Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett's Bat Therapy Vacation | Ear Biscuits Ep. 365

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

What better way to get past a fear of bats than to go into a cave full of them? In this episode, Rhett and Link catch up on what they did over the holidays, including the mass frenzy of navigating through LAX during the end of the year, Link’s introduction to hockey, and Rhett taking a trip to Mexico, swimming through cenotes that put him face to face with hundreds of bats.  Start your credit journey with Chime. Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at chime.com/ear. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the Roundtable of Dim Lighting, we got some catching up to do, Rhett. We haven't talked about our breaks, and here we are, slam, bam, thank you, ma'am,

right in the middle of 2023, January. We're not in the middle of the year. We're in the middle of the start of the year. So like, is that interesting to you? Well, what I was going to say was we typically are able to really successfully hide from one another the things that we're going to talk about on Ear Biscuits.

But there's some circumstantial factors that have played into the fact that I feel like I've already told you a few of the things that I'm going to tell you again because we've hung out with friends. If there's not mics rolling, I don't listen to you. I saw that you had a faraway look in your eyes.

I just thought it was your new glasses. There's a faraway look in your eyes. How are you processing the feedback was your new glasses. I'm still adjusting to them. There's a far away look in your eyes. How are you processing the feedback on your new glasses? Merle Haggard. Because it's one of those things where. I don't give a shit. It's one of those things where. I did talk to Christy about it.

You made this choice like, you know, in our world you made this choice like a month or more ago, two months ago. Right, I bought the glasses and I started wearing them, you made this choice like a month or more ago, two months ago. Right. I bought the glasses and I started wearing them, especially in my own time. Non-screen time. But I try to avoid, you know,

I don't like to completely disengage from comments because I just feel like that's too disengaged from what people are saying. But I try to just dip in a little bit. And then it's just, of course, because we're recording this after there's only a few episodes of GMM out for the year. And people have opinions about your glasses. Oh, of course they do. I love that they have opinions. And I do give a little bit of a shit.

Let's be real. It's like, you know given, it's like, you know, when you like, when it's rabbit turds, you know. You can almost eat those. What? Well, because they look like cereal. I'm saying if I had to eat- You know what, I'll save them next time. If I had to eat a turd,

the rabbit would be probably the first. Yeah, but I'm talking about my turds that just happened to look like- I don't wanna eat your turds, I have drank your piss before. but I'm talking about my turds that just happen to be my turds. I don't want to eat your turds. I have drank your piss before. When I'm talking about rabbit turds, I'm talking about- Through a filter.

My turds. Your turds. Okay. Keep going with this analogy that I don't understand yet. It's a little shit. Oh, you give a little shit. I give a little rabbit turd

about what people think about my glasses. But I'm determined to stick to my guns, which is I like these glasses. I like them too. I think you should. First of all, when I have the gray beard, I can wear these glasses, the gray ones or the clear ones. But like when I don't have the beard, I really like the brown ones. So I actually have the beard just I really like the brown ones. So I actually have the beard just so I can wear these glasses.

What happens if you wear the glasses with the beard? I don't think it... The other one. What happens if you wear the dark glasses with that beard? That's fine, that's fine, but I can't... You can't wear those without a beard? That's what I feel like. Why? I don't know. It's just something about the look of it.

That I, you know, that I, that's how I think about it. But yeah, I know that people are talking about the glasses and that's great. It gives some people something to talk about because they want something to talk about. Let's give them something to bonnie rate. I'm two for two, man. Give me some more song lyrics.

So yeah, we're gonna get into the stuff that maybe you've already told me a little bit about. I'll get into a little bit of what I told you about. I'll tell it better this time. I got to be honest. I think I'm dealing with just a little bit of a hangover this morning. I'm in a bit of a, I have a tinge of hangover. In my experience, it doesn't take a whole lot of alcohol to put you in a hangover state.

Well, I can't tell if it's from alcohol or if it's just from hockey. Well, those are difficult to decipher sometimes. I think I have a hockey hangover. Last night, I went with my neighborhood friends. This has become quite a thing, I see. Yeah, there's a group of guys, dads, who they discovered that somebody

had never been to a hockey game. But this is not- So they were like, we're going to a hockey game. This is not Lando football flag. It is. Flag football friends. Dads, yes. Same thing, same group. Mm-hmm.

Okay. And so we went to a, what I told Christy this morning was the Sacramento Kings. I was like, hold on, that's not right. It's the LA Kings. She was like, I know who they are, they wear black. And I'm like, dang, you're right, girl.

Well, I found it interesting when you were leaving last night and you said you were going to a hockey game and I said, the Kings game? Which I've never been to. And you were like, yeah. And I was like, how has that slipped under the radar for 12 years that we've been in Los Angeles? They play at the Staples Center, which is now called the Crypto Center.

So when I said that the Sacramento Kings played at the Staples Center, it's kind of like true in a past world kind of a thing. Anyway, listen to this, man. world kind of a thing. Anyway, listen to this, man. At the end of the game, match thing, they told me, sorry, hockey lovers, you know what, I'm just a newbie. Be patient with me.

A dedicated Kings fan in full get up, there with his son, kept leaning over like emoting to his 15 year old son about things that were happening when the whole thing was over he turned around to us we were like on the fifth row it was like really gets really nice seats behind the plexiglass and um he said you know what there's this was a really great game. You guys saw, he could tell that like we were, had never been there before.

Just that based on what we were saying through the thing, me and a couple of other people, I think he picked up on the fact that like we were coming to grips with professional hockey for pretty much the first time. All you and all the dads? No, just me and like one other dad that was next to me. And then there were a couple, I mean, one guy's Canadian, so.

Yeah, it's in his blood. And then another guy is a physical therapist. He craps hockey pucks. Yeah, he does. He does. All Canadians do. Right. That's why their toilets are different.

Even their rabbits shit hockey pucks. Right, uh-huh. You can see, they build a lot of things out of them too, because the way they stack them. So this guy turned around and he was like this is a really good game A lot of things happen in this game that you that you rarely see A fight a lot of them happened. Well, I mean there was um Towards the end of the game there was that situation where they're down by two and they don't have enough time to come back And i'm talking about the power play. Um

They took the they took the keeper out. Yeah. And they replaced him with another player. So the goal was just left bare ass open. I mean, it's just like bent over a barrel back there. Yeah, right. With your britches down. But it's so little that it doesn't really matter.

Or does it? Because, so all the action was down here at our end when they were trying to catch up the kings kings won so it was the other team that was trying to catch up what was the other team the the white one you don't know who it was uh it was edmonton that's a Canadian team. Yeah. Yeah, which, anyway, some, one of the, one of the Kings You were really paying attention. really got the puck,

and I'm telling you, he was still on the defensive side of the rink, and he sat there and just like launched it. Shoo! And it went right on the goal.

Goal! That never happens, I'm told. This was after the first fight had occurred. Oh. And let me tell you, there was a fight, man, right there, pushing people against the plexiglass. There was a dude, like, hitting the plexiglass. Like, people, I was like, is that okay?

And they were like, well, he's being a little obnoxious, but it is okay. Is that okay? And then all of a sudden the second fight broke out, like, you know, 10 minutes later. How long did they let it go on? First one, not too long. Second one, a little bit longer. And it was like right there in front of us. That was amazing.

But how committed? My experience with hockey fights is that it's like. It was like they were smiling a little bit. It's sort of like, yeah, we're doing this. It's kind of a routine almost. Like I'm not actually trying to really hurt you. Well, the thing that my Canadian friend explained to me was he was like, yeah, it's. He speaks English?

