Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - The Longest Con We’ve Ever Come Up With | Ear Biscuits Ep. 443

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

We may have given our most diabolical advice yet. In this episode, Rhett & Link are joined by none other than Charles Neal himself! The three give some advice on how to get with your work crush when there are other factors in the way, how to tell your family you’ve eloped, as well as what to name a tug boat. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the roundtable of dim lighting, boy, we got a special guest. Charles Neal himself, host of the amazing podcast, Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. What's up, Dad? Just having a big time here at Mythical, so yeah, we... Yo, let me come on here, biscuits a little bit, so we're gonna see what happens.

Yeah, we are! We've been putting him to work. We're really milking you out here in Los Angeles. We bring you out here and just put you to work. How does that feel? Well, it's all right, cause I'm used to work. Yeah, you are. It's a little bit different

than what I'm used to. It's a different kind of work. Yeah, you're not gonna get your hands very dirty. Well, maybe you will, I don't know. We'll see what we have for you the rest of the week. I think there might be, it might get bloody, I don't know. There's a big event coming up this week, Good Mythical Evening, October 25th, that would be this Friday.

It is live, you can buy a ticket and dad's gonna be a part of it. Yeah, we're gonna be sexy, scary, and stupid. Who's sexy, who's scary, and who's stupid in this group? Uh, you know what? I'll take one for the team, and I will be sexy. Okay, I'll be stupid, and that means that you can be scary, Charles. Or do you wanna be sexy? I'm gonna be whatever y'all want me to be.

See? I'm easy to get along with. I'm cooperative here. He's just like me, so easy to get along with. Yeah, I don't, yeah. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah, what happened with that? You're like, the thing I notice about you is that you're down for anything, you don't really voice your opinions too much,

like you don't, you're not, you don't, I'm saying you don't like lead every conversation with your preferences. You're like, hey, I'm down for whatever, and did he just get all that from his mom? Oh no, he probably got a lot he got from me. But you know, when the things that y'all do, I don't know anything about.

And the best thing is you get older, you figure out, just keep your mouth shut and do what you're told. Oh, so you're telling me that as he gets older, it's gonna get better? It might. Because I feel like it's been getting worse. No, no, no, I know I'm getting weirder, but I'm getting more mellow, man.

I don't care about as much as I used to care about. Okay. We got some voicemails today, because we're getting a kick out of these voicemails and where they might lead. Yeah, and we're gonna get Charles' perspective instead of just the two of ours perspective. But y'all had a birthday dinner last night.

That's right. I heard the dinner. That would be correct. We are hurting this morning. We are suffering from a meat hangover, man, because we took Nancy out to a Brazilian steakhouse for her birthday. She declined the Brazilian wax, We took Nancy out to a Brazilian steakhouse for her birthday.

She declined the Brazilian wax, which was part of the birthday. Or the Brazilian butt lift. Oh, they did, yep. BBL? Oh yeah, that is what BBL stands for. Yeah, what'd you think it stood for? I never really thought about it. And I don't know what you thought about it.

Well, I have thought about it, but I haven't thought about it. You don't know what a BBL is? No? I never really thought about it. And I don't know what you thought about it. Well, I have thought about them, but I haven't thought about it. You don't know what a BBL is? I thought we talked about that on Dispatches once. We may have thought about it. Just Google it. Find a quiet place and Google it. You know, they bring out all the meats on the, what?

On a skewer. Yeah. On a skewer. Skewer, yeah. And I On a score. Score, yeah. And, um, I told you. I mean, the guy even told you when we sat down, now you need to pace yourself. Yeah. But that didn't happen.

There's a salad bar. They're attacking the salad bar. Dad's coming back with a plate full of salad bar. Mmm. Gotta go easy on the salad bar. I mean, there's like... I went pretty easy, but they had beef struggling off, and they had scalloped potatoes on the hot bar,

and they were really good, so I got a little bit of those. All before they start bringing out just reams of beef. Well, I didn't get that much, because I knew they were going to be better. I mean, hey, I may not get that much, because I knew they were going to be, but I mean, I mean, hey, I may not ever get to go back there again. Right, yeah. I'm going to try what they got. Get a lifetime supply while you're there.

So what happened? They don't have Brazilian steak houses down in Myrtle Beach. They got one in North Myrtle Beach, about 10 blocks from where we live. I'm not going there. Yeah, especially now. Now. Okay, so what happened?

Like, give me the play by play. What's the meat hanger feel like? My play by play is that I was up and down with the upset stomach all night. Oh no. And running back and forth to the bathroom. And then. He forth to the bathroom. Oh my gosh. And then. He had the meat runs.

Well, I meant he was running to the bathroom, but that sounded like. But this didn't happen to you, you slept okay? I did not sleep okay, I slept very uneasy. And I had a wild dream, I have to tell you about. And then when I woke up, I just couldn't eat breakfast. You know, if I miss my smoothie, that means something. I had to skip my smoothie this morning.

Oh no, we'll see how things go. Just feel like too much meat, man. The meat dreams. I had this dream that I was taking a group of people to Disney, I don't know if it was World Land, whatever it was, I didn't know half the people, but I drove a busload of people six hours to Disney. And we get there and security is just wild.

They're like searching stuff. And I wasn't worried. I don't have anything to hide. But then they pull me to the side and they're like, sir, we've got some concerns with you. And they're like running a test on my coffee mug, and then they're like coming back and saying that they've, and while they're running the test,

I reach in my back pocket and I pull out some sort of weird gun that I believe somebody has planted. I've never seen this gun. It didn't even, it looked more like a disassembled toy, but I knew it was a gun. So it was a Disney gun. Apparently.

Yeah. I kept it. Okay. And they hadn't found that. So then I've got this in my back pocket, and I'm like, getting real scared. And then they come back and say, we did a test on the lid of your coffee mug,

and we found some illicit substance. And at this point, I'm scared and also angry. Who's this toying with my coffee mug and putting firearms in my back pocket? And they said, you can't go in. And then I got so angry and embarrassed because I'd driven this group here. Yeah, you should have been embarrassed.

