Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Sextember: Our Most Embarrassing Moments in Bed

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

It’s that time again – it’s Sextember! This is your disclaimer, nothing is off limits, so mind your ears, if need be. In this episode, Rhett & Link are answering questions – from the wildest places they’ve done the deed to some cringey moments to some… advice.. on getting out of a dryspell. It’s all fun and games, but it’s also honest and true – so take what you will! Leave us a voicemail at 1-888-EARPOD-1 for a chance to be featured on the show! Get 20% off mattresses plus an extra $50 off when you use code EAR at checkout at https://www.leesa.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rex Timber. And I'm, man, I wasn't ready for that. I'm Link, uh, Link's Timber. Link's Timber is a sexual joke. Link's Timber. Link's Timber.

Rett's Timber and Link's Timber. Okay. Timber is like a tree? This week at the round table of dim lighting. We are talking about sex. We are talking about lovemaking. We are talking about eros. Oh, you bring it in the Greek.

And I just want to give a little warning here. There might be some specific and explicit conversation about graphic? Sexuals. There'd be some graphic. Graphic tease. It could be graphic. On link side? It could be a lot of things.

If you don't want to hear that, this episode is not for you. This entire episode is devoted to responding to your voicemails about sex. We are sexually relating to you. We're having sexual relations with the people. No, we are not. We are having a form of sexual relations with... No, we are not. With anyone who continues to listen.

He made the man in the graphic t-shirt here. It's such a graphic, graphic on it. It's an octopus. Yeah, octopussy is exactly what everyone's thinking. You understand? See, it's begun. You're wearing a pussy-themed shirt. And now you're talking about having sexual relations

with all the listeners. And they've abandoned... And that's not coming from me. I just got on a black shirt. I wore a... I wore a polo today. I haven't worn a polo in years. But I wanted to look as much like a nice... A nice boy as I possibly could.

A nice boy. To keep my... No, you've been warned. Octopussy friend in line here. We're not gonna be nice boys today. We're gonna be well-rounded sex men today. Okay. Hmm.

I also want to invite you to dive into our wonder hole. Okay, that feels sexual as well. The entire season is out. All six honking episodes on the Renton Link channel. So if you see a really ugly thumbnail or a really unapproachable title, that's it. So click on it because you know what? It seems like our idea to get the algorithm to work with us. Let's talk about that next week.

It hadn't worked. Let's talk about that next week. Let's talk about our failures next week. We're dependent on word of mouth to continue to get views on... Go around your neighborhood and tell people about a wonder hole. Create your own algorithm. We're extremely proud of it. Would you like to just start with a voicemail?

Just break the seal, the sexual seal in that way? Hell yeah. Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear it. In honor of Sex Timber, I have a hot take to share. I think genitalia would be a beautiful name for a girl. and I will say nothing else on the matter. Love you guys.

Jenny. Jenny will tell you anything you're asking. Jenny is an open book. Jenny will tell you anything she wanted to hear from her. It's a flesh book. Both sides of the book are flesh and they open. Oh, God. I agree with this take.

I'm not I'm I'm I think it's a beautiful name I think it's a beautiful word I wouldn't be so bold as to do this to a daughter I would not I would not I don't think anybody should actually follow through I'm just saying the word genitalia sounds like a sophisticated name and Jenny is what you could call it well sure like Jenna yeah yeah is hold on is Jenna short for genitalia Oh, my God.

Is this something we didn't know? Did we not know this? No, it's Virginia, so even better. Virginia. Yeah. Okay, great. Jenna, has anyone ever called you, like maybe a bully or just a snarky friend? Jenna Talia?

No. It's never come up in conversation? It's never come up in conversation, not that way. Okay. Should it? Should it? Well, it has. Now.

Hey, well, it does now. Jenna tell you. Jenna. Jenna tell you. Jenna tell you. Jenna tell you. So, when next time we're together, which is often, and someone asks us a question, which is often, and we don't know the answer, which is often. But you do, which is often.

Uh-huh. We now know what we are going to say often. Genitalia. Yeah. Genitalia. You can't put a pause in. Genetel tell you. Genetelia.

Genet tell you. Genitalia. Genitalia. You know what? Yes, absolutely, please do that. We're just going to be saying, genitalia, whenever someone asks us a question. Hey, I'll tell you one thing. People stop asking this question.

I asked them a question, and they responded with genitalia. Well, so we've broken the seal with a playful little, I don't know if it's sincere, but we've gotten through it. It's, it's, that was the Heimann question. Right. Uh-huh. Yeah, so we can move on. Now we got to go through the mucus plug. That's something that happens before the baby comes out.

Yeah. That's not time for sex. Yes, it is. Not right, not when you're in labor. I know sometimes sex can induce labor, but so can some drug. I can't remember what it is. Potocin. Potocin, yeah.

You're holding yourself as if you're cradling your own bed. You said mucous plug and I lost my appetite. Sorry, sorry. I just feel like because I gave a warning at the beginning, I can say anything. And it can be edifying. Having sex while pregnant. Oh, that's good. It's totally fine.

But I, hold on, did I see an ultrasound? That's fake. Of a baby when sex was being had? Yes. No, no, no, no. No, I didn't. I didn't say that out loud. I'm getting confused.

I saw footage of an ultrasound of a, the mom laughing hysterically. Okay, well, that's quite a different scenario. But when I first saw it, I thought I was watching... Because of the jostling? Yeah, I thought I was watching sex happen on an ultrasound, but then I read the caption. Always read the caption. And by the way... And then don't talk about...

I don't know why I shared it in that way, because basically, now that you brought it up. Laughing while pregnant is a good thing. And sex while pregnant is a good thing. And just so you understand, even though I once heard a really bad joke as a middle schooler about an in-euro child grabbing the head of a penis,

I'm not going to repeat the joke because I also don't remember the setup or the punchline. But that can't happen, okay? I don't care how well-endowed you are. there is a, there's something called the cervix, right, that's separating where the baby is being held and the vagina where the penis is penetrating. And so, unless... But if the baby's being born...

You don't have sex at that point. I bet you somebody has, because when you have, they... The baby doesn't come out hand first, grabbing stuff. The baby comes out head first. You might poke it on top of its soft skull. And then at that point, you'd be like, First of all, if you can tap a baby on your head with your penis during sex, congratulations.

