El Podcast de Marco Antonio Regil - 074: ¿Amor o adicción? Relaciones codependientes, con la Dra. Cabouli

Episode Date: October 29, 2017

¿Has tenido relaciones adictivas, apasionadas, tortuosas, dañinas o incluso has anhelado una relación que a todas luces es imposible? En este episodio la Dra. Liliana Cabouli nos invita a reflexionar y entender con claridad qué es el amor verdadero y cómo distinguirlo de una adicción que te destruye.

Episode 74. The podcast of Marko Antonio Regil is a production of RGL Entertainment and all his rights are reserved. Vineness at the podcast of Marko Antonio Regil. Dr. Lillianna Kabuli, welcome to the podcast. How is Markito? With much curiosity of that you let me talk about this story of the codependency,

I have a quantity of friends and amigas and in some moment in my life, it, where you've experimented, where you're with the same infirno, with different diablo. Is that's

you're going to a relation to another where the pattern of or you're with someone that's with you, but

no you can't do you. That's the codependency? The codependency is to look relations in where, in where,

they're going to fallar. People who can't respond you, that not they can love, persons who

have problems of alcoholism, of droga, relations This, um, a person that not you're going to basically.

I mean, I mean, I'm going to me stoboteing from before to enter. Buscuh, I'm going to runper the carita.

Exactly. How can't do that's it? You know, you know, you know, you know, the woman

does that he doesn't, the most of the times? No. Yeah. When it's alcoholico,

they're with them, and when the woman is to take to them, because the codependency

is a need to intimacy. Mied to the intimacy. Mied to really to be able to a person. And then really, I'm really to a person. And that form, and vinculartes with persons that are to do not have to do that harm, that you're going to lastimar and that not are going to be able to be

sure, is a part of being protected. I'm not going to be connected. I'm sorry. I'm protected that person has a person has a defect or a a pattern of conduct. A formid. A new permit that not me permit connect me, so I'm

sure I'm to not connect me to look to get a little bit a good about a alcoholico is a

person, that's the problem is the problem is the bottle yeah exactly, the love and the bottle yeah.

The lava fere is with the bottle the drug addict with the drug addicts, then who is the person

that's in front a person that is a person that not important as a person who like the

so it's it's is to be a place where you're rechasado, where no you're not

so loved where not you're accepted, where the other person has a problem that has

to change and one of the characteristics most important is the hope. The hope.

The hope. The experience and be there and be there's a person that that you

do you doffes that's that's that's all the time, that you

don't know to make to come and then and if can be that you back.

Because in really what you look is that change. is to have a experience that

never to never is to be the intimacy and I'm the intimacy of the person because no change but that's

but that's me protect to me to say I'm I'm thinking the intimacyity but the truth is that

I'm a way of the way because in the people you know I want to say oh I want

a relation and I'm sure, I'm the day I'm that day I'm going to that day I'm going to

what you're saying is that in reality at a even inconsient no I'm

I'm what I'm what I want to do you I want to want to do. Exactly. Because

to love is so hard. Listen me, fithate you am you, my mom, my mom.

Fifate what is the perid of the person, the pain that's the revolution.

And the and the and the thing. And the same to know what you can't be able to

that person. That one you're going to be able to do you say in the podcast that when

you were your your, your fear more your fear more than your

mom muriara, right? Imagineate. And that's the person and I've seen to the people,

he's seen how he's not out of suhria comfort and so and that angustia and so

they're so much fear to be lastimated. And it's a lot of to be that's a

lastimated that prefer in an relationship in a problem. I'm

a couple of I'm had been I'm and me and I'm and I'm I'm trying to

I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a really a my therapy me,

me, it's been a and I'm even when my my friends me do you and then I was

confessing I'm that me, that I'm that I'm that I'm because I'm already

and I know I and I'm yeah I'm yeah I'm sorry I'm I'm gonna

and I'm I'm gonna maybe some day to be able to be able to that that

a pain that's a great that's a good. Well, that's the

person to do you know, because nobody want to be because if you am I'm you can't

get to then I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm do it. All right of the

fear. The is the contrary to the love, is the person

if you're doing the person, do you're there's a part of that's the part of

that's a matter, no? Because you amando. So the fear you impede to love

and the people don't want to be in those people don't existes, relations that

are infermars oh, I, I'm sorry, I'm in someone that's in the

Congo Belga and I don't have to have to be to be to be for cast

for example. Imposible. Imposible. Because what's that's a mind, because I'm not

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, because And with what

is possible I'm afraid Because there No, because there's In other No, this no

I'm because this because these these, these, look,

this not because look, look, look, look, no, this,

this, see, how it's no, no, no, no, no,

very superficial no, this, no, or this, or this. Or this. Yeah,

the mind the ego is an expert or expert. Ooh, to find defectors

to depreder it until that no you interest more. And the person perfect is

something is a person because of the I'm in there's a no way and there's

like I'm like when I'm like I'm I'm a because it's a fact of because it's a time.

And you can't make a light of the air of you're the person most

spectacular of the world. Or me am I'm am sure to an person

or something and it's the best and it's the person to the person there's nobody

nobody in this The world is like she's impossible. Traeter to the side and it's possible and

no. Yeah, not is so marvellousousa. You know, and that's, and that's the fear of the

intimidate. For the fear to to lose, for the fear to to be that they're

to be chaseless. For the fear that they're not want to be to be to say, to God.

