Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Things We Absolutely Will Not Do | Ear Biscuits Ep. 462

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

If it’s on the list, we must resist! In this episode, Rhett & Link are talking about their “Top 5 Absolutely Nots” list, as well as giving some advice on being a girl dad, how to grow a backbone, and stop being a people pleaser. Plus, Rhett has dinner with a tall guy and makes a realization. New customers shopping at huel.com – get 15% off plus a free gift using code EAR at huel.com. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast for two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're gonna help you get a backbone if you need one. We're gonna help you bond with your daughter

if you have one. We're gonna help you deal with a stalker if you want one. We're gonna help you bond with your daughter if you have one. We're gonna help you deal with a stalker if you want one. Wow. And... This is gonna be very helpful. We're gonna talk about our absolutely nots, I think. I forgot to talk to you about this. I had dinner with a man last night.

Cool, cool. Whose first acting job was on the A team. What? Was he Murdoch? Murdoch was my favorite. He was a- The loose cannon. He was a former professional football player who came to LA for a completely unrelated reason.

In the 80s. In the 80s, and his friends were like, you should be in acting. So he started like playing football players in commercials. And then he got like an audition to be a boxer on an episode of the A-Team where like he's boxing and he gets knocked out and then BA comes in and boxes in his place.

And he ended up doing a bunch of stuff like that, like playing a boxer, playing a cop, playing a bouncer, like big guy. So are you doing big guy networking? What's happening? No, this is a, I'll say a family friend. Okay. Somebody in my family is friends with somebody

in his family and they were having dinner together and we were both there. Oh, it wasn't just two of you. And we just sat next to each other and. Had a big guy time. I mean, it's funny how much big guys talk about how big the other guy is. It's like you know how big you are.

Right. But you also know how big the other guy is. It's like, you know how big you are, but you also know how big I am. Yeah. I don't know what it is. It's called relating to someone. Well, it's not just that. Because I've said for years, and I told him this, I was like, you know, when I see a man my size, I think, look at that freak, he's awkward.

Like I see somebody and I'm like, wow, he's so much bigger. So you basically told this guy he was an awkward freak to his face. I'm like, I can look at you and tell that you have trouble with life, but then when I walk up to you, I'm like, oh shit, we're at the same height. And I'm like, this is what I look like? That must be shocking to people.

Now I know why everyone comments on my height because I want to comment on the height of a person who's the same height as me. Yeah, and I am completely inoculated to it because I'm always with you. Yeah. So like, I... I would not have chosen this. Well, listen, I don't, you've deprived me

of the experience of noticing large people. Yeah. This guy was also big. I don't appreciate it. His hands. Give me another minute. He had football hands. You have deprived me of the experience of being like, wow, look at that tall person.

Wow, look at that big person. Hold on, so you're not still shocked by tall people? No. But I am. I'm bored of it. Maybe it's because you're not tall. I'm not shocked by tall people? No! But I am! I'm bored of it! Maybe it's because I'm... Maybe it's because you're not tall. I'm not shocked by tall people.

Well, I am tall! I am shocked by tall people. I'm six foot something. No, you're six foot. I could be a little bit more. With the hair, with the hair. The hair doesn't count. But it does in terms of like perception.

Okay, well I could be eight feet. With the hair! If I got the right glue gel in this thing. That doesn't count. I just six foot two. Okay, well I could be eight feet if I got the right glue gel in this thing. That doesn't count. I just don't care. I do care, but I don't notice tallness. Well I think that's probably a good thing because when I notice tallness, it makes me feel alarmed. That's what I'm saying. I see somebody, I'm like, whoa, I'm scared. What a freak.

And then you have the second alarm of, I am too. Yeah, right. But he's kinda pointing out a silver lining for you, Rhett. You have a complete backup plan, like an adjacent career, you're already in the town of entertainment. No. You just can be a big guy in entertainment.

No one over six-four. Tall people are in demand. No one over six-four has ever won an Academy Award for Best Actor. I'm not saying you'd be an extra dude. Yeah, right. This is a backup plan. This is a safety net. This is not like an Oscar play.

I don't think so. I think, I don't know. I think that he was tall and big. I don't know if there's a lot of roles for just tall. Tall and big is like monster. Just get fat. Cop. Wrestler. Just tall? Tall and fat. Go fat.

I don't wanna do that. That's not worth it. I love my job. I don't need an acting job. Well, I'm just saying if it fizzles, you could be tall Guy number four, you know, answering Craigslist ads for indie film bit parts. Sounds intriguing. Yeah, I've got a few... I'm not trying to whisk you away to another career. There's a few jobs that I've got in mind before I get to that, so don't worry, that's not gonna happen.

Tall Guy working at Drive Thru, you drive up and then you only see a chest. I would never get cast at a drive-thru. Cast? Now every profession, they don't hire, they cast. Yeah. That's very hollow. I thought you were still talking about a role. No, I'm saying you just work there. Yeah, you can't work at any windows. Can't be a bank teller, can't be a drive-thru-er.

I can't even join the military. As much as you want to. I mean, if there's a draft... You probably can't be a fireman. I feel like a fireman. I could get people into windows, but not with my back, though. Uh... yeah, okay, well... We'll just keep doing good at this.

Okay. Anyway, but I thought that was cool, A-Team. I was like. I love the A-Team. I was like, I probably have seen every episode. But you know. And then I was like, Shepard, have I ever shown you the A-Team? Because I wanted Shepard to be impressed by it.

And he was like, no. I was like, you don't know B.A. Barakas? He said, no. I was like, you don't know Mr. T.? He was like. Didn't even know Mr. T.? Doesn't know Mr. T? He was like. Didn't even know Mr. T? Doesn't know Mr. T. Well, an icon of a bygone era.