Something I never thought I'd say. Thank you. Listen. Can I go to the next voice? No, no, not yet. Not yet because I want to... I don't know how it got here. I want to press the point a little bit.

Who said a mucous point? I want to press the point a little bit. When a mom is desperate to have that baby, they become more open to things. And certainly, people talk about having sex in order to accelerate, not delivery, but labor. Semen can induce labor. Okay. it then follows that some people some mom to be have shown up at the hospital and they've been frustrated sometimes the hospital is like you know what you're not ready we're going to send you away

and then you put two and three together what are you going to get five you're going to get sex in the hospital that's not advised though that then if it continued through like the first contraction, I'm just saying I bet it's happened. Anything that could happen is probably happened, I bet it's happened. That's probably happened. Now, I, you know, I have nothing to do with that. But I just wanted, I just wanted anyone listening. I'm not responsible for it.

No, that it's. If people have sexual relations in a hospital, I got nothing to do with it. And then that while. Gene, don't tell you. Delivering a baby. I didn't tell you I got nothing to do with it. She was with me the whole time. I got an alibi.

By show of hands, do you agree? I don't remember the last part, but yes. Okay, good. Let's hear another voicemail. Hi, guys. My name is Sierra, a longtime listener, love you guys, and I did have a question for Sex-Tember. I know you guys got married to your wives

like a year-ish apart or some decent amount of time apart. And all of that to say, obviously, Link had sex first. So I was wondering, based on, like, rest personality, I would have thought that as soon as, you know, Link got back from the honeymoon or soon thereafter, he would have bombarded you, Link with questions about how it went, I guess. I don't know.

I was just curious if that was something that was actually discussed between you guys, since there was, like, a significant period between when Link was able to begin having sex with his wife versus when Rhett got to have sex with his wife. Thanks, guys, love you. Yeah, man. I mean, I had an entire year, not an entire year. No, an entire year.

Yeah, an entire year. I got married May 27th. Almost exactly that year. You got married June 3rd of the next year. Uh-huh. I had over a year head start on you. Yeah, and now that this is being brought up, I feel like I got a bone to pick with you.

Because if this was the other way around, You know me. I would have been giving you a play-by-play. I would have told you everything that you needed to know. As far as I remember, you didn't tell me a damn thing. I don't remember telling you a damn thing. Because I was looking out for you. You know, I didn't want to make you stumble.

I think that you... I didn't want... You were trying to be celibate. I think you were a little squirly. I think you were a little squirley about talking about sex at that period of your life. I think I was. And I would have definitely been like, been like, let me give you the highlights.

I don't want to talk, I don't want you to stumble now. I don't want to tell you too much that you start stumbling. Don't, start masturbating again. I didn't want to rub it in, so you would, I guess, start rubbing it out. Or have sex with your, what was she called then? She was called a fiancé. Yeah. Plus, you didn't tell me anything.

It was, it was, I think I was pretty private about it. you were you know it wasn't and I think you might have been too I think we both might have been pretty private I was less private man less private about that kind of stuff that's that has to be true because I would I would talk to you about other you know but you also yeah you also wouldn't you you didn't like question me like according to the caller the assumption was that you would corner me and barrage me with questions I think I was just trying to be sensitive. It is kind of hard to say.

I think... It was a long time ago. It's 26 years ago, and I kind of fell off the map a little bit. I mean, we went from seeing each other all the time to then I got married and I moved out and you were still living on the edge of campus in that apartment with like all of these guys. A rotating pool. Our lives for that year, until you got married, were like the most different. That was the window of most difference in unparalleledness in our entire lives.

If you think about it. Christy was starting the job. We had moved into a house. We were taking care of a dog. We were just overwhelmed with year one of marriage. And Chris and I talk, we always use it as an opportunity with like newlyweds to say, it gets better. If it's anything like our first year of marriage, you better hope it gets better because ours was, there was so much we had to figure out. And yes, we were figuring out sex for the first time.

But not figuring out enough to tutor anybody else. Uh-uh, definitely not. It was a difficult little window of time where so much was changing. So I'm going to put a lot of it on that. Because then you got married and our lives got parallel again. Then we, you know, we were still doing our stuff.

We lived the furthest apart after we got married because we were in Chapel Hill. You were an apex. That was the furthest... That's the furthest apart we ever lived. Yeah. Before 1984. That's right, right.

But we got to, well, we had an appointment. But we were working. Once a week, we would get together. Yeah. But hold on, we got to keep this on the sex topic. We're getting a little off-sex topic. Yep, yep, yep. So, yeah, I didn't, I wasn't gushing about it.

Were you gushing at all? I was gushing. Okay. As much as you thought you would. Sure. Sure. Sure, buddy. I mean, I didn't know that there'd be a dog watching. You know, we were taking care of a Wormer.

A big one. Yeah. He could sit and still have eye level with the bed. And they have a judgy look. So he slept at the foot of the bed. Winewaters are very, you know, regal. But we didn't put him out. That's all you got?

And he wasn't even our dog. So it, I mean, as sensitive- You didn't put him out of the room? He was crate trained, right? He had, he was on a bed. Yeah, he went in a crate in the garage. Having sex in front of your own dog is one thing. Having sex in front of somebody else's dog?

Feels like something you gotta ask permission for. It feels like something you gotta talk to the owners about. Yeah, I didn't ask permission for that or... The things your dog has seen? Oh yeah. If dogs could tell you. I don't think I would have sex in front of somebody else's dog. For as much as we talked about it, not much there.

I'd have sex in front of somebody else's reptile pet, but I don't think I would house it for somebody who owns a reptile, so it probably would never happen. I recommend it. Which part? All of it. Hi, I'm Nancy Cartwright. You may know me better as the voice of Bart Simpson.

On Simpsons Declassified, we're diving into the mysteries that keep the Simpsons forever young. Have you ever wondered how the Simpsons regularly predicts future events? Who better to ask than the show's creators, performers, and writers? The celebrity guests. Be sure to follow and listen to Simpsons Declassified wherever you get your podcasts. Next question. Hi, Lincoln, Rhett. This is Matt from Northern Alberta, Canada, calling about a question I have for you guys.

I want to know what is your most embarrassing slash cringy moment in the bedroom besides peeing the bed? Love you guys. Bye. Most embarrassing slash cringy moment. in a sexual sphere is really what she's asking. You never been embarrassed? You never, I mean, come on, there's always the baseline an ill-time poot.

