El Podcast de Marco Antonio Regil - 082: Cómo ser buscar y mantener una buena pareja, con la Dra. Belkis Carrillo

Episode Date: November 4, 2018

Las relaciones de pareja suelen complicarse desde el principio cuando no estamos buscando lo que realmente queremos. La desilusión y el sufrimiento vienen cuando caemos en error o la falsa idea de que eventualmente la otra persona hará cambios en su forma de ser para adaptarse a nosotros. La Dra. Belkis Carrillo, experta en relaciones de pareja nos viene a hablar de este tema de una forma amena y divertida.

The episode 82 is presented by EnSuenoe, the first and unico zovisante of origin

vegetable and free of ingredientes of animal. Ensue, we're inspired you. The podcast

of Mark Antonio Regil is a production of RGL Entertainment and all his

rights and all the new a new pair of this time this time in the podcast

the doctor Belkis Carrillo psychologist and a co-critory, coach of parages, and author of the book, how

be a good a good one of Dr. Belke's, well-in-in-n- no, no, I'm happy to be here. Thank you, thank you

to know, because it's of the point of that it was a more at first of first of course to get to

get to get in a new day in the world, I'm going I want to do because you're very good. Because you're

very good, you're very clear, and you're very things very complex so seem too things, so is,

an art. So, is. So, there's to do do it. We have to do the people

do that the way to get a lot of the people who are to make us to us and the other things that we're also. Also, you

need to be a lot of women and with women's who are looking this art of being a pair of that would be

that much more more advance the technology and more advance of the knowledge, we've more complexito or for the

less I've been able to more more than this. We've got to resolve more things. Now, now we're the problem

of the technology, of the time, of how time I pass with the telephone, how time I pass working, then we're doing, we're doing.

And the pair of, today, not is what it was the other. I remember that my abelves were so

and they're like in the movies, and then really, they're really, they're really they're not,

then the expectations of the end, it was, more of this love to, but my

abelos, they were, but not they don't they are and today we're going to

we're in our best our best our company of our company of the new people and the

mother, um, where is the change? Where are the time? And today, what I

can't be in my practice professional is that we're we're we're having

a pair of we're just we're doing we're doing we're even we're even of projects,

of we're just to do you And for that we have to know us. I think that's what is what's what's going to

respect to the relations of our boys, that today is like, let me know that you have what I need,

what I need, what I need, what I'm so it's a great idea, because it's like a renacern, no,

of each one of us in this time of the marriage, not it's not a only for the project of

the pair, but I'm because I'm because I'm so much, because I'm going to do this program,

we're going to let's do three segments to the program. The first part is how being the

second part is how to and the third is how maintain. Exactly. That's right. That's right.

And every one has a art very special. But I really like in your book, that's your

website and in my page web. In your page web, that is psychospacio.net. It's called

how I be a good pariah. You know, as you're a good pair before to think

in where I'm going and how I'm do you You start? Because during many years that I've been working with this,

I've done to get to me and talk to the pariah. Oh, doctor, he makes, he says, he says, oh, doctor, she me does, she makes, she says, and I

say, and when we we're the that's the that's sent out of me, okay? When we're about your responsibility,

of your apprenticeship, and, in the other people, me said, but this power, I, in the title,

here, like, he's a little to get a opportunity, and I say, no me doesn't, quit to

the harmony, because the yo is the protagonist. I think every one of us, every one of the people that

sat sat in the conference or every person that's reading the book, say, how I'm a good partner, because

the similar attract a lot similar. I don't can't be a rannita and care a prince or not

can be a a cato and a princess. The rannita are not not it's all reverse. So,

there are to be very clear with that. For that there you have to take

responsibility about my first, what type of a person of a person of

that The ranita, so little, the ranita so beautiful. So, so we're going to the prince.

Well, then let's go well, because one, a note that we always in the podcast is like,

like I said Gandhi, be the change the world that I'm going to the world in the

social, mental, emotional. So, how are, then, a good pair? What are the first

things to do a different a good part of the thing? The first thing

is revis my creencies about the love, that I've learned I in house about what is the love and the relations of a pair. There are people that have heard of say things like, when we have a little, we're going to make a house, we're going to

be happy. If he me maintains, then I have sex with him. And it's a negotiation and all these problems of creencers that we've seened. If she ever did all what I'd say, I'd say, and this during our life, we've been talking,

the woman has been trying, the woman and we're a cleaner the house and we we're going to another generation crevending in that you

I'm going to get a lot and you know see to be that what you're in your house, the love had to

be with with kisses, with with words or it had to be with going to try the

things. Because the love is a idiom and that I see of my parents is what I

go to copy. We're we're we're all we're we're all so number

one, if you're you're a good part of a paper and apis and he begins to revise, what I think I of the

love, what I think I of the pair of? Oh, no, that all the parties are complicated. Or that all the women are dangerous. Or that all those the men are infieless. Anotal. So you can notarly for that you can't be in paper and that you know that's the map with the you go to look at a paris. But my map is all those men are infieles. And that's what I'm going to

find out. Because the map no guide in the way. That's you have to have clear. If all the women are interested, that's the map with you, a man, you're a man, you know, the path

one is to revisit, what I've learned of my parents and the things, that's the

love, that's the love, that's the way, the that's that's not that's rational, he's a

way, to help you or that or that's exactly. Because I, for example, I've

grew with my mom, and my mom, I don't my life, was the person human

most important in my life, but she was psychologically really, um,

Firt, say, Inestable. So, my relation with her was very very much

drama. And you did you did you, you know, you did you. It's a pasture constant.