He speaks English. Interesting. I was like, yeah, that's... He speaks English? He speaks English. Interesting. I was like, they measure the hits? Like, you look up there at the scoreboard, and there's the score, which I totally expected. Then underneath it, there was, like, hits. They count the hits and display them. This is when... A hit is when you have the puck, then somebody hits you, like checks you.

Like they measure that. For what? Well, he said. Somebody to bet on? Probably. He said it was a measurement of like taking a toll on the other team. It's just something they like to measure. Like a street fighter.

Hitting each other. So then Will, the physical therapist, he was explaining to me. He was like There's gonna be another fight. I was like what it's like sneezes. It's gonna be another fight I didn't think they fought anymore There's always another one and then that's when the second fight happened and then when that fight was over he was like, yeah This is I had it. I was like, how did you know that was gonna happen? He was like well that i could tell that they were getting real chippy with each other and i was like i can infer what that means and then it it creates like a an energetic shift the emotional energy like to in your favor which i never thought

about it yeah it's don't yeah it's like it's like decimating the other team like if you can and on the other side of that second fight yeah i mean the energy was totally different another thing talking about energy that I didn't know about hockey was, he said, you know, if you look, they are subbing themselves out every 45 seconds or so. Like, in the middle of play, you'll just see a group of people jump over and then a group of people retreat to the bench. And he said, because they're going at such an intensity that they can only last for like 45 seconds. You can relate to that. Right?

Is this a sexual joke? Yeah, that was a sexual joke. Okay. It almost landed. I don't even think you were listening. It landed. You glazed over, man. See, I lost interest.

This is the point where I need to punch you to really change the energy. Yeah, I mean, you're talking about, yeah, okay. But yeah, they're going at such an intensity that they got to rest constantly. Because the game is so fast. Much respect to the hockeyers. I'm just going to tell you right now, it's better than the soccer. It's like soccer, but a little too cold. I'm gonna dress warmer next time. But it's fast. And it's intense.

Could you keep up with the puck? And then... mmm... kinda. And then, I'm like, what is that on the ice? There's something here, there's something there. There's four of these things. And then I'm like, what is that on the ice? There's like something here. There's something there. There's four of these things. And then I look up and lo and behold, my friend was right. Two players had thrown their gloves to the ground.

Yeah. And then they had their dukes up and they were about four feet apart from each other. Just squared off like two boxers in a ring. Yeah. And everybody just started backing away. The ref could have easily just right there in the middle of that and said, nope, everybody just backed away and made a circle. That's what they did.

And they were duking, and then they just started punching each other in the raw face. But not as aggressively as UFC. No, there was blood, dude. Oh no, it's not UFC. But there was blood coming out of the guy's face. Oh, they'll knock their teeth out, yeah. I mean, that's crazy. Three fights. I'm never going back. It's never going to be that good again. I'll give you $100 if you could tell me what icing is.

Well, let's see. I don't want to spoil it, but I'll tell you on your birthday. Well, that was your opportunity to say what goes on a cake, and then you would have gotten an easy one. Well, that's kind of what I did, Rhett. Get it? Your birthday? Oh, that was pretty good. See, I'm a thinking man's comedian. I'll give you $100. Come on, man, you gotta, hey, are you hungover?

Come on, man, come on, man. I think it must be contagious. Slap yourself. You know the interesting thing is that I kinda got a little bit of a inside look at this over Christmas. Hockey? I wasn't even going to tell this story, but now that you're telling it.

You can't resist. My father-in-law is the official dentist of the Carolina Hurricanes. And they say the fewer teeth that they have, the better player they are. Yeah, and we played poker one night with him. Don't tell me you use hockey teeth. And a couple of his dentists and some other guys. Okay. And one of the dentists was sitting next to me

and was basically saying, yeah, I gotta go in in the morning. It was like, go in on Christmas Eve or something. He was going in at a time that he wasn't planning on going in because he had to do some, somebody got their teeth knocked out. Hockey person.

And of course, he couldn't say who it was. He couldn't tell us some mixed company because this is all, this is doctor-patient privilege, HIPAA stuff, so he can't discuss it openly with people like me there. But he was basically, I got to go in. There was an accident or whatever. If I could tell you who he was, you would know him.

Of course, you probably could have watched the game or the match and figured it out. But yeah, I mean, it happens on such a regular basis that, of course, not only is this like a sponsorship kind of relationship, but, and by the way, anytime you want to go to if now that you're a hockey guy, anytime you want to go to a Carolina Hurricanes game back home, they've

got a box because they're the official dentist of the Carolina Hurricanes. If I can't slap the plexiglass, that's a problem. I don't want to go. But you get free food. I don't want to go further away. You know me. I'm not big into food. I'm more into just hockey.

Like, it's all about the game to me. At one point, I started talking to my friends about, well, you know, how often they have sex. During the game? Yeah, my Canadian friend said, this is the type of thing we should talk about over coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad they're holding you in line a little bit and not letting you dictate that conversation.

Yeah, I'm the low man on the totem pole over there. It's nice. Because, you know, here I just ride high. I get away with everything. Hockey man. So they didn't volunteer that information. But if they did, you would now tell it to all of us on a podcast.

If they told you how often they had sex. I got some good data. I had a lot of sex over my break. I'll talk about that in a moment. But first, I guess in some sort of vertical, bite-sized form, is on Snapchat. Sounds pretty awesome. Sounds pretty awesome.

To me. I don't go on Snapchat. We are where you are. If you're on Snapchat, then conveniently, we can be there with you. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered.

A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No.

A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. So your break. I feel like I want to hear about your break.

Okay. I can scratch that itch for you. Yeah, yeah. My break started, well, summarize, it was a trip to Raleigh, to North Carolina, and then it was- Home of the hurricanes. Followed by a trip to Mexico with just my wife. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Let's start, though. Let me set the scene for you. December 20th at Los Angeles International Airport. Okay. We've never flown On that particular day We'd usually fly 17th Maybe 18th

Jessie's birthday is the 18th So we typically try not to travel on her birthday And we are usually in North Carolina For her birthday Kind of times out most of the time So we get in there and have like a week before Christmas We were like let's have her birthday Here Didn't we do's have her birthday here.

Didn't we do something for her birthday? Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we ran it. That's the last time I saw you. We ran it at a party bus. Oh, gosh, we did. We ran it at a party bus.

That's a story in and of itself. It was full of glitter. Oh, my gosh. It turns out. Oh, good. Yeah, oh, man. We got to tell this story, right? Well, I didn't think about this.

First of all, it wasn't my idea to do the party bus. And also, it was Jenny, Mike's wife, it was her idea to do a limo because we were talking about what we were going to do for Jesse's birthday. And she's like, well, let's get a limo. And Jesse's like, that's a great idea. Turns out, in 2022, when you request a limo, it's not going to be like the limo that took us to prom, which is like a long Lincoln. It's gonna be most likely a party bus. Party bus. Because it's just got more room and you can stand up inside. It's better.

No stripper pole in this one, unfortunately. But, um, it was, so anyway. You can stand up, well, you can't, but I can barely stand up in there. It's kind of a last minute thing, but, um. Great idea. Your, um, your, well. Your wife had a little trouble. Yeah, she gets car sick. I've told the stories over the years of like, just the art of pulling over

and getting her out quick enough so that I can start filming with my phone before she actually starts retching into the ditch. Like, I've gotten really good at that. Like, pull over, park, whip out the phone, beat her to the punch. Will you post that on Snapchat? I'll post that on Snapchat, yeah.

That's the only thing you post on Snapchat. But your biscuits is on Snapchat, do you hear that? Yeah, I heard about that. If you want to watch your biscuits there, you can. She gets car sick. She got car sick pretty quick, right? Before we left your neighborhood. Before we left the neighborhood.

I know. Within one mile. We got a ways to go. And then we got in to roll the window down so we could see him. the driver to roll the window down so we could see him. And we talked Christie into asking him, is it okay if I sit in the front seat with you? I'm getting car sick.