He's old, but he's still got that mohawk and the chains, I think. And the chains, I think, yeah. But his neck's a lot thinner. Yeah, you can't keep a neck that thick for a long time. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Man, what an icon. As much as I love that show, reruns, of course.

I didn't. Oh, they're not making new A-Team? I just wanted to clarify that we're not that old, that we were watching it in fresh time. Or were we? Yeah, we were. Oh, crap, we are that old. We were definitely watching new A-Teams.

Shoot. Definitely, and reruns. You know, the thing that I never saw was the A-Team remake movie. Back when they were doing that in like the 2000s. I'm sure it wasn't good. Because you know, well, because you know who's in it. Whose face? Bradley Cooper is face.

His face? Bradley Cooper is the man. What a career, that Bradley Cooper. Who's BA? The MMA fighter... John... No. John?

You were thinking maybe John Podesta? No. I don't know what I was thinking. Quentin Jackson? Quentin thinking. Quentin Jackson? Quentin Jackson. Quentin Jackson. I can picture him. Let's not forget Liam Neeson is in it.

Liam Neeson was Hannibal. Okay, all right. So who was the loose cannon? I'm watching that tonight. Loose? It was back when they were making, like they made the Dukes of Hazzard movie with Jessica Simpson.

I never saw that one either. This may be my night tonight. Like, 2000s movie remakes of 80s television shows. Was there a, well, Night Rider was remade as a show again, but I don't think that was a... You've got Charlie's Angels remade. Charlie's Angels? There's quite a few of those.

That's been remade multiple times now. I think that might be 70s though. Huh? Is that 80s? Was that an 80s show? Rampage Jack, Quentin Rampage. Rampage Jackson. So who are the other two?

Who was Murdoch? Murdoch was Char... Walton Coggins. Charto Copley. Don't know him. Yeah, let me see his picture. He could have been a great... Sharito Copley.

And Patrick... Patrick Wilson? Who was he? Lynch? That's not one of the 18. Oh, McCraney was in there. We just talked about McCraney. Joe McCraney? He was General Morrison.

Yeah, he's good at playing a military dad or just a military guy. Okay. I don't know, what's the Rotten Tomatoes on the A-Team remake? 48. What about the fan? 66 for fans.

Okay. It seems like like a movie there. If the fans do 80% and up, I think a movie's probably worth watching, even if the critics say it's low. But they didn't. 66, that's, I don't know about that. What about the Dukes of Hazzard?

Look up that one right quick. I think that's even worse. This is why I didn't watch these at the time. Yeah, right, I mean, you gotta, you know. Ooh. That one wasn't good, was it? Yeah, right, I mean you gotta, you know. Oof. That one wasn't good, was it? Ron Tomatoes is 14%. Ouch.

Johnny Knoxville was in it. Yeah, I remember watching it when it came out because of Johnny Knoxville. Wow, 14% and 46% for... You like Johnny Knoxville simply because he's from Knoxville? Yes. Okay. Us Knoxvillians are very... I like him because he's Johnny Knoxville simply because he's from Knoxville? Yes. Okay. Us Knoxvillians are very... I like him because he's Johnny.

Hold on, Burt Reynolds plays Boss Hogg? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh my god. Yeah, it was fun. I feel like I gotta watch it regardless. I liked it. I liked it.

I thought it was fun. Let's do it. I don't think I've watched it since it's come out, but... Yeah, because it was like 2005 or something. Like, I was in high school when it came out. Jessica Simpson. That that era Jessica Simpson. Willie Nelson is in it too, yeah. Willie Nelson, what is Willie Nelson?

Uncle Jesse. Oh my gosh! It's so sad. This is a fun time! Oh he is, he is. MC Gainey played Roscoe. A rapper played Roscoe P. Coltrane? No, this guy.

Oh, that's... That guy, you know that guy. Oh yeah, he's cool. He was in Sideways. Oh now? What's the fan rating on Dukes? 46. Yeah, 46. 46.

Did they still use the Waylon theme because I think you gotta do that. Yeah, of course they did. I hope they did, yeah. I hope they did, I hope they did. Just a good ol' boy. Okay, well, I mean, we've come up with our weekend activities. Yeah, we have. I'm also DJing a party.

Oh. Very excited, I'm going complete vinyl, I think. Yep. Hours and hours of just me and my vinyl. But I do have the- So you're not gonna be leaving the booth, as they say. No, no, no. I'm gonna fade into the background. I'm just like a background host. This is not... I'm just a DJ at the party, basically, yeah, I'm excited about that. Get my spin on. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! I'm looking forward to hearing about it. [♪ squeeze in a balanced meal, well, that's where Huel comes in.

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I'm Jordan Robinson, host of the new podcast, The Women's Hoop Show. Each episode, I'll be joined by a rotating group of women's basketball experts to talk WNBA, college hoops, the new Unrivaled League, and the shifting landscape of the sport. The game is growing and so are we. Listen to and follow The Women's Hoop Show and Odyssey podcast, available now for free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get to the voicemails because we got some good ones.

Hi, Rhett and Link. This is Bailey. I was hoping you had some advice for me on how to handle the fact that my boyfriend sort of has a stalker. So this lady used to work with him a few years ago and although they've never shared an in-person interaction before, she is in love with him. She sends him letters, gifts, and has even showed up at his house every once in a while to profess her love for him.

He's very quiet and reserved person. He thinks this is no big deal because he says he can't control what she does and he never reciprocates it. But it makes me uncomfortable because of course it's my own boyfriend and she won't stop, you know, sending him all this stuff. I will mention she is an older lady who is cognitively impaired, which makes me feel awful about it. So any advice on how to approach or not approach this situation would be great. And how can I not feel so uncomfortable with the fact that this random lady is sending my boyfriend things? Okay. Love you guys. Bye. I'm regretting the term stalker once we've gotten all the information.