Drama. So, for example, that's in my map. And no I want to that I'm

because I'm like I'm sorry, the more, the more of this drama, yeah, I'm there's a

there's a question, you know, a creencia that's, a that you limit, exactly.

And that's the exercise, that each one of us is a look at least you, that in my case, the love has to be perfect. Because my parents had to be a very good matrimonial, well, that my soho was perfect, until my papa muriel.

So, I thought that had to be perfect and that had to go ahead. And, of a point, me found in a bad matrimonio and not saw how to do you because there was to do some, those parents

that are you limit in the cresciment, because they're in the drama, or those parents that you're making, a movie of Disney, you can't limit it. Because at the final is a creency that you

basis as a certain. It's a way. And really not is a law. It's a great.

Perfect. So I identify those creensies that can be not being and they're working.

And they're in therapy. Exactly. In therapy. Exactly. Or with people really

something, Mark, Antonio, when I am I'm in my life daily and I'm a person

a person that you know, a person who has a good a person who has been a person can be a

master. I think that one of us that can't to write to write your own

book and has his own own own his own and then the person, that's doing the that's doing the thing is that's doing

my zone of comfort, that's important. But not I'm going to go to get to someone different and that's going to be initially incommod. Exactly.

When you're a person, you have to be able to see, to understand, this no me like and this is

my. How me desague of this or how I'm the first part of the

other thing. Another thing important is to discover to me what is my necessity

human more important. For example, to have control. I'm of the people who like to

control of my money, but of a point I go and you

know you're a person for who you're for who the most to know, so

I'm to gasolinas in the world. All we comein' for the world and each one has a gasoline different. There are people

that have the necessity of human of control. There are other people who have the necessity of the variety of doing things

different, different people, different, different of some activities. There are people who have the need to the love

and to avoid the conflict, of the suave, of the sublimy. Other people have the need to

be important. Maybe are those children that grew without some good figures of

be in some parents very atent and they're they're they're a question

and the fifth necessity of human is when I have a need to the words of confirmation,

like me they're like me being able constantly with what I hear of so what is

my gasoline my necessity human, my necessity that I'm know that I know that's the control

I don't look at a person that gasten excess that of that of course that's

a lot an adventure, because there's much roece, and the relations of parisies are not for great things, but for things little things, okay? Kedemus, and you're not at the 8th, you got to the 8th,

you're just at the 9th, and you're a lot, but you're a man who's a lot of the variety. So, you're going to the clarity of who are, and what is the type of gasoline that

does it make rodar? That's important, so I know, to know me very well. Yes, and for that the first is that the first part of the book is how

be because I want that the person turn to the person's look at the people who they're in okay,

creencias we're talking about about the need human's more important, the third point my language

of love. This is comiquis because the people get to the office and he doesn't he doesn't

he says yeah but you know I'm just you know you know I'm like you know

because she she don't want to get them they're there people that say but

there's but how you're all the time with you. You dedicate all the time of the

world. But that other person, that other person, that other person, no want to be

time, you know, about or he there's there's different, that's

been a time for the doctor Chapman, and it would be that one of us

know what is our language. How I receive and how I know the you're going

to be going to because of every time that's that's we're

we're going to we're we're going to be it's a This is a revision exhaustive, no? But with the languages, fiatte, that's,

something that's, it's like a code of barras. And your code of barras you can't learn with only a parato. There are people that are loved of time of quality.

There are people that are madas with words, this is that are you say kuchikuchi, my amor, my gortito,

my gortita, and they're they're people who are people who are people who have to love and

through the contact physical. Are those those time are talking, and

agarandos, but there are people that aman with acts of service. They're coming and they do you do

do they're to make a car or they prepared on the coffee that you're doing or they want to be the

thing that you're that they're the list, and there are not any of any of the time, it is to make

something that something that really is that you're really, but all you are much that you say,

is that you know, it's that you know you're not learned because you're incapable to say a

I'm sure. But probably in your house am they're in their care or they're in their time

they're doing they're doing the time. So, no, they're going to not recognize these

these idiomas and even know what is the suiom and understand that's a bad. Absolutely.

It's a old. It's what is. Now, if I know, if I recognize

that I'm that's my way is distinct to my is different to me to adapt to

me to to learn, because fiatte to something that's a lot of that's a very very valuable,

I know that you know your language and my own are the same, and you and I know we're a parent a single,

we know this information and even we have us, even we know, we know, I know, that I'm

that I'm sure, you know, I'm like you know that me give us this podcast. And I'm you know,

when I'm like me love you with acts of service, then I'm then you do you do you

you know, then you podcast. So, so it's valid to say to the other

person to do. It's a because we're because we're going to we're in the same

can't. How we're going to we're going to not the other person adivine? No, and that's not

imagine it if we're mind. And if you think the therapy cognitive that I'm

that I have a kind of distortion documented, distortion of the mind. Because that's

no exist. Nobody can let me let me know that really you know that's you know

that's making you know to communicate. Absolutely. These are my instructions. Ah, is so.

