Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - We Settle Your Heated Arguments & A Strange Conan O’Brien Encounter | Ear Biscuits Ep. 328

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

You asked, we settle! This week, Rhett and Link settle your long-standing arguments you’ve had that have been tearing your relationships apart! They settle disagreements across the spectrum from hilarious to life-changing, including when a chicken ceases to be considered “raw,” the official rules of calling shotgun, & whether a couple should consider moving in together despite the family’s reservations. Plus, Rhett details his red carpet meeting with Conan O’ Brien and his wife which culminated in him dropping his pants in front of them. Read all of the arguments that were submitted on this thread! Check out Rhett's Rec of the Week and unwind at Neal.fun (not affiliated with Link Neal), including "Let's Settle This" where the internet settles long-standing internet arguments. Want to have your tweet/story/idea featured on Ear Biscuits? Follow @Mythical so you don't miss the next prompt! Also, Stevie's got a new podcast! Best Friends Back, Alright! is out now! Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or anywhere you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.

Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett.

This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are once and for all, definitively settling your arguments, your disputes that you're having with your loved ones, your friends, your family, you know, people in your life, things that you need help, things that you need these two dads to settle for you. So you're starting with dads first?

Well, I mean, I'm so many things to so many people, Rhett. What is the thing that you think gives you the most like legitimacy in giving advice? Being a father, being a business owner, being a lifelong friend. Being a decent driver. Being a wannabe hairstylist. As long as I'm not in a deep owner, being a lifelong friend. Being a decent driver. Being a wannabe hairstylist. As long as I'm not in a deep conversation,

yeah, I think I'm a decent driver. Well, but typically when I'm driving with you, we are in a deep conversation. So my experience is that- Okay, I'm not qualified. You almost killed one of our fans. But I do. And you had to find out later through Instagram.

Well, they shouldn't have been crossing the street in front of me. I like these episodes because it just brings up things about us that we can just project onto other people. I thought you were gonna say that you like giving advice. I like giving advice. Well, I know that about you. Makes me feel helpful.

I think you think I like it for another reason, but I just wanna be helpful. Well, don't project anything on me. Every time you say that I like giving advice, it's as if you're judging me. Like, be honest. Like, you do not think it's a good thing that I like giving people advice. I find it's a good thing that I like giving people advice.

I find it. I'm sorry that I like to help people. No, no, I'm just, I'm saying that I can sense when someone is about to fall into it. Like when there's someone who's in the room with us or somebody that we just met and I'm like, oh no, no, no. You're about to, oh, what you just said, now you've done it. You've pulled the advice trigger

and you're about to get it from Link. I mean, it's like, I'm not saying you don't, you give bad advice. I'm just saying, it's just an observation I've made. It's a funny thing. Like there's lots of funny things about people that make them eccentric. One of the things about you

is that you really like to give advice. I can't help it if I care about people. Okay. I'm not saying I don't like giving advice. Now I don't think highly of myself and I do try to couch my advice. Hey, it's just food for thought. You're not asking for advice.

You say, yeah, yeah. You're not asking for advice. One of your catchphrases, you didn't ask me this, you didn't ask for this. You're not asking me for it. You didn't ask me for advice, but I am ready for it to give it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think that does it. If I thought it was a bad idea, I wouldn't think that this was a good idea for an episode. Usually I say, I mean, you're not asking for advice here, but, and then they'll cut me off and say, oh, no, no, no, I wanna hear your input. And if they don't say that, then I'm like, I'm gonna hold back a little bit.

So I have adjusted in that way. You're putting it on them to tell you to stop? I mean, I wouldn't stop. If somebody that I don't know well- I can tell. Starts to give advice to me, I'm not gonna tell them not to. Unless they break in and say,

oh no, I wanna hear. Unless they say that, I'm not gonna go full force. I'm not gonna give them like the whole, the blunt reality. But you're gonna go full force today because these people have asked for us to go full force. I'm not gonna give them like the whole, the blunt reality. But you're gonna go full force today because these people have asked for us to go full force. Exactly. But I have, I need to go- Fun for everybody.

I need to go full force in something else. Yes, you do. Because this is something I've been dying to tell you about. I know, the party. The premiere. Night before last. So we get invited, you know, for years,

we went to these occasionally, of course, something called a pandemic happened. So we haven't been to one of these, but we get invited to these premieres for whether it's a movie or a TV show. We don't go to many of them, but there was one that was falling on me and Jessie's date night.

And I was like, oh, this will be fun. Like get back out in the world and go to a premiere, sit in a room with people and watch a show and go to a party. And the personal connection, this was the- We were invited too, but Christy and I couldn't go. Yeah, so the show is Upload on Amazon Prime. Our connection to the show is that it's made by Greg Daniels who you may know as the creator of The Office,

one of the best comedies of all time. The American Office, yes. So yeah, exactly, which is definitively, if you're, you didn't ask for advice, but I'll give you definitively better. Watch that one. Better than the British version. I love Ricky Gervais.

Why am I even getting into that? But so Greg Daniels, and he is the husband of Suzanne Daniels, who was for like six or seven years the head of original programming at YouTube, YouTube Originals. So we got to know her through the development of Buddy System and also the expanded format of Good Mythical Morning.

She's just a great person. I love Suzanne Daniels. She's very sweet. She's always been an advocate of us. She's just a great person. I love Suzanne Daniels. She's very sweet. She's always been an advocate of us. She's very smart. She was at the Streamys when we won show of the year and she stood up at her table and gave a standing ovation at her table.

I mean, she really believed in us. That was very kind. So I was hoping I would get to see her. That's the night that we met Greg. Yeah. And their son who you said is a star. Yeah, so Owen who plays the like bellboy essentially in this, the premise of the show is that when you die,

you, your consciousness is uploaded to an afterlife where you like live at this hotel. Okay. And he plays the bellboy who's essentially AI and he's him but also many versions of him. Now we remember, we met Owen when he interviewed us for some YouTube show he was doing. He was like 16 years old at the time.

That was at a stream, he's way, way back in the day. Yeah. And yeah, and he was actually involved in the creative process on the show with Greg. And then, yeah, he's one of the stars. So he was there, I got to talk to him. Nepotism. But what happened?

He's very talented. But what happened? So- That was just a joke. One of the things that you do when you go to these premieres is you walk the red carpet. Now, typically what would happen if Link and I went with Jessie and Christy,

you and I would walk the red carpet. Yeah. They've never, you know, they're not like itching to walk the red carpet with us, but it was like, I'm going just with me and Jessie and I was like, hey, you can, you know, if you want to walk the red carpet with me, you know, whatever you want to do, I'll go by myself.

You can walk with me. She's like, I'll walk with you. Yeah, let's do it. So, when you arrive at these things, you sort of meet your contact person who takes you to the line and then you stand there in the line and you get ready to walk through. And then that person tells the people-

Who you are. Who you are. And writes your name on a sheet. So that you don't have to tell people who you are because that is really demoralizing. Yeah, and so- Why am I taking your picture? Who? Yes, and now that happens.