And you know how when you get so mad that you start to cry? I got so mad I started to cry. Wow. And, um, and they keep... That was one of his mama's traits. Okay, alright. Damn. Yeah, right.

Damn. So, uh, you don't get so mad you can cry, Dad? Hold on, when I get mad I ain't crying. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. You know, I mean, I'm not saying boohoo, like, wreck, in a puddle, I'm saying like your eyes start watering just like with anger. That's a different thing. Okay, okay.

All right, fine. That's not what I pictured, but okay. Okay. I was angry crying. Good thing you explained it. Yeah, thank you. And then, y'all gonna team up over here? Yes.

Let me bring you in here to take his side. I angry cry, I'm with you. Okay, Jenna. Yeah, yeah, Jenna's on my side. Help him out. Help him out. But we couldn't go in, so the people who had, they had done rides that were near the security thing,

we had to pull them all back and put them back in the bus, and as we were leaving to get in the bus, there was some waterway, and I fell into it. A lazy river? It was more of a pond. And then I'm being approached by these creatures, I would describe it as a cross between a manatee and an alligator. And I was in the water, treading water, and they were coming at me, I think to attack me. So I reached behind me and I grabbed a stick,

like a spear, like a javelin. Don't know where I got that from. Apparently they're everywhere at Disney. And did I murder the manatees? Yes. I just, I stabbed the hell out of these. I mean, they were also alligators. And they were coming at me.

Was this like a fat alligator? It was like a fat alligator. Yeah, cause it crossed between a manatee and alligator. That's a fine line. You know what I'm saying? I didn't know if it was friendly or not, but his mouth was open and they were coming at me. Okay, all right.

And I mean, I talk about skewer. I skewered the first one. I skewered the second one. I skewered the third one. Was it a trident? And then, no, it was one thing, a javelin. A unident. Yeah.

And I'm thinking people have gotta be seeing this. Just like- People gotta be watching you? Well, yeah. You put it on a show? It's at a park. And I'm like... And I was... I told Dad on the way in about this story, and I was like, you know what? It actually made me feel better to kill the manatees in my dream. Because I was feeling pretty bad. And I killed the fourth one.

And I get out of the water and act like nothing happened. Apparently nobody saw me. So we get to the bus, and I'm driving us out, and then somebody forgot something. So we had to turn around and go back. I'm like, shit. I'm gonna get caught now. I mean, I've already... they caught my illicit substance. I had thrown the gun in a trash can. And I felt sure that they caught that on video. At least you didn't shoot the manatees. No. I would never do that. You stabbed them.

Stabbed them to death. And self-defense. I really believe that. And people get upset when you do that. There's not many of those. Well, it was just as much alligator as manatee. It's not a real thing that exists. I love manatees. I would never kill a manatee outside of a dream state. Those meet dreams, man. They do it to you. So we're going back and I'm like, now they're gonna put me in lockup or something. Disney has a lockup. You've heard about this. Disney jail, yeah.

They're gonna put me in there. My uncle's still in there. Yeah, I'm never gonna get out. I get to... Your uncle will be my best friend. You're starting to talk like Goofy after all these years. Oh! And I'm walking back to where the person left their thing.

I don't know why I went back in, but I look over the edge down into the water and I see those dead manatees at the bottom. Oh, yeah. Nobody had noticed yet. That they were down there. Dead. Do you want me to interpret this dream? Please.

I just mark it up to the meat, man. I blame it on the meat. Oh, it's deeper than the meat, man. What? I don't know. You must have got some stuff going on that you're afraid about Disney finding out about. Ha ha ha ha ha.

And it was so real and I was so worked up about it. I was paranoid, I was angry, I was wet and bloody, it was bad, it was real bad. I never have dreams like that. I'm never going back to a Brazilian steakhouse either dad Yeah, I'm actually too much me. Well, how did Nancy enjoy it was her birthday. She enjoyed it. She had a good time She paced herself Yeah, she did pretty her

Her and Christie They kind of went for it actually Yeah, they I don't know if you'd call it pacing because because Nancy loves a salad bar, so I knew she was gonna chow down on that. You don't go to a restaurant for a salad bar, but it was pretty good. But it was a good salad bar. I mean, they had a lot of eclectic stuff on there. There was one highlight. You thought you were done, because you put a thing on the table, and it's green, and then if you turn it over, it looks like a cup holder. It's red.

And that way they know to stop bringing the skewers. And then they bring something else. But then they were bringing something to another table, and you had to turn that thing back green again. And I kinda had to speak very loudly to get his attention, because we turned all ours over red, because it had that skewered pineapple. Oh. Oh, man.

So that was kind of a dessert. You didn't make it take back stuff you didn't even steal. I'm telling you. Oh, man. So we all got some pineapple. Tell them what was on it. It had brown sugar and I forget. Cinnamon.

Cinnamon on it. And one day it had been on that rotation and it had cooked into it in the juice. And it was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess.

It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. It was a little bit of a mess. sugar and I forget. Cinnamon. Cinnamon on it. And where they'd been on that rotation and it had cooked into it in the juice from the pineapple. And that's what they gave you. They didn't give you real deep in it. But I mean. Like a little slice.

So he had to come back twice. Oh, so he brings it and slices it for you. Just like the meat. Oh, so it's almost like a whatever when they do the- Cura-cara, I think. Yeah, for the- The trombo. Apastor. Yeah.

Yep. But it was good. Wow. You were talking about doing that at home. Yeah. Nancy said, you got to do some of that on the grill when you cook. I said, okay. Pretty good idea.

It was really good. But then they read from what they did. They brought a, Nancy had looked at the menu when we came in Monday with Lando and she showed it to me, the dessert menu and they had, they had a, a custard pie kind of thing. Well, they call it a flan. Well, whatever, this was custard. But man, so I ordered it.

And they ate, LinkedIn didn't eat any, Orlando ate a little bit, but me and Christy chowed down on this maybe. Oh boy, because it had caramel stuff in the... That might have been what did you in. It may have been the flan. Yeah. No, it couldn't have been. Not as good as I love custard.