So, so. So, I'm going to have to be able to call out of something. That's a record of something. The first time I had the manuscript of the book, I went to Las Vegas with my, and we, we'd have the manuscript. We'd get him sent out of places

different, and he used all the recorriot to read the book. And when we came to, God me, God, me, a man, this woman came with instructions, because I was saying, that's what

that's what everyone suenna, a person that a person that comes an manual little. A manual little. A manual it. Yes, because a sometimes

you try you an accord of that if someone has a little he has to have to know. Yes.

He or she have to know. Okay, is very important. What more? What more? Another thing

importantatism for being a good is to work a good and be careable

and be able. Fiatty, you, today, we do we do we do do much cultal

to the world, to do all what has to do it to be to be

the good erotism and obviously the sensuality is part important of a relationship of a marriage. But we're

forgetting the ser querible, companionsism, communication, support us mutually, know that we're for the same equipment and that we're going to

do what necessary to make our relationship and our family and then I see a dayro as people are just on

one side of these two arists, of the that I'm there's that one of they're saying

the time of deserable, and they're to be able to and they're And where we'll then the game, the erotism, the diversion, the sexuality?

No, no, no, I don't time. I'm tired. I'm tired. And I'll forget them. I'm arregglo. Yeah no me I'm cued. And yeah no, I'm for you. Yeah, no, I'm just to dox. And all right. Exactly. So, here we're that, we're not that we're not surestable,

we're going to beckonel and beck, that too, today, for that people loggeren to accomplish that and they're a little the piece to the

visible and we're we're a point more to be a good

part of the time. I'm going to talk about we're doing a communication aggressive or submiss

I'm always the victim of me make, oh, I am a person that I'm and impact

with my words, for what? To try, to travel the assertivity. Because, before, to enter in a

person, I'm that the most important in the life is to be going to be and only the people assertive are what means.

What does it? What does not be submissive, simply and be the more way possible to say what I'm going,

and what I'm I'm going to to go to the other. Not to not enter in that's a game of

who pega more so there. So, there to be to work with the assertivity

and that also there obviously information today in all the Redes and something I

think if I think if you're what is the most important of the book and the conference would be at

the problem. Learned of the vulnerability is vital for a good person's there's

no, I don't I'm going to say I'm I'm sure you no, no,

no, when you hume the sufficient I'm no, no, no so yeah

we're going to be, we about my capacity to bring my heart, to put

my sentiment over the me to be able to say, you know, I'm going to say, you know, I'm going to put the 100% in this relation, without expect, to be sure, without know if you're going to be able to be or not, if you're going to do a bit, so, we'll

give a bit of a lot of the falsedity, to be always predisposed, to be always and be we're going to, and we're going to fomentar, even to cultivate. Muchismas people, I say, and why don't you say, that you like, well, imagineate? So, how's it's it going to say, and what, and what you

make that if you don't let's a more, that person will be a divino or other

again in the other way, it's going to be in the thing, you know, you know, imagineate,

I'm not imagine it, I'm not want, I'm, like, it's, like,

we're, we're, we're, we're, and the vulnerability, really, the only

people, that connect them for other, for relations profound, good, are the people, are the people

are the people, because they're capable to be able to be, You know, today I need a Brasen. Today I'm a

so I'm in a brazen and that you're not, but is that is being bad. Look, my amor, I mean, I'm

like, I'm, because I don't see, today, to the little he's probably, to eat a company, no, I'm

going to come a solo today, no, that's a time, we're not a lot to know, we're really,

we're really to be vulnerable, we're going to we're going to we're going to because it's because if nobody can't

try, because if you it's I'm sure, I'm sure no there's talking about that's about

you're about it you're in a question because what you're going to get to get

to get to something and we get to do it and then we know, we're and then we're and then we're and now

I'm going I'm going to and I'm all right, a heart of that you're saying and fickate

that oh, oh, wow, well, better negotiate it from the first to from the first to make

all the cards over the mess contacto with with good with education

And, look, in this part that we're talking of me solita, of how I'm there where I go, I'm going to work in the vulnerability. No, they're in verguyen of being a bit of years, no they're asking help, to give a brother,

it would be able to defendants, like, kind of caring us, like, caring for sure, we're not even. I mean, we're just, we're not, a humanableness, and you,

for that when you're a other person, oh, if not you devolve, what you're you're doing you're

going to get to get to you're in the way to get your your gran of you know that you're in

other five things. It's very good. That's very good the conversation. We're going to

go back. And when we come back we're going to do that is how work. I'm, you know, I'm, and I'm, and Rannito.

And I do I'm too. I'm too I'm an doctorate. All, Doctorate we're all we're not

we're doing. We're doing it. We're doing it a good Parenthood with the doctor of Belkiskarillo. You know,

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nothing nothing no no detient and We're going for more. We're going to

for being with telemundo. Junctus. Junctus. Once. We're back. We're going to the podcast of Marko Antonio Regal.

We're going to this episode. We're learning to how be, to make a good pair with the doctor

Bill Giskarillo, psychologist, coach of Pairjas and author of the book, how I'm a good

a good partner. So, So, you know, you know, an introduction to how be a good

a good and as you know I'm like that's time to talk we're more more profundity every time.

Every point. But now, how I'm a new a new pair has a bad to look,

because today a lot of that we're what God me mande, that's that's done naturally

I don't do, I'm not what is for you, what is your, what is your what is your

what is your you do you do you You can't? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You can't do that.

