El Podcast de Marco Antonio Regil - 186 - Señales de una relación tóxica - Andrea San Gil

Episode Date: October 3, 2021

¿Quieres tener una relación sana en el amor, el dinero y contigo mismo? Te invito a mis clases GRATIS en:  https://hotm.art/masterclass-2021  https://hotm.art/plataformas-bienestar    La gratitud te conecta con el amor. Únete a mis 21 Días de Gratitud en: https://hotm.art/Sp-Gratitud  Seguimos hablando sobre el amor en el podcast y esta semana la pregunta es ¿estás o has estado en una relación tóxica? ¿Conoces las señales que te pueden estar diciendo a gritos que esa relación no es sana? La psicoterapeuta Andrea San Gil, nos ayuda a descifrarlas. ¿Qué puedes aprender? Cómo detectar si tu relación de pareja es tóxica Cómo ser responsables de nuestras emociones y aprender a manejarlas Cómo saber si lo que sientes es amor o dependencia emocional   Sígueme en: Instagram: @marcoantonioregil Facebook: Marco Antonio Regil YouTube: marcoantonioregiltv TikTok: @marcoantonioregil Telegram: marcoantonioregil.com/telegram   Sigue a la psicologa Andrea San Gil a en sus redes sociales: Instagram: @psicologiasincera YouTube: Psicología Sincera

Aluna this has seen in a relation in where there's you're in

you're in you're a feel like you get a trapado or a trapado or a trapada you're because if

me go and someone more to be able to be happy and this but at the more the more is

so the more it's the more it's like it's like so I've seen as

in the novels in the series in the television in the in the

movies in the the love is because it's because there

there's because there's because there's some we're we're pass for these

problems. Well, that's a relationship a question and I

think that's I'm that you know, I'm in a relationship

toxic where she was not she, and I don't was

and we and we just we and we we we know,

there people there people, there and there well,

in what I'm so, well, well, so well, because

Andrea San Gil that psychologist us is about about

those signals of those signals, how identifications, how is to know how to know how it's time, when it's time to say to God. It's the episode 186.

Comeens us. The podcast of Marko Antonio Regil is a production of RGL Entertainment and all its rights are reserved. Andrea Sanjee is licensed in psychology and is specialized in psychotherapy. It's a great appassionate of the

themes related to the autoestimates emotional and all what has to do with the linkulos affectives in a pair. It's also an author of the book, The Map of the More. we're going to to learn much

with Andrea Sanjil that's in the podcast. Hello, how much? Hello. Hello, to Venezuela. How is, Andrea?

Welcome. Well, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

very, very much, I'm so, I'm very so much that's very that's very very common

is a world. It's has been very common, because you use for chists, it's, it's a toxic,

and you toxic, and you didn't even have to this thing, but today,

today's he's a little with this palabritita or like I'm going

to be to go to get to get to my toxic well well so yeah

that that's that's that is a problem and it's a

very but it's a very that that's that that

that that's to say hey I'm that I'm

in a relationship maybe that's that's another question too

also also an option that is a quite frequent. Well, the podcast has to serve to that's

to give toxicity and to understand well that's the toxicity, understand well if we're that we're going to be that

we're going to get us to a relation with the and I don't think that nobody's a relation

because I'm I'm going to get a because I'm want to do you all we're we want

we nobody. Nobody, but if something I've done I'm going to my profession and attending patients is that many, many times, and even with me

myself, if we're doing a process of a of a conciency, we'd, and it's a little bit loco, what I'm going to say, but we know what is what is what we're happy. A we think that this and this is what is what we're happy, and result is that consigued this and this, I don't me feel happy. What happened here? It's that

I was that I expected to, and many my expectations, or not they're doing, or not they're in, or is that they're in, or is that they're and really not was what I wanted. So, we're trying, that's a time of the

time that's taken, where a lot is suffering, that the love is y'clock, that if no dole, no is love. So, then we're all of those to our relations. So, obviously, the question would, no is normal, or

if it's normal, that the people want to be in a relation that not has felices. That's not normal. Definitely

no, no, we're not, we're going to, not it's something not very,

that's very much, lamentable yeah, I'd say that no, I'd say,

no, this is something atypick, this rare a bit, a person, in a relation

of a person suffering or one person suffering in name of the love,

because I think, why I think my name of the because really the love not is

suffering but the conceptions or the creences that we have about the love definitively that's also I'd

like to say that our point of reference or even my point of reference not been the

novels, not have been the songs romantic of that if you go, I'm I'm muero,

if I'm only, I'm just I'm me derumbo, me desplom, me declom, I'd like that

that's true that's true definitely there's a influence tremendous in all these telenovelas