Good mystical what? So the, I thought that he might be there because of his tie to Greg Daniels, but I really wasn't expecting it, but I'm in the sort of the line getting ready to go on the red carpet and none other than Conan O'Brien and his wife walk up. And of course, Oh, Conan O'Brien.

They kind of had me in the line getting ready to get onto the red carpet, but when Conan O'Brien shows up, someone comes up to him and says, "'You come to the front of the line.'" But as he was passing me, you know, I did something that wasn't typical of me. You tripped him. Dude, why? But because you weren't there, because you, I did something that wasn't typical of me. You tripped him.

Dude, why? But because you weren't there, because you would have done this if you were there, I was like, well, Link's not here, so I guess I have to do this. He walked by, I was like, Conan, Rhett, shook his hand. He was like, oh, good to see you. Now, this could just be the pat answer

that he gives to anyone who says, obviously, is trying to say something like, you know me, I was on your show 11 years ago. Maybe you've kept up with us. Maybe you haven't, I haven't spoken with you in years. Good for you to give the emphatic Conan ret. Yeah, so I shook his hand. Handshake, and then he's gonna just move on.

Yeah, yeah, and then he just moved on. The good news is, as he moved up to the red carpet, then my PR person came up and was like, "'Oh, you come, now we're ready for you.'" And so I got to go right after Conan. So it kind of looked like maybe I was important for a moment. Okay.

You know. Maybe Andy Richter grew his hair out and got tall. And so we go through, like, you know, you do the thing, you walk and you, cause Jessie was like, well, what are you, cause she hadn't done this. I, or she doesn't remember when she, she was like, what do I do?

I was like, they're just gonna like, there's gonna be a bunch of cameras and the person's gonna be like, Rhett, Jessie. And you're gonna look at that person with that camera and you're gonna smile. And then the next person's like, hey, over here. And you're gonna just do that, right? It's called a step and repeat for a reason.

Yeah, and so we did that. It went great. I think the pictures turned out great. You can probably find them on the internet somewhere. Jessie helped me pick that sweater. It sort of matches her dress. We were pretty proud of ourselves. She made me change.

Let me just be completely honest. I put on a shirt and she said, I do not have that color in my dress. Oh. And then I looked into the drawer and I was like, well, this sweater almost looks just like your dress. And she was like, I think this may be too much. And I was like, well, I'm only changing once.

And so I wore it and it ended up being great because multiple people came up and said, I love this ensemble. Ensemble. So we go through- You guys should make curtains. We go through that. Then I see that Conan and his wife are talking to Suzanne. I'm like, perfect opportunity to go back up and re-engage.

So I go up there and I say, hey, Suzanne, I give her a big hug. I'm like, you remember my wife? And then I shake. Cause we love Conan. And so your desire is to have a little exchange because hey, we were on his show. I mean, we got a lot of respect for the guy.

And so to like have an end to be able to have a conversation and to feel like acquaintances after all these years is really cool. We haven't spoken directly with him in a while, but some of our folks on the Mythical team have talked to some of his folks at his production company for years, like, you know, they know each other as well. So I was like, I don't know how much he's involved in that.

But I was like, well, let's just see. I mean, Suzanne, going up and giving a big hug to Suzanne and her obviously knowing you this well, maybe that'll even be even, you know, maybe it'll start to click if he doesn't remember who I am, who knows? I shake his wife's hand. And then I say to Conan, I say, I'm not gonna shake your hand again

because I've already done it. And then he said, well, and he holds his hand out, he says, I'm gonna shake your hand again because it means that much to me. So we shake. So there's a power dynamic. So we shake hands again. Okay, you lost, good.

Then Suzanne really starts engaging with me and Jesse. He's a little taller than you. He's like gotcha, right? No, no, he's not. Do you think he's taller? Six, seven, I'm not proud of being six, seven. I guess I was saying Coney is six, eight. He's not, I mean, I'm freakishly tall.

In my mind, he's taller than you. Like you're not that tall in my mind. He's very tall. He might be six, five, I don't know. He's very tall. He might be 6'5". I don't know. He's very tall. Okay, yeah. So the conversation shifts to Suzanne kind of catching up with her a little bit.

Conan and his wife sort of peel off a little bit. So I was like, that's cool. I'm here to catch up with Suzanne. So then we grab a little glass of champagne that they had and a popcorn and go, you know, they always got their little lean things. And you go and we sit, we have assigned seats and we go and we sit down.

Small little screening room at this hotel in West Hollywood. I don't know, there's probably 75 people there. Theater seating though? Theater seating. And I sit down and at this point, and only this point, do I realize that my fly is open. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, baby. And I don't mean. Red carpet. I don't mean. Let me look back at those red carpet photos. I don't mean like a third of the way down. Oh yeah. I mean like the zipper was never engaged.

Oh wow. It was a new pair of pants that I've never put on and it had the weird three buttons at the top. Oh yeah, I mean like, the zipper was never engaged. Oh wow. It was a new pair of pants that I've never put on and it had the weird three buttons at the top. Oh yeah, once you get, you're exhausted by the time you do those. I was like, oh, this third, I was like, all the buttons are done and it was just like, I had done too many things

to that portion of my wardrobe and forgot that there was something else to be done, which is called zipping up the zipper. Now were you wearing underwear? No, I was free balling. Oh yeah, now we're into it. So I was wearing underwear, yes. But at that point, like I'm thinking, oh man,

the first thing I thought was, I'm gonna talk about this on Ear Biscuits. Like that's the life that I live. Yeah, that's the redemption. That was literally the first thing. The second thing was- Life's low points become entertainment. What if this is captured,

like was this captured in all those photos that I just took? Like literally like 20 photographers took pictures of me. Photographers. Did you get that blood leaving your head and going to your like feet or was it the opposite? Like all the blood went to your face? No, I didn't get, it's interesting,

I didn't get a sinking feeling, because I was like, man, if there's pictures, a bunch of pictures of me on the red carpet with a unzipped fly, like I'm in the profession where this is something to be embraced. It's like, it'll be a great story. I wasn't freaking out. Yeah. I was just like,

so I- Internet comedians are people too. At that point, I, when I realized it, I zipped it up. But then I was like, well, hold on. I gotta figure out if this could be seen because maybe these pants didn't show that the fly was unzipped. Some pants kind of bunch out and some don't.

You know, pants are pants and they're different. Yeah, yep. So I stand up. And now people are filing into this premiere. It's about half full. I stand up and I unzip my pants, kind of like privately, like unzip my pants and then look at them and then zip them back up.

And I'm like, I don't know if you can see this. And then it hits me. When you're six or seven, you're in a theater. You stand up, you unzip your pants. I'm pretty sure people are noticing. Well, I'm not done. Because at that point, I'm like, this is something I should talk to Conan about.