No, I think so, I think so, I'm trying. Of course, I always I think, is buskarn, not to find. Because you know can't go to the car and find out of a pair of

your number. Pudyce pass, but the possibility is very bad, the color that you like, the mark that's a good, you

can't find out of the way, but can not be a veryer. So, so, we're going to find, we're to look,

and to look, and to make, we we've known to us ourselves in the first part of the

book, of the program, we're now with the thing of, you know, I want to have a

person, in this moment of my life, I want that I'm a experience, what is a

need a not a thing, not something that's a time, it's a lot of what I

want. For that what is the first that I need, the first, and the

first and the first and the one to start to a model, a of the verb-amar or a model of a

woman, amable, of the verb-amar. What type of man, I that are a woman, me encantary to have in my life to amar-lo. And I'm going to construct the model, paper and lapis, other way, all what I passes for the

head that me is a bellow, a passionate, seductor, I can take, as an example, women of my family, amos, parages that I've

seen my list. And it can be that in some point I have the quantity of things that are, and I'm going to to take the

time to prioritize the first 30 things of the list. 30 things.

You're going to ask you want to the lamp and you're when you get to the

time you get to your 30 things more 30 things 30 things. 30 things?

So, but how I'm in the risk of a list where I'm doing a little

like making to create something to that I'm to that's to

the second part of this task is create a list of

five not negotiables. Ah, I I'm okay. I go with all the first I'm

desawgo, I go to my cartita Santa Claus. And you do you put your energy and you and all you

do you guys and they're and they're wonderful because all the created was before before so it has

been to have passed by our mind then we then we're we're just we're just we're just

in five aspects and because if we're five because we're we're doing we're we're trying to

I'm going to inscribite 30, but not the 30 can't be no-negotiables. And to go. When I put my five no-negotiables, I can't say, Marcos, I want to someone order. But that's between what I can negotiate. Okay. But I, of pronto-to-one a person with vices, because that's one of my non-negotiables.

Sure. Alcoholic, or fumador, drug-addict. And I would say that they're the most specific possible with those non-negotiables, very specific. So, I don't want a number that fume, and that-tombe, and that-t-t-tac-and-and-and-and-and, and it's-plique, okay? So, for that energy is concentre.

And when I know my five no-negotiable, it could be that I'm going to the prince perfect,

divino. The prince Harry. And you think you're Megan Markle. And if me no

negotiable is that he fume and of that prince marvellous he's a cigar. I don't

go to enter in the fantasy of when when he was going to do you, what?

Classica. Classica. A The women They love That's Yes. The men

The women are We're going to change us. So, when you do when you do you do you do you have this

you're not-negotiable, you have a way more clear, of what you want to be all the other that's out of that list of five

non-negotiables we can do do you're done, you do you're getting to docile I'm trying to we can't

we can't do we're doing we're We'll see we'll, but that's you can negotiate. But the vices, no. I'm a

little bit of the mess. Chau, it's a pleasure to know and becite. And more never. So, zero

tolerances with the five aspects that I think not are not because it's a realist. For that I'm a lot of time,

I'll lose my time to you. Absolutely. And fiatty, you, the 99% of the paris

people who have been committed the error in the buskeda. They were different, they were

there were problems of values, but it It's a minute, but things that romp in relations are things that little bit

that's a place and I love that you love to do, and I don't know but absolutely nothing of the ball.

When many things are different between you and you know, there's much stress for to accord to do that

there's a manh budist called Prachnam Pat I'm that said that I'm that's

that are that are the different that are that if you don't see that relationship that

chirreya like the that's Fault a Grapa I'm every

every I'm a every time I'm you know you're not you know I'm not you're not

and a rosa and a rosa and it is going to the relationship so we're going to

not negotiable but when the no negotiable present take the humility the

umelstein and the and the and the and not to get to that woman to come to

that woman to come we're we're going to let's let's let's and let's

and that and that's and that's things simply that are important for me. No,

no, no, no, I'm to say, because, because, for example, I,

I'm, I'm, I'm, and so, and I'm happened, that I'm trying to

get to people, the those, the animals not so they're not so much,

and I'm not me I'm not, and for me it's very difficult to be to be

to come me, and who would be a, who would, it, no,

sense. No. But one, a bit is a bit. And you know, because we're because we're

doing it's because we're not going to be to be responsible and good with us. It's not the little Jesus or

Santa Claus, no see how they're called in other places and yeah, and just you montas

you're a time and you get to give to give to let's say to let's let's see let'sel

a little. And you you had to learn of that so so that from the from we're

we're not we're not we're You not you're not a person that am I like the

people who the world to start a sure, for what I'm going to do you and I'm done and I'm done

many times because, for example, in my case, obviously when you say, when I say, when I

don't know, I'm talking about me and many people that podcast also have those habits of the

foodstice, the market so the market so it, because when you're when you're to grow,

and we've started to start yourself to do to do you to carry to do your way,

to do to do you planet and you're a living a life very specific in a

quite a lot of your values and your care, the market is reduced. Yeah not not are 10,000

150,000 that are you like you, millions, that are you so you're so one of a repent

and say, oh, but if me I'm sure, I'm to see a vegan, or if I'm

sure, to be, you know, but you're to be infiel with you, you're to some

to some to sometimes to because there is stress, what there is this is important

for you. Fiatty, in a conference in Venezuela, I heard a chick a child that me a guy that's a lot of me is that's a tattooable. That no

that's, or that's that I don't, that I mean, that's, I mean, that's, that's, I mean, that's, my person,

because I don't want that's in my life, could be a tonteria, but for that that's a story. So I always don't use,

no negotiable, amen those, accepten those. I have I mean, I want to say to say, I want to say,

I'm going to say, I and if you're Christian or no. And there's, I don't be able to be I'm going to be

a person religious. Exactly. You have to accept to who you're in? For so, for the ser.