It could have been too much meat and too much custard. Yeah. You really can't. Well, I'm glad you're here. I would have never known that you've been up all night. You look great. Well, I do all right. You're tough.

That's another thing you didn't pass on. Yeah. Yeah. Learning a new language really comes in handy when you're traveling. Also, if you're watching shows in a different language, that's fun. Or just to improve your brain.

In any of those scenarios, in comes Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app that truly immerses you in the language you wanna learn. They've used trusted experts for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered, some of which include Spanish, French, German, Korean, Japanese, Dutch, and Arabic.

It's designed for fast language acquisition with an intuitive process so you pick up a language naturally, first with words, then phrases, then sentences. Their built-in true accent feature is an awesome addition that gives you feedback on your pronunciation so you truly learn to speak like a pro. A lifetime membership has access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers at an amazing value of 50% off. Do not put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started.

You can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com slash ear. That's 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at RosettaStone.com slash Ear today. For the past three seasons of Gone South, we've covered one story per season. We tried to figure out who killed Margaret Coon.

She told me I'm gonna kill you. I said, well, do it, bitch. Go ahead and do it. We delved into the violent world of the Dixie Mafia. I'm an outlaw and I was a thief, but I'm far from being the psychotic nutcase that I've been made out to be. And we tracked a serial killer in Laredo, Texas.

Just turn around, please. Turn around. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Now, Gone South is back for a fourth season. But this time, we're doing things a little differently. So, in Gone South Season 4, we'll be bringing you new stories every week, with no end in sight. I'm Jed Lapinski. Welcome back to Gone South, an Odyssey Original Podcast. Listen and follow now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts for

new episodes every week. All right, let's get to a voicemail. Come on now. Hi, Redlink. My name's Truman. I got a bit of a conundrum for you. I have a big crush on this girl I work with, but she unfortunately has a boyfriend. How do I A, catalyze their breakup and then B, once I'm successful, how long do I wait until I make a move?

Okay. Also, it's important to note that she is my superior. Whoa! No! All right, hey. What happened? First of all, thank you for giving us this incredible situation to navigate perfectly. Oh, they know, they know.

Strap in! He got the bomb at the end of that one. we're about to give you some great advice. Superior. Corbin, was that the name? We'll go with Corbin. Something with a C. I mean, at least he's not... If he said, and, you know, if he ended it with, and...

I'm her superior. We wouldn't be talking about this. Right, right, right, right, right. We couldn't be. To be clear. We couldn't even have fun with this question. To be clear, we wouldn't have just moved right along. It's, now it's just, it's complicated. You think? And challenging.

Yeah, I mean, Jen, I saw you put your head in your hands. Immediately. Immediately when he just said she has a boyfriend. Oh, that early? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't believe in breaking people up if you're interested? No.

Oh, okay. We have friends who are married. I have multiple married friends who like, they're really thriving. And it was the result of them meeting and it then dissolving her current relationship. Or maybe his one time. It's had, I've seen positive proof.

If there ain't no ring, it ain't no thing, right? Yeah, it just sounds a little bit like emotional cheating to me. Oh. In the beginning, at least. Emotional cheating. Well, we're not, I mean. Well, if he's, also, if he's trying to break up that relationship with her knowing or without her knowing,

either way is bad, but without her knowing, and then he makes a move and they end up together, and she finds out later that he broke up her, I don't know, that's a whole, and then he makes a move, and they end up together, and she finds out later that he broke up her, I don't know, that's a whole trust, I don't like it, I don't like it. Like any of it. Let me just start with, I think we need to acknowledge one piece of this.

The work goggles thing. Can we just talk about work goggles for a second? Yes, please. So we have a phenomenon that we called stent goggles, we've talked about before, but just to refresh your memory, when we were in college, we were involved with Campus Crusade and you would go on,

sometimes maybe right after you graduated, you would go on stent. You would go over to a different country with a small team of people and be there for like six months to a year, whatever. Short term international. And so what we would find would happen is being in a different culture

with a very small group of Americans, you began to see somebody on that team through these goggles, right? It's just like beer goggles or whatever, and you sort of exaggerate your connection. You're in an emotionally vulnerable state and you're away from your culture and you're adjusting and you end up kind of like bonding with somebody

and you think you're in love and then you come back home and then you realize that you just had on stent goggles. So I believe that this phenomenon extends to work. Dad, have you ever had a run in with beer goggles? I don't know about stent goggles, when you come back and forth and do something like that, when I grew up, that was just lust.

Yes, there you go, right. That's a simple way of talking about it. Okay, but what about beer goggles? Have you, has anything gone sideways when you've put on the beer goggles? I don't think I've ever had a set of beer goggles on. Well, that's not literal. Oh.

It's when you drink too much and you think somebody's fine, but they're not. Oh yeah, and you wake up and want to cut your arm off and go somewhere else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, why do you cut your arm off? Well, it depends on what you did with that arm. What? It's easy to find wherever you're at.

Oh, it's underneath. Oh yeah, she's laying on top of the arm. You gotta cut your arm and get down. Okay, I get it. Wow. I like that. I don't know, man. What? You can take it. So I just feel like that's the first thing to acknowledge is you might need to reevaluate how connected you are

because I don't know, you see somebody in work clothes, you know what I'm saying? You see somebody and if work clothes, you know what I'm saying? Like you see somebody and like, if she's your superior, maybe she occasionally wears a business suit. You know, a woman walks in with a business suit, I mean, that can do things for you sometimes. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Yeah. And you just gotta be- But then if you got on a date and she's wearing the same thing, it starts to get weird. She can still give you orders. That's fine. Okay, but what I'm saying is, is you gotta make sure that, you know, and I would say that's probably the case, but let's just assume that that's not the case. Let's just assume that you actually would be good for each other,

all things considered. And we believed, after having evaluated the current relationship that she is in having evaluated the current relationship that she is in, and the potential relationship that she can have with our caller, that we have determined that it would be better for her and him to be in a relationship together. How would he go about navigating this? I just set it up and handed it to you. But what about... Well, we need to talk about...

