Ear Biscuits with Rhett & Link - Why Rhett’s Eyes Are Always So Red | Ear Biscuits Ep. 446

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Well, well, well… someone didn’t take our advice and things backfired. In this episode, Rhett & Link hear from a repeat caller on a situation that only got worse, figure out the perfect strip theme songs for themselves, and we finally get to the bottom of why Rhett’s eyes are always so red. Get 50% off a lifetime membership at https://rosettastone.com/ear Open up a Chime checking account at https://www.chime.com/ear Get 10% off your first month at https://betterhelp.com/ear Get the perfect gift at https://etsy.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we are going to follow up with someone who did not take our advice and is now dealing with the repercussions. So you're gonna learn.

You gotta listen to your boys. It ain't no way out for you, huh? Also, you're going to learn what songs we would strip to or someone would strip to on our behalf. No, no, no. A professional stripper. Yeah, a professional stripper is going to strip to songs that are representative of us. We'll tell you what those songs are gonna be.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And more. But I have to know about your eye problem. I finally get to talk to you and share some visuals that I have been so wanting to share with you. You've been personally teasing this to me. He's been saying that... You're not gonna be able to take it.

You're not gonna be able to take it. You might have to take a break. I'm just gonna tell you, you might have to take a break. And if you're watching, you might need to take a break. Well, you know, we'll be in circles, and it'll be bigger than the two of us. There'll be other people there. We have many circles. We have be walking, we have friends,

we have acquaintances, we have coworkers, we have other people that we see when we're together, and you have to talk to these people about things that you're not ready to talk to me about. Well, I don't have to, but I choose to. Yeah, I know you'd just rather talk to me only all the time. That's what people would like to believe. You would like to be the third wheel in my relationship?

That's another thing we're gonna talk about. Anyway, this eye, your eye problem and your eye treatments have been something that has trickled out, that I've heard bits and pieces from other people. But you told me that you had video, and then a couple of times... I've shown the video. Back when we were in New York, you were walking down the street, and I looked back, I could hear a little bit of something,

I proceeded to look, I've got a video, and then you're showing somebody. I think it was Christy. Christy loved it. Christy is into gross videos. And so you're showing it to her, and I just kept walking ahead. Okay. But you need to give all the context here. Yeah, so I've talked about this a little bit.

I have red eyes, you probably noticed this. This is the time to clear up a lot of misconceptions. Well, yeah. So I have always, like since I was a kid, had what I thought were just sensitive eyes, eyes that got red, right? And as I got older, more and more of the time they were red and then when you start making videos for a living where you put your face on a camera,

it really amplifies how red your eyes are and I started noticing people would talk about it, like, oh, Rhett looks tired, Rhett looks high, whatever. And I was like, oh man, maybe I should do something about this. So what I started doing many years ago, probably 10 years ago, is more often than not when we were shooting a video,

I would put some Visine in. Now, everybody knows, I guess everybody knows, you're not supposed to, like, this isn't something you're supposed to do on a regular basis. I didn't know that. Well, so basically- Vizin just takes the red out. It's a vasoconstrictor, so it takes the blood vessels

in your eyes and it constricts them. And so, because what the redness in your eyes is from inflammation, right? Gotcha. From the blood going to them. But these vasoconstrictors work in such a way that they have a rebound effect. So that it helps a little bit, but especially if you use them for multiple days in a row,

the problem becomes worse than it was to begin with. And not to mention, it's actually not helping the problem that's making your eyes red to begin with. It's probably exacerbating the problem. Does that make sense? And then you started using more intense drops, right? So thank God for Lumify, not a sponsor, but you probably have seen these.

They've got the purple cap on them and apparently they work on a different receptor. It's still a vasoconstrictor, but the claim is doesn't have the rebound effect. So I started using those whenever they came out, like five, six years ago. Now they're crazy, they make your eyes like super, super white, but-

And you didn't use it all the time, right? You would use it kind of sparingly. But over the years, I got to a place where I would not go out on a date, I would not show up at anything where there was gonna be any people. Definitely anytime I was on camera, I'm putting one drop in each eye.

Now, again, these don't have the rebound effect, but they've got like a preservative in them. They're supposed to come out with a preservative free version, but I would notice that my eyes were irritated. They looked white, but they were irritated and they were like kind of scratchy. Five years ago, right around the same time I started using Lumify, I went to an eye doctor,

pre-pandemic, and he looked at him and was like, yes, you have red eyes. And he was like, you might have allergies. Okay. And so we did an allergy test. I was mildly allergic to cats and dogs, but not to any degree that was actually, I thought that may be what it was,

but I was like, I'm not gonna get rid of my dogs. Yeah, because then you started talking about how you're mildly allergic to your own pets and you started taking allergy medication. That was unrelated. I was taking allergy medicine because of seasonal allergies. Okay, all right, all right.

I actually don't think I'm noticeably allergic to my pets. And I'll explain why in a second. So more years passed, I ended up using these drops all the time, but, and you might be able to see this, but like if you watch some episodes of GMM, sometimes my eyes will look really red anyway. And what was happening is by the end of the day,

my eyes were so irritated. Like I showed you that video, I brought up that short of me laughing really hard and like my lids swallowing on the top and the bottom and very red. It was just a TikTok video that someone was passing around. Yeah, and I was laughing and laughing to the point of crying so that really did it.

But you didn't. It didn't look normal. You didn't look. It looked bad. Healthy in the eyes. So this year I was like, I gotta see, I gotta talk to somebody and I need to go to a doctor who specializes in dry eye, not just an eye doctor who's gonna be like, you might have allergies. We live in Los Angeles. We have access to so many things. If you have the idea to just all of a sudden access some sort of person.

Pretty good, Link, pretty good. Anybody who you would want to do anything to you, you can find it in LA. Good or bad. Unless it involves stem cells. Then you gotta go to, I don't know, a different country. You gotta go to Morocco or something. You can, well, maybe Costa Rica.

Costa Rica. Costa Rica. But, so I find Dr. Solani in Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills Optometry. Beverly Hills. Dry eye center. Now when I start Googling about like dry eye symptoms or whatever, all of a sudden I'm like, oh, this is a guy who specializes in dry eyes.

I mean, he can do other, he's an eye doctor, he can do other things, but like, he has created an office that is totally focused on dry eyes. Now, I was like, I've always. It sounds like you're saying dry eyes, but I just wanna make sure. Dry eyes is a great business. Don't touch dry eyes.

But I'm not talking about that, it doesn't help your eyes. With your tongue. And the fact that this guy was focused, I didn't think I had dry eyes, but I started redditing. You go on the Reddit threads and of course, there's a whole dry eye subreddit. And everyone's saying about their symptoms and stuff and I'm like, well, maybe I do have dry eyes.

I just never thought my eyes were dry. I just was like, my eyes are red and inflamed. So I go to my initial appointment and they hooked me up to all these machines that like measure your tear film, how long your tears, how long the film of your tears is on your eyes, and then also the makeup of your tear film

and then the inflammation and they look at your cornea to see whether or not it's irritated and let me just say, it was all bad news for the Redster. That's me. Is it? I'm talking about myself in 30%. I'm gonna ask this now so we don't have to come back to it later.