For so we're for the first we're doing to us and then we're to go to looker. Because at some things not negotiable,

you're just you're just taut or tont. But, well, it's very interesting. Yeah, the of the non-negotiable is

importantism because that is important because that's going to and definitely is what will cause suffering.

Something, something with the thing to BUSKareja is to understand that a person of the liberation

feminine, a past of all these these movements actual, that are the same level, we're doing the same different.

We're doing different things that are important at the hour to look at a time. In this case, I mean

to mention four that for me are important. One, to the women, for naturalness is it's

easy the retain, retain information, retener, retainer, to have details. And the man, for his

cerebral, objective, of going to do a entire after another, and this has a time anthropological, that we need

another podcast to explain it. And there's like it. Yes. The men do you're very rapid.

For that so is that we're not, we're a little bit of a year of a year of a year, when you

had a car and the carmiss in the restaurant, and you, God, how you know, how you

do you know, you know, because the women we're a facility biologic to retain

information and the women is for you and I we're playing and at the five minutes you you're going to

get to the time you're going to get to the time to get to the time with me and I think it's to get to understand the

women's, our brain works different. The brain works on base to objectives, one objective and the

and the brain. And the of the people of the women functioned in

basis. One second difference fundamental is that we're biologically we're

designed to be we're one. And, I'll repeat, this has something to be with the constitution of our brain, okay? So, don't expect, for example, of a man, that does 60

things, accepten that's a man, do you know, enjoy their own, doing your time. One. One at the best, and there's a problem. And so you're not a thing that I'd say to you're saying to to all my patients and clients, today, if we're supposed of the woman, the women,

if we'd have done to do as much you to be a time a time. We're a very exitousa

and very felices. And if you're to learn to us to understand the details

little little too, also they're much much their world. But as we're

what I want to I'm not that I'm just to learn of the other, but we

want to understand that we're a different. One third difference we're trying we're we're doing

to be a We want to talk with all the world, to share the quote, to have friends in the house, and to be your

but a man when he needs a time to start only, he's in Cueva the man to be able to what he's

going to be so much many times there's a little bit but this type like no he doesn't

he has nothing, because he's not, no, no, he's not, and a quarter differentissima is that we're not us

we're doing amadas when we're neededed. It's for that we're we're not as we're not as

we're doing the door of the bathroom, for if they're they're they're doing the in the person.

In the time those people are people who are people. Yes, it's very important. My

Amor, you're the that's the house of the cocina is the max. Although to

have been made a bitasos and got you're you're But they need to them that they're

to know them need to be heroes and we're not we need to we need. So if we understand these rules basic,

we're sure we're going to be able to look with clarity and we can't find without and we're and as the

don't to be looking. Because I want to get in this like a project of life.

No, if if it's for me will get to me, I'm want to try to try to

in the supermarket, anote paper and lapis, in where in places

could be that model of a woman because it's that you're because it's

that you're it's a specific, you know, a woman, that's the world, that's all the doing a class of doing a class,

that's playing in the show to do you, but at a person, to do you go to the other, you it's Netflix. No, but,

you know, those people that's people people are in clubs of lecture, in the

work, in postgrados, in courses, where are the people, there's there. There are, the gymasios

are a real real not. The gymas have different hours. And there are those

who are those who are the work. Yes, it's an art. But that

is an thing. We have to look at you, we know, we look us we're in

insistence of the more automobile. We're looking the Miser But when it's We don't take this

Like a project of We don't know this We're like a little bit. I'm a friend, Marko, that's you solo. And who's who? It's just to be able to? It's not even though. I'm just a lot. I'm not sure. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm set up. I'm in the table. I'm in the table. we had we asked, ordained the way. For when the mecero they went,

they were were dead. They were and then to get to the time after after they were literally, no see,

eight, 10, exaggerated, 15 minutes to know, he's, he's going to barbara and me

and he's, how you think you're going to you're going to say, no, no, me casso in serious,

and I'm, you're not, no, no, I said, no, I'm I'm not, I'm not, I'm done,

you're doing, the match after after the after the last, Two persons that are in the fundamental.

Two persons that are a plan and not to be that that's a sony in the door. Not is that you amas, I mean,

I'm desagra'd. They're doing a good combination. And I'm here. When I have two two persons in the consult, probably are two

people are but their combination is the problem. It's, it's like a recetta. Asy is.

And it's and it has to do you do you? How do you do you? life is vital. Yeah, we've got to do.

Yeah, we've got to do. It's good. This is good. It's a good. It's very good. So, until there's an, like the introduction to

how to look. Exactly. Yeah, we've seen, how to be, and we're going to do a pause. When we're going to talk

to something very important, that's like, to maintain. Because, Tantto work for to know,

to know, to find, to find, to find, to find, to make the thing. Absolutely.

