Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - We Reply To Your Voicemails #1 (From Good Mythical MORE)

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

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This, this, this is mythical. What should you do with that fake husband of yours? Welcome to Good Mythical More. Tell him, Rhett. We're going to answer some voicemails because this is a thing that we used to do on Ear Biscuits. We are on an indefinite hiatus from Ear Biscuits and we wanted to do it over here on Good Mythical More. Right. So we're actually going to take some of the questions that we got from Ear Biscuits and answer them. but we are so going to add arso.

Arso is a new word when you combine R and also. We're also going to ask you to leave voicemails at a new number. We have a new 800 number that you can call and leave voicemails. 1-833 GM or 1. 1-833 GM more 1. We challenge you to leave a succinct in voicemail

that we can't help but answer. Yeah. You know, if that's advice, or asking for our, just perspective on something that happened to you, or that you're dealing with, or that you wanna know, and that only two people you can turn to or your internet uncles or whatever.

Right. I don't know. If it's fun, we'll keep doing it. But it's kind of up to you to play along. This is only as good as your questions, not our answer. No, we're going to do our best to help you. Let's hear the first one.

Hi, guys. This is Chloe from Orlando, Florida. I'm a lesbian, and I've recently gotten into women's soccer. And when I called to buy a season ticket, I told the representative that I had to think about it for some time and consult with my partner. Now, I don't have a partner. I just needed to buy time.

But she said, okay, talk it over with your husband, and I'll get back to you. And I just went along with it. And now she calls me to try and connect with me and asks about my husband, and every time I make things up, I did buy the season ticket, and unfortunately this means I'm going to be seeing her pretty frequently, and I just don't know if I can keep coming up with lives. about my husband. What?

Okay, this is, wow, this is a, what a tangled lesbian weave you have woven. Yeah. I think we're gonna have to cut through this, you know? We're gonna have to cut through it. I mean, first of all, why did it take you this long to get to women's soccer? I thought that was like day two.

Okay, but here's what I'll say. There's a couple of other things too. Yeah, right. It's not that, that Chloe, it's not just the clarification that the partner is a woman, it's that you don't have a partner. The partner doesn't exist.

The partner doesn't exist. It's a double lie. So you've double lied. And then there's this weird thing that you don't, she called to get tickets. Right. Which in and of itself is a bit strange. Typically tickets are bought online.

I know what you're about to talk about and I haven't answered for you. And then you're buying. You're buying the tickets from a person that then you think you, what are you gonna be sitting with them? What, you're gonna be sitting next to this person? Why are you seeing the person that you bought the tickets from? I'll tell you why.

At the soccer game, because she's a lesbian, that's why. Well, okay. There's a couple of reasons here. Do you remember many years ago, maybe 10 years ago when the kids were younger, we had this idea. We were Clippers fans, let's get Clippers season tickets so we can take Locke and Lincoln to the games

and then we'll go to a few games and then we'll sell all the rest of the tickets because we talked to somebody and they were like, you get the season tickets, you go to a few games, you upsell the rest of it, and you actually make money. Oh. Not true.

Not true when you've got Clipper season tickets. Maybe if you've got Lakers season tickets. That was our miscalculation there. But I was the one who handled that and you get a liaison who's a person who, like, calls you and sends you emails, and they're trying to develop a relationship so you'll keep buying season tickets.

Now, take NBA back, and bring that down a little bit in terms of the number of people who are going to the games. We got soccer. And so we got less people. And so I just think that the relationship between the ticket person and the season ticket holder

is even stronger. There might even be a bond there. You won't even call it a bond. And so that explains that part. So this could be a long-term relationship, especially if she finds out how much she loves women's soccer, which I'm gonna tell you right now, she's gonna love it.

She's gonna love. That's gonna happen. Can I point out something else? I don't know how, I mean, this is your biscuits on more, so it don't, is that allowed? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. You have certainly on the right. Yeah.

Someone who has the confidence to buy a season, season tickets for them, only themselves, they're gonna go to all these games by themselves. Is the implication? No, I think she's going to take people. I think she's getting two season tickets. But she just wanted to get all of them. to get off the phone to think about it, and that was the lie that she came up with. Let me talk to my partner.

