Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - We Resolve Your Disputes | Ear Biscuits Ep. 360

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

What’s the difference between ground and floor? Is watching your own kid considered babysitting? You’re beefing with loved ones and Rhett and Link are here to help! In this episode, they’re listening to your voicemails and settling your disputes once and for all! Who needs open communication when you can have two guys on the internet to solve your problems for you? Want to hear your voice on Ear Biscuits? Call 1-888-EAR-POD1 and we might just play your call on an upcoming episode! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. With Uber Reserve, you can book your Uber ride in advance. 90 days in advance. Perfect for all you forward thinkers and planning gurus. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. Uber Reserve. See Uber app for details. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link.

And I'm Rhett. This week at the roundtable of dim lighting, we are responding to your questions and disputes that you brought to us when we asked you, Are you beefing with a friend, family member, or partner? Let us settle your dispute once and for all. Serious, funny, or bizarre. We're here to help. That's us. Give us a call

at 1-88- EarPodOne. So we're gonna do that with our many years of settling disputes, both with each other and with others. We're somewhat experts. We're peacemakers. We're peacemakers, but we're problem solvers. Problem solvers. And today- Engineers. It's not just about making peace, it's about being right. Everyemakers, but we're problem solvers. Problem solvers. And today, engineers.

It's not just about making peace, it's about being right. Every, yeah, right, we're gonna tell you who definitively in your dispute is right. Unless we disagree, which is gonna get awkward. But before we get into that, I have a little update I wanna give you, a little something I've been sitting on since I arrived here this morning. Oh.

As you know, I played in my first ever celebrity golf tournament yesterday. I didn't know that. Yes, I did. So you got to play with a celebrity? Yeah, I did. Yeah, it was the Comedy Gives Back, second annual Comedy Gives Back Celebrity Golf Tournament.

And it was funny because I just, it's something I've always wanted to do. Like I see like the- You want to give back to comedy? Well, yeah, I see the, like the celebrity pro-ams and stuff and I like golf and I, at least in some circles, am considered a celebrity. So I was like, just, you know, little bucket list item,

let's play in one and see what happens. So because I guess in some senses I am a comedian, I was included in this group of about 25 standup comedians. Oh. Including the one and only Bill Burr. What a standout standup comedian. Yeah, so like legit standup comedians. Oh yeah.

Like respected and established standup comedians who are so good at standup comedy that they get parts in the Mandalorian, like those kinds of people, right? Yep. He was the most well-known one there. In fact, he may have been the only one who they auctioned off playing with him,

but they didn't auction off playing with anybody else. So you were assigned to like a foursome. Yeah, a foursome that ended up being a twosome and then a threesome and then the fourth guy didn't show up because he got COVID. Long story, but it was what they ended up doing for me, I guess because I was the oddball, the internet guy, is as opposed to putting me with like a group of four friends

or like a group of four people from a company, there were the reps for the brands that were doing things. So like the Liquid Death guy, because Liquid Death was supplying the water for this, just like they supplied for Mythicon. Big fan. The guy who was supplying the shirts for everybody. And then-

So you were the brand liaison comedian. And then the Porsche guy. There was a hole where if you got a hole in one, you won a Porsche Macan or whatever you- Oh. Is it Mee-can or Pee-can? Macan? That guy- Oh. Is it Mikan or Pecan? Macan? That guy.

And then there was another guy who got COVID and enjoyed. So anyway, we did not win. It was fun. Yes. But the thing that I was actually kind of nervous about is that they said that there was going to be a joke telling contest at night at dinner in front of all these comedians and all the teams.

Oh. And that the comedian from the team is responsible for coming up with the joke and delivering the joke. Joke telling contest, even that as a phrase seems like antiquated and strange. That's a big part of this. It was a joke, like a joke joke telling contest.

Not a routine, not a standup routine, not a story that happened to you. It was like, you tell a joke joke, like a joke with a setup and a punchline, which interestingly, like in that comedy community, you know, especially these guys who are of this age, middle age or whatever, like, you know, stand up comedy in the 80s, 90s, there was a lot of jokes.

There's kind of a tradition of jokes. And so they kind of respect jokes, especially, well, and here's another thing that you would not be surprised to know. I would have dropped out upon finding this out. These comedians is, they kind of just, they've kind of ignored a lot of things that have changed in society

and they still just kind of say whatever the hell they want to say. Yeah. In one sense, I sort of respect that there's a place where that's happening in comedy. That's not your place. That's not my style, but I respect it. And so I knew I was like, because they were like, anything goes. So I was like, these are going to, it's going to be so dirty. People are going to say inappropriate things. People are gonna say

politically incorrect things. You know, none of this is being recorded. Supposedly. But I was like, I have to go I gotta say, I gotta do something dirty, right? And I was also thinking I need to do something original. Like, I'm gonna write my joke. I'm not gonna

go on like Reddit and find a joke. You can't do that. Even though that's what a lot of them did. A lot of them were like, this is my uncle's favorite joke or this is a joke my dad told me multiple times growing up. That's different than going on Reddit though. If you're related to the person who told you the joke. The guy hosting it was Ben Bailey.

You may remember him as the guy who hosted Cash Cap. Oh yeah. For 14 seasons. So he's a standup. So he's emceeing the thing. Yeah. Out of a dry wit. Other comedians who I'm competing against. Now I will say, Bill Burr was not feeling great,

so he didn't stay for the joke contest, which took some pressure off. Okay, good. But Randy- Did you meet Bill? I did meet Bill. I met him before we started playing. Told him I was representing YouTube comedy. What was his reaction to that?

He was like, Bo Burnham, man! I mean, that dude is fucking crazy! Okay, okay. So, yeah. So that made me feel good. He was very nice. And I met him at the same time I met Greg Fitzsimmons,

who you would recognize if I showed you a picture of him. You know, this guy who's been like, you've seen him on the Tonight Show, whatever, and he's been around forever. So Greg was in it, and then Randy Sklar of, Randy and Jason Sklar, Sklar Brothers, was in the joke. I went right after Randy, as a matter of fact. So, I'm gonna deliver my joke for you.