Well, that's what she used. She did, but I'd also used it. And I just don't know if that's the right term, given all the information. This is quite a needle to thread. I'm gonna let you start. Yeah, well I would say, step one, don't watch Baby Reindeer. Mm-mm. Okay? Don't watch that. So, okay, she's an old- Is it good though?

I would say it's good, but it's a hard watch. You know what I'm saying? It's a hard watch. Not for me then. Number two, she's an older lady, so this problem has an expiration date. I'm just gonna be honest with you. It's not gonna, this isn't gonna last forever.

So on the bright side. Number three, I think that, you know, I don't know the situation, so I'm not gonna say this lady is harmless, but let's just assume that she is, for the sake of what I'm going to advise. And that is, if she's a gift giver, a gift giving stalker, I believe, is in a slightly different category.

Because you as the girlfriend could potentially take advantage of this. If there is a way for him to communicate your preferences for gifts as his preference for gifts, you can start getting things that you like basically delivered for free to your doorstep. This is ingenuitive, but I'm still a little uncomfortable with... Well, I'm uncomfortable, but sometimes a good gift sometimes is worth a little bit of sacrifice. So you're manipulating a cognitively challenged person to give you gifts that your girlfriend wants. Well, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. You really twisted my advice.

Because what I'm saying is that. I am giving you an opportunity to. What can happen. Make the edge off. If you try to approach this, there's one way to approach it which is to shut it down. You know, you take somebody and you shut it down and you say no, no, no, you can never come here again

if you do or are getting restraining order. Sometimes that is necessary. Of course that's necessary. Sometimes that is necessary. Of course that's necessary sometimes. Yeah, but if you feel unsafe in any way, I think that supersedes anything. But if you don't feel unsafe. Especially the comedic advice, but go on.

I mean, what's the, you know when you do a white elephant and you say nothing over $20, like what is the, how good are these gifts is what I'm asking. Like what is the, how good are these gifts is what I'm asking. Like what are we, are we talking a card and chocolates? Are we talking like an air fryer? Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm not saying manipulate the lady so to increase her price point. I'm saying if her price point is she's already bringing 50 to $100 gifts on a regular basis, this is like a wedding registry. You know what I'm saying? You gotta look at what you want in the band of that thing and then somehow get him to communicate. And I think it would simply be...

Still a little uncomfortable, but go ahead. He puts a little note out and he's like, thank you, but we would really like... A blow up mattress. No, no, no. That's a bad idea. No, no, no. Nothing that would suggest anything. Whatever you're into. You know, a gift card to Outback. You know what I would like? I would like a hummingbird... Feeder? Yeah, the ones that you wear on your face,

so that the hummingbirds land on your face. You don't wanna see a hummingbird up that close. Yes I do! No you don't. Listen, a hummingbird is really cute from the distance that you typically see them. When they get close, there's an insect quality to them that will turn you off.

Oh and that needle-like beak, you feel like it's gonna poke your eye out? You won't like it as much. But you've got lenses. I'm just telling you. I think you can lure other birds. I'm developing a relationship with a hummingbird, by the way.

How do you know it's the same one? Because it perches in the exact same place. At the end of my walk with the dogs, before I turn around, there's this one tree that's in a beautiful spot that overlooks a meadow. And I looked over there one day and there was a perched hummingbird, which is symbolic for me and very special for me for... It has meaning to me, personally, which is why I have a perched hummingbird tattooed in my foliage on my arm. Yeah, your arm foliage.

Seeing a perched hummingbird is a gift for me. And I saw this perched hummingbird and I just stopped. I kept my distance, probably about 14 feet. That's a good distance. I just stared at it. And I breathed in a meditative fashion. And it was, I made it a moment. How'd you know it was a hummingbird

without seeing it flutter? Oh, then it flew. I stayed there and stared at it till it flew away. But you knew by looking at it that it already was a hummingbird? Oh yeah, I know what a perched hummingbird looks like. I have one on my arm. And then-

What's the difference between a perched hummingbird and like. I have one on my arm. And then... What's the difference between a perched hummingbird and an otherwise just small bird? Well, one's a hummingbird. But physiologically, does the breast look different? What does it do? It's the contrast between them being perched and not that is a facet of the meaning for me.

They're so active. I understand that. But what I'm saying is, a hummingbird that's flying around is obviously a hummingbird, because... Brrrrr to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. So that's another component of it. But I will tell you. Okay. And I kinda spoiled it, but like, next day I went and I kinda looked in there, you know, three or four days later. And again, there's lots of places to perch.

This is a long walk for me. I get to this point, and I just happen to look over there. Same exact perch. Like, little twig at the top of this tree. This, like, eye-level tree. And he was there again. And I did it again. So it's happened twice. And so now I'm starting to believe that this is his perch, and this is our meeting time. It's like at the right time in the morning, he's perched right there. Well enjoy it while you can. Yeah, I don't think he'll be there forever. But you know, and I may have talked about this before,

back to the elderly admirer, as I'm gonna call her. Okay, that takes the edge off a little bit. I had one of these. I had an elderly admirer who was mentally challenged, or whatever the correct term is, forgive me, at church. Back, remember this? No. What?

At Buies Creek First Baptist? Yes, at Buies Creek First Baptist Church. Okay, yes. I had like an older lady admirer. She didn't, and she might've, a couple of times I got gifts, but I was probably- You were like a kid.

