Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Shocking Song Lyrics That Went Over Our Heads | Ear Biscuits Ep. 338

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Have you actually listened to the lyrics of your favorite songs and been shocked at what they actually mean? This week, Rhett and Link go through several songs they used to blast in their rooms as kids with a fresh set of ears, and realize that these songs aren’t as innocent as they once seemed. Sexual references, innuendo and coded language all flew right past younger Rhett and Link in these hit songs from the 80’s and 90’s. Plus, Rhett pitches Link become a sex education DJ, right before breaking Link’s heart regarding Link’s upcoming DJ set at Rhett’s house. Don't miss the biggest Mythical live event of the year! Visit MythiConTickets.com for more info! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast

where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the Roundtable of Dim Lighting, we are revisiting some lyrics to songs that we did not understand as kids, but now that we are menfolk and fully understand- All the things that there are to understand in life,

well, just slightly more than we understood at the time. Wow, kind of blown away with what we were singing and what we were rapping and what we were talking about back in the day. And I wanna contrast it to how things are these days. So, but go ahead and tell me, how did you get into this? This was a Shepard conversation? Yeah, so last week on the same evening,

my boys had, Shepard had his middle school dance and Locke had his high school prom. So boy, it was just, you know, lots of pictures being taken, et cetera, et cetera. And I think that- You feeling the dance fever? I think that there is, as I think we said last time, there will be like your approach to prom

slash middle school dances because next year, you know, Lincoln will still be, he'll have the prom, Shepherd will have another middle school dance. So it'll still be fresh. So we can kind of give the dad's giving advice to kids episode during the season. When it's more pertinent. But this is how this came up

because I was just talking to Shepherd and I was like, so you think you're gonna get out there and dance? Just, you know, I don't know how these things work anymore. Your generation's so weird. Yeah. And they've all been cooped up in this pandemic. They don't know how to speak to each other. They forgot what the bottom half of faces look like. There's just a lot to overcome.

And he said, I don't know. You know, I was like, you're gonna like, you're gonna like ask a girl to dance? I don't know. Like there's lots of I don't knows, which is I guess a good place to be. But then he started asking me, he was like, you're gonna ask a girl to dance for you? I don't know. There's lots of I don't knows, which is, I guess, a good place to be. But then he started asking me, he was like, well, tell me about your middle school dances.

And that led to talking about the time that we did, which we wrote about in the book of mythicality, where we basically did a lip sync contest where you were, which is so appropriate now that you're becoming a DJ in your second career. You lip synced as a DJ. A pantomime. Yeah, as DJ Jazzy Jeff.

Anyway, and then that led to- As it turns out, I still have no clue how he does what he does now. That led to a conversation about us using every opportunity we got to perform for our fellow students. Yeah. Which led to the conversation

about taking over the fall festival in seventh grade? Eighth grade? I think it was seventh grade. I mean, it could have been sixth grade. And turning that opportunity of being able to, just having everyone assembled at the fall festival, which was a way to talk about Halloween without saying Halloween, I guess,

in a small Christian conservative community. And how we took the song OPP by Naughty by Nature and made it instead of you down with OPP, you down with Halloween, which we had the privilege of performing live on the Tonight Show backed up by the roots. Can you believe that happened? Like in the like stories we'll tell on the Tonight Show backed up by the Roots. Can you believe that happened? Damn.

In the like stories we'll tell on the porch. I do think that it's a career peak. Yeah, I mean, hopefully there's other peaks. It's not gonna get any better than that. We may get back there. We've had a number of like high points, but that's definitely one of them. And so that led to me saying, you know what?

Yeah, it was the first rap we ever wrote and performed. Like it wasn't something, I'm still baffled by the fact that it happened because it wasn't like every year at the fall festival, some students would get up and perform. Like at the talent, I mean, at the dances, yeah, it was a lip sync contest. You would enter.

I approached the administration and asked permission to do this. Yeah, it's just something that you took the initiative to do that was with no, you know, the pattern had not been set. You have to set the pattern. But that led to me saying,

have you ever heard OPP? Shepard. And of course he hadn't. And while Shepard is a connoisseur of music and listens to a lot of old school stuff, he doesn't listen to much old school hip hop. So, I turned on OPP and began to play it. And of course I know what it's about. I know what OPP and began to play it. And I, of course, I know what it's about.

I know what OPP stands for, because that's what the song is telling you about the whole time. Well, it was other people's property, but as you'll get into the lyrics, it's more specific than that. It's very, very specific. So you played the song for Shepard.

And he was just like, like putting his hand on his forehead and like just shaking his head. Like, now- But was he listening to the lyrics or was he reacting to the production or like just the style? So we listened to the first verse and he was taking in a lot, right?

And then I said, Shepard, are you really listening to the lyrics? Uh-huh. And he said, kind of, I said, okay, well, we're starting over. So I rewound it, well, I didn't rewind it, that doesn, kind of, I said, okay, well, we're starting over. So I rewound it. Well, I didn't rewind it. That doesn't happen anymore.

I'm old. I just started the song again. And at that point, it was when he was processing exactly what was being said, which, now there's, we don't have, there's no embarrassment in our family about talking about these things. So it wasn't like, oh, dad,

I can't believe you're doing this. You're embarrassing me. He was just like, I can't believe that this was a thing that was happening culturally, I guess, but it's still happening as we might demonstrate later. It was a huge song. I mean, it was everywhere. It was definitely a crossover hit.

It was like middle school dances, absolutely playing the song. And like I said, I knew what it was about, but I had just forgotten the explicit nature. So I'm going to read the lyrics to OPP. And this came out August 24th, 1991. So we were 13. And for effect, just to clarify,

I will not be trying to deliver these rhythmically or in any relation to the song, not for legal purposes, but because it is more entertaining to read them as if you are reading a poem. Arm me with harmony. Dave, drop a load on them. Those are some introductory things that were said. Yeah, and I guess Dave was the DJ

and he was dropping the beat. Yeah. OPP, how can I explain it? I'll take it frame by frame it. To have y'all- Jumping shot with saying it. Don't, no, that's what, only one rule. You can't start doing the lyrics and singing the song.

That's my only rule. I'm not gonna sing it. That's my only rule. I'm not gonna sing it. That's my only rule. Let me go through these. Okay, okay. You go through yours. Okay. To have y'all all jumping, shouting, saying it, O is for other, P is for people, scratch your temple. Yeah, think about it.

Think about it. The last P, well, that's not that simple, huh? It's sort of like, oh well, another way to call a cat a kitten. Mm-hmm. Yep. It's five little letters that are missing here. You get it on occasion if the other party isn't gaming.

It seems I gotta start the explaining, bust it. Yep. You ever had a girl and met her on a nice hello? Hello. You get her name and number, then left feeling real mellow. Mm-hmm. You get home, wait a day,

she's what you wanna know about. Then you call up and it's her girlfriend's or her cousin's house. Oh. It's not a front, an F to the R to the O to the N to the T. Yep, that is how you spell it. It's just her boyfriend's at her house. Oh, that's why she's scary.