Deliver your joke for all of us. I'm gonna get up there and do exactly what I did, right? I grabbed the microphone. Oh, well, you gonna stand up? No, I'm gonna stay seated because the microphone's here. And I'm gonna do word for word what I said. Sit down comedy. And people had done a lot of like classic set up

punchline jokes just to let you know the world that we're in. Ben Bailey says, Rhett McLaughlin, everybody. Smattering of applause. Smattering of applause. Disclaimer, I am an internet comedian. Smattering of applause. Disclaimer, I am an internet comedian. Smattering of laughter. Okay. Which means I don't know if they're laughing or not.

A little bit more laughter. My joke is short. Why did my ex-wife cross the road? Why? I don't know, I don't keep up with that fucking bitch. Oh wow, look at you using the F-bomb and the B-bomb. That was good. Jenna and Brian laughed at it.

So, and I'll tell ya. I'm just over here shocked, Rhett. I'm gonna, I am not a joke writer, okay? So you made that up. I made that up. Yeah, but you don't have an ex-wife. Yeah, yeah. So you also made up an ex-wife.

Yeah, right. Wow. It's a joke. The liberties that you're taking. And Ben Bailey said, I wouldn't say it killed, but it did well. It was very respectable. It was like, I would say, I didn't make it into the top three. Why did my ex-wife

cross the road? And then the answer is? Well, first you said why? Did you have to lean back from your own mic and say why? No, I was imitating the crowd. Or did somebody do that? Yeah, that's what, when you're telling jokes to a crowd of comedians, they say, why?

Oh, okay. You know, they give you the other thing and they're not gonna jump on it and like guess the answer like some person at a comedy club. Like they're comedians, they're like, this guy's telling a joke. So it's a great crowd for that. I don't know, I don't keep up with that fucking bitch.

Yeah, yeah. My joke is short, tell me about that part of it. Like, why did you feel like you needed to say that? Because people had been saying that, if they had a short one. People would be like, this is a long one, like settle in. Some people were like, this is a short one. I feel like the-

I mean, that may have been a mistake. I feel like, if you're open to constructive feedback. Oh, I am, but I'm not gonna get into joke writing, just so you don't worry. You made an excellent choice in having such a staccato joke, but I don't think you should have said my joke is short because that was kind of, the punch of it was just how bam and it's over

because the shortness of it is part of the surprise. Well, but once you say, why did so-and-so cross the road? You know that it's a short joke because that's a classic structure of a short joke. Well, that's another reason you shouldn't have said it. That's a better reason though. I don't think that I cut the joke off, but it was more that I was just kind of like feeding off

of the things that people have been saying. I will say I didn't make it- What would I have done? No, well, let me tell you right now that I, I was definitely nervous because I was just like, I was just trying to save face and say something. Well, you self-deprecated. Say something, just do something funny and unexpected. And I would say that. You lowered the bar.

It is. You made a joke about it. Yeah, right. Then you said something you shouldn't have said. Then you said a really, a really good joke. Oh, you like it. So I see that in the vein of like. I'm offended. Like Norm Macdonald. Like, I don't know said something you shouldn't have said, then you said a really good joke. Oh, you like it. So I see that in the vein of like- I'm offended. Like Norm Macdonald.

Like, I don't know how familiar you are with like, Norm Macdonald, when he was having, he had a show for his internet show, there was this joke portion. And it was, every joke that Norm Macdonald told was always a misdirect. It was like, in that way. So that's not based on any joke,

but it's based on the structure of like a Norm Macdonald joke, which is like, I'm not gonna give you the thing that you thought I was gonna give you. I'm gonna give you, it's a joke about the joke, kinda. How'd you come up with that joke? It was not easy. Like you- Because I came up

with like four other jokes. You were like, all right, knock, knock. You were thinking about a knock knock joke? Well, no, I was trying to figure out like, how do you write a joke? Because we don't write jokes. And so I was like, Yeah.

Do I, so what, here's what I did. I would be like, okay, so there was this guy and he was on a deserted island and the only person that survived was him and another beautiful woman. And I would just say something like that, like that sounds like the beginning another beautiful woman. And I would just say something like that, like that sounds like the beginning of a joke. And I would just see if I could find a way to a punchline.

I did that like on and off, like as I was driving, as I was doing other things over the weekend. Like mumbling to yourself. And I never arrived at anything. Oh God, that would've ruined my weekend. But then I was like, you need to go short. You need to go short. Yeah.

And then I was like. And need to go short. You need to go short. Yeah. And then I was like- And you need to say it short. I was like, what about, what about, what about- Why did the chicken cross the road? And I said, yeah, what's the take on that? I was like, why did my ex-wife cross the road? And the first- Why?

And so I'll give you the, this was my dirty one. And so I was like, why did my ex-wife cross the road? Why? To get to my neighbor's dick. So that was the first one, right? And so- That's not nearly as good. And I was like, ah, that's not good. You know, it's, you know, that's not it.

And then when I came- Not even close. Oh yeah, I mean, that's why I didn't use it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. not it. And then when I came up- Not even close. Oh yeah, I mean, that's why I didn't use it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying that as I'm running through, I knew that wasn't it. I'm not slamming you, I'm agreeing with you. So, and then, and I don't know, I don't know how I came up with it,

but I'm not saying that it's great. I'm just saying that I was relieved when I came up with it because I was like, this crowd will appreciate that and I'll at least walk out of here. Now, if I had known that they were just gonna tell jokes that they knew, I would have gotten even a better joke. But I didn't make it to the final three. Randy did make it to the final three.

I'm trying to remember who else did. Fitzsimmons made it. Honestly, I don't really care at this point. But you didn't make it. That's all I care about. The guy who won, because what they did is they did a joke off and they kept going.