Is this covered by insurance or is this like, this is like super special? It is, actually I talked to Dr. Solani about this in my last visit, cause I was like, you know, I told him when I got through my four initial treatments, which was the package that I got that I was gonna talk about it on the podcast.

But I was asking about insurance and he was like, he kind of, I can't really remember everything he said, but basically the process by which something becomes covered by insurance, it takes a long time. And a lot of these treatments are very new and are still under study and, you know. So they're basically conducting eye experiments on rich people. Yeah, well, and people who are desperate.

Let me just say, I am blessed with the money to be able to pay for these things, but there's a lot of people who are just desperate because this can be a debilitating problem. And I totally understand the whole not covered by insurance and kind of being on the cutting edge. Like when Christy went through her brain injury after a year plus, two years plus of trying to figure out a way forward

or a way to move past it, yeah, the desperation really kicks in and you start, you get a lot more open to things, including spending more money than you, for some people have, which is a difficult, it's difficult. And there's not a lot of doctors, eye doctors, who focus on this and also have the equipment that he has. So he has people fly in from all over the country.

Beverly Hills, baby. Because people are desperate. It can be something that when every time somebody looks at you, the thing that they're thinking about is how red your eyes are. That's not cool, man. It's not cool, right? Now, you could do the thing where you just wear

the tinted glasses, like Bono, which you did a little bit of. And I have started doing, especially after one of my treatments when my eyes are really inflamed like I did the other day. But that's cool, though. That would have been another route. Well, I am going to be relying on that from time to time. Okay.

Because the treatments will continue. But let me get into what he did. Okay, so back to your regular schedule. So basically, my diagnosis was that my tear film, especially on my left eye, which my left eye has always been more red than my right eye, evaporates almost instantaneously,

which is not supposed to do that. You're supposed to have like a coverage of protection on your cornea for many seconds. I don't know how many, what's normal, but mine's not normal, especially the left one. And then you blink and it like recoats. So two things happen. cornea for many seconds. I don't know how many, what's normal, but mine's not normal, especially the left one. And then you blink and it like recoats. So two things happen.

This is something else that I learned is that you have tear ducts that are releasing like, you know, tears into your eyes. But then all along each of your eyelids, you have myobomium glands, which are glands that secrete oils. And the whole magic that is happening in your eyes is that you've got tears and oil that's mixing together.

And of course, when the oil is into the tear film, that makes it last and it doesn't evaporate immediately, right, because it's got this oil consistency. So what he did is he looked at me and he was like, your tear film's horrible, especially on the left eye. And then he was like, look at your cornea, especially on the left eye. And then he was like, look at your cornea, especially on the left eye. And he had done some imaging thing

where it basically looked like a monochromatic image. And there were scratches on the surface of my left eye. And he said, imagine someone's washing a window and there's no lubrication on it. And they're just like taking like rocks and like, that's what's happening every time you blink. Oh, your eyelid is a window washer. Yeah. Just dry, just raw dogging.

You have stuff constantly getting into your eyes, but most people are flushing it out with their tears and it's lubricated, but if your eye is dry, then that's not happening. And then he said, so what you also have, and one of the reasons that all this stuff is contributing to your tear film, is that you have myibomium gland dysfunction,

which means that myibomium glands are not functioning. Myibomium, my myibomium glands are not functioning. They're not really producing oil. Hey, Ear Biscuit Listener, Etsy knows what kind of holiday gifting reactions you're looking for this year. You want squeals of delight, happy tears, and spontaneously written songs of joy, right? Mm-hmm.

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And together we have the podcast Office Ladies. Just because we finished rewatching The Office does not mean we're going anywhere. Every Wednesday we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from The Office and our friendship with brand new guests. Plus, you can revisit all The Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode.

So follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. I am the king of obscure, like semi-consequential, but not life-threatening medical problems. Okay. I don't know. Nagging maladies?

Yeah, just like little things. They really add up. So anyway, did I say ocular rosacea? Yeah, now normal rosacea is on the skin, I thought. Yeah, so rosacea I think is just sort of a broad term for inflammation. Okay. So what it means when you have ocular rosacea I think is just sort of a broad term for inflammation. Okay. So what it means when you have ocular rosacea

is that the tissues around and in the eye also suffer from inflammation that can be triggered by anything that causes inflammation. It's different for different people. It might be spicy food or coffee or chocolate, all the things that we love, me being me in this case. So anyway, he's like, so you had these issues and the first thing was, I don't know,

if you haven't had a lot of medical maladies, this is maybe you won't relate to this, but if you had, you will understand this. There's something about talking to a medical professional, like when these diagnoses as I was getting them, like was like a weight being lifted off of me. Because when you go to a doctor and he's like, well, you might be allergic to something.

And he doesn't even really look at your eyes, which is this is the reaction that so many people get from eye doctors when they're talking about dry eye, because it's just like, they're not educated on it and they don't have anything, they're not interested in treating it or I don't know what their deal is. But when you go and they confirm your suspicion like, oh, you do have a problem.

This isn't just you're being sensitive about this, but you have a legitimate problem and here are the, these are the symptoms you're having and these are the causes. And by the way, so first of all, that's a great feeling. The second thing is, and we can do stuff about it. Yeah, what I hear you saying is that it's easy to treat symptoms.

Just throw drops in your dry eyes, but not getting to the root cause has bothers you. I'm saying that, but I'm saying that many people who feel like there's something wrong, they go to a doctor and the doctor doesn't really confirm their suspicions. And I know- Doesn't know enough.

Hypochondriacs like me, that can be a problem and you don't need everything confirmed sometimes. But when you know that you've got a legitimate problem, it's like, oh yeah, your left eye is worse than your right eye because of this specific reason. Let me show you some images to confirm that. Like that's a reassuring feeling because you feel like now you can begin a journey

to actually take care of it. Well let me tell you a little bit about that journey and show you some stuff. He also said that your eyes didn't close all the way. I heard you say that. No, so I told him that. Because I was like, you know, I think one of the reasons my left eye might be worse than my right eye is that

I have observed. It's bigger. Sometimes in videos, when I blink, the left eye won't completely close, which again, very common problem. Like a lot of people, not anything you would ever notice, but when you watch them blink, one eye's not quite getting all the way there.

And then maybe when they're sleeping, one eye isn't totally closed. So- Creepy. I suspect that that's happening. And crusty too. With my, I never really had, don't have any crust. Never, I don't have sleep in the eye.

Maybe I need to. Is your left eye bigger than your right eye or is your left eyelid shorter than your right eyelid? I haven't had that measured or diagnosed. You need to figure that out. But there's really nothing you can do about that and there is a surgery for getting your eyes put further back in your head,

but I'm not a candidate for that. I need to out it. My eyes are so deep in my head. It's not a problem for me. You can't see them. You can't see my eyes at all right now when I put my eyebrows down. So here's the thing that we did. He said, I'm gonna put you on,

and he said, we could start today, day one, while I was there. He was like, we can go ahead and do all the things that I'm recommending. And this is where the fun starts. So the first thing he did was... Because you were like, go for it. Yeah, I was like, I don't live close to Beverly Hills.

