Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - We Ruin a Fan's Wedding | Ear Biscuits Ep. 445

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

Warning: there will be vomiting sounds. In this episode, Rhett & Link are giving ammo on how to stop a repeat interrupter and getting revenge on those who ruined a wedding. Possums may or may not be involved. Go to https://www.quince.com/ear to get free shipping and 365-day returns. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller time. Learn more at MillerLite.ca. Must be legal drinking age. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes.

Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong

friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. This week at the round table of dimmed lighting, we're going to give the perfect prescription to ruin a wedding. Yep. Because you need to have that in your back pocket. We are so here to help.

And I'm really loving the voicemails that you're leaving us. Boy, get a load of what we got today. And if you wanna pile onto the load, we want you to do that. 1-888-earpod-1! You feeling good? You wanna get into it? You got something else you need to tell me? I've had nothing significant happen in my life that you probably don't already know about. I mean, last night, we-hmm. We went to an event. Yep. Shout out to Michelle Carre and her...

Yes. I mean, she released a feature length episode of Challenge Accepted. 90-day black belt. She's got a freakin'... I mean, she... Well, hey, no spoilers. She went through the process of getting a black belt in 90 days and it ain't easy to get a black belt is what I learned.

I already knew this about Michelle Carrey. I already knew that she was a badass. Good God. Because she does a lot of badass things. She's like the nicest person. You watch this thing and you're just like, I would not want. She's the nicest, badass person. I would not want her

to be my adversary. No, no, no, no, no. I would not want her to be my adversary. No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't want her to be coming after me. She'd kill you with kindness and a roundhouse kick. Yes. She may be one of the most rounded, well-rounded people I've ever met. Do you think?

Well-round is not the word, like, just good at too many things. You think she's hiding something? Oh yeah. She's too good at too many things. I mean I met her husband too, they both seem great. They seem great. I don't know, I don't know.

I left with a lower self-esteem. Is that what her show's supposed to do? No, I was actually very inspired, I mean not to get into Tae Kwon Do, No, I was actually very inspired, I mean, not to get into TaeKwonDo, but to think it's cool. I was inspired to think it's really cool. I literally, and I don't wanna reveal

exactly what notes I took, but I literally, before I went to bed, journaled about my experience, about something I learned from... Well, why can't you tell me? Just because it's personal. And I don't really wanna get it. I mean, it's uninteresting.

It's not worth talking about. But I'm just saying, I was impacted. I was impacted. So you were impacted in a completely uninteresting way. But the, no, it's just not anything revolutionary. Taekwondo is an art form. Yep. Let's just say that.

What I will say, besides the screening, which was great, and I love when our peers in the... Why are you looking at me like that for? I don't know. Because my face... Here's the thing. You're getting older, and you might need to review some footage of yourself. You gotta be careful you don't make old man faces too often, like that's such a...

I know that I was making an old man face. I mean it was such an old man face. It's early. It wasn't just an old man face, it was like an old man... Let me see....in the early stages of dementia. Mirror it to me. I can't even, my face is incapable of the faces that you make. I'm sorry.

I can't make many old men faces. I was just, I was raising my eyebrows. You just can't look at people like that. I was raising my eyebrows. Unless you want them to take sympathy on you and feel like they need to give you something. I need you to, well I guess I can look, I mean this is what I.

I don't know even how to respond to it. It's just like, does he need help? This? Yeah, I'm like, it looks like a baby pushing out a fart? Or an old man pushing out a fart? I wasn't pushing at all. Okay. Damn.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to be, I really don't know, I just think that I haven't used my face enough today, so I'm gonna raise the eyebrows. Haven't used my face. Okay, well we'll give you that opportunity now. my face enough today, so I'm gonna raise the eyebrows. I haven't used my face. Yeah. Okay, well we'll give you that opportunity now. I was trying to start using my face. So I was stretching it.

What I was gonna say. Open the eyebrows. Open the eyes. What I was gonna say is, I don't know, I'm really encouraged by what's happening in our greater YouTube community. You've got Michelle, she's been making TV quality stuff for a long time, and we've been at some of these events with her where we're all trying to talk

to industry people and ad agency people about the fact that television quality stuff is being made by these digital studios, like Mythical and like Challenge Accepted. And then I wake up this morning and I'm just kind of late to the news on this. My wife actually told me about it. She was like, did you see what Markiplier did? And I know that he's been working on a feature

that's based on that video game. And I know that he's been working on a feature that's based on that video game. But he's also been working on, his Edge of Sleep Q-Code audio podcast. He's been making that into a TV show. Oh, really? And I don't know the details. I just know that it's on Amazon Prime

and it actually came out before the day that they said it was gonna come out and he was trying to explain to them that like, listen, if you put this on the platform, my fans will find it and I'll have to talk about it versus waiting until the, you know, people in executives just don't know how the internet works.

Yeah. And so as of this morning, him talking about it had gotten it into the top 10 shows on Amazon. Wow. I haven't watched it, I watched the trailer on his channel and it looks awesome. But anyway, I'm just excited about- Good for all of us.

What the community is doing, people independently just making great stuff and it's encouraging. Yep, and you don't have to be a black belt, thank God. You don't. I ain't gonna be breaking no boards with my hand. Before we listen to our first voicemail, just want to remind you that we did Good Mythical Evening and if you missed it, you can still watch it,

video on demand, goodmythicalevening.com. The clock is ticking though. Yeah, it's not gonna be around for much longer. Yep. I wish I knew the exact date in which it wasn't gonna be around, but that's the mystery. Don't risk missing it.

Goodmythicalevening.com is where you can get a video on demand, all right? Yeah. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goltenders, no.

But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region.

See app for details. Hey, Ear Biscuit Listener. Etsy knows what kind of holiday gifting reactions you're looking for this year. You want squeals of delight, happy tears, and spontaneously written songs of joy, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, well, to get reactions like those,

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Shop Etsy this holiday season for personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifts that say, I get you, Etsy has it. Hit us with the voicemail. Hi, my name is Jane, I'm from Texas. I was just calling because I'm kind of having trouble

with my father-in-law. He's a wonderful man. I really love him. But every time that I am trying to say something, he, like, cuts me off mid-sentence and, like, tries to, like, guess where my sentence was going and, like, says it over me and doesn't let me finish my thought. And it feels like he's just not, like, listening to me. It feels like he's just, like, trying me. It feels like he's just like trying to come up

with the end of my sentences. And it's really aggravating because it makes me lose my train of thought. And I feel like, you know, he doesn't really care about what I have to say. So I just don't really know how to talk to him about it. You know, I just want him to let me say what I'm gonna say and not try to guess it.

Yeah. So I was just hoping y'all could help me out. Thank you, love y'all, bye. Love you too, Jane. Let me just say that I would never interrupt you. I listen to you talk all day. Now, let's get inside the mind of an interrupter. Oh, you're gesturing to me?

Help us understand. I do not do this. You don't do this. I don't do this. I do not try to finish people's sentences while they're finishing them themselves. I have run into this before though. I mean, but I am prone to be a little sympathetic.

