Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Rhett’s Creative Way to Deal with Annoying People | Ear Biscuits Ep. 450

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Lettuce or Lentils? In this episode, Rhett & Link find out how people are finding dates in Spain, go over the most ridiculous question asked in an interview, as well as ponder what exactly they’d ask their dogs, and a fun trick on dealing with annoying people that may enter your life. For a very limited time, shop the biggest sale of the year and find your forever cookware at https://hexclad.com/ear ! Get all 25 language courses for life at https://rosettastone.com/ear Get the best personalized gifts at https://www.etsy.com/gifts To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're going to be answering your questions about such things like. Such things like.

Like things such as, about things such as, like this, that I'm about to say. Well, say it then. I'll say it. Weird interview questions. Job interview questions. If you hate someone your friend is dating. Oh crap.

Oh crap. You know you've been there. Maybe you're there right now. And much more. But I have something that I want to show you. It is just another reminder or another reason, is just another reminder or another reason, no offense, Jenna, that I'm happy to be in a long-term relationship and not be dating.

And to have been in it for a long time. I get it, I get it. Is that what you're saying? My long-term partner, Jessie, shared this with me last night, and she was like, this is what they're doing in Spain. This is how they're dating in Spain. In Spain.

Yeah, yeah, so check this out, check this out. So exhausting living with a man. Okay, this is not it. That wasn't it. That wasn't it. You pull it up, something else. Living with a man. Yeah, I know it is, but that's not what.

The pineapple is changing the dating game in Spain. They're now using Tinder, Bumble, or any dating apps. They are going to a specific supermarket from seven to 8 p.m. Look at how many people show up to this supermarket. Oh. Por la cara de. So people that are trying to find love are going to this specific supermarket called Mercadona.

Now Mercadona is all over Spain so this is happening across the country and they are going from 7 to 8 pm. So how do you know who's looking for love? A single people they want to find their other half grab a pineapple, they put it upside down in their shopping cart. Okay, we put it like this? We are ready. Once you have the pineapple you head to the wine selection or the wine aisle. Prepare yourself! last forever in your pantry. But if you're looking for a one night stand type of thing, go buy lettuce because it goes bad quickly. So if you're in Spain right now, and you wanna find love,

head to Mercadona from seven to eight and see what happens. What? This is not real. So first of all, this is not real. First of all, let me just say, this is probably an incredible campaign for this supermarket. Yeah-hmm. Yeah!

However, I think it's wonderful. You think people are actually participating? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's really happening, but you think that there are... I have no way of knowing. You're not insane. It's just an Instagram video sent to me. But it got Jessie and I talking about just like,

why we were so glad that we don't have to date and like use dating apps and that kind of thing. But I think that there's something to this whole real world thing happening. And the fact that it's like, oh, in this country, at these supermarkets during this time, this is the system. And it's kind, oh, in this country, at these supermarkets, during this time, this is the system, and it's kind of like a speed dating kind of thing, but it's fun.

It's a fun little excursion. So let me see if I got this straight. If you're participating, you put a pineapple upside down on your cart, and then you go to the wine section in order to display whether you have lentils or lettuce. Well you have to crash the cart of somebody. And then you crash the cart into somebody. That's the part that I'm questioning.

The crashing of the cart. Like when do you actually talk to somebody? It feels unnecessary is what you're saying maybe. But if it's part, I guess that breaks the ice. Here's how you strike up a conversation, by striking your cart against the other person's. For some people, that's the hardest part, is beginning a conversation. I thought the pineapple thing was a swinger's thing. Yeah, the upside down pineapple is a swinger's thing.

So if you do that in the US, you're gonna... Well, in the US, it's gonna get confused. In a shopping cart? Well, I've seen it on, it's a lot of times a cruise thing that people will do. On their doors? Yes. Or on their person, like a.

Both. An upside down. Like a pineapple pen or an upside down pineapple pen? Upside down pineapple pen. And then they'll have pineapple decor on their door that'll be upside down as well. So yeah, but this is it. I think this is just a US thing.

So we have to come up with something different than an upside down pineapple here in the US. Otherwise people will think instead of singles, you're swingers. And is, right. Are they actually buying this stuff? I know this is just a technical bad question. I hope that they're buying this stuff.

But I feel like if you're gonna put a pineapple in your cart, you should buy it. And so then, because otherwise, there's a bunch of pineapples that get handled and then put back. So hopefully you're buying the things. That's what we care most about here, is the handling of the pineapples. Well, how does this strike you?

You know, like in terms of like that kind of real world setting versus the online process. I think that's really fun. I would love as designated time to go to the supermarket, also do my groceries and potentially find. A mate. Yeah. A one night stand. I don't know if I'd call it a mate.

You know, you're looking for a one night stand. A date. We're looking for dates, not mates. I can't even imagine... Yeah, would I want, I think I would wanna go, okay, here's my, I would wanna go to the wine section first, see what we're working with, and then after we've bumped our carts, after we've bumped our carts,

after we've bumped our carts, then I'll decide if I want the lettuce or the lentils. Oh, wine first. Wine first. Jenna's got the reverse approach to this. She hacked the system, I get it. Well, you should be an employee at this grocery store. Oh, all right, see you later.

I'm just pop over to Spain. That does seem fun to have it, you know, the gamification of dating, but also in real life. And you can get your shopping at the same time. And I just think there's being able to make the, the thing that seems to have been somewhat lost in the online dating world is really being able to make a judgment about somebody.

It's just so much harder to do based on a profile. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Are there dating profiles now that show, like you have video, right? You can still put video. Yes, uh-huh.

I think that's important. I don't think I would date anybody without some sort of video. Because you can manipulate photos so much. Right. And then, because what happens after you're interested in somebody that you've only seen their pictures, then you just start texting them? Is that what happens? That's not... you're not learning anything from that. Except their ability to text and flirt text.