Ah. It's OPP time, other people's, but you get it. There's no room for relationships. There's just room to hit it. How many brothers out there know just what I'm getting at? You think it's wrong because I was spitting and co-hitting that? Co-hitting that.

That's a good lyric. Well, if you do, that's OPP and you're not down with it. But if you don't, here's your membership. Oh. You down with OPP? Yeah, you know me. You down with OPP? Yeah, you know me.

You down with OPP? I don't feel comfortable saying, yeah, you know me, actually. Who's down with OPP? All the homies. Every last homie there. Every last homie. You down with OPP?

Yeah, you know me. You down with OPP? Yeah, you know me. You down with OPP? Yeah, you know me. You down with OPP? Yeah, you know me. You down with OPP? Yeah, you know me. Who's down with OPP? All the homies. Well.

And now we gotta flip the script. For the ladies. OPP means something gifted. The first two letters the same, but the last is something different. You see how he got to different? Probably tried different the first time. Now don't be- No commentary on the l is something different. You see how he got to different? Probably tried different the first time. Now don't be-

No commentary on the lyrical choices. I don't wanna criticize. This is a classic, it's a hit. Tretch has a lot of respect. Better than I could have done. As a lyricist. As is evidenced by You're Down With Halloween, which we will not be reading.

It's the longest, loveliest, lean. I call it the leanest. He's gotta get to that rhyme. It's another five letter word rhyming with cleanest or meanest. So he's talking about penis-ed. The past tense of being penis-ed. You have been penised.

Oh my gosh. I won't get into that, really. I'll do it sort of properly. I'll say the last P stands for property. Now lady, here comes a kiss. Blow a kiss back to me. Now tell me exactly, have you ever known a brother who had another, like a girl or wife?

And you just had to stop a toast cause he looked just that nice? Now first of all, some of these lyric sites, this is genius.com, sometimes I get it wrong. Sometimes I get it wrong. So don't hold that against us. It sounds rightish to me. You looked at him, he looked at you,

and you knew right away he had someone, but he was gonna be yours anyway. You couldn't be seen with him at all, and still you didn't care, cause in a room behind a door, no one but y'all are there. When y'all are finished, y'all can leave, and only y'all would know, and y'all could throw that skeleton bone

right in the closet door. Dough. Now don't be shy, because if you're down, I want your hands up high. Say OPP. I like to say with pride, now when you do it, do it well and make sure it counts. You're down with a discount.

Look, can I just interject and say, you have never sounded more white dad Yeah, right. than you do right now. Well, I'm a white dad. Just being myself. And the same thing happens again. The whitest and daddest. This time it's every last lady and all the ladies.

It won't make you go through that. It goes both ways. It takes two to tango. And let me just- Well, it actually takes at least three, but only two are tango. This is a long song. Let me just rush through the third verse.

I don't even remember the third verse. A scab tried to OPP me. I had a girl and she knew that. Matter of fact, her and my girl was partners that had a fallout, disagreement, yeah, an argument. She tried to do me, so we did it in my apartment. Busted. That wasn't the thing.

It must've been the way she hit the ceiling. Whoa. Okay. Because after that, she kept on coming back and catching feelings. I said, let's go. My girl is coming, so you gotta leave. She said, oh no, I love you, treach.

Tretch. Tretch? Yeah. He spelled it with a E-A. I said, now no, I love you, Treach. Tretch. Tretch? Yeah. He spelled it with an E-A. I said, now child, please, you gots to leave. Come grab your coat right now. You gotta go. I said, now look, you chose the stairs

or choose the stair window. Oh my gosh. That was a fling, a little thing you shouldn't have brought your heart. Cause you know I was OPP hell from the very start. Come on, come on. Now let me tell you that it's all, what it's all about. When you get down, you can't go running off at the mouth.

That's rule number one in this OPP establishment. You keep your mouth shut and it won't get back to her or him. Exciting, isn't it? A special kind of business. Many of you will catch the same sort of OPP messing with him or her or him. Exciting, isn't it? A special kind of business. Many of you will catch the same sort of OPP messing with, him or her, for sure. I'm going to admit it, when OPP comes, damn Skippy,

I'm with it. The thing that strikes me is- So I let my 13 year old be educated by that. We never received this level of education. We never thought about the lyrics in this way. I mean, there were certain songs at the time that I was thinking about the lyrics. If they were like a story, if it was a story song,

or if it was like something really just blatant, like a young MC rapping about Bust a Move. You got this girl at the wedding and you're feeling like you wanna be with somebody. That was the only way I could follow it. They watched over you. This isn't hard to follow, but like, but rhythmically it was so catchy

and it was a little harder to follow because he was and is a really good MC. So I'm gonna put it on that, not just on us. But I mean, and this was, I mean, But we were kids as well. It was such a huge song, but we were listening to other lyrics and processing them, but I never thought this is something that I disagree with.

You know, cheating on, like glamorizing, glorifying, cheating on your partner as something that you can, that is set up as like a cultural norm. Like, hey, if everybody's playing by these same rules, there's nothing wrong here if nobody finds out. You know, it's like, I would have felt, I mean, we wouldn't have agreed with that, but we were also middle schoolers.

But we also did. If we would have thought about it, it wouldn't have given us license. I don't think anyone thinks about music in that way. Well, parents do. Adults do. Parents are like, oh, you can't listen to this. Because you will adopt the philosophy of the person rapping who may or may not be playing a character, by the way.

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, definitely. But that was never a danger. I never thought about having sexual license as a middle schooler. Now, if I was in college listening to this, it might give me some oomph. Of course, not when we were in college,

the way we were in college, we would listen to this stuff and I will note, you know, I'm talking about college, but to go back to this exact era, like taking the NWA tapes that your brother would secretly buy. And sometimes they would be so raunchy that he would find a way to edit the tapes himself, like censor the tapes.

A couple of songs he had to censor the entire song off the tape. I think Just Don't Bite It was one of them. Yeah, so, and we were listening to that stuff too. That was like, it was like musical pornography. Oh, it was so explicit. And very misogynistic. We didn't listen to 2 Live Crew.

It was very problematic, but yeah, we heard it. You're right, but for some reason we drew the line at 2 Live Crew, I don't know what my brother did. I don't think your brother liked the music. It wasn't as good. It wasn't nearly- The Miami sound is not something that we really liked. It wasn't as good as NWA.

It just kind of, and that was at the exact same time. So those lyrics were like blatantly pornographic. I mean, there were like, there were sound effects of sex acts and skits. And so all of this stuff was happening. So this was coded. It wasn't that coded. This is why it could be popular.