He's like, and I didn't, I wasn't letting, I think it has something to do with not being in public a lot, you know, over the pandemic. I think my dynamic has changed. Okay, yeah. I didn't, it didn't cross my mind that this might not be a good idea to go up to Conan and his wife.

I feel like you're channeling your inner link. Yeah, you are there and so I did all the dumb stuff. So- I wouldn't call it dumb. So, well, just wait. So they're sitting down and Suzanne is now talking to them again while they're sitting down. They're kind of like four or five rows back.

I get up, I leave my seat, I walk over, I walk down the row, they're talking and I kind of just go up to them and I'm like, something just happened to me that I think you would appreciate. And Conan said, whoa. Conan said, well, I'll be the judge of that. I mean, he's always got something.

He's always ready with a quip, right? And then I said- You left your seat. Yeah, that's what I said. You walked out of the aisle. You walked back up and went down another aisle. There was nobody sitting on the aisle. It wasn't like, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

I need to get a cone in. It wasn't like that. It was very easy to access. He was accessible, but you still had to, you were already seated, you had to get up. This is a big moment for you. Like, I can't believe you did this. Yeah, that's what I'm telling you, I changed.

You stood up, you went back and basically like took over a conversation. You were like, I'm gonna, like a presentation here. I've got something that I wanna tell you. Exactly. So I walk up to them and I say, I've got something that just happened to me that I think you'll appreciate Conan says,

we'll be the judge of that. And I said, I just realized that I did the entire red carpet with my fly down. And I didn't get the response I was after. All of them just kind of looked at me. Like, it wasn't immediate laughter. And then they were like, well, and then I said, and this is where it really gets awkward.

I said, keep going. I don't is where it really gets awkward. I said, keep going. I don't know if it was a problem or not. And at that moment, standing up, I'm standing up in front of Conan and his wife who are sitting down. I unzip my pants in front of them. I'm in the middle of the theater. I am, I was proud of you.

I am uncomfortable. I un middle of the theater. I am, I was proud of you, I am uncomfortable. I unzip my pants and I said, and I hold my arms up like this and his wife says, you can't tell. Oh good. Like she just gives me, like just gives it to me straight. Good. You can't tell and I'm like, okay.

And then I zip my pants back up and I just walk back to my seat. That was it. That's the interaction. You can't tell. Suzanne didn't say anything. Conan didn't say anything. I think she just kind of like,

she sort of smiled in agreement. I think they all just agreed, you can't tell since that seems to be what you were asking. Jessie did not come with you. No, she didn't, thankfully. And I have no idea what the conversation was after I went and sat back down. Because you weren't there anymore.

Right. I immediately regretted it. When I went back to Jessie and I said, I just went up to Conan and his wife who were seated and I was standing right next to him and I just unzipped my pants in front of them. You could be arrested for that. And I mentioned everyone else behind them.

I'm not proud. I'm not proud of this. Public exposure. If something were to be exposed, it would have been exposure. I just now remembered he did say something. It's a little traumatic. This is what Conan said.

His wife said, you can't tell. And then Conan said, it would be a real problem if you stuck your finger out there. Like that's what he said. He says, as long as you don't, you didn't get in there and stick your finger out, you're okay.

And so- Did you think about doing that to test it? Nope, I didn't. Because there's three buttons. I couldn't get my hand in my pants if I wanted to. So then I went and sat back down. I'm sorry I missed that detail, Conan. I know you're listening.

And, oh my gosh. So Jessie didn't know where you were going? I thought for sure you would have told her ahead of time. No, I did. But I did it, I said it and did it all in one motion. So I'm going to tell them, I'm going to ask them something that I could just ask you. And I think that if they thought about it,

they would think about that. Yeah. But it's obvious that I really wanna talk to Conan again. So instead of asking you, my wife, who I trust and am comfortable with, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna do something that puts me really out on a limb here in hopes that like I will have a story on the Ear Biscuits

and maybe Conan's wife will remember me forever because she might see my wiener. Well, let's see. I knew that wasn't gonna happen. I had on very, very well-fitting underwear. There was no risk of exposure. There was no risk of exposure. And the fact is I had already tested it at my seat

and I knew that nothing peaked out. Like something about the pleating of these pants made it where when you unzip them, the flap remained completely closed. So I did have that point of information. I wouldn't have gone back there and unzipped my pants in front of Conan and his wife if I'd have known that something could pop out.

I knew that this was kind of a bit, but I was living in the moment. It was improvisational. I feel like, you know, I applaud you for that portion of the presentation, just putting yourself out there without literally putting it out there. And yeah, it seems like the type of thing I would have done

if I were drunk. I wasn't drunk, I had half a glass of champagne. Okay, well then. As we have established, I'm 6'7", so that's not a problem. You don't, I- I had a little popcorn, maybe it was laced with something. I think, you know, I think you would have, I don't know,

there's no explanation for this except like you desperately wanted to make an impression on Conan. He was like really try hard. Well, I think that that's the thing. I've been there. I think, well, yeah, you live in that world. I know the feeling. But I think that that's the thing that-

Hey, don't listen, don't drag me down. Why are you dragging me down? Listen, this is your story. I'm giving you the feedback, but I do not live in that world and I'm not gonna accept that. But I have experienced it and I know the feeling, but you now know that feeling too.

That was the thing that I was worried about is that obviously, I mean, first of all, when you're Conan O'Brien, people come up and talk to you because you're Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And he has lived a life knowing that that's the case. And so it's no mystery that I'm going up to tell him

because this funny thing happened to me and I've already talked to him twice that night and I know Suzanne. So it's like something funny happens to you, you go to the other people that you know at this place. But yeah, I'm going up there because he's Conan O'Brien. I think I would have thought, I'd like to think that I would have thought,

you know what, at the after party, hopefully Conan's there. I'd love to connect with him some more. I knew he wasn't gonna do that. Oh, you already knew that? I just know he's not the kind of guy that's gonna go to the after party and he didn't. Okay, so you were right about that. You had your one shot and you took it.

And also- But I would have used that as the excuse to say, I'm not gonna go this far. Again, I applaud you for it. I can't believe you did it. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing more stuff like this. Because it, what, worked out? Because it, I mean, I honestly think a big part of it

is the fact that I get to talk about it on the podcast. So it gives me a reason to do it. But also I honestly think, and this may apply to other people out there. And I said it when I went up there, I'm forgetting pieces of the conversation, but when I said, I did this and I was like, I don't know, I just haven't been in public for a long time.

Like this is the first, that's what I told them. I mean, in another sense- And I think that that's true. I do believe that like, if you were like, if it was me and I was seated a few rows back, you would have done that to me. So looking at it from another angle, you're not, you aren't treating them any differently

than you would treat somebody that you know. And that's kind of my approach. Just like, I don't care how famous you are. I wanna talk to you because, yes I do. But I'm also gonna psych myself out. It's just like, I'm gonna treat you just like I would if you were my, you know, if you were my cuz or if you were my boy or if you were my friend.

