Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Should You Break Up Over A Bird?

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

We listen to your voicemails and give advice on some very unique problems.

Is overfeeding birds a reason to break up? Welcome to Good Mythical Moore. We have a phone number, and if you call it and ask us to help you out with stuff, we might play that voicemail like we're about to do here on this episode of Good Mythical More, and then make your life perfect. Jenna, what's the number? 1-833 GM Moore 1. 1-833 GM more one.

You got some good ones for us, Jenna, or what? Oh, yes, we got some good ones today. All right, what's first? Hey, Rhett. Hey, Link. Oh. Recently, my boyfriend got a new bird feeder outside, and I visited him a couple weeks ago. And the birds that I saw before are actually super fat now.

And I wanted advice on what I should do. Should I kill my boyfriend, or should I take out the bird feeder? Okay, thanks. Let me know. Did she say kill her boyfriend? Kill her boyfriend? Okay. Yeah, that's all you can do.

You can either kill him or take the bird feeder. Okay. I guess the writers wrote the options. I believe that there might be some other ways to approach this that don't involve killing your boyfriend. How do birds get fat? By overeating. I mean, a fat bird can't fly.

If you're an obese bird, I have to think you can't fly. I think it probably impacts your flight, yes. I don't know if it means you can't fly, but it means flying's harder. But is fat birds, first of all, fat birds, great restaurant name. I mean, it should be a restaurant name if it's not. You made a fat birds?

Fat birds. It's a wings place and they got big, or maybe just a chicken place. I don't know, fat birds. Yeah, if it's a chicken place, maybe if it's a body shop. I actually think it's a better name for a body shop. Body shop's usually named after a person. Yeah, but they shouldn't.

They should be named something like Fat Birds Body Shop. And maybe that's his nickname. It's a good name for either a body shop or a restaurant. Terry Fat Birds, blankmanship. But are fat birds really a problem? Because I'm not a bird watcher and I've actively resisted becoming a bird watcher. Because they're so hard to see.

Yeah. You wanted to be bigger? In fact, Jesse and I were recently walking in North Carolina and we saw a striking bird, very, very yellow, black and yellow. And she's like, ooh, what is that bird? And I said, I don't want to know. I don't want to become a bird watcher. I said, I'm resisting.

You looked away. You're like, oh, don't tell me. Because the moment that you start trying to figure out what a bird is and then what another bird is, you become a bird watcher. And maybe I'll do that when I get older, but I don't want to do that yet. And then what? What's so wrong with being? I mean a bird washer.

I don't wanna know. But what I'm saying is, if I was to be a bird watcher, I think watching fat birds would be the best kind of bird watching. More to watch. And also they move away more slowly. And they have trouble flying, and so they stick around. The thing about little birds, skinny birds, they flitter and flutter.

Which is not a great name for a restaurant, but it's a good name for like a popcorn. Skinny birds popcorn, you know? Yeah. That would be, those are you. But they're not fun to watch. You wanna watch fat birds if you are gonna be watching birds. And if you've got a bird feeder,

I agree with that. Why do you have a bird feeder to watch birds? So fat birds are better for a bird watching. I'm really feeling this fat bird phenomenon. I think it can catch on. It's the only type of bird I wanna watch because I got you. I get afraid of birds.

Like I remember that time that this was back when we lived in North Carolina, there was like this, noise in our attic. And then I went up there and I'm looking around and I'm scared already. And it was like, I was like, is it a bat? It's something's flying around.

It wasn't scurrying on the ground. And then it was this blackbird. I don't know if it was a blackbird, but it was a smaller blackbird with like a needle like protrusion on its face. What's that called? A beak, yes. It had a needle-like beak, and it would fly and like buzz me,

and then it would be over there on the side, and then it would be looking at me. And I could just see that thing going right into my eyeball. It hated you. They're just so unpredictable, and they move so quickly, and they change direction, and they're so light. And if it was a fat bird, it would have just, like, slowly lumbered across the air.