But it wasn't- Like on radio. There were no curse words. And so it played on the radio. Yeah, there was not profanity. The NBA wasn't playing on the radio. Well, one of the things that- Oh yeah. I think that there's a, it's interesting because you would listen to raps-

We reached number six on the Hot 100. You would listen to raps- A pop hit six on the Hot 100. You would listen to raps. A pop hit. To learn lyrics. I never did that. That was not, I would never like, I'm gonna listen to this again so I can learn the lyrics. I might learn them by osmosis, you know, just listening over time.

But I just, I didn't ever, it didn't, I didn't start processing lyrics to songs until I was an adult. And I still often don't processing lyrics to songs until I was an adult. And I still often don't process lyrics to songs unless it's like, oh, this is really, this is something meaningful here and I'm gonna really listen to it. So I'd say 95% of the music that I listened to as a kid

was just washing over me and not, and I couldn't have told you what it was about. Yeah. And I think that's relatively common. All it takes is a little coding. That's what he did. Just a little bit. It's the longest lean, some call it the leanest,

is another five letter word rhyming with cleanest and meanest. That's not a lot of coding. No, not really, but we didn't think about it. He's talking about penis? What? So you're saying that you didn't know he was talking about penis when he said that? If I knew he was talking about penis? What? So you're saying that you didn't know he was talking about penis when he said that? If I knew he was talking about penis,

I didn't like then, I didn't then zoom out to try to interpret the whole song. It was like in that line, he says something about wieners. It just sounds, I own this, I have this tape. I listen to every song on this tape. So I'm gonna skip to another, I'm gonna go to 1995. But first, hey, we gotta talk about Mythicon on this freaking podcast.

So listen, Mythicon, the most mythical event in the history of mythicality, the most mythicality put into one weekend in Austin, Texas. This is a convention in real life. Do we need to say that? Yeah, it's Mythicon, it's a convention. Mythical beasts- Austin, Texas. in real life. Do we need to say that? Yeah, it's Mythicon. It's a convention. Mythical Beasts. Austin, Texas.

Descending upon a like Western town outside of Austin, Texas that we're basically going to just take over this town for a couple of days. And- It's like a mythical circus coming through a Western town. It has this like sideshow kind of like, I was gonna say Ren Faire, but no, it's not Ren Faire. But in the way that like we're going all in,

like you're entering another world, in that way it is. October 28th through the 30th, it's gonna be worth it. This is gonna be history making. It's gonna be something that we can build on, you know, and say, hey, this was an amazing experience for the select group of people. It's very, it's limited capacity, you know, with this venue that we've got centrally located,

that's why we picked Austin. And also because the venue is like thematically awesome. That limited the number of tickets we could sell to create an experience for the people who are able to get a ticket. Yeah. So I'm concerned it's gonna sell out quickly. We'll see how it goes, but don't take that chance.

This is where you wanna be, with us in Austin for that weekend. So it's mythicontickets.com. To get those tickets, there's different packages that you can get as well. And I will say that, you know, we've been talking about this and planning this for multiple years, honestly, since we stopped touring.

Yeah. And just with our schedules and the way that things are sort of structured with all the stuff that we have to do, the thinking was, hey, instead of traveling around, let's have everyone come to one place, right? Yep. And so, this is what we're putting,

this is what we're investing in, this is what we're trying to put the most mythicality all together in person in a way that we've never done before. So we really hope to see you for the most mythical experience possible, Mythicon 2022. So, MythiconTickets.com.

Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. I'm going to go to 1995. Like I said, I got to talk about how Alanis Morissette came on the scene. You know, she brought it.

You ought to know, there's a great documentary. I can't remember what it's called now, but it's on HBO all about her rise to fame. It's really good, especially the first two thirds. But you ought to know, I mean, she's upset. She's, her man, who some people say is Dave Coulier, but she's not coming out and saying that. She says it's like an amalgamation of people,

I think in the documentary. She skirts the issue. She's not the type of thing that like, she seemed to say it was kind of a ridiculous assumption, but she didn't address it directly. Which uncle is that from Full House? Uncle Danny? No, he's the one with the-

I know he's the blonde one. The comedian. Yeah, but what's his name? Joey, Uncle Joe. Uncle Dan? Uncle Joey. Joey, okay, I'm right. Yeah, so the, yeah.

I want you to know I'm happy for you. It's, I mean, at her age, like she was so young, like writing these lyrics, I wish nothing but the best for you both. An older version of me is she perverted like me. This is the very beginning of the song. Would she go down on you in a theater? What does that mean? Right there, one, two, three, four, five lines into the song. I she go down on you in a theater? What does that mean?

Right there, one, two, three, four, five lines into the song. I think it means she goes to pick up your popcorn if you drop it. Yeah. Just thinking about the theater staff. Does she speak eloquently and would she have your baby? I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother.

Oh. Yeah, would she go down on you in a theater? I mean, the second verse really, I never thought about that. I didn't know what that meant. Going down in a theater? Yeah. I don't think I knew at the time.

What year are you saying, 95? I mean, no, I'm 95. Oh yeah, I knew 95. I think we, I guess we knew by that point. Yeah. But you didn't think- But we had, somebody had to tell us. You don't wanna think it was on the radio though.

It's like, there's no way that's what she means if this is on the radio. The second- Somebody we had somebody had to tell us. You don't wanna think it was on the radio though. It's like, there's no way that's what she means if this is on the radio. The second- Somebody from Dunn had to tell us. Second verse hits hard too. You seem very well, things look peaceful. I'm not quite as well. Yeah, we kind of picked up on that.

I thought you should know. Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner. So you realize this entire exchange is a confrontation where he's out on a date with her saying these things. She's there. Yeah. Does she go down in unit theater?

Does she speak eloquently? Maybe later. Is she gonna have, oh, I'm sure she'd make an excellent mother. It's like she's there. We're going to see Titanic later. Pretty great. It was a slap in there. We're going to see Titanic later. Pretty great. It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced.

And are you thinking of me when you fuck her? Oh, Link. So that was bleeped on the radio. Yeah. But I mean, that was quite an entrance to the scene. So it was hard to ignore. I think the down on you in theory, yeah, we had to know what that meant at the time.

And boy, that was, it was just, it was intriguing. I think by 95- You've got this whole grunge thing. Well, by 95- It's starting to happen. The two of us- You got this chick who's like bringing it. The two of us are well established in a Christian band, making our own music at the time,

listening to secular music exclusively. Secular. Secular. The only time, and weren't about them nuclear bombs. I don't remember thinking that, I didn't buy an Alanis Morissette tape or CD. Like I, but I was like, oh, that's catchy. It's a catchy song, but she felt dangerous, a little bit dangerous.