Like, okay, believing, I wouldn't say the worst, but believing something that's not the best might include he doesn't care what I have to say. I just wanna go ahead and say, well, what about the flip side? It seems that he could be caring so much about what you have to say, and he's vibing with it so much that he just can't help

himself but try to get in complete verbal sync. So you can interpret it that way. He is very much into what I have to say, to the point where he thinks he can finish my sentences. Okay. She loves him. He seems like he's probably a good guy, except for this one thing.

So there's another phenomenon that I have observed with other people throughout my life, and it isn't exactly the same thing, but I think it speaks to what you're talking about, and that is what I think is probably a little bit more common, and that's when you're trying to tell someone a story, you're trying to give someone some personal information about something

that happened to you. Okay. And before you can finish your story, they are telling a story that's similar, that your story made them think of. Now I will say this is a very ADHD thing to do. I have a lot of ADHD people in my life, and they don't necessarily know this is what they're doing. It's just like, they're like dogs

that see a car passing by and they have to chase it, right? And so when you tell them a story, they're immediately like, well yeah, you wouldn't believe what happened to me. And you haven't really finished your story yet, and I don't think it's... It sparks something in their brain and then they just go with it. And then they maybe have not developed a discipline to know that like, oh, this seems selfish when I do this. This seems like I'm not interested in what you're saying.

But it's actually a bit of an attempt to relate to someone. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally... Let me tell you about the time I fell into a sewer. You know? They don't have to do that with their head and neck. But sometimes they do. So the charitable response to this, that you're getting at, is that this is like,

oh yeah, I know what you're about to say, you're about to tell me about the time you fell into a sewer. Yeah, tracking, I'm tracking with you. I'm tracking with you, girl. Now, it does not matter. Well, it does not matter. Well, it matters a little bit, but it doesn't really matter what someone's intentions are.

Let me just say that. Of course it matters. It matters somewhat, but the impact of the dynamic of a conversation is that... Yes, well she's lost her train of thought. Whether or not the person is being selfish and trying to take the conversation over, or the person is unintentionally taking the conversation over, the impact to the person

on the other end of the conversation is exactly the same. If you run over somebody and kill them because you were drunk, well that's a problem. If you run over and kill somebody because they ran out in front of you, well they still died. This got extreme. I'm just saying that the impact is still the same. So I do think it's something that needs to be, ultimately I'm saying it needs to be addressed because you can have the charitable response, which I think she's

already having. Jane's like, he's a nice man. I don't think he's being malicious or whatever. Yeah. But that, you either have to be like, I'm gonna deal with it. I agree that she needs to curtail it because it's having an impact on her ability to finish thoughts, much less sentences. And that ain't good, that ain't good. I'll throw a couple of things out there.

Okay. The moment that he starts, she could just, zoop, totally stop. And then just let him go with it. What would happen then? Be like, nope, that wasn't it, you know? Which brings me to my suggestion, which is I think humor is the answer.

I'm not gonna do the thing that we've done before, which is, well, you just, you know, communication is key and you need to have a conversation. Maybe just the two of you. Boring. No, humor is the key to unlocking this. To take some of the power back in a way that doesn't hurt anybody. You just need to. Can you demonstrate this?

I think that there's a funny way to, yeah, say something. Well, no, I want you to start saying something. You be Jane, I'll be the father. Okay. All right, so I have an idea for how I think that this could be solved, and I'm gonna use humor to do it, and, well, you're not even cutting me off. You're not doing anything. I'm just waiting for you.

I'm gonna let you get somewhere. Oh, you were literally giving your idea. Just tell a story about something. Oh, well yesterday I was driving through Texas. Fell into a sewer? No. That's not right. I was driving through Texas, father-in-law,

and I came upon. A sewer and you fell into it. No, I came upon, well, okay. All right, so that is two negative points for you. You have not guessed what I was doing yet. Do you wanna keep playing this game? Because you like to play the game. I'm willing to play the game if you want to. You sure it wasn't a sewer? No, it wasn't a sewer, so you're at negative two points.

Okay. Was it a pot? It was a hole of some kind. It was a tumbleweed. But you fell into the tumbleweed. It was the biggest tumbleweed I've ever seen in... You fell into it a pot? Was it a... It was a hole of some kind. It was a tumbleweed. But you fell into a tumbleweed. But it was the biggest tumbleweed I've ever seen in... You fell into it though. Lord knows I've seen a lot of tumbleweeds. Did you fall into it and you fell into it? If you wanna play the game, you need to wait until I start talking,

and then you need to start trying to predict what I'm saying. Go ahead. Which, you like to play this game a lot, so now I'm just putting... Fall into a tumbleweed. I'm just putting points on it, okay? Yeah. And then everybody else is kinda laughing uncomfortably. I don't know. So you make it a game.

Maybe, but you're kinda making fun of the fact that he does it in a way that it's not completely confrontational. And it's gentle ribbing. What I was hearing, and it may be, I like this idea, but I think it might be more difficult if the thing, I didn't pick up on the fact that she was talking about recounting something

that happened to her. I kinda thought that she was saying that she is giving her opinion about something and he's finishing her opinion, which let me just say, when a man finishes a woman's opinion, first of all, we are in a bad place. Let's not do that. All right, and men traditionally love to do that.

I think it applies to opinions or whatever. I'm just saying, if there's a way to start gently making fun of him for doing it and just pointing it out every time, if you give it a name like, oh, you're doing the predict what I say game again, all right, you gotta do better, cause that wasn't it. Maybe a slightly more caustic, if it is about opinions,

it could be like, oh no, go ahead, tell me what I think. You don't wanna get too passive aggressive. No, no, but I think when a, I think. Dale, you always like to try to finish my sentences, Dale, and I'm gonna put a point value to it. Let's call it the Dale finishes sentences game. We're just Dale complete. That's the nice version.

And then every single time he does it, you say, oh, we're playing the game again? All right, negative one point, you didn't get it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you got it that time. You don't wanna give him too many positive points, though. Because you want to, Yep. You don't wanna give him too many positive points, though. Because you want to... you wanna degrade. You don't wanna encourage. So you want it to be punitive a little bit.

I do agree. My idea is more caustic, but I do believe it would work really well if she just were like, oh, go ahead and Dale, tell me what I think. He would never do it again. Mm-hmm. Jenna, you seem to agree? I liked that one. Keep that in my pocket. But you can't start with the aggressive version.

You gotta start with it. Everybody's laughing. Even Dale's like, I knew that! I didn't even know I did that! If Jane says it in the voice that she just left that voicemail in, I think it'd be pretty damn disarming. That's all I gotta say. I think that's it. I think we helped you out. Just give him a hard time about it.

Come on. Take the power back. Good luck, Jane. Well, Dale, if you keep trying to finish my sentences, then I forget what I'm gonna say, and then what you say is usually not what I was gonna say, so... What if his name is Dale? Come on, Dale. Just... Dale, that isn't what I was gonna say, and now I can't

remember. All right, let's... And you get negative points. Let's hear the next one. Hey, Rhett and Link. You guys answer a lot of wedding related questions and you've been on a kick of ethically dubious situations lately. So here's mine. Some people who ruined my wedding are going to be getting married soon. So I want to ask the bad boys, what is the most creative way for me to return the favor? Yeah.