It never would have gotten in there. Landed it on your hand, you could have grabbed it. Never would have gotten in there. I mean, my type of bird, is the fat guy. So what we're saying is... Marry that man. Yeah, you need to stick with this guy.

You do not need to kill him. And you need to let him continue to make the birds fat. Yeah. But if you do kill him, feed him to the birds. Oh yeah, because they'll get fatter. You got any... Oh, yes. Yes, I want you to have these hot car bars right now.

We earned it. I want it. You guys have an obsession with something. They have a fixation. Oh, they're still about my... I spit so hard you need windshield wiper. Link's had a fad ass since he was in diapers. I mean, spit so hard you need a windshield wiper,

that's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me one more. I love transporting stuff in my automobile. So much junk in my truck, they call me Link Neal. I love transporties stuff. In my automobile. All right.

I like out of the syllables. Give me one more. You know, rule of threes. Okay, here we go, okay, okay. If driving fast is a crime, then go ahead and book us. We're on our way to see Link's juicy took us. I've been in the gym. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, you have? Yeah, yeah. And I feel like the top is like really getting a little, there's a little bit more on the top. Are you focusing on it? I, you know, I'm just trying to give a general wellness, fitness. You're trying to become a fat bird? Fat bird's gym.

I think I'm turning into a fat bird on the top there. Okay, good. All right. Jenna, do we have another one? Why did you pick it? I picked this one because it's advice and you should give it. Okay. Well, sometimes it's just as simple as that. Hey, mythical beef. How's it going, Red and Link?

You know, I'm a big fan of yours. I love you guys, Rhett and Link. I've been watching all five of your channels for a very long time. And, yeah, I would say I'm a pretty big fan. And I would say I'm also Andrew from Upstate. State New York. Thanks for that. I was wondering if I would love to get advice

on how to get a pretty girl's number without being too awkward or direct. Okay. Oh, you don't have anything to worry about. Up to your week. And yeah, I would love to get feedback on that. Thank you so much. All right.

Is it, it sounds like. Is he gone? Is it over, Jenna? It sounds like he like fell off of a skateboard and skid for a few seconds, And then started talking. Play the beginning of that call again? And then he got back on it.

Hey, Nicky. Okay, yeah. Yeah, he did a little flip kick. He wants to know how to get a girl's number, a pretty girl's number. I've never gotten any girl's number in my entire life. This is something that either of us have, we have no experience.

Back when we were dating, they didn't have numbers. We've been married for a really long time, and then before that, we were just dating in circles where it wasn't like, hey, can I get you a number? It was like, it just worked differently. Yeah, if you wanted her number, you just look on the youth group director. Right, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, that's the last time we were dating was in youth group. Yeah, and then when me and Christy were dating, her phone number, I mean, I did ask her for a number, but we were, I met her in person, and we started, we would see each other. I didn't have to ask, well, I did ask for her number, but it was not a pickup line.

I already knew her. and then it was her dorm number. Yeah. Was she shared with somebody? Well, she shared with somebody. It wasn't even really her number. And when I called it, sometimes a roommate would answer.

I remember that now. Can I speak to Christy? Yeah, what you'd say? Yeah, can't speak to Christy? Is Christy available? It's that time of the week when I talk to Christy. Yeah, you would call her once a week. Let's not get into the weirdness

with which you conducted your relationship. It's good to ease into a room. relationship and putting a limit on how often you talk on the phone is a weird way to do it. Yeah. I want to know, I want to know how you think about this as a woman who is approached by men asking for your number. Which you do have. What is, like, what are you looking for in this situation? I am looking forward to be direct, just ask for the number. I don't think it's that hard. I do it if I see a pretty man.

But you talk to him first. It's not the first thing you say, obviously. Not always. I have given my number without talking to someone before. So as a woman, it's more acceptable to give you. your number like than a man, right? I disagree. I think it's totally acceptable for a man to do that.

So the man- Double standard man. Is it, is it, are we on to something here? Is it better to give a number than to ask for a number? Because then the ball is totally in the other person's court. That's fair, actually.