Yeah, so I mean, I'm just trying to think of something besides a fart. Whoops! Which has happened. I'll just take credit for all of them. When a fart happens during sex, yeah, I tend... I officially take credit for all the farts. Wrette takes credit for all of them that have taken place in my bedroom. I tend to think of them as butt-queefs in a sexual context.

Okay. And that makes them okay. Okay. That helps me, so take that as you will. Of course, there's been some... If that helps you. There's been some ill-timed... Vomit.

Oh, okay, go. Maybe we call an early admission, the early admission process. Okay. Was it, you got the regal card or whatever? You apply to, you apply to, you apply early to college, that's the early admission. Early emission is something when you apply yourself a little too early in the bedroom. And what you thought might have been a little bit more fun times, ends up being more cuddling than you were planning on. Yeah, you know.

It happens. There's also the opposite, which some refer to as the Whiskey Dick. Yep, okay. That's nothing to complain about that. For whatever substance, well, yeah, I mean, if it's an extreme one, if it's just flopping around. Oh, well, yeah, you're losing your erection. Like a, you know, like a wind sock at a local airport.

But if you're talking about like a SSR, S-S-S-R-I-induced endurance. That's just something to be embraced. Well, of course I'm not talking about that, but there's a, with anything like that, you can go too far. And then you're just, you know, you're not contributing. Well, there's that, that's frustrating. There's that religious philosophy of some kind, some, I don't know what it is, is it's those people who think that you basically get right to the edge of

ejaculation and then you hold it and you keep the energy and you take that into your life and so these people are always having sex but never coming what yes you blue balls you know we heard about this through a person through a person who knew a person it was like several steps removed from somebody we didn't know but they were blue balling it all the time for for spiritual enhancements And it could be for athletic enhancement. It could be for like, I've heard it for many reasons, but I can't say I've ever tried it.

The moment I start thinking about trying it, there are other factors that override that decision. Yeah. I don't think... All of biology, all of evolution. I don't think it works. I don't think it works. I don't think you be like, I got to pitch a big game tomorrow.

I'm not going to come tonight. Really? Like, I mean, that's superstitious. I mean, that's superstition, man. I don't think that does any. Does I have any? I mean, really? It relaxes you.

There's a reason why you just, you go to sleep. But there's also post-coitus clarity. Oh, yeah. Right? So that's a positive. Like, mental, you get mental clarity, but you get physical, just floppiness. So you want to be able to physically perform,

you got to stop short. But if you want to mentally perform, you got to go all the way. If you want to make decisions. But half of the battle in a physical performance is the mental aspect. You know, the best, it made me think of the tangential property

of good lovemaking, which is the ability to be able to make sound decisions while making love. And I'm talking about the lovemaking process. Yeah, okay. Like, there are times, if we're going on a romantic trip, I'll try to map things out in my head. I'll try to have a plan, and I'll hold on to it loosely. But something that just like strings things out.

So the, you know, when the passion really spikes a little redirection, a little something different, let's go make a coffee. now that's an interesting one that's a real that's a real left turn sometimes if you want to stretch it out to be like an afternoon in the evening affair at a certain point you're just like saying you know what i'm a hop up and i'm gonna make a coffee i have done that and then the making of the coffee is part of the love making okay so are you talking about a currig because that's not very Are you talking about like an espresso machine? And now, a real espresso machine? That's got a vibration to it. P-s-s... That's sexy, that's a sexy sound. But then it also...

That's pretty sexy. The grinding of the beans? The grinding is sexy. Ah, yeah, you want to grind that beans. That's not sexy. That's scary. Currig is not sexy, though. I think maybe a nespresso.

has a slightly sexier sound because it's more Italian. Clooney was a spokesman for that. Yeah. Sexy guy. So, okay. So, yeah, I'm getting an unsolicited love-making tips. Mid-sex coffee. And it might be, let's go over here and look out of the window.

We've kind of gotten off track a little bit. What was your answer for the cringiest moment? Oh, I'm deflecting. Okay. How am I going to tell? I'm not allowed to tell this story completely. Well, that's no fine. But if you don't put it on TikTok or Facebook or whatever we put all the clips on,

and if I tell it in the right way, then I won't get in trouble. And, yeah, I think I'll make this my story to tell. Why don't you just make it like you were with somebody else besides your wife? And then we'll put that on TikTok. It wasn't about you, honey. As far as anyone knows, you weren't there. I was trying to protect you. Why do you use that voice?

That's not become like, that's the energy I'm challenging. That's how I imagine you arguing with Christy. Didn't I tell you, I was trying to protect you. I was... Where did this story start? Well, I'm going to start a little late. After coffee. Yeah, this is after...

After the second coffee. This is after coffee. And I was... I was rummaging around, you know, doing an inspection. I'm just, I'm trying to use, uh, terms to obfuscate the specifics. And, and inspection. I, you know, it's like, uh, you know, you got to look under the hood. Okay. All right.

Right. And, um, uh, it was involved. I was, I was, I was, I was very involved. And, um, and then I just needed a little breather. and I periscoped up just to get a little breather, you know, how, how you do in a submarine. And based on the reaction I got from, I was like, what's, what's wrong? What? And my face was covered in blood.

Just, I mean, I mean, I was like, what? I didn't know. I was like, what? And then I'm, like, touching my face. And there's like, I mean, like, and I'm not, and I mean, it was. It was just all types. Okay, you gotta keep-

All types of blood. Keep going, keep going with the story. I know where this goes. And, um, come to realize, just to fast forward to the end, uh, it was two weeks earlier, I had gone scuba diving and I had, uh, a sign, one of my sinuses I need to go make a coffee here. One of my sinuses kind of exploded, and it was really painful at the time. And then, I mean, just the pressure, and then I didn't equalize.

It happens. Boy, it really, it really, it really hurt, and it felt like my eyeball was going to explode out of my skull. But then, I mean, the next day, I was pretty much fine, I think. and then two weeks later, to the day, to the moment that I was, you know... Scuba diving in a different way.

Yeah, yeah. It's just my sinus released all of this injury. Like a blood clot. It released a blood clot, which is... This is so unblood. Which is very healthy to do. But it scared these shit.

out of us. Because you didn't know where it was coming from. Yeah, and it was like, woo, it was a lot. It was a lot. And, but you know what? At that point, it was like, you know what, I'm gonna take a shower. And I made, but maybe both of you.