15, 14, maybe 13. Okay. And that's an awkward age. What kind of gifts did she give you? Notes, maybe a flower, that type of thing. That's nothing to get too excited about. Well, it was hard for me to get excited at that age. It's like I didn't know what to do, you know?

I didn't have a girlfriend to like help me or to call into a podcast. Did you tell anyone? Cause you didn't really tell me. Did you know? I didn't have a girlfriend to help me or to call into a podcast. Did you tell anyone? Because you didn't really tell me. This is the kind of thing you would have kept to yourself at that age. Yeah, I just kinda, I was just nice to her. But I was an uncomfortable, you know, pubescent kid.

But what did the notes say? Like admiration type things. Okay. But it got a little intense. Uh-huh. But it didn't get inappropriate. Okay. And I wasn't afraid. I was just...

And we don't know if this has gotten inappropriate, other than the showing up at the house, which is highly inappropriate. I mean, I think it's just... In retrospect, it was nice that, you know, she appreciated things about me that brightened her day. You know, I would say it would have brightened her day. You know, it's like, now you can, in a weird way, your boyfriend is brightening somebody's day. If no harm, no foul, don't ruin it. Don't ruin it for her. If he doesn't think it's a big deal no harm, no foul, don't ruin it. Don't ruin it for her.

If he doesn't think it's a big deal, just, I mean, just consider him non-monogamous. You're getting on me about my advice? I'm not saying go all the way. I'm not saying any, I'm not trying to make it sexual. I don't know why I said that. I just meant like, in terms of, like... You know, he's got a side... they call it a side piece. Another girlfriend.

But it's more of, like... Hold on. Okay, just so we can be clear. We know... You just said that he should treat his elderly stalker as a side piece, and then you were getting all mean about my advice. Just in a friendly way. Mm.

Sorry, shouldn't have taught it. I mean, I had a, in retrospect, I have fond memories of my friendship with Joyce. Oh, Joyce, okay. Yeah. Well, if you feel unsafe. Yeah, I've already said that. Right, but- It supersedes.

And I don't necessarily, obviously feel unsafe, but also if you feel like there's any animosity directed at you that makes you feel uncomfortable, like are you in the way of this thing? She sees you as a threat, then that's potentially problematic. But maybe she doesn't even know you exist. In fact, it's better if she doesn't know you exist because then she doesn't, there's no chance that she'll know that she's giving you gifts when his preferences change to whatever you're into. Which is what I'm sticking with. You know, if you feel unsafe, put a stop to it,

but if you think it's harmless, make the gifts count. I will say I never thought I wanted an air fryer, but once you use it, ooh wee, it's off to the races, boy. Like, it's a leftover transformer. Oh, so you've been cooking in the air fryer, but just leftovers. Oh yeah, just leftovers. It is a great way to rejuvenate pizza.

Chicken strips. Mm-hmm, fries even. Yeah, it can work wonders. It can rejuvenate some stuff, so that's the thing to get. Next voicemail. Hi, Rhett and Link. My name is Lindy, and I have this theory that everyone has five absolutely nots, and these are things that you just get to play, get out of jail free card. I absolutely will not do this. And you need no explanation. But you can only have five.

And if you want to have a new one, you have to replace one that you previously had. And I like this theory because it keeps me open-minded and like just open to trying new things as long as they're not on my absolutely not list. For example, mine are downhill skiing, yogurt, cemeteries, and Zumba. My fifth one is open and I need some ideas so I'd love to know what are your absolutely nots? Again, my name is Lindy. Love you guys. Thanks. What's so wrong with Zumba? Have you ever seen it? Uh-uh. Google it.

Does it involve the exercise balls? I think it's just, it's jazzercise adjacent. Okay, okay. It's a self-respect thing. What do you think of this concept? Five absolutely not. Well, I didn't know where it was gonna go. When I thought it was just a list of things

that you don't like, but it was like, oh no, this is, I'm only able to put five things on the list to keep me open to other things, which I really like. I have a really difficult time coming up with things that are absolute nos for me, because I have a lot, because I don't, you know, there's not a lot of things I don't like,

but I'm not shaving. I mean, I put that on the list. Okay. You know, that's a no for me. Yeah. Any others? Downhill skiing, I should probably put that on my no list, honestly.

But you have those like ski boots molded to your feet. I know, and I use them, and I took a lot of advantage of those and actually had a really good time. All right, then they're done. You've got to use some of them. But I don't know, it's still fun, but every time, I mean, Jacob, of course, who works here, recovering from a ACL tear from downhill skiing.

I've been on crutches for weeks and weeks and weeks. You just, you see the impact of an injury like that, and I'm like, is it worth it? There are other things that I can do. I can play a downhill skiing video game. Okay, so that's two. And I don't eat organ meats, which... I don't think that's not, that's kind of unnecessary.

No, no, but this is the thing. It's not like no one's gonna put that on a, well, liver, chicken liver. I have a thing about this because every time you hear people start talking about eating organ meats and how good they are for you, I'm like, well, why do I hate them so much? Yeah, well, it's on your list. You don't need to explain yourself.

But no, but I think I need organ meats. I think we're supposed to eat them. And why is it? I didn't think it was necessary to put that on there. Why is it if they're so good for you that we have a visceral reaction? It's just so... Yeah, it doesn't... No, we do, culturally. We have to trust our- Culturally. Right, we have to trust our bodies, I think.

I don't know, but I think we should be- You think it's an American palette thing? It's a modern palette thing. You know, ancient man. Oh yeah. He would hunt, he would grab the heart, he would bite, he'd take a bite of the heart like an apple. And he'd love it.

And he loved it. Yeah. My papa loves some fried chicken gizzards. Ugh. It's got all the minerals? Gross. But why do we think, I just don't know why we think it's gross,

but anyway. Because the taste of it is not refined. I'm just saying it's on my list because I can't help it being on my list. So that's shaving, I'm not gonna put skiing. I got shaving and... Gizzards. Organs.