He was like, I would love for you to do that, but I don't have another seat. And we quickly put together. Yeah. Well, first of all, he didn't. He didn't. There's an obvious reason for this because the- You don't want a sick woman- The drunk riding with him.

Oh, it doesn't have to be a woman. I mean, a person. She is a woman. But you don't want the person who is most likely to vomit to be up there with the driver. No matter what gender. Correct. Right.

Right. In this case, it was your wife, though. Right. And also, Mike was a little car sick. He was getting car sick. But he just got quiet, whereas Christy kind of like, she was in the front, and we were all sitting in the middle in the back. By this point, you and I were in the back, and we were having our own little conversation. You were showing me something on your phone.

Which is a great way to get car sick. Which is probably something on TikTok. And Christy was up at the front, turned sideways, kind of in a vertical fetal position. And I kind of leaned over to you. I was like, if she vomits, I hope she does it down into the floorboard so when we open the sliding door, it'll just kind of like cascade out. This is what I was saying.

And you're showing me something on the phone. And it's all like, poor pitiful Christy. You know, it's like, you gotta laugh to keep from crying. It's kind of how I felt about it. And then she was having a tough time. But then all of a sudden, kind of like, you know how in Lord of the Rings, when like Gollum is talking to himself and it's like Smeagol versus Gollum

and who's going to win? And then he turns his face away from the camera and then all of a sudden he turns back and he's like, and it's like, oh, Gollum wins? There was a Christy version of that where, like, all of a sudden, she whips around and looks straight at me and you, and she's like, don't you think about putting this video on Ear Biscuits. She thought you were filming her.

And we would never do that. She was jumping to the conclusion that not only was I filming, but that we were planning on posting it. We would never do that. I mean, we wouldn't even talk about it on Ear Biscuits. Right, we wouldn't do that. We wouldn't even do that. We wouldn't recount the story in detail.

No. But she did make it. She did make it. She did not vomit. But she retched at one point. She did a dry heave. Oh, yeah? Did you not notice that?

The thing I didn't understand is why we didn't give her something to do it in. Because you're talking about doing it on the floor. I don't want just loose vomit inside of my party bus. You know what I mean? It's hoseable. Yeah, but we don't have a hose right now. At the moment, yeah. I didn't have a bucket.

Yeah, but at least I was thinking about it a little bit. We could have given her like three champagne glasses. You know, it's like we had those. Fill these up. It's like a bartender. We should have given her a receptacle is all I'm saying. Yeah, poor girl. So it was pretty funny.

Trying to just like, how much not partying was happening on this party bus. But you gotta go back to your story, dude. I mean, we haven't even gotten to your vacation. We were talking about the airport. I don't know what day you flew, but I just have never been to LAX when it was so crazy. Now, I show up as a policy.

I'm a typical dad. I get there early. My rule is we get there two hours early, right? Which is what they kind of tell you to do, but a lot of people are like, oh, hour and a half. But I try to get there two hours early. Well, we show up and it is just a madhouse. Bedlam.

And we have to go to, because Shepard is 14, and the way that we ended up like putting the, we were all on the same reservation, but typically you can't just get a boarding pass for a 14 year old. You have to get into the, I need assistance. Like I need to talk to an agent line, which is what we always do. Yep.

I don't do the, I don't know. So we get in that line and I'm like, this line is moving very, very slowly. And it's very, very long. And I'm not that good at math anymore, but it doesn't seem like we're going to make it. And then I asked one of the representatives of the airline that we were flying. I was like, you think we're going to make it? We got a flight to RDU, and she says, I don't know.

I've got to see how things are shaking out, but we recommend that you get here four hours early for domestic flights and five hours early for international flights during this time of year at LAX. It's a bit late for that. I'm like, well, my flight's leaving in like an hour and 35 minutes. Oh, God. And I began to panic a little bit,

and this is one, I have some certain, I'm going to talk a little bit more about some things I learned about my own anxiety over the course of the vacation, but it's well established that I have anxiety, not about the process of flying, but the process of getting, not being late, not missing a flight. Yeah. Okay. And having to introduce, like, complications where you have to then get on the phone with somebody.

I actually get anxious thinking about it because I hate having to figure logistical things out, even though it's just going to be me texting Kara and having her do it. Even that is just – it's very stressful for me. It's very stressful for me. And so, and also, you know, very slight PTSD from getting stuck in Atlanta, Georgia for three days one day because of a flight, missing a flight. Nothing against Atlanta. Just wasn't expecting to have to get all my clothes from Target for three days. But the, so at that point I panicked a little bit and I said, well, I'm going to go out to the sky cap.

Yeah. Checking on the curb. I left the family in line. I go out there and it's, you know, it's a shorter line. It seems to be moving pretty fast. So we get in line there and then we get up to the guy. He's like, everybody here over 18? First, I mean, my heart just immediately like goes to my throat.

I'm like, no. He said, oh, you can't check in here. Because we were actually on three different confirmation numbers. So you had to get back in the online? No, I said, I think, I'm just going to, I don't know the guy's name. Maybe he was an angel. You know how we have experiences with angels, me and you. All the time. And I said,

Michael. Listen, we all have the same last name and we're on different confirmation numbers, but we're all in the same family. And he was kind of like, okay, let me see what I can do. I don't know how this stuff works. I don't know, like this is a policy, but I'm about to violate the policy.

And then, so he goes through the process, and he's like, give me a second. I'm gonna go see if I can figure this out. And I like pulled out a, you know, you tip these guys, that's part of the deal, but I pulled out a $50 bill. I just happen to have a 50. No, you don't. And I was like, thank you.

And like, as he's leaving to go like handle it, I like give it, and escort, I mean, hey, listen, thank you. And as he's leaving to go handle it, I give it. And Escort, I mean, hey, listen, it works. He came back and he had Shepard's boarding pass. We're good to go. We made the flight. It felt incredible. $50 lighter. He may have done it without the tip.

I mean, I was going to tip him anyway, but I wasn't necessarily going to give him 50 bucks. Gee. I don't know what standard tipping for the Sky Cab guy is. I usually throw him a couple of 20s, which I guess is $40. So maybe it was a standard tip. That is $40. Two times 20 is 40.

I've forgotten that. So anyway, my vacation started with this elevated heart rate, a little bit of almost crisis. Now, none of my family's freaking out. They don't care. That's why you're freaking out because you have to do it. It's up to you. Well, I feel responsible for them, you know. You are. You are. Because, you know. You're giving them, that's a gift you give them. But when me, because when me and you travel, I don't feel that way. Like, I don't, I don't have a lot of anxiety about,

like, I'm just like, if we miss this flight, I mean, I'm not as lackadaisical as you, as you, the way that you approach flights, but I'm also like, hey, if we miss this flight, like, we'll get on another one. We'll tell a story about it. But the family, it's just like, especially around Christmas. I get it.

I get it. I get it. You're worked up. It's understandable. Now, not a whole lot happened in North Carolina. It was a quick trip. Skip that, man. I will do one highlight, though.

Oh, let's hear that. So we're still, the cabin that I've spoken of before is not currently habitable because my wife is having her way with it. But this will become the place that we stay when we go to North Carolina. One year down the road. This coming Christmas. But I noticed that something had been eaten in my freaking log cabin. I saw that you posted a picture of wood. Yeah.

I didn't realize, I didn't put it together that that was actually the house. That it was a real, that it was a real, that it was a house. That I was being sincere. No, I just thought it was like a wood pile. It was just the corner of a log cabin where the wood comes together.