Yeah. Well, I was gonna say someone that confident doesn't need to lie about. That I completely agree with that. I think you have a few options here. Now, if this was the kind of situation in which you thought that, like in some ways you've like gone back

into a closet that you created for yourself, right? Yeah. And so when you come out of the closet that you created for yourself, That's your business. I can't tell you when to do that. I will say, we're dealing with someone who sells tickets for women's soccer.

So I'm assuming that there's no, like, you're not like, you know, like, oh, this is a difficult conversation kind of thing, right? This woman is, this woman is seeing lesbians all the time. And she's working for you. Right, yeah, this woman's working for lesbians as we speak. And your husband.

So I just think it's up to you. What's more fun? Is it more fun? Because a lot of times, sometimes, Sometimes creating a little fiction can be fun, especially if you can just say, the first time you see this woman at one of the games, she's like, how's your husband?

You're like, you've got some stories, and then you're like, of course, he's not into women's soccer. That's why I brought Darla. Dvorce. Fictional divorce. Fictional divorce? You bought the season tickets, you meet her at the game.

Yeah, we are this deep already. And you know what? We divorced over these tickets. Oh, yes. He didn't want me to get these tickets, and after the conversation that we had, I was like, I got to, I got you getting. And he thinks I'm a lesbian.

Yeah, how it gets even better. Yeah. And then season two, you show up and you're like, turns out he was right. Because now you're bringing a date to every game. Because this has got to be prime, I don't know, Stevie, is this prime lesbian date? I still haven't been to, what is it, Angel City?

Hitch says it's, I got a big, Well, Hitch is approved to speak on behalf. I would think that women's soccer would be like, this is perfect. This is almost like, what is the festival where the Indigo girls play? This is Lillifair with a ball. Is it not?

Is it not? Is it not? And I think their mascot is thighs. Right? What is the, The local pro- Women's soccer team. Hitch. Angel City?

Yeah. There's so many local soccer teams. But the visualization that is too thick thighs. Angel City, Angel City thighs. Yeah. All right. Okay, well I think we've solved this one, Chloe. You know what to do.

Let's hear another one. Hey, Rhett and Link, this is Olivia. So me and my fiance are getting married, But me and my fiancée Atlas had decided that we were going to let it be a kid-free wedding. And my aunt received her letter or invitation in the mail the other day and saw that her eight-year-old son. And got super, super upset that we were not including him. And I'm just, how do I go about this situation? Because I don't want to bend for her.

and she also kind of sent me a condescending text message. It felt like she was kind of holding her help over my head for the wedding, and I don't love that. So I would love to know your thoughts. I can't come to your wedding if I can't bring my eight-year-old son with me. I really want him to experience your wedding. It's your wedding. Coming out.

Come on, aunt. note, that's your nephew though. He said, my aunt's eight-year-old son. That's your nephew, right? Right. Well, cousin, maybe. I do think that you're onto something with this childless wedding.

I think you can keep that going. Childless everything, childless dates, childless movies, childless church services. Did she say- Just childless it up? She, is holding her house over me? Her help.

Her help. The aunt's not gonna help with the wedding if her eight-year-old son can't come to the wedding. Well, I see you're upset about it. You have to respect people's decisions, and why does it matter so much? Why does it hurt your feelings so much? Well, we're not talking to the aunt.

We're talking to Olivia, right? That's true. Okay, so the first thing I will say, Olivia, is that now that you have made this decision and you have dictated this, you've set a boundary, but let's just come back, maybe for the second time you get married. I'm just gonna give my overall POV,

I completely understand the desire for the child-free wedding. I totally understand it, I've had children, but at the same time I will say that isn't the whole point of a public ceremony, a public wedding, is like you're getting married in front of your friends and fans, because you're basically like demonstrating this. Only if you want that to be the point.

Hold on, I'm just saying that like, the point is what you make it. Not for Olivia, but just for others who are thinking, I understand the convenience factor, but I think that maybe children seeing the marriage happening is maybe not a bad thing, but we're setting that aside. Who knows what, she's having a porn wedding. Because you've already set the,

you've already set the boundary. So now- She's having a porn wedding? Maybe, and she could if she wanted to. It could be a lingerie, it could be like Victoria's Secret Wedding. Did you say porn wedding? A porn wedding? Is that what you did say?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, but I'm saying I don't think that the nephew should be there for it. Um, and she certainly has the right to make it that. Hold on. Do you know these people? Is that why you're, is that why you're so. I just, I don't like when people get in other people's business.