I wanna see videos. I wanna see you do some real world stuff, like give me a little vlog. Do they have videos on the channel? Or calisthenic routine or something. Yeah, you can have video now. Hmm. The other thing that just blows my mind, it's just so, so far off of my radar,

is people basically publicly stating that they just wanna hook up with somebody once. Mm-hmm. I mean, that just... I guess it makes sense for you just putting your intentions out there and, you know, you match up with people who have the same intentions. But, I mean, it's not like I would go down the street saying, I'm looking for a... I'm just looking for some fun. I'm looking for a one-night stand. Well, you don't find those people on the street saying, I'm looking for some fun. I'm looking for a one-night stand.

Well, you don't find those people on the street. On the street. Usually. Unless you're paying for it. Yeah, there's specific, like bars and clubs is where usually those people lurk. I just think I'm bringing a lot of personal stigma of a one-night stand to this conversation. Yeah, don't shame that.

What I'm doing at this point. After I just said I'd decide after I see the guy. Yeah, yeah. I just can't imagine it. My perspective on that... It's so otherworldly to me. ...is that it's healthier... Have sex with somebody?

Hold on. It's healthier to communicate that that's what you want. I agree with that. And for both people to be on the same page... I totally get that. Rather than it to be like, what is this thing? Oh, you thought this, I thought that. Like, that's why the system of the lentils and the lettuce

or whatever you put in your dating profile makes sense. Lentils and the lettuce. But I do think a lot of this is a, I mean, I know a big part of the way that we think about it is just based on the level of power and gravity that we attached to sex in our old lives. Right. And I'm not saying it isn't a big deal.

I'm not saying it isn't a big deal. I'm not saying it isn't a big deal. But we were told things out of purity culture that essentially you're literally sharing your soul with somebody, like a little bit of your soul and a little bit of their soul, like intermingle, which is just such a weird thing to think. And that we were just like, okay, some pastor said that, so that must be true. But it's not exercise. It's not a yoga class, I agree with that. Here's what I'm trying to amend my, just trying to, the fact that I'm trying to figure out

what a one night stand is, it's not, I understand why people would wanna have a one night stand. I think it's the stigma that I'm still kinda carrying because I have nothing to do with this. You know, I just don't think about it that often. Is that it's illicit. It's illicit. But it's not illicit.

It's something that you just put on your profile and it's something that if you're too consenting adults, it's just something that you can do, I guess. You can tell how little I thought about this. But I do think, isn't the illicit... Okay. So it's not necessary. Is it... But the illicit nature...

Is the one I stand always illicit? Well, but is the illicit nature of it part of... Part of the fun of it? Right. It's like, I don't know who this person really is, but I know that I want to have sex with them. In a hypothetical, non-personal sense, I'm't know who this person really is, but I know that I want to have sex with them. In a hypothetical, non-personal sense, I'm asking to y'all. Okay. What is... do people nowadays, when they're dating and they say they just want to

hook up, it's just like matter of fact. It's not anything to feel shame or like embarrassment or sneaky about. Right, yeah. Up front and honest, always the best option. But it's normal. Yeah. It's just a part of culture. Yeah, say it up front. I think it's always been normal, it's just we were never a part of that culture.

Okay, yeah, that's what it is. And then we got married, and we've been married for 25 years. So, it's just this whole world that I completely don't understand. And have never been able to relate to. And I'm talking about dating. Right? So it's... I don't know, it's just, that's really why I think you and Jessie were saying, I can't imagine having to figure all of that out. It's, cause it's, there's so much to it.

It's exhausting, yeah. It has to be exhausting. It has to be exhausting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just like, I mean, even, I've just found myself lately, even when I have an option to go do something, I'm just like, I kinda just wanna be at home. It's just like watch something on TV, you know?

So if you had to actually date somebody, it would never happen. Well, no, I mean, if I was forced to, if I was single, If you were single, you would be motivated. If I was single again, I would be dating. I'm not saying I would, I'm not one of those people that's like, if I'm ever single again, I'm never dating.

No, of course, I would be dating somebody. I just would not be, the only thing that I would be enthusiastic about is making a connection with a person. But I would not be excited about all of the things that go along with whatever you have to engineer to make a connection with somebody. The systems.

Because I hate that stuff. The culture around it, yeah. I hate it, you know? And it's just like, and also you have to represent yourself. Now, this is one of the things that we would be, the fact that we have represented ourselves so thoroughly on the internet,

like our dating profile is essentially irrelevant if we ever have a dating profile, because it's just like, I've talked for hours and hours and hours, so many hours on the internet, too much, honestly, but it's how we make a living. And so it would just be like, I don't need to tell you what I'm into. I don't need to say anything.

It's just like, just Google a little bit. And then if you're still interested, then let's talk. You know what I'm saying? So if we were single and we were trying to date, we couldn't show up on, it would be weird to show up on a normal dating app, right? Is that, that's why Raya exists. But I'm hearing that Raya is not great.

It isn't great. What's the word on Raya? Why isn't it great? Raya, it's, it's fine. It's fine, it's not great. It's just a lot of... If you see a celebrity on there, you're not surprised though.

You're not surprised when you see a celebrity. But there's gotta be a new Raya, right? Because the whole idea of Raya, as far as I understood it, was an exclusivity, right? Uh-huh. And so, but once you start letting a lot of people in, it becomes less exclusive. It's just like the cool club in town,

you have to then create the new one. And that's been years, so there's gotta be a new Raya that's not being talked about, but certain people know about it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's gotta be the case, right? I think the issue with Raya is that no one ever meets up. Like, you'll make matches

and have little mini conversations, maybe, but you don't really hear about people actually getting together and going out. Because they're celebrities? Everyone's so busy or I guess celebrities, I don't know why. Celebrities just messing around. Maybe, maybe.

Ben Affleck ended up. Yeah. You could also just do like a dating service thing too. Oh. You have to do the apps. Like a matchmaker? Yeah, you can hire a matchmaker.

What, that's still a thing? Oh yeah. Yes it is, uh-huh. Do you not watch Indian Matchmaker? Well, okay. Yeah, but I assumed it was just for Indians. There's lots of different matchmakers. Mm-hmm.