And, you know, before we got this thing, it was all like sealed and stuff. It was inspected. Like I knew that there was not this like raw wood. And, you know, I'm not there on a regular basis and so like you checking in and we did some work and met some guys out there to do some work but I'm looking at this and I'm like,

I didn't wanna do this because I don't really like to do the whole like here's a problem for Twitter to solve because you know you're gonna get like 95% just jokes. Yeah, why'd you do it that way? Well, what was the other way to do it? Reddit? Yeah, well, Google. Can you Google an image? I tried that. Yeah, you can do that.

I tried that. Huh. So. Crowdsourcing. I saw that Alex Punch gave you a smart-ass response. I knew I was gonna get a lot of smart-ass responses, and I actually was sort of like, I'm gonna look, okay, I'll be entertained by the smart-ass responses. Teach you not to take it too seriously. But I hopefully will find the correct response,

because I was like, this can't be like a beetle or something. It looks like something was gnawing on it, but what? Then I was like, you're like a beaver? I don't think beavers would do this. Like a beaver coming from that creek behind the know, behind the house and like coming up there.

Like, no, beavers, they like cut down trees to put and make a dam out of. I don't know. They're trying to cut down my house and make a dam out of my house? That'd be a cool thing to document. But one guy responded and said, I am a pest control specialist in North Carolina and I am 100% certain that it is squirrels. Squirrels. Because this time of year, squirrels are collecting wood for their nests.

So they're taking their little front teeth and they're just kind of shaving off the layer. And apparently- Your house is being eaten by squirrels. And apparently you can put something on the house. Like once you like sand it down, finish it, you can put something on the house in those places to keep the squirrels.

But it's also because we haven't been there and squirrels are like, nobody's home, let's eat it. You know, let's eat the home now that no one's there. So we gotta, I mean. It's like a cartoon. You come back next time and half your home is gone in kind of like a squirrel organic shape. I don't think they're going to eat much. You know what you need to do, man?

You know what you need? You need some really responsible, handy squatters. You just need some people to squat, keep an eye on the place. How about just put a mannequin on the front porch? Or a mannequin on the front porch. I think just a mannequin with a- Mechanism.

A mechanized mannequin. A mannequin that looks like he has like a.22. Just a mannequin with a BB gun. There could be a, like, he could raise the BB gun and There could be a, like, it could raise the BB gun and then the little speaker could do like a countdown from, a dramatic countdown from

10. 10? Like Home Alone. You want me to Macaulay Culkin my front porch. Yeah, I do. Tis this was the season. I like this idea. Need a great reason to get up in the morning? Well, what about two? Right now, get a small organic fair trade coffee and a tasty bacon and egg or breakfast sandwich for only $5 at A&W's in Ontario. Well, I don't want to talk about Mexico. I'm going to hear a little bit about your trip before I continue on with my trip.

I experienced the airport. If we have to go there again, I don't want to do it on... Let's see. We picked up my mom on December 20th, I think. Wasn't it like the day... The day we were leaving, you were picking her up. Maybe it was the 19th, but like, we go to pick her up,

and she calls me when she lands, and then I text her, I'm like, once you get your bags and come out to the curb, then we'll come up and get you, because you don't want to have to park. I wanted to avoid parking. And then about that time, I hit this traffic, and we could not get into the airport.

And then I couldn't get in touch with my mom. Like, she was not answering the phone. It had been 30, 40, 50 minutes since we talked. I was like, she's definitely. What's happened? She's got a North Carolina-only cell phone plan. She's not in communication, and I can't get to her. I don't know where she is.

And then we're like driving around and it is bedlam. People trying to get picked up. And I'm like, Christy, we just need to start looking. Maybe my mom is out here. My mom, this is the first time she's ever traveled alone. And here she is at LAX. Who knows where? like out of reach. And I was like, she's supposed to be at Terminal, I guess, 3 it was.

I can't remember. So then at Terminal 2, Christy looks up, and she's like, there she is. And this had been like, I'd been worrying for like 45 minutes. And she like instantly saw her. And like get her in the car and my mom's like sweating profusely and like talking about how, I've been trying to reach you. I used this stranger's phone and I got them to call you too. And she was like, it was all I could do just not to burst into tears. And my poor mom is trying not to cry the whole time,

and I'm realizing that my phone is the problem. Yeah, you had, like, notifications. You had, like... I don't... It's one of those inexplicable things where you just need to restart your phone so it, like, it says it is connected, but it no longer was. Something about... How many people there were?

The hacks of LAX. I felt so bad. It was my fault, but we got home. Not to be critical of your plan, but I would have suggested with your mother traveling alone for the first time that maybe the parking and meeting her inside was probably worth the headache. We were, I was willing to do that.

She hasn't navigated an airport by herself. I was willing to do that. You know what? Well, you know what? We threw her in the deep end, and she swam out. It was good. It worked out. Everybody's, everybody.

So she wasn't mad at you? No. Oh, that's good. I mean, there's. She's a sweet lady. Yeah. She's a sweet lady. PTSD, but okay.

So mom stayed at our house We had a great time And then we flew back with her And saw everybody But then like Turns out Chrissy's side of the family Was sick So like we couldn't We ended up not seeing them

And it was only a few days home So we saw my side of the family We had a good time It was short and sweet We get back home And then we just take it easy. I didn't go to Mexico or nothing. I just took it easy. I got in my pressurized tank, my healing tank,

trying to make sure that this bone is totally healed. Oh, you got in the hyperbaric. I got in the hyperbaric a lot, taking naps. It's like my little kennel. It worked. Well, I'm actually going to the doctor in a few hours to get an x-ray to make sure that there's union. Well, it looks like there's union. I'm no doctor.

It still feels a little weird, but maybe it's just that i need to i need to get in with that pt i'm feeling good though i'm feeling good about it so not too much to report for for my uh my holiday beyond that i think um i was just thinking about you in mexico just just hoping you were having a grand old time. I had a great time. So the impetus for this, we knew we wanted to do some kind of trip. And, you know, as originally planned, it was with our children. Oh.

But I was like, y'all want to go to Mexico for a week? We were supposed to do this last year, by the way. COVID canceled that. So I was kind of playing this mental game of not fully committing to- Gotcha. Simultaneously being very much like way more looking forward to being on vacation than I should have,

the way that you usually look forward to a vacation and you think it's going to solve all your problems and be this incredible reset. But then the other part of my brain was like, it's probably not going to happen because somebody's going to get COVID, whatever. But when we asked the boys if they wanted to go, it started with Locke and he was like, ah, you know, I'm coming back from school and I really want to see my friends in Los Angeles. We were like, okay. And then Shepard was basically, I don't want to go by myself and nobody really, no friends to take because they're doing their own thing. So I was like, okay, we'll go by ourselves. We'll sacrifice for you guys and just go on a vacation, just the

two of us, which means that Locke and Shepard would be home alone for a week in Los Angeles by themselves. 18-year-old, 14-year-old, who've never been responsible for a home and our two dogs. Yeah. So there were a number of heated interactions leading up to that, which where I there were some things that happened in the days leading up to just going to North Carolina. When when Lot was already home, that kind of demonstrated and reminded me that they're just teenagers and they don't clean up after themselves and they leave stuff hanging around, all this stuff. I was like, you can't leave food out that could kill these dogs. You know, like we had like very dad conversation with them and like, you gotta make sure, you can't leave the door open and then go outside.

Like basically I was just kind of worried about the dogs. Yeah. Just to be frank. Yeah. And, but we eventually got to a place where I said, if the house is clean and the dogs are alive and we return, then I will be fine. Okay.