Oh. It was an older guy. You weren't prepared for that. Oh, no, no, no. So if you would have moved on, it was a new joke. You didn't tell the same joke because that doesn't really work. My next joke was one that a friend,

that Daniel Strange had told me. Okay. Which was not, I friend, that Daniel Strange had told me. Okay. Which was not, I mean, he was just like, what time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Oh, this is an accent joke. Tinnish. Which is cute, cute dad joke. There were people doing that kind of joke,

that people, I guess people who are like me. I mean, I kind of think you could have said, I don't care, I don't keep up with that fucking bitch. Would have worked, again. That's what you would have done. That's what I would have done if I had made it. And then if you would have kept making it, same punchline every time.

I could have been your joke caddy. I think you can do it once, I don't think you can do it a third time. That would have been funny, dude. The, the, like, they were so dirty. They were shockingly dirty. Oh no. You know, I'm not gonna repeat it.

But there was no doubt in my mind when a couple of them were delivered, that was like, I'm not, I'm not. And I was, I was very, I was like, be in the middle of the pack. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Don't get to the finals because then you'll really expose yourself.

You know? And that ain't funny. Right, so. Yeah, so that's why, you know, it was a growth experiment, growth experience. Is that what I'm looking for? How did you golf? You know, okay. Moments of brilliance, moments of embarrassment.

Don't give me a break. Typical game of golf. We did not win. See my MO was both at the same time. That's not how I operate. I know. I have true moments of brilliance. Oh gosh, shut up.

Where you're just like, oh my gosh, that guy. I have true moments of brilliance. Is that guy, was he a college golfer? I'm saying on the golf course. I went to watch, you know, I went to the premiere of Slumberland. You'll see this on Netflix. It's a movie with Jason Momoa,

but the star of the movie is Marlo Barkley. And we, me, Christy and Lando went to the premiere. We went to that entertainment event for her and her family because we are very close friends. Lando and Marlo grew up together. I think Marlo's still 12. I think her and Lando are about the same age. She's not 13 yet.

Marlo is a freaking star of this movie. And Jason Momoa is like her supporting character, basically. So I went to that for her, but I was absolutely relieved to find out that I stayed for me. You know, you go to things to support your friends and when it's a work of art, like a movie, it's like, oh crap, what am I gonna say afterward if it sucks?

It was so good. So I know it's not my rec this week, but you just made me think of it. It paid off to do entertainment for somebody else. Check out Slumberland. If you have kids in that age range, they will love it. It feels like the type of story

that you think should have been done before, but at the same time, it's like a, I don't think it has, and it's like, it deals with dreams, and it's like wholly original, very- It's like that Fred Savage movie. Very fun. Also a tearjerker. Where he goes underneath his house or something?

And I was so proud of Marlo. She is so good in it. You remember we- Check out Slumberland. We wanted her to be, when she was just getting started with her acting, we wanted her to be the little girl in the episode of Buddy System

where the little girl comes to the door selling candy. The candy bar salesman. And then it goes into this old frontier story. There was a conflict of her. That's right. She was committed to something else or whatever, so we couldn't do it. We could have derailed her whole acting career

if she had done that buddy system thing. She probably made the right choice. Summer is like a cocktail. It has to be mixed just right. Start with a handful of great friends. Now, add your favorite music. And then, finally, add Bacardi rum. Shake it together.

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It's trade dress and the bad device are trademarks of Bacardi and Company Limited. Rum 40% alcohol by volume. Let's get into these voicemails. I mean, it's about time to settle some disputes. I'm just gonna start right here at the top. Hey Rhett and Link, I'm feuding with my mom because she has eaten half of my freezer. All 20 breakfast sandwiches I just bought from Costco. Don't know what to do.

Please help. Oh, dang, I'm sorry. I feel like I need more details. Like, was this in one sitting? I know, that's a lot of breakfast sandwiches. Was this over the course of 72 hours? If she was that hungry, let her have it. Because if you've got a 20 sandwich package from Costco,

I would think that most people are anticipating that lasting at least a month. You know, unless you're, I mean, even if you're the kind of person who's eating it every single morning, I would think that most people are anticipating that lasting at least a month. Unless you're, I mean, even if you're the kind of person who's eating it every single morning, you're making it 20 days. Yeah, that's three weeks. Yeah. We have breakfast sandwiches in our freezer. I do not eat them because I don't think

they can actually be good for you. And I eat a smoothie every morning. But who eats the breakfast sandwiches? My kids eat them. Christy doesn't eat them either. So we haven't experienced this issue. You mean like a Jimmy Dean? Yeah.

Yeah, that's what Shepard's into. I have a reputation of being one to just unapologetically take people's stuff after taking Tim's salsa from the fridge for that GMM episode. Yeah, that wasn't a good look for me. And every time I see Tim now, I still feel bad about it. But it sounds like her mom is unapologetic

or unconversant about it because she's thinking she's the one that needs to do something about it. I think, isn't it as simple as a question? Mom, do you know that these, Mom, what do you, I don't know, I'm trying to think of like a non-accusatory question. That's because maybe there's- You like those breakfast sandwiches

I bought for myself, don't you, Mom? What do you think of those? Do you know that those- I'm having to- In my mind, those are my breakfast sandwiches, Mom. Well, I don't- Whose are they in your mind? I don't think that that's necessarily, I don't think that she is saying that her mom can't eat any of her breakfast sandwiches.

She's saying that her mom ate all of her breakfast sandwiches. Yeah. I don't know if she was on vacation. I don't know if her mom had a breakfast party. I don't know the context, but I am assuming- Mom should be replacing these breakfast sandwiches. That she just ate way too many in too short of a period of a time.

And she obviously had bought them not primarily or not exclusively, but primarily for herself, right? I mean, I'm assuming that there's some sort of shared budget, you're sharing a house. You know, it's not like, this isn't necessarily a roommate situation where there's separate bank accounts. This is my stuff.