And maybe that could be sexy. Yeah, it, no, there had to be a complete stoppage of play, you know? Oh yeah. There was a complete stoppage of play. And it was like, okay. Okay, we're going to, you know what, we're going to have. Cover the field.

We're going to, you know, cover the, cover, the, cover, they're bringing the guys out to cover the field. People go to a snack bar. Right. Yeah, it's like, I don't know if we're, I don't know if we're going to have to reschedule this till tomorrow. Right, yeah. Rain delay, so to speak. But, yeah, it took over an hour to just get back to a place where we could forget that happened. Was this at home?

No. This was on a trip. Yeah. Oh, yeah. If this is at home, you probably just would have been like... Right. Cancel. Cancel the game. Yes, exactly.

But you're on vacation. Like, we got to make up for this. We were, yeah, we were on a romantic weekend away. Ew, you ruined it. Whew. That was wild. I mean, you asked... I haven't had anything like that happen.

Thank God. It's funny, you know. It's funny. I'm sorry, it was so gross. It was all on you, though. I had to share it. It was all on you. It was all for me.

Actually, it was a little bit on her, too, but it's, it's, uh, I didn't say that. It was your fault. But yeah. Okay. Uh, yeah, I'd have nothing to beat that. Let's hear another one. Hey, boys. I just had a question.

Um, what is a fun and creative way to break out of a dry spell? You know, these things can happen from time to time. No fault. from either partner, but I'm just trying to think of a fun and creative way that I can do that my partner will not be able to say no to. All right, love you guys. This is Alex from Sanford. Bye. From Sanford, North Carolina? Is it from North Carolina? There's other Sanford. Sanford's. There's other Sanfords. We're going to assume North Carolina. Okay, dry spells.

First of all, something that your partner can't say no to. I mean, let's just be, I mean, you know, no still means no even within the context. relationship, but I know what you mean. Baby, I got this blood clot that's ready to just blast. Do you want to be the recipient or not because it's ripe? I think that's what I might say. I think we can bypass. There's stuff that you might hear if you were to like ask AI this question, right?

Like, okay, role play, sex toys, get one of those games that like makes you talk sexy to each other. Sure, those are all good. You can do those if you want. But you said something that she can't say no to. This is tough when, I mean, I don't have an answer, so I'm going to give a little preface and then maybe you have the answer because I, but I just want to acknowledge that like he said, you know, life is complicated and sometimes it's nobody's, it's nobody's fault. And I, it's probably a good idea for it not to be about fault when you're trying to

rebuild a bridge and that it might not be a you might not have to cross a relational chasm but just the practical chasm could you know a little crack the practicalities can turn into a chasm you know life gets in the way of the things that we um that that matter to us but also feel good you know it sex can become expendable because it seems like it's just like icing on top and it you can start to feel like that it's it's it's easy to deprioritize it because you can technically go without it right but then um you know and you got to you you you got to be in touch with your needs and if you're able to be in touch with your partner's needs there's lots of complications here and I think this is a very common thing.

You know, I've certainly experienced that. There's, and there's different phases of, there's different seasons of life where you might be hit with something that we're not just talking about weeks, we might be talking about months, you know? Life throws all types of things at you. And having a mentality of recapture, capturing intimacy is important.

And I do think that timing and circumstances are so huge in this. And there's so much good advice out there that, you know, I just think it's not the type of thing that we should get discouraged and let it create more of a more of a chasm than necessary, you know? Let's destigmatize this. That's all I'm trying to do. But in terms of like giving like really helpful, well-thought-out, educated advice, there's a plethora of that out there. Matter of fact, there's an Instagram that I'm going to look up

and I'll recommend at the end of this thing. But I just wanted to give that as a preface because I just feel the energy that, This is a part of relationships. But now come up with something that's either really good or at least really funny to say. Well, before we get to that. Okay.

Yeah, I think that the oversimplified answer to this is talking about it, right? There is communicating about it in a way that is not, Like you said, blame-oriented, like, you know, we're not having sex right now, says the person who wants to, to the person who seems like they don't, is a pretty common thing, right? And I think that there's a, if you are the partner who's like, I wish there was more sex in this relationship, then I think that approaching it from an accusatory standpoint, is not, that is not the way. But I do think that bringing it up

and letting your perspective be known and your needs be known is important so you can have a conversation about it. Because I do think that there are times when there are things that get in the way and it doesn't, it almost begins to seem like, well, that feels like it's gonna be a little bit of work right now that I don't wanna do.

Like you can start seeing sex as that, right? And so, I agree. If you find yourself in that situation, beginning to actually have a conversation about it, I think is the most important step. Like, that's the seal that needs to be broken. If you're not communicating about it,

which I do think is also common, lots of time can pass, and then it can be like, well, we're not really talking about it, and now I don't know how to talk about it. But if you're looking for, like, a... Irresistible. And then your wife can't say no to.

I think we've employed this type of tool before. I think maybe we were just really impacted by those scared straight, that scared straight TV show where they would bring the military guy in the van and he would come and take your kid and try to get the kid to... What you're doing, like, what you're looking up? I was just looking on Instagram. No, I was trying to find that thing. I'm listening.

I'm trying to find the Instagram people, though. I'm trying to remember the situation that we talked about this. I feel like, can you hire someone who's a Sergeant Slaughter type character, you know, military personality, but sexy military personality? Okay. So kind of like a dom situation. Mm-hmm. But this person enters into your abode to tell you both to have sex.

They don't watch, it's not like a dog that you're babysitting. Yeah, yeah. But they, but you hire somebody to basically command you, like, this would definitely work. The sex police. Have them come out of the closet? The sex police.

In the bedroom? You have been selected, you have been selected by the guys, have been selected by the government, this might be a little bit too close to home with what's happening in our country at this point. You've been selected by the government and have sexes? Random police officers

coming into people's homes. So maybe this isn't. Maybe it shouldn't be police. But it's some kind of like sex authority that shows up and says like, and you hire them and they just show up and they come there like, if you don't come, you're coming with me

or something like that. There's something and then they leave. And they've given you maybe some tools or something, you know, they like have a trunk. They have a trunk of very clean things. So it's like a singing telegram, but instead of singing, they're berating you about

having sex? Yeah, and you're left with no choice. After they leave, after they walk out, they're like... You're so horny at that point. You're like, listen, if we don't have sex, we're going to get in trouble. We're going to be in trouble with that lady or man, whoever it was. You can select it from a website, whatever you want. Yeah, there's nothing like feeling physically threatened to make you want to just, just route each other. There's a trunk of toys.