Even though we listened to secular music, it felt like we would divide things into sort of, you know, godly and worldly, right? And she was definitely on the worldly side and she was like kind of reveling in it. She was a little scary, a little intimidating. Yeah. At the time. That's unabashed subversion, which was, I mean,

but she was really just talking about something that was true to her experience that like tapped into what, you know, just the rage of like being dumped. But I think what I'm saying is that we had a tendency to lose because with our worldview, you just put things in two categories, like this is good and this is bad and worldly, right? And when you do that, when you have a filter

that it kind of just shifts everything into the worldly box, all the nuance and all the wisdom and all the interesting insights that you can get from that art is lost. And so you're just like, this is not, I mean, again, we weren't prudes and so we didn't, we listened to it, but we secretly judged it as we were listening to it. And we never thought that like, this is like, this isn't just a catchy song, but you know,

this is about a woman scorned, you know what I'm saying? And like eloquently bringing, I mean, it's still very nineties lyrics in a lot of ways, but you know, you just lose all the nuance of everything. Yeah. Because I remember thinking I was so into Tribe Called Quest. I'm actually wearing a shirt today. Because-

I'm actually wearing a shirt today. Instead of being- That says it. Instead of being shirtless like I was planning on. That's what it sounded like. Yeah, in 91, when I really got into them, it was, there was this, I was relieved that they rarely cursed and it was like pretty tame.

It was a choice that they made. And so like, I didn't feel, they were like very cool. Like one of the best, it was classic hip hop album, but it was like, I had permission to listen to it without like feeling like I had to sneak around or like I was doing something wrong. Right. It was the first tape that I had that was like,

it felt safe to me, but still very cool for that reason. What you got next? Cause I got some stuff. I mean, I had to hit the Atlanta theater line, but we may have some overlap here cause there's some stuff in those like middle school, early high school days that is just ridiculous on the radio. I'm gonna talk about Garth Brooks.

You are? That summer. Okay, you're gonna go in this direction. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love this, this is such a good song. Now, this is a story song. Garth Brooks, it's funny because, well, I think one reason is because

he doesn't put his music on Spotify. But like, I also, I was so into Garth Brooks in middle school. Yeah, you were. And a little bit in high school, but- It was justified. But I didn't remain a Garth Brooks fan. I didn't listen to Garth Brooks in college, really.

I didn't listen to Garth Brooks in the, like I didn't do it in my 20s, 30s. You know, I go back and listen to it and I'm like, it's interesting how this music broke through in such a big way and it connected with me in such a significant way. But I like, I listen to it now and I'm like, it wasn't as good as I remember.

I don't know what it is. Was this not on Spotify? You listened to it on Apple or something? How are you even getting it? You going to Walmart where it's exclusively sold? No, it's, I know, there's a way that you can listen to it. I can't remember how I have. And it didn't-

Maybe Amazon? It didn't tap into it for you. No, but this song- That's surprising. This song that summer, what I would do is I would like sit in the backseat of the car when my family was driving and going someplace and we would put on Garth Brooks and I would sing it and they would like sit in the back seat of the car where my family was driving and going someplace and we would put on Garth Brooks and I would sing it

and they would like, Rhett sing that song, sing the river. No dream is like a river. I mean, for those first two albums, I don't think he missed, every song was just great. But I'm pretty sure my parents never got me to sing this song in their presence. I went to work for her that summer, a teenage kid so far from home.

She was a lonely widow woman, hell bent to make it on her own. We were a thousand miles from nowhere, wheat fields as far as I could see, both needing something from each other, not knowing yet what that might be. Well, I think one party might've known what that might be. Till she came to me one evening.

Oh. Hot cup of coffee and a smile. Oh, coffee in the evening. What's the late night? In a dress that I was certain she hadn't worn in quite a while. There was a difference in her laughter. There was a softness in her eyes. Yeah.

And on the air, there was a hunger even a boy could recognize. A boy, okay, so a boy here. He's a teenager. A teenage kid and she's a lonely widow woman. So in my mind, he's, again, listen. Can we say he's 18? We really can't.

I mean. Let's just say that for the benefit of everyone. He's 18. She's 46. Yes, she is. Well, actually she may be, I don't well know. She's a farm woman. We get some details about her physically in a second.

Okay. But she's been in the sun, so it's kind of hard to tell. Well, let's get to it. But we're assuming they're both in their sexual prime at this point, which is... Oh, sexual prime for a woman is what? Early 30s? Okay. So I think she's beyond that.

Well, let's see. But she's still feeling the thunder because, oh yeah, she had a need to feel the thunder, this is the chorus, to chase the lightning from the sky, to watch a storm with all its wonder raging in her lover's eyes. She had to ride the heat of passion like a comet burning bright, rushing headlong in the wind,

out where only dreams have been, burning both ends of the night. That is a good chorus. Burning both ends of the night. I mean, that is, I mean, burning both ends of the night. That is a good chorus. Burning both ends of the night. I mean, that is, I mean, burning both ends of the night. That means you're staying up until the morning, man. Yeah, I mean, that means you're making love at both ends of the night.

Hold on, what? This is about making love? Maybe. Second verse. That summer wind was all around me. Oh, okay. So they're outside. Nothing between us but the night.

Yep. And when I told her that I'd never. So they're naked. She softly whispered, that's all right. And then I watched her hands of leather. Okay, she's 80. Turn to velvet in a touch. Well, hands of leather. Okay, she's 80. Turn to velvet in a touch. Well, hands of leather?

Well, okay, 80 is like age spots. I have some age spots. No, no, okay, again, I'm placing this woman, she's a farm woman. She's worked the land, she's been in the sun. Well, she may not have worked the land necessarily, but she's working for herself now. She's a widowed woman that lives out on the plains.

Yeah, she's working the land. You know, at this time, he's singing this song in the 90s. It probably, of course it didn't happen to him, but if it happened to him, then it would have happened in like the 80s, 70s. Sunscreen, not really a thing. I think you can have leathery skin at 40, honestly.

Okay, let's say she's 40. But lonely widow woman? Well, he- We're pushing late 40s. No, I think, you know, he got some sort of like, I don't know, a young man's disease, what's that? Benjamin Button? No, I mean, he died young in a car accident, tractor accident, I don't know.

Oh, the husband. Yeah. She's 46. Let's say she's 43. I think you gotta push upper 40s, man. Hands of leather, he's really selling it here. Fine. Then I watched her hands of leather turn to velvet.

The velvet in a touch. There's never been another summer when I have ever learned so much. So he just leaves the verse there. She had a need to feel the thunder. He goes back into the course, chase the lightning from the skies. Watch a storming all this wonder raging in her lover's eyes.

Well, she taught him things. Ride the heat of passion. Things that she had learned on the farm. Rushing, rushing what? Headlong. Rushing headlong. You know where the head is. Long.

Mm-hmm, in the wind. Now where only dreams have been. He's fantasized, someone's fantasized, it might be her about this. Now this is, let me just say, okay, I'm gonna be a little vulnerable here and I appreciate not being immediately judged for it, but I'm sure I will be.

But I just gotta say that for most, when we were in high school, most boys without exception had a fantasy to get with a teacher, okay? I'm just gonna say it was highly inappropriate. I'm not saying it's- You don't even have to say most boys, but yeah, it was a trope.