I have my name on it. Mom does have some sort of a trump card to play here, I believe, probably. She could be cashing in. From a budget perspective. She could be cashing in on a parent tax. Maybe if I knew that, if I knew that earlier in life, she wasn't the kind of mom who would reach over

and eat some of her kids' food in the way that I have done throughout my life, then maybe she's just making up for it all in like a week, one crazy binge. Like I said, I'm not one to talk here, but at my house, Lando will Post-it note stuff in the fridge and I know Tim did that with the salsa. It was extenuating circumstances.

Do I need to apologize again, Tim? Well, hold on, but do you do this to Lando? Do you eat Lando's? No. Well, give me an example of something that Lando would post to note. Some special mochis in the freezer. Some special chocolate milks in the fridge.

Leftovers, that's where I get him because he'll label the leftover, but I know he's not gonna go back and eat it. And so I feel like I'm doing a service to just like glean the fridge from stuff that is gonna be thrown away if it's not eaten today. Well, at least you can get him to label it. Like I can't get my kid, my kid won't eat leftovers, man.

I eat all the leftovers. Like, that's the first place I go at night is like, what's left over. Oh, really? Yeah, it just feels. I think that she should, I think you gotta try labeling. That's my thing. Just start there. Yes, it's a little passive aggressive.

Rebuy the sandwiches yourself. Then you're in a position of power and you label it. Or have a conversation with your mom if you're still on speaking terms. Yeah, I think this is just, there's an easy solve here, which is a conversation and saying, hey, if you really like these breakfast sandwiches, which apparently you do and I do as well,

maybe we get the 40-pack next time. Right. You know? There's a compromise on the horizon. Yeah. Hi, Rhett and Link. My name is Robert. I'm calling from BC in Canada.

My wife and I have a constant argument about what is ground and what is floor. have a constant argument about what is ground and what is floor. I like to call the outside where anything is paved or has cement on it, anything like that, the ground or the floor. She says that it's still the ground. My argument is that it is called the floor because anything that is not dirt can't be considered the ground because it is made by people. So I think it's called the floor. She thinks it's considered the ground because it is made by people. So I think it's called the floor. She thinks it's called the ground because it's outside.

So that's our argument that we constantly have, and it has created some really funny moments in our marriage. And I'd like you guys to settle it for us. All right. Have a good day. Bye. He said he'd like for us to settle it for him. It seems pretty simple. Robert, you're wrong.

The floor is inside, the ground is outside. It's not about being manmade or not, unless it's something that's like... I have an exception. Am I wrong? I have an exception that I think is. There's exceptions to that, but I think that's the starting point. I also think that Robert is somewhat wrong.

Maybe you're right in some instances. But it's not, the distinction is not inside and outside. If it's inside, it is floor, and if it's dirt outside, it is ground. Like those extremes. Nope. You're not letting me get my thought out. That's what I think. And then somewhere in the middle, we can hash it out.

It has nothing to do with being inside and outside. It has to do with whether or not there is a canopy or a roof. That's why we call it the forest floor. We don't call it the forest ground. And that is because there is a canopy of trees and like on the forest floor, but you don't say on the floor of the meadow

or the floor of the valley, because that's open. So it has to do not with being outside, but with being open. So a patio does not have a floor unless it is a screened-in porch. Now we're in a situation where you can say that's the floor of the porch. It's all about whether or not there is something over the top of you, and it doesn't have to be human-made.

It's just, is there a clear shot to the sky? And if so, whatever is underneath you is not floor, but ground. Well, that's nice, Brett. That is a nice analysis. But patio is neither floor nor ground. It is patio. I agree with that.

So if there's no canopy over your patio and it's still like a cement, just like a cement slab, you can't call it ground because it's, now I'm about to agree with him, because it's manmade, but you can't call it floor because to your point, there's no canopy. But if you were on a patio that was covered- A floor has to have a canopy.

I agree with that. Yeah. But a forest floor is also ground. There's common ground with the forest in that it is both. And I think the canopy- And a patio is neither. I think the canopy- Because it's just a patio. It's a patio, like you look down and it's like, what is that?

Is that the patio floor? Is that the is that? Is that the patio floor? Is that the patio ground? Is it the patio floor? Well, but by nature- I'm all over the place. By nature, a patio does not have a canopy. Oh. Oh, yeah, you're right. A porch. The difference between a porch and a patio-

Is the canopy. Is the canopy. Oh, yeah, you're right. And if you're talking about the retractable canopy. I have one of those. That doesn't count. That doesn't make it a floor. It's not like, oh, it's a floor when it's out, and it's not, no, no, no.

I'm talking about, there's gotta be some supports. This thing's gotta be able to stand up in the wind because you need to be able to call it a ceiling. So if I'm on a porch somewhere, and I look up, like I was talking to your dad at Mythicon about the ceilings of porches. Yeah. That are painted blue.

And my understanding based on all these conversations that I had with people in the South was that they're painted blue because of like bugs, which I never believed, but that was what people told me. They're like, flies don't like the light blue. And your dad was like, it's like the sky. Yeah. It's like looking like the sky.

And he says, they also do mint green, like mint green or baby blue. Those are the two colors. But that's the ceiling of the porch is what you would call that. If I was talking to a painter, he would say, what color do you want me to paint the ceiling of the porch? Wouldn't he?

Or would he say, do you want me to paint the underside of the awning? I think he would say ceiling. The porch ceiling. And then what color do you want me to paint the floor? What color do you want me to- Of the porch. The floor of the porch. To stain the patio floor, the porch floor. But he went, the patio is different.

Patio floor, I'm just trying it out. Patio, I think of it as like just a square, either a concrete or wood or brick or something that you might have an umbrella on. Now my backyard is pavers, like individual stones that are laid. You can call it a deck because there is a pool there, but there's parts of it,

even the part with the retractable awning. Not a floor. I'm trying to think what I've called that. Like I need to blow off the back. That's what I just say, I call it the back. The back. I don't call it, it's not ground and it's not floor. It's pavers.