I'm very busy. I'm here. Let's do everything you're willing to do right now. And so the first thing he did was he put these metal guards into my eyes. What? What the hell? What? What? Are you telli... So he gave you... What? He gave you a full contact lens that's made out of metal

that went under your eyelids. That has a rod coming out of it and then he got into the picture. Oh my god. How did you even know that he was taking a picture? You can't see through that, right? No, it's metal. Because I said I want to take pictures of this, because I'm going to talk about it on my podcast.

What in the shit, crap, oh my god. Like, I can't, hold on, I'm not done looking at this. Okay, well if it's, you're gonna go this slowly with every little piece of this, it's gonna take forever. It's like he's put a metal cloche completely covering your entire eyeball. How did that feel? Well he puts deadening drops,

like numbing drops into your eyes first. Now first of all, you've worn contacts and you've also worn full sclera contacts. But it didn't have like a metal rod coming off of the front of it. Honestly, it was fine. Okay. He puts these drops in your eyes

so that your eyeball gets numb. Okay. So then the reason he did this is because he's about to shielding my eyes from this intense pulsating light treatment. Now, this is a treatment that people get done for like wrinkles and stuff like that. Like you can get, they put this gel on your face

and then like, it's like a laser, but it's incredibly pulsed light. It's not like one of those lasers that's like taking off a surface of skin. It's stimulating the skin. It's like shocking the skin and it hurts like hell. But not that bad. And again, I was like- Just on your eyelids or the edge of your eyelids? No, so he goes all around the eyes and then he turns it way down and goes on the eyelids.

And the idea here is that when you do this, you're stimulating all of the tissues here because he's trying to get these glands activated so they'll start pumping out oil and doing their job because that's a big part of my problem. So he does that and it was a little shocking literally and I was like, okay, this is a lot, this is a lot, but not really given the fact that I'm willing to go through whatever to solve the problem.

So then the second thing. Were you whimpering? No, I was not whimpering, not yet. Then the second thing is he does, is he takes something that's very similar to those metal things, but they feel like they're rubber or plastic, and then they have a tube that's coming out of them, and you have to tape them to your eye.

Oh my God, Rhett. So this is called Lipaflow, I think that's the name of it, and essentially what he's about to do is he's about to heat my eyeballs. He's gonna melt your eyeballs, man. Yeah, he's cooking my eyeballs a little bit. With liquid coming out of those tubes? No, no, it's just they're grabbing onto my,

they grab onto your eyeballs and it hooks up to this machine and then for like 12 minutes, the machine is like doing, like making noises and stuff and you feel your eyeballs and your eye sockets getting warm, and it's just like the things are like moving, like pulsating in different patterns. Damn. And again, this is to get everything flowing.

So then, once he had done that, he said, okay, now what we're gonna do is we're going to express your glands. Your myobomium glands. Okay, self-expression, I champion that, but like, doctor-assisted expression of any gland, I'm wary. So, again, all along your eyelid, top and bottom, you've got these little glands.

Now let me just tell you what is supposed to happen, what probably happens in your eyes. If you were to grab ahold of your eyelid with some forceps that are specially made for this and squeeze on your eyelids, you would see oil come out of them, the consistency of olive oil. Okay, wow.

Okay. Let's watch what happens when you do this to me. I wouldn't wanna see that happen to anybody. Let's see what happens when you do it to me. So with one hand he's filming you, with the other hand he's squeezing your eyelid? He's got a machine that films. I'm hooked up to this thing where my chin is in this thing

and there's a camera and so he doesn't have to think about filming it. Okay, good. Okay, so here he goes. What? Is this the? Okay, just watch. You see how it goes?

Oh my God! Oh. Now watch. It's just gross. Oh! It zits! It's, oh my gosh. Yeah, like, it's like toothpaste coming out.

Puss worms coming out of your. It's like Dr. Pimple Popper. Oh my god! It just keeps going, it just keeps happening. Ooh, and he's just grabbing... Ooh! Oh my god! Look, more, more.

Ooh! Yeah. What, it's just... It's just they're clogged. There is like oil and dead shit. I don't know what it is. Look, look at all these, look at all these. Look at all these. Look at all these.

Oh, worms! Dude! I am sorry. Oh my god. Then I'm watching this. Okay. So, good news and bad news, Link. He did that all around the perimeter of the eye. Bottom and the top. And the bottoms were worse than the tops. And the bottoms were worse than the tops in terms of pain or in terms of pus? Oh, I didn't talk about the pain. Yeah, because did he warn you?

And how much did it hurt? Uh, I often, I don't want to scare people away from this because it's, I actually, when I have an appointment, I like get excited about it. I look forward to it because it's so, it's effective and I'll explain that in a second. But when your glands are clogged like mine, it hurts. He was like, it's also not really supposed to hurt. Like if you were to do that to your eyes,

it would be, you know, it's not comfortable to have somebody grab your eyelids with forceps, but the tenderness and the pain is actually related to the dysfunction of the glands as well. So I kind of felt like I was gonna vomit. And me too right now. Like as he was doing it, I was like, ooh, I gotta tell him to stop, ooh,

but I was like, no matter how bad pain gets in medical situations, I never raise my hand or tap out, I don't know, so it's too prideful. Like if I get a massage and somebody is, I'll go, huh, before I'll say anything, you know what I mean? And so you did whimper. I was like, oh, I'd be like, damn.

You said you damn? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said damn. And he was like, oh, well, next time I can give you more of the... the numbing drops, which, honestly, he did that the next time, and it doesn't, like, your eyelids are not as impacted by that. Like, so... Well, what about a pill?

Well... What about Twilight? Well, that would be totally over the top and unnecessary. It's not that painful. It's just, in fact... You almost vomited in your own mouth because it hurts a bit? Well, I was just like, whoa,

I feel like I could throw up, but I didn't. And each time I've been, I've been four times. And the last time I went, which was last Friday, I was like, oh, this is much less painful now because it's actually beginning. He's saying that's progress. Well, he showed me, so there's no reason to watch it just because it's not as exciting as this.

Oh, less, it's more videos but less stuff's coming out? Instead of it being like a pussy snake coming out like this, and a lot of the glands now, it's just like a, sort of like it looks like a volcano full of yellow liquid kind of just like, so he said, these are the four stages. Healthy is oil comes out. Unhealthy is milky or yellow liquid comes out. More unhealthy is toothpaste comes out like me.

And then really unhealthy is nothing comes out because the glands have died and they are not producing anything. And he's like, you didn't come into me over time. Eventually the glands just will go, a lot of people have totally non-functioning myobomium glands and they're just dealing with dry eye all the time. And then they've got to just put drops in or whatever.

So. So you've been for three out of four sessions. No, I've been to all four. Oh, okay. So, and I'm not done. Just my case is moderate to severe. But let me just say. I don't feel good.

So I've been, I've done this four times probably. Did you see it, Jenna? I don't want, no thank you. No thank you. I've been four times probably over the past four months. And I also have a number of drops, and then I've got, you keep your eyelids washed in the morning and the night, and then there's hot compresses that you do throughout the week. There's a whole regimen that I'm on. But a combination

of all these things, for the past month, now you might look at my eyes and be like, well, they look the same, but that's because every single time you've ever seen me on camera in the past 10 years, I've had eye drops in. I haven't put eye drops in for five weeks for anything that we've shot. Oh. And you're feeling relieved

that now you're not causing any ulterior problems. And also I'm on the road to recovery, but beyond that, at the end of the day, my eyes feel good. So at the end of the day of shooting, anything that we've shot where I put these drops in, where I put the whitening drops in, my eyes just feel bad, because I wasn't doing anything to treat the problem.