What? The bad boys? Yeah, we're the bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? We're the the bad boys. What you gonna do? We're the bad boys now. What you gonna do when we give you advice for you? The bad boys gonna ruin the wedding. Hold on, have we got a reputation? Yes, yes.

We got a reputation for being bad boys? We're the bad boys. All right. I wanna know what they did to ruin your wedding. Call back, come on, more information the better. I would know what they did to ruin your wedding. Call back. Come on. More information, the better. I would love more information, but I don't believe I need it. How could you ruin a wedding? Because to me, that informs how you retaliate.

The type of revenge, you know, it needs to be a little tit for tat or a little tit for tit even, you know? I mean, if Dale were here, he'd be finishing that. Tit for tit! That's right, Dale. I mean, cause how do you ruin... They didn't ruin the wedding badly enough that she's not gonna show up at their wedding, so they're still... it didn't end the relationship. So it wasn't like this, oh, we got drunk at the reception and started spewing secrets about our past. We don't know the nature of the ruining of the wedding, but it was categorized as a

ruining of the wedding. I mean, what would you think could ruin a wedding? Like, not the reception. The actual wedding is ruined? Or maybe the whole thing? I don't know. Standing up during that, speak now forever hold your peace. That'll do it. That'll do it. Okay.

That's a little too TV. They actually don't even say that. I haven't said that at any weddings that I've been to in 10 years. Is it just a movie thing? I think it's like the reading of a will in the movie, which never happens in real life. It's like sitting down and I bequeath to so and so,

like that happens in the movies, but you don't see that in real life. Yeah, don't they just email it out? Right, emails, man. Everybody gets upset in their own space. Well. But I mean, my dad always tells the story of Uncle Johnny throwing flour on his head when he and my mom

exited the... That didn't ruin it though. It almost killed him. It almost choked on him. It kind of ruined a part of it. When you almost die from choking and then you've got to get in your car covered in flour? Well, I think you're on the right track though. It was something that was...

Prankish. Oh, it could have been accidental, but it could have been somebody showing their ass, but it wasn't something that was a relationship ruiner because they are going to their wedding. So I think the, first of all, I always think the perfect revenge plan involves getting your revenge,

but not having to take responsibility for it. That's right. And maybe even eliciting some sympathy for yourself. So I have one option, okay? All right. So what you're gonna do is, and I actually was thinking reception, but I do believe this could,

you could orchestrate this for the ceremony as well. It depends on maybe if you're in the wedding. If you do it at the reception, what you're gonna do is you're gonna go to the reception and you are going to indulge like you've never indulged before. Yeah. Go to the buffet, revisit the buffet.

Oh, you're talking about food? Okay. Drinks, everything. Okay. But you need food for my plan. Oh. I'm getting scared. And then you're gonna, you're gonna have your, this is horrible by the way. Just let me just say, this is horrible.

Well, you got, it's gotta be ruined. Gotta go big. You gonna ruin their wedding. All right? But they're gonna have trouble getting mad at you unless they listen to this podcast. Which is a little bit of a meta conversation we might need to have if we're gonna keep giving

this kind of advice, but back to the point. You're gonna indulge like you've never indulged before and then what is it called? Epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, syrup of epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, I don't know what the time on this is, but this is what makes you throw up. And what you're gonna do is you got a little flask with epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi, epi So what you, I don't know what the time on this is, but this is what makes you throw up.

And what you're gonna do is you got a little flask with epicac in it. You got an epicac flask. And you're gonna take that. And when you feel- That's a good word for such a bad thing. When you feel- Epicac.

Maybe we could sell an epiflask, which is just a flask with epicac in it. You feel the urge. This is your moment. You got to time this, because you need to be congratulating both of them at the same time. Oh, Lord. This is worse than flour.

And you are going to vomit like you've never vomited before and it is gonna get on at least her dress. Oh, Rhett. I'm just saying. and then you are gonna immediately begin apologizing profusely. I'm so sorry, as you continue to find, I'm so sorry, I'm so, I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this is happening.

Because that's why you're not turning away, because you're apologizing. Yeah, no, no, you turn away and get some other people, but then you come back, and hit them. Fire hydrant. I'm so sorry to everybody. Cause then everybody. The DJ will stop playing music.

Other people start vomiting. People start throwing up. Oh, that's ruining them. You may get one of them to throw up. Can we move this to the ceremony? I'd love to hear you do it. I mean, you know, you go up there, it's like, you start walking up there in the middle of the ceremony, it's like, excuse me, I've gotta fix the train of your,

first you're fixing the train of the dress, and they're like, well there, okay. I guess this person just thinks they need to fix the train of her dress during the ceremony, and, I guess this person just thinks they need to fix the train of her dress during the ceremony, and then you start vomiting on it. Well, they're gonna know you planned that. Maybe you need to volunteer to sing at the wedding.

Oh yeah, okay. Yeah. How ugly thou, oh! Ha ha ha ha. Wow. That would ruin it. Yeah, a little vomit is contagious. Yeah, so I mean I told you, I apologize for this.

You didn't hear it from me. Yeah, and you totally, you're totally, people feel sorry for you. And then they think that maybe they did something with the food. Ooh, yeah, it's their fault. Their fault. Yes. All right, that's. I did something with the food. Ooh, yeah, it's their fault. Their fault. Yes. All right, that's...

I had some of the shrimp. All right. To work up to that, which is the ultimate. That's the ultimate. Okay. If you're not ready for that and you still wanna ruin the wedding, I don't know, maybe you can bring a dog to the ceremony.

Okay. And... Say less. You know, walk dog to the ceremony. Okay. And- Say less. You know, walk them down the aisle. Maybe if your dog is- Some people have dogs, they do the ring bearer thing. Their dog- The ring barker.

Yeah, but this is like, you bring your own ring bearer and you just like, you send them down there. Maybe they like to mark things a lot. They're like, marky. Everybody who's on the end of the aisle, they're getting their shoe peed on. This could backfire though, because everybody loves a dog.

A lot of people do. What's this do? But if it's a real horrible dog. How about like a raccoon? Yeah, a raccoon. Bring a raccoon and swear it's your dog. If you let- The ring bear. If you let-

There it is. You know what is actually a really good animal to let loose inside of a space that's actually not harmless but really scary? It's a possum. Ew. Because at a certain point they'll play dead and somebody's gotta speak it up. You put a possum in a church during a wedding, that'll ruin a wedding. Because they don't actually do that much, but they go, and they won't bite. They don't bite you. You can put your hand in a possum. I think I've talked about this many times. You can put your hand in a, I think I've talked about this many times,

you can put your hand in a possum's mouth and it won't bite, but it will ruin a wedding. It'll ruin a wedding. People will trample each other potentially. Dale brought a possum to the wedding. Don't invite him next time. You're definitely not getting invited to anything else. But again, you could plant the possum

in a special location. A remote control cage that releases. Like inside the organ or something or in the piano. I don't wanna hurt the possum. I'm not advocating violence to animals. How can you, where could you put a possum before a wedding such that it would be revealed during the wedding? What kinds of things are opened up during a wedding?