The part most important. We'll be able to. You know, is the first and unico suavisante

of the origin vegetable of ingredients of animal? Ensohn is a suavisante with aromas unisputable.

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of Exatlon with a reenquentro inolvidable and also a concurs with you could you

can't get a million to seven to six central for telemundo we'll

continue with the podcast of Mark Antonio Regil the doctor Abel

Kiskarillo today in how be to work and to make to make a

good a good a good a good a good a psychologist a co-ofericistist

approximately invited to 10 podcasts more to be able to complete the curriculum. Oh, that's a great idea, thank you

have done I'm going to I'm talking to but, but is that every question is a whole thing. It's all

a time. Yeah, because the love and the marriage is a world, you know, is immense absolutely.

Super interesting. But, well, then just just let's suppose that I'm the person correct,

I'm the person correct, I'm the person correct, how maintain a relation? Because there There's much

people who are listening. I'm a very good relationship. See, the secret

here. The secret to let's the formula perfect is to be with a person with who

functioned these three and they're to function the three and have to exist the three

at the best. Good sexo. Good intimacy. It's the same. Good erotism

to get to us together together, try to be able to try to be able to

let's be a thing. I've caught in this error in

think, oh, yeah, I'm to choose things that I'm, I mean,

I've used to do you know, I'm more I'm concerned with a little bit of a plan of other, but

for what, so, so it's valid to get a kind of there. It's not

we're, we're, we're not, we're a salon, you're not you're a manch, you're a

manchew and there's a little your content biologic to be what woman you attract,

what ember of that group for tone of voice, for how it's a move, for his mirrode, and then when that woman starts to get to get a part

cognitive, with the part of the part of the part of this is, this is biological and it's magical. In 30 seconds those men

is, it's almost instantaneous. 30, yeah I'm tired. I understand, what's what happens? What we need,

in principle, the chemistry, the feeling, the feel, the thing I feel like you feel like you when I'm

and it's and it's the first part of the mess. I think the relationship of a It's a messita with three patas.

Like a tripod. Like a tripode. Like a tricode. First, sex, erotism, diversion, connection, be able to be able to

to be able to be to beertion. Oh, it's like our erotism and our sexuality be a little more

more than we we're parted we're having to see. Oh, and it's that me allegee I go.

I'm like, I'm so I'm so it's that it's that the fact I'm to ador to a

woman, to love her, to love her, to give me to make me to get me to get me to get a lot.

And if I like a lot to beasar and I want careciar, I want to like that those are

those things. You're not are. But if I don't have that I'm not going to have been

in relations where I've been with my heart and it's a great woman but no I'm going to

explain for you. It's horrible. for him and for me? And I'll tell you. The first, the first, the first, the first enganche

comes for the sexual, for the erotic, and I'm un-a- person, and when that's a good communication, which is the second pata the mess. Rear-nors,

understand the chiste, to be able to talk during hours, that I'm, that me appassioning your projects. That is vital. No,

critic, no, no, no, do you. When you're you're a person that has a idiom, of always

pass factures or of always critiqued. Well, that's not what we're we're

doing. It's good communication fluid and different. And the third pata of

the mess are projects in common. From a car to a little

a project enormous. Fiatte, you, with these three patas, this tripo.

If I so I don't have sex with someone I'm so my person,

if I only a good communication with someone is your person, and if

so I'm your socio. But when I'm in the relation correct, I have good sex, me communicable with that person and we're doing together. We're not able. Firmado. It's that's put it so, firmed. And it's possible, the issue is that we have to

work in this. No, we can't continue thinking that God proverer, that me will be able to find in the supermarket, that if it's for me, will get a, we're going to, we're going to do, we're doing this. We're, as we're doing a career, so we're and we're going to work a We're going to

to look a partner. It's that I'm obviously I'm talking about my

experience personal, but I've committed those three errors. I've had been

a couple of a marriage with the sex, but that's all. And it there's

but in the camera, what that's that you could be that that would

be a moment, I'm going to make a time that you only are not going to

talk in the story that's I'm that's I'm that

the communication and the project with this person. I'm

here because it's a moment in my life in the I'm going to have a single or I'm going to have a but I'm

not to be honest. But you're to be honest. And I'm honest. With you. Because you because we're

because we're to love us and then with her. Or she with me. Because there are women

that's not to do you. This is not to this. This is no to do you in my book there's

there's a question that I that the women are more infieles that the women are

62 contra 38 percent. How? because there's the thing of that I don't want to

I'm going to this, I'm like to have the world of the world, the marinoes and the nobio that

does that so it's going to women and then look at the see, see, that's they're real-

that's, that's, that's, that's, that's going. And the other is, and the

other is, to be a person, with someone with that had a great-of- a word,

different- but never I never I'd never I'd never, because... you, were

amos. It was my amy going to my friend. And I said, is that you're doing, we're doing this, but you're

back to do this. Exactly. And what is the problem here? That you're what you're that we're that we're

that's the time? That's, that's a that's a fracassos and not it. Listen, me well, it's a

not a fracass if you know, you know, you're doing that person, you can't make you

because, we're, we're not we're friends, or we're soosos, if this not is

what I I want to this moment of my life, I'm going, I'm honest, and I change. Because it's because it will be fracaso when

you get a when you get a time, when you go to your house saying, okay, it was only the person and I

can't be a social. There's the title of your next book, amantees and social. I'm just.