Let's remove the power dynamic for a second and just talk about what... How you get somebody to break up. Jenna and Jamie seem to be objecting to, and that is breaking up a relationship. Now, there's a light touch that I think it's gonna be okay, right? I mean, if you get to know somebody,

and we're not saying that you work with them, but in general, you get to know somebody who's dating somebody, I mean, and you just get to know them as an acquaintance, I mean, that gives them some information to decide, oh, I'm actually finding myself interested in this person. But the question is... Can't that happen?

Of course that can happen. There's nothing wrong with that. That can definitely happen. That's not what we're objecting to. Right. You're objecting to the person who's trying to instigate the breakup actually taking some sort of action to make the breakup happen, right? What was the verb he used? He said... Catalyze. Catalyze the breakup. So here's the question I have for the room.

Yes. Is that, yes you can put yourself in close proximity to another relationship and see if you catch some strays or whatever. Mm. But do you not think it is, do you think it is inappropriate to somehow communicate your interest so that that person understands that like, I do want you to know,

like I do want you to know that I like you. And that if you weren't in this relationship with this person, well, I'm just asking the question. I think you're right on the right track. Because he didn't know if his boss lady or superior likes him or not. Right. But he don't even need to worry about to me breaking this, these two up, if they're dating

or whatever they're doing. But he needs to just find out, first of all, if she's going to even be interested in trying to go out with him. Yeah. Or him to see that. And I mean... I think it starts with a resignation. And I have, well, I don't know about that.

I mean, I've kind of, you know, in my years I've kind of walked that road and had some people like y'all were talking about that. Well, I'd like to date her. Have you ever fallen in love with a boss? I don't think so. No. But I, some of, one of my friends, girlfriends or something, I said,

you know, I think she'd be a lot better off with me than him, so I'm gonna say she wants to date me. I didn't tell him. But I, you know, I just let her know, so. Oh, you let her know? Yeah. You gave her the option. Yeah. And Astro said, you know, and of course, I might, when I was younger, I might have been a little more arrogant. But I'd say.

Yeah, because you never know. But just saying it, to that point, just saying it. Hey, I'd be interested in you if you were interested in me, but I know you're dating somebody, so. Yeah, and that was. I'm not gonna do anything about it. What about that? Just in general. Not with this situation. What about that?

We haven't gotten to the superior thing yet. We'll talk about that problem in a minute. Right. Yeah, I think if you put the ball in her court, then you haven't done nothing wrong, and then it's up to her at that point. Instead of like a clandestine, flirtatious... Or framing him for something. Yeah, cause he's not loyal to anyone in the situation.

It's her at that point. If she knows, and then she continues to go with it, then it gets messy. I think if you say, if you express interest and then you just leave it lay, that's also good for their relationship. It's a good test. You know, it's like, hey, do you really want to be with this guy? It's up to you. I think I actually have a way that you can do this that is completely ethically acceptable. So, find out everything you can possibly find out

about her boyfriend. Okay. So far so good. That's step one. You know, ethically. But Rhett, did the boyfriend work here too? I don't know. That's what- I don't think so. I'm saying no. Are weett, did the boyfriend work here too? I don't know. That's what I don't think so.

I'm saying no. Are we looking through his windows? What's happening? We're in the least. We're paying for that thing where you Google somebody's name and then you pay like $3 to learn more. At least that. Yeah.

Social media stalking, that kind of thing. Find out what he dresses like. Find out how he wears his hair. Find out what he dresses like. Find out how he wears his hair. Find out what he's into. Then slowly, this is gonna take 18 months, 18 to 24 months. This is a long play because if you go too fast, it'll be obvious what you're doing.

The first thing you do, just get a shirt that he has and wear it to work. Okay? Okay. A replica, you're not stealing one of his shirts. No, a replica, yeah, yeah, don't be creepy. Be cool about it. Be cool about this.

And then slowly over the course, I would say six months, you've slowly transferred your wardrobe to basically dress just like him. And then you start working on the haircut. This is another six months. It can't be sudden. If he's got a rat tail, you gotta slowly grow a rat tail. Well, that's how rat tails grow. Thank God.

If he's got real short hair, you got long hair. Don't cut it off all at once. Move it slow so nobody even notices you have a haircut at any point. You are slowly, if you can tell, becoming him. Yep. And then one day. So that when he mysteriously passes away. No, no, no, no, no.

Then the, it's just. What's gonna happen is. It's like loading the boat off the ramp. You become so much like him that one day you just walk into her office, because she's asked you to come in, and she gets confused and thinks maybe her boyfriend has shown up, and at that point, you just go with it. Right.

Double the pleasure, double the fun. And then, at that moment, you have two paths. Choose your own adventure, I don't have enough experience to know which one's better. One, you just keep riding that wave and you just continue confusing her for a period of time and then just try to push him out slowly. But I think the better plan, the more foolproof plan

is once she is confused and thinks that maybe you are him, do something disqualifying. As him, not as you. Oh, yes. Then she goes home, she breaks up with him, and then over the next 18 to 24 months, you slowly become yourself again. And then you begin the process of trying to take her.

Oh wow, oh wow. Yeah, so this is a three to four year process. I like the fact that. But if you're serious about this, you'll do it. You've ended up still being yourself. You're not stuck- No, you can't be him forever. You don't wanna be him forever.

No, no, you have to become him slowly, disqualify him, and then slowly become yourself again. And there's no guarantees that she's gonna like you after all that. This is some real spy shit. Yeah. Sounds like you ought to make this a TV episode. Yeah, it sounds like a full season.

You're right. You're writing for criminal minds now. I have a much snappier solution. Faster than four years? I'm not interested in a four-year plan for my home. That's like high school. Yeah, yeah. But okay, now they're in high school? Well, it don't confuse us.

No. Yeah, it also could be college or like a four-year prison sentence. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, four years, right, yeah. What do you have to do to be in for four years? Pretty minor. I don't know. I mean. Steal a car.