Yeah, but what do you call that area? The back. You might call that a patio. I'm glad we could settle this. So I think that we found a third alternative here that I don't know if it was illuminating at all, but I think that Robert's distinction is wrong. If there's a permanent canopy,

then underneath it is a floor. And if it's naturally occurring, uncanopied surface, outdoors, that's ground. And if you've got an- So at least take those things off the table. And if you've got an old school house, there's plenty of houses that have dirt floors, and that is also the ground,

but it also happens to be the floor of the home, but it's a dirt floor. Yep. So floor and ground can be the same thing if your floor is ground. There you go. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Please explain to my husband that watching your own kid is not babysitting.

Thank you. Oh, this is heated. I love the fact that you could hear children just making a racket in the background of the voicemail. Yeah, yeah. Like this is the world from which this lovely woman is exasperatedly leaving us a voicemail.

Yeah. You ever been guilty of this? I'm sure. I mean, I'm sure. Using the term babysit to take care of your own kids? I don't know if I've ever done that. Even if you don't use the term, there's definitely playing this card of like,

well, I watched them. You know, I don't go so far as to say I'm babysitting the kids like it's a paid occupation. But if you watch them, you're implying that there's other times you didn't watch them. I'm gonna watch the kids so you can do something. As opposed to the other times when you don't watch them. Which is usually.

And our kids are of an age that, you know, they don't need to be watched anymore. But like when our kids were watching age, I would always like use it as like a, some sort of a merit badge. That never worked and I agree, it wasn't valid. You know, because I mean, Christy and Jesse, they were homeschool teachers, you know,

as well as moms, like they were, so much, you know, as well as moms. Like they were, so much of their time was like tending to these children. Good gosh. By their own choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't- Just to be clear, I kept telling Jesse year after year,

you wanna stop doing that? Stop watching these kids. You need to stop being a babysitter. But yeah, it's like when you step in, it would be like something exceptional. Yeah, that's a card you can't play, my man. Yeah, your wife's right. Just stop using that term when you watch the kids.

You cannot do that. We have a serious category. You wanna get into like a serious one? And then come back to a less serious one yeah because we might need a little a little relief you know um let's let's start here hey retin links me and my girlfriend recently have been butting heads a little bit she's been working a lot and i'm very proud of all the work that she's been doing and all the money she's been saving she's trying to move out right now so i understand why she's been doing and all the money she's been saving. She's trying to move out right now.

So I understand why she's been in her grind set, in her girl boss money moves era. But sometimes I just want her to acknowledge the fact that I am also still here and that I am a part of her life and someone that would like to spend time with her. I have a difficult dilemma on my hands, though, because it's an interesting dichotomy. This feeling of being so proud of her for working so hard, but at the same time wishing that she would at least admit a little bit that there is a strain on our relationship because of how much she works. I'm not exactly sure what to do, and I would love

your guys' feedback. Help me out. Help out this struggling mythical beast. Anyway, appreciate you guys. I love all you do. Keep on keeping on. I really do appreciate all your content and all your happiness that you give to the world. Have a good one. Well, as that question was being asked, Jenna. Couldn't stay in her seat. I mean, she was, you know, so I kind of feel like we should let the woman in the room.

Jenna, we'd love for you to kick this one off. To give us an initial reaction to this question. It sounds like he has not had this conversation with his partner. And that is a conversation that he needs to have with her. And his tone was a little, I don't think he meant anything by it I think his tone came across a little iffy but it's clear it's it's a hard thing to do because because what do you say when in that situation? I don't know. It's just one of those where it's like if the roles were reversed,

it would be a conversation you want to have with your partner. Like if the man was working too much and the woman or whichever, however the partnership is. Either way, he sounds real sad. Um, either way, he's, he's feeling, he sounds real sad. And I think it's, he's got to have that like set, plan a date night, just the two of them, get out of their normal stuff and have a conversation. And another thing I think that you all can advise on is one thing about your relationships, I think it's really cool that you do, is you have a set day where you spend

time with your wives. You have planned time with them. That is part of your schedule. And it seems like with his girlfriend's new schedule getting so crazy and how amazing that is for her, that maybe they need to discuss scheduled quality time. Well, it's interesting because I feel like in some senses, there's a, I can relate to this right now, right? You know, over the past couple of years, Jessie has really started doing, she really kind of started leaning into her interior design stuff.

And then really in the past, like two years especially, and then this year, you know, she's taken on a number of clients. She just got through the really big project. And the way that her time was structured, which was very unusual for me, was getting home and she's working. She's working when I get home.

And she's working into like, we don't, we're not, like at least when it got to crunch time, we're not watching TV together. Now, when you've been married to somebody for 21 years, in one sense it's like, oh, well, Jessie's busy right now. I'm gonna go watch something that she would never watch with me. It's like, you know what I'm saying?

It's an opportunity. Yeah, it's like, because I've spent a lot of time with her and I'm gonna continue to spend a lot of time with her and this is sort of extenuating circumstances. Yeah, that is a good corollary point that like the cumulative time that you spend. But I don't think that is applicable to this particular situation.

I'm just assuming because it sounds like, you know, we're kind of still building the relationship in a lot of ways. I'm not building the relationship anymore, but you know what I mean. But there's also this thing where it's like, in the context of my relationship with Jessie, is that so much of what her life has been about

and what her activities have revolved around and where she lives revolves around is me and my work, right? Yeah. Which tends to be a more traditional, it's given the history of the world and the patriarchy, like that tends to be the situation. It's like, well, the man's gonna do this

and I've gotta support him in doing this. And that was our story for a really long time. Now, as the kids have gotten older and Jessie has a lot of aspirations and dreams and things that she wants to do, quote unquote, her, I don't know, I'm gonna choose to say that he was doing this in a loving way, her girl boss money-making moves.