I wasn't doing any lubricating drops or anything, my eyes would feel like sandpaper by the end of the day and then I would just go home and they would get super, super red at night. And then I would wake up the next day and they would look like, what has this man been through? And then I would get to work, put the drops in and then no one would notice.

But now I don't have to do that. Now there are certain circumstances maybe I'm having like an especially inflamed day or whatever when I could use the drops, but I can use them as needed. I mean, this is, I gotta say, I'm pretty freaking excited about this. Look at that.

And so now I'm going probably- Look, you're a middle-aged white man talking about a revolutionary medical procedure on a podcast. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm in an elite group. Every six weeks at this point, I am going to be going. And then there's a couple of-

Get that squeeze. There's a couple of more stages that we can get into. There's some probing that can be done, but my glands are actually responding, so. That's the story. It's a little long. Sorry for those of you. It was gross.

If you fast forwarded through all that and you're joining us now, welcome. You might've made someone's life better, besides your own. Yeah, so. By sharing this harrowing story. Yeah, and I will say, unfortunately, this stuff is, especially when you just do

every single thing that they're willing to do, this is exorbitantly expensive stuff, and it's unfortunate that, but it's all very, very new technology. There's only a few places that have this stuff. So my heart goes out to the people who are not in a position to do that. But I think that there's a lot of steps

between where I was and where I am right now, where you don't necessarily, there are people who can be like, like oh I'm just gonna start putting these lubricating drops in and I'm gonna start doing warm compresses there are lots of things you can do without necessarily doing the expensive squeeze treatments that will help your eyes a whole lot I was doing nothing except treating the cosmetic issue and just making the problem worse. Mmm. You feel empowered. You feel like your own advocate. except treating the cosmetic issue and just making the problem worse. Mm.

You feel empowered. You feel like your own advocate. That's good. Sure. I'm tired. So thank you to Dr. Solani for all the help that he has brought. Wow. And do you have a new friendship too?

Yes. You gonna play golf with him? That's what you do with like Beverly Hills doctors. Um, no, I don't know if he's a golfer. Oh God, really? I can tell by the way he was gripping and squeezing those eyelids. We have good conversations while he's sitting there squeezing all my eyelids. You know, if somebody's gonna sit there and squeeze on your eyelids, you might as well get to know him.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You might as well get to know them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But you might as well get to liking it. Yeah. You could also get to liking Good Mythical Weekend every Saturday. I just wanna give a little plug here. Well, last Saturday and the next two Saturdays, we're doing a short little run of Good Mythical Weekend. We did it over the summer, so like, this is when the crew lets loose.

We let them play highly formatted games and just have a good time. It's longer format, conversational gamesmanship amongst funny friends. That's what happens on Good Mythical Weekend. Check out last Saturdays and the next two Saturdays as this comes out. So, let's get to a voicemail, let's hear it. Hi, Rhett and Link, my name's Jessie and I'm from Michigan and I need your advice as to how best to convince my sister and her fiance that the three of us should live together forever.

Because I don't like living alone, but I'm also not in the market for a partner. And the sound of a triple income household sounds quite nice. Any help is appreciated. Thank you. Hmm. Third wheeling permanently in a relationship. Interesting. I mean, I guess from her perspective, she's got like a good enough relationship with both her brother-in-law and her sister

to like wanna live with them, you know? Oh, I thought, do you have the courage to ask for this? We don't, this is all coming from her perspective. We don't necessarily know. If they feel the same way about her. Right, but let's just assume that this is not, I mean this is someone who chooses, who's made one incredible life choice

to listen to this podcast. Right, that's a positive. It's a great indication that maybe you're not an idiot. You know? Right. You're thoughtful, well-rounded, independent in the places that you need to be, adult. Self-aware enough to know that this is not an outlandish request, but self-aware enough

to know that you might need our help in order to make it happen. Yep, because it's a little bit weird. You know, it's a little bit weird. Well, it's not unprecedented. And might I just say that, you know, multi-family, what are you, I don't know what, there's multi-generational housing.

Multi-generational homes, yeah. Right, this is the norm for most of humanity. This whole idea that we would all have our little spaces where our little nuclear families, that's a pretty new idea. We're still working on it. We're still trying it out. You know, I feel like it's going okay for me,

but I will say that we're not nearly as connected with our families as most other cultures are. Even when we call something a mother-in-law suite, what we mean by that in real estate terms is a separate apartment so that whoever's living there, let's just say that hypothetically they're a mother-in-law. Have you gone into real estate?

They, I'm, well. But you said we. Are you doing some on the side? I thought I saw you on a sign. I know the world of real estate. At any moment I could get a real estate license. I thought I saw you on the, at the bus stop. Everybody thinks they I could get a real estate license. I thought I saw you on the... Along with everybody else. ...at the bus stop. Everybody thinks they can just get a real estate license. On the bench.

But no, that wasn't me. Oh, okay. I don't have bench ads. I don't have a license. Okay. I just have the belief that at any moment I can get one, which is a common belief, held by people who aren't yet real estate agents. Right, yep. Mother-in-law suite is completely independent.

You got everything that you need so that you don't have to technically ever see the mother-in-law. Kitchens in there? Kitchens in there. That's a mother-in-law suite. A bona fide mother-in-law suite has a kitchen and a bathroom and separate entrance.

Separate entrance. Wow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So a sister-in-law suite could be the same thing from his perspective. And so... Let's assume that that's not the situation that's being proposed.

That's gonna make it easy. Let's assume that there's one kitchen in this home. If you're willing to pay for a separate entrance, even though you're sharing a kitchen, like you find your own way in and your own way out, I think that's what you, you need to have a semblance of separation. And maybe that's just a door that you didn't really need,

but I think it's worth it to invest in that. A new door into your bedroom that you pay for. Yeah, you pay for that. So you can go in and out without having to walk in that. A new door into your bedroom that you pay for. Yeah, you pay for that. So you can go in and out without having to walk through anybody. And it doesn't have to be a normal size door. It could be a little door. It could be a doggy size door.

Right. As long as you can get in and out of it. Yep. Matter of fact. Because we don't wanna do too much construction. If your sister and brother-in-law can't get through the door, that may be better. Honestly, it could just be the window.

No, but you need to make a statement. And you need to put a door in. But you could build a nice set of steps to the window. So make the- Okay, all right. You find the window- Yes, you can build steps to your window. You make a porch at your window. So you walk up and then you get into a somersault position

and roll into the house. Yeah. You know, you're gonna have to figure out how to lock it. I mean, hatch on the roof could also work with like some sort of a ladder. Hatches on the roof are notorious for leaking. Yep, you gotta be. You can never seal them. So we're not recommending the hatch on the roof,

really hard to seal. And maybe you need, I think you've gotta treat your room like a college dorm room in that- You gotta have a microwave in there. Mini fridge, microwave, toaster oven, air fryer? I don't know how crazy this needs to get, but- Call the fire authorities for this part of it.