The doctor Belkiskarillo, amantes, ammachus and I'm going to look. But one, gourd,

the book with illustrations. Of cases. With illustrations and anecdotes. Good idea, good idea, good idea. So, fiatte, that's the first. To maintain a good pair of, I have to be alerted when I have the person

correct to maintain those three arists, that's the tripode, andando, okay? There are moments of the life like, of, of a point, after a part, where, maybe the sex no is to be the nubes, where not we're all right. But the erotism,

yes, a nalgatita, a becito, an preton. Always, we always make the three patas of the mess active in our relation, and that will make the relationship

that's good and that's good. Fittate that I, you, I say this and I'm

a couple of my mother's overseated but my mother was done a years of and I'm

and I'm they're going and they're 80-tantos years, I had 70-tantos and she gave those

and the back and she had her set up her besties she'd get to do his coquet

for him he's got to be at that he was to do you to do you to rasurbererer to

get to they'd and the door and all the and we're now, now as an adult,

I'mt that's, I'm sure that's even so little that's that's, that's

I'm, I'm, I'm, my, my, we're, say, those abolitos

are, so I'm so much, you know, that's, that's that tension sexual.

They're They're not, they're friends, and they're socio, and those, they're all different,

they're all times, they're a year, about, they were, and they were. And their

project, in the case, was the family. Very traditional. Well, even to the dates. Because, like I said,

it was a project a chiquitiko like to go to buy a little bit of a week, like to be a family.

From the more chiquito to be the more great. We have to have a project to work to

together. That's a thing. The project could be not to be not having children and

create a business together, a a university, create a organization of a

business, or just. But we're just, but that we're We're doing, that we're trying, that you're doing, that's the you put, what you, put it, and it's a thing

to talk about, to grow, like, socio. Another project could be, you're, you're, that's,

that's your, your, your, your, spiritual, and that's the project, being, good,

beings, people, just, I said, a time, change of life, change,

of the life, to, to learn, to learn to, to be, it's that, it's that,

it's that we're important, is that we we're No, well, look, if I'm a veganita activist and that we let us aggrossed the man and we stintam

chisps, no, well, you invite to me bo'all. Yeah, we're going to find in my classes of how to look at but yeah, I'll go to work. If you, so you're,

so then I'm cussed, there if you'd give us a recognition. Well. Ah, so second point, to maintain

a your partner, is eliminate, deserrarr, debilitar, the word you're you're the word

the word never you're a word you're a word you're a respect that all we're we're used some of our

parents and that destroyer relations of the actually aaron Beck that's the creator of the therapy cognitive conductual

this therapy is a lot cognitive that are our things and to do what conductual that are

our attitudes we're we're changing my mind and I'm exactly I think I've got results Distincts.

So, he, Aaron Beck, says that the first cause of infelicity in the world, is to use you have to, and the word you should.

No, yeah, is that's that is a problem. It's an obligation. I do the camera because me like to make my camera

to find my recamara but if me said my mom, ask the camera, the camera, I'll,

I don't care I'm trying you know the word magic, that is mom. When I use the words

I use the words I'm you're using to be a mother or your father. Oh, no. And when

you, see to your wife like a mother, you know, you know the first that's the first

yeah, the desire sexual. Uh-huh. In that moment, the moment that a woman me, it was my

mom, I'm a end up, the desire. And in the moment that a man I'm not

put a person, you don't want to question. I'm never, I'm, you know,

more, you have to you have to with your pair which is the point to

to maintain to create devereas in common. Of course you you know you're in what are you

like the dinner? What is the thing? I'm like anything anything else We're going to the navit

and you want to come tamales and arroos and friolito and I want letchon

that is what is what you come in Venezuela. Sure. So I think you you should

you need you're we're going to come to we're going to we're we're just no no

no no we're tamales and frioles because it's more sano. And we can't do the war of Troya. When the parents are in

common, they need create, you know, what we're doing? What we're with the kids? What we're doing? What we're

to bring us? But, never uses. You have to, or you do you have to your partner? Because immediately

you're going to start to romper the relation. And that's that's much, so,

especially in Latin America, no? That we we've to do the mom and the the papas of

our parents. We have to have much careful with that's a one you know, one home run that's another

another, it's other, it's other another thing. So, if all they're doing, all those

who are they're doing to start more happy, to get a better than a lot of

just to just with that word about your vocabulary, they're going to make them to make them

to do you do it, but no I'm absolutely exactly. From from my

liberty of my I'm like you I don't you to go to college.

No, I eliz-o- I'm doing because I'm a good mother, because me makes a good mother, because I'm doing it.

But all should be put in an adult, rompe relations, okay? Amen. And the last.

And very, very important, to maintain a a good a pair of has been with with the

accrued. And the other I did the and I'm working to work, I'm

for those reasons for those people that people that's the people who is a divorceia, okay,

it's separate and even they're they're they're doing they're in the life manage of the

money when I'm going to have to have a person and I'm going to have how we're to manage the

money. How we're in plural? No, it's your money and my money. I know,

I propose a formula that is they've been three presuppuestes that's another

thing, obviously. They're they're three presuppets, the the cost of the

the work, the the money, and the part of that the person can

also. The Amigos, your friends, my friends. Before we

many times. We're a time. What do we do we do?