And then some friends ended up coming through town and needing a place to stay. And I was like, yes, please stay at our home. Adults. Right. So they only ended up having like two days alone. So that ended up being fine. And I was actually thinking it was going to affect my enjoyment in Mexico

because I didn't want to be thinking about what was going on in my house and like having to check in constantly. But this is the longest trip that, I mean, I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think this is the longest trip that just the two of us have had since our honeymoon. Cause we just don't go on vacation, just the two of us. I mean, we go on like a weekend trip, a weekend getaway. But not like seven days away.

But yeah, seven days. And a few highlights. I mean, we were in Playa del Carmen, which is actually where we went on our honeymoon. And, but we were kind of like at our resort that we left just a couple of times. It was definitely like focusing on the chill aspect of a vacation and trying to just completely unplug

and enjoy ourselves. Nice. And which came at a really good time for both of us. Jessie's had the busiest year of her professional life. And so she's been like, you know, running like crazy. We had a crazy year as always. So it's the break is always welcome.

I swam in a cenote. Cenote. Three cenotes. I've seen pictures of these. It's like an aerial photo of a cenote is this like jungle, but then all of a sudden there's like a donut hole in a jungle and it's water. So it's like a pond, but not. It's deeper. It's a a cave that has an opening somewhere to the surface. And it's, you know, it's in areas that have a lot of limestone, and I don't know exactly what the process is, but any place that there's a lot of limestone, at one point that was ocean,

and then it's like over time it kind of drains out and reveals this like Swiss cheese, essentially. Like the earth becomes Swiss cheese that is filled with water. And at some point, apparently, these caves didn't have water in them, and like people could kind of walk around. And then in relatively recent geological past, they have filled up with water, and they filled up with like pristine crystal clear water. Is it rainwater or like groundwater or ocean water, salty? It flows to the ocean.

They flow to the ocean and they are- So it's fresh water. They're fresh water. Oh. And like, so we went with a guide whose name was Limbert. Limbert. Who was actually, with that name you may not, he was local. He was local and he's kind of a archeologist

slash historian, like he gets his, he gets his license as a historical guide to this region of Mexico. He gets it updated every few years. So he's like, this dude knew a whole lot, and he's also, I didn didn't know this and this is just ignorance on my part but like if you had told me like okay uh are there mayans still around i would be like well yeah i'm sure there's like descendants of mayans and the mexican people or whatever but

like mayans and and mexican are, it's two distinct groups. Okay. And the Mayans, there's still like millions of people who are like of Mayan heritage and speak Mayan. Like he grew up speaking Mayan. Of course he speaks Spanish as well and English. Really?

But he was like telling me about, and it's like, you know, there's Mayans who are in Mexico and Guatemala and, you know, down into Central who are in mexico and guatemala and you know down into central america there's still millions of people and still like a very intact culture there with their own language and customs and everything and so he's like telling about his grandmother and and and they have like a real tie to the land and the cenotes and all this experience of, all the history of what they used them for. And, you know, he's like clarifying things about like,

people think they sacrificed the dead in these, but really what it turns out they probably did is that they like had buried people and then they took their bones and they would put them in the cenote, like after they were clean. I learned a lot of really cool things. Huh. This is not a history lesson and i'm gonna get uh pieces of it wrong but we swam in three that day and we swam in one that was half open half closed so

like a canopy it's like here you go here's a lake sort of area and then it goes into a cave that you can swim through and comes up into another lake area and when you go, here's a lake sort of area, and then it goes into a cave that you can swim through, and it comes up into another lake area. And when you swim through, there's enough air, you don't have to hold your breath to go from one to the next. There was never a place that we had to completely do that. Well, so the second one, the second one, which was the crazy one, which was a completely enclosed one that had a stairwell. I've got pictures of all this that if you're watching on video, you're seeing right now. But we went down these stairs and they had like built the stairs and built some things into the bottom of the thing that kind of made it feel a little bit Disney World-ish. You know what I mean?

How far down did you go? Like what was the depth of stairs? 30 feet? 100 feet? 15 feet. Oh, okay. It's kind of like just underneath the surface of the ground. Oh, okay.

And we get, now there's hundreds of these. I don't know how many there are in the Yucatan Peninsula, but it feels like there's hundreds of them. And just on this one like piece of land that we went down this dirt road, like we were passing all these signs. He says, each one of these is a cenote that you can swim in.

So when we get to this one, there's no one there. Oh, wow. And he took us around to the back. Like it's this beautiful water and they put lights in the water so people could like go down there and they give you a snorkel and you can kind of like swim around.

It's like 76 degrees or something so a little a little cold water but like not too bad and it's that way all year round you know he takes us around to the back and it starts getting darker and darker and darker he's got a little flashlight he turns the flashlight off you can't see anything and it feels like we're just like 40 feet into this dark area but we can't even see the light from where we came from and then he's like we're gonna go down into this little river this little stream and we're gonna swim in this stream and swim back around what and i'm not claustrophobic but i was thinking a uh my wife is not the most, what's a nice way to put this? Jessie is clumsy, self-admittedly clumsy. And I was a little worried about her. She doesn't have a lot of like, she'll step on you.

You know what I'm saying? Like if you're like in a room with her, you don't watch her, she'll just step on you. Okay. Like walking past you by, she'll just step on you. Okay. Like walking past you by accident, she'll step on you. She might elbow you in the middle of the night in bed, that kind of thing. As a big man, I've always tried to make myself small and be conscious of that,

so maybe it's just because I'm big and I'm controlling a lot of things, so I typically don't accidentally hit people, but my little wife hits people all the time maybe that's how she sees it's kind of like her version of sonar speaking of that she's a bat

I'm gonna blow your mind she's a touching bat I'm gonna blow your mind about bats as you know I have a fear of them we swam around this

stick around for that shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today get a Best buy gift card of up to 200 on select phone activations with major carriers visit your nearest best buy store today terms and conditions apply we swam around this little thing and he would turn the light on, and he would shine it down into the water that was, like, deep. Like, okay, we'd be, like, going along, like, crawling along in, like, 18 inches of water, and then it would suddenly bottom out,

and we would look, and it would just be black, and there would be a rope coming up from the blackness. And he was like, that's the line that the scuba divers take. What? And they'll go into this cave, that's the line that the scuba divers take. What? And they'll go into this cave and they'll swim to the next cenote. Oh, so yes, totally scuba cave to the next thing, like an underwater trail with a rope? And now you being scuba certified and me wanting to be scuba certified,

but just not really having logistically lined up the time to make that happen. Cause shepherd, you know, I floated the idea to shepherd. He was like, it's very cool thing. We call it the four of us could go together,

but going into these caves and seeing those, that was like, I want to do that. So he was putting the flashlight under the water. Yeah. Yeah. He had like a, it was like a diving flashlight. In fact, he was like, I want to do that. So he was putting the flashlight under the water. Yeah, yeah. He had like a, it was like a diving flashlight.

In fact, he was like, we can't keep this light on too long outside of the water because it's not made for that. It gets too hot. It's a diving flashlight. You should probably have one of these. Chase has one. So. I just used his.

But what I did is I would dive down and grab onto the rope and pull myself for a little bit. I went down like 20 feet and adjusted my ears and pulled myself. And then I realized that my lung capacity has just dwindled so severely over the past 10 years because I haven't been doing stuff like that, holding my breath.

Yeah. But also, I was like, oh, if you have a scuba situation, you don't have to hold your breath. You need to have another level of certification that I don't yet have. For caves. For caves, yeah. It's just you gotta be trained in how to do that. But you'd be willing to, you'd do that with me?

Yeah, yes, thank you, Rhett, for the invitation. Well, I'm just saying, some people are like, I'm fine with scuba diving, but they get claustrophobic about caves. I don't... I'll think about it while I'm doing it. Be like, why didn't I think about this before I did it? Yeah.