There's a trunk of toys. I just don't think it should be, I mean, it's got to be tailored to whatever she's into. I mean, you know, some people might want a fireman to show up. Some people might want a dentist to show up. Okay. I like this. What if it is a scenario? Now, interestingly enough, I hopefully we will, I don't know exactly when we're going to experience this thing. I can't remember when it is, but we've got like an experience coming up that, you know, the one, it's not sexual. The one that Jesse signed us all up for that we're going to that I look forward to talking about after it happens. But novel experiences and sort of role-playing scenarios, I think that. But you know, you can hire somebody to come to your house and do like a party game, like a clue or a murder mystery.

They come to your house and they're trained to like lead people through it or whatever. There's gotta be somebody who can come and basically come to your house and convince you that you're the only two people left. And for the sake of the planet, you have to have sex or something. You choose your own adventure and you do it together and you'd be like, okay.

This doesn't sound like. Thursday night like throwing moisture on a dry spell. This sounds like something like if you're just doing, if you've done everything that you can think of, then you've got to bring in someone

to, another person to roll play. I'm just saying, why not go all the way out of your dry spell? Can the drill sergeant just be a sex therapist? That's not as fun as the scenarios that I'm envisioning. All right.

Let's throw a waterfall on your dry spell. He said the funny one. Sergeant Slaughter is... I agree that that was funny. That's what I agree about that. Right. Maybe we should start a business. What if we showed up and told you to have sex, would you?

Would you? And Jenna comes with it. Jenny will tell you to have sex. It's just Jenna. Yeah. This is sweet. Jenna shows up and Jenna tell you to have sex. We're staying in the car.

We're her getaway feet. We have a van that has her picture on the side of it that just says, Jenna tell you. To have sex. And Jen to tell you. She comes in and says, y'all have sex now, or whatever, however you want to say it. Okay. Yeah, I'll say it how I want to say it.

And you leave a trunk. Yes. And we've upcharged on that big time. Leaving the trunk or? Yeah. Okay. We've sold it to them. Up charge.

It's like the mini bar in your hotel room. If you use it, you pay for it. Yes. Yeah. Obviously. Because then we have a cleanup crew that comes in afterward. We got microchips on everything. We got microchips on every toy.

We know if you use it. you can't hide it you can't we don't have cameras because we're not those kinds of guys we got microchips right next next voice mail hi running

my name is Christmas and I'm from Utah my question is Christmas this is for September my question for September is where is the wildest place you guys have had sex

with your wives love you guys bye Christmas from Utah. Okay. It's always Christmas in Utah. What's the wildest place that you've ever made a sex encounter? The wildest place.

I don't, Jesse and I don't tend to be, um, We usually are like, let's just go home. There's a nice bed there. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I mean, we've done... There's been a couple of vehicular encounters. I'm a big man though, you know?

Vehicular pussy slaughter. Okay, alright. You said it. Hey, that's why they call me Sergeant Slaughter. Oh, me, Sergeant Slaughter. Sorry, y'all. I've done that a couple of times. I've put a warning at the beginning.

I've done that a couple of times. Here's my assessment of car sex. Less fun than you thought it would be. Yeah, that's true. But it's fun. It's fun novel in a novel way. There's only so many places around these parts where you can get to a place where you feel like

you could have sex in a car. This ain't North Carolina. It ain't North Carolina anymore. Yeah, to the... I mean, when the kids were younger and we'd go out on a date sometime, I'd be like, let's just not go back home. Then you're going to talk to the babysitter

for 30 minutes, 45 minutes. Those were different days, for sure. If we go home, you're going to talk to the babysitter for 30 minutes. Yeah, oh, and my wife will talk to a babysitter. And then I'm just going to be... I'm going to be upstairs. Just waiting.

Waiting. Naked on the bed with a coffee. Yeah, just making coffee. So that's, I would use that, I mean, that was a compelling argument, which led to the Boy Scout encounter, which I've told before, I'm not telling that one again, you can look that one up. But yeah, it wasn't dark, and they were coming down a trail, and I just thought it was the dead end of a road out in the wilderness, in the mountains. Yep. But, what's the wildest place? I mean, a construction site, but still in the car.

Oh, you didn't go, you didn't like go into a half-framed house? No, it was more of like they were breaking ground. And you parked there? Yeah, but there were like mounds of dirt. I got you, that turned you on? I got it. A little mounds. We parked behind a mound of dirt.

Okay. This is back in North Carolina. Well, of course. Also, broad daylight. I don't know. I just, I think that's fun. Yeah, risky. Yeah, I'm not, that's not me, man.

The foreman shows up. There was a hiking situation that did not, was not carried out to completion. I'm trying to remember. That was out here. There's a hiking situation where there was a place where there was side trails. And we got to a place and, first of all, we didn't have a blanket. We weren't ready and there wasn't going to be any lying down.

So, but there was a, there was a high, there's a height difference between my wife and I. I'm six, seven, she's five, three. Yeah. So we had to find uneven ground. Even ground. You know, I got to perch her up on a mound. Okay, a boulder. And so that commenced.

And then we would like hear somebody, we would hear somebody on the trail, the main trail. Right. And then you'd like, stop. Yeah. And then after like three or four times of this, yeah, I was like, this was fun, but I feel like I've gotten all I need out of it right now.

We can finish this later. Like back in the car. the fact that we could have been caught by people, maybe Boy Scouts. That's probably, that's probably the craziest thing that has happened. I told you recently, though, that we were on an international flight, or maybe it was a, it was a flight where there was a big bathroom. I went into the bathroom at the front of the park. and I was like, this bathroom is large enough to have sex in. That's the first thing I thought, because most plain bathrooms are just large enough for

half of you. I can't even have sex with myself and most of them. Okay, fair enough. And, but I went in there and I was like- They need to put that sign up there on it, like no smoking, no vaping, no masturbation. God. But this one was big enough and I thought for a second, if there was ever a chance to enter the Mile High Club, that this is.

would be it but then I was like I'm not just for the story maybe it would be I've been worth it but I didn't so I haven't done that yet yep you'd be telling that story right now should have done it can you get kicked off a plane for that

yes absolutely they'll they'll ground a plane before it's destination too if there's not already like an air marshal on boards that can arrest you? If you have sex with your partner in a bathroom

on the plane They will ground it They will ground it and yeah Even if you're quick about it I think it depends It depends on how cool everyone is I suppose But yeah you could It's a federal

Yeah you'll get in trouble Yeah there is a couple that did it in their seats What? Yeah they were under a blanket in their seats And like yeah that's too much Because the Well, then you're involving other people. Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, what about, what about in a restaurant bathroom?