It was common. I am staking my claim on most boys had a fantasy about being with a teacher if there was what they would consider a hot teacher at the school, okay? Seemed like a great idea to me. There you go. We're two boys. Our sample size is two

and we both thought it would be awesome. Yeah. And so, and I'm not commenting on the morality of any of that. I'm just saying that this is something that, this is a fantasy that lives in the minds and the loins of many teenage boys. And I think that Garth understood that in a powerful way.

And so I think that's why this song was so popular, but nobody wanted to talk about it. Nobody wanted to admit that's why it was popular. Give me the third verse, because I wanna see if we can remember how much we processed. Okay. But you can't leave out the third verse.

I often think about that summer. Okay, so now he's looking back on it. How does he feel about it now? The sweat, the moonlight, and the lace. Okay. And I rarely held another when I haven't seen her face. Oh, wow. Her wrinklyly leathery face.

And every time I pass a wheat field and watch it dancing with the wind, although I know it isn't real, I just can't help but feel her hungry arms again. Wow. So there's a bit of, it defined sexuality for him in a lot of ways, you know?

It's like this kind of, he's been saddled with it. He's been saddled with that experience and- But he's taking the lessons that she taught him into every subsequent relationship. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but he's like still seeing her. He's like obsessed with her. She was his sensei.

She's dead now, you know? She aged out. Well, that's hard living out there, the wind. Right, it's like- Boy, you're right into the grave. Was it only older women from there on out? I don't know. Older women make beautiful lovers.

That is another song. Yeah, not gonna read those lyrics. Do you remember, like, just really, really jiving with these lyrics? I don't. Okay, I'm gonna be, another step in vulnerability. Oh, here we go. I'm gonna say that I am 90% sure.

Try to tell me like you would if you were Tretch. You know, you gotta veil it a little bit. No, no. Well, no, I'm speaking mathematically. I am 90% sure that 30% of the time that I listened to this song, I had an erection. Oh. 90% sure that 30% of the time.

90% sure that 30% of the time. So almost positive that a third of the time that I listened to the song that I got an erection. Well, you're really saying you could like, it almost like you're saying 23% of the time with 100% certainty, if I don't, you had an erection. So that's still almost a quarter of the time. It means I probably had an erection.

Yeah. So yes, to your- In the backseat of the car with your parents? I said that they didn't, they knew what was up. They didn't ask me to sing this one. Yeah, but it comes on the radio. Yeah, no, I'm talking about alone in my room, passionately singing this,

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That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, terms apply. I have something that's almost directly related, but role reversal, so I wanna go there next. But before I do, I just wanna acknowledge that like, nowadays, the stuff that you can get on, like I was like, I'm gonna pick a different Spotify playlist

besides rap caviar to listen to while I'm coming down this mountain. I was like, I'm gonna put on Feeling Myself. This is another playlist, the hip hop playlist that's a whole mood. I was like, oh, I need a mood going down this mountain. Well, it turns out it's basically all female rappers. You've got like Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj,

Doja Cat, Erica Banks, Koi LeRae. But I mean, so, I mean, especially by the time WAP comes along, I mean, it's like, yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy. Like this is- Pretty explicit, yeah. Again and again and again,

just referring to, it's a female empowerment song. It's like, hey, I like sex. I have sex organs. I have desires and I can be in charge and I can say how I want this done. And I can say what I bring to the table and I can say how I want this done. And I can say what I bring to the table and I can not apologize for anything.

And so there's this whole movement that, you know, you've got, I'm just trying to slut this N word out, slut him out, gargle on his kids, then spit them in his mouth. Oh my goodness. I told him slurp me up like spaghetti. He thought he was a freak till he met me. Oh gosh.

And now I'm finna show him what it's bout. Gargle on his kids? Yeah, so this is baby Tate, slut him out again. You know, there's a... Jenna, correct me if I'm wrong here. Jenna's the expert here. But this is like, hey, as a female, they're saying, I can engage in lyrical sexuality as well.

This is not something that should be reserved for the men back in the 80s and 90s. This is something that, hey, it's my body, it's my desires, it's my world. Slurp up my spaghetti. Oh, right. You know? Mm-hmm.

And it's just so out there. I mean, first of all, what is radio anymore? But like, this is just out there. I mean, I give all, what is radio anymore? But like, this is just out there. I mean, I give a family account to, and then like there's age restrictions for like Lando, but like, I mean, Lincoln's 17, Louie's off of college. I mean, Lando would implement his own age restrictions. I don't think you actually have, you don't have to do it.

But you know, it's, where is this gonna go from here? I don't know, but it seems like it's, we fully arrived at like, I'm putting my sexuality out there and I'm speaking about it in explicit terms and it's mainstream. The way we talked about NWA, like there was a lot of misogyny, lots of problems with that objectification, you know,

the list goes on and on. But for something that can be, to some people could be equally as offensive because of the words and concepts that are used. But then it's like, yeah, when I heard about WAP, I was like, why is this being celebrated? This is like, I feel embarrassed. You know, this is very explicit.

And so what I said is how I began to understand it. So you're saying that like- It's such a progression. If you go back to Garth Brooks and this 46 year old wheat farmer's wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What she was really saying when she was saying, she wants to ride the thunder, she was like,

come slurp my spaghetti is what she, and now this- Stir my cowboy chili. This many years later, it's just, you can just say it, just say it directly. But in 1997, if you listen to the group Next sing Too Close, "'Baby When We're Grinding'," that's right.

"'I Get So Excited,' mm. "'Oh How I Like It,' I try but I can't fight it. "'Ooh You're Dancing Real Close, "'Plus It's Real Real Slow. Ooh, you're dancing real close. Plus it's real, real slow. Now you know what you're doing, don't you? You're making it hard for me. I think I know what he means. And then the girl starts singing and she's like,

step back, you're dancing kind of close. I feel a little poke coming through on you. And this is pre-Facebook. Right. That was just a weird song back in 1997. It's like on the radio. Yeah, talking about the, just the dancing dynamic of I'm experiencing an erection.

Uh-huh, yep. Something you don't have to worry about when you're just in your room alone with Garth Brooks. I mean, that was just a weird song. I mean, you hear this song on the radio and it's just like, this is just, yeah, this does happen. This is something to be aware of. This is educational, but this is a bit too blatant.

Like there's not, you know, it's easy. You wanna criticize, oh, it's not that artistic. But again, I don't wanna start applying that to Megan Thee Stallion. Well, you mentioned WAP. I'd like to meet her with a clean conscience and say, I've never said anything negative about you. Like, I think you're a great person.

Let's be friends. You mentioned WAP. You know, someone else was talking about wetness back in the day, MC Hammer. Oh, you're gonna go, you're gonna do this. Yeah, so I'm going back to MC Hammer because what MC Hammer represents is how on the same album, in fact, almost back to back,

but actually there was a song in between. You're talking about the, when he blew up, we're talking, You Can't Touch This Days, that album. Actually, I don't think that these two, I think these two might be on Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Him. Oh. Which is the second album. And then the third that blew up was... No, no, no, it's on Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Him.