Okay, well, I would, I would say, it's easier, but I, listen, I just- Like at the bottom of a fly, I don't know much about Andrew from upstate New York other than the voicemail that he just left. Yeah. And I just don't know if that's gonna be the best advice for Andrew.

Okay. I think Andrew might need to walk away with her number. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I think while I don't disagree with that, I think what he's asking for, and he specifically said non-direct, you're immediately saying, well, you gotta be direct. You do, yes.

If he hasn't met this person, I think going up and being like, hi, what's your name? A quick little chit-chat. I think you're really interesting, and I'd love to continue talking with you. Can we exchange numbers? I think that is the best direct way. You got to just buy the bullet and do it. You just have to do it.

And then you might get rejected by who-per. The worst thing that happens is rejection. People get rejected all the time. You get rejected from jobs. You rejected from like a cat not wanting to pet you, not wanting you to pet it. You know, like there's so much different types of rejection. you're going to be fine. Well, okay, case in point, here's a little anecdote.

I was, I will not say exactly who they were, but I was having dinner recently with some young single men who I am related to in different ways. Was it one of those K-pop groups? And we were at a restaurant, and the hostess was, by their estimation, hot. and they, and so when we left the restaurant, they started talking. They were like, they were like,

man, we should have got, one of us should have gotten her number, man. And so then they started talking about what they could do. And one of them had an idea that was to go back into the restaurant and be like, oh, you know what? I forgot your number. You forgot to get your number or something? Yes, he should have done that. Did he do that?

And they didn't do it. They chickened out and they didn't do it. But I, as the, you know, long-time married man in the group was like, I mean, that sounds like the best idea y'all come up with ever. To go back in there and be like, oh, excuse me, you know what, I forgot. And she's going to think that, oh, you forgot something in the restaurant. I forgot to get your number. And then she's probably going to laugh.

Yeah, she'll laugh, but then will she give the number? Who cares? Maybe she does. Just based on him being cute. I mean, Jenna, do you give somebody your number just based on? Don't you wanna, if somebody came up and in the first meeting they're like asking for your number, don't you have some like fundamental questions first? Like background check type vibes?

I think that's up to the individual. Like it, maybe. I don't mean a literal background check, but like something that's just like. Girls can do our own background checks on the back end when we have their number, we can cross-reference and find them very quickly. You don't understand how good girls are at finding things out.

Oh. I got a friend that I call who's basically my own private detective. Yeah, you got to have one of those. So when they give you their number, you're also asking for their legal name. Yeah, social security number. So you don't even need a legal name sometimes. Number can take you exactly where you need to go. And a couple little facts. Like if you know their first name and roughly their age and what they do. People are not hard to find. Yeah, that's right. Dennis right. I think what you're

getting at is something that makes sense to me. But then he has your number. Well, correct, but boys don't do the same thing as girls do when they go down the, down those deep dives. No, I'm just saying, but if you decide that you don't, you wish he didn't have your number, he's already got it. You block it. You block his number. But also, you make an assessment, a very quick assessment in the moment, like, based on his vibe, the way that he looks, like, you all, it isn't just how somebody looks, but women especially, in my observation, are very good at immediate like gut check evaluations of people and trusting their instincts is usually a good thing.

Intuition, they call it. And so I think that that gut level intuition is actually a lot of times a pretty good way to make a decision about whether or not there's gonna be something there. Because the thing is, so if you're usually, again, it is a double standard, but typically the way that it works

is a guy asking a girl for a number. And I think that a lot of guys think, well, I got to like have a conversation and then ask for the number. But having that conversation can be, especially in certain situations like, oh, she's at a restaurant, she's the hostess, and I think that if you just go in and you ask for the number,

sure, maybe there's a 70% chance you get rejected. But then if you do actually, it's easier to ask for the number than it is to have a conversation that works well and then leads to like an opportune time to ask for the men'smanship you're saying. If that's what you're interested in, it's not like a one minute conversation

is gonna give you that much more insight into the situation, just ask for the number. And you have more to lose by doing that because you tip her off something in your personality or something like. Yeah, like leave her, yeah. You might expose yourself. Like let's say a voicemail

where you're a little awkward, but in real life. So the advice we're giving now is for him to just immediately and just directly ask for the number without giving any information about himself or how there might be some awkwardness. Yeah, and if he was at a restaurant, going back in and saying, excuse me, I forgot to get your number.