Now, now that you know you're not who you don't want to be the co-dependence

that directly related with the Total. Start with with who

can't have that is another form to defend me. From there for example, that you

have you mentioned in the pasto, that many people, more than that are not wapas or

are famous or not famous, they don't have money, they're not they're not. Because they they're doing

that. Because if you're you're so I try to get to first a

objective eternal. Because it's eternal always me rechasand and I always

I always want the same. And second, is a way to be inamorated of the love more than a person, apart

this person me rejects, for the which I have bad autoestim so perfecto because cordina, he did you

know what I know about that's the right, the love is something so important and so

interesting that people want to do it because it really when you're I've

heard many that phrase this is so spectacular that it is so spectacular that that it's

then they're to sabotage to be able to parrador it. To be to get me this is a right.

This is very good. Oh, to be no. A- see how it's I'm going to get you.

Exactly. Oh, you've lived. Oh, yes, for the question. But no,

not of the person of the people of the people who amas. To you have been

to the only that I've felt that I'm because the relations that I've

had to have to be to have to be and I was really a more like what

would have been to be so I'm so I'm so I'm not so if it's the same

question or have two responses different but two things that I would be interested

that you could use to teach or to teach us there two types of people

at the more the way the that's a alcoholical that that is

that's metid in drugs or in a no a fric or the

trafficante the he pecs the Peele the Quirnos. He put the

Quirnos. Exactly. But there go to the other. The woman

that's in a relationship but she has been in a love. And it's not he

put a attention or not the not it. And the people? You know,

you know, that's the life, that's that's a love of you? Because

you're not you're never to your and you your time. And the

thing about the family for the friend years there is a

Because you can't idealize. It's that all what is idealized not is love. Not is amor. It seems love. But not is love. No, even the admiration is love you.

Because you know what? When you love someone, even though you do do you look, even though you do it, even though it's a sentiment and it's a

desire that you produce that you say you're the best for that person. That's the love. The love not is the novel.

Not is idealization, the love. The love is is a realtor. It's me importas the

really. How how I distingo between the mariposites in the stomach, the enamoramion

in the enamoramiento in English is infatuation so it's like how how I think that

an impulse of a true and profound love because I was another and a

realer and also also a kind of a that's that's not because

the admiration has to have to have to have to be with the ego. Look,

look at this tippa look that I'm looking that's I'm a good I'm a

I'm a I'm like what I'm not but that's not going to I'm not going to I'm like what

I'm not what you what does it is what it's what it's before you before the

before I before I'm talking about I was talking to a doctor Elena Kabuli of a

she a girl I was I'm I'm I'm I'm what he says

I'm it's activist for the animals and the things very very similar to I'm

but like he move the heart, the compassion, and that's what I said. You're not you. So you're like,

I'm like, I say the same as I'm like I, do it's the interesting what I do. It's an amor

narcissistic. And the ego? Okay, and how so I don't know to get into that I'm to know, but

the other is, because that's not a compatibility. Because I when I'm like, I'm that I'm like, I'm not going to

be the master, no I'm going to be the coach, no I'm to teach nothing, I can't

learn to she and that's like, ah, I'm a good because now that's going to talk about the thing of the women women

when they're when they're not going to want to be sure you know, fiftate the the same. You know,

you know, you know, you know, you know, you're not you're not many aspects. Some aspects

admirably of your mom, other, those detestable. She, but in the practice that there was

a thing, and the time, and all the time, and you, and the time was. And,

and you, and you about, and you're to maintain her and visit her and it dole-o, like that's to drop you,

it's not, and what has to be that's about? And what you're doing that's what you're doing, that's the

love. The love is, although I'm like you're like you do you, even me doesn't,

the other, is that I'm that I'm able, and I'm able to do you're so many things. But it's there's

compatible. I mean, I'm not, what is the equilibrium? What is the thing? What is the

compatible. That's also that's a very interesting. Because, you know, I say, what I do? I'm going to say, I'm going to be the

same as I. And the contrary, a lot of because obviously you're going to want to be able to be a. Well, for example,

you, that you have said in other podcasts. If you're vegan and you love to the animals,

and you're an activist and you're a move to this, then patate with other person that that's similar

and it's not going to be a disaster. So, that's really, but

really that's not the base, because the base is something more than that's like that. You can't be like you're going to you know,

you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, a type of it's all different more things.

But in reality, many times has been to do the complementary and it has to do you do you know

to make sure you as well and it and not always that's always that's the codependence that much

sometimes inamor to be because you know no matter because no that's

never No, I'm albanio, no doorme to get a never, no has been in front of no, no, no, they're going

to work you, nor you know, we're going to desalunar back, no, no, I'm going to do you want to get

the reality. No, no, no, no, no, he's not, no, you know,

the, didn't, the period, and he, he's, he didn't, he came, during five days

before the, so that's true, but the love is, so, that's, that's, that's,

that that that person has all those effects and all that's the that's the product, that's the

part of the person, that's the person, you know, I'm like, but it's to have a

idea, something, something, because if no, there's the, but there's the compatibility, that's something

that's a compatibility, because, a, I mean, me has passed, I remember

when I've been a 25 years, I know, I'm, I'm, I'm, this is the

person, so I'm made to do, so, I'm made to , The day that we'd give us a better be that a

umbra, to a, a little, a little, I'm a little, I didn't know, no, I didn't know there's a chemistry,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the requisite, those, the point of view of course, to be a , it would be,

a chemical, that's a lot, and much people, not, because there's people, that's the sex is not the most important for them,