Organ meat. Okay. I got three openings. Okay. Well, I worked up a list. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, it didn't take long at all. My five absolutely nuts. Tomatoes, of course. Yeah, okay.

Helicopters. They were fun while they lasted, but I'm not gonna press my luck anymore. Well, what happened? Well... You had an issue with one? I mean, people die. Famous people who play basketball. It's just not worth it. I've experienced it enough that the thrill has subsided, and at this point, it's not worth me pressing my luck with what I would get out of it. I've skirted through with a helicopter experience or two.

This might come back to bite you if we gotta get out of town real fast and the only way is a helicopter. Rappers selling non-exclusive features. I don't want to hear some no-name person's track that has somebody that I like on it rapping this thing that I've heard them rap one, two, three, four more times in the past two months. Hold on, this is happening? Yeah. Rappers, don't pimp out your verses to people that they can game the algorithms so that it

comes into my feed. Oh, you love Benny the Butcher. You love currency. So here you go. Here's some no-name crap artist who paid way less than market price to get your verse that's everywhere. And then I'm like, you're flooding me with the same thing. I hate it. How does this happen? Money. Oh yeah, there's just websites, it's money. Reptime.

It's literally the same thing, they just record it and they just send them the track and be like, you can use it. It's the rap feature, it's a verse, and then they just put it on their own track and they also rap on it or sing or whatever they wanna do and then they can say in, you know, Featured.

Featuring so and so who's like. Yeah. I'm gonna put that on one of my, I'm gonna put that in one of my openings. All right, what, yep. I got three now. Good, I got you. All right, here's another.

Reptiles as pets. I got you. Alright, here's another. Reptiles as pets. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's unneeded, really.

There are people in my life that I love that have reptiles as pets and I'm sorry. What kind? Snakes. I had a snake for a while. Lizards. Named Moose. And you know what we did with him?

We took him back to the pet store. Yeah. Because after a while, my son realized that there was no emotional connection. I'm sorry. Even when you name him a mammal, it still doesn't work. I think they'll be okay on their own. They don't need owners.

And finally, flavored creamer in my coffee. No! No! I want my coffee to taste like coffee! I like cream, but I just want my coffee to taste like coffee! I like cream, but I just like my coffee that tastes like coffee to be creamy. What if it was lavender flavored creamer? Because you've been doing that, I've noticed.

Did I get you? Oh. Ha ha ha ha! You want your coffee to taste like coffee. But it's not flavored, but it's not, I have not had lavender flavored creamer in my coffee. What if you, what if all it is is creamer with lavender oil put into the creamer in the same way that the syrup, whatever, would be in the coffee.

It's just a two for one. It's like shampoo and conditioner. And I have a bonus one. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, olives. I don't care what you've stuffed in them. Wrap them in. You can't have six. You can't have six. That's the whole point. I knew this was gonna be hard for you.

So that means you gotta let olives in. Your mouth. I guess I'm letting creamer, flavored creamer go. You know, a key to all of the content we're able to produce here at Mythical is that we've got a team and whenever new needs arise, we gotta get somebody in a position quickly to keep the machine going. And when it comes to hiring, Indeed is all you need.

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and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on Ear Biscuits. Indeed.com slash ears, ear with an S. Terms and conditions apply, hiring? Indeed is all you need. Okay, there we go. Hi guys. My entire life I have been a people pleaser

and have been very open to do anything for anyone in order to make other people happy above myself. And both of you seem like you're very strong-willed and have made decisions that would not make other people happy, but have made you happy. And that has in turn changed everything dramatically within your life. And that is what I am trying to accomplish. I'm trying to learn how to have that backbone instead of allowing people to walk all over me. So if you have any advice or suggestions for how to train yourself into being that type of person. I'd really appreciate it. Love you all, thank you very much, bye. Well, I mean, I'm glad.

There's some assumptions in here. I'm glad that was your assumption. But it's not true. I don't think that strong willed and people pleaser, I think those are mutually exclusive things because I am strong-willed. What do you mean mutually? Well, you can't, no. But you're about, they're not mutually exclusive. You can be both. You can be strong-willed and a people-pleaser.

Yeah, I don't know, you know what I mean. The opposite of what you say. Yeah, the opposite. I'm saying that I am strong-willed, but people, the way that you describe people-pleasing of of letting people walk over you, I don't know. Okay, I feel like that's a little bit different. That's what you said, not having a backbone. But people pleasing, case in point. Last night, when I was having dinner that I was talking about. Mm-hmm. Big boy dinner.

The waiter shows up. The first thing the waiter says is, I've been waiting on you all night. First thing, huh? Hoping for some sort of positive response, maybe a chuckle? And I was in Mick's company, and he was closest to me, and I thought, narcissistically, maybe he's a fan, I don't know. And so I was like, ha! I gave him one of those.

Ha! Ha! You have a reputation for laughing at guest jokes on GMM that aren't funny. Of course I do. Because I know you're not gonna do it. You won't do it. If you go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not, I wasn't criticizing you for it, I was just stating a fact.

But, and so that is a form of people pleasing. I completely admit it. It's just like, cause I'm kinda like, all right, it's interesting cause Tosh, you know, who has a podcast now, I saw a clip from his podcast where he was talking about his pet peeve about his wife. Is her laughing at unfunny waiter jokes. Oh, did I just do it to you?