It's like a real estate agent. And so everybody... So it's like you sign up, everybody... If you're working with this matchmaker, then that's the pool that this matchmaker's working with. They're not like making posts on your behalf. Like putting flyers on light poles and stuff. No, they're like, I have someone I would like you to meet based on, it's like a travel agent for dating. Yeah. That exists for sure.

I see that'll be much more palatable for you all than trying to navigate the apps. A concierge service. Do this for me. Maybe it comes with a credit card. Deliver me a date. Maybe if you get the right credit card, it's an automatic perk. Yeah.

I need a reservation. You get a dating concierge. I need a reservation at, what's that, sushi place in Malibu? Nobu. Nobu. I need a reservation at Nobu, and I would like someone to be there when I show up. Oh my God.

That's an escort. That's an escort. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no! What are you saying? American Express would never! With me! No, they would not.

So yeah, I'm glad I'm married. I'm so glad I'm married. Sorry, y'all. I'm not offended. Ha ha ha! Let's get into some voicemails after I share with you that the Sporked Awards is happening, and you can be a part of this. Of course, Sporked is our one-stop shop for shopping at grocery stores, knowing what to get. Get the right stuff. And so what are they

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All right, hit us with a voicemail. Hi, Breton Link. This is Stephanie. I wanted to call in because I recently found myself in a situation during an interview where I got asked a question and I kind of froze. So I was wondering what you guys think I maybe should have answered any of that. The question was, if you had to remove a color of a rainbow, which would it be and why? And I literally said orange, because I think I don't look good in it.

Literally so embarrassed. Would really appreciate to hear what you guys think I should have said instead. Thank you, love you both, bye. That was a great answer. Well, it definitely was honest, and if it was quick, at least it was quick. Now, she said job interview or business interview. I think she said business interview. Yeah, just an interview. I would say that those are different.

I know, but I just couldn't quite understand what she said. Business interview, I think is what she said. First of all, what business do they have asking this question? Why are they asking such a cockamamie off the wall? I mean, is the business that she's applying to work for, like the rainbow maker? No, no. It's the rainbow color remover company. Known for removing colors from

rainbows. They gotta know which ones, so they gotta know what the candidates think. Why? So, well, how big did it start? This is a dumb... Was the rainbow huge? You're right. This is a dumb question. This is a dumb question. But why, so why are they asking this dumb off the wall question

in order to assess... Well, if you were hiring somebody for a, like an improv role, it could be like, oh, let's see if they say something funny to this question. Right. Being able to think quickly on your feet, I guess. Being able to keep it in a high-pressure environment where you're being judged. That's what every question is, though. You know? I just don't believe in that type of question. I do believe there is a correct answer to this question. Oh, you mean you believe there's a correct answer?

Is that what you said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you say business interview? Or job interview? I think there's a correct answer to the question about the rainbow and it's indigo. Oh man, you're going after indigo? Well then I, hold on man, I'm gonna go after violet.

Well, I like indigo. Yeah, but violet's basically purple. But violet sounds almost like violence. When you get to the end of the rainbow, you have this blue to purple spectrum, and then we got really confused about halfway between blue and purple, and it's a color that no one ever talks about, no one ever uses.

You don't even know the difference between blue and purple. Every time we play the cornhole game on GMM, you get them confused. They're too close. Personally, I'm a purple guy. I love purple. It's my favorite color this year. And you're just calling that violet. And I'm saying that that's violet. So we don't know what indigo is. It's that place... It's in between purple and blue. It's on the spectrum.

When you don't know what a color is, in you go between blue and purple. That's why they call it that. Indigo. I might be wearing an Indigo sweater. No you're not, are you? Indigo is a lighter purple, I assume, because then it's just blue, Indigo, and then violet is a darker purple. Well, let's look this up. And is black a color of the rainbow?

No. No. Black's not a part of the visual spectrum of the rainbow, because it's all light colors, right? Yes, yes, yes. And white, see the company already removed black. Black is technically every color. And white is the?

None of them, the absence of. The company removed both of those. And now they're hiring, apparently. I took an art class. To remove even more. Indigo. Well, I'm telling you right now, that's purple. I mean, I am upset that they made that...

Roy G. Biv, I guess it was Roy G. You need to keep the indigo rep because that's a vowel. Roy G. Bivy. That sounds gross. It is gross. You gotta keep the I. You gotta keep that vowel. You can get rid of the violet. Roy G. Bye. Well, that's what we want.

We want the rainbow to be bye! Roy G. Bye! That's it! It never gets purple enough at the end, though. I mean, it's so queer. Might as well embrace the bi-ness as part of that. Can I just say that people making decisions on the internet to represent things is so unreliable.

So look at this. This one shows blue and then purple, which they're calling indigo, and then violet is almost pink. And then this one, blue and then purple, which they're calling indigo, and then violet is almost pink. And then this one, blue is a lighter blue, indigo is a darker blue, and then you have purple. Which is basically the same thing on this one. Light blue, dark blue. Indigo, dark blue. But then look at this one. Violet gets even darker! And indigo is basically a light purple in between. And then look at this one! Indigo is basically a light purple in between.

And then look at this one. Indigo is almost black. There is no rhyme or reason to this. This is why it's so confusing. Don't work for this company. We need blue and purple. If they're offering you the job, don't take it because they're not doing a good job.

The rainbow company is just, they need to get their act together. They need to take a little hiatus and figure it out. I have another acceptable answer. If you're, okay, okay. What about oi-gee-bib? My theory is that these questions are being asked, somebody is generating these questions to ask

and hack people or using them in their interviews because they can't think of better questions. So you wanna be ready for this. I think that my other answer is an acceptable one that we need to get rid of Indigo because it's unnecessary, but I think a better answer would be, listen, in order to get rid of a color of the rainbow, I would have to change the laws of physics, which would probably cause the entire universe to break down because all the rainbow is is a light spectrum. So if you want me to play God right now and destroy the room that we're in

and everything in the entire universe, I'll answer your question. But I prefer not to destroy everything. I just want a fucking job. And you know what that is? That's the type of guy that everybody loves to work with. Hire that man. No, that's a problem solver is what that is.