but there's, but for me, for all the world, for that, when I, when I, when I, when I,

when I, when I, when I, let's see our priorities where they're because for me the most important

is the passion. I'm in a passion I'm living. But for someone that's the most important is the stability economic,

then you have to get to be a person that's really a lot of and have a ability economic. Or for someone is

very important the sex or for a person. Imagineate that you you have a question you

that you know that you like to be much to be much to be able to and you know,

you know, you know, you know, you know there's a good there's three

heart and soul and and a there's a connection mental spectacular you're going to

talk about four million but not you do you have to be able to get to get to get a friend or

a friend maybe it's a man maybe you can't be you know only got to get to

you're but when you're to get to talk to that person not be the other person you can't

make a lot to make sure for that person, much carinio but not you do I have

a want to and get a and get a and then it's and you do not the the same thing to

when they're going to when I'm going to when I'm for me the more more coordinated is this. Me it's what? My brain.

My ego. The society. So, so recommend is number one to know me you very well

know I'm very well know what are my priorities and with my priorities in what is important for me

to look an equilibrium between mind, mind, and that's at the three

that are compatible with me. And it could be that person not not someone

or that you may be that you can be able to it's a thing you it's a and it's

that can't even though that person to make make make Cresar. Because

someone has to make to make sure. The relations are to make sure. Not just to get to do that

to make to get a out of course, or to get a time to get a party. It's to go to

and to grow. That's the that's a not a description. Mm-hmm. Me

understand? Yes, it's to grow. It's to be to do you're to grow up

but but also just, just just to just to put the context of the context of

a question, I'm I mean who is a commodity what I'm a good not a

compatibility with a challenge with a but also not can't be able to someone who's someone who

someone who's and it's like that's all that's well that that's we can't go to go

that's but in one of you know you know you're described that person that's typical of the

people. I'm I'm I'm going to there's three things of the men there's

always they're always they seem they're they're all. It's if a person

and a feedback, I'm you're always, and then they're doing a bit of

when they're doing the time when they're saying, look, she's a now, why is that

that woman celos? Because it's a lot of remate, because she's because it

has been unsecurities or because you're really you're doing things that you have

really, you know, a man, and so I'm a people, and so it's all the

people, it's a person, that you you know, you know, because it's a that's a

that's not, that's the let me know, let me think it's let me think that you're going to have a lot

to make a question, I'm really to feel, I'm just, I'm really the attention of the people, I

like coquetial, me can't when me say that I'm mean, and I love to

that I'm just to think, that I think I'm putting more more great and I'm more than

I'm to know the that's, that's that's, that's I know because in

reality, in instead of being being in being in the part of the question,

because my ego is a bad or my autoestim is so too that's not doing to

outside of something, and I'm and I'm and I'm I'm think that that's the

response. Yeah, okay. Of the money. Volvien of the pause, I'm going to ask

to the doctor, Lilianna Kabuli, and this is this has been many people

that I have done this story. I'm with someone who can want to be

compromises to be in a relation, but just public I a photographia with a friend and I'm going to be a

know-so- I'm a-se-k-k-a- and that's- I-cose-k-kall and that's I'm atosted with him and that's the

not want to be my nobio but me-sela like a perro ravioso so let's let you guys what you'd

you'd to the people who are to be you to the people, one more, that are

going to be that's allien and they're they're a little and they don't they they're

they disappear They're, they're like, they're like like you, but they're some little little bit of

a lot, and you know, you start like a two cases important, after the pause here in the

podcast. We're going with the Dr. Liliana Kabuli in this podcast where the

base of the theme is the codependency but I've been many many ramifications, no?

So, but to clarify it's that when you can't in a relation with

an alcoholico with a drug addict, with one that one that one that one that

he puts the one impossible, are suffering of co-dependency, that is to love the impossible,

to love what not you're going to be in the intimacy, it's a relation infirm. And that's a thing.

That's a co-dependence comes to the infancy. It's a infancy where there was a place where

the necessities emotionales that were not not were covered, where there was a person,

someone, who was there to give to that person that person made that that person

created a pseudo- personality. and they're going to the world with that self-personality, with a vacio very great and a necessity of a lot of love terrible, but in reality,

of love for not has received. Because never they're receiving. So, they're in the place. It's like if I'm I'm going to eat

to eat to a place to eat, to eat, no, there's no, there's and I'm trying. And I'm trying and I'm trying to

get a place because I'm going to do that and I'm going to the you're doing, because the day that this restaurant

can be going to be able to be happy. Exactly. In instead of and get to other restaurant. And having

many times because I'm going to keep here because I'm here that's the co-dependence. So, and me is a

reforcing a idea that I'm in my in my mind, for there that's not I'm sufficient, I'm completely,

I'm not I'm not going to do you exactly, not I'm no, I'm going to make a person

in the love of the love of a lot of I'm I think I want me Kareme, for Because you don't me care.

If you If you're If you're You're going to It's all It's all reverse It's a reverex It's a

It's a reverex It's a After a while And then it It's always And then you I'm saying Al-a-old

The other is that And all the And all the Everyone feels For the other It's a When somebody

When someone I say I'm not No, no No, No, no They're They're

They're They're They're But one A role And the other A role and A role.