What you have to do is you have to convince them that there is a scenario in which they would never see you because they need to know that that's an option. Right. Now you might get along, you might watch movies together and they might be the kind of people who, who just sort of let that happen, but slowly let resentment build.

And so you have to meter yourself out. And so you basically need to be like a thief in the night for, you need to be able to- But don't steal from your sister. Definitely don't do that. I have a grounded and, you know, a lifelong perspective on this, having observed it secondhand

and talked to my mother who observed this firsthand. My mom grew up in a house with both of her parents, Clyde and Lucille, that's my nanny and papa. But from, I believe it was early high school, it might've been late middle school for my mom. Nanny's youngest sister, my Aunt Vicky, moved into the house with them. Now she was single.

She passed away a few years ago. Nanny had passed away a few years before that. Did she have an air fryer? They did not have an air fryer. So Nanny was the oldest sister of, I believe it's nine siblings, and Vicky was the youngest. So they were many years apart. Yes. In fact, my mom and Vicky were pretty close in age.

Closer than your then- Much closer. ...sister, yeah. To the point where, so I mean, there was a child in this situation. My mom lived upstairs in the house, and in the back bedroom, nanny and papa, they had the separate beds thing.

So it's just another data point, actually, for this story. I don't know exactly how, but they had separate twin beds on either side of the room. And it's a very common thing amongst older people, I think. It's becoming more common. It's becoming more common again. And they were still in the same room though, which I thought was nice. Vicki had her own room on the other

side of the house, but they shared not only the kitchen, but they also shared a bathroom. Who shared the bathroom? Everybody. There was one bathroom in the house? One bathroom in the house. Oh my Lord. Yes. And Nanny never drove. She never learned how to drive a car after when she was, when she first took a lesson,

ironically from my mom's second husband's mom's car. She drove the car, she tried to pull it out of the barn but instead of backing up, she drove forward through the barn, busted through the barn, and never drove a car again for the rest of her life. So Aunt Vicki, people would drive her around. And Aunt Vicki and her were really tight. She'd drive her around everywhere that they went,

that like when my papa was working or didn't wanna go anywhere, the two of them could go and do stuff together. And in fact, they worked together at the same shirt manufacturing place. In Irwin. Shirt factory. In Lillington. Lillington. Across from Byrd's Drive-In over there where the-

Oh, where the splits. Called Red Cap now. Yeah, where it splits, where the Burger King is. She worked there, they both worked there their entire lives, like communing together, inspecting and folding shirts together, coming home together. And as far as I could tell, you know, she remained single her entire life.

And she just lived there her entire life. And she just lived there her entire life. I mean, fast forward to when my papa passed away in 1998. That was difficult, but it was mitigated by the fact that Nanny wasn't left alone. She had this sister that was, she was close to all of her sisters, but for them to be that close, it was nice. And then as Nanny started to age, Vicky took care of Nanny

on a moment-by-moment basis, all the way until she passed away at home during COVID. Right. So there were a lot of practical benefits to their bond. I never really got a handle on what my papa thought about it. Because like, from my youngest age, it was always like, I'm going to visit Nanny and Papa and Aunt Vicki will be there sometime. It was just the reality. They went to a different church.

Vicki went to a different church. So like, on Sundays when we visit, half the time Vicki wouldn't be there I wonder how that happened. So it was like they had some separation. That's an interesting choice But my mom and Vicki it was it was a difficult relationship between the two of them because when she was going into high school It was all of a sudden. There's my aunt lives with me, but she's close to my age It was like having another sister that, like my mom having a sister. Like almost like nanny had another grown daughter.

Right. So they had a strained relationship, I believe. Ever get in a fist fight? I don't think they ever got in a fist fight, no. But it was, you know, it was, I think there might have been some jealousy there that as mom was moving into this pivotal point in her life, growing up, thinking about going through graduation

of high school, moving out of the house, it was like, I mean, there was some shit to navigate, but I think that they just kinda made the best of it, the two of them. Right. It was a little bit of like, they weren't the closest because her and Nanny were so close. And I think that as mom moved out of the house, it felt a little, there might've been a little jealousy,

you know, that was part of the dynamic. Sharing one bathroom alone with your parents. Yeah. Is a source of conflict, but then you throw your aunt in there as well. So they made it work. They made it work, but it was a little bit different. Well, you raise a different, another aspect of this.

It's strange in relationships. You gotta be able to. Jessie. It might be, you might need to provide a service. So, because we're not talking about a kid yet. She didn't have, yeah. So Vicky's the chauffeur. She's, yep.

So that's an important, important necessary service. She would cook, she would clean, she would do stuff. Well, I think that it's a given. She was a contributing member of the household. It's a given that I think that if you are going to be the third wheel in this home, you actually have to have an outsized portion of the providing services to the home, I think. Like it has to be 33 plus percent. You gotta earn your keep, really. Because they're in a relationship

and the typical thing would be that they have their own place and you're having to talk them into it. I think one of the things is like, hey, not only am I going to build some steps up to the window and whatever your version of that is, but I'm going to do the following things to contribute. And they'll be like, okay, well, you know, it would be nice to have somebody do X, Y, and Z

so we don't have to do it. I think you have to offer some services. Yeah. Now the way that their house was laid out, Vicki could go in the door that they all went in and she could hang a right and go directly into her bedroom. And then on the other side of her bedroom, she could go out and go directly into the bathroom that was shared by everybody.

And then everybody else, when they walked in, instead of going right into her bedroom, you could walk to the left in the kitchen and then you could circle all the way around the house, go from the living room to the, you've been in there, to the bedroom to the bathroom. There were two doors into the bathroom? No, there was one door into the bathroom, but were two doors into Vicky's room. And the whole bottom of the house was a circle, basically.

There was no hallway, just a big circle. Okay. So it was, I don't know, I miss him. It worked for me being the grandchild, because I just had, having Aunt Vicky there was like almost having like another, a second nanny, like having a third grandma. Well, I think this is becoming more and more common.

Housing is not affordable. People are trying to find creative solutions. A lot of people have roommates. And of course, people in relationships were trying to bring in that double income, but yeah, just throw in a third person, and as long as you can make it work, and you've set your boundaries,

I just think that that, I think we've really done it with this. Bringing some services. Services and entrance and exit, we got this. You got this. But if you do it. But if you're gonna be. You better talk directly to your brother-in-law.

Don't just work through your sister. You got to establish a direct line of communication about this specifically. And you got to press hard to get verbal buy-in multiple times, three different occasions, at least you have to break up in this conversation with him and get the same response three times.

You gotta press hard for a different response to certify this. And you gotta do the same with your sister too, but don't be working through your sister and hearing secondhand. Don't you be doing that. That's a bad idea. Because you're gonna have to have that level of open communication between the three of you if you're gonna share the space.

Yeah, you're gonna be smelling each other's poo-poo. Yep, nothing brings people together like that. [♪ You know what, I just wanna take a moment to give a shout out of thanks to my therapist. Thank you, my therapist, who I'm not gonna give the name of because I wanna keep that to myself. Okay. Along with everything that I share with my therapist. Thank you for being the type of person that I look forward to sharing things with

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That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash ear. Back in my 20s when I was starting my family and starting to think about purchasing things like a home. Yeah. That was when I found out about a little boo boo that was on my credit score that somehow you avoided. That apartment we lived in where we ended up writing our names in the bottom of the

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Boost are available to eligible CHIME members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply, go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Let's, we have a follow-up, right? Yes. On a previous situation. We do. Hey guys, this is Jamie.