Oh no, that was funny. Okay. And he's like, she laughs at an unfunny joke, and then he just stares at her. And I totally get it. He's like, I don't want this guy to think that he's funny. If he's not. And I'm kinda like, I don't want the rest of the night to be weird because we stonewalled you

and you made a bad joke. Yeah. And also, I don't want. It's a pleasure cycle. I don't want our celebrity guest on GMM to suddenly lose confidence and become uncomfortable because no one laughed at their joke at the beginning of the thing.

So yes, I fake laugh at people who are not funny. So I don't know how you wanna receive that. I also laugh at myself quite a bit. But. Give yourself that boost that you need. So I'm gonna say that, and I think that's a personality thing, I think you either have it or you don't have it,

and I don't necessarily think that you should try to change it. Like I'm not gonna stop laughing at things that aren't funny if I'm the only one who might do it for people, because I'm like, you know what, it's fine if you continue in the delusion that you're funny and you're not. But not having a backbone, letting people walk all over you, that's a different thing, which I do not believe I do that. And even if it is of the same category,

it's an extreme version of it. Like to be a people pleaser who is a doormat is just, is the far end of that spectrum. You know, I think you gotta have a code. You know, I've heard it said that everybody has a code, but that's not true. But it's good to have a code, and the best codes are written down. I think you might need to start writing down things.

I mean, I'm inspired by our previous conversation of our five not-me-evers or whatever they call it. I think that would be a good place to start. You know, write it down. That way it becomes real. Give me an example, how it would apply in this situation. There's certain things you're not willing to do, you know? That even though it might please somebody.

So it might be laughing at a joke that's not funny. It's like if that's something that you want to write down as part of your code. A boundary. Yeah, a boundary. Like you got some principles. And in that way, it's more about you being true to yourself. You've got something to balance it out, right? When you have that urge to just, oh, I'm gonna make this feel okay. I want everything to feel okay. Step it

into some discomfort. Mm-hmm. I think maybe there is a way to practice in a low stakes environment. Okay. So for instance, I'm not, I don't like small talk. I'm really bad at it. I don't like it.

So I just, in lots of circumstances, like a cashier, how you doing today? They ask me. Good, how about you? I give very like, nothing interesting. There's a wall there, it's like, I don't wanna talk to you about things right now.

It's just my natural disposition. I'm just not that warm when it comes to those, I'm on an elevator with somebody. I'm not gonna ask them a weird question. Yeah. Or give them a gonna ask them a weird question. Yeah. Or give them a weird answer to a normal question. Even though it would be better for them if I were to be warmer or whatever.

But maybe for me, what I should do, in this, you think about what situation it would be for you, maybe the next time a waiter says something that's not funny, I just stay completely stone-faced. Just as a, it's low stakes. It's just a dinner, it's just a waiter. Like, maybe he'll be like, okay, I'm not gonna use that joke again.

At least not with tall people. See how bad your service is after that. And I'll still tip well, but that's kind of a low stakes environment, right? I'm not gonna do that on GMM. I'm not gonna be like, okay, celebrity guest is on, if he's not funny, I'm not laughing. Because that's gonna be bad.

Don't do that. But so maybe you think about like, low stakes practice. What if they're going on a long road trip with a friend and you're like, you know what, I just don't, your friend says, you know, I just don't like to drive. Can you drive, but you don't wanna drive, or your car, there's some issue with your car or something.

You know, it's like, how you gonna, you gotta be able to tell him. You know what? I can't drive this time. You make me drive every time. Why don't you take a turn? I don't know why that's the example I'm giving, but it is. Or road trips are very popular. Yep, yep. Or at least get them to pay for half the gas. You drive and you're paying for all the gas, I feel like this is just a way for you trying to get me to pay for all the gas.

Well, you're probably thinking about a very particular, you're thinking about particular relationships in particular situations. So I think your idea about, let's just pick one. Let's pick an area because actually, I don't think it's growing a backbone because backbone is bones. Yeah.

If you got a bad backbone like me, it's gonna be bad forever, but what you can do is you can strengthen the back muscles around it. And muscles need to be stressed in order to be broken down to be built stronger, right? And so that's what this has gotta be. You're like, okay, I have this specific situation with this specific person and it's this pattern where they do this thing and I let them do it. I'm gonna focus on that one thing.

I'm not gonna think about the mountain of things that I want to change. I'm gonna think about the isolate, I'm gonna isolate that muscle. And then you're gonna do some reps. Do some reps. There you go, you're gonna do some reps on it. And you do that one situation and you're like,

that felt good, okay, all right. That's really practical, Rhett, I like that. You set a one situation, and you're like, mm, that felt good, okay, all right. That's really practical, Rhett. You set a boundary there, and then you're like, what's the next exercise that I can do? And as a reminder, I think you need to start putting the phrase, I'm not a doormat in strategic places. Most importantly, ha, on your doormat. I think you need a doormat.

Every time you walk into your house. You look down, you wipe your feet, and it says, your doormat says, I am not a doormat. I am not this. I am not this? You wanna be a little cryptic. Well, I'm not a doormat. It's kind of an ironic doormat. Yeah, that would be a fun t-shirt too.

Well then it would be, I'm not a t-shirt. But it would be a doormat on a t-shirt. That's not as good, Rhett. Well, but then people- You're trying to improve on my idea, but- No, but then people see it. But now people have to come to your house to see it. But then they're chuckling, and it might be because they're a doormat.