That's not illegal, right? Well, technically yes, but they won't, they usually won't call the police for that. They'll just kick you out of the restaurant. Yeah, they'll just be like, come on, guys. But they didn't know. They never found out. I've been kicked out of a bathroom before, but because, not for that, but for implied, it was implied that that's what I was doing. And I was like, because, well, it was a gay club.

And my friend and I went in there at the same time because the line was long and we're like, we'll just go. And it was a one stall. It's like, we'll just wait for each other to pee and rotate. And we got kicked out. It was implied that we were. They were just waiting to see two people come in there. Yeah, yeah. It was either implied that we were having sex.

We were doing drugs. And I was like, I promise we were peeing and then rotating. Okay. But you still get kicked out, yeah. Didn't know that. Yeah. I also feel like that's something. It's like when you're younger, you do it more in other places because you can't go home and have relations.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're like, we got to find a spot to do. Yeah, I wasn't having sex at that point in my life. That was a college baseball field was mine. Target dressing room. Just on the, pitcher's mail? I was on the third base, third baseline. Oh, that's nice.

Solid. Yeah. What? Yeah. This was at night, I assume. The turf, it wasn't great for my knees. It was fun, though. Didn't it tell you about the time?

Didn't it tell you? Didn't tell you about third base? That's, I mean, that is a wide open space. People could enter from any, there's so many points of view of a, of that. Yeah. I mean, there's like having sex at the 50-yard line at your, you. That's amazing. You know, on a football field.

That is amazing. I mean, that is, that is like, like, almost exhibitionist. Like, something the lights could come on at any time, like, all the lights. Yeah, that would have been crazy. Was it, I'm going to ask for follow up, you don't have to answer it. All right. Was this premeditated or was this, like, impulsive? Impulsive.

Just like, here we go. Yep. Wow, that's awesome. That's awesome. Third base. Now, Target dressing rooms are rickety. Yes. And, like...

You stand. But they don't even, like, Target restroom, like, you can see that... It's like a bathroom stall. You can see the feet next to you, right? No, some of them have doors all the way now. I've done some sexual... I've had some sexual contact with my wife in a dressing room.

Okay. Not full on. You're already changing. You're already changing, and you might need someone in there to help you. And the door went all the way down, and you're just quiet. Just quiet. Similar heights also help. Yeah, well, there is a little bench, though.

That's true. There's a little bench. Yeah, there was a, it was a rest, it was a nice restaurant, but it had, it was one of those restaurants that it had closets that were just stalls. Unisex. They were unisex. And then there wasn't a, and then the sinks were out front for everyone to see. So you'd come out of a closet and then you would wash your hand in a communal space. And yeah, there was a little, hey, go to the far one.

And then when you hear a knock, when you hear the special knock, unlock the door. and I will enter. So we didn't enter at the same time. There was a whole charade of, well, I'm entering this, this, I'm going in the bathroom by myself and I'm going to the far stall and giving it in a knocky-knock. No one's answering, so I gets this empty. I'm going to go in there.

Right. And then, and then you do the reverse on the way out. Oh, you did the reverse inside? What's the reverse? The reverse on the way out is the... Okay, so... We exited one at a time. All right.

So you had sex in a restaurant bathroom. I know what restaurant you're talking about. It wasn't... Because I recommended it to you. It wasn't... But your sex? Did you recommend it for sex or for the food? He did.

Oh. Yeah, for the food is great as well. Okay. Food is great. It's one of our favorite restaurants, and I wanted to stay that way, so I'm not going to say what it was. It wasn't a great. Sex bathroom, like it wasn't, it wasn't moody enough. So, but...

It was a little, it almost felt a little skanky. Can you tell me the, just tell me how you did it? Um, hands on sink, I think. Oh, I had a sink in there. Oh, yeah. The sinks were on the outside. Well, then crap. Maybe it was a railing?

I mean, there ain't no touching of toilet. That's, if that's what you're asking. That's what I was making sure. You're staying away from the toilet. Right. Maybe one leg up on toilet. Seat. Okay.

It's been a long time since we've been down that road. Public sex? Yeah, gotta get back into that. Okay, well, there you have it. Nothing too exciting, except, I mean, Jenith's third base, I think. That is crazy. That's a good one.

That's a good one. I mean, what, yeah, what, so you. Was he a third baseman? No, he was an outfielder. Damn. So, but did you, did you literally like, round first base, second base, third base, and so you're on your way home, and then you literally did home base.

Before you got home base. Yeah, yeah. Did you do that? Did you follow the nomenclature? Let's take a walk around the bases and do what each of them? We did not do that. No, because they had sex on third base, which doesn't make any sense. The baseline.

She said the baseline. The baseline. Along the baseline. They were on their way to home. Oh, on your way home. And they didn't make it. They prematurely home-based. What is, like, first base is what?

Kissing. This is controversial. I know. We've talked. I think you've got to start. Home run is penetrated sex. Why weren't you on the home plate? I mean, it's just, it was right there.

Dirty, it's dirty there. Yeah, yeah, we didn't, we weren't on the dirt, we're on the turf, yeah, okay. So he didn't bring out one of those, like, umpire brooms, like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-tch-tch-tch-tch-t. So you gotta work your way backwards. If you're having intercourse at home plate, then I've always thought,

I just think that third base is oral. Second base is hand job slash fingering. Okay. And first base is kissing. Does that feel like a good system? I think that's a good system. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I... I mean, that's a good... That's a way to spice things up. Let's go to an abandoned ball field and... There doesn't have to be abandoned. Well, you don't want anybody to be there. You don't want to get tennis. Currently, no one is playing a game there, yes.

Yeah, there were no games happening. That is wild. That is wild. I am so jealous. You'll get kicked out if there's a game going on. You also won't get to second base. I mean, you probably won't get to first. I almost, I almost like baseball now.