I called a few weeks ago and got advice from you about how to handle my stepmom getting a job working in the school that I teach in. Yes. And so just to follow up, she got the job. She's in my building and she is regularly in my classroom wanting to hang out, or trying to hang out with me at lunch, or trying to text me about family stuff while I'm trying to teach. So, um, any follow-up advice? Please help. Thank you. Love you guys. Bye.

See, this is the one. You want our advice now that you didn't take our advice? What was our advice? Didn't we say not a, I remember it was good. We said to sabotage this, right? Right. Yeah, you guys said to not necessarily give great feedback or also to the boss. Not necessarily putting her down,

but just being like, eh, maybe don't hire her. Yeah. And then you guys also said to maybe talk to the stepmom and be like, maybe it's not the best that we work together. What's that so, what part of that was it brilliant? It was all brilliant. It was so all brilliant. But apparently not brilliant enough.

Maybe it was late. To be followed. Okay, well. I'm gonna assume that you didn't take the advice because by the time you listened to the podcast, she had already swooped in and gotten hired, and that's not on you. So we're willing to give more advice. You know what? That's a really good point, Link.

I don't know how much we've been thinking about the time that has elapsed. We're so selfless, we're gonna take this on ourselves. Okay, we'll fly out there. Where do you live? Here we go. We're gonna give you more brilliant advice to get her fired as soon as possible. I think what she's already done is grounds for firing. You know? Bothering you, like infringing on... I think you gotta go to the boss. I think you gotta go to the vice principal, whoever's, and you gotta say, this woman will not leave me alone.

Well, and any good boss is going to say, She's related to me by marriage. Yeah, any good boss is going to say, well, I think you should talk to her about it. Have you talked to her about it? So we have to go there first. Or you be like, why did you hire her? You know that we're related.

Now you're jeopardizing your own standing with the boss. You can't do that. Yeah, quit. You're just gonna have to quit. Listen, you're gonna have to start over somewhere else. I mean, this is very simple. I mean, mother-in-law, you know, there's gotta be separation.

Well, but now you're in a situation where, what I heard is happening is that she's coming into your class, she wants to hang out, she wants to get lunch together, and she's texting you about family stuff during the day. And so now, you really have to have that conversation. You really gotta have that conversation. I'm just trying to think of another way.

Is there a more fun way? All right, I got another idea. To push this to the side. I mean, yeah, you can just have a direct conversation. You can be adult about it, but. You could, all right, strap in, because this is not going to be easy. Good.

You're gonna have to fake your own death. There you go. But what you gotta do is you're gonna have to fake your own death. There you go. But what you gotta do is you're gonna have to talk to your administrator about this and tell them this is what you're gonna do. This is quite far. Yeah. I wasn't ready for this.

Okay, well I'm just saying, you're gonna fake your own death and then immediately become the substitute for yourself. What? Okay. You want any of your wig? Yeah. At least a wig.

You might need facial reconstruction surgery. And it just depends on how serious you are about this. The type of person that your mother-in-law doesn't like is who the type of person you need to start looking like. Yep. Yeah, yeah. So do some research about this. The type of person that your mother-in-law doesn't like is who the type of person you need to start looking like. Yep, yeah, yeah. So do some research about that. What are her biases? Right.

But you're gonna have to reinvent yourself. Unless you're willing to just have a conversation about boundaries, but if you're not willing to do that, you're gonna have to fake your own death, get other people to understand that it's still gonna be me, but I need y'all to call me Lurlene or whatever the new name is gonna be. Why doesn't, what if you went to your boss,

no, don't go to your boss. What if you went to your mother-in-law and you said, I've gotten feedback from the boss and they're saying that we're fraternizing too much. Like people are starting to talk about how we're related by marriage. And it's just not the type of thing that, that our boss wants to see.

Put it on the boss. But then she'll be- Oh my gosh, I don't wanna, I don't wanna jeopardize your job. But then she'll go and talk to the boss and then it would be caught for lying. Here's another thing you can do. There's a Pavlovian path here, which is you begin to-

Shock her. Any behavior that she is doing that you don't like what you do is you have some kind of response to not reinforce it but to disincentivize it. So one thing is, you might find something that you're allergic to, mildly allergic, but enough for you to break out in hives and maybe close your windpipe up just a little bit.

Not to the point of actually creating a serious emergency. So you gotta really dial this in. Maybe don't worry about impeding your breathing. Let's just go with hives. No wheezing. You could fake wheezing. Just break it out. I want you to begin,

maybe it's like a capsule of like ragweed or something like that that you keep in your gums. Like somebody who's going to court and has got cyanide just in case they get convicted and they try to kill themselves. Oh God. You got like ragweed up here. Okay.

Anytime she shows up, you bite it. And she's gonna get convinced that you're allergic to her. And she's gonna be like, every time I show up, my daughter-in-law or whatever the relationship is, I seem to cause problems and she will slowly retreat. You're gonna suffer for this, but it's not as bad as facial reconstruction surgery. No, it's not.

No, it's not. And it's not as bad as a direct conversation. Which must be avoided at all costs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's gonna hurt too bad. It's gonna hurt too bad. I mean, you could just avoid her. All right.

I would say my father kind of did that. Every time he'd have to take me shopping, he'd break out in hives. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Have to leave, we'd have to leave, yeah. Couldn't stand it. Going into stores, going into a mall,

breaking out in hives. It's tough because of all the fragrances. Fragrances. Yeah. I'm allergic to shopping as well. Yeah, yeah. I'm with him on that. I get so tired so quick.

I can be- You scratch hard enough, people think that you actually are breaking out. Yeah, yeah. Because you're like, well, you're all red now. There's ways to do it. There's ways to do it. Yeah. I mean, I love record shopping,

and I even still get this sensation when I'm record shopping that like, I can't do this anymore. And I'll like, I'll be going through a bin and instead of like looking at every record in the bin, I'll just kind of like, I'll just kind of like go five, ten, fifteen, just kind of like, just kind of, maybe I'll spot something. But what I've realized is that I'm only doing this for me. It's just like why, if I want to shop for records, you might as well look at every

single record, because skipping five accomplishes nothing, except getting through a bin quicker that you didn't find as much. And I have this internal dialogue a lot. It's like, why am I rushing through this bin so that I can say I got through it without seeing what was in it? Yeah, someone's judging you right now. Judging your shopping. Isn't that wild? But it's because I wanna feel like I looked

through everything that I came to look through, but I just can't take it anymore. Now I will say over the course of two days when Lando and I took a little trip to San Francisco for one night recently, we went to eight record shops in two days. That's a bit much. Yeah. So I did break through. I did break through. And you can break through too.

Next voicemail. Hi, Rhett. Hi, Link. My name is Maddie and I'm calling from Texas. So I am a pole dancer and a cosplayer and I like to bring those two things together sometimes. For example my last performance was a Las Vegas themed show and I was dressed as a sexy Chris Angel and I danced to Paralyzer by Finger Eleven because I felt like that really encapsulated Chris Angel's kind of aura.