It's because it's not that funny. Oh, it's a doormat decipherer. That's right. You're looking, like you got that camera at your door, and you're looking if they give a little chuckle. I wonder if somebody already sells this. I'm not a doormat dormant. Oh no, looked at a let's hear another voicemail though, because I've I've solved it. It can't be improved upon Hey link, hey Rhett, my name is Richard. I'm a father to 14 year old daughter 10 year old son

Currently I live about four hours away from them. So every time I can, I'm traveling up to see them. In a couple of months I'll be moving up there as well. But I'm really struggling right now with connecting with my daughter. Of course she's 14. She's got so much else going on with her life and I'm just looking for some creative ways. I know I need to be patient. I know that this is she's coming into herself. I understand all that but I'm really really missing her. I'm missing her little childlike ways being able to hug her tight and and play with her and like have fun with her and she's she's just so distant to me right now, both physically and emotionally. I'm just looking for some creative ways to kind of reconnect with her. I love you

guys so damn much. Keep being wonderful and I love you. Bye. Wow. I mean, the emotions are eking out sideways with this guy. I like this guy. Yeah. Because he likes us. Well, I think he's really missing a connection with his daughter and it's kind of like, it's kind of hitting us sideways. And we will take it.

Here's a virtual hug. And be safe while you're driving, which it sounded like you were doing. But I assume you're not anymore. Maybe you are as you're listening to this. What an experience. Mm, okay. Hey, thanks for the voicemail. It's layered.

I will let you know quickly before you answer this that there is a doormat. This just in. That says I'm not a doormat. $20 on Amazon. $20 on Amazon. Or if you don't buy things from Amazon, I totally get that.

Just go to Hobby Lobby. Nope. And if you don't buy things from Hobby Lobby, I bet you can just get it on Etsy. Yep, I was just gonna say, there is one on Etsy. Etsy's the spot. Yeah! I'm not a doormat.

Doormat, what? Now you're a father of a daughter that was at 1.14. Yep. That was six years ago. In that wild. No, it was eight years ago. It was eight years ago, in that wild. Man, do I, I mean, it's a tough time.

And you've got the added challenge of distance. You gotta let go of the things that you're missing that are of the previous era. And that might include physical affection for a while. I think that there was quite a stint there where there were no hugs received well. Turns out I don't think there was that much to it. So I wouldn't worry about it.

No, it's totally natural, totally normal. So I think this is a tough one. For me and Lily, it really was about, I found a common interest in movies, like she was really into Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, and like I think we would just talk about that a lot, because there was a lot of Star Wars stuff happening, and it was easy to talk about

because I was legitimately interested in it. And it's easy to talk about something out that's... finding something like that is like the... that's the holy grail. Because when you start talking about... trying to talk about their lives... They don't want to. And their perspectives or their relationships, even their schooling or, you know, it's just, I don't know, it doesn't really work. There's something about being able to, I'm speaking from the perspective of connecting with sons,

but it's the same in that they go through this teenage time where they are changing so much and suddenly you are not cool and you may be a buzzkill where the facing each other becomes much harder than both facing the same direction. There you go. It's kind of like what we were talking about the facing each other becomes much harder than both facing the same direction. There you go. It's kinda like what we were talking about with the hiking date.

Like you can be facing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going somewhere together. And when you're like. It takes the pressure off. Yeah, yeah, you find that, it's that common interest, but I don't think what you can do,

at least I'm guessing, is they're interested in something that is very much 14-year-old girl. Right. And you're like, well, I'm going to become interested in that because they see right through that, you know? And also you probably won't actually be interested in it. Right.

But there's, I'm sure there's something. I was fortunate to have something, but it's like in terms of the main factor. There's gotta be something. There's gotta be something that's like a common interest. And if there's, for me and Shepard, we love watching movies together at home, but also we go to the movie theater quite a bit together. Like we just, and we like watching horror movies together

and classic movies together. And then you can get him talking about the movie afterwards. Like we talk about that quite a bit. We connect about that that quite a bit. We connect about that stuff quite a bit. We also connect just like, you know, he'll talk to me about himself as well. It's not like I have a rift that I'm trying to,

but if I did have a moment where there was like, oh, there's a distance, that would be an easy thing to connect with him about. It was a common interest like that. Something else that our friend Gar is like a master at this technique, I think, and you've got some good experience with it, is the road trip, which I thought about that as like, it's a version

of like the hiking thing, it's like you're driving somewhere, you're both in the front seat, you're both facing, you're both in the front seat, you're both literally going towards something that could be something that she wants, especially because you have to drive there, and it seems like if you guys are hanging out, there might be, it might lend itself to that. So finding something that you're going to,

and it might just be something she's into that you're not into. But just... It's a classic dad taking the daughter and her friends to a Taylor Swift concert. Right. Yeah. But secretly, he has planted a bomb there. What? That's a movie. that came out this year. What? Oh good, I'm glad that was a movie,

because that's good. It was an M. Night movie, where the dad is at the concert. Oh, I did not see this movie. And he's like. This is the one that was directed by his daughter, ironically. Oh it was?

Yeah, I think so. I didn't see it, but I just know that it was called like, I don't know what it was called. Colin Farrell's in it, right? Oh. I don't know. I think he was, it's like a serial killer that they're doing a sting operation. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a bomb.

But he was like, yeah, he's there to kill. But he's acting like a dad. Don't do that! Do that. But he's acting like a dad. Don't do that! Do that! Eugh. I feel like there's something in there for ya. You know? And just keep it low key. Keep it low key. Don't push really hard. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't seem desperate.

It's like, you gotta lure into interest with something that she's interested in. But also, this is, for most kids, totally normal, not a sign that there's something wrong. In fact, with certain personalities, this is a sign that something is right with them. There's actually like a biological... Like a separation thing. The separation, yeah. Yeah, like I gotta figure out who I am. I have to go and start my own family kind of like, you know.

Yeah, encourage her to start her own family as soon as possible. Yeah, don't do that. That's it. Sorry we buried the lead on that one. Don't do that, don't do that. That's it. Don't do that. Sorry we buried the lead on that one. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. We got one more for the road. Hi Rhett and Link. I am asking for some advice.