Now, is it's, it's, it's changing the, the culture a little to put, because much of this form of thinking, well, we're going to the Hollywood, of the movies, of, the, Disney, of the telenovelas, but even Disney, no, I mean, or Disney, as they're saying, is it's changing much,

so, those, those films, they're more, for example, in Frozen, no, congelada, as it's called, as, how they've, come, come, like, how they've done, come down, to this prince, and the princepe, and the princey, he says, no, how in love of you, if you

have to know, if I have to know, apart, I don't need to know anybody that me make a question, wow, so that's,

that's a change radical of the philosophy of the princesses of Disney, where now the woman is self-sufficient,

the woman is a woman, the love very good, a prince a caboio that he know,

but in malepicate, and malifient of her mom. So, they're to change the conceptos of,

the real love, and of the selfificience and the value, over all of the

women, even in the cinema. Who is it. Who is it. Who is it. Who is doing

those films? Yeah, he's going to a little of a personal. And that's going to help

to go to get to grow new generations. But also they're putting the a woman in a position

where the woman has like the woman and that is all the thing. And that's

because the woman also came to be good to be sure to be sure of that that's part of what the

woman does but now is like the woman is like the they're trying to be being to be

to be alone and that all right, and I consider that there's in that's really very different and very interesting and very profound is is to be in a

relationship to be able to work and grow. Because, the ultimate, when you're doing it does feedback, really, it's very little bit of the

feedback that you're doing what you think you're, as you're doing, what you're doing, and the feedback is zero.

And when I when I'm there's a bad and bad and good character, and all this you're always you're egoistic

too and you're so it's an equilibrium. Because in the woman, no, there's to make to think to

a woman, that's the someone who has to help, but someone you're going to have to love, two persons

that's going to love. The love is a decision, too. Salvation me and care me, one of the

one of the one is, one of course, to come, and I'm going to be a victim. Right,

no, no, nobody has nobody. Nobody has, that's a cause, that's codependence, too.

That's, to help, to help, and to help you, and to then, for what?

then you're going to when I'm going to change you you know it's you know I'm going to get in terrains

but it's also because it's not a way they're not a form in that God is my guide, God is my mind, God is my

God. God me am a not, no, it's God will castigar or me will be to save

of this this valley of the life of I'm like God is a so like literally

literally they're saying versus God is my is my fencing and my point and my point and my

my talent so you they're to teach to think to the relationship with God, with the divine, and then one also to the relation with the father. And then we're all the relation with the

partner. And we're all right. And we're all because all is to restructural. And now there's a confusion very great because the women, look, the women don't want to be women, and the women are not getting a lot of questions in the head that each one has to be to be a certain way. And that's not badgered. Okay, so it's not funcions. For

so the relations no function. But it's will have to have to because we're going to have to make a couple. Because if no, no, there's

there's a bad more more than that. It's going to get back in the world. So, we're restructurandons

because the woman depended economically of a woman. The woman was a woman to be

and there had been and there was that you're because I'm going to have to be right?

Now, now the women are not the women are so they're going to get to

someone because you don't know but it doesn't have to care to care to be

No, because this poverty-sit, infelis, because it has to care to care. It's part of the natural of the human. It's to care, is to care, and conquistar.

That not is the same. That's the same. Because it's al-al- because we're talking about codependency. And there is, we know,

we're going to protect her to put her to the woman. And if you desempowering, and the woman to be,

to be someone to help, and to, and inspire to, inspire, to, inspire, to,

inspire, inspire, the salve. If you don't me I'll go. Exactly. No, no, no. And that's the, no, no, no. And so, there's a lot.

Because much of people are very desperated because he thinks that's going to the train. So, they have to get to get to do. I mean, I mean, to say, I don't

you care. You don't want to do you want to do you? When you're not to get a entire herence to your infarmera,

that is the person that's the person who will be her because you, you know because you, and the fault to create

to give, is a problem very great that's a problem that's the author of the seven habits of success. I don't remember the

of success. Stephen Covey. Yes, I think it's COVID. Well, he, when I was studying the mastery in

psychology spiritual, was one of the books that was given to study in the first year. And I remember that

about the three concepts different. One was the, one was the one was the one was the codependency,

another was the interpendency. Co-dependence is when I need to get something to I'm completely egoistic I think I don't

need to know. But they're about much about the interdependence. That's that is what we are we're independent.

For that's not there's not the independence. Like, it's the only day between all the world. It's interdependence.

It's inter, because we're one, all we're interconnected. What you think, you pass, it's a

me and it's affect to me and it's affect to how it's, seven degree separation, how is, separation of

seven degrees? Yeah. No, did you know, that the people like we

we're going to come up for the type of the type of we're going to you're going to

you're going to the same people the same people and they're getting

we're doing. We're we're we're beingculated by the same type of

energy and we're so so how it's to put

that's a in a relation? It would be like. First, that a woman have been to transform in a person

that not doesn't mean to say that's a sense. In one person, I refer to the

same. As a the other example, a barco, it's a barco. Imagineate the

barquito, okay? And you, you know, you're in the child to get you, and then,

so now, you're two are one in the same barco. Any other anything that can do

the barco, will be to do the barco, they can do you do they start

interdependent is your necessities my necessities I think in the yours you, you think in the yours, you know,

give, dar, dar, I want to that's the good, I'm doing more, oh, no, if you're doing you do this is

really, you do you go to put a with the foot, I'm going to get a

that you don't you go, because one of you guys you're you're because, another of

the other of the things, is the fear of the abandono, is very typical of the

woman, the woman, and with the they're going to be more in this aspect they're

they're going to a woman for the woman never let's be because the woman never will be because the person who's going to

the person that's that they're so how it we're doing? We're doing, you do, you do, I'm better,

you make more, you make more. I think in you, you think in both, you're going to think in the other,

in instead of thinking in one, and there are and there are more than that's that's attractive

for the and vice versa. And vice versa. So, and they're... Embarazan the woman for that

yeah, jenna the of the and that's to get in the house. Yeah.