So I was just curious, if I was ever to cosplay as one of you guys, what song do you think would be best to dance to? What would encapsulate you guys' aura? Thank you. So she's gonna dress up as us, but sexy stripper version, but she needs the right song. Can we just?

Where's, I just wanna understand the context for this. Like where is this, well, because as we've established, we've never been to a strip club. Oh, this is, okay, you don't know about this. Yay, I'll tell you. Is this on Twitch or something? No, no, this is like, there are pole dancing classes and lessons and actual competitions

outside of this strip club kind of world where they compete and do different cosplaying based on song choices and things, and they get points for creativity you know, creativity and skill. So there are pole dancing competitions that this sort of thing happens. I don't think they're stripping. They can, yeah, yeah.

There's still like an element of stripping involved in the shows. But not Nipples Out. I'd say, I think it depends on where the competition is, like what state. There's those rules about. What temperature the thermostat's set at. Yeah, yeah, definitely as well.

Yeah, but you're saying some pole dancing routines don't involve stripping at all. Correct. The removing of any clothing. Yeah, they don't always, cause well, I mean, you have to have a certain amount removed or you're not going to properly, like hold onto the pole.

Like you can't be fully clothed trying to pole dance. You're going to slip right down. That's why firefighters have to be fully clothed when they go down the fire, like pole, cause otherwise they'll stick to it. Oh. You gotta have clothes on. And that'll burn you.

Yeah. Talk about clothed firefighters as much as you want, Jenna. Yeah, clothed. Do you wanna talk about any other type of firefighters? No, stop it, I didn't mean to bring it up again. Unclothed. You've been doing firefighter research, huh? Ah! Sticking to that pole.

Ah. Come on. He's supposed to be coming down any moment, but I think, judging by what I can see, it seems that he is stuck on the pole on the second level. I have quite an angle. That would be quite an angle. For our cosplay stripper pole renditions, it will be, there will be some sort of nudity.

There'll be nudity, some form of it. Okay, well, maybe just based on the fact that if you're gonna dress up like me, I mean. Fake beard. I mean, there's only so much you can take off. I mean, like, okay, yeah, you take the fake beard off. You should actually probably leave the beard on. Yeah, leave the beard on. You're gonna take off. I mean, like, okay, yeah, you take the fake beard off. You should actually probably leave the beard on. Yeah, leave the beard on.

You're gonna take off the button up and you're gonna take off the jeans and then you're done. You might take some shoes off. You know what I'm saying? Like I just, I mean, maybe I would be layered in this scenario. I don't know. Like I'm just saying that there's not a lot.

I don't wear vests. No. Chris Angel is like layered that there's not a lot, I don't wear vests. No. Chris Angel is like layered and there's- Yeah, I think it's black, it might be leather. Yeah, and I think that he- I think he shows skin as part of his outfit a lot of times. Right, there might be some- Already.

We don't have that at your disposal. So for me, you're gonna, I don't know, your hair is gonna go up in an obnoxious way, you're gonna wear glasses. Booty shorts are not off the table. I don't know, you could paint on some tattoos. Why don't you go have box-a-brace on? Why don't you take the jeans off?

Yeah, yeah. But what she's really asking about is the song. So... What song captures the aura? Yeah. This is a tough one. Because, first of all, we can't play the song here. Unless it's one of your songs. Yeah.

That's too much self-cultivation. We wrote those songs for specific comedic purposes, and I think that would undermine the seriousness of the event that she's participating in. Unless it's two strippers doing a routine together on a pole, then maybe. Well, let's start with one. You go first. Let's just say it's you.

Just throw an idea. I mean, I'm trying to think of something that would be a good song that you could strip to, but also captures my aura. I mean, I don't know. I think a song that captures my aura is the Cheers theme. Pfft. Ha ha ha.

Yeah. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came. Yeah, there's double meaning there. You wanna be where you can see troubles are all the same. I'm just like, I kinda feel like. You wanna go where everybody knows your name. You know, I like that song because

it makes you feel good, it's got a good clear message. It's a slower pace. It's slow, it's not in your face, it's not like, people aren't gonna stand up and start doing things, it's more just like, it's not too exciting, it's just a really good song. Now again, we've never been to a strip club. And then at the end of it, the piano at the end.

We're feeling good about this. She's slowly sliding down the pole. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh all nice and bloodshot. But you don't have to do that anymore. Which you could do just by hanging upside down on the pole for an extended period of time. But you don't have to do that anymore. There's not much of a beat in that song. But I think that makes it interesting. Yeah, it's more interpretive of a pole dance. And so, all right, so she's gonna stay out there as you,

and then you're gonna bring a friend to be me. Oh, and you know what? Or she could just change. No, because Jen is right. We need both of us out there, and we could do the friends theme. So we just do themes? TV theme songs.

That's pretty energetic. I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall. It's like, can you get two people on a pole at once? Yeah. Yes. Like higher and lower? Mm-hmm. And then it's called stacking. Maybe beside each other, spinning?

Maybe, yeah. Okay. Sometimes you can do a thing where there's somebody on top and somebody on bottom and then they flip and you didn't even really know how it happened. I do like the progression of the Cheers theme into the Friends theme. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name,

I'll be there for you, you know? It's kinda like a call and response, it's an answer. But then it feels like we need to close out with one last theme song for both of us, like maybe Simon and Simon. Simon and Simon, I don't know, that's just an instrumental. No, no't know, that's just an instrumental. No, no, no.

That's just an instrumental. No one knows what we're talking about. No one knows the Simon and Simon theme song, but it was so good. All about the Benjamins, maybe? I guess with the Diddy stuff, we can't do that. No, I want it to be a TV theme song. Oh.

I like them with words. What's another good one with words? Dix of Hatter? Just a good old boys. Oh, and then it's about two boys. Meaning no harm. Meaning no harm. Yep.

Beats all you ever saw. Been a running around this pole since the day they was born. Yep, that's it. That's the routine. It starts with the Cheers theme song. It goes to the Friends theme song and then it ends with the Dukes of Hazzard. Dukes of Hazzard and you can bring in a third person

to be in a- Roscoe Peacole train. When I was thinking more Daisy Duke. Oh. Wearing Daisy Dukes. But Boss Hog, dressed up like Boss Hog in all white. Yes. Somebody comes in as Boss Hog.

Oh yeah. He's got so many things to take off. He's got the hat, he's gotta throw the cane down, he's gotta take the jacket off, he's gotta take the vest off, he's got the bow tie shirt. He's got a white vest off, he's got a white shirt. Yeah, yeah, he's got the boots. And it's all white.

That's sexy. Okay. No one's ever done a boss hog strip. We could, hey, if we really apply ourselves, we could solve a lot of problems. I feel like we got one more in us. Okey dokey. Hi Rhett, hi Link.