How do you get out of the friend zone? I was seeing this guy for a few weeks. Everything was going really well, and all of a sudden yesterday, he was seeing this guy for a few weeks. Everything was going really well, and all of a sudden yesterday, he tells me that he wants to be friends. So let me know what you think. Thanks, guys. Well, I mean, this is not just the friend zone. This is like you started out in the dating zone and then got put in the... Is that what being friend zone can also just mean I'm interested in somebody, but they just immediately redirect the friends.

That's usually how I think about the friend zone. The fact that you dated and then you basically broke up with you and did it in a nice way is what it sounds like. Jenna, you really wanna say something and I really want you to do it as well. Yeah, I don't know the situation. You can be friends with someone after that, but I don't think there's any going back. No.

Yeah, you've been dumped. Yeah, you've been dumped, and he's done it in a polite way, and doesn't wanna hurt your feelings, so he said, letLet's just be friends." So now it's in her court if she wants to remain friends or if she's like, I can't be around this person. I think you should start giving him gifts. Like an air fryer. Yeah, that's a good one. Probably...

Showing up at his house unexpectedly? Yeah. With notes. That's gonna help. Yeah, you need to rip the band-aid off here. Yeah, give him band-aids. Just use band-aids. Rip them off him.

I just think that this whole... Listen, I'm not one of those guys that says that men can't be friends with women. I just think that this whole, I'm not gonna, listen, I'm not one of those guys that says that men can't be friends with women because that's not true. But it is very difficult for two people to be friends after they were romantically involved. And this doesn't sound like this was a long-term

relationship where you're like, you know what, we're gonna be seeing each other or whatever, so let's just be friends, let's keep it. This sounded like it, I don't know the circumstances, but if it was like the only reason for your interaction was potentially romantic and then he basically makes it into a friend zone situation, you just step out of the friend zone. You don't need that friend. You don't need that friend. Right? Yeah, if you want more and it ain't gonna happen,

I'm gonna give you a song to listen to. George Strait sang, Nobody in his right mind would have left her. It's got that country, turn a phrase, right and left. That's what you need to move on in such a way that, like, if he were to notice, he has this clarity that he made a bad choice. But you gotta move on. And then you gotta show him what...

He's got your number. You know, you gotta... and then when you're on your next hot date and you happen to run into him in the TJ Maxx, which is one of the hottest dates I can imagine off the top of my head for some reason. You know, the hot TJ Maxx date? You get a good deal. They might have a doormat that says,

I'm not a doormat for a good price. And he's walking by and he's like, wow, what is that doormat saying? Then he looks up and he realizes that it's you, but it's not the you that he knew. It's the new you that he wishes he was with. Make him beg for it. Make him lose his beg for it. Make him lose his backbone over it. But this is good advice because... Thank you.

Desperation is not attractive. Right? So when you ask, how do I get out of the friend zone, it's like, is there something I can do to change his mind at this point? Possibly, but it would necessarily require starting the relationship off in a place of desperation and compromise, in which you just, you just don't wanna have to talk somebody into you. Right? Exactly.

You don't wanna have to talk somebody into you. You wanna have to maybe like talk them out of you. You know, it's like, I think that's as simple as it is. I like it, there's a theme emerging in this episode. Now, if you're on the prairie though. Oh, what? Like if you're on the prairie though. Oh, what? Like if you're on the prairie, I'm just saying in the modern world.

Back in the prairie days, when there was like one girl in town that you were completely infatuated with, I think in those days, you might desperately try to talk your way into a relationship with her, because it could be like... Because who else are you gonna take to the barn dance? Yeah, right. So there have been many people who have desperately talked their way into relationships that probably ended up working out okay, but in the prairie days. Right.

So post-prairie days, I think that you definitely don't want a relationship to start in this way. Yep. But a good barn dance is only rivaled by a TJ Maxx shopping spree, so keep that in mind. One more thing to consider, I think. If she wants to get out of the friend zone, stop being friends with him. Stop giving your time to him. Oh yeah. And when you stop giving your time to him, if he suddenly realizes, no I still want her around

and blah blah blah, set those boundaries. Yeah. And that is the theme that has emerged in this wonderful Ear Biscuit that we've created together. Boundaries, yeah. Is principles, like living by a code, that it's, boundaries are included, but it's also like this is These are things that I've decided that I'm not gonna do

These are things that I decided I am gonna do and this is who I've decided I'm gonna be in certain situations and I'm making up my mind ahead of time and I don't have to explain myself because I've convinced myself the only person you really have to explain myself, because I've convinced myself. The only person you really have to convince of something is yourself. The only person you can convince of something is yourself. What? Okay, is that a question mark? That's not true. You can convince other people of things, right?

No, you can't. You can only influence. Ah! So you didn't make that up. No, Mel Robbins did. Okay. Love Mel Robbins, yes. All right. Well there it is. I mean, that's a good, put that on your back door mat.

Okay, there's a back, I mean. What, you laughed at me saying back door? Yes. Sorry, tattoo that on your backdoor. This is a backdoor. I'm a child. The only person you can convince is yourself. If you wanna leave us a voicemail, we'll listen to it,

and boy will we talk about them. One, eight, eight, eight. EarPod One. We value your contribution and just hanging out with us. We'll talk at you when? Next week. Yep. Hi Rhett and Link.

Alyssa here. Thank you guys just so much for existing. My son was recently hospitalized in the ICN in San Francisco for six months and Good Mythical Morning got me through every day. I would watch it at his bedside every morning and it was just a laugh that I needed during those really dark times. We're home now and he's doing good, but every time I listen to the podcast or watch an episode, I'm just reminded

that you guys got me through that. And thank you, love you.