Well, the rings are usually in a pocket. Oh no, I don't think anything's opened up during a wedding. So maybe you've got to have the possum in something that you remotely open at a certain point. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Like a cage under a pew. Yep, yeah. Under the front pew. That's it.

And you might need a couple of possums because you can't trust one possum. Yeah. It's tough to trust one possum. You're gonna need three possums for this operation. And you might get one to do something cool or you might get all three. And it really just depends on the day and the weather. I'm gonna suggest one more to work up to this because to work up to the vomit, you gotta get the possums.

To work up to the possums, I think what you want to do is you want to have a silent power trip over the people that ruined your wedding, now at their wedding. So let's just say, lame example, they ruined your wedding with air horns. Like, why did you bring an air horn to my wedding during the back, ha, you know, that would really put a hitch in a ceremony.

Oh, during a ceremony. During a ceremony. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're like hitting the air horn. Great for the reception, though. Still, it's really loud. I think you need to have an air horn. You need to have, but air horn represents whatever they did to you that now-

You should always have an air horn. For, yeah, first of all, you should always have- I got one on me right now. Have an air horn. I mean, any avid boater knows that. You never know when somebody's not paying attention while boating. Exactly.

And they'll just run right on you. I think that you're basically making eye contact, let's just say it's the bride that ruined your wedding, you're making eye contact with the bride at certain points just to like, and just holding up that air horn. Your finger's right on it. Are you gonna, are you gonna? Not right now.

Not right now. Every time they look at you. Hold up the air horn. How do you get them to look at you though? Am I gonna? Usually they're really enthralled with each other. You might need a little signal or something. I think you might need to like,

eek the air horn a little bit. Or wave it, wave the air horn. How about just- Just get their life cycle. Aggressive throat clearing. Ha! Ah! That'll get somebody to look.

People actually can't help it. Ha! Ah! Yeah, okay, this is not a bad idea. Mind games. Yeah. Because you're not gonna ruin their wedding. You're gonna let them know

that you could ruin their wedding. Yeah, and this way you don't suffer. You don't suffer. Nobody else suffers, but they suffer on their big day. You could give the pastor epicac. Yeah, you could. Which I really, I actually don't really recommend because I think that could be illegal.

Yeah, that's kind of like poisoning somebody. If a pastor has to bow out, you can't officially get married. You know what I'm saying? If the officiant has a physical problem. Okay, or you could just give him an air horn. Oh bless you. You want to give him an air horn, pastor? How about replace the ring with an air horn?

Yep, so when he pulls it out, Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr But they could go off. That's gonna drive you nuts. One flaw in this is some people cannot recognize an air horn. They might think it's a cheese whiz. That's true. Classic mistake. So I think you might need a big, legible label on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Air horn. Above it. Maybe you wear a hat that says, I'm holding an air horn.

That's it. A trucker hat, I'm holding an air horn. That's it. I truck her hat. I'm holding an air horn. This is not cheese whiz. Not cheese whiz. Okay. Well, we solved that one. But then I think you go up to him at the reception. Maybe you do have some cheese whiz. The whole time it was cheese whiz.

You lace him with cheese whiz. Whoa, you cheese whiz them? Cheese whiz them. You cheese whiz. Whoa, you Cheez Whiz them? Cheez Whiz them. You Cheez Whiz them during the reception? Cheez Whiz them. I mean, it's a stepping stone to vomit. It'll get you more comfortable vomiting on a bride. If you vomit on somebody during a ceremony or during a reception, you will be embarrassed,

but your reputation will not be tarnished. That's true. But you Cheez Whiz somebody? You probably won't get a job after that. But you might have a little fan group on Facebook. There's some people who are like, wow, I'm really with Cheez Whiz, dude. The Cheez Whizlers. Cheez Whizlers? Yeah.

Yeah, is that on Facebook? So that's it. We've got varying levels of ruining weddings. We give you options. And keep in mind that the possum option is three options in one. Yep. So you've got five different ways you could play this.

So take one of those please and report back. I watched a video of a coyote at a construction site. He was being filmed by like a guy in a big piece of equipment. of a coyote at a construction site. He was being filmed by like a guy in a big piece of equipment. They were like clearing some land. And then he runs up on a possum just in the middle of this thing and he grabs the possum and he takes it.

He picks it up in his jaws. And then it, of course it plays dead. So then he drops it. And he just kind of looks at it. And then he looks up and he makes eye contact with the guy filming him in the piece of equipment the coyote does. And then he takes a couple of steps forward

and he pees on the possum. He walks off. Oh my God. He walks off. And then after a while, the possum gets up and walks away. Oh my God. He walks off. And then after a while, the possum gets up and walks away. With piss on him. And Coyote piss is horrible. I smell that stuff.

That's bad. I saw a Coyote video recently and it was, and I didn't know how to feel about it because I've got some, I don't know how I feel about Coyotes. Let me just tell you that first because. They're around. Boy, they are.

You'll be driving around Los Angeles in the evening, late at night. Well not just seeing them. You'll be driving behind a coyote. Like, it's like, well, do you have a Carpool Lane sticker? You can get out of the way. I would say two to three nights a week, if we're outside.

Walking. Just in my yard. The coyotes start going crazy and what I've been told, and I'm not no expert and the person that told me this wasn't, but maybe they saw an expert. Yeah. Is that when they're going, they start going nuts. It's usually, and it doesn't sound like dogs, it's a distinct sound. They have gotten something.

Most likely a pet, right? Oh. They've gotten, they've captured something and they are all like. Frenzy. Going crazy and they are close. They get close, I mean first of all, they get in my front yard and I got my dogs out there.

I don't want my dogs to get eaten by a coyote. We had coyotes behind our house in that little fenced in area between the two houses. Really? Like as a pathway? Two years ago, when the people next to us were redoing their house and they didn't live there for like a year, the coyotes figured it out

and they were hanging out in their yard and then they were coming up behind and they could easily have jumped. We let Shawna Barbara out to do their business and we don't always go out there with them. Yeah, that's, you gotta do that. I just don't know how I feel about coyotes. Like I do not put them on the level of dogs.

And so I saw a video where there was a coyote that was in distress and this woman like takes it in and revitalizes it and stuff and listen, I understand that from like just a general universal ethic standpoint that this is a living being and stuff. But it was just like, I didn't like, I don't like that coyote.

I don't want more of those coyotes out there. I want less of them out there. You know what I'm saying? And so I don't know how to reconcile my feelings. What about a fox though? Foxes are not a problem for me personally. Foxes do not eat. And foxes kill chickens.

They kill chickens, they don't kill dogs. Maybe little teeny dogs. I've seen footage of people with foxes as pets. Yeah, well they got a new dog-fox hybrid, did you see that? What? First time. Yeah, well they got a new dog-fox hybrid. Did you see that? What? First time. Yeah, first time it's ever happened,

at least, you know, that we know of. What are they called, a fog? Fog or a dox. Dox is not good though, because then you find out where it lives. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's called a dogzim. Dogzim?