Javelin a manatee or four, maybe, I don't know. It was just a dream. Don't hold it against me. I think the snappy thing to do is go into her office and resign. Now it's one of those resignations that she has to accept. You know, you know, you need to be a good employee. You need to- I like this. And then it's- You tell her why. that she has to accept. You need to be a good employee. I like this.

And then it's- You tell her why. It's like, I would like to turn in my resignation. Well, why? You're a wonderful team member. I love being your boss lady. Oh, you do? Well, I am interested in, maybe there's something here

between us and I wanna remove any barriers on my part that would keep us from maybe seeing if there's a spark and a future between us. So I am resigning from this job so that we can have an unobstructed exploration of a potential relationship because I really like you. Wow. I like this. I'm removing my barriers. Now, the ball's in your court. I have a slight amendment that might be a little... I love this idea.

I'm strongly implying that she's gotta break up with a guy. But then maybe she won't, and if she doesn't accept the resignation, she still knows, but she knows that you're on the open. The only thing I don't like about it, I love the fact that it's quick and I love the fact that it puts the ball in her court. The thing I don't like about it is that

No rat tail. It's so, there's no rat tail, and it so explicitly puts the ball in her court. The thing I don't like about it is that- No rat tail. It's so, there's no rat tail. And it so explicitly puts the ball in her court where I actually like making people realize that the ball is in their court and then they have the power of choice. Right, right, right. So- Make it seem like it's her idea.

A slight amendment. You go in and you say, I need to resign. She says why. And you say, to be honest with you, it is distracting working with you because I like you so much. And I don't feel like I can continue to do my best work because you're such a distraction to me.

And then she's flattered. Yep. And she's like, well shit, I gotta do something about this. Either, okay, whatever, I don't like you. But if it's like, well I do, she does whatever she wants to at that point. I think she might move you to another.

She hasn't been given a choice. She might give you a promotion in another department. Is that possible? Well, and then you become an equal. Yep. There it is. What y'all girls think about that? Yeah, I have no notes.

I like that. I like the long con plan of slowly becoming him, then becoming yourself again. Yeah, yeah, that's good. And then no notes about that. But yeah, I think he would have to resign. He has to remove himself from that whole other problem situation. So you're on board with both, Jamie?

Yeah, I mean, I think after four years, hopefully he's still even interested in this chick. That would be my only thing. That would suck if it wasn't. Yeah, it's quite an investment. But I like the faster one. I was thinking, become friends with the boyfriend and then show how you're such a better guy than that guy when you all hang out together and then. Okay, he becomes the third wheel? Yeah, but then he takes over and then he's now. You can have a strong third wheel performance sometimes.

That is a good strategy. Let me throw something else into the mix that I have very little understanding of. Great. That's the way to wife a lot more than work husband, but I'm sure it goes either way. I don't quite understand what this is, and I don't, I mean, we work with a lot of women. Look at us, working with women right now.

They're better than working with men. Definitely. But I don't think I have a work wife. I don't quite know what that is exactly, but my understanding is that the real wife refers to the work wife as the work wife. There's an understanding there. It's not usually the guy who said it. the work wife as the work wife. There's like an understanding there. So in my experience, what that would be is it's someone of the opposite sex that works closely with you

at your level that you spend basically as much time with as you do your spouse and your friends and you talk to them a lot, you're like texting them for work purposes, that's your work wife. Oh, and so you're on the- It's not a relational thing. And there was no power dynamic,

you're at the same level. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but now this is not the concept of the ice husband and the ice wife that we talked about that we- What? Well, we met someone. I'm not gonna say what he did,

I'm just gonna say that he had been to Antarctica. Oh. Okay, not gonna say his role because there's probably not a lot of these down there. That's right. And we were asking him, as soon as we found out that he had just flown back from Antarctica, we started asking lots of questions

and he had spent an extended amount of time there. And I said the thing about like, do you have a girlfriend down there or something? Because I had watched a documentary about how there's not many women down there and the women are incredibly popular because you have these men who are just cooped up for a very long time.

Right. And women just have, you know, their pick of the litter essentially. And he said, yeah, the concept of an ICE husband and an ICE wife is real. And in that case, it's literally somebody that you're having an affair with while you're in Antarctica.

Because if you work in Antarctica, you usually go for an extended period of time because you'd like go through the full like summer season or whatever. But it doesn't necessarily, I didn't take him to be talking about an affair because. Oh, he was. Oh, I barely knew this guy.

He wasn't married. He wasn't like admitting to us that he had an affair. No, he wasn't talking about himself. He was talking about, I asked the question, and he said yes. But it's like a summer camp boyfriend. Yeah, but with sex. Even better. So it's an affair.

As long as you have a relationship back home. But there's also an ice wife where it's like you're, you connect with, you hook up with somebody and then when you ever leave the project. Only on the ice. Yeah, that's also the same situation. Okay. It doesn't have to involve infidelity. Correct. Yep. But that's not what a work wife is. Right. So are you my work husband?

Probably. I think that's why people must think that we're gay. Yeah. Because we work closely together. Right, because they're like, why would two men share an office? Right. Yeah.

And sometimes spoon on camera. Is there an answer here for work, life, work, husband? Can, that's an understanding amongst everybody, right? Work. Wife, work husband. That's an understanding amongst everybody, right? We have a special relationship that's in the work environment, and then I have a special relationship with you that's in the home environment, and everybody seems to be okay with it.

Obviously, as long as there's no intimacy, right? There's boundaries for this. Yeah, I don't think... It's just gotta be about the work. I'm not confused. It's just gotta be about the work. It's just about the work. Now, if there's actual attraction, then work wife thing

can't happen, right? Well, it would start as that and then it could become something that was more problematic. I think we've covered this in so many different ways. Dead in there, but I did learn something. I think Corbin, or whatever his name was, has so many different options. You have a long tail and a short option.