Right. I will say those terms are kind of not used anymore by women. Yeah, right. So there's other things. But it's been an interesting thing for me to be someone who I feel like I've gotten, she's done so much for me. She's done so much for me,

which I don't know the history of their relationship, but for me, there's this like, oh, I can go and be a part of this thing that's all about Jessie and I kind of fade into the background and kind of can support her. But as it relates to like our time together, even our date night has gotten canceled for the past six weeks because she's been so busy.

But that project is over. We'll do the date night this week. We're kind of getting back, as long as we kind of return to the normal of actually spending quality time with each other. And I think that what Jenna was saying at the beginning about, you know, these are the bread and butter conversations of a relationship.

It's like, when it comes to stuff like this, this is where the magic happens, honestly, if you can really connect about not being able to connect. I think there's a way in is not, it's not corrective. Like don't take a corrective approach. Maybe think about having more of a, still supportive and celebratory.

And it's like, I'm celebrating what you're doing. I'm supporting what you're doing, but it's creating a challenge that kind of frames it. But then your motive, like where you're coming from is love and wanting to connect and missing a level of intimacy. And I think that, you know, if you approach it from that angle, as long as that's truthful,

that's gonna go a long way, right? You know, to say, hey, let's put, can we put some on the calendar? Can we put a plan in place where I don't feel threatened by what you're going after, but I can be your biggest fan and champion, but still have my needs met by you? Because it is a reality that if the time

that you would otherwise spend together is spent apart because of work, you have to manage that reality in your relationship. Some people, too busy professionals who work late and are like, we see each other on weekends. And that's- An agreement. We've agreed to that, we've communicated that, our expectations are in line.

Yeah. It's all about, obviously the expectations are not aligned right now. And you have to figure out, can they be aligned? And if they can't, then that's a different conversation. Yeah, leave us another voicemail if that doesn't work. We'll put Jenna back on it. Yes! Yeah, leave us another voicemail if that doesn't work.

We'll put Jenna back on it. Yes! Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together.

That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Here's another one. Let's stay serious. Hey, guys, this is Mike from Michigan. So, I've been in a beef with my sister for, oh, 14 years now. And, well, let's just say she's not exactly all the way there in the head.

And she got in a fist fight with my dad, of all who was extremely old at the time and I was never able to forgive her for it and I don't know how to forgive her for it and now my niece and nephew want to get involved with me her kids and my niece is my goddaughter and I don't know how to bring them back into my life without bringing her into my life. I know it's horrible to take your sister out of your life and your way, but it's just kind of something I don't want to be involved in my life anymore, but I really want my niece and nephew involved in my life, if that makes any sense. Sorry, a little nervous. But if you guys can maybe approach this in a way for me where I can get them back into my life and somehow make it work with my sister too, I don't know if that's possible, but thanks guys. Wow. Mike, thanks for

sharing your story. Our hearts go out to you. I know when you said in like 14 years, like our hearts just kind of dropped, you know, it's, you know, that's sad. It seems like it's sad for everybody involved and it's kind of intimidating to speak into your situation knowing only what you just shared in the voicemail. Again, I thank you for sharing it. But I just want to acknowledge that, like, we're definitely out of our depth here.

So I think that the first thing I want to do is just say, you know, from a heart level, just that, like, we feel for you. And, you know, I've had estranged long-term relationships and it doesn't feel good because it's not, you know, it's not the natural order of things. You see so many, you imagine those relationships where everything's working out and you see people having relationships with, in this case, their siblings, and it's what you don't have. And I just know how difficult that could be.

I also know that there's situations, and again, we don't know enough about your situation to like be prescriptive, but in general, there is a reality where it's the right decision, it's the best decision to put boundaries in place. And sometimes, and that's along a whole spectrum. Sometimes that means that there isn't any contact and that may be, that's the best choice for some people in some situations, you know, and there's this whole range. And when you've got, um, nieces and nephews

involved, um, that, that a lot of times I, I have to think makes it hurt that, that much more. Yeah. I think, I mean, I completely agree that we're not, you know, we can't give you I have to think makes it hurt that much more. Yeah, I think, I mean, I completely agree that we're not, you know, we can't give you specific advice, but there are principles that are true that are true in your situation as well. Like Link said to me, I think it's almost overused at this point, the term boundaries, it's used as much as people labeling other people narcissists.

It's like, it's the thing that we all do on social media, but there's a lot of truth in it. And I think that it's okay to set a boundary that is painful to implement because sometimes the pain that you and someone else would experience with that boundary did not exist is even greater. But both are painful. Like the boundary being in place

and the boundary not being in place are both painful experiences. So sometimes there is not a great solution. And I don't know, I mean, I think that conceivably, depending on your circumstances and like what the proximity is, are you in the same town? How old are the niece and nephew? Like, is this the kind of thing

that if there was any kind of contact, it would lead to, like, what were the problems? What were the nature of the problems? You kind of have to think about it like that to think, what are the boundaries that I could set? I don't know, maybe there is a boundary that you can set where it's like, my contact with my sister is gonna be in relation to logistical things regarding my time

with her kids. I'm not saying that's what you should do, but I'm saying that- Right, but there may be a creative solution somewhere in the middle and when- It's like gerrymandering a new district. You have to navigate your specific situation, but draw the boundary and communicate the boundary. So it's like, when I don't talk to you about this,

it's because I'm setting this boundary. If you're not okay with that, then I'm not gonna have the boundary here at all. The boundary is gonna be extended and I'm gonna have to push everybody out. And sometimes they can move. So it's not like you're making one decision and then that's it.

And it, so I guess the first thing we're saying and you don't have to make an all or nothing decision. There's like this whole spectrum along the way that you could make these, even if it's a convoluted type of gerrymandered boundary, but then, you know, two days later, or two months later, you might discover that that needs to move. Maybe it needs to tighten up, or it could loosen up. I mean, you know, there's, you know,

if forgiveness is at play, that, you know, if forgiveness is at play, that, you know, it's always something worth considering, but it's, you know, I think we're just left to leave that. It also depends on your personal tolerance, right? Right. There are some people who might be in a situation where any contact with a person would be too triggering for them where they just can't do it. And there might be situations a situation where any contact with a person would be too triggering for them

where they just can't do it. And there might be situations where it's like, this person is difficult, annoying, whatever, an inconvenience, but I'm not unsafe and I'm not gonna be, you know, my mental health won't be compromised. Only you know that in a given situation. What your personal level of tolerance is.