That's what I said. Yeah, that's the one with You Can't Touch This. Oh, I thought the Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Him was... Oh, okay, okay. So it was the first one. No, it's his second album. That's when he really blew up. So You Can't Touch This was on Please Hammer Don't Hurt Him.

Yep, that's what I've been trying to say. All right. 1990. So- It's his third studio album. Again, as white kids in Buies Creek, North Carolina at the time, You Can't Touch This was just like,

it was just something, you know, it just was like spoon feeding us with. Yeah, when you're 12 years old, it's amazing, man. So on this album, there's two songs and I'm gonna read the lyrics to kind of, this was confusing for me at the time because we had soft and wet.

Yes. And then we had pray, we gotta pray. Just to make it today. Almost back to back. I'm gonna run through this pretty quickly. Soft and wet. Yeah. Soft and wet, that's how we like them.

Soft and wet, yo baby come here. Yo baby, tell me what's your name? They call me Hammer and I'm Rose from the game. I see your face. It stands out from the crowd. Move a little bit closer. Let me be your style. I'm crazy, baby.

I'm crazy about your love. Let me tell you about myself. Now, I'm a little bit different than the average Joe. I like my girls and then I like a little bit Mo. Excuse me, girl. I don't mean no disrespect, but tell me girl, are you soft and wet? Yeah. Crazy baby. I'm crazy about your love.

I'm gonna tell you, I know how I like them. I like them soft and wet. I like them soft and wet, check it out. You say you want me, well, I want you too. You say you need me girl, then I need you. You say you love me, well, I love you too. But there's a few things that we got to do. I'm crazy, baby.

I'm crazy about your love. How we like them homeboys? Soft and wet. Yeah. I told you we like them. Soft and wet. Let me explain myself again. Soft and wet.

How we like them in the front? Soft and wet. My homeboys in the back, how you like them? Oh, they're like them in the front? Soft and wet. My homeboy's in the back, how you like them? Oh, they're talking about not the front and back of the partner, talking the front and back of the room. Yeah, I got you, got you with that. All you need to say for this part is soft and wet. Pop it up, pop it up, pop it up.

Soft and wet. Soft is the- I don't know this song because I would always fast forward on the tape. It made you uncomfortable. I would not listen to this song. It wasn't a good song. As a 12 year old, I would not do it. Soft is the feeling of your baby smooth skin. Great.

So we're not talking leathery hands here. Is he about to describe the wet then? Wet is the feeling that says, let the hammer in. Okay. You know what the hammer is. Soft and sexy. It's his rap moniker. It's his rap name. You got it that way. Wet is what happens when is. Soft and sexy. It's his rap moniker. It's his rap name.

You got it that way. Wet is what happens when we both start to play. Good she is, I should know. Hype, the feeling with my ninja starts to grow. So he just admitted to it being normally hidden? Well, he's a grower, not a shower. It's okay. I think he's saying he's unc grower, not a shower, it's okay. I think he's saying he's uncircumcised.

It's hooded. Oh, wow, Link, that is some insight. You're right. Yeah. MC Hammer is not circumcised. I've never seen it. But yeah, it seems that he's uncircumcised. And we met him from a distance at a party,

but I couldn't tell from that distance. He lost his phone. He was also clothed. He made an announcement from the DJ booth. If anybody finds Hammer's phone, bring it to me. Yeah. I'm Hammer. I'm Hammer. Okay. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder

that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm gonna guess for some of you, that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic. Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President.

And welcome to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. It's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll

or on the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. Yeah, and then pray was right after that. So it's like, all right. And then when you get, I don't know, hard and dry, we can go to church. Okay, so this is just called pray. Pray was actually a single, which is weird. That's word, we pray, pray, pray.

Are you trying to cleanse us by reading these lyrics? I don't wanna hear the Pray lyrics. It did come, well, I think- This song sucked. Just really- We got to pray just to make it today. Make it today. I said we pray, pray. Pray. Oh yeah, we pray. Pray.

We got to pray just to make it today. I listened to this one because I felt like it was Christian. Yeah, it's pretty simple message here. But I think that the thing I didn't understand is that in my particular worldview at the time, the softness and the wetness, which I was obviously very into the idea of,

that wasn't something that God wanted for me yet. And I don't believe that Hammer was talking about his wife. You know what I'm saying? Right. So like we can talk about softness and wetness. If you're talking about your wife, Song of Solomon, right? Okay, yeah, it's in the Bible, but you probably shouldn't make a song about it,

you know, keep it in the bedroom. But I was just like, man, he's like talking about this thing but then he's praying. I mean, if you can put it in the Bible, you can make a song about it. Right. But then he's praying and he's not apologizing for it. I didn't understand.

You know, and now it's like, I can understand it now. and he's praying and he's not apologizing for it. I didn't understand. And now it's like, I can understand it now. I'm a spiritual being, I'm a sexual being. And I'm not gonna speak into the culture that Hammer came from beyond the fact that like, okay, there's a church element and there's a sexual element. I mean, and it's not just, so I'm not saying anything really about black culture

or growing up in Oakland or wherever he was from. I think it's true to, it's a human truth, you know? We're sexual beings, we're spiritual beings. And also, wetness is an important part of the process. I mean, let's just be honest, right? I mean, that's an indication that we're all on the same page. I mean, obviously the main indication is verbal consent. Let me be clear about that.

But I'm saying that. Yeah, and also being of an age of consent. Right, and as we established, he was 18. Garth was 18 when he made love with that 46 year old wheat farmer. Well, I need to take us to another place that's a little- Don't get it twisted. Well, I'm gonna twist it.

Oh gosh. Okay. Cause first of all, I wanna talk about "'Knockin' the Boots," which is, you know, an H-town song from the nineties. Give me some good love, somebody rockin' knockin' the boots. I can't not sing it. Wow, that's a good one.

Give me some good love, some body rock and knockin' the boots. Now, knockin' the boots, as it turns out, was an old Western slang. Yeah, because- From the cowboy days. The boots. But in the 90s, you got all of these rappers

wearing Timbalands. They're wearing boots. And then they're talking about like- Do you think it's from where you're wearing the boots while making love? Because I always pictured it was you had the boots off and they were next to the bed and the bed is moving the floor.

And so the boots are going up and down on the floor. You think people are wearing shoes making love? That's where- Boots? That's where, I have the answer to that question. Back in the Western era where it first came about, yeah, it was like, you're putting your boots under the bed. Whose bed have your boots been under? Okay.

Shout out to Shania. But I owned the Bell Bibb DeVoe poison tape. Poison, poison. 1990. But another single off of that was called Do Me. They played that at our fricking dance. Do Me was played at our dance. Again, 12 years old, 13 years old.