That's a good one. But if it's just- Yeah, leave. Whenever you want somebody's number, always leave, so you can come back and say that. I will say a good, rather than just a number, because there are some women out there who, If you don't introduce yourself and give your name

and ask her name, they're not gonna give their numbers. So do a proper introduction with her. Learn her name besides pretty girl. And then ask for her number. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. That's what I was saying, Jen. Well, what I was saying was,

there's nothing better than that new car smell. Link's ass is activated like a sleeper sale. Like, so you're rapping about the smell of my ass? I'm a little lost. No, your ass is activated like a sleeper cell. Okay. But the smell is for the new car. Yeah, yeah, there's nothing better than the new car smell.

Okay. Link as is so fat, it's a crime like murder. Oh no, someone stole my catalytic converter. It happens. They're valuable, I guess, for like the metals in it or something. Okay. How about something that's not about your ass? Please.

Anything will do. My rap's flow hard, just like the Euphrates. I got a good lease on a new Mercedes. What a brag. But Jenna, before you play the next voicemail, so if you don't wanna give somebody your number, what do you say? No, thank you.

Yeah, reject them. Yeah, you say no thank you. Sometimes people can be mean back. I have been called a B word once because I said, no, thank you to giving my number. And I was like, okay. And that was confirmation that you were right and saying no. Exactly.

My intuition was correct. That is masterful. No, thank you. The power of no. The power of no. Okay, let's get another voicemail. This is Lily. I'm currently in Texas.

I've been a huge fan of y'all for probably 10 years at this point. Thank you. I'm about to move all the way. up to the Midwest for law school. And that's the finest I've ever been from home. So I'm just curious as people who moved out of their home state, what tips you have for dealing with homesickness, for dealing with being far away from family and friends.

And if you have any tips for how to be successful at that, thanks so much. And I hope I will hear from you guys soon. Good question. To me, the answer is bring your wife, your kids, and your best friend, and his wife, and their kids when you move to another state.

And at least you got a little pot of people. That's the best way to do it. This is why we don't have a lot of insight into this because, yes, we brought our whole lives with us in some way. Yes, we left some family back home, parents and whatnot in the place that you grew up. But it's something about, like, when you move with these people,

and you're also moving because of the thing that you're passionate about, which is like some, you know, your job and the thing that you're, like our life's work basically kind of brought us out here. But it's different when you're going out by yourself and you're going out for school because you're like going to like, okay, I'm preparing for this next stage of my life.

Jenna, when you moved out here, did you, you moved out with a friend, right? You didn't move out here alone. Correct, I moved out with my family. best friend, yeah. Yeah, so do that if you can't. I mean, if you're going to school, though, it's like you're entering this,

you're entering a world where a lot of people are doing that. So I think you can lean on that a little bit, that like it's not a forever thing. And it's a, yeah, and you've got tracks to run on called class. You've got class is to learn. I just think, um,

be homesick and, and, you know, sell some donuts, raise some money to go back at a nice interval. Find somebody else who's also homesick and connect with them. Yeah, and just have a downward spiral of emotions together. Hey, what about you reach out to the last guy and give him your number?

How about this? All of the rappers are rather inferior. My rhyme is are sleek and smooth like leather interior. There's a lot of syllables in that one. Okay, all right. Okay, this one, I'm gonna close you out with this one, okay? You can take this one. Close me out.

Keep it in your head the rest of the day. No thank you, she says. You're so square, you're like a straight-up cube. My rhymes get you wetter than a jiffy loo.