Thank you for coming in today, sir. Next question. I'll be like, why do you ask? I mean, I think that's honest. If you can remove one color from the rainbow... Why do you ask? Why do you ask? Well, because it's on a list of questions I have to ask. Why do you ask? Is that having anything to do with what you am gonna be doing for you?

Am I gonna be the guy who has to remove that color? Because I'm not signing up for this. I'm not gonna be the guy that just squished the rainbow by a color. The only person who's gonna be happy about that is apparently you. You're gonna make enemies left and right if you're shortening the rainbow.

What are the leprechauns gonna stink? Stink. The leprechauns are gonna stink if you the rainbow. What are the leprechauns gonna stink? Stink. The leprechauns are gonna stink if you do this. What are the leprechauns gonna stink? They're gonna put up a stink. You know, you cannot. You cannot, don't fall for that unless, I mean, you better be getting paid a lot. But I think you...

You better have retirement money if you're sitting there altering the rainbow. You actually answered the question pretty well. You answered the question pretty well. I mean, I think that... It was a little self-centered. You shouldn't be embarrassed. You shouldn't... It was a little self-centered. You shouldn't be embarrassed. A little self-centered.

Next question. Hi, I'm Karen from Connecticut. I'm listening right now to Ear B now what I'm what I've been Saying to myself in the car as I'm listening to this your biscuit. Yeah, okay You gotta be kidding me What? You gotta be kidding me. What? Oh my god! Okay. Scene. Anyway, love you guys. Take care. Bye. This was from just listening to me talk about it? Of course, dude! You rocked the Ear Biscuiteer listenership. But then I showed it on the video.

Yes, listening and then showing it. People are like, you ruined my day. You know? I mean, you planned, and then for those who saw it, you've ruined, you might have ruined a lot. Because there's an image planted in there of gunk squirting out of your eyelids. I did to give a warning, you know. I put a warning in the video too. There was plenty of opportunities to look away.

I'm like, skip to here if you would like. Well, apparently a lot of people who needed to didn't, because their days or lives have been ruined. If you watched it, after that you chose to watch it and then it ruined your day, that's on you. I put a warning. That's on you. Meanwhile, you're doing better.

I am. Update, have you gone back again. Meanwhile, you're doing better. I am. Update, have you gone back again? No, I go back two weeks from now. Have you been attempting to do it yourself? I sent the episode to, no. I sent the episode to my doctor. Oh, you did? And he replied, well, check it out, he's so busy.

He's so busy. How can he watch videos when he's squeezing eyeballs? Yeah, and the message back was at like midnight. Oh. I mean, he's just working hard. You up? Yeah, so. So no apologies from you.

No, definitely. I, in fact, you're welcome to the people who were like, you know, thanks for telling me about this. I did see somebody say that I was getting ripped off, you know, which I don't know how I'm getting ripped off considering that I'm seeing results. Maybe all of it's not necessary is what you're saying, but I don't know, I'm doing it all, man.

I'm doing it all, give me all the treatments you got. You can afford to be a little ripped off. Right. I mean, if it's working, it's working. Right. You know, you have that luxury. I don't know which individual thing is working best, but I know I'm feeling, I mean, I'm doing a lot better.

I'm happy. Rhett, you look like a million bucks. I literally was in the eye region. Looking at, I was in the bathroom here at Mythical and we had shot something and I was just like, I like looked at myself in the mirror, just checking things and I was like, this is really like, it is really had an impact.

I was like, man, I was in a place where I thought, what was I gonna do for the rest of my life? You know, I do think that if you got some nagging thing, it's best to be your number one advocate is yourself. And I've started noticing it in media personalities. Oh, that their eyes are red? You gonna start reaching out to people? Well, okay, so I saw...

You're gonna be the eye squeezer concierge? I don't watch NFL football on a regular basis, but I saw a clip, and it was Troy Eagman, you know, former Dallas Cowboys. Oh, I can picture his eyelids being all puffed. Well, his eyes are super, super red, and they were so red on the broadcast, his eyes are super, super red. They were so red on the broadcast that I was like,

ooh, bro, you didn't use some kind of, I would always use drops, right? Right, maybe you could call it. But then I was like, oh, he's definitely got dry eyes. I mean, there's lots of things that can cause red eyes, but I just immediately was like, man, I feel your pain. But then I go on social media and see that everyone is talking about his eyes.

And I'm like, bro, I understand. Clearly he has the resources to go and I don't know what if he's had a look. And then I'm watching basketball the other night and I don't know his name, but like the coach, I think it's the coach from the Phoenix Suns. I like look at his eyes. I was like, oh. Herbert.

I'm like dry eyes, man. Dry eyes. You're seeing it everywhere. You're seeing it everywhere. It's that phenomena once you're exposed to something. Like if you're... You get a certain car. If you're looking for a car, we always forget what it's called. But like once it's on your radar, you see it everywhere. And otherwise, you can be completely blind to it.

And I'm seeing people and I'm like, man, you're suffering. And again, I know that not everybody can address it. I'm not saying they're not trying to. But Troy Aikman could. But you see it in your... Well, no, but I'm saying that sometimes people do all this stuff and it doesn't help. Oh.

Trust me, I've been on Reddit. I've been to the dry eye subreddit. Oh, snap. Well, let's get another... Not a happy place. Let's get another voicemail. Oh. Trust me, I've been on Reddit. I've seen the... I've been to the dry eye subreddit. Oh snap. Well let's get another... Not a happy place. Let's get another voicemail. Good work though.

Hi, Ren Link. I'm Lexi. I'm from Victoria, Canada. And basically my problem that I was hoping to get advice with is my dearest best friend, who I love very, very much, is dating a guy that I cannot stand. Like I hate the guy. Whenever we're all together in a group, I just fight with her boyfriend the whole time. And other people that I'm close with also agree. He's very condescending, very rude. I just, I do not like him.