D-O-G-X-I-M. Why? I don't know. X-I-M. Huh. Why? I don't know. X-I-M? Because a fog and a dox are both bad. Um, but well, I told you about these foxes in, I think it's Russia. But I thought a fox was more like a cat.

Am I stupid? Don't answer that. Well, those are unrelated questions. We can address each one. A fox is genetically closer related to a dog, apparently. They have similar behaviors on both sides of cats and dogs. But genetics. They branched off of dogs a long time ago. They branched out of dogs.

Coyotes branched off of dogs. Not very recently, is what my understanding was. Does that make you feel better about hating them? Yeah, but the foxes, you know, foxes can be domesticated and then bred to be very friendly, and if you look up, just Google like Russian domesticated foxes, and they got these foxes that make dog noises, have floppy ears, and love people so much

that they pee themselves when people come up to them. And there was this whole movement to domesticate these foxes as pets at some point, and now there's the remnants of that movement somewhere. I think it's Russia. I don't know. This could be a lot of misinformation, but you can Google to verify. It's of little consequence. Right. It's just we're talking about domesticated foxes. But yeah. So... It's of little consequence. Right, it's just we're talking about domesticated foxes. But yeah, so I don't know how.

It's not like we're ruining a wedding. I don't know how they hybridized a dog and a fox together because you have to have some sort of genetic similarities in order to do that, right? Like you can't just, like there's gotta be some common ancestor that's not too far back. I mean, they could make us in a chimpanzee, half human, half chimpanzee.

They could easily do that. You think they could? If scientists turned their laser focus on making a human-chimpanzee hybrid, there is zero doubt that they would be able to do it. I'm not saying that they should. I mean, I've fallen off of the Planet of the Apes movies after Charlton Heston, but is that-

That's a while back. The premise of that? I have no idea. I haven't watched any of the recent ones. I'm just saying that like- I think it's just parallel evolution. You can, something that diverged six million years ago, you can hybridize that.

Yeah. So you basically, you wanna keep the brains of a human, but you wanna get the brawn of a- I don't know. I'm not saying advocating for this. I'm just saying that from a, it would be possible. It would be possible. Okay. We need to move to higher ground here.

Okay, all right. This is getting scary. We don't have much of a fall to speak of here in Southern California, but I have noticed waking up, walking outside, it's a little bit cooler. Oh yes, I might need another layer. Right, you can't just go out there.

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Next question. Hi, Rhett and Link. My name is Jewel, and I live in North Carolina, so I'm also a North Carolina native. I've really been loving the Canada and the Chicago segment where you give your honest opinions about what you think. So I wanna hear what you think about North Carolina being a North Carolina native. Alright, thanks guys. That's right. We're North Carolina boys, always and forever. We know lots about it. I mean.

There's a lot about North Carolina that might surprise you. And some of the things that we're very familiar with are the things that we do right from birth, right? So your typical thing that you would do with a baby is that like it comes out of the womb and then you give it the teat. Well, that's not how it works in North Carolina.

Right. We give the babies a cigarette. Mm-hmm. Right. Just a little tobacco. Every North Carolina baby lives off smoke alone for the first 18 months of life. Right. And of course this goes back to... We know that smoking is bad for you, but I mean, so much industry in our state was built on it. It's an economic decision. It's an economic decision.

Sometimes we sacrifice our health for economics. Yeah, yep. Another thing that happens is, you know, typical baby birthday parties, like one-year-old birthday parties, you set a cake in front of the child, and then they just throw their face into it. We don't do that. We set a pig, a hog. Right, it's cooked.

But it's cooked and it's small. I hate to say this, but it is a baby pig. It's a suckling pig. Yep, yep, right there. Every child gets a suckling pig to themselves on the first birthday. What is Betty gonna do to the suckling pig? Yeah, and then we make a lot of judgments

about the future of the child based on what part of the pig eats first. Right. Keep in mind, it does have to take its cigarette out in order to eat the pig. Well, they don't smoke cigarettes forever. It's just a new... First 18 months, though.

Yes, it's just the first... They're still well into it. Okay, but yeah. It's his first birthday. Oh, that's true, that's true. We also know that North Carolina is better than South Carolina in every way. We do not speak to people from South Carolina if we can help it.

Yeah, yeah. And when we do, we judge them. Harshly. And when you're from North Carolina, you know about all the places in it, but when you're not, you just know about Asheville and Wilmington. Right. That's all we let outsiders know about. And, you know, yeah, is it cool? Is it cool there in the mountains?

Yeah, it's pretty cool in Asheville. Yes. Okay. You're right. We'll give you that. Everybody knows that. It's pretty cool in Asheville. There's a whole middle part. I don't have much to say about it. That's where I go. Well, how about a short sidebar away from our funny talk since you brought up Asheville. I feel obligated to shout out the people of Asheville who went through hell and are still in recovery from that.

It's gonna be a long time coming. Given our love to Asheville. And the United Way of North Carolina, we supported them in the work that they're doing out there, encourage you to do the same. You brought it up. Hey, yeah, sending our love and support to United Way of North Carolina.

We don't have cars, we have NASCAR's. We don't have cars, we have NASCARs. And you think you would come to North Carolina and you'd see roads with stoplights, no, no. Everything's banked. Everything is a banked oval, we only take left turns. If you can't get to a location by taking a series of left turns, then you cannot get there.

If it requires a right turn in North Carolina, you gotta take three lefts in order to get there. But it's fast. Oh, it's real fast. It's so fast. There are no speed limits. The faster the better, as a matter of fact. If you haven't experienced it,

you've probably seen like cloverleafs getting on and off like a freeway in whatever state you've experienced, everything's like that. Everything's like getting on and off a freeway, but it's just how the roads work. Every town. And nobody gets dizzy, because we're all used to it. Yeah.

Vestibularly, we are, most fighter pilots come from North Carolina because of the banked roadways. And when you pull into a gas station, 12 men in full body suits come up and change your tires, fill your car up with gas real fast. Everything. I mean, it is absolutely nuts. And then you're back on the road in about 15 seconds. Right. You have a fob on your visor, and that's how you pay. Right. It's kind of like a toll booth.

And also this is really important from a religious perspective, is that nine out of 10 North Carolinians, when they select religion on the census, they select college basketball. Right. And everywhere you look, there are churches. But they're just showing ACC games inside there.

Right, yeah. From the 80s and 90s, by the way. Yeah, reruns. When the ACC meant something. That's right. Yep. Love it, it's a great place. We love growing up there, we learn so much.

And also, we're first in flight, not you, Ohio. Just because you produced the Wright brothers, Yeah, but they flew in us. You're still wrong. They flew on us. Where did they go? Where did the flight happen? Kitty Hawk, us, North Carolina Beach. Right there. Ohio wasn't good enough to fly in. So they had to leave and find a worthy state.

Okay? And they never went back. I believe they did, but it's okay. They might have visited. So that's North Carolina. Send us your questions about any other place on Earth. Let's hear another. Hey, Rhett and Link. This voicemail is for Jenna. I want to say you're a genius

because I just listened to the episode about you having a proclivity to start fires. And a couple episodes or so before that, you were talking about how you would be very interested in a firefighter partner, and I just think that's a great combination. I think that's a great way to get a partner, and I just think you're next level, so well done. Oh, I thought this dude was gonna say he was a firefighter. Oh, no, but I love being called a genius. Thank you. A genius. I mean, that's better than arsonist. Yeah, no, but I love being called a genius, thank you. A genius.