Like, that's what your story's done for me. I'm like, I think I might be a baseball thing. It is the best field to have sex on, I think, because if you're all, On a football field, you've got to come up with 10 different things to do if you're going to go down from end zone to end zone. If you're doing like a full field drive, you know, basketball, what's a three-pointer? I don't even know. It's also wood. Yeah.

When I found out my friend got a great deal on a wool coat from Winners, I started wondering, is every fabulous item I see from winners? Like that woman over there with the designer jeans. Are those from winners? Ooh, are those beautiful gold earrings? Did she pay full price? Or that leather tote? Or that cashmere sweater? Or those knee-high boots?

That dress, that jacket, those shoes. Is anyone paying full price for anything? Stop wondering. Start winning. Winners, find fabulous for less. Okay. Let's move on. We're getting to some good stuff, I guess.

Brace yourself. Hey guys, so excited for sex timber this year. Now, I won't say my name for sake of my partner, but basically, my boyfriend has a thing for flatulence, and as a certified gassy girl, I find this just delightful, but, of course, there's some shame about this. So I was just wondering if you could just give them a little assurance, maybe a little pep talk, so we can break the state. around this for his sake thanks so he's a he's a fart man he likes he likes the farts okay and um well I feel like I already blew my best advice with the like you know the butt queef you did you did a little bit I think that's it I really do um we're supposed to give him a pep talk hey you like what you like buddy because he likes it

But he doesn't wanna, he feels a little embarrassed about it. Here's the thing. Apparently she likes it. There's nothing to be ashamed about here, buddy. This is all just a stigma that we've created. Think about it. The body is a tube, right? You got one in, you got a little mouth on it,

and you got the other end, you got a little asshole on it. For some reason, at some point, we determined that all the noises that come out of this part are fine. Right. Right? And then if the other end of the tube makes noises, oh, we're ashamed of it. But what, think about all the things

that a rectum can do. Think of all the noises it can make, all the pitches it can hit. Some people can play music with it. Maybe you should work on that. Oh yeah, a little symphony. It's not that anything is wrong with you, it's that something's wrong with all the rest of us.

Mm-hmm, yep. We need to get more comfortable. It's just flesh flapping. You know, flesh flapping is, that's a sexy thing, if you think about it that way. There's all types of flaps of flesh that can flap and let your flesh flap flap. That's what I'm saying. Let all your flesh flaps flap. If you're into it, get into it, baby.

Next voice man. I think we solved it. Hi, Written, Link. My name is Fox, and it is Sex Timber, as I am sending this to you. So I have a nice sex timbre question for you. I have been in a friendship, we'll say, with somebody for a little over a year now, and at first wasn't super interested, but things get pretty hot and heavy, and I really have a crush on them. and they feel the same way about me but they are polyamorous

and I am monogamous very much so so that's one of the main reasons why we have decided not to date each other but the more we are not dating each other the more I want to actually have a relationship with him.

I just am not comfortable having sex with multiple partners at one time all together. All together. So I guess I'm just asking for advice. What advice do you have? Do you have advice for how to get more comfortable with that? Or what I should do in the situation? Should I just leave it? Just cut it down to just friends.

I don't really want to, though. But yeah, again, my name was Fox, and I love you guys. And also, I would love to hear Jenna and Logan's thoughts on this as well. All right. Well, Logan ain't here. This is Jamie. That's fine. We got a first.

Logan's on dispatches. Let's get some definitions. I don't think that Fox... I don't think that Fox thinks that polyamory is an orgy. I think that it's just the way that it was phrased at that one part. It made it sound like that's what they thought. Okay. So let's assume that that's not at point.

You are in sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time, not necessarily in the same moment. Man. We think about this, brother. I don't, you know, I don't know. Jenna, your head was moving all over the place over there. I've been through this situation before. Oh, okay.

Well, you should talk about it. It's tricky, yeah, you like the person, but they, it's just different viewpoints on, on sex and moving forward. The person I was seeing made a very clear right off the front that he was Polly, which was totally fine with me, but, and we were good in the between stuff. And then as things started to get more serious, it was like, okay, well, this is a little too complicated for me. Because then it gets into, there's so many different types of poly relationships as well. So, like, there's so many different scenarios. But he wasn't, like, see. Like, give me an example, because I don't even know what you mean by that.

Like, some people just have sex with anybody they want. it's it's not so much of that as they'll have multiple people that they'll have multiple partnerships i guess will be the right way to say it so like when he and i first started seeing each other he told me out the bat he was polly but he was not currently in any relationship with any of those other people you're seeing so at the time i was like we're just casually dating still we're still figuring things out and I was unsure how I felt about the whole Polly thing but was open to the idea and then as things started to get more serious then it's like okay it kind of could become a your sharing time with someone or you meet the other person in this relationship and then see

if that is a like mutual care or does that become sexual not always not every Polly Polly relationship that you have with someone means that you are having sexual relations with the other people in that relationship. Gotcha. So it eventually we both were like, this is a little too much. I respect you. I care about you, but I don't want to move forward kind of thing. So I guess I would have more questions about what kind of Polly relationship Fox's partner is dealing with at the moment. but if there's already like that's not something that they want to do it's probably best to not move into any move further into feeling mode like clearly they're sexually attracted to each other that's one thing but if you have those stronger feelings connected and you want to form those bonds but you don't want to form those bonds when they are with other people

And that's a deal breaker for a lot of people with poly. Because if you assume that like the simplest version of this, that neither of them are in a relationship with anybody right now. But Fox's disposition is monogamy and this other person's disposition is polyamory. I'm totally speaking just off of intuition and some anecdotal. evidence. But it seems to me that the only way that it ever seems to work is if you have two people who have a polyamorous disposition

before they know each other, who then meet each other and are like, yes, we both think this way about relationships and now we're going to begin conducting a relationship like that. What happens a lot is you've got what's something that starts as a monogamous relationship, and then one person decides that they want to be polyamorous and then tries to talk the other person into it. I mean, how is that ever going to work?