and films romantic that they're in your experience I'm a question that would be a question that

your experience as a psychologist with your patient, where you you're just you know, that you

know the that the concept of the love and they start the expectations of the

love. Nase knowing knowing naturally but the the the concept

of the love and how I'm I'm in a relationship amort in a that's,

that's a that's so you're and that's you know, it's always I'm always always been

like a passionate for, yeah, but how is that I'm that much many times

we're, we're not we're we're doing to learn to learn to learn to and I'm

to restar me, I'm cost to this, me costa to other but the

fact is this is a education a is a quite inconscient when we we see how we're our creditors our parents,

when we're in the novels, even we're we're doing we're, and then we're we're, we're we're, we

demand us to, our partner, I remember one one of a case that even in my book that a kid,

he said, is that you don't me amas. I'm here in therapy of a pair of because you

definitely, no me amas, you, no me attend, you, no, you don't you preoccupies,

if I'm or not I'm, and it's based on a amount, you know, or a type of

love atensional, that Gary Charman, no-so- I'm saying if I'm saying, in the five languages of

love, we're about the way of to love, and it's incredible, or the language of the language of the

and this much was like a book, like, it's that you not me amas because you know

you know and when I'm the and when you and how you, how you know, was, well, because my mom,

when I was always, when I'd the first that was the plate of food. So it's incredible how many times we're because we're in a relation, oh, or even very good,

but we know we're in a relation in a relationship because we're trying other things. And, oh, oh, also, definitely we're definitely, we're doing a relation

that not us that doesn't make because no, no, does any type of peace or being-stard. Idealiso, even,

the suffering. If I'm suffering is that this is a more of the really. If we're we're

we're reconciled and we're we're we're gonna we're gonna do you know I'm living in you

that's a idea we idealism like in a way the toxicity and we we think we

we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna we've been we're gonna we're gonna we're

to make the problem and so see a feel a real the the relationship we're

we're confusions and expectations completely distortionated of what is the true love. We're never we're never that with this

example that we'll put it we're getting what we can observe, live, experimenter of our relation

because we're we're going to we're going to our own things and without that the majority of the

things that we're not necessarily going to not necessarily have to to be happy. So, demand us, demand us, and

after the demand, the other is can't, because we're asking to our partner, that's like our father, like our mom, or that's like the novela, or that's like the noviour of the family, because the noviour of the

family of the becina and a me no, and we're not, and we're we're getting, that contact or that experience, we, we're, we're one to one. Something also,

also very important, is that many of times we think that the love is precisely that obsession is to start thinking, thinking, and if it's certain that in the

love there's a phase of enamoramoramination where even even is a kind of a stentomatology of a testorno excessive, compulsive, me, I'm

going to that person, me, I'm thinking in that person, me, I'm at the two of the morning, talking with that person and me

and I'm just the first that I'm going to do you know, if it's certain that in the phase of the same,

we're saying, we're the name like, the fanatism, oh, I'm going to despero and you want to talk to me and you want to be there

catchet with catchet but then that phase of enamoramination because the idea is that pass and so will be a more maduro and much times, a reason, it's a way to make a pego

ancioso where if I'm not I'm thinking, no me want, no me will, I'm my first, me the first, me to call me he,

he, no, we love, no we love, when in reality always, always the love is the love is sure you

know the relations are easy we're saying we're saying that's difficult that if I'm the

difficult I'm unacacacable me want more or I want the difficult

or I mean me I like the complicated but the really is that

something that I know my patients is that a relationship a relationship

because it is easy to put us to and it's easy to let that the other's said it's easy to put us to

the color that we're going to put in, no, see, in the salas, while that many the people, a lot of us, we say,

we said, we're going to start we're going, and we're just we're just we're just, because we're we're because it was

like an hilo-pabilo that we're coming from here, we're we're saying, we're saying, we're all, and we're we've

heard the issue, we're even of the, of the discussion, or we're

to get to do this where I'm going to do, wow, no it's easy

to talk, not it not it's easy, not it's easy, let's make a

a conflict. All the thing, all a time. So, the toxicity

begins before to know the person, the toxicity starts from our education,

from what we're so we're so we we're to have to start

being to see, to be what ideas toxic I have I think I'm I'm in

the love I'm not that I'm think I'm I'm not no no no you know you know

you know you do you want to that they do you do you to do

a little there's there's there's there's there's I'm not I'm

I'm to control there so if you so if you're those ideas you

then I'm toxic I'm, I'm, I'm education toxic, for the time, without, I'm going to be a toxic, and for the time,

I'm trying to someone more toxic, too, and is what we're to create. Totally, totally. Even, it's a job of introspection.