And I've recently moved away from my best friend, and she wants to come visit me over the holidays, but she wants to bring her boyfriend, and I do not want her to bring her boyfriend here, and I think I've made it very clear that I do not like him. So I don't know what to do. Let me know if you have any advice. Love y'all. Mm.

I think this is pretty common. It has to be, you know? Sure. You love somebody, they're your close friend, but hey, they're interested in people just because they like you. They can also like people who you don't like. Maybe you're too much alike.

I wonder if there's a little bit of that happening. She's too much like her friend? Too much like the guy? Yeah. Well, she said that he was condescending, and that multiple people didn't like him. That's the clencher for me, is that multiple friends are vouching for her. I just don't know how you have a best friend, and she said she knows that

I can't stand the guy. But is that just like from vibes? Or have you had a conversation about it? I think the invitation is an opportunity because of course, as we've established again and again, it's our mantra, it's pretty new but it's our mantra. Don't talk about it. You know, don't just find a way to talk through things and, you know, find a way forward through, you know, collective brainstorming with your best friend.

Don't do that. Make it fun. Make this fun. And, yeah, make the guy you don't like a little bit of the victim. I think if he's gonna come down there, you've got quite an itinerary planned, and everything is full of two-seaters. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And she's coming to visit you and bringing him, so one of the two of them is always gonna be with you,

and it's probably gonna be her, right? So he's kicked to the curb. You know what? They only have two seats on this paddle boat. They're paddle boating during Christmas? Where do these people live? Well, if they're coming out here to LA, it works. Of course, the Echo Park Swans. They go like, they... That could be five people.

I think we have five people, but like... Or you put a whoopee cushion in his seat. I don't know how you... I'm trying to... what's some two-seater stuff? I did this little cute car tour thing. It was like this little go-kart type thing with two wheels in the front and one wheel in the back, and it was an open cab thing. And me and Christy did it with another couple a couple years ago. And it was a sunrise ride around LA that ended up at the

Griffith Park Observatory to watch the sunrise. That's too early, man. It was very cold, but it was super cool, and it was just a little two-seater. And you're riding around with a helmet and goggles, and like bundled up with... It was just... It was fun. Maybe you make him go on that by himself, and you don't get up. It was fun, but like he couldn't do it,

or he'd have to be in another car. What's another two-seater thing? Maybe a horse and carriage. I think if you're just Googling that, you're gonna get all the two-seater stuff, and then he's gonna be, you know gonna get all the two-seater stuff and then he's gonna be, you know what? You can be at this coffee shop while we're doing this

and then you can be over here while we're doing this and you know what, maybe you just, maybe you just don't come, you know? Just let him say that, you know what, you just go on without me the whole trip. Well, maybe you do all the two-seater reservations ahead of time and then you tell her, like-seater reservations ahead of time. Mm-hmm. And then you tell her, like, I've got a lot of stuff planned for us.

Unfortunately, everything that I plan is just for two people. It's the two-seater itinerary. And so I... That's how we do things in our town. I'm sorry, but it seems like he's gonna have to figure out something to do. Made reservations at this place that you're gonna love. But they only take two people. They only take two.

And if he's a smoker, you say, well, and it's in the non-smoking section. Right. I don't know if that still happens anywhere in the world or at least in America, but I miss that. No, I don't. I miss saying non-smoking. I don't know, it just felt like I was going into a club

and I was kinda, I had a designated area. It feels special to have- Usually you don't, you didn't have to designate non-smoking. You had to designate that you wanted the smoking section. Smoking or not. That's what they would say. Yeah, they would say that at some places. What do you wanna do to kick this guy to the curb?

I like the two-seater plan, but it seems like it might be impractical and it might, if she resisted all at the very beginning, if your friend resists this, then you're kind of screwed if that's all you got. So I think that one- Well, it's one idea. So I think that one of the ways to deal

with difficult people in difficult situations in general is to gamify them in a way that literally makes you feel like you're in a game. So you know how, I mean, and I do this, I play this little mind trick on myself sometimes where I might be going through something difficult, a difficult circumstance, facing a challenge that seems insurmountable. Okay.

And I just say something to myself like, well, this is the point in the game, or this is the point in the movie in which all hope is lost because we have to have this to make things interesting in order for things to turn around. Okay, so this is what makes a good story. It's a narrative.

And the story is your life. It's a narrative. So this is... I turn my situation into a narrative, of which I am the main character. Yeah, this is main character energy adjacent. Then it helps me get through certain situations because it's just like, oh, if the movie was me

just enjoying everything and getting everything that I wanted and never having any resistance and succeeding at everything that I tried, it would be the most boring movie there's ever been. And I'm watching the movie happen as I'm in it, right? So you need these things. You need to grow.

Your character needs to change from the beginning into the end. And so you need things like this to encounter. It could be a murder mystery. Who killed my best friend's boyfriend? That's a little extreme. But what you can do when you're about to encounter somebody like this... Now, first of all, if you're like... If you have a conversation and you say, I don't like him and I don't want him to come, that is obviously one route that you could take. But if you're like, okay, I do wanna see my friend

and the only circumstance in which I can see my friend is if she brings her boyfriend, then I think you have to create some sort of mission that you have, which is I'm not gonna just let this guy come into my life and ruin a series of days for me, but I know that he's basically the villain in this Christmas movie that I'm making

over the next couple of weeks. Do you know what I'm saying? And I think that it's actually, I don't know what you do with that. And people usually don't die in a Christmas movie. I don't know what you do with that, but if it's just, there's an annoying person in this movie and it happens to be my best friend's boyfriend,

that can be kind of funny, right? Because you would put a character like that into a situation. So it's a way of kind of approaching life with a lightness. Well, that particular part of it, I think there's something to that. I like the story of my life thing. Embracing whatever hardship comes in, whatever's not exactly what you desire as any part of a

good story. I do like that. That's a good thing to think about. The other thing that you made me think about, I forgot, but I'm gonna remember it, because I'm gonna keep thinking about it. What's the last thing you said? The last thing you said was... What's the last thing you said? I said an annoying person can be... could be an entertaining... Yes! I like that too, because... If you are... if they're getting under your skin, there's just a... If you can pivot your reaction...