Yeah, I mean- And so, yeah, I think in that sense, it's like, hey, we're- Honestly- Just mixing it up. I think this is the key and you tell me if this is true. I just did things without thinking about them. Is that how you live? Isn't that great?

Because that's how I found myself in that situation. I did not allow myself to think a second time about the choice. Right, just do, man. I told Jesse, I'm going to the doctor, got up and just went up there. Yeah. It just happened. And okay, so to put a button fly- Three of them. On this thing,

can you see your fly open on the red carpet photos? No, no, no, like if you're gonna, and this is one of the reasons that I didn't ever suspect that it was open, because most of the time you can kind of feel, you know what I'm saying? I'm not talking like you feel a breeze. I'm just saying that if things are not secure down there

with a zipper, a lot of times you know it. These pants apparently don't even need a zipper. Like it's completely, the sides of the zipper, the teeth of the zipper are laying on top of each other with they're not intertwined. So I picked the right pants to be able to have this story, have this experience without actually getting into an embarrassing situation.

So yeah, you can look at all the pictures on the red carpet, the fly is completely intact. You can wear these pants every time, keep them unzipped. Well, they're Navy. Knowing no one will see anything, but you can still go up to everyone that's more famous than you and have that fly down conversation.

You know, it's a level of vulnerability that says, you know what, I'm human and I'm here for you if you need to have a humorous interaction. And I was gonna go talk to, I talked to Greg Daniels for a while. Talked to Owen for a while. Did you unzip again? Nope, I was done with that. Okay.

But I was gonna go talk to the head of comedy at Amazon because he was there and I thought, oh, this is an opportunity to connect with this guy. Yeah. And then I was gonna tell him the zipper story, but I got caught up in some other conversations in the after-party and by the time I got around to going around, he was gone.

So, missed opportunity. I think you did the best thing you could have done. Everything else is gravy. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. All right.

Now that we've fully demonstrated that you are qualified to give advice, let's do it. Janet tweeted at us in response to our prompt of, hey, we're here to settle your ongoing arguments. I'm very serious when I say that this is one of the few things my boyfriend and I legitimately argue about. If a chicken is alive, is it raw? I say yes, a live chicken is raw because it's uncooked.

He says it's alive, not raw. Friends are 50-50 split. We need a definitive conclusion. Janet. This is a, how does one arrive at this argument? That's the most interesting part to me is how do you get to this point? This is a conversation I've never had.

Hey, look at that raw chicken over there at the petting zoo. Like, no, that chicken's not raw, that chicken's alive. You have to be dead to be raw. How could their friends be 50 50 split on this? Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. Just speaking for, on Janet's behalf. Don't you do it.

I think that technically, an alive chicken is a raw chicken, but that is not a logical way to describe a live chicken first. If a chicken is alive, we say it's alive. We don't say it's raw. But if you ask me the question, is it also raw? I'll be like, well, I guess.

I'm trying to think of an analogy where this, this is a miscategory. This is a misuse of categories. Well, no, it's just a misunderstanding of the definition of the word raw, which implies, if not specifically states, I can look it up if I have to, that a state of deadness. Like raw is in the context of being able to eat it.

I think if you were to look at the definition of raw, it would say uncooked meat. Are we gonna do this? Hold on, like your shoulder, your deltoid muscle right now is raw. No it's not. Yes it is. Is it cooked?

Raw and cooked are opposites. You know what, it has a one word definition, uncooked. Yeah that's what I'm saying. So when an egg comes out of a chicken. Or red and painful. Hold on, okay, perfect example. When an egg, the distinction that you're making is the fact that it's attached to a living being,

but a cooked egg and a raw egg, if an egg comes out of a chicken, it was raw when it was inside the chicken and it's raw when it lands in the nest. The definition, I was wrong, it says parentheses of food and then it says uncooked. So raw is a term that applies to food. Chickens are food.

No, chickens are animals. Dead chickens are food. If you eat a live chicken, you're like some sort of weird. I'm not saying it's moral. I'm not saying it's moral, but there are, I mean, there are people eat things like raw octopus, live octopus. See, here I am, live octopus. I don't support this. I'm not an advocate people who eat things like raw octopus, live octopus, see, here I am, live octopus. I don't support this.

I'm not an advocate of eating live things. The exception doesn't make the rule. Here's the thing. We ate- Like the raw tail can't wag the dog here. You ate a raw beetle. I'm not proud of that. But it was a live beetle.

Well, I'm saying we agree and we disagree. I'm saying that the technical term raw means uncooked. So yes, a live chicken is raw, but that is like only something that like a computer that didn't understand humanity would say. It's an unnecessary distinction that's secondary to the primary distinction of it being alive. And you know what?

In that case, it's misleading because most people would associate rawness with meat, which is detached and dead. So I agree with that, but I'm just saying that technically, you're raw right now and so am I. Is any of you cooked right now? I don't wanna say no because I don't wanna seem like I'm agreeing with you.

So your whole body is raw right now? It's uncooked, yes, but it's not raw. No, you're raw, and live chickens are raw. Now there's a Venn diagram. Like if you look up uncooked, it's not just gonna say raw. Like what's the definition of uncooked? Define. Oh, the definition is raw.

Raw and cooked are opposites. You could cook somebody alive. I feel- In the medieval times, they cooked people. You know what I'm saying? It's a punishment. Again, do I believe in it? No, but I'm not making a moral distinction.

So you're saying that you can have something alive and cooked? I can cook your arm. Ew. I can cook your arm. You see where Janet's got us, man? You cooking my arm? You could put your arm in an oven.

This is really a- And I could cook it. And I could eat it. See, what you're embodying- I wouldn't. But if you're like, hey, is that dude- You're embodying Janet right now. Is that dude's arm raw or cooked? I'd be like, well, I just cooked it. That's what this is about.

It was raw before I cooked it. Do you wanna be the type of person like Janet who Rhett is channeling right now? This is not a helpful thing, Janet. My advice, not that you were asking for it, you were asking about your argument. My advice to you, Janet, is that you drop this. This is not something-

It's only fun for you. Yeah, yeah, this isn't a hill to die on. You're not wrong, but you're also not right. You're arguing just to entertain yourself. Gotta admit, it's pretty fun though. It's gonna drive your boyfriend away. Hannah Lil John tweeted at us. My partner and I have had the same argument

throughout our decade long relationship. Is she a psychopath because she comes in from work and will not change into PJs until it's time for bed? I walk in the door and immediately start the process of getting into comfy PJs until it's time for bed, I walk in the door and immediately start the process of getting into comfy PJs. So Hannah is saying that her partner is a psychopath because she doesn't wear PJs around the house when she gets home from work.