Wow. I mean, that's better than arsonist. Yeah, yeah. A little bit. Both could be true. So how, yeah, how did this happen? Because we've started to have an idea of your type. Or types.

I don't know how many. Yeah. And that's why I was like, Jen likes a, I don't know how many. Yeah. And that's why I was like, Jenna likes a, you'd like a fireman. Yes, I would. I've never dated a fireman. Oh really? Yeah.

So describe what we're picking up on, but that you know fully. I mean, this is you, this is your preference. What's your type? And why is fireman it? Fireman, I suppose, will be it just because it's a very physical, demanding job. Okay. You want a bulky guy. You want a muscle guy. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't necessarily need to be like a...

Capable. Yeah. Someone who's capable. I'd still like a man that's a little squishy. Okay, okay, okay. Squishy, a little squishy, but a lot capable. Yeah, a lot capable. Alright. A little squishy. They protect, they help the community in different ways.

I like the uniform. Oh, let's, yep, there we go. I like the uniform. Oh, that's, yep, there we go. You like uniforms. Yes, yeah, yeah. Marines were always my type, but I'm avoiding them for the time being because it has never worked out for me. Okay, taking a break from Marines.

Yeah, taking a break. What about Air Force, Army, Space Force? I've never dated any of the other branches, actually. Oh, really? Just Marines. Okay. They really like me and I like them. They're fun.

They're a little crazy. I think that's why I need a little, someone who's going to run into a burning building. Just a little unhinged, you know? But you haven't dated a fireman. I haven't. I also get the impression, because you're good in an emergency,

like you're good if things start going sideways. I am, yeah. Cool headed. And I think you would be, if you were in a relationship with a man that wasn't good in emergencies, you would lose respect for him. Yeah, yeah. Would you not?

Yeah. Like a guy who like freezes up. How about working for a guy who's not good in emergencies? That's different. That's different. That's different. Okay, good. I'm getting paid to use my skills. You helped a lady with a Target bag. Yeah, you did. With a Trader Joe's bag.

That's right. You've proven yourself recently. Yeah, you did good in that emergency. That's right. Yeah. That I'm rubbing off on you. that emergency. That's right. Yeah. I'm rubbing off on you. My energy. That's it.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's also just someone, because I am so hyper independent and can do all the things. finding a partner that can take some of that from me and allow me to be a little softer would be nice. And you have a pole in your house. Not anymore, but yeah, I did have a pole in my house. That's how we got on the topic, because of the pole. Yeah, I had a pole in my apartment for a long time

in college, because a friend of mine was a stripper. Anywho, not to get us back on that topic. It didn't go up to the next floor. It didn't go up to the next floor. It was strictly a stripper poll. Yeah, yeah. Now, you're gonna be on, aren't you gonna be on a Good Mythical Weekend at some point?

Are they gonna bring in firefighters? They heard the runner of us talking about firefighters and stuff and were like, let's find Jenna a firefighter. Hell yeah. So yeah. Let me tell you right now, you probably already know this, but in big cities, my understanding, in big cities like LA, where we come from,

firefighters are volunteer firefighters, right? In the country. I'm sure they get paid something, but they all have other jobs, but in a city like this, it's like a full-time, good-paying job with benefits, and they've got a predictable schedule, they know when they're on and they know when they're off and that kind of thing. They're on a lot, but then when they get off, they have long weekends.

Yeah. There's a lot of catch up time. Yeah, yeah. And then you get your independent time because they're working for double shifts. Yeah, they're doing double shifts and then that's my time. I think that's-

And you like to have some alone time. I do love alone time. Right. This could be perfect. We gotta find some damn firefighters. Yeah, but we'll see how the Good Mythical Weekend episode, we're not doing that until later, so I think they're still looking for firefighters. They may expand to other emergency personnel.

If you are a firefighter or a suit wearing, giving Marines, but not too much because she's not doing that right now. In the Southern California area. In the greater Los Angeles area. I have a habit of finding men who don't live in the area. So in the area is preferred. We don't want Orange County, we want greater Los Angeles area.

Okay, Orange County, I mean, that could be an hour away, maybe. Or Irvine, I mean, if somebody works for the Irvine fire department, what if he's perfect? Well, I don't want wanna... That'd be fun. I don't wanna sit down with somebody that then she has to... she decides to move to Orange County. Well, I mean, maybe she's halfway to it, you know?

30-minute commutes, a lot of that. I just think... I really like my super close commute. Okay, if you work for the Burbank Fire Department... There we go. You have a serious leg up to everybody else. Even Glendale. I'm gonna put a radius on this,

because I don't want to be the reason that Jenna doesn't work with us anymore. That's true. So this is about you all. It's about us. It's about all of us. It's about all of us working together. Yeah, I don't want to along commute, so no thank you.

Okay. Okay. And if he shows up in just those, just the pants? Oh boy. Oh, no shirt. You know the suspenders in just the pants? That's usually a stripper. Oh. Right, right. Not always. Well, they have the firemen calendar.

It could be a fireman who's changing. That's true. Yeah. That's true. That's true. Okay, well how does the fireman take off everything except the pants and leave the suspenders on? That is a suspicious way to get undressed. Yeah, usually there's at least a t-shirt. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah. Or a tank. Tank. Yeah, yeah, he's got a tank top on. And you're okay with the danger of worrying about, oh, now I care about this person, and they're running into death-defying situations. I have already dated men in those situations, so it wouldn't be uncommon. You like that energy a little bit? dated men in those situations, so it wouldn't be uncommon. Yeah, I'm, yeah. You like that energy a little bit?

A little bit of that is like, I'm acquainted with... Well, I think it's also, you know, if I'm, it's the job that they, yeah, I am acquainted with death. Yeah, I am acquainted with death. But it's the job they chose, I'm not gonna... Yeah. Yeah, and from a statistic standpoint, it's not like they're probably gonna be fine.

I mean, they are in a more dangerous job than what we do, but occasionally, I mean, we skydive every once in a while. Right. And we're not qualified to do half the things we do. They're fully qualified. Honestly, the dangerous part of being a firefighter around here is when you have to fight the wildfires.

Right, yeah. But even then, it still rarely results in somebody getting killed. This is gonna be fun if they're parading in all of these firemen for you, yeah. I don't know if it's gonna be a parade. I don't know how many people would feel like applying to date me. It'll be a lineup of three.

Yeah, it's not only people who wanna date me, but it's like people who wanna come on the show and try and date me. So if you don't know, we do Saturday episodes on the Good Mythical Morning Channel. We call it Good Mythical Weekend. It's like crew stuff and like, Emily dated somebody, Michaela dated somebody. You're next on the Good Mythical Morning channel, we call it Good Mythical Weekend, it's like crew stuff and like Emily dated somebody, Michaela dated somebody, you're next on the list. I'm next on the list, yeah. Okay, yeah.