To fascination. To fascination and curiosity, or just amusement. Like, just like, laugh at, maybe silently. Silently laugh at his ability to be annoying. Yeah, honestly, I do this. Oh my gosh, like if he's a character in a movie, he's written that way, and you justending. Honestly, I do this. Oh my gosh, if he's a character in a movie, he's written that way, and you just find it funny, as if you're watching it.

If there's somebody who always, every time you start telling a story, they interrupt and start telling a story that it made them think of or whatever, I'm not saying that's you. I know people like that, and when I know that I'm gonna be around a person like that, I make a choice to observe that with a sense of curiosity and

fascination and not annoyance. And I'm like, I'm telling a story. I know at some point this person is going to take what I'm saying and make it about something that happened to them. And when that happens, I'm like, ding, there it is. Interesting. And it becomes much less annoying to me, because I know that it's gonna happen, and now I'm just sitting around like a scientist observing, I'm an anthropologist observing this person. And I think that the catchphrase of interesting is a good one. Whenever somebody says something condescending to you, or just like, interesting.

If so, when somebody is insulting you or trying to embarrass you, if you let it penetrate you and you absorb it and they can see that they got what they were going for. Don't let your best friend's boyfriend penetrate you. Yeah, that's rule number one. Interesting. But if, you don't have to,

I mean saying interesting could be interesting, or it could just simply be a slight cock of the head and I'm just kinda looking at somebody like, you're... A fascination. As if there's a glass between you and him. You're observing them. Yeah. Yeah. You pull out your notepad and write something down. Yeah. And you can walk away. What a douche.

He is trapped. What a douche. He is trapped on the other side of the glass, but you can walk away. I think they call it... That could be you going to the bathroom. And your girlfriend can come with you and y'all can stay there for as long as you want because culture dictates that that's what you can do.

There's actually a name for this. It's called, it's like detached observance or something like that. Buddhism. No, there's literally a name. I do know what you're talking about. That when you get into a situation with a difficult person and you are no longer have a goal with them and you're detaching yourself from the outcomes

and you're observing them with curiosity, it's a much better way to live with difficult people for sure. Carrier clipboard? I mean, I have been doing that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we got that one. Boy, some of them, I always feel great about

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Do you do it because for me personally I've done some crazy shit in front of my dog that I do not want people to know about. So love to hear what you guys have to say about that and I would love to know what conversation you would have with your dog for the first time if you could talk to it. Love you guys so so so much. You are one of the if not the favorite part of my day. Thank you so much and hope I get to hear what you would do if you could talk to your dogs. I think that Barbara and Sean would have a lot to say, Rhett.

Thanks, love you guys. You didn't have a lot to say. Jane Jasper wouldn't have to say anything to me, according to her. You have sex in front of your dogs, don't you? I would. That's not my objective. But sometimes it does happen. My dogs are detached observers of me and Jesse having sex. Interesting, that's what I would be saying.

They break out their clipboards. I mean that would be pretty cool if you're having sex in front of your dogs and they're just like, interesting, yes, very interesting, interesting. Interesting. Barbara's a lot smarter than Shawn, it's just she knows when it's about to happen and she jumps off the bed and gets into the the kennel thing and then Shawn goes in

there with her and then they watch us but my dogs don't but they look away most of the time they look they look away there's a first oh they're doing that thing and then they stop and I never make eye contact with them during the act good to hear good so I actually don't think I would talk to them about that. I know what I would ask Sean. I would be like, bro, what happened to you before we got you? I'd be like, I'm all ears, man.

I would sit down with, I'll take as much time as you need to tell me what the hell happened to you in the two years before you showed up. Oh gosh, yeah, cause he was a little damaged emotionally. And it's crazy the transformation that he has experienced and how it continues to unfold over the course of these years.

But I'm just like, hey man, tell me your war stories. I gotta know, I gotta know what happened. What have you been through? Jasper has a little bit of that. If I touch, if anybody, I mean, he's skittish around people that he doesn't know. But even if I, much less anybody, touches a part of his hind leg, just graze it, he just yelps into fear. A specific leg or any back leg? Both back legs. And I'd be afraid to ask him, because it would be so hard for him. Even if you're petting him and then you went down to the back leg, it would happen?

Or if you just touched back leg first and he doesn't know what's happening? Either way. Wow. But sometimes I've gotten him super calm, and it's not like he's sensitive. What I've done is sometimes I get him in a super calm place and I will touch all the way down his leg, like dee-doo-doo-doo-doo,

just try to see if there's any actual injury and there's not. It's not pinpointed. It's emotional. It's definitely emotional. Like, he can, it's not pinpointed. It's emotional. It's definitely emotional. I mean, I would wanna ask Jade, like,

how does she feel about the walks? Because every morning I take the dogs on a walk and I would, Jasper really wants to go and Jade never wants to go. And I just wanna, and I just wanna know, and I also wanna know, why do you... What are you eating when nobody's around that you have a stomach ache, like, once a week? What are you finding?

Come on now, tell me. What is it? And I would love to be able to communicate to her... Okay. Because I don't think she knows. When you eat this, it makes you sick. Do not eat, do not sneak into the bathroom with the kitty litter. We had to put it up on a shelf because they went in there and they started eating every little prize they could find. Oh, God.