How many times? We're a tonteria, but much relations are you destroying

because we don't let put them a lot of the technology and the limits.

I've many people in consulta that get from the time, they get in

the iPad, then they're they're they're the first that they're they're

they're they're they're in the relations of partners of the and the parents are

and they're doing. and the partners are if we're going to the time we're the same time. the time at the eight and a minute we're putting all day

with what I'm in the car and at the eight and a minute you and I'm because we're probably part of the only let me let mealymology to bring us the work to house

has to be a discussion as important as the money, as important as the people, the labors of

the hogar, remember that in no book of anatomia says, she has peaches, vagina, she has limpia,

or he has been tetechicles, and he maintains. That's we inventing us us

so when we get to a home, we're going to do a division of

our ability in basis of our ability, you know, you have the ability that you

don't know, you know, you tomas that's a thing previous. And if you're in a relation of a pair of and see that you're in a relationship, very well, a copita of wine and a conversation

to do a regular. I'm happy to laver the tracts, but no, I'm not going to co-cino. Feeh, for example. In an accord, no? Total. Because if the other person has the ability to cook, and he and he likes, and, and, see, you. And when no one of those two does not do not do a party's

a family, a family that wants, a party that want to continue in the time, it's sit and a way, you're going to

put you, you're going to get to put you to get a little someone who's because the objective is our relationship.

No, I'm going to start a place to you cook for you. You're a woman, you should be

to cook and he's a matter. And he got it. He's right. I'm here there.

I'm here. I'm here. And the anatomy. And the anatomy. And the other point importantissimo,

the families of each one. We know that, well, as Latinos, we know the family, the

mom that calls the six of the morning, that they're going to them to do you know,

where we put our families. We're going to be to be able to them. They're

part of our history, of our life, but when we we're when we're we're

we're not a relation of a stable, we have to give a place to do

respect, but a place to our respect to this is other fundamental. And the

ultimate, and no less important that I I found in the studio, for the book, was the cranesa

of the children. There are people that are very permissive, others that are very strict, and when they're in a little, it's a little bit of

because we're doing this. I know that's things incomod, the money, your friends, my family, the job,

but are things that are to agendar to talk to and make, and you know, you know, you know,

you know, we'd have been a contract for, no, I would have to know when I'm going to

do you know how's the time. Something I'm I'm doing you to get to the people.

And not they're not that's not because there's very mechanical no. You know, you know,

you know what you're more when all the more than you get more because I didn't get to get a

because I'm much material but it's goody sorry, sorry me motioned me, I'm excited

it's super complete but honestly of, well here there's like there's like 20

programs We can't make a line only of how a good a good one of the way to be a this is all a curriculum. This is

a good idea of a work. Oh, yeah. But, well, a lot of this is in this book. All right. And with examples and for, for that's

really, they're but super algrano because it's very a legatito in a day. Yes, so, how to be I

a good parche is the book of the author of Belkiskarillo that's available in all the places where

they're in Amazon. If it's in Amazon and is my page web, www. psychospasio.

Sikospacio. And see a Dr. Abelkiskarillo in Cicospatio in Twitter, in Instagram, in Facebook. And, also,

you live in the city of Miami, you're Venezuelana and you have groups, no? You know, you have a group of children?

Yes, we're doing the conference, how I'm a good pair of a new year, to get a to New York, a

Houston and a Orlando. First time that I'm going to move to the first time. I'm very to get a

year. three hours for that people do this work. We know to see them

to seep what they're going to go to get to be a class also that's for the people who

are the mal-cassated to a woman-felis or to mal-cased to a man-of-

we're to learn to be your relationship to live your relationship to and let's

you're you're you're you're so you're so you the same the

one of a good a good a person I'm I'm used to

be used solo. Yes. And they say that every every time it's a little more more

more than you know a bit more about it's a thing to learn we're doing to get us re-educed us because it

nobody us can't nobody's that's not even that's a comfort yeah there there's a

there can't be a part of this in a time of my life and then the other other extreme is

to learn to learn and then so so there's so one one is co-dependency is another

another is completely independent the equilibrium would be that interdependence. Exactly. But those are things for more

a lot of the kids. I think it's super rich. It's me went the time going to be going to. I'm also.

I hope to go back to continue about this and I'll have the good to visit some of

those conferences when a end of the time that I'm because we're because we're because we're because

but much thanks. To be. Yeah we've said where Vylkeskirio is RICO Spacio in

all the social and your site of internet other is www.cifspacio.net.

With an Brascoespacio. With a lot of of the places where most we're doing, love, love,

love, love, our brothers, Venezolans. And, well, this podcast you can't

in all the applications, where are the podcasts, you can subscribe there for that every

time in Markontor an Markontor Regit.com also can subscribe and every every

every every year there gets a correl with our new episode during this third

the time and also they're atenters because we're events, we're we're doing

we're doing so much we're doing to learn and getting together so thank you this was the episode,

how to be a good a good a good like a so like a little bichit

that they'd be bohap and so like it's like every every every

every I said is that's another no if you're no I'm going to Well, I hope you'll go back.

Thank you. Thank you. And thanks to all those who we're listening. Thank you. Thank you. And we're we'll hear about in the

next episode. We'll learn them.