost bucket. And I just wanted to let you know that I was born in the year 2000 and I still throw my banana peels out the window on the side of the highway. Whether that's good or bad, that's what happens.