But now we elevated the kitty litter thing where they can't get up to it and the cat jumps up there and does his business. But if there's any little morsels that fall of the kitty litter, I think she's going in there munching those. And I just want to be able to tell her, this is why you're sick now. Because 12 hours ago, you were eating this stuff again. She might get it in the moment, but as soon as she loses the ability to talk, she'd probably go back to just being a dog after that. Because I would like to ask Shawn to be like,

hey, when you bark at things, like when someone is walking in front of our house, and you get up there and you bark at them. What are you saying? Like why? Like do you think that I don't know that they're there? Do you think that I should know? Do you think that they need to know?

That you know that they're there? Yeah, we need to clear that up. There's nothing, you're accomplishing nothing. Because I need to say, I do think that this would be a useful skill. Like if you hear something at night, like when we're sleeping, if you think somebody's at the house or whatever, you bark then.

But during the day when we're just doing something, we don't need it, man. We don't need what you're doing. You're providing, it's not a service. It's actually, it's an annoyance. But see, this is the appeal of dogs, is that there's a communication barrier, but yet there's a super strong connection. And that's why training is such a fascinating thing,

because it is a form of communication across species. And if you removed that challenge, I think you removed the reward of the connection. Then it's just a furry person? It's just a furry person. And there's a group of people who are into that. And what if they're real, I mean, what if they say some disappointing stuff? What if we're misinterpreting everything?

Oh gosh, what if they hate us? I know, I wouldn't know what to do. I wish you had never brought me home. Oh, that would be bad. You know, they have the cognitive ability, I have been told. They have the, my understanding is they have the cognitive ability of like a toddler-ish,

or a little bit older. And they have the emotional intelligence of a teenager. I don't know exactly what that means, but the emotional intelligence of a teenager. That's not great though. But they're super confused. But I just think that- Teens.

And I could be wrong about what I just said, but their emotional intelligence, like their connection with you is much more significant than their ability to problem solve in a way that you can't as a human. If I could talk to my dog in English, I would start telling him things that would undermine the beauty of them being a dog, like what we're about to do. Like, I always think about the fact that my dogs never know what's about to happen. But, especially Jasper, is always up for it.

Like, he always wants to go with me. And then we get in the... and I can tell when I put Jade in the car, she's like, where are we going? What, uh... You know, I would like to be able to put her at ease a little bit. Right. But most of the time, they're not nervous about stuff, and it's just a beautiful thing to just take life as it hits you. You know, no planning, no thought, no forethought. Oh, we're here. Huh. Oh, we're here.

Yeah. I didn't know where we were going. Here it is. They don't even know the concept of going, really, right? They just know the concept of being. Right. Yeah, I don't wanna take that away from them by telling them what to expect. Well, just being able to talk to them,

they probably still wouldn't understand the concept. They could just tell you what they're thinking in the moment. Like those dogs that step on the little pads and communicate. I have heavy suspicion of this. Oh yeah? I don't know.

I mean, I know nothing about it. And so I could definitely be wrong. But I've seen the videos and it just feels like maybe what we're getting is we're getting the little slice of those interactions in which it seemed to make sense. But what is not uploaded to TikTok and Instagram

is all the times that the dog made no sense at all. That seems like that could be the case. You know what I mean? We're seeing a slice. Yeah, it's called editing. And if I could go and hang out with that dog who's got this soundboard to communicate all these complex ideas,

and I could see it happen reliably, then I would change my mind. But that's not what I'm seeing. I'm seeing snippets. I'm with you on that. And are you with me on this? I don't want to hear what my dogs are thinking. You know? I would rather infer it, because I'm believing the best. Even if it is just the best. Like, if it's just like...

I think it would be a constant, I love you, I wanna be with you, I love you. I wanna sleep in the bed, I don't wanna sleep in my bed, I wanna sleep in your bed. And it would just be like a constant... It would get annoying. Pet me, pet me again, because I love you so much. It's like, okay, yeah, I know you love me so much, but like, you don't have to keep saying it. I can't stop saying it. Now that you've unlocked the ability for me to say it, that's all I can say.

Yeah, it would get old fast. Like Up. Like Up would have been a much better movie without that talking dog. Whoa! What would happen at that point? Ho, ho, ho, ho, okay, okay. You just really crossed a line. Mm-hmm. And probably the old guy. Okay. The dog may have gotten the biggest laughs of the whole movie is from the dog. Well, come at me. All Alright, let's have one more.

Howdy Rhett and Link. My name is Jacob. I'm 23, well, I'm turning 24 soon on November 16th. So wish me happy birthday if you want. Happy birthday. I have a very, very important question for you guys. So please take this seriously. Would you rather every time you open any car door, a chicken spawns and is trying to kill you until you kill it first? Or once a year at random,

an orangutan spawns trying to kill you until you kill it first? Again, this is very serious. That's definitely a right answer. Okay, love you, bye. What am I missing? Because this seems very simple to me. An orangutan killer.

I mean, first of all, you can't be tussling with an orangutan. No, a chicken can't kill me. I don't care how much practice it has had. I bet you, I mean, every time you open a car door, I mean, it's a numbers game at that point to find a chicken who might kill you. And that's interesting.

I'm curious, I'd hang out with you if it was only attacking you. So if I had a chicken. This is the one that's gonna peck you in just the right spot. If I had a chicken who was like a really aggressive chicken coming talons first, beak first. You could lose an eye, certainly.

But I know it's happening every single time and it's a new chicken who can't learn lessons and learn how to fight me. So I kind of know how they behave. I take the thing, I catch it, I wring its neck and I've got dinner basically every single day. Oh my gosh, you have so much dinner. I could donate it to somebody.

It reminds me of like at the beginning of the Walking Dead zombie apocalypse. They didn't know how the hell they were gonna handle these zombies. And then, of course, you stop watching it, and then you're walking, you're flipping channels, or you're walking through a place, and oh, that Walking Dead show's still happening, and look at what they do to these zombies now. It's just this nonchalant, poke, they'll just, you know, poke them in the brain like it's nothing. I think... Really? That's happening now?