So, engordal for that yeah. Much of the men swenian with a house in the

house of that's not that they're there, for that when they need, that they're the fault

of the lack of liberty. But you're a other person. Yeah, the matas, the other

is what you did, is what you did, is what you don't understand, one of one person

has to want to be going to be to be doing all because you're doing doing it's doing to do it. He has to care to be able to be

to get to be to get to be to get to get that's not, that no me want to get a because I'm that's going to

let me make sure. So, that's a sort of the other person to be to say to it's like you, you know,

that's in a doctor Kaul and that you know, but you know desks, yeah no yeah no do you know

yeah no yeah no I'm going to that's, that's all the that's all right that's all because they're

to be a say something, you have to you have to understand, that the woman is an helper of the woman, to help them to help to help her

to grow. So, this is a woman to help. But the woman, the woman, not? No, it's much

more the woman, because it's so much more from the point of view of cabalistic is the, the ticum,

the correction, is of the home. Ticum, what is Ticum? It's the correction. Like, that one

came to do a certain a certain. Like a like a lecture. Like a election. And the

woman is your assistant of the assistant of the man, the assistant to help in that correction. No, is the same relation, not is

the woman, not is the same the woman is more easy to love, sustain, content, it's much more more easy for a

woman, he comes more natural, the man has more more fragile the ego. If the man is more...

If the woman not, the person, the relationship, no, bandar. The man is more conquistador, destructor,

achiever, buy lower to causes, bring the pan to the house and the woman create the there's a word in English

that there's a word in a word in a word of the Spanish that me like me like you say like four

words that's nurturing, not? It's like nutrition, aliment, to eat, to eat,

exactly. Are much things in one single in a word is nurturing in English.

For the chalalistas the woman is more more spiritually than the

woman is redimida and and the woman is more closer to

you know, well you do you know, you do a question, you know, you do a little of groceries, you know,

like a mother-tierra yeah, so the mother so if you don't know, then you're to listen to

your wife, you know, to be a good by, no, no, no, no, you know,

the thing, you know, you know, you know, to do you know, to be the car after the

other side, because, the reality is that, is that, that, that is a relation Sana is

respect, I'm a person, a man that's a woman, and that's always have

the best one for the other, I'm not to get to the quarno. All those things are

regals to get to not make to other people, not being being penetrated one with the other.

And there starts the advance spiritual, the the, the creation. I'm a

mother, I have a million, well, various, but one recently me said,

what happened with your name, yes, because I'm a actress, very famous,

and me he said, I said, the day that I'm the day, with the day, with the day, with a man, I'm

like, I'm would be a person, but that's a little bit. R. Fomosa, like they're Rhefamous,

like, exitosa. But, well, there's, there's, they're, they're, they're going to

get to and they're what is. What is? What is. What is? You're, you know,

you're, you you're not to be a political, but you're, M. Miguel Ruiz, does it's, adopt a cat

if you want to adopt a cat and you're for what so. And that's a lot of what is.

Adoptes to the cat and then you get to play that play the exactly. Because you know,

is because is because someone is because someone who said, he said, ah,

with you I'm going to but now I'm going to make a mind, you know, and really nobody's can't make

the condition that's the thing you what you think you're and that what you're and that's

Warren Buffett, one of the investors, no see the investor most recognized of the planet, but he says, when he says,

he inviote in an enterprise not because it's not because it's in offer. I'll elix the company correct and I

think to be available to invester in it. So, it's equal, and put it like the

example of the relations. When I was in the university, I don't not was able to the

child that was given. I was what was the one that was the correct for me

and I I thought that was able to that's you know, you know, you know,

the relationship has to be about with the economy. I always do many times of the economy, of the stock

market and of all? Yes. For example, when a person focalizes much the aesthetic, I go,

what's the mal the inversion. Because if you're going to be beheouser, the other is going to

obviously, you're investing in a stock that's going to have to be to be a stock that's a thing,

and it's a person that has a potential of a spiritual and mental, so that's

those to look at all right me attract. Okay, how time will you do you want to tryer? Listen me. That's a reality. One, let's something.

I was married with a super muscular super one-coeurpo. How much do you do that's a little? I'll get a moment you're used to

you know, or I'm a department looking to the play. All the day I'm looking to the mar without,

uh, because you don't know, because you don't know. There's, there are inversions there are there's not

a pain to make that's, that it's that a person that a the mind, of the

heart, that's a good person and of the soul, and that's a good, that's a

thing, that's a, that's a person, that's a person, does it, does it, does that you,

that's a market. And then you do you people, who are people who don't,

the attention and the care of, and the, the, the women who are those are

that are some and they're some of some people and they're and they're with the no,

he's with, no me called, no me Because he likes to be rejected her because he has a

self-esteem. That's a disgrace. It's a disgrace. It's a person. Because the woman

is loose, is power, is creator. The woman has to be in your power. It's a

autoestim. Bajaustima. And that's the grave drama of the women? How do you

do that? The question of the million of all the world, how is the question?

I'd say the two pasos of Mark Antonio Regil. But no

I can't have the five five PASO. D'emps. D'emps.