Only when she's getting in the bed. I do not own pajamas. I think for the sake of this conversation, it includes coming home from work and putting on anything that is demonstrably more comfortable like sweat pants, a t-shirt. Like slippers? Yeah, well, I'm not saying slippers

cause I don't wanna bring into the whole shoe you wear shoes in your own house slippers because I don't want to bring into the whole should you wear shoes in your own house thing. I don't want to go there. That's not what this is about. What this is about is changing out of how you're presenting yourself to the work world in this case or the outside world. And then when you come home,

you want to get into more comfortable attire that is so comfortable you could in fact sleep in it. That's how I'm defining this argument. I'm expanding the scope a little bit because I think that's much more relatable to people. Because yeah, a lot of guys don't own PJs and I think I wanna include us in this experience. But are the pajamas raw?

Shut up. Hmm. Okay, dude. So yeah, there's plenty of times when it's like, I'll come home and I'll take off my jeans. I mean, we don't dress, we don't wear ties, we don't wear suits, I don't wear a pantsuit, I don't wear heels to work, you know?

Right. And I acknowledge that like, the more buttoned up you are, because even though I'm not, when I come home, I still have a desire to get more comfortable, especially after pandemic Link has been, you know, just walking around the house for a couple of years, right? So I definitely have this experience of,

I come home and I'm like hot and, if I'm hot, I might put on shorts or usually I'll put on sweatpants and I'll in a- What? You get home and put shorts on? If it like when it's the times when it's really hot, you know, sometimes the asphalt melts here in Burbank because it's like 110 degrees.

So I'm saying in an extreme case, I wanna get comfortable in that way. But yeah, my default is, oh, I'm gonna sit down and watch television. I'm gonna put on my pajama pants, which I don't sleep in. They're basically like sweatpants. Hold on, dude, you're all over the place. What's your argument?

Because I represent one end of the spectrum and that end of the spectrum is never in my entire adult life, I'm not counting as a kid because my- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just talk about now. Other people made the decisions. Have I ever changed clothes after getting home for any reason other than I have to then go to another event

or I'm gonna go on like a walk. You've never put on sweatpants, you've never gotten in more comfortable attire? Not once. Like taking off your boxer briefs and putting on some boxers and some sweatpants or some pajama pants? Never. Like lounge wear? I don't do that.

Well, you're missing out. Yeah, but I have two reasons. Number one, just my disposition is not, like I'm not a comfort seeker, right? So it's like, you know, I don't have a blanket. I don't, my couch isn't that comfortable. You're a masochist. It looks cool and it's much more about it looking cool.

And Jessie's the same way. We're not seeking comfort a lot. That's just my personality. Second thing is that, and I think this is scientific. I think that you actually need to signal to your body that it's time to go to sleep. And at that point, I just take my clothes off and have underwear on.

And then my body is like, this is how we sleep. And now we're psychologically like setting a cue to then move into the sleep cycle. As a side note, do you change your underwear before you go to bed? No. Huh. I've gotten a bad rep for wearing the same underwear for multiple days, but I never told the caveat

that like I wear, I change into pajama underwear every single night. Yeah, I mean, if I wear a sleeve- I wear boxers every night. If I take a shower at night. But I wear briefs, boxer briefs during the day. I don't have a shower routine. I take a shower at night every three days,

three to four days because I wash my hair every three to four days and I have to let it dry at night. And then other like five to six days of the week, I take a shower in the mornings. I don't have any routine. Okay. Other than the fact that I do not change clothes, I don't take my shoes off. You don't have any routine. Okay. Other than the fact that I do not change clothes. I don't take my shoes off.

You don't have skin in this game. I don't take my shoes off until I go to bed. Interesting. Okay. I wear my shoes until 1 a.m. if I'm watching TV, I don't take my shoes off. So. I'm not defending it, I'm just saying that's just,

does it cross my mind like, oh, my feet hurt, I need to take my shoes off. It's like that part of my brain never develops. So you don't, okay, because you don't relate, I definitely relate, but I disagree. So for me, having many days, especially if I have a tough day, again, it's like I seek that comfort

of like getting into something more cozy and then I'm just gonna sit down, we're gonna, and this is before dinner, yes. This is when I get home from work. If I have a really bad day. You put pajama pants on before dinner? If I've had a really bad day. But then typically, much more often, I would eat dinner

and then it's like, if we're, it's a couple hours before bedtime, we're gonna sit down and watch something on television. Survivor, of course. Then I'm gonna say, if we're, it's a couple hours before bedtime, we're gonna sit down and watch something on television, Survivor, of course. Then I'm gonna say, before we do, I gotta go get my Topo Chico and I'm gonna put on my boxers and PJs and I'm gonna get totally ready for this.

This optimizes the comfort of this experience and it's part of it for me. All of that being said, I do not think, first of all, being a psychopath has nothing to do with this and I don't wanna use that language. So Hannah, I'm leaving that out of it. But I do not think it's a good idea to make this a daily habit.

Because from my perspective, if I come home from work every day and I immediately slip into my most comfortable stuff, I'm not present, it's like I'm presenting my best self to the outside world, but then when I come home, I'm just like presenting just my most comfortable self, which is not my best self, not my most attractive self to Christy.

That's how I look at it for me. You don't have sexy PJs? I mean, I don't wear them, but if I was gonna start wearing them, they'd look good. I don't have sexy PJs. Now, if Hannah or Hannah's partner are coming home and putting on sexy PJs, then my argument is gone because- But that doesn't sound like the context.

Nope. I just think that you got, even on the weekend, you know, I like to put on clothes and like, try to look like me, look like the me that I wanna put out there. Like, so that, I like to get a compliment from Christy. Oh, I like that sweater. Oh, you're wearing a sweater on Saturday.

On the weekend, huh? Yeah, it's like- I only wear sweats on the weekend. And I'm not gonna fault you for that. But if you only wear, if you are only in PJs around your partner, then you're not giving them the best version of yourself. And I think they're, you know, it's like,

you wanna keep the sizzle alive, you know? You wanna keep that little going, you know? And that means putting your best foot forward, putting in the work. Now you don't have to do it constantly. You know, I'm not even gonna put a ratio on it, but I wanna put my best self out there for Christy so she remembers that this is what I do

is not just for other people, it's also for her and for me. You know, it affects my, how I feel about myself when I walk by a mirror, you know? So I feel strongly that you gotta take your partner's interest and attraction in mind and don't save your best for other people. That's what this means to me.