My name is Raymond and I'm calling in response to a caller from the previous episode named Truman, who had a word crush and was trying to get with a girl who had a boyfriend. Yeah. Well, it turns out I'm in a similar situation, but I'm the boyfriend. A few details. My girlfriend and I have a close relationship. She actually told me about Truman. I can confirm the Truman of the past episode is not the same Truman I'm dealing with. And I've also personally met Truman and he won't stop asking my

girlfriend to hang out with him. I'd like you all to weigh in on how you think we should handle this Truman situation. Thanks. What is he also? Is he also named Truman or is he just a Truman as an archetype? Apparently his name is Truman. I don't remember when we were talking... Is he also named Truman, or is he just a Truman as an archetype? Archetype. Apparently his name is Truman. I don't remember when we were talking. We just not trust Truman. I don't remember that Truman was the guy's name

that we were helping. Well it must have been. Must have been. We never remember the names. Okay. So if I remember correctly, we gave our Truman lots of great advice. Many options.

To infiltrate the relationship. One was like a three year plan, if I don't, he would slowly become the guy. He had to look increasingly like it. Yeah. Yeah, and then I came up with something simpler, I can't, do you remember what that was? What did I do?

What did I say? You said that you had to go in and resign, and then give your feelings, and be like, I can't be around you, can't even work here anymore. Yes, an ultimatum. You're too much of a distraction, that's what I said. Yes, that's the ultimatum.

So now here we are trying to help out the other party. Is that a conflict of interest? No, no, no. Are we signed to our Truman? No, we're like attorneys. You come to us and we're on your side. Oh, so we're not contracted by our Truman? Whether you did it or not, we assume you're innocent when you come to us and we're on your side. Oh, we're not contracted by our Truman. Whether you did it or not, we assume you're innocent when you come to us.

Because if it was the same Truman, we couldn't. I think that would be a conflict of interest. That would be a conflict of interest. First of all, I'm glad you called and we're here to help. I think what's happening to you is horrible. And I think anyone that would help your Truman out would be sus at best. Unethical. Malicious at worst.

And we're prepared to come after those guys too. But I do have an idea for you. If you sense that she's kind of into Truman, sort of likes the way he dresses, the way he looks, things about him. This is gonna take a while. It might take as many as three years. Right.

But you're gonna spend some time slowly adopting Trumanisms is what we call them. Yep. First, the most subtle thing to do is get the same pair of shoes because a lot of people don't look down. And then you build up from this foundation. I like to think a lot of people do look down. Less than you think. Even less people look down. And then you build up from this foundation. I like to think a lot of people do look down.

Less than you think. Even less people look up. As a tall person, I have a great vantage point of this. You can build it from the top to the bottom, but if you get the same haircut, it's too big of a flash. Yeah, you gotta work from the shoes up. You're right. You go shoes, pants, belt. Shirt, facial hair, expressions. A lot of things happen in the face.

Expressions, words, accent, interests. Kissing. And then the last thing is the hairstyle. And by the time you change the hairstyle, she'll already be so confused. Right. And she won't know the difference between the two of you. And at that point, you make your move.

Well, you're already the boyfriend. So I forgot who I was helping. But you solidified it. Yeah, yeah. You really, you made it uninfiltratable. Yeah. You know? It's like what does he have to offer?

Nothing you're not already. Nothing you don't already have. Exactly. It does kinda tee me off that like he's being so forward about it. Like she's coming home telling him, is she complaining? Does he need to pay a visit to her work? You know, it's like when to pay a visit to her work?

It's like, when you pay a visit to work, to talk to the work boyfriend, boy, that's a big moment. That's a big moment. Maybe you know where his parking space is, and maybe when he pulls up one day, you're already standing there. You know?

Arms crossed. And then you just kinda walk away. But then the next day you're standing there again. Well, I have follow-up questions. And you just kinda walk away. I think if you're standing there three days in a row and he doesn't say anything to you, you may not need to say anything.

But what if you've got places to be? Well, if you have scheduling conflicts, you gotta pick three days in a row. Okay, how about cardboard cutout of yourself? Yep, yep, everywhere. In every single parking space. With arms crossed? Now you're gonna end up complicating the days for everyone who works with your girlfriend,

but he will get the message. I don't know if- And Kinko's I think you can get a pretty good deal on a cardboard cutout. The more you get, the less expensive they are. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, what if we went with the trust women route? Yeah, okay, this is always a good thing.

Let's play with this one. You stay at home and you say, of course Truman wants to do more than work with you. Of course. Yeah. But you need to turn the tables on this guy. Like you have all this power over him. You know? So, I trust you to just put him in his place,

because I trust you. I trust you to do whatever it is you wanna do, and just keep telling me what's going on, because I get a kick out of it, and I know that you got this. I'm just, I'm just, just a spectator from the sidelines. This seems like a good idea. I'm just a spectator from the sidelines. This seems like a good idea. So now we need to give advice to the girlfriend though.

Yep, so she's gotta start, I don't know. Well. Maybe every time that he comes, every time he talks to her, she's getting a phone call from a boyfriend. I actually think there's a number of things that we've talked about before

that can be incorporated into this. This kind of, this is a sign that you give great advice when you can just recall previous things. Like you also might be able to get a ragweed pill. And every time he comes around, you break out. Okay. Hives. Second thing you can do is there is a principle

in martial arts. I believe this is maybe Jiu-Jitsu or Taekwondo, I don't know. It's where you use their momentum against them. You use their momentum against them, right? And so what you're gonna do is I'm assuming, if this guy is so bold as to attempt to kiss you or to think that that's what you want, like maybe you're alone in a certain place.

Maybe you're gonna have, like, you're gonna have to, in order to enact this plan, you might have to do some things you're uncomfortable with, and so don't do it if you are. But if you wanted to make him think that you also wanted to kiss him, and then what you're gonna do, this requires a third party.

He closes his eyes, you close your eyes, he leans in, you quickly grab a boss hog impersonator. Cosplay stripper. And he kisses boss hog. The stripper. He'll never do it again. I think she's gotta lay the lawpper. He'll never do it again. I think she's just gotta lay it all down. Hey listen, this is not gonna happen. I think this is amusing.

Nothing more. Yeah, you gotta tell them to back off, right? It's not professional. You be like, hey, I'm flattered, I appreciate it, but... Not gonna happen. I'm gonna have to set a boundary here and say, I don't want you flirting with me or talking to me. I don't know how far this Truman has gone, if he's saying things like, oh, you need a real man, or whatever the bullshit that he's saying is.

But hey, don't say that kind of stuff to me. I think you just gotta nip it in the bud. But yeah, we trust women. Yep. To handle their business. You know. And only if the woman said, I need a cardboard cutout in every space tomorrow morning. Right. Go to Kinko's right now, 24 hours. Only then would we endorse that. Yup. Alright, we, speaking of endorsement, we endorse ourselves and everything that

we've said today. And also the stuff that Jenna said, I endorse that as well. Thank you for all your questions, all your follow-ups, these continuing conversations bring us joy. Your new questions, get us thinking, and hopefully we can continue to shape your everyday lives. Don't forget to call in 1-888-EARPOD-1. Talk to you next week. Hey Rhett and Link, this is Josh. Just calling because I recently got married

over the weekend and there was a possum inside the organ that was covered in cheese whiz and vomited all over our officiant and I'm just wondering if you guys have any experience with something like this or if there's any way to find out how to fix this problem. My new wife and I are very shaken up and I've been sleeping on the couch now for a few weeks and we've just both been having reoccurring nightmares of cheese whiz possums. So if you have any advice for me,

I'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much, bye.