The autoestim, has been to be a question about a question, why I'm back autoestimation? What I'm

my house? How are my father? What experience I've been in my life that me has been to feel?

I'm going to be to be a restriction, it has to do you to make to make sure.

It's all a change of the mind. Because the autoestime no time to do you

have to be a car, Mercedes-Benz, that auto-estime a auto-estime Altaected Alta that I'm

I'm a career, I'm a doctorate. Ooh, that autoestima. I say, no, the autoestimma has to be with a

about a about a lot of, you know, that you're doing, that's a man, that's, and for to have an

autoestim, you have to have integrity and responsibility. Nobody in this world that is a victim,

and nobody in this world that has I'm sure that has an integrity. Integrity

and responsibility. Oh, the people that don't do you do not put a the back

self-esteem to generate codependency also. Total. I have a co-dependency not a person

but a person who a person who makes a person who makes like he like he doesn't and no I'm like

like that that's a co-dependence. That's what we're going to say to the bad to say in

public that we're going to that when a man want to you and Marko you can't

say back, when somebody when someone you want to and want to be to be

going to I have to do. And when no he'll be do you, it's a

matter. It's a question. Tell them in secret to all the chikas. It's

that when you know you know you know you know. I said. You know, no.

So you say, if I'm really madame but the really to the

car to get me in the car to put me to get to get a car

to be here to because no me interest so. If you you're

you putes gas. You want to listen you

do You manage 15 hours, you're in an avion, do you know what you have to do. When you're interested, you're not you interest, you're a manna, of person

that's a lot and talk and blah, and the women, the women, we'll say to you. The women, we're going to be the words.

We're just made for a power. And you're the women, you know, so you're doing to, so they're they're all, they're doing a curriculum

of the power, you know, I'm the person, are the most the woman, you're the world, so this, you're the other,

But we know, and we're just, we're taking that tar. For that I'm saying to my patients, no, listen. Agan count that's that move the boca, so, mud. You're looking what you do. Not what you do. We don't know what you're saying,

is that you're saying, is that you're doing, I'm saying, for you. And there's a lot of time. And there are people that have to do do, with to go to bed, and get to the get to the time. And there are people that depend on the process internal that, you know,

just basically more integrity. what you're saying, more integrity and responsibility. Not for you, for them. For a not to pay karma.

And because, the, of the theme of karma, even there's people that don't believe in the karma, but that's in that,

in the integrity. And the responsibility. I say to my patient and I go, I say to this woman, that you want to you want to

you to come to and that you not care you for a more than you more than you and that's that's all you

and that's so, but if you don't they're to go ahead to me. Well, that's

that's that's not that because they're doing the reason? There's much reason. There's a lot. But it's a

because the women don't they're not. When they're they're saying, they're saying because they're saying because of

because of strategy that's another thing, that's another thing. And so me put very and I'm very and I'm

saying, and you know, the people, you know, you know, you know, that's a little bit of making you a

little bit of and that you're always he's a way, it's a true, it's a true, doctor. It's a trick,

doctor. A tricko, a talk the podcast now I'm going. Let's hear a pause. Last time. We'll hear a pause.

I want to let me more profoundly of the integrity and the responsibility. Because it's like the relation. It's like, how I solution

the codependency? How you know there's five passes or you have 50 passes, a process to up to

get the autoestim. But how, what I can do to do you know, to be a pattern of

codependency and so with a person, with a type of person, I'm saying, the same an infirno with different

diablo. We'll we'll get us. I'm Mark Antonio Regila, Dr. Lillianna Kabuli, with us

saying, the truth. The truth. Nothing more than the truth, only the truth.

The truth. Because I want to not. And because you have suffered this? No, no.

I, I don't know, I'm, for a sure, thanks to God, like I, like I

study psychology and I see the people, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I I'm

my actions, I mean, the but when when you I was a novice. I took a novia of the 14 years. I was married with the 14 years.

Of the 14 years? I cased to 19 with my my novio of the 14 years. Until the 24. It's that those 10 years not are any different days. I'm a type of re- of years with the same person.

I know, I've lived these things, I've done, I've lived. But I've learned and has observed with my patients. You're focus on the reality. I've got much intuition and me sound a quote.

And you, and you're not me. in what is, in the act no is what he said. And apart, when I did dating, when I did dating, when I divorced you this second time, I know, you know,

is all what he did to do you, to see, to do you, they put it in the, all the, you can't, all the, you could imagine of, to provocations.

How to prove? To prove it? A bit of course, to be able to, be able to be to be in, they'd be able to be an avionas,

had to be able to be able to be to be able to them, and nobody yeah, and they were They knew. And they'd.

14 hours of Arizona, to a hotel, a little, here in my house, no. If it was it was very difficult to be

to be in a time, and do you mean it's not it means to do it with a bad no,

no, it's because I'm going to get in a barco to notar- but you can't do you

know, I'm sure, I'm can't be. No, but it's a because as a man is

a good that you're if I'm if I'm I'm just, if I'm oh, you want to go to

to see, it's a good, it's a not going to do it. No, it's going to be going to be able to

you know, I'm going to you know, but this is because you're going to do you know, but I'm saying something.

There's many many people, there are many people who are to say, ah, this, I'm going to say, I'm

don't know, is that there's no, no, is that you're there's a bit that's if you say, you do you know,

that's not and they're and insist, and say, that's a The thing of the of the men are the

woman's, you want to you want to get the same car used for 20,000 years.

So I'm I'm going to let's be like that's like that come to come to come to see.