That's what I want to do. And because you'll be there, you're going to be in charge. You're going to have to be very in charge. No, we're going to go with somebody who's in charge. Because I'm not going to worry about anything. I'm not going into a cave that somebody who has been in there many times who is leading us. I'm not exploring, okay? I'm not exploring the caves.

I'm holding on to a line that somebody else has put in there. Whenever we talk about caves, I always go back to my junior year when I went on summer project in Santa Cruz and we some of our friends from the project met some like students at like I guess at UC Santa Cruz and they took us to some caves these are not water caves these are just normal caves I think they've been covered up since, but... And we just had, like, a little flashlight, not even a headlamp. Like, we were following... We were, like, on our bellies, crawling through this stuff,

and it was so claustrophobic. There was one point where we had to... It's like it got so crunchy, like, so crunched down and small, like, all right, this is like a four-foot divot that you got to get through this to get to the other pocket. And in order to get through, as skinny as I was, I had to empty my lungs. Yeah, I don't like that.

Hold my breath with my lungs empty and then crawl through. Like, that's crazy. And hold on, if you had to do that to get through, how did anyone else get through? It was a bunch of scrawny people. There's no way I would have gotten through it. There's no way you would have gotten through it. I don't like that. I can't believe I did that.

Now, I'll say, if that's being claustrophobic, I don't want to be squeezing through something. That's just plum crazy. I don't want to be squeezing through something where I might get stuck. I don't want to be squeezing through something. That's just plum crazy. I don't want to be squeezing through something where I might get stuck. I don't like that idea. If you decide to breathe, you'll get stuck. And when you've got this tank on, that limits your maneuverability too.

But they'll start at one cenote and they'll dive and they'll come up at another one. That's cool. I would definitely want to do that. We were going along. So back to Jessie for a moment. She's cool. I would definitely wanna do that. We were going along, so back to Jessie for a moment. She's clumsy. We're going along and we kinda get to this place

where we're starting to get where we can see where we're headed, where the light is in the main cave. And he's like pointing something out and I just like look at Jessie and she just sort of, she kinda stands up a little bit and then she just completely just like falls over. And just hits a rock with her shoulder. It was weird.

From my perspective, it was as if she had just turned off. You know what I'm saying? From the back, it was just like she stood up. Power down. And she had stepped on something soft and her foot kinda went down. And so for the rest of the trip, she had this like bruise and like scraped up shoulder.

She was fine, she didn't like make a big deal about it when it happened, but I was like, "'Baby, you gotta watch yourself. "'You gotta watch yourself.'" And she told- I can't, I can't do everything. She told Limbert that she was clumsy and he laughed. I was also thinking,

I don't know how often Limt brings people into this particular situation, but I can see a lot of people like, this isn't the kind of thing you could bring like 20 people and their grandma through. You know what I'm saying? Like you'd end up, somebody's going to get hurt. Somebody's going to hit their head. I hit my head on one of the stalactites once. T for top. And I was like, hangs tight to the ceiling. T for top. And I was like, hangs tight to the ceiling. T for top.

Yeah, that's what I think of. And then. Stelagmite. M for. Maybe not. Don't worry about it. If you know tight, then you know the other ones. Cause I thought it might be stalagmites fall on you.

No, it's the opposite. I screwed it up for you. But then we get to this point and he says, look up, and I look up and I see just a couple of feet away from me, hundreds of sleeping bats. A couple of feet away from you? Just like, he kinda waited and he shines and it's just like, they're just sleeping everywhere and they're just like, like a bat blanket.

Oh, you hated that. What did you do in your brain? Uh, well, what could I do? Panic? I mean, like, you can't get away from them. Did you have a fear response? Even Jesse did, because it was like, it's just kind of creepy, you know, to like see all these like animals

that are kind of like hanging there, are they gonna fall? And were they fluttering occasionally? Like a couple of them would like move a little, a little, a little. Well, they were kind of like, a couple of them would be moving. They don't have wings, man. They have hands with skin.

Well, that's kind of what wings are. Wings are just arms that evolved into feathers. But not with a bat, dude. They're still hands with skin. Yeah. When we got back out into the main area, I started realizing that there was several that were flying around. And that's really the thing that gets me, is a bat that's flying around because at that time,

Heather Dinklage got one right on the back of the neck. We were outside in North Carolina. And I don't know. I feel like through exposure therapy, this trip changed my relationship with bats because after that, I started realizing that there's bats everywhere in Mexico where we were at, including the resort every single night because there's a cenote on the resort that we ended up going to.

We took a little bike ride around the nature trail and the guy took us in there and showed us all the baby bats. And there were bats flying everywhere. But were they duking on you? Interesting were they dookie-ing on you? Interesting. They constantly- Guano-ing on you?

They constantly guano. Is it a verb? Because let's make it such. They constantly guanate. Yeah. Guanning. Into the water. And we asked the question-

Which you were in. So we're in this water and you were telling me earlier that this was the drinking water for the Mayans and he was like, he explained it again, details I don't remember. The guano does not make the water not potable. Like it's still completely clean

based on the process that's happening and the constant like inflow. And it's, it's doesn't make, never made them sick. It doesn't make anybody sick. And there's literally hundreds, if not thousands of bats in every one of these caves, just constantly guanating into the water. Huh. It's not a problem. Not a problem.

It's not a problem. It's not a problem. Guana, guana, guana is, guano is not a problem. It's not a problem. Um, okay. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. Guana, guana, guana, guano is not a problem. It's not a problem. Okay, I'm gonna get to the anxiety in a moment. I had another, it's one of these situations where something happened that then I interacted with the internet and now I'm going back

to contextualize the situation. Okay. And that was, I told you about this ahead of time. I told you that I had purchased a matching set of a short-sleeved shirt and shorts to wear on my vacation. Yeah, that's right. This is not a first for me. You might recall the watermelon set that I had in Mexico maybe five years or six years ago. That's right.

So this is something that I am known to partake in while in Mexico, apparently. And while watching season two of White Lotus, which I got to say, seems to be more and more recognized as being better in the second season than the first season, just so you know. I mean, that's the way the tide seems to be turning. Interesting. But, what's her name's fling boyfriend from England in the show?

The, quote, nephew. The nephew is, he wears this outfit during the show. And I had seen that outfit advertised to me on Instagram, because that's how Instagram works.

It gets into your head and knows exactly what you like. And ended up purchasing this set. But I went with the pink one because I was like, mix it up a little bit, go pink. Good. I think I should have gone green. There's green and there's Navy and there's pink.

I went pink. Yeah. Actually, I think the green was sold out in my size. Maybe that's what happened. Anyway, I was trying to figure out when I was gonna wear it on vacation. And since we were spending- Every day, man.

Since we were spending a lot of time in the resort, and it was a nice place, but what I was finding is that people just kind of show up at the restaurants in the resort in a... They're not like, hey, I'm in a matching set. Do you know what I'm saying? It was more like, I've got on shorts and a...

I got on my... People weren't dressed up. But it was kind of like, I don't know. I got the thing. I'm gonna wear it. What's their problem? And I wore it that one night. And actually, one of the couple that was sitting next to us was like, oh, he said the brand.

The brand is Dandy Del Mar. Free ad for Dandy Del Mar. Oh, yeah. Not a sponsor. And he's like, Dandy Del Mar. Nice. This is Dandy Del Mar. He was wearing a shirt.

See? So he was dressed up. And I was like, youandy Del Mar. Nice. This is Dandy Del Mar. He was wearing a shirt. See, so he was dressed up. And I was like, you guys watch White Lotus? And she was like, I feel like I'm living it. Okay. And then I was like, yeah, the nephew wears this outfit. And I saw it and I was like, I'm going to get that for the trip or whatever. But we talked about it, but then I like, and we didn't have much of a conversation with this couple.