Okay, well, I mean, but if they're sexy PJs, that argument doesn't apply. That's true, but we know it's not. To me either way, the scientific argument applies that you may be screwing up your sleep cycle by signaling, by getting too comfortable before you actually go to sleep. If you can like set the intention

and make the transition apparel wise right around going to sleep, you might sleep better. Maybe. I mean, I'm reminded of the flight of the Concorde song, business time where he's like, but Wednesday's the night that we make love. It's like, and he makes a joke about like, oh, when you're in your sweat pants

and you're that team building t-shirt that you got at the corporate event or whatever the joke is. You know, it's like, yeah, that's what they're making fun of is just like, okay, you're not giving me your best self here. Yeah, which you know- Throw on my bone occasionally. There's a part of being in a long-term relationship

when you don't feel the pressure, but I get your point that there's a balance. What was the last thing that filled you with wonder that took you away from your desk or your car in traffic? Well, for us, and I'm going to guess for some of you, that thing is... Anime! Hi, I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President president and welcome to crunchy

roll presents the anime effect it's a weekly news show with the best celebrity guests and hot takes galore so join us every friday wherever you get your podcasts and watch full video episodes on crunchy roll or on the crunchy roll youtube channel this is an interesting one from Kit. I asked my boyfriend if he'd still love me if I was a worm. And his response is always, no, you'd be a worm. He says he'd still take care of me until the end of my wormy life, but he wouldn't love me. Whereas I tell him if he turned into a worm,

I'd still love him and make sure he was living his worm life to the fullest. I just don't see why me being a worm makes me incapable of being loved. Well, it makes you incapable of giving lots of type of love. Y'all crazy, man. This is wild. Man, now- Where you at on this?

The only way I can relate to this is there's definitely many times, especially as a kid, when I thought to myself, if I accidentally turned into a bug of some kind, how would I let my family know? Which is why you wrote that part of the I'm a thoughtful guy rap, where it was like, I think if I turn into an ant.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you start spelling out things that says I'm an ant. Yeah, it's in that rap. Yeah, that haunted me. That haunted me because I was like, how far could I get? And then like, they would see it written and then see an ant next to it.

And then they wouldn't just immediately think, oh, the ant wrote this. You have to see the ant doing it, but an ant moves so slowly that the chances that they see the process unfold. I just think basically if you turn into an ant, you're screwed. No one's ever gonna know that you happened.

You're gonna get killed. But if you did know, and let's go back to the worm thing, and let's, you know, earthworms aren't, let's say it's an inchworm, the cutest worm of all. Okay. You know, it's like, yeah, you would keep it in a terrarium and you'd say, yo, that used to be my partner. No, it's- But it's not,

that is my partner. That used to be my partner, now it's an inchworm and I'm loving it. We have a difference of opinion again, you know? I think it is your partner. Yeah, you're right. It is, that is my partner, but my partner's- My partner is a worm.

But my partner's now an inchworm. Do you love it? Well, yes, you know, in a different way. I still love it, but we don't get intimate anymore, for example. Well, we do, but it's different. It's basically reduced to tickling. I barely feel it.

Oh, wow. I think that you to tickling. I barely feel it. Oh, wow. I think that you can still communicate. You could come up with a communication method, but I think one of the first things, well, not the first thing, but ultimately, you'd wanna use that communication method to establish that, hey, I need human interaction, and I'm gonna, I'd like to find another human partner.

I'd like for you to find an Antworm partner. Here's the thing, and this is the thing I didn't take into account with the whole ant thing, is that when a person turns into an animal, they don't retain the human intuition and ability to process. I think that's baked in though. No, dude, we gotta be scientific about this.

When a person turns into a worm, they have the capacity of a worm. I don't know how the- Right. I don't know how your consciousness is translated from human to worm. This simplifies it. But like, it's like you can't take- That's not my partner anymore. Yeah, then it's now a worm.

I can't take a Nintendo cartridge and stick it in a toaster. You know what I'm saying? So if the brain is the Nintendo cartridge, you stick it into a toaster, the toaster's like, we do not know what to do with this other than melt it. So a worm is so simple that it's a special worm. It has sentimental value.

But the moment that a person turns into a worm, they no longer care about anything other than what a worm can care about. And a worm doesn't give a shit about a human. You know what I'm saying? Until they're dead and they try to eat them. I think I would put the, I'd build a little terrarium locket

and I'd carry around Christy in a, let's make this personal, inchworm Christy in a locket around my neck. Even after she died, I don't know how long worms live. No, not after she died. No, a dried insect? I wouldn't put in a locket, no. I would.

I want to enrich inchworm Christy's life by just bringing her around with me like she can hear conversation. You know what I would do? Of course, you're saying that the worm can't. I would keep her at home. After worm Jessie died, I put her into the bottom of the most expensive tequila

I could find, and then I would just drink her. Okay. That'd be it. Gather the kids around. But if she could communicate, that's when I think I would keep her in a locket and try to enrich her life as much as possible. If it was like the Disney version. But I would need to-

She could still talk and everything. Of course, at that point, we'd figure out ways to make it work. Right, yeah. Solve that one. Live your worm life to the fullest. Do we wanna get into this one? I'm kind of afraid of this one.

Yeah, why not? Let's get into a serious one. Okay. This is from Lizzie. I'm moving in with my boyfriend of four years this summer and my family does not believe it's a good idea. For reference, I was raised in the Christian Evangelistic Church,

how she puts it, and have since left. Any tips on how we can amicably move through this disagreement to hopefully land in at least a civil place? Coming from a background of very strong held beliefs on marriage and the correct order of events, I'd love to hear your opinions." Wow, Lizzie, thanks for putting this out there.

I feel like I need to preface this with, we haven't dealt with this with our own kids, but they're getting older and this will be something that I think that we'll have to tackle. But right now I'm just gonna be firing from the- Tackle? I'm gonna have to wrap my mind around how I'm gonna approach this, but I have,

like, it's not like Christy and I sit around and talk about what's gonna happen when Lily says that she wants to move in but not marry her partner first. Like, we haven't had that discussion. It's just not something that's come up in conversation. I mean, we got enough that we're parenting through right now, and it's like, that's the truth of parenting. If you try to look too far ahead,

you swerve off the road right here. You know, so I'm just making that point that like, I can't just sit down and say, oh, well, I've thought about this and this is what we've concluded. I'm shooting from the hip. Well, I mean, first of all, the- Are you? No, I've thought about of all, the- Are you? No, I've thought about it a little bit.

Okay. But- Have you and Jesse talked about this? Not this specifically, but I mean, I have a framework for how I think about these things. Okay, so we should establish that, yeah, in the same way that Lizzie's alluding to here, yeah, we've, we lived our entire lives thinking that I would never shack up was the phrase

with someone who I wasn't married to. And then when Christy and I started dating, yeah, it was never within the realm of possibility to even consider that. It was all, everything was baked into the experience of you get married, then you have sex, and also move in together. Right, which is kind of-

In that order, actually. Which is the point that, one thing to establish is that, I mean, I'm sure there are some exceptions, but in general, those two things go hand in hand. Believing that having premarital sex is wrong is the belief that not living together until you get married is predicated on, right?