This is fun. This is good, little, brush up on your back draft. Yeah. Okay, that's a great movie. So I'm sure that the Mythical team is contacting. Climb up on that hose. Local fire departments, but if you know anybody in the local fire departments in Los Angeles, or you are those people, just know that.

Be looking for that call, or call us and leave a voicemail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And can I clarify, when I said Climb Up on That Hoes, I was talking about the rolled up hoses on top of the fire truck where the, Yeah, I knew what you're talking about. The lovemaking scene happened with Backdraft, I think. Yeah. I've only been told about it. I haven't seen it. I watched Backdraft and don't remember that.

They were making love on the fire truck. You would have thought it. Maybe I was watching it with my dad and he fast forwarded it. Yeah, I don't remember. You don't remember a lovemaking scene? It's been a long time since I've seen Backdraft. I'll watch it again soon. Patrick Swayze, right?

I think you may be getting confused with the porn version, Backshaft. Oh. Yeah, that's what happened. You've seen, you saw that. Okay. And you've got them mixed up in your mind now. In fact, all of Back Shaft took place

on top of a firetruck. On some big hoses. Pretty much a 45 minute movie. I mean, maybe you'll get to steer the back of a hook and ladder truck. Oh my gosh, that'll be so fun. I've been in a firetruck once before. That's a weird story.

But those are so long that That's a weird story. You steer the back. That's another time. That's a weird story. But those are so long that you steer the back. That's another time. That's not a discussion. Oh really? Why is it another time? That's not the Davin story. That's the Davin story. Oh it is the Davin story.

It is the Davin story. At Mythicon. When we were at Mythicon, yeah. He had an allergic reaction. He had an allergic reaction and we were all at a brewery and it was a Sunday and all of us had been drinking and so and no one had vehicles anyway even if we weren't drinking. Right. So, um, I, me and Bethany and I went to everyone in the brewery asking for like Benadryl something, nobody had anything. Not even like, they didn't even have it in the first aid kit at this brewery. Was his throat closing

Just cover. He was getting really really wet. Yeah, you like you were there So many like really red like super oh yeah full on allergic reaction from what no idea Well technically there is this thing and it's like I don't know if it's always true, but it's called Asian flush Okay, that when they drink that like that's like, I don't know if it's always true, but it's called Asian flush. Okay. That when they drink that, that's a thing. Yes, I, yeah. He'd been experiencing it earlier in the weekend as well, which made me think it was some sort of like-

In the Texas air? Yeah, in the Texas air, like hay fever or something that his body wasn't used to. Anyway, he was having a full blown allergic reaction. I go into emergency mode as I do. And I was like, well, okay, there's a place close by that we can get some Benadryl. Everything was closed on a Sunday where we were. And so I just kept walking and walking

and saw a fire department. I was like, excellent, they're gonna have Benadryl. And me, just being the person that I am didn't consider how crazy it would look if I just walk right in to their kitchen. I literally walk into their kitchen and they're all sitting there and they're like who is this dick and I was like oh hi um hello My friend is having an allergic reaction. It's fine, but I just wanna get some Benadryl from you all because everything's closed and they were like,

well we have to see him and blah blah blah and explain the whole thing. They have to attend to him. And I was like, oh god, well please, it's not an emergency. It's like, well we gotta drive over there. It's like, please don't put on the sirens, oh boy. And they were like, hop in the truck,

so I get to ride in the truck. I forgot that you got into the truck. So you were riding in the truck, and they were like. Yeah, Bethany and I, Bethany and I were riding in the truck. That's awesome. And we get there. Something tells me that me and Rhett wouldn't be riding in the truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're like, here we go, we get to take these ladies down to the restaurant. They were like, yeah. And they drive us over, and I tell them I'm like. I ain't never gonna ride in a fire truck. Yeah. Just by crashing a launch. They would have given us directions to the local CVS. Right.

Right. And I was like, please wait here, y'all don't need to come all barreling in to administer first aid, so I went and grabbed Davin and brought him out to the parking lot and they checked him and true enough, he was having a late evening. What did Davin say when he saw.

We got a surprise for you. When he saw the fire truck. It's the firefighter and sure enough he was having him late. What did Davin say when he saw the fire truck? Oh, he was very excited. Some of these firefighters were very attractive. So he was very happy. Yeah, Davin likes firefighters. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Yeah, we gotta watch out for Davin on your dating day. Yeah, he's gonna try and steal these men from me.

We gotta keep him back. Ha ha ha. Yeah, he's gonna try and steal these ones. We gotta keep him back. Oh, that's hilarious. He might conveniently have to break out in the hives again. I know. Okay, you wanna take one more quick one? Sure. Hey guys, this is Anthony from Tennessee. I'm a truck driver, so I'm constantly listening to you guys

and dispatches from Myrtle Beach and Hot Dog is a Sandwich. One of the last you guys, what is your own network on truckers after moving from the South to California? I notice there's a very big difference between how truck drivers are treated in the South and the North and then out West, especially in California. So I want to see you all's outlooks on what you all thought about truck drivers and if you guys' opinions have changed. If you guys, love you guys. Thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for calling. I don't know, I didn't know that like people thought of

truck drivers in different ways in different places. You think he's watching or just listening? He's a truck driver, he probably can't see me, he's asking him to toot the horn. We got our fists in the air and we're going in an up and down motion. So as you're listening, give us a hoot, toot, a hoot. Give us a honk. Give us a honk. They are the lifeblood. I love truck drivers. Of America. Moving stuff around. Moving and shaking.

Pulling over the way. Talking on the CB. Sleeping in the back. Going to the biggest truck. I'm the bull of the woods. I'm the Bull of the Woods. I'm the Beaver from Missouri. There's a Merle Haggard song called the Bull of the Woods. It's about a male trucker and a female trucker connecting romantically over a CB. Yep.

It is a great song. And having a meetup. It gets a little dirty. Yeah, for a little hanky panky. That's interesting. I've actually always had, I actually experienced this just last week. I've never thought about this until this question was asked.

I've never spoken about it. But I just realized now that you've asked the question and I'm reflecting on a recent experience that I've always had, and I don't know if it's like something my, probably something my dad said at something at some point as a kid, I've always had this reverence and respect for truck drivers. Like it was some noble profession in that they

It was some noble profession in that they know a whole lot more about driving in general than anyone else because they have to. They have to have a special license. They've got this giant thing that can kill people. And I am really, really... It's so easy when you're merging in this town to look for a truck to merge in front of you, you know, because they keep a little bit of distance. Yeah. And a lot of these California A-holes, like for some reason, let me just say, I don't do this. Like when somebody's trying to merge,

I don't even care if they've like waited until the very end. I never played that game where I'm like, I'm not gonna let you in, I'm not gonna let you in, I'm not gonna let you in. I don't understand it psychologically. I'd like to thank you for gonna let you in, I'm not gonna let you in, I'm not gonna let you in. I don't understand it psychologically. I'd like to thank you for that. Okay. Because I'm one of those people merging in.