There are people that you can choose to have in your life so long as you know the reality of what it means. Right. And you admit that reality to yourself. Like finding a trusted resource, which could be a therapist, I think is a great avenue to pursue for something like this, a sounding board that you may have to pay for, you know, if you don't have someone in your life. Jenna?

Yeah, I will say I do have something comparable to that in my history with certain family. comparable to that in my history with certain family uh my my speaking to especially that you mentioned she's not right in the head so perhaps there's some mental health issues going on uh my father the last five seven years of his life dipped heavily into alcoholism and it ultimately heavily into alcoholism and it ultimately caused him to die uh from chronic alcoholism and it was one of those situations where it's similar to mental health issues it's a hard place to be in because you know that person isn't their mental health issue like that isn't who they are in their entirety like you see glimmers of who they could be and who that isn't who they are in their entirety. Like you see glimmers of who they could be and who they were before, who they are when they're on the right medication, when they're not, you know, drinking kind of scenarios. And there were boundaries that we

had to set up. And some of my family members had much stronger boundaries than I necessarily did. But I also had a couple boundaries as well. And it was, I mean, it's gut-wrenching when those boundaries are broken. But they're the boundaries that you have to set to protect everyone else. And some things that we would do was um dad could come to public events and support us but he couldn't he couldn't be drinking and if he had been drinking we would steal his car keys like a whole scenario so like if you want to test the waters of of being able to see your nieces and nephews because that must be devastating that you're not able to be a part

of their lives and like a positive role model to them as well um i would suggest something a bit more public like uh like if they have you know if they have extracurriculars that way you don't have to sit next to your sister but you could still be there supporting your niece and nephew just like really low-touch things and like forgiveness changes like 14 years is a very long time to carry that and I feel for that and I have known people who have been in really awful abusive situations with parents or with other siblings that as they have all aged the boundaries have opened up again like the lines of communication have opened up again very slowly so but i highly recommend yes certainly speaking to a health care professional like a therapist on the best path best path forward yeah, I 100% feel this situation

and there's no easy way to do it. Yeah, exactly. Every path forward is difficult. Thanks, Jenna, for sharing that. Yeah. Well, we went serious. Maybe, all right, so we talked about going back. Let's mix it up a little bit.

All right, so now we're gonna take a hard left turn. So we talked about going back. Let's mix it up a little bit. All right. So now we're going to take a hard left turn. Hi, Rhett and Link. Longtime fan of Ear Biscuits and Good Mythical Morning. So I have a dispute that my partner and I have had.

When you are sitting down on the commode and you go to clean up the area, do you do it from the front or back? Let me know, love you guys. Well this is easy. You're supposed to go front to back. Well that wasn't what was asked. It was do you go down from the front or do you go from the back? Oh. Wipe direction is, yeah, obviously,

that's front to back. Everybody knows that, especially if you have a vagina, you don't wanna be wiping the fecal matter towards it. Come on, now. Okay, just to be very specific. You can get, you know, if you got a ball sack, you can get some shit on your ball sack. It's not the end of the world.

But I don't recommend it. This is so great. But, and again, I do think that whether or not you have- Just don't leave it there for 14 years. To tie it into the last- I think whether or not you have a penis is somewhat relative, you know- Irrelevant. Relevant.

Irrelevant. Well, no, I'm saying that like- It's too far. I mean, for me to try to go through the space that is being currently filled with manhood- I didn't even hear the question that way. I couldn't even hear the question. Did you hear the question that way? That it was like, you go in from the front of your, no.

It's just you don't do that. Yeah, but some people might think, apparently, someone in this situation, we don't know if it's the caller or the partner. Because you have to go back to front when wiping, if you're reaching through the front, then you're just, You're pushing. You're bulldozing. You're pushing. You're bulldozing. Which is very difficult.

That's not gonna work. Yeah, yeah, that's not really a wipe, that's a push. You don't wanna do that. Yeah, so I think you go around the back. Now the real question is, do you stand up or not? Uh, no. If you stand up, the cheeks come together. What are you talking about?

Well, not if you stand up and bend over. Well then, yeah, but if you stand up and then bend over, the cheeks have come together. The bidet changes everything. Just get a freaking bidet, y'all. Oh my gosh. Bidet changes everything. It's bidet and night. That's the difference.

But if I do not have access to a bidet, my final wipe is a standing wipe. So you can exit that much quicker? I just feel like I'm like, one more time just to make absolute sure. Why would you stand up for the last wipe? I don't know, it feels like a ceremonial. And you're bent over?

Ritualistic. You're like hinging? Oh yeah, you got, yeah. I mean, no one's watching. It's not a show for anybody. I'll take some video if you want. Nope, I don't want. Thanks for asking.

Okay. Hey Rhett and Link, it's Kaylin from New Jersey. I'm beefing with my mom because she thinks I'm a monster for not having the toothpaste perfectly squeezed down to the bottom every time. I kinda think you don't need to do that until you're at the very end, trying to get every little bit of it out,

but I don't know, am I a monster? You know, I appreciate the question and the love, Kaelin. You are not a monster. And I think this represents an area of growth for me, and I would like to pat myself on the back. You know, I used to think you had to squeeze from the bottom, I was in the mom's camp,

but then I realized, you know what? Who gives a crap? I mean, just squeeze it from wherever you want. But do you have to do it? Because I would have thought that Christy did it the quote unquote correct way as well. Well, Christy and I do not share toothpaste. Do you use a different brand?