Oh yeah. By the... just a few months, within a few weeks, you would be getting out of the car and just effortlessly killing that chicken. Like, you would have a chicken killing cane. Foop! There you go. Anybody want a chicken? Fresh! Right. And you just leave it. Or you'd have a truck and you'd throw it

in the back in the fridge. You would become a master of this procedure. Yeah, you would be so good at it. But on the other hand, And if you'd be waiting for an orangutan to show up once a year, you'd live a life of fear in an imminent death. This is a horrible scenario. And let me say, I love orangutans show up once a year. You live a life of fear and... This is a horrible scenario. ...imminent death.

And let me say, I love orangutans. Come on, say the G, man. Don't be ashamed. There is no G. Just say it, though. It's better. There needs to be a G. I love them. What do you call them again? Orangutan. Orangutan. That's not how it's said, I don't think.

It is how it's said. Put a G on the end of orangutan. That's what, that's my... No, that's how we said it growing up when we didn't know. That's what, that's what I want out of this. That's what I want out of life. If I can change anything, it's put a G on the end of orangutan. You can have the G.

But have you like watched, have you watched a video of them? They all look aged. They look so wise and there's big cheeks. Even if they're young. And there's the eyes. There's a- It's like Benjamin Button- There's this one video of somebody going by a riverbank and he's just kinda sitting there on the riverbank

like grabbing stuff from a tree or whatever and just sort of looking sort of a little bit sad and a little bit thoughtful. I just love him. I just wanna be their best friend, but I'm not gonna try to bring him into my life in that way. And I would, I mean, it would kill you really easily. It could just snap your neck.

It could yank your arm off and just beat you to death with it. But I actually don't think that they, I don't think that they would. But if, A chimpanzee is not an orangutan, is not a gorilla. If it had to. If it had to. Oh, they would, but I think that like,

if you fall into, like, if you fall into the chimp enclosure at the zoo, bad news, right? Bad news. If you fall into the gorilla enclosure at the zoo? Bad news, right? Bad news. If you fall into the gorilla enclosure at the zoo, could be real bad. Probably not. But probably not.

That's why they should have never shot Harambe. I mean, I think about it every day. But orangutans, they are dangerous, I believe. I'm super strong, but I just, I think that they would be like. No, I think that they can be dangerous. I'm sure they would be, but they're not baboons. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I just think that they would be like interesting. Okay, so you're, are you moving to Team Tang? No, no, I'm still on Team Chicken because he said under the circumstance that it would be trying to kill me. And so now we have an orangutan that was trying to kill me and I don't want that. And to your point of how much you love them,

it's just, it'd be hard to kill them. I don't wanna kill it. And how, you know, with a cane? There's not that many of them. You're poking it with a chicken cane? There's not that many of these things left. Good luck with that. I saw a story of an orangutan using a plant to heal its face.

Did you see this story? No. It had a wound. Like a aloe plant? It had a nasty ass wound on its face. And they were like first known observed medicinal use of plants by another species, I don't know, this species or. Okay.

He literally. So he's a doctor. He knew exactly, and he healed himself, man. Dr. O. And he just looked so wise, he was like, of course I know this, of course I know how to do this. Why is this so surprising to you? That's interesting. Yeah, it's so easy to kill chickens.

I mean, it would be like, you could do it in your sleep. You could do it in your sleep. Yeah. Or you could just crawl out of windows. Roll your window down, just hop on out. Ha, foiled chickens. He's like, okay, well, I'll try next time. Well, no, because then next time you get in the car,

there'll be another chicken. It'll be, now you gotta kill two. Oh, no, they don't keep, you know, you didn't. If you don't kill the chicken, it adds another one the next time you get to the car. But you didn't open the car door. It was just lined up for you to open the car door. I don't know how the rules work.

I could, I probably could walk away unscathed from a dozen chickens that wanna kill me. Just, I mean, just kicking them a lot. Lots of kicking to keep them away. I kick them to keep them away, and then as they get closer, I ring a neck and ring a neck, ring a neck, ring a neck. I don't know why you still say a they.

How many doors are you open? Like if you open your door and then you shut it and open it immediately, you can spawn just a factory worth of, and like the Purdue chicken plant gonna be calling. Maybe it's a minivan and I've got. Open the door, shut the door, chicken, chicken, chicken. Right.

I mean, you're a chicken maker. Yeah. And so the question was, there is a right answer. Yeah, there is a- Car door, open chickens for sale. How could there be, The question was, there is a right answer. Yeah. Cardor Open Chickens. For sale. How could there be, give us a tougher question than this. Yeah, too easy.

We spent way too much time on it. You gave a rec in the last episode, so I feel like I wanna give a rec in this episode. I, I'm gonna give you a book that I listen to as an audiobook on Spotify called Tusks of Extinction. Now, it's not for everybody, but it is kinda short. So if you don't like it, it's over before you know it. Tusks of Extinction by Ray Naylor. This was a wild ride, dude.

I would recommend not reading too much of the description. I'm trying to figure out how much I wanna give away. It's like a sci-fi story of... uh... tuh... I already told you something about this. this. I don't like spoiling stuff. Well, you gotta give people a reason to read it. The tusk of extinction is these woolly mammoths that have been genetically brought back in the future. And there's a lot of other futuristic elements that happen such that...

I'm trying to not give away the most important part. It's very sci-fi, and it involves a person being put into a willy mammoth. A conscience of a person. Yeah. Consciousness. Yeah. So it's a pretty cool little story. It's only four hours.

I'd be a mammoth if I could. Yeah. I had fun with that one. The Tuss of Extinction. If you're interested in sci-fi, conservation, wilderness drama, I think you might like it. That sounds interesting. Interesting. Interesting. I might check that out. What are those hairless humans doing to each other on their little big ol' cushion.

Squared cushion furniture. You done my sex. Thanks for joining us, thanks for your questions. Don't forget to continue to send them to us, 1-888-EARPOD-1. Hey, Rhett and Link. My name is Devin, I'm from North Carolina. I just realized I have been subscribed to you guys for coming up on 10 years. So yeah, just wanted to say that. Keep it up.

Love it and enjoy it. Yeah.