Yeah, yeah. Let's hear another one. Let's hear another one. Hey Rhett and Link, I'm just calling to say that you guys did an awful job of answering Dan's question about how to get engaged when his fiance asked for something private yet with friends and family. As someone who got engaged in 2024 and not 1964, so whenever you guys were 17 and getting engaged, I just wanted to reach out to Dan and say all she

means is that she wants a special intimate moment for the two of you when you actually propose and then to celebrate for friends and family after. So go somewhere that's special to the two of you, have a nice moment where you guys can say everything sweet, take her to dinner after and have friends and family waiting there to surprise her. That's all. Rhett and Link, love your content but yeah, not the best engagement advice. I am. Well, Dad, let me bring you up to speed. On a previous episode, we gave some great advice

about how to make his fiance happy with an engagement that involved privacy with a photographer hidden in bushes, but then also having the family there. Mm-hmm. And- Well, one friend or family member at a time, also in the bush. I gave a lot of good advice about going to all the places that was special in their relationship as the date,

and then at certain points, then the family would show up. And there'd be two photographers, and they would run ahead, and each be at each special place taking photos. And there would be a drone. But Rhett was really upset about it, and he was very grumpy, and he basically tried to rip the whole thing to shreds. And this guy guy's saying neither one of us were on the right track. This guy is just saying that all you should do is just ask, you know, do the engagement thing and then go to a restaurant? Yawn much?

That's true. You know what I'm saying? I actually, it was Rhett's advice, it wasn't mine, I was joking, but I thought that was really good advice. I'm kinda upset that this guy's calling us on the carpet, and I'm upset that we played it, you know? It's like, what, you're talking, trying to insinuate that we're old? You're not old.

We're not old, my dad's old. I'm old. Yeah. But Rhett, proposing to someone, Old. We're not old. My dad's old. I'm old. Rhett, proposing to someone is something special for both people. Right. And I don't understand why if, if it's not that special to him that he's just proposing to her by herself, what the hell do you need to take her out to eat for? Right. I mean,

I'll give you one little thing. Okay. When Nancy and I, when I proposed to Nancy and this had to be karma or something, because I proposed to her on the beach and there was a man standing behind us and took a picture while I proposed to her. And I did not hire this guy. It was just, and he walked up to us and said, he asked me, he said, did you just propose to her? And I said, yes, I did.

And he said, I'll bring you a picture tomorrow. Ha! Ha ha ha! And we have the picture. And you went out on the beach the next day, and he walks up. And he walks up and brings us back a picture. Whoa. So.

Photographer in the bushes didn't even have to pay. That's what I mean, I know you plan stuff and want it to be special, but I don't know if you, I don't know if you need pictures proposing. I didn't need a picture that day of me proposing to Nancy. I mean, it's special just for you, whether you have a picture or not of it. You just, whatever happens, happens. It's something for you to remember.

Right. And you to do, and you to have with that one person, because if you're proposing to somebody, it's something you want to have the rest of your life with. Right. Not with everybody else. And then you just- It's not about putting on a show for the internet. But what about just a drone, though?

I'd be, I mean- You'd be all right with a drone. Yeah, I mean, but- Just like a drone that's not too close, so you can still hear each other. Oh, yeah. Right. You're down on one knee and it's just like point blank.

It's like hitting you in the head. But I mean, that's just my experience. I like that, though. But our caller is saying that we overcomplicated it. I don't think so. I don't think. Listen. Dad is saying keep it simple.

I don't think hiring. I don't think, listen. Dad is saying keep it simple. I don't think hiring... Let what happens happen. If you think that hiring two photographers and having a drone operator and having one different family member hide in a bush along with one of those photographers and having the photographer switch off in order for there to be like a handoff and the photographer's always there with your friend before you get to the location and doing that at least 12 times and then finally the last one everyone gets there in time,

and you've got both photographers and a drone and all the family. If you think that's too complicated... You don't need to give me that. Have you heard of Algebra? Yeah. Don't sign up for Algebra. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? You know, don't take that course. Let's hear another voicemail. What? Hi Rhett and Link. I have a question. My fiance and I have been engaged for almost two years and we've decided that we're going to elope

because neither of us care about a wedding as evidenced by the fact that it's been almost two years. However, we are feeling a little bit guilty about excluding our family. How guilty should we feel about not telling our family that we are getting married until after we have already gotten married? And if you have any suggestions for how we should tell them after, please share them. We were going to go with the idea of a cake that said, sorry, we got married without you. But if you guys have anything better to suggest,

I'd love to hear it. Thank you so much. Love you guys forever. I love the fact that they're on the same page. That's right. If you don't want a big wedding, if you want the same thing and you want to elope, go for it.

Do what they did back in the day and drive down to South Carolina and just make it happen. That's how they used to do it, right? My parents did this. My parents eloped. Oh yeah? Oh yeah. Was it secret to the family? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, they'd been engaged and there were plans to do a wedding later in the year and they got tired of having to deal with it. So they drove to Virginia and eloped. They had to cross the state line too. They crossed the state line, yeah they did. Yeah, you can't do that in North Carolina, but you could do it in South Carolina.

That would be correct. A lot of people would just migrate down there just to get right over the border. It's kinda like going to Vegas, right, Dad? Just drive down to Dillon, get your marriage license and walk in there and that man just hook you right on up. Mm-hmm, yeah. My y'alls did the same thing.

I don't understand the part about keeping it secret. Then get in the car and drive to Myrtle Beach and have a honeymoon. There you go. Right, right, right. Why can't you tell him, you know what, we've decided to elope, we're doing it in a couple of days, at least you're giving him a heads up.

Is that because they're gonna get upset and try to stop it? Because then, depending on, well, first of all, I don't know the situation, but a lot of people choose to do this because, well, first of all, a lot of people choose to do this because, well first of all, a lot of people choose to do this now because a wedding is expensive. And this is like a way to just not have to worry about it.

If your parents aren't paying for it. I always hear about, and you can't find a venue. People spending years trying to find a venue. What's up with, how hard is it to find a venue? Apparently really, really, really hard. But the other thing is that for a lot of people, the prospect of their families coming together, and it might be because of some individual

or some individuals and one or both of the families, that is something that is not going to be an edifying experience and not something that they want to experience when they're getting married. Like, because if you think, oh, oh, this will be really special and our families are super supportive and this will be a beautiful ceremony and I want my family to be a part of this. If you want to elope, it's either probably for financial or because you want to avoid some drama that you know will occur, right?