Yes. Okay, is that why? But even if we didn't, we each have our own drawer with all of our stuff in it and nothing shared. So that's a key here. It's like have your own toothpaste and do whatever you want with it. Yeah, I have my own drawer with all of our stuff in it and nothing shared. So that's a key here. It's like have your own toothpaste and do whatever you want with it. Yeah, I have my own as well.

And I used to think that the right way to do it is to squeeze from the bottom because at some point that is the right way. But I agree with you, Caitlin. You can wait to the last, till you need to do it. And then you just take it and you grab the end of it and you put it on the edge of the counter and you 90 degree that thing over the counter

and use it to get all of the toothpaste to the end and get the last little bits out. Have you noticed? But you don't have to do it every time. The reason why it's a personal growth for me is because I can look at that quote unquote imperfect tube of toothpaste that's just been like squeezed like a monster in the middle

and say, you know what? I can live with this unsettling reality. It's totally fine. It's totally fine. And then- It's exposure therapy. Then later, I'll squeeze it all down there. I'll make sure it's all out.

So Caitlin, your mom is a monster, and I used to be that monster. Well, get your own toothpaste. Have you noticed that toothpaste tube technology has largely, for many brands, made this argument irrelevant? Have you noticed this trend? That they... Every single toothpaste that I've bought in the past five years, at least the brands that I frequent.

You know, I'm not talking, it's not 1985 toothpaste where it's just like- It's not like a foil container? It's a toothpaste tube that every time you squeeze it, it returns to its original shape. That's what- Every single time. Like the Quip toothpaste tube is like that. Yeah, and so, and then I have this-

I started using the, after they told me something about my enamel, I started using like the Pronamel, like enamel one, it does the same thing. And then I just got one, because the last time I went to the toothpaste, to the toothpaste person, to the dentist, they were like, you know,

we're gonna have to do a cleaning every four months because you get buildup so fast. And so now I'm going, I switched to one that attacks buildup. And it's the same thing. And it's just like, you just take it, grasp it, squeeze it, and it takes care of itself. I think the toothpaste people are trying

to make this dispute irrelevant. They're trying to take this out of the conversation. But it necessitates doing what I say, which is at a certain point- At the end. You can't tell how empty it is, but you gotta do that. You gotta do the pumps technique,

the fold and squeeze. Well, no, I don't do the fold and squeeze. I don't do the roll up. I do the hang it over the edge of the counter. It's actually a fun little thing to do. I've seen your video if you want. Okay. I'll be naked.

I think the fold and squeeze accomplishes the same thing, at least in the tubes that I've currently got. It does, it does. So I think that the world is becoming a better place through technology. It's a lot more time to do the fold and squeeze and it's not worth it. You're taking it out and putting it on the counter?

That seems like a, I'm literally- It's an easy motion, squeeze. I'm picking up, fold it and squeezing it, boom, it's done. And then when it gets down to like the last ounce, like if I can get two more brushes out of this- When you fold it and squeeze though, some of it is being sent the wrong direction. Those last two brushes,

I'm not even interested in that toothpaste. Call me wasteful all you want to. I'm not working hard for brushing my teeth. Oh, I'm not working that hard for the last two days. I do, it's a personal victory. If you need a personal victory in your life, get the last of the toothpaste out. Why don't you get some scissors and cut it open?

Ever thought of that? I've done that. Really? Yeah, yeah. It's a personal victory. If the scissors are already there, like I'm not gonna go find a- You've cut into a toothpaste tube?

Yeah. Now that's a different type of person right there. I mean, it's different for me. Personal victories, personal victories. Okay. I feel like the personal victory for us today is that we covered a lot of ground, we covered a lot of emotions,

and now we just need another recommendation to go with my slumberland. I am going to recommend a creator, a content creator, whose TikTok and YouTube channel I quite enjoy. Okay. His name is Forrest Valkai. I think I'm saying the His name is Forrest Valkai. I think I'm saying the last name. Forrest with two Rs.

You are saying the name, but are you saying it correctly? I think I'm saying it correctly. Spell it all. Forrest with two Rs and then V-A-L-K-A-I. Okay. Valkai. And he talks on YouTube and TikTok about, on TikTok he is Renegade Science Teacher. But he just talks a lot about

things that I'm interested in about fossils and evolution. He just started a new series where he's going into real depth about evolution. He's a good guy. He's a nice guy. He's not

He's a good boy. trying to make fun of people and, or to say that people are dumb or whatever. That's not his point, his point is just like, this is what we know about this stuff and it's pretty awesome. Forrest Falki. All right, we'll speak at you next week. As always, use hashtag Ear Biscuits

to continue the conversation in written form. And if you want to respond to anything we said today or in any episode or to any of the prompts that we put out on Twitter, you can call us at 1-88-EAR-POD-1. Did I lose you? Yeah, you did. I'm back though. Bye. Hi, I'm currently speaking with my best friend. I don't know if we're technically ex-best friends right now, but she accepted a job offer that was sent out to me. We were both offered the job, and we talked about it. She said she did not want the job, that it was not her career field,

it's not what she wanted to do in the future. And I really, really wanted the job. And then they extended the offer to both of us. And she took it. And when she took it, they decided to no longer give it to me. And needless to say, I didn't take it well. I think I overreacted a little bit. But yeah, I think I'm past it it now I have a new job and everything's fine but I still have a little bit of like resentment with it thank you guys love you hey Rhett and Link Teresa Ann here I'm calling in reference to the fact that I am beefing with my sister once again just because she has a child does she get the right to be the sole host of every holiday?

Thanks. Love you guys. Keep up the great work. Hey, Rhett and Link. This is Liddy from Houston, Texas. I just wanted to call in and try to get some advice for a beef I currently have with my husband. I am wanting to put our Christmas tree up already. I'm very excited about the holiday season.

I love how the Christmas tree just lights up the room and'm very excited about the holiday season. I love how the Christmas tree just lights up the room and all the cheer and joy it brings to the house. But of course, he does not want me to put it up until after Thanksgiving. Man, I really want to put that Christmas tree up. Thank you so much. Love y'all. Bye.