I mean, maybe, I don't... Or you might have two people who are monogamous who then they both sort of independently decide that they want to be polyamorous. That also feels like a really difficult situation. I'm just, I'm not saying, I'm not prescribing. I'm just saying that feels complicated. right? So the idea you've got somebody who's like, I'm monogamous and I'm not, if you're like, I'm monogamous, but I'm going to change my fundamental disposition and POV on relationships for you? How is that? How is that going to, how is that not destined to be a huge complicating factor in a relationship, which already has a bunch of complicating factors because it's a relationship? I just, you know, I'm much less comfortable with someone trying to,

to get somebody to be poly when they're not, then getting someone who's poly to be monogamous because, like, that seems like, well, if you want to be with me, I'm monogamous and that's the type of relationship I want. So if you really want that, are you willing to give up that,

I don't know if you call it a practice or I don't know if people start to see it as an identity of sorts? I know too little about it to speak about it. but I you know it's like if you're I'm trying the the easiest analogy for me and I don't think this is a really great analogy probably is that if you're dating if you're dating somebody not exclusively and then you're moving into an exclusive relationship it's like that's a decision that you might want to make with somebody or you might never want to make because that's not the type of person you are But it's a lot, it seems a lot more fraught to ask somebody to become poly than for somebody to consider being monogamous because of, you know, they want to be with you. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely different because if you're polyamorous and you try to be monogamous, you might always have that, like, itch because you just make a lot of connections with people. Uh-huh. And that's kind of where poly people come into play. They're like, well, I just can, it's this thing called compersion where, like...

You don't get jealousy from seeing your partners with other people. Like, you feel like, no, I'm happy that you're getting this joy or whatever you're getting out of this other person. Whereas, like, with monogamy, a lot of times it's just like, no, like you don't want to share. Like, you just feel like, how can you have so much room for me when you have room for other people? So I think that either way, if you try to fit either person in a different box, it's probably just not going to work out. Okay, I hear that. Yeah. Yeah.

Tread lightly. I mean, there's other fish in the sea and it can be a lot less fraught. Yeah. So we're not going to tell you what to do. Take care of yourself and don't coerce anyone else. Yeah, I just think it's not a good idea. It's not a good idea.

We're hearing it's not a good idea. I don't think so. Yeah. We're hearing that. You ask and they told you, and we listened as well. Do we maybe have one more? Mm-hmm. Just ending with a banger.

Well. Hey, y'all. My name is Delaney. I'm calling from St. Petersburg, Florida. And I've loved you guys since I was in middle school, and now I'm 26 years old. But I just wanted to celebrate Sex-Tember by asking y'all if you guys have ever had any trouble performing or, you know, getting that finish line with your wives. and what you did to deal with that. I'm currently going through some interesting times with my man

and just wanted some fun advice. All right, well, thank you all. Happy September. Bye. Wow, okay. So we're going to answer this now. You know, the interesting thing about this is that I actually had performance issues

at the very beginning of my marriage. I could see how that makes sense. So I had... There was quite a build-up. Yeah, yeah, I was 23 years old. So there was, you know, there was no physical challenges. But I had built up sex so much, and sex was incredible. And there was no problem, like, on the night of my wedding, which was yes.

the first time I ever had sex, right? And the first time that Jesse had ever had sex. And so I'm not, you know, in retrospect, it wasn't good sex. It was two people who had no idea what they were doing, just trying to do what they thought they should do. No one had told me about, you know, the clitoris, the clitoris, however you pronounce it.

And no one had told her. heard about it either. I mean, that's the place where we come from, you know. So I'm not, it was definitely better for me. I got everything that I needed. But then the honeymoon that next week, there were times when, because what I thought is like, we're going to have six, five times a day is what I'm thinking, right? I'm making up for all this lost time. Yeah. And then what ended up happening was like the second day that we're on our honeymoon. moon, I'm noticing, I, like, I'm not able to, I can't maintain my erection right now. It's like, what is happening? And there was this like mental psyching myself out that happened.

And it actually took, it took a while to get over that. And the thing that, I don't, I think it was, I was so, like, overstimulated and there were so many expectations. And there was this, seeing this thing as this completely almost religiously sacred experience that was could only exist within the confines of marriage that had given me this kind of weird view about it that now that I was experiencing it we were experiencing it I kind of psyched myself out but the thing that was what ended up being helpful was first of all Jesse being very patient but also me being patient with myself and so what ended up happening is if I ever felt that happening I was like here we are in the middle of doing stuff and now I feel like I'm having trouble performing

there's other things that I can do right now and what I would do make a coffee you make a coffee go scuba diving is usually the thing that I might turn to there's other pleasurable things that we can do right now there's other things ways that I can contribute to her experience that will then, like, cycle me back into being ready again. And I don't even have to, it doesn't have to be something that is said, acknowledged, or brought into the space. I could be like, oh, this thing is happening right now because of something mental that goes on in my head,

and I'm going to refocus my energy in other places, and then, oh, here we go again. And that's how I worked through that at the time, and then it just ended up not being a problem again in the same way. Yeah, because the mental aspect of it is very, very real. And, you know, it can build or spiral. But, yeah, you know, calling in the mechanic, looking under the hood, in the innuendo sense, but also maybe in the sex therapy sense.

And that's, I mean, I said that I wanted to make this recommendation, so I'm gonna see if I can find it. Not putting pressure on yourself. So in other words, I don't think that the militaristic character with a trunk showing up at your house and telling you to have sex is probably the best idea. It was just a joke. Because I do think that having patience with yourself

in those moments and being like, we don't got nowhere to go. You don't, you know, we're not being timed. This isn't like a 1992 radio show where the first person to come wins a trip to Disneyland. Oh, you know. So I just think that patience with yourself and patience with your partner who, it sounds like you are, you have patience for your partner in the way that you're talking about this. So I think that that's what I would say because I think that especially if you're young, it's probably not an actual physical thing. It's probably a mental thing, but I'm not a doctor, so I don't know.

Okay, I found it. Vanessa and Xander with an X, Vanessa Marin, couples therapist. We help couples in long-term relationships keep the spark alive. Yeah, I don't remember why or when I started following them, but like, I think that it's a, you know, it's like a edifying, very approachable. approach to sex therapy for those in long-term relationships. So Vanessa and Xander

with an X. Yeah. Not a triple X, though. Check them out. All right. Well, there we did it. That was our sexy time. Sex timber has happened. Do you have mental clarity? We came. We saw. We sex timbered all over...

Oh, goodness. Oh, yeah. I feel like I should take a nap. Maybe you just have a cigarette. We'll talk at you next week. Hi, Rhett. Hi, Link. A while back on a podcast, you wanted to know what blind people thought you looked like. Well, I'm blind.

And although I don't know what you look like, I know that your voices are pretty darn hot.