Or maybe it's just you you don't wanna have the headache of having to plan this shit that can get really complicated and make you really stressed out. It's like that Dawes song where he talks about they're planning the wedding and he's like, you don't seem to be having any fun at all talking to his fiance. Yeah.

And so I don't blame you, first of all, but that's why you don't give them a heads up if you're gonna do it. But then you have a reception. Just plan a party so they can receive you in some form, right? Well, Rhett, you know, when you get married, and I've done it more than once,

but when you get married and you want to do something, if you let everybody else in the family have a you want to do something, if you're letting everybody else in the family have a little something to do with it, they want to be in more control than you are. I think that's what you were saying. And you just, you want it to be for y'all. So just do like he said, just elope and come back and then, hey, they're the ones that's got to be mad and live with it, not you.

So just, you know, do it like you wanna do it. Especially if you're on the same page. That makes it super easy. You got each other and you, I mean, you need support and you need family to support you, but people who really love you are gonna respect the decision that you make, I think. Yeah. Well, I think. Yeah.

Well, I think when you get married, you're supposed to be going your individual way anyway. And I know you need some support sometime, but you need to be doing it however you want to do it. If you want to do it with your family, do it. But if you want all that headache and all that stuff that goes on with it, then just elope and go on and get done with it.

Listen, just invite them to a reception, and if you got a baked potato bar, they'll forget all about it. They'll forget, open bar and potato bar, double up on it, people will not. And there's mashed potatoes too. Oh, it's a mashed potato bar. Fully baked potatoes, but then there's also just mashed potatoes too. So there's fully baked potatoes,

but then there's also just mashed potatoes that you could then put the same stuff on top of, which actually is better. I agree with that. Mashed potato bar and open alcoholic bar. You definitely give them alcohol because they're all happy. They get those carbs in there, they get alcohol. They think whatever you did was the best decision

over your life. Right, right. Now, we had some relatives of relatives who got, they had a surprise, they were having a, they planned a wedding shower that then when all of the family showed up, it was the wedding and nobody knew it. Ooh.

Isn't that a thing? Was there a potato party? Yeah, isn't that how it happened, Dad? You know what I'm talking about? I'm confused. Look at my eyes. Oh no, I ain't going there. That dog won't hunt with me.

You just go and, I'm not going there. Well I'm just asking in the hype of, like, not naming any names. First of all, I won't invite it. Oh, okay. That's a problem. I won't go there. I wasn't either.

I won't there, and as a matter of fact, this is the first time I ever heard about dance. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! And f***, I might have told my sister, but... Don't say names, Dad. We'll bleep all that out. We're bleeping all the names. But the way that I heard it, they planned a party...

an engagement party. That's what it was. And then it was the way. And then everybody showed up and they actually got married there. So it was kinda like a... A prank. A prank. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A social experiment.

Because, is that the one? And Dad wasn't invited. Is that the one that lasted or not lasted? Okay, so that is, okay, so that's the other aspect of this, right? It's the current one. It's the current one, it's lasting. That is a question because, so, you know, traditionally, I mean, obviously, like going way back traditionally, like the literal, you know, handing off, like when a woman was considered a piece of property. You're talking about betrothal? It was literally the father being like,

I literally give my daughter to this other man. Like that was how the whole thing kind of started, right? So it's got some problematic roots. But sort of like what it evolved into is this public ceremony that you're doing in front of your community and your family and friends where you're saying that we have chosen each other and we're doing that in the broad daylight

of everybody here so that you know that we're making this commitment to each other. And I think that there's a lot of good in that. That can be very healthy in terms of with the support of you supporting me and us supporting each other and us in this community supporting our relationship. Yeah. But let's be honest.

That is not how the world works anymore. I mean, most people are so isolated and maybe if you're in a small town and that, there's that dynamic, but it usually at this point is like a bunch of people who don't know the other person's family. Like most weddings you go to today, it's not two people from the same town getting married

and they're kind of doing it in front of their community. It's like somebody from Wisconsin marrying somebody from Florida, and it's just like you're getting to know all these people, and I'm not saying there's not a point to the ceremony, but it's evolved like you're getting to know all these people. I'm not saying there's not a point to the ceremony, but it's evolved to a place where it feels a little bit ritualistic and a little bit... Antiquated.

Yeah. It depends on, well, this is the finer point I wanna put on it. This is where I wanna draw the line, and I think it applies to this and the last conversation about engagement, and dad, I think this is what you were getting at, too. If it becomes more about a show for everybody else than it does about the two of you, then that's a problem.

So it doesn't matter what you do as long as you protect the special part of it that's about the two of you, and it's not about everybody else. I mean, me and Christy were so young and our wedding was so big, it was really difficult to make it about the two of us and like our special moment. It really felt, it was, there were so many external

expectations, you know? And it was like, well, is this just becoming an exhibition versus a beautiful beginning? And sometimes a party. That's tough. A party for the parents themselves, right? Right. Well, Rhett, it could have been like when Link and his mother and I got married, and

you know, and this was in 1974. And when I came out of the church, and you know, most of the time, back then they threw rice, my uncle dumped a five pound bag of flour over my head. Oh my gosh. Uncle Johnny, you knew it. It almost killed you actually. Yeah. Because that'll make you choke.

Because you can't breathe, right? I mean it was. It's like the cinnamon challenge. So I mean, you know. But that made for some great pictures. I mean, yeah. Yeah, the man who was taking the pictures, it was something, but I mean, you know.