Obviously that's I'm very that I'm but I'm I'm sure. I'm not to be

to get to not you want to use your time your money, your effort.

No, I'm want to be false. For favor, I'm believe me

that I'm going to let me cost to not going to cost to you. But I'll say.

You know, I'll say. I'll say, if you're interested in that, I like. Exactly. After more interest. And for that's, and for so I'm saying that I'm saying,

to be saying, to Arizona, of Ohio, of all the other to do you know, to Israel, me came to do get to be

to make an interview. I said, I'd have to to take an interview. They're puros fans of the podcast that here you,

I know, because I'm not because I'm not allowed in Spanish. That's the that's all the no,

because if no, they were they were they were with them But, but I think frankly, what I want to say

that when a man has been to say, no, never came to someone who never been to someone. But if,

if, no, of the real if you, I mean, I don't like to make to make.

And so, the first, no me that I'm mean, not much to do you know, and I

know I'm know, and my friends, do you know, I'm doing it do you know do they,

they're they're to manipulate to them, and to me put a to be very to be

to be No, no, I don't know. I don't want to, I don't want to come a compromise. No, no, I don't want to do anything. Libres, what's what I want. Nothing more that's going to cost. No, no. They want to be, if in one of that you're accustomed, and you

like, and then, then you're like, and then you're more. And then you're more. And thenchance. And you're horrible. Like, how horrible. And that's, me seems degrading, denigrant, horrible. First, you know, you're not, so is an election for that

only, it's just put addicta like an animal. Because the hormones, they're going to, and you start. You know, you start an addictoromorally to make a sex with that person. That's terrible. I'm so I'm

always always always I'm trying. No, they're doing something that's not it. No, they're doing.

Because it's an injustice. For the man, it's a problem is that maybe, many many times

it's the people, thinking that they're in this. So, so it's auto-convence, no? No.

No, say they're going to the therapy to three a month, to be to be in this.

No, no. Well, yeah, after they're no. You know, I think,

I mean, I mean, so, that's, like, no, I mean, I mean, I don't want to be in a relationship

But you know, but you know, but you're not, but you're not your friends, but not it's with me, but it's with

someone, and me saying, no, it's like, you know, just a woman, me said, no, just,

no, I'm just, me, I'm sorry, me, I'm sorry, I'm gonna, me, I'm gonna me, I'm, I'm not,

I'm, I'm, that's this, that's, because you want, modern. And I see that many people are to know how much they're going to but it's the

real thing it's like to be able to make them because the women are we're we're doing for that we're

we're used wired, how's is in Spanish? Wired. It's like cableada Cableyada

for be so much. We're just that's a so mean it's a not meanira not you're

designed we're designed we're designed we're designed we're designed we're as hardas okay

yeah I'm When I get it. When I get it. When I get it. When I don't know what I'm going to believe. No, you know, if I'm a codependency. Yes, in a pattern of conduct, you know, I'm a codependency with someone.

Or have a codependency? How do I do you do to romper the codependency? Very, first, you know, second, you know, that your emotion is that distortioned. So when you start, it's that, is that I am, I, lo, I love, I, I'm, I'm. I love, I'm.

Here, now, as the alcoholic, that It's, it's It's a It's a You know, You know, You know, It's a good

man, It's a It's a woman But it But it's just It's just It's just It's inoja

But it's But it's But it's But it You know, I'm So, So,

So, You know, This is my ego, no, this is my ego. So, I'm to learn what

is like, It's like It's like It's like When's Gets Quacks Vegan's

DeVolus of evolution that's of your of those of chocolate what's it? Dependent

if you have to do you have you're going to do you do you're because you did you

don't know any one if I'm if I want to get a no perfect

there's if if you really me really no I'm

that that's that that's that you understand you know so you

you're I'm the role you I'm I'm I'm I'm no

I'm a it's it's a real, it's it's a question, you're in the

love the life, you're gonna change, and it's a process to work to work your mental,

to control your emotions and understand that's a distortion of your emotions. And it's

a process for that you can't explain in three, four passes, because you

have to you're going to your infancy, your relation with your

father, what you what you thought when your mom, for example, put

to putelel that your life. So, you're a little bit. You've been

kids. You know, I'm not a lot of so you're a lot of something. So, some day,

that's a little bit more. No, my father, that's not my dad, we're doing a little bit of

a little bit to this problemat. There's a therapy. There's a care of therapy. So, serve to learn

books, serve to listen to the podcast, but the coaching personal is is a person.

And I'm a bit because the people because the people, I, I said this, me understood

another thing, and they're thinking that what they are doing, and they're doing in what they're and they're doing, and not is what

I'm doing this a year of therapy. I'm doing 10 years to do you. And I still still having to do things to grow and

and change. No, therapy is maintaining. It's all the time. So my question is,

but if not you sit and front of someone, to work to your person, never you

never will to understand. Okay. So, then, so, start conscientious of my

thinking, to accepting to give to give to talk, go to get a therapy, receive coaching,

learn, listen. What else I can do? It's a process. It's a group.

There's a group of codendency. It's called. That's all the times and you're

about, and you talk to the story. The same that the alcoholism. It's a

problem. It's a thing you know, what happens when you talk about a person that's a barra,

a barrera an front. You're you The only the 80% not comes of the information

that's it's very to work to work to work this not there's not there's not much

you're doing or what? They're protecting of the the pain the pain because

we have to have to have compassion because we've seen a life and that we've

had affected us has affected and has produced certain reactions and certain attitudes

and if not we we can't go and we can't go and is a chica, for example, a chica wapa, that I know

various of these. Chicas wapas that you'd say, oh, yeah, but you're done to sobara. And, you, see, they're doing

going to be and abriending with people who not they want. Because they're because they want to repeat

and I think, to be able to have a place, to have to have a profession, not you to get to nothing.