Like, when, when, you know, A decision is yours and then somebody is gonna them try to manipulate to get their eight year old to come to it. The eight year old doesn't give a crap. This is probably true. But I could be wrong. I could be wrong about all this, so here's my solution.

Okay, this is a quick turn. Take a deep breath, call up your aunt and say, you know what, I'm gonna make an exception for you. Bring your eight year old son who's my nephew or cousin, but he's got a man up. Well, that was literally, what I was thinking was let's put a mustache on. He's gotta wear a mustache,

he's got to wear a tux, he's gotta be balding a little bit. Let's go ahead. Like a, you can make an eight year old look like a very old man. I think he needs to- Or a very old woman. Yeah, like a drinking problem or something? No.

What if he just has, yeah, he's got old man clothes on, give him a cane. Well, this actually, this was my solution. I was like, I feel like, We're on the same page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just, I'm taking a little bit of issue with the child free wedding thing,

but I'm saying you've already done that. It's none of my business either. But now that you've done it, I just think that you have to think about minimizing the amount of damage, because if really holding the line here is the thing that you wanna do, if that's gonna create more pain than not holding the line,

let the eight-year-old cross the line, but the eight-year-old has across the line on your terms, and that they have to look like a very old woman when they come to the wedding and no one will bat an eye. I think it might be difficult. Old woman? I'm saying, I think it's difficult to make

an eight year old boy look like an old man, but I think you make him like an old woman probably. Well, if it's a porn wedding, he has to come as a pizza delivery man. Yes, and that is also an option. So you let them come, but under conditions. And that child will learn an important lesson, which is you don't get exactly what you want.

If you, sometimes you wanna go to a wedding, you gotta look like an old woman. I mean, The reason why child free weddings exist. That's probably true. Come on. That's probably true. You know, why do child free weddings exist?

I think baby free weddings, here's the thing. Because you don't want to disturb the ceremony? An eight-year-old is not going to disturb a ceremony. A baby, a toddler, that's why a lot of times it says children six and under, not permitted. I think when you just say child free, you're like, what is the cutoff? 12, you can't have a 12 year old at this wedding? I mean, what do you think?

Chase, you've officiated at least two weddings. Would you say six and under is at the point where you would be very distracted? Yeah, see, Chase doesn't talk to children. That's not true. As a policy. I just think that eight is the, what kind of kid is this?

Eight year olds, they're not gonna do anything, right? So six is the cutoff. A five year old, that's a problem. Five year old and a other. They have no ability to control themselves. They'll start whining openly. And eight-year-old's not gonna do that. I am wondering what the aunt's health has to do

with anything. Help? Health. She's holding her. No, her help, I thought she said. Her help, she's holding, she's not a cystic. I thought we answered that earlier. I thought you said, I said, did she say house? No, help.

You know, I think, like the day of the wedding, she's there to do some crowd control. I don't know what she's gonna do. Yeah, she's making the cake. And she's like, well, I'm not gonna do the thing that I was gonna do because my eight year old can't come. Yeah.

So I think maybe if you make that exception, then you may be, to clarify on the previous invitation, I would like to say that it is children six and under not permitted. And you know what, in this case, go seven and under because you got an eight year old you're letting through. But what if they just don't want kids at their wedding?

What if it's just, What if it's more of like a party wedding? Okay, well that's different. Like, it's more about the reception. Oh, you don't want kids- Child free reception? That's the norm. The norm?

The norm. Kids don't go to the reception. I thought the ceremony's like right before the reception. And then the kids go home. The kids are we- So they get to stay for the really good part. Yeah, yeah. So I didn't know that was the norm,

but that's because they don't. I don't think that's, I don't think it's the norm, but I think it's an option. Yeah, because you got a bunch of adults getting drunk late into the night. So six in under, that makes sense. We don't know why I ate, and I don't know why I got so upset. I get so upset about people being so opinionated without thinking things through. Okay.

But we solved it, right?