I'm just like, yeah, come on, we're all trying to go places. Let's just let people, it's fine, okay? Sometimes it does get excessive, I know. But you don't do that in front of an 18-wheeler. But I always, and sometimes there's a gap, and it is a good enough gap, and I feel okay, but I'm always like, you know, I'm very, like I was like, say thank you, sir, like very,

like I don't know, I just had this reverence. Of course, he can't see you do that if you do that in the cab of your car. And I saw last week a truck driver got cut off by someone, and he was upset, and I looked up, well, I looked up this way because he was up there. And I like, I just made eye contact for a moment and there was this like, I see you, man.

Yeah. I see you, you're a truck driver. I'm sorry on that person's behalf. I wish I could make everybody respect you like I respect you, you're a truck driver. I'm sorry on that person's behalf. I wish I could make everybody respect you like I respect you. As much as I cut people off, I always go right behind the trucks if I have to. I do not cut right in front of them

because they put their buffer there because you don't want to be getting right in that, in front of a big 18-wheeler barreling down on you. It takes them longer to break. Like don't do that. Exactly. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, that's why it's there.

Yeah. You don't want that. But did you know, Anthony, is that the name? I did not know that there's a perception that they're treated differently. I didn't know that either. Treated differently out west, in California in particular? Like, looked down upon?

Yeah, I didn't know that. But they're, I mean, they're, they got this totally different lifestyle, especially the long haul truck drivers, you know? It's like, they're having to, they're camping in their car, but it's like, I watch videos on TikTok of like, day in the life of a truck driver,

like a get up in the morning, like you see them get up, get out of their bed, like put their bunk away, and some of them have like buddies, where it's like two people, one person's sleeping, the other person's driving, and then like switch off to like really get somewhere. I think there's some couples that do some truck driving together.

Oh. There's probably a YouTube couple that truck drives. I think this is all very, very cool to me. I think me and you could do that. There's gotta be YouTube. There's gotta be tag team truck drivers? Tag team truck drivers. They're nice in there and they're huge. I've always loved the idea of having your own little space. I loved, like when I did my solo trip and finally did one of those. and they're huge and you're delivering stuff that people need. Having your own little space. I love, like when I did my solo trip and finally did one of those.

No matter where you are, you're home. Just like having your home in there and there's a little place you can sleep in there and you got food in there. Oh yeah. Oh, there is a truck driver. And the truck stop showers. There's a truck driver on TikTok who.

That's interesting. There's a truck driver on TikTok who shows you what he's eating and it's just shit that he gets from a truck stop. And it'll be like- Yeah, you gotta watch yourself. He'll be like, all right now, and he's got like a pickles and cheese and processed meat and all the stuff

that I love, you know? Right. And he's just like making a meal of it. I bet truck talk is probably, yeah, I don't, I haven't even thought about this. I've only seen that guy. There's a whole world out there. I mean, the Alabama song, Roll On. I think that's where we get it from.

That's really shaped, I mean, it's such a great story. It kinda gives me chills and makes me tear up. There's two Alabama songs that actually made me think about Truck Driver. So you got Roll On, which is the story of a truck driver who gets stuck in a snow drift. Right. And he's trying to get back home. And he doesn't have a cell phone.

Doesn't have a way to get in touch. And then you got 40 Hour a Week, where it goes through all the blue collar jobs. Yep. And basically. Maybe not all of them, but a lot of them. Just talks about the respect. It's the one behind the big rig.

Bring in the load. What a good song, man. Both of those songs are great. It's the plumber bending over, fixing your commode. I'd love to shame some of the trucking companies though on their payment practices, if I may. All right, let's do it. Let's hear it. Just because I do love and respect the truck drivers and everything they do.

Sometimes they will only pay the truck drivers based on miles traveled rather than hours. So it's really frustrating for truck drivers who get stuck in traffic or they're at ports and they have to wait to unload their cargo and they're not getting paid for that time. So screw you truck companies that don't properly pay your truck drivers anyway. Okay.

Bullshit. Thank you for that. You're welcome. There you go. Man, look at that. I have strong feelings about that. Maybe you want to date a truck driver. Oh, truck drivers, they're always gone.

They're always gone. They're too much. They're always gone. Unless they take me with them on some trips, no. I don't know. Well, think about it. I think that's probably a hard part of your job, truck drivers.

Think about it. You know, being on the road so much. Yeah. Get lonesome. Well, I'm glad we keep. There's only so much of a relationship you can have over a CB. But I'm so glad, Anthony, that in other truck drivers who listen to Ear Biscuits,

that we can keep you company out there on the road. I love to hear that. And your seats, your seats are like super boingy. And there's the springs under them. Yeah, they're like, I mean, all, there's like air cushioning and everything, including the seat itself. Hoo-wee, I bet you they got massage seats. There's probably some really nice ones. Probably comfortable, yeah, real comfortable.

But you gotta work your way up. Remember your sunscreen, truck drivers. Protect your skin. On that left arm, especially. On that left arm, yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, you gotta get, you don't want that dark arm syndrome. Yeah, you'll get age spots. I saw, there's a female truck driver

and they were using her as an example of the need for sunscreen. And it was just like the left side of her neck and the left, like the aging of that part of her body compared to the right profile was crazy. Take care of yourself out there. And we'll catch you on the flip profile. It's crazy. Take care of yourself out there. And we'll catch you on the flip side. Over. I do have a rec.

And it is a book. I'm a big fan of Anne Lamott, the author. She's been writing for a really long time. Any book, any book that she writes. Would you call her a philosopher? Sure, yeah. Okay. Um...

Spiritual edifier? I would call her that, yes. But she also wrote a book that's about writing, which I found very helpful and encouraging and... Is that right? ...eliminating, Called Bird by Bird. Kind of a classic in the writing community. I spent out for a long time. Okay.

But I heard Rich Roll talking about it. You had the pleasure of meeting, and I'm jealous. Yep. Rich Roll and his wife. Julie. Julie. Anyway, still dealing with that. But Rich was talking to somebody on his podcast, which I listened to, and they were talking about Bird by Bird, and so I was like, I'm gonna listen to it.

And I listened, cause they suggested listening to it, because we have like every Anne Lamott book on our bookshelf in our living room. But her delivery is just great. And also, she's very funny. So if you're into what, you'll be into this book. Well, if you're into anything, anything creative, but it is very specifically about writing. And writing books, which is something that we have done from time to time, but it basically is about the process of creating and finding your voice and accessing the things inside you and your life experience that give you a voice that's like a fingerprint, you know?

Okay. And I just love the way that she talks about life and how they recommend it. I think it would be helpful for anyone who's interested in creating anything, especially people who are writers and anyone, which is everyone, who is a writer who's dealt with any kind of creative block. Bird by bird.

Bird by bird. All right, this was fun. Thanks for hanging out and listening to us. Give us a call. Leave us a, well I'll say 188- EarPod One. EarPod One is the number. Also leave us a review wherever you're listening,

if it's not even a good one, it helps. Yeah, thank you. Hey Rhett and Link, today is my 40th birthday and I just finished listening to a playlist from every year of my life. And now I can get back to listening to Ear Biscuits. I'm gonna listen to it at two times speed because no offense you guys sound like the sloth from Zootopia at normal speed but I love you and I'm gonna get back to listening and catch up. Happy birthday to me!