That's really the only way that you get there. There's not, again, there could be exceptions, but the logic follows that we're not gonna live together, we're not gonna cohabitate, because cohabitation with romantic partners is probably also involving sexual intercourse until we can, you know, by our own standards, be intimate with one another.

So I kind of want to set aside, because I'm not an expert on like, well, I'm not an expert on many things and nothing that we talk about in this podcast, but I'm definitely not an expert on, or I don't we talk about in this podcast, but I'm definitely not an expert on, or I don't have like statistics, you know, at the ready. And I think a lot of statistics people, I mean, I wrote an article in the school paper,

the NC State school paper, because I had an opinion column in it. That's right. Or the NC State school paper. And I wrote a whole article about why, regardless of your religious tendencies, you shouldn't have premarital sex and you shouldn't move in with your partner

because statistics showed that people who waited to get married, waited to have sex when they got married and live together, live together longer or stay together more often. And people who cohabitated before marriage got divorced more often. And people who cohabitated before marriage got divorced more often. Now, again, when you're creating a persuasive argument in that way, a lot of times it's easy to find stats

that kind of support your thing. But from a logical perspective, it kind of makes sense that if you move in and live together, and then at some point later, you decide to get married, then you're kind of just sort of stamping a legal commitment on top of something that kind of already exists,

and maybe it doesn't feel, I don't know, I actually don't know what the statistics are. So I don't even want to get into what's actually a good idea and what's a bad idea. But just to present the other argument, which is obviously, well, there's so many benefits to cohabitating before you make a commitment or if you view them as sacred vows,

because you're testing the waters. For something that's so huge, like let's commit the rest of our lives to being together. Why don't we kind of ease into this a little bit? There's a reason there's a shallow end to pools. Yeah, and my point is that that whole argument about which is better is beside the point. Okay. Okay?

Like I'm not gonna tell you what's better and what's not better. I'm not even gonna tell my kids because the fact is, is that if my kids don't believe that they have to wait to have sex until they get married, which they don't because they don't have a religious framework where that would be the case. I'm not saying they don't have a sacred or view of sex.

I'm just saying they don't have the Christian view of sexuality. So they're almost assuredly going to live with somebody at some point, a partner, whether they're married yet or not. I think the thing in this situation is that you've got parents of adult children who believe that they should be doing something and continue to try to parent you

and give you advice. And this is especially difficult if you're in a situation where you were raised in a Christian home and you were kind of expected to live by Christian standards and now you're outside of that and you don't actually live according to those standards. That's not how you make decisions, but your adult parents still believe

that this is what's best for you. And let's not, this is not just a Christian phenomenon. This is any sort of phenomenon where the parents think something and there's a framework that the kids do not follow. I mean, it's much bigger than Christianity. And my take on that is that I think it is important to, if you have a good relationship with your parents

and you respect their wisdom, I think it, you know, they are another outlet of advice and guidance to some degree. But once you are an adult, they're not your parents in the same way. They should not be parenting you anymore. This is a very difficult thing for parents to do. Easier. This is a very difficult thing for parents to do. Easier said than done.

Very difficult thing for parents to do. But since you're not the parent and you're the child asking this question, I think the thing is, is that you have to say, I'm going to make the decision that I think is best for me. And again, that's based on your own convictions and research and whatever. And I'm not gonna tell you what's right

and what's wrong in that. You made the decision that's based on your own convictions and research and whatever. And I'm not gonna tell you what's right and what's wrong in that. You made the decision that's best for you. And then your parents have, you know, I'm not saying be disrespectful. You can be respectful in the way that you communicate that. But I think you have to set up a new mode, which is I'm an adult. I do the things that I think are best for me.

You are my parent, but you're no longer parenting me. You did parent me in the past, and now you're just my mom and my dad. We've got to set up a boundary where you're no longer telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't do. This is a really tough thing to do, but like- Yeah, I think, and there's a tough way to, it's tough to broach that conversation.

I mean, she's saying hopefully we land in a civil place where you can still have a relationship. I really hope that for you, Lizzie, that you still are able to have a relationship that is vibrant in other areas, you know, and you just got this, maybe there's a sore spot, but it's, yeah, I do think that there's a way to maybe disarm the conversation

and have more of a connecting, to still have a connection. I think there's open-ended questions that might can be worked into a heartfelt conversation, but this type of thing might require an appointment. Hey, I'd just love to sit down and talk about this where we can hear each other out. And it's the type of thing where you start to think about,

well, can I write a letter as like a preamble to a phone call or an in-person conversation. I don't disagree with that. Where it's like, you're saying things like, I love you, I know you love me, I know you want what's best for me. Do you expect me to do everything that you, the way you want me to do it?

Do you expect that to be how I live my life? I'm, maybe you'd be curious to know that answer. Do, is your love contingent on me making certain decisions that you agree with? You know, I think that's really what this is about. And then- Because what you don't want to get into is you don't want to engage in a way,

and this is a very difficult thing for a child to do, of any age, is for many of us, it's very difficult to get to a place where we can engage with our parents as if they don't have authority over us anymore. But they don't. Especially in a way that is still loving and respectful and you have an engaging conversation

and not a combative one. And now this gets very complicated if you are still financially dependent on your parents or if you work for your parents, if your parents are your boss, it gets really muddy. I'm not saying it can't work, it can work. But in those situations, it's really important to establish boundaries that, hey, dad, you might be my boss

but you're not my dad anymore in the sense that you don't parent me. And the moment that I, you know, when I'm- Yeah, and I wouldn't say it that way. No, no, but- You're not my dad anymore. No, no, but I'm not- But you being my dad is different. Yeah, and I wouldn't say it that way. No, no. But you're not my dad anymore. No, no, but I'm not- But you being my dad is different.

You don't dad me anymore in the same way. Yeah. I'm your employee now, and I am your adult son or daughter, but there's boundaries. We're just kind of talking about boundaries, and it sounds like what's happening is that these parents may not,

again, this is a very difficult thing to let go of. When your kid leaves this way of thinking about things what's happening is that these parents may not, again, this is a very difficult thing to let go of. When your kid leaves this way of thinking about things and starts making decisions that don't reflect your ideology and your religious convictions, you of course, it isn't just a difference of opinion, you actually think they're going down a path of darkness to destruction.

They're living according to the world. They're not doing what God wants them to do anymore. Right. I'm not saying this is easy. I will point out on the other side of this, you might jump to the conclusion that you would be rejected if you go through with something that your parents disagree with.

But it could go either way. It could be a tragic separation where there is rejection, but it could also, you could also be surprised that yes, even though they've taken a stance on paper, whenever their own child is going through something, it's an opportunity for your parents to adjust. Yeah. it's an opportunity for your parents to adjust. Yeah. So I think all hope is not lost,

even if they've demonstrated, maybe even with an older sibling or another sibling that this is gonna end poorly, it's gonna end in rejection. Maybe that's not the case. But if it does end up that way, it's like you have to, you've gotta make sure that you're protecting yourself and interacting with that as healthily as possible. So then the boundary conversation is more about that.