Take a look at me, tell me, do you like what you see? Do you think you can? Do you think you can do me? Kiss me, pretty baby. Touch me all over. Girl, what makes you think you can do me? Do you think you can do me, girl? Do me, baby.

Ho, oh. Do me, girl. Do me, baby. Ho, oh. Do me, baby. Do you think you can? Do, oo, oo, oo, me. Baby. Do me, baby. Second verse. Got it, do me.

Girl, let your hair down. Take off your clothes and leave on your shoes. Ah, yes. Would you mind if I looked at you for a moment? That is kind of sexy. Before I make sweet love. Then the other guy comes in. I think this is, I don't know if it's Bell Biv or Devoe,

but I, yeah, I need to throw one of them under the bus. Backstage, underage adolescent. "'How you doing?' "'Fine,' she replied. "'I sighed. "'I like to do the wild thing.' "'Action took place. "'Kinda wet.

"'Don't forget. The J, the I, the M, the M, the Y. Why y'all? That's the Jimmy. Jimmy, the condom. I need a body bag. You gotta wear. So his only concern was wearing a condom.

Good gracious, what year was this? 1990. So yeah, this is troubling, right? Backstage. Slightly problematic. Underage adolescent. How you doing? Fine, she replied. Action took place.

This is not good. This is, I mean, this is like the commission of a crime in a song. Yeah, but this is not the type of thing. I don't know, this was on the radio. Ah, it just makes me feel uncomfortable, you know? And it's, and again, it's not about- This is not the only song that spoke of such things.

But you, oh yeah, that's true. For many, many, many years. This is probably the very end of, I would say that by the end of the 90s, no one's talking about this in popular music. Yeah, but there was a lot of like- I think the 90s was the ushering out of this being something that like, yeah, we could talk about this

and try to make it seem like it's okay by talking about it. You know, so. It's just a weird, bad, bad choice of a lyric. But there was a lot of like very overt, let's sing about sex. Like, I mean, but there was some female empowerment happening back then. You got like Salt-N-Pepa with like Shoop.

And then after that was, let's talk about sex. You know, they were very empowered, but they were in, so definitely a precursor to what we're seeing today. And so they were doing good work, in my opinion, but you got people like Color Me Bad, which had to add an extra D on the end. It's like, well, you're compensating for something. You're literally adding another D at the end of bad.

And then they opened that pottery place. After that. Yeah, that is the best thing. 1991, TikTok you don't stop to the TikTok you don't stop. Yeah, girl, you make me feel real good. We can do it till we both wake up. It's like, oh, really? In my experience, we can both do it in our sleep.

Yeah, yeah, that's potentially problematic as well, depending on your interpretation of those events. I think it just means let's do it into the morning and I think it just made a- I do think it's possible though. You can fall asleep in the act of coitus. I mean, if you're- I think the act of coitus stops

the point you fall asleep. When you're done, but you stay in position. Yeah, well. I mean, there's that, what's that all? I'm a very large man. My wife is pretty small. I don't think this is a- What are you talking about?

I'm saying- You're talking about your entire body? I weigh 215 pounds. Okay, yeah, you're talking about your whole body. I just wanted to clarify that. I don't know, you're the one who brought this up. The night where I fell asleep inside you, that like. Oh, Merle Haggard talked about that, kind of.

No. He talked about falling asleep on the floor. The night we made love in the hallway and slept all night long on the floor is the Merle song. He didn't specify it, they were still conjoined. That's how I've always pictured it. I'm talking about the Third Eye Blind song. Okay.

Anyway, to get back to this, where's my tab? Yeah, I wanna sex you up. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I wanna sex you up. All night, girl, you make me feel good. I wanna sex you up. Like this was just happening you make me feel good. I wanna sex you up. Like this was just happening on the radio. There was no, you know,

it was the point where that just started happening. I remember the first time I was riding in the car with my mom and like that George Michael song came on, I want your sex. And my mom was just singing it. I've told this story before because it's just, it really scarred me. Good gracious. I don't want you, no sex's just, it really scarred me. Good gracious.

I don't want your sex. Oh, it scarred you? But she's the one who gave you the pamphlet. It was pretty good though, you know, it was a good message. She went to the health department. It was like, my mom's just jamming in the car. I don't want your sex.

Like, hey mom, I'm also in the car. Can you just wait until I'm not in the car to sing this George Michael song? So, but then by the early 90s, it was like, yeah, how can we just be blatant? Do me, I want your sex. I wanna sex you up. But if you listen, in fact,

recently when I was back home, my parents were talking about their favorite song and boy, I wish I could remember it. But it was like- Rockin' Robin. It was like a 1950s song, and they were like, you know, we listened to that song and we realized it's really dirty. And I don't remember what it was.

Yeah, that's the fun of it. But basically, it was about, yeah, it was about just getting into bed and making love, and it was a little bit more coded than the stuff is today. But I think that's the thing, is that we have this perception. I think this is one of the points that you're making when you talk about the WAP thing,

especially from our background of being sort of culturally conservative for a really long time, you have this tendency to think that, the disposition is to think that things are devolving morally over time, right? That's how we used to think, right? Is that things are getting worse, right?

People are, the standards are getting lower. Whereas when you have a progressive mindset, you think about it from a different standpoint, which is people are getting more rights. People are getting more acceptance. People are, you know are able to express themselves in ways that they used to not be able to express themselves due to oppression or whatever.

Yeah. And I think that that's true. But the point I find interesting is that everyone's always been talking about these things. Everyone's always been singing about them. Everyone's always been talking about these things. Everyone's always been singing about them. Everyone's always been writing about them. And just because the curtains are pulled back a little bit more and it's a little bit more honest

and explicit, and I'm saying the word explicit literally means like very, very clear and unveiled. Spelled out. And how does that make it worse, I think is the question. Yeah, you were singing about the same thing 50 years ago. You're still singing about it. You know, there's some things that are problematic, like being able to spot the actually problematic thing,

like you spotted in that Bell Biv DeVoe song. It's like, oh, now we're talking about somebody being taken advantage of. Now we're talking about a power imbalance. now we're talking about somebody being a take advantage of, now we're talking about a power imbalance. Now we're talking about somebody's will and rights being violated in like an underage situation. Like that's the piece of that that we need to be able to recognize.

It isn't the fact that someone's saying do me. Right. Is the bad thing. People have been saying do me since the dawn of time. And by the way, that's how we all got here because somebody did somebody. You know what I'm saying? So it is- They could have done it in the morning.

They could have done it in the night. They could have done it when they want to do it. Just do me. And so even something that to me seemed very incongruous back in the day to hear Hammer talk about soft and wetness, softness and wetness, and then praying two songs later. I think the point is, is that Hammer may have understood more than we gave him credit for at the time.

Now, I do not believe his music holds up, but I'm not looking back with the same kind of judgment that I had at the time. You Can't Touch This was an unbridled, undeniable pop hit and it has to hold up. I do not accept that, that particular song. Well, mostly because it was like a baseline from another song that was actually really good.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, if you're gonna co-op Rick James, Super Freak, then you're off to a good start. Yeah, so all you gotta do is just be like- That shit holds up. I'm gonna just keep playing this loop and it's never gonna get old. I feel like we learned a lot.