That was a bit much. Yeah, but you know that was Johnny. But you know, it made me mad as hell. Yeah. But, cause I mean, we had a reception and then I mean. You were covered in flour. Oh yeah. Well, your son then carried on the tradition

of getting flour thrown at him. Yeah, I've had that done a couple of times. It's never gone well. It's what runs in the family. I don't know, so you know the things have changed about how weddings go on. Right, well and I think that if you think that your family is going to be an asset

or gonna be needed for your relationship to flourish, which, again, in an ideal situation, that's how it works, right? Like, your parents are a resource, your parents are a support, your friends and family are a resource and a support that enhances your relationship. Then I think, and they've been supportive of your relationship thus far, and you've got the money to do a wedding, then I think that and they've been supportive of your relationship thus far, and you've got the money to do a wedding, then I think that having that ceremony is great because it invites everyone into your love story.

But let's just be honest, that's not how a lot of family acts. Right. Sometimes they're not interested in your love story. They want to dictate your love story. So if that is the way that the dynamic turns out in your situation, then just elope. You don't feel any, just do it.

And put that money towards the honeymoon. That's right. Yeah. I'm a fan of a trip. Let's squeeze one more in. Hey, Redd and Link. This is Nick from Paducah, Kentucky. I'm currently headed to St. Louis to deliver groceries to a towboat. My question is, if you had to name a towboat, what would you two name it? Appreciate it, love the content, keep it up. Delivering groceries to a towboat, which I usually call a tugboat. Okay, I like it when you say that. Tugboat. Okay, I like it when you say that.

Tugboat. Do tugboats usually have names? I think all boats should have names. I mean, a tugboat is small but it's mighty. Hmm, so? Little, little, little, little... Little big boy. Little big boy. Okay, that's a good one. Small but mighty. Mighty... not mighty mouse. That already exists.

What about something with pull? Like, pull out game strong. Oh! You know, because... Tug of lug. He's... Yep, he's pulling them out. Together again. Yep, because he shows up to other boats.

He's like, we're together again. I like that one. Sometimes, do they push sometimes though? They do, I saw one pushing. Right, they can get behind you and they can push. But what did happen to food? Everybody eats groceries. A tugboat guy's gotta eat too.

Oh I know, but I mean, I didn't think they stayed out there on the water that long, I mean. Yeah, is he on another boat going out to the tugboat? It sounds like this might be a Postmates situation. Yeah, this is Postmates to a tugboat. Tugboat Uber. I think if you're pushing, makes me think of pregnancy. So I'm like,

I'm trying to combine OBGYN and tugboat. Tug... tug-BGYN. Pfft! Tug-G... tug-GBYN? Tug-BGYN. Okay, I like that. No, it's because the G in tug... Tug-Gyn...

Tug-Gynacologist. Tug-Gynacologist? Alright, that's great. I like that. Obstetrician. We need the obstetrician part in there. I don't know. It's gonna be a little long. What about... Tugstretrician? Tug... Tug one out. Tug it... Tugalicious.

Let's tug about that. I like that. There you go. Let's tug about that because I don't know if this is, if you are actually, I don't know if part of your Uber order or whatever you're doing you've also been given like

in the notes on your delivery app did they say please name my towboat when you show up? He's just saying it's something for us to do. But yeah, that's a different service. Well... Show up and name my boat. The problem is that he's already shown up.

This is in the past. Unless this is a really long order. Next time he goes out there. When they're together again, I'd say. Okay, there we go. We've named a tugboat. Dad, you didn't have any names for the tugboat? No, I didn't.

You never named a boat, because you don't like boat. You're not a boat person. Well, if it's on a lake, it's all right, but it's not in the ocean. I don't have sea legs. Okay, I got you. I don't either.

Well, we're going for tug-by-gyn. Tug-by-gy Tug BGYN? Let's tug about that. We're sticking with that one. Okay, before we go, I got a quick rec for you. I was watching a TikTok and they were interviewing, it was one of those things that like John Totoro was on the red carpet.

And they were like, what are your favorite movies of 2024? And he's like, oh, Janet Planet. It was the first thing he said. And I was like- I haven't heard of Janet Planet. I hadn't heard of any of the movies that he referenced. But I was like, you know what?

I was on the plane, coming back from our trip to New York, and Janet Planet was on there, and I was like, you know what? John Totoro recommended this. I'm going to watch it. He said, -"It's a beautiful performance from the little girl." -"It's really good, actually." And so I watched that, and it's a great movie. Was it like John was there with you the whole time? Yeah, he was like, she's really doing a great job.

But it was, yeah, Don't K-K-Mamey Keep Doing It. So, it's slow. They're slow pacing. There's not a lot of dialogue. And it doesn't have a traditional plot structure. Wow! Boy, sign me up. I am so excited now. So I'm just saying that if you're a little bit too much of a normie and you need three acts and a good climax,

then this might not be for you. But if you're a cinemafile like me and John Totoro, I, Janet Planet is very heartwarming. This is my backhanded recommendation I've ever made. ...is very heartwarming, and it really is a great performance from this little girl. Uh, I don't know the actor's name, but she is really, really good. She played Janet?

She actually doesn't. Oh! Whoa! That's her mom. Okay. But I recommend it. You know, take a slow paced evening or afternoon and watch Janet Planet. Dad, are you gonna watch it?

Be honest. I might. I mean, if I ain't got a lot to do, you know? I don't watch many movies, so probably not. Well, it's fine. Yeah, you know, you're gonna have to. I'm not gonna watch it either, based on your description.

All right, we'll talk at you next week. Remember, you call us, you say something that makes our eyebrows raise, we're gonna wanna talk about it. 1-888- EarPod One. And dad, get a little plug in for your favorite podcast before we go.

And all you Myrtle Beets out there and everybody that wants to join, start watching Dispatches from Myrtle Beets. Wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube. Yeah, ratherbeachaggin53 at aol.com. That's his address, let him know. Email him. Hi, I'm Link.

My name's Hunter. I'm a mailman out in Ohio. And I just wanted to say thank you guys for making my day easier. When I'm out here delivering the mail and packages I listen to Ear Biscuits every single day in the morning and it gets me through my day. I have no questions but I just wanted to say thank you guys. You're helping the United States Postal Service stand business. So thank you and keep being awesome.

Have a good one. www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov

www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov

www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov www.unitedstates.gov