Then we go back to our dinner. And I say to Jesse, I said, my outfit is not making me feel like I thought it would. Just a moment of vulnerability with my lovely wife. And then her immediate response is, you should tweet that. She was like, that sounds like a tweet. She was like, that sounds like a tweet. She was like, that sounds like a relatable tweet. And I'm like, I don't wanna tweet on this vacation.

I didn't see this tweet. I saw that, but okay, go ahead. And so she was like, here, I'll take a picture of you. I'll take a picture of you. And we're in this restaurant that's kind of like, it's like indoor, outdoor, beautiful place where the canal in the middle of the resort kind of comes up to where our table was. But there's people, including a family

of mom and a dad and three kids sitting over there. And I'm like, you know me, I don't like to stand up and be like, I'm getting my picture taken in this outfit. I don't like to do that. But Jessie was like, just do it. I was like, okay, this is funny, this is for the internet.

So I stood up and I kinda like made a face that was like, captured the idea of I don't feel, this outfit is not making me feel like I thought it would. Yeah, I saw that picture. But what I did is I tweeted it without attaching the picture and then I replied to the tweet with the picture. Jessie, you know, she's my social media manager.

That's how you gotta do it. And she explained why that was the thing that I needed to do. I just follow the directions. I do what she tells me to. Okay. And as Jessie was taking the picture of me standing there by myself, the mom from the family that was watching said, if you want me to get a picture of both

of you, just let me, I can get a picture of both of you. And instead of just saying, okay. Yeah. Just say say okay, please. I said, uh... You said okay. Don't worry. She... And now more people are listening. Other tables are listening because I'm having to say this to this woman across the restaurant. Oh. Is what it felt like.

Don't worry. Don't worry. This is for Twitter. Oh, God. Oh. Is what it felt like. Don't worry. Don't worry. She... This is for Twitter. Oh. Uh... Yep. Yeah, yeah. You made it worse. And I think that I upset her, you know, cause I'm... You know, she offered to

take a picture of us and it was like, no, no, this is just me. I want my wife to take a picture of just me for Twitter. And I didn't... So interesting. I didn't... Then it would explain, well, this is a joke. Like, I'm doing just me for Twitter. So interesting. I didn't then explain, well, this is a joke. Like I'm doing a joke for Twitter. You've said plenty to her. So they must've thought, oh, it's a Twitter guy. Christy saw this picture before I did

and I'm across the room petting my doggies and she goes, Rhett just posted a picture of him in an outfit and I think it's the same one that you bought. I hate to break it to you, but I looked at the picture and I was like, well, his is pink, mine is green. Oh, I almost got, I would have gotten the green one if I didn't have the size, if they had my size.

I had forgotten, because you did tell me the whole, you said, I bought this thing, I'm going to wear it to Mexico. You mentioned that to me because we were talking about White Lotus. I'd forgotten you said that, and then I was like, I need to get some, I want to get some loungewear for whenever I go to Mexico. for whenever I go to Mexico. And I bought, I found myself on the site, and I was, because I had just searched resort wear, and then that's the site that came up.

That's, it's the site for that. And I got the, I was gonna get the blue one, but they didn't have my size, and I wasn't gonna get the pink one. So I got the green one. I shouldn't have gotten the pink one. And let me tell you, man, I'm not gonna make the mistake you made.

I'm gonna flaunt it hard. I'm gonna show up to places and they're gonna be like, who is that? Who is that? When you put these things on the internet... That's fun. Now, first of all... And I'm not going to make that face you made in my pictures. I'm putting it on the internet as a way to entertain, of course,

but as is always the case whenever you put anything on the internet. People think you're making what? You're searching for compliments? People think that, oh... Maybe you are. Maybe that's a part of it. Well, here's what I did. It's okay if it is.

Well, I'm not saying that every picture I put on the internet is... There are pictures of me that I would post on the internet that I am in some part of my brain fishing for compliments. But because I very specifically did not want that to be the case in this one, I was like... You made that face. I'm going to make this face. And I looked at it and I was like, my legs look weird.

You know, like my knees looks fat or something like that. But I bet you fans misinterpreted the face as he needs a compliment. Some people, of course, some people did that. But then a lot of people took it upon themselves, and that's just totally fine, to explain to me why it wasn't making me feel like I wanted it to feel.

And it was that it was too close to my skin tone. I'm too pink to wear pink. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which, you know, maybe that's the case. I should've got the green, now you've got the green, I can't get the green. But I also, maybe at some point we do go to Mexico together But also Maybe

Maybe at some point We do go to Mexico together And we wear We wear them at the same time Maybe we do the pink and the green Or maybe I get the blue And the blue and the green I bought another one

And then I wore it Downstairs And Lando and Christy said You gotta return that From the same site? No From a different site. You wanna see this picture?

Because I've returned it. Yeah, you're making a face at me. It doesn't work, does it? She said I look like a little Dutch boy. I wanna be a little Dutch boy. I mean, I just feel like the shorts are kinda pushing it a little bit. The shorts are too small. But when I looked at the models, their britches were that tight too. It's all about the look on your face. And I didn't have the right look on my face.

Um, but... Actually, I kinda do have the right look on my face. You don't look confident enough. Oh, okay. Yeah, I kind of do have the right look on my face. You don't look confident enough. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't. We had an excellent time. Did you, though? I'm glad.

We made a lot of love. That was one of the goals. You want to make love at least daily. So we did that a couple times twice. For seven days? Yeah. That's impressive, dude. I mean, at a certain point, you're just like, well, what else will we go to do?

Well, you gotta mix it up a little bit. I mean, I wouldn't have held it against you to skip a day. I would still be like, wowzer. That's good, man. Well, it was a little bit of a goal. Okay, there you go. So you actually, you both set out to

be completionist about it? We just talked a lot about the sex that we were gonna have in Mexico. Well, you don't build it up. And so, and then we fulfilled that. Oh, wow. We delivered on that. So, but you were like, every single day.

We're not going to miss a day. Did you have to talk about that? I think I said something like that. I was like, well, we should do it every day. Question mark. Submission accomplished there. Submission accomplished. Yeah, we tried a little bit of that.

Who to who. Yeah, yeah. I wore a collar in my pink outfit. Can I borrow the pink outfit? Nothing. It's too big for you. Well, maybe that's what it needs. It needs a little drop shadow. It's a double X.

I had to get a double XL in that shirt. That's how small that size runs. All right. So, I noticed something about myself when I was on vacation, and this is something that's actually always been present, but it hit me in a way that it hasn't before. Maybe it's just because, you know, cumulative years of therapy at this point make me more sensitive to what I'm actually feeling and thinking. Good. to what I'm actually feeling and thinking.

Good. So I was like, we had a really crazy year last year. You were there. Yeah. But unlike some previous years where I feel like there are things on the horizon of the new year that could be a source of anxiety for me, it felt like a lot of the horizon of the new year that could be a source of anxiety for me it felt like a lot of the sources of anxiety came to a close we got answers on things at the end of the year i feel that and i'm looking forward to have been looking forward to this year with much more anticipation

than anxiety very excited about everything that we're doing at Mythical and the stuff that we're making and the ideas that we're talking about. So it's more just like a giddy, maybe there's an impatience of wanting to get to it, but not an anxiety about it. Not even really an anxiety about is it gonna perform well or people are gonna be into this new stuff that we're gonna try.

I'm kinda like, I'm not really doing it for that anymore. Yeah. So, but what I found was, I would find myself trying to relax into a book or just a chair and having this anxiety. And then immediately, what I have always done is like, you feel the physical anxiety and then you stop and you try to find the source of the anxiety in your brain. Right?