How do I move forward given that this is the stance that they've taken? Yeah, because ultimately you can't engage in a way that indicates or suggests that what they think and what they think you should do is actually going to be the determining factor in what you do do. That's the boundary that you're trying. The one do do. That's the boundary that you're trying-

The one determining factor. That's the boundary that you're setting up is that I'm an adult, I make decisions according to what I think is right. I will take your advice about things, but this is really, you have a religious perspective on this that I no longer hold,

so I don't have the same underlying motivation to make that decision. And then your parents have an opportunity to respond to that because you know what? They've got room to grow as well. Like you don't ever stop growing. You never start adjusting like you said. And so sometimes you have to make the difficult decision

and then put the ball on their court to have the mature response. And just because they're older doesn't mean they'll have a mature response. I'm not saying you and you shouldn't, I'm not saying you go into a situation like this, like a bull in a china shop and you just are like, screw it, I'm gonna do exactly what I want

and everybody can deal with it. You love your parents, I assume, they love you. You want it to be amicable and you said that's what you want. I do think there is a way there, but if you get to a civil place because you're sort of submitting to their authority and letting that still be a dynamic in your relationship, it's actually not gonna be a healthy thing long-term.

Hmm. Good luck with that, Lizzie. Thanks for sharing. I mean, do you wanna hit another one really quick? I think here's a quick one to shut things down. Padraig Payne tweeted at us, "'If you call shotgun to a car, "'but reenter the house once it's called,

"'are your shotgun privileges revoked?' Yes. Yes. Yes, because if you go to a restaurant where you order at the counter, then you get a number, then you get a seat and then they bring you the food or you wait at the counter until you get the food and then you get a seat. You do not come into the establishment

and then send somebody to get a seat and then go up and order. That's not the system. That ain't how this works. And that is not respectful to everyone else. There's a reason why there is a flow. There is a right way to do it. You know, I'm an Enneagram one,

and an industrial engineer. So to me, that's what this made me think of. There's a system to calling shotgun and you can't manipulate it selfishly. I'm gonna go out here, I'm gonna sit in the car. I'm just gonna be in the car until people come out to need to go somewhere. And then it's like, I'm calling shotgun.

Matter of fact, I'm already in it. But now that you're all here, I'm gonna go in the house and make you wait for me. And I was like, that's selfish. Well, and I think- No. And I don't even think- And by the way, it ain't worth it. I don't think Padraic is necessarily saying

that this person sat in the car. No, they didn't. I think it's like- It was hyperbole. It's like I could yell out the window as you're all going to the car, shotgun, and then just like stay in the house. First of all, I believe that shotgun can only be called

once everyone begins moving towards the vehicle. I might even go as far as to say, you can't call shotgun until you're outside, but I won't make that stipulation. I mean, some people play Uno that you keep drawing until you can lay something down. That's torturous. I don't know what the actual rules are,

but you know what, as a family, if you wanna change the rules, as long as you all agree on them, then I'm, and when I enter to your house, I'll play Uno by your rules. I think that you need to come up with that. But you need to agree. Hey, we all need to come up with that. But you need to agree. Hey, we all need to be exiting the house.

That's what it says, but reenter the house once it's called. So I'm in the yard. In order to start, you can't call shotgun until when. Until everyone's moving towards the vehicle. I'm not asking you what your rules are. Well, I'm telling Podrick what his rules should be. I'm telling Podrick that he and his pod need to come up with their rules.

Podrick. They probably need to be written. They probably need to be hammered onto the front door. I'm just talking about the universal rules of shotgun that I feel apply to all people. Once you're, yeah, you can't, but this is simple. You can't be moving towards the car calling shotgun just to go back in the house

because I demonstrated how that could quickly move into just being manipulated to absurdity. Yeah, a person who calls shotgun has to move with intention towards the physical representation of shotgun, which is being in the passenger seat after calling shotgun. This isn't a time for bathroom breaks, et cetera. This is a one motion.

The spirit of calling shotgun is that you're doing it as an act of then moving into sitting in the passenger seat. You're being, you're kind of being a Janet here. You know, you're being a type of person that if you keep this up, nobody's gonna wanna ride with you anywhere. Who's Janet? You know, from earlier in this podcast.

Oh, oh, yeah. Sorry, Janet, throwing you under the bus. You know, I'm gonna go get- I didn't say that, by the way. I'm gonna go get my PJs. Link said that, Janet, I didn't say that. Yeah. Okay, I have a rec real quick to wrap things up. Do it.

I'm surprised to hear that you didn't know about this website and that you also weren't the one responsible for it. Neil.fun. Like my last name,.fun? Uh-huh, uh-huh. So I don't even, I found this a long time ago. What?

It's just, it's some programmer who has a series of games. So read off, read off the games there? So like, let's settle this. Rocks, Ambient Chaos, 10 years ago. But like this, the size of space. So you click on the size of space and then you just go like this and it's like, let's settle this. Rocks, ambient chaos, 10 years ago. But like this, the size of space. So you click on the size of space and then you just go like this and it's like, oh, there's an astronaut.

There's a Hubble telescope. Oh, I've seen this for like the size of buildings, for the size of science fiction spaceships. So yeah, it kind of creates this timeline. Rocks, oh, there's just four rocks. This is just kind of like- This has nothing to do with size. Sitting on a toilet.

You've already solved Wordle for the day. Neil.fun? Yeah, Neil.fun. Huh. It's just a lot of- My namesake. It's just a lot of fun to have it. Neil.fun, not a sponsor.

I think you can like donate at the bottom of it maybe. I think he says like, yeah, buy me a coffee. You click on buy me a coffee. Oh, you can just- Oh, his first name is Neil. Well, too bad. Neil Agarwal. Oh, so I guess he has like a Patreon or something.

But it's powered by buy me a coffee. So it's like his version of that. I don't really understand, but Neil.fun. Neil, Rhett's not gonna join your Patreon, but he is promoting your- Oh, just look at this. Maybe other people will. Paper, you have a piece of paper,

and then you fold it once. It's the thickness of a human hair. Fold it again. Width of a grain of sand. Boom, boom, boom. Width of a what? A grain of sand? And look at this.

Width of a penny, width of a hummingbird. And after like- Oh, width of a Volkswagen? I'm folded this piece of paper. Now it's taller than the Eiffel Tower. Whoa, 25 folds. Now it's deeper than the Mariana Trench. Now it's bigger than the Rhode Island.

That's just 30 folds. I mean, there's just so much fun to be had at neil.fun. All right. And there's so much fun to be had here next week where we're gonna speak at you again. But in the meantime, hashtag Ear Biscuits. Let us know if you disagree with anything that we've said, if that's even possible.