Nothing. This is this is the way to to the less to the men to be much to be much

to be much. A bit of people. Yes, is better. Yeah, because something very attractive, more than to be

going to start a way to be able to be a bit more, it's subjective. It's completely subjective because it's a you that you know

I know a much that the people could consider less wapas, but a me must them. Exactly. A me, exactly.

A me makes sexy or me, the same as this type is re-wap and a me not me seems. Well, I'm too, that's

a perspective. And that's good. That's good. So, okay, that's the person to be to the physical, but something

that's really that's a security. When when someone is secure or secure of the same

that's a total. That's the confidence. The confidency the confidence of a person intelligent, that

a person intelligent doesn't have to be with the studio, it has to have to be the capacity to

resolve problems and that's going, that's super interesting. You know, there's to be one what he wants to I mean. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. If you, for example, me said, Liliana, no, I want to get a re-mal, no, I want

to come to do because the really that I'm really bad or that I'm that I'm no, Lilliana, the fact that

no, we're no problem. We've been in one year, in two years, in two years I'm, I prefer that

I'm saying the I'm the I do. I prefer. I prefer I don't, I preferio, I don't

to eat, I don't not those I'm, I'm doing it. All the me like in my way to

my, I'm transform. As you know, I'm not there's not because we're not in the

effect. But there's that I'm can't and I'm dole much and me molester. A me

the is the most of the life. So, for me, that's the is what we

have to be the world. Yeah, but what you say you're trying to get a

in this circle vixosos to you're you're to do you do you

do you do you say? What the case? Parall. What you say? What you say? What you say?

Basta. Pasta. You need to parr. And to work in boss. No, it's that you

go to the personal trainer and have the muscles and take the surgery stethy that you put 20,000 postisos.

No, important. Because that what you have to do you have to do. Deh, to have to

go to go back. To stop. Parah. It's a satisfaction inmediate. Not even

it. Because that's satisfaction. Yes, because it's a rechazo and rechase. It's,

I'm trying to try to they're to say, I'm not my patients, it's a strategy, but

I'm going, I'm, who's you're going, I'm going, who are you? I'm going, I'm saying, no,

because, I'm, I'm going, I'm, I'm, I think, you're, you're not, you're not, you're not,

you're not, you're your mom, to create your mom, to tell you to say, to say, to say, to you're

to say, to you're no valise. You're not nobody. And he seems that's a

concept. Because it's a bad I'm sorry. I'm like that my daughter not so

you know, with all what me cost to have to in the panza parirte, the

don't know to work with all the you know for the you know, for you

God, that's that's horrible and it's that's for me it's ego,

ego, ego, and it's ego, and it's the cabalistas always It's like to be the

Humil, I don't know me I'm like, it's like, who are you You're not, you're doing, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're creating someone more, and that people did the maximum that could, and God

also, and God also, and if existis in this world is for something, for something, and when you're saying that you're not you're saying to

God, you're, that he's a disaster what he does, that's a disaster, that's, that I'm because you don't you have to be because you have to

care, for no reason more than you you have to keep to but I'll repeat it. The people

that's the people who has to have to be the integrity the word and the responsibility

because how you're going to be your your word if you do you do you know

this is my word why my my word about because I did it because I

me want to and my I'm not I'm a question of you know I'm

I'm quote to go and my with Juan, and I'm going to Peter, and you, I'm going to

those of the women, and you're not because one the type of this she's got to with you, with Juan,

with Peter, with all the world, he's got to to be there to be there and then you know,

you're not you're not you're special for that person, and the love is special. The love

is to have a place to be a other person. You're special for me and I am special

for you, and I want to be to be to be with you, and I just the

The lack of love is what is what we're not doing in this world. And to take the responsibility is, I'm the problem.

But the grand advantage is that if I'm the problem, then I'm so I'm going to change when I'm exactly.

And more, and more, and that's the more. And that's the thing to come. And that's my objective. And that

just is my thing to come to do you know to come raw cakes and evolution. No, I didn't even that more than

more to have said, and not more that's, to have to, to, to take, to to be a barrage. No, I'm going to grow.

Because my thinking and what I am I am, affect the world and to the world and those who are to be able to do you know,

the best of the life. The people see many things with the good examples. Much of, negative, positive,

you, you're, you're going to you're doing, you're doing the planet? Much of people people think you

think you're, who's, what's so? That's, well, but I'm, but I'm still,

but I'm A good example is a great mission. A great mission. Ser, a lot of life, is a great mission. So, one more,

be the change. And the change. And the other is going to be. It's notherment. Well, because we're all we're talking about.

Exactly. Exactly. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. For having been with us on this podcast. In Facebook,

we can't find, in your country. Dr. Liliana Kamuni. In Instagram, also, you know, I'm not

I'm a Twitter. But, so much I'm not Facebook is your favorite in your site of internet? That me can be found. I'm going to find them.

It's the only that you show what you do you know. Okay. So the who can't find out of Facebook. I can't get to

Mark Antonio Regila the the notes. There we have also the details of where where the doctor Liliana Kabuli.

Much thanks. Thanks. If you listen, in any application of podcast in your tablet

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