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, it's that. It's that thing that I'm thinking about. It's the kids at home and something's gonna happen. But then I started talking to Jesse, I was like, you know, I'm beginning to realize that I have always had a baseline of anxiety, but I'm always, because we've been so busy for so long,

always able to immediately track it to something that I can then put myself into. And I don't have like a- Solve it, dissipate it, address it. Yeah, and I'm not like- The external. And so, and I don't think I usually present as an anxious person, maybe to you sometimes or to Jesse more often or whatever. But I've never been like, oh, I have an anxiety problem or I have an anxiety disorder. And I'm not saying that I do.

Maybe I do. I don't know. I'm still exploring this. I'm still exploring this. But what I did find is that, oh no, I actually, like if there was a dial and there was a baseline of anxiety, I realized that my baseline is elevated and it's a physiological thing that doesn't necessarily have a source.

My brain senses that my, and I'm not a psychologist, but the way that it feels is as if my brain senses that my, and I'm not a psychologist, but the way that it feels is as if my brain senses that my body is anxious and then it provides the source of the anxiety for itself to then try to figure out and solve. And so then I'll do something like write a bunch of ideas down or figure this thing out or like, you know, come up with something or execute something. And then it, my anxiety dissipates because I've done something. I've identified the source and then I've gone and tried to do something to solve it. But you're saying that there's,

that's not the full source? Like at this point, I'm saying that- Because those things weren't there. I'm saying that it's not, it's not linked to any particular actual thing, any reality. It is a physiological baseline that

I've been operating at this heightened level, not like debilitating, but annoying and sort of obvious present level of anxiety. And it's why I've never been able to relax on a vacation. I always look at a vacation as an opportunity to accomplish something like, okay, seven days in Mexico. Yes, you're going to have these things that you're going to do, but really you're doing this so that, A, you'll recharge your battery so that you can be fully charged at the top of the year and get all this stuff done. Or you're gonna take in some information that then you're going to be able to translate into something that you're going to accomplish. Or you're gonna have this moment

where your brain gets silent and then you come up with this great idea and then you get back and you tell Link about it. But I realized two things. One, the baseline of anxiety exists apart from circumstances. So that's the first thing that I'm, and then I try to come up with something to explain the anxiety. There's anxiety there that doesn't have a source other than just your disposition, and you need to explore that. And not define some event or something that you're anticipating, but to just acknowledge that, oh, you have this disposition. How can you go about addressing this baseline and change your baseline, which I don't exactly know yet. I'll talk a little bit about some of the stuff that I'm doing.

your baseline, which I don't exactly know yet. I'll talk a little bit about some of the stuff that I'm doing, but- But like low level anxiety is something that exists. It seems like that's what you're describing. But because for so long, my remedy to the anxiety has been identifying the problem, then immediately working towards a solution. I'm not very good at enjoying a vacation, right? And I'm also not very good at, and this is an overused term, being in the moment. And I've always known that, that I'm not great at being in the moment, but I didn't really understand what that meant. And I don't fully yet, but I'm beginning to think things like, you are about to go swim in a cenote, right? Swim in this cenote as well as you possibly can. Experience this as fully- Or only.

Yeah, yeah. Don't- Not as fully, but only. Yeah. Nothing else has to be figured out right now. You don't have to be thinking about anything. You don't have to be thinking about how all this thing's happening. I'm going to talk about it on Ear Biscuits, which has become a factor with a lot of things now. Mm-hmm.

But just be like, no, you're having this dinner right now. You're having this moment with Jesse right now. You're having this moment with your kid right now, whatever. It doesn't have to be on vacation. And being present for that um and just kind of uh recognizing the pattern and when you so when i feel the anxiety right now what i've been doing is just stopping and doing some box breathing which i know you're familiar with but you know you know, I mean, you can look it up, but it's essentially breathing in,

holding your breath, breathing out, holding your breath, and then repeating the process. Some people like call it Navy SEAL breathing. And it's actually been pretty transformative in just like the few weeks that I've been doing it. Really? So I'm just trying to break the pattern of like when I feel there's this low level of anxiety.

Chasing it. And I would be like, okay, well, what is that? Let me, there's, it's funny. It's like when I turn towards the sources of anxiety, there's like, it's like a bunch of little anxiety guys in a line, like here, I'm here. Hey, I'm here. And if like you move past him, it's like, oh, I'm here.

Like, there's, at any given time, and this is true of, I think, everybody, there's at least a dozen sources of anxiety. There's a, you know, the busier we get, the more sources there are. But then I started realizing, oh, actually, it's not about those things. Like, those things just happen.

I can address those things when I need to address them at the scheduled time that I need to address them. But kind of just saying, I'm going to put my hand up to the little anxiety guys lined up, and I'm just going to do something to address the physiological response that I'm having. So box breathing, again, it's not, I had to kind of get out of my head and thinking that I'm going to be able to address something, solve a problem and then reduce the anxiety and just be like, if there's a preexisting physiological thing that's happening in me that's causing anxiety, maybe there is a existing tool,

physiological tool in this box breathing that I can do that addresses it without having to bring in a problem to solve. And it has been pretty, it's been transformative. I've been doing it quite a bit. And then it'll be like, oh, you're calm now. That worked. And then also adding on the, and what are we doing right now? Can you enjoy that? And then realize that you'll get to all those little things that are lining up. You'll get to that. Well, I want to hear some of that breathing.

I want, not right now. I'm saying I want to hear you. I want to become aware that you're doing that when you need it. Well, then I feel like you're watching me. Oh, I'll be listening. But I told you that I've been doing more breathing. And then Christy was like, why do you keep doing that? What is that?

She started getting annoyed by it. Yeah. Well, because it sounds like you're sighing. Yeah, it's like, what's happening to you over there? You're like, are you disintegrating? Are you like flopping over? Well, all right, I'm going to co-op that as my rec, man. Try some box breathing.

Yeah, it's a good rec. I didn't have a rec for this episode and I knew it was mine. Boy, I've been anxious this whole episode about that. This has been fun to catch up. You know what? Mission accomplished. Let's close with some box breathing. You breathe in. Hold. One, two, three, four.

Exhale. One, two, three, four. Now hold. One, two, three, four. Oh my God! It's funny. That was one box. You do like six to eight of those.

Do as many as you want. I do find that there's all kinds of different versions of this, but one that I found was somebody that talked about doing a double breath. Because one of the things that you're doing, obviously, by doing this is like you're getting more oxygen because maybe without even noticing it, as you've been breathing shallower and shallower as you're anxious. But you're kind of like, you're getting more oxygen, you're clearing out the carbon dioxide. But a double breath, this is pretty interesting. So as you breathe in, if you breathe in and then you realize, I can actually breathe in again

quite a bit more than I just did. And like a second breath on top of your initial breath? That feels pretty amazing. It hurts. It hurts. I'm stretching my lung. All right. Makes you a little lightheaded, but it feels so good. Be a part of this conversation, hashtag Ear Biscuits, or in the comments on the YouTube video, which now comes out two days after.

Look at that. The audio version. Ear Biscuits is Monday, Wednesday. And, of course, call us and let us know how you're processing, reacting to these conversations. And, well, you know what we might just let everybody hear it 1-888-EAR-POD-1 hi i just wanted to share my experience with making a list of my top moments of the year

uh it's something uh that was obviously inspired by y'all your top moments of the year. It's something that was obviously inspired by y'all. Your top moments of the year is pretty much one of my favorite podcasts that y'all do every single year. I decided to start tracking in my phone my favorite things every single year and it was pretty awesome and it was really refreshing to have this list of my favorite days of the year that I could always kind of revisit in my phone and anytime I was going through a dry stretch where it was maybe a few weeks, maybe more than a month without one of those special days, I would be able to look at just how many there were in the past and know that there's plenty more amazing days in the future.

So it's a really rewarding experience. And I thank y'all for inspiring me to do that.