I mean, there's been, you know, I love playing music in the house. Like profanity is something that we tried to not just let run around blatantly in our house as the kids were younger, but like Lando's finally gotten to a point where he's like, all right, I've lost this battle. You know, this is just part, this is reality.

People say these things. He doesn't, he's not happy with it, but he doesn't like exit the room anymore. And he'll ask nicely if I'm playing something that is- Too many curse words. Too much. But again, to me, it's not about the curse words, it's about like the content of what he's saying.

Is he about to get an education at 12 that he's not ready for? I'm not gonna play that. No, I'm not gonna play that in the house. I'm not gonna play that in the car. I'm not gonna play WAP in the car with my kid. Like somebody expressing themselves with some colorful language.

I just think that's, you know, that's self-expression. It's language. I think you should start with soft and wet. You know, you start with soft and wet and then you move to WAP. If you want my advice. I mean, there's definitely like a profanity playlist that I could create.

That would be funny, like to create a like, by the end of this playlist, you're gonna be totally debauched. Like, that would just be a funny exercise. I think he'll get there on his own. Just through peers. I'm like the- You're the dad who's like trying to get yourself to-

No, no, no, I'm the sex education DJ. Like I'm gonna take you down on a musical journey. Well, we were talking about you needing a helmet, maybe you just wear a giant condom over your face. What if you- The breathing is gonna be an issue. No, no, it looks like you can't breathe, but that's the-

I don't wanna be a- I don't wanna be a- If you were a DJ who- A personified condom. But think about it. No, this is just one idea. All the schools would invite you. This is not-

All the public schools would invite you. You'd be like a part of the program. I'm not a clown, dude. They're like the condom, DJ Condom is DJ Jimmy. Is coming. Jimmy Hat. Jimmy Hat is coming to our school dance. Who's that? Well, I think it's that guy from Good Mythical Morning.

He's also a DJ who wears a condom over his head. Okay, I'm gonna put Jimmy hat on the list, but I'm not gonna be a mascot condom. What if you just wear a hat? Yeah, I'm saying. And if you look closely, you see that it's made of like condom wrappers. If you looked closely, oh, he is wearing a Jimmy hat.

Just something to think about. Cause it's a sex education thing. You're the safe sex guy and you're like fulfilling your mother's life work at the health department. That pamphlet that she gave you back in the day about softness and wetness is now coming to fruition as you're teaching all the children about safe sex through cool music. You know, I do have my next gig.

Oh yeah, I know about it. Are you expecting to be paid for that? Because it's at my home. No, hold on. No. You're bringing your top, your setup. Yeah, I'm wearing a top. And are you gonna be tapping into my sound system?

We gotta figure that out, yes. I mean, I don't know, I'm not renting a sound system, that's on you. So, well, my sound system, you can tap into it through just like either Apple or like a Google, like you can cast to it. Can DJ Jimmy hat do that? We need to do a test.

You need to test this. Where are you setting up? You need to start thinking about all this. I'll consult, but that's an extra fee. Just so you know. If I gotta show up. Just so you know, we're doing like a little graduation party for Locke

that includes, it's not like all his friends, that's a different thing. Oh, really? Well, no, it is. I thought I was DJing for your son and his friends. No, no. Which could sound sad, but I'm excited about it. No, no, no, it is his friends,

but it's mostly like the families that he kind of knows and kind of grew up around. And also his like, his very closest friends. So it's not like, hey, I'm inviting everybody from my school. I don't know how, I mean, actually- I don't wanna do that. I'm not involved in the planning. That's not what I want. I thought this was just like all of his friends.

This is like a real party that needs a real DJ. Well, you need to talk to my wife. She's the party planner. Like if there's gonna be a bunch of adults and I'm sitting there like, why is Link DJing over there? Why is he not at the party? That's gonna feel weird. But can't you get it going and then walk away?

Yes, I feel like, but. You said that you wanted to do barbecues. Yeah. And I assume that you still wanted to be a part of the action. Well, that's not DJing. In the conversation. That's not real.

I think you may be inventing a new style of DJing, which is like, I am a member of the party, but I'm also the DJ. Okay, all right. I'm sure that this is a thing that exists. I can do that, but that's not what I thought I was signing up for. You thought you're going to like a booth

and you're gonna be like protected from everyone? Yeah, I don't wanna be touching these teenagers. I don't want them to be like getting in my space. Well, we need to talk. We need to talk more about this. Okay. I wanted to do a cool party with kids. It's gonna be a cool party.

Not some kids. It's gonna be a cool party. Not a- Some kids. Not my friends. There might be more kids than I realize. Honestly, I don't know. All right, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it later. You have a rec? It's my rec. You know what I recommend?

I recommend us ending this episode with some of the voicemails that we've gotten that allude to previous episodes. So as we talked about, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna recommend that you keep listening as we shut this episode down. But can I say that? Yeah. I don't necessarily want this to necessarily mean

that we can't also have a rec and voicemails. We reserve the right to have recs and voicemails. I have a rec. It's continue listening to the closing voicemails. And if you wanna leave one, 1-888- EarPod One. I listen, I love listening to these messages. Thank you for calling.

It's cool. Some people are correcting us. Some people are answering questions that we ask. Some people are giving perspectives on things. And like these two, you're going to hear some people are just telling us some funny tidbits from their lives. Hi, my name is Jackie. So I just had to share a funny coincidence with you guys. So this morning on my way to work, I was listening to the episode, the Ear Biscuits episode, where Link was sharing Lewis's memoir.

And just as he got to the part where he was talking about where he's reading the section of Lewis living in D.C. and running up and down the Washington Monument, I, on my morning commute, was driving past the Washington Monument, which was just such like a cool coincidence. And that then reminded me, several years ago now, there was an episode, and I can't remember the details of it, but I know that there was someone called Mr. Noodle. And I was also driving while listening to it, and a minivan pulled in front of me, and the license plate was noodle, which again, such a weird coincidence. So, you know, that's two times that your biscuits has lined up with something that I am experiencing currently

in my real-world life, which, you know, is only two times, but it's two whole times. So anyway, cool. Thought I'd share that with you. Thanks for all the fun stories. Bye. This is kind of random, but I was listening to, I think it was your most recent Ear Biscuit,

about planning days for each other. And Rhett's rec was to just go to the doctor if something hurts. days for each other and that's rec was to just go to the doctor if something hurts and that's really funny because my wrist has been bothering me all day and I think it's from an injury I had in high school which was maybe like six or seven years ago at this point so and I keep thinking in the back of my head I should probably go to an orthopedist orthopedist and get this checked out but I just haven't done it so maybe I just needed Rhett to tell me to go do it so thank you Rhett you rock