I mean, who is I, who I'm that I'm, what I'm, this, what I'm, what I'm,

of the other, really, this person, can give me I'm looking to a person that, you know, I know that all of the day one, I know, I know, but it's that me like a person totally different to me,

and I'm looking, is to change and change and change, and then if the other person can't change, me care. So, a lot of this, in the toxic or the toxic, as if in a relation of a pair, one only would have had the responsibility. But the fact is that we don't know

we don't know, obviously there are cases where this exclude, cases where there are maltreates, there are, cases where definitely, there no, there definitely, responsibilities, compartidas. But, if it's very important,

to understand that always will be a game of responsibilities and partied, because no way of, that I, that I'm the only of the problem or that my partner

is the only problem. Part of, the, of the toxicity comes of the fear, no, I'm in a

relation but I'm with a fear of that's a fear of the mind, I'm a

really, or I'm in a relation that not a really, but I'm really a fear that's

to be a more, or ideal the relationship has to be so we're we're going to be

and that we're not for the life, we're not for the life, then I'm to do

do you put to work. I mean we're not we're doing the love and a a fear enormous,

too, a fear terrible that many times us get to get us in relationships where we're

not we're and are different the causes of the fear. That's me a fear that my partner

to get a person and that person be better. Even if I think a problem, that that

person is not is prepared to have to have a relationship to me a man, and what

say, Andre, what how can't if with another, or what if with another, can't be a new, how can't with another if she's a car, what, how much, what that with another, what,

and, well, if, definitely that I'm feeling like, I'm feeling, that we're saying, but not for the other. We're going to understand that, in some way, this is doing damage. And if the other person

can't, solace, I'm going, that's ego, well, that well, that I'm going to be not, I'm going to start you to investigate it, because many times, no, I'm going to expect that can be in a

long, we're in a long never, never, uh, I'm going to be to be being the responsible of the separation. Because me generates

a culprit, because this person still doesn't know because that's it's a caban the things. So, so definitive

that the ego does a, one has a bad way that the other person can see, and we continue in a,

in a relation. Now, well, with respect to the idealization, something, something is very important is to understand what's happening here now. How I'm feeling, I always I've said, that it's like a kind of a

kind of a sort of, definitely that, I know, I see, I know, I know, I've got this person, with all these qualities, with all these attributes, and a person practically perfect for me, but not me is generating a good-estar,

not me is generating no me is generating good moments and also in the idealization there's much I'm sure, I'm I'm sure, I'm I'm going, I'm

I'm going there, a dialogue of there and promises is that we'll have we're going to do is that we're going to get, but when I say here and now

what are we're going to we're going to what is what is. For suppose the idealization also the idealization

also is a mechanism of defense that makes that the are we're not we're

we're we're we're we're not idealized to our marriage no

there no one one would think if I'm in my five

two things and I am a relationship because I want to get the other person

be more happy if we're we're just we're just we're just we're just we're just

we're we're just we're we're just we're things and ideas irrationales is

For example, idea is rational. The love is eternal. If it's a true love, it's eternal. So, then it's

so it. Pace what pass. I'm going to do. I don't know. I'm only put a candor to my

liberty. This is love eternal like in the movies and here I'm to get. Another is,

nobody me will be to care like this person. Or, no, I'm going to

find nobody more. I'm when I I moved, I had 27, 28 years, I think.

When I moved to Mexico, States, I was I committed in a relationship that not was good not for her

and for me. And one of my fears to end to start the relationship, because we were too, the relationship

was there two, we were in there's a bit of, I'm in a Mexican, in the States

on the United, all the women, are all the people, all the people, if I'm,

if I'm if I'm no, no, no, there's, no, there

nobody more like she. That's another person. Nobody is more good than my partner. Nobody is, oh-ho. And if is important, that's like, if it's important of some way, definitely that I'll choose, conscientiously to my partner. But

something that has a lot of those distortions, is the pensions, it's the pensions. Nobody me will be to care like my partner. And if we say, and the day, if the people are listening, wow, of the fact, how do you? How,

I don't think this too, radical, what do you have done to say this? Well, that me has said,

well, that when me express a more, a little in the idealization, an example

that I always I always always the my gits, all the days me make miggas of pan

and it came a day and I know, me serve in a empadadad a complete

or a super sandwich and I go, this is the maximum. So, I'm over- I'm sorry,

things that even is important to assume that we're in a relation so if it's very important for the

people who who can assume that I'm definitely even I can do a listica of all what

I'm doing and all what I'm doing it's not only it's just it's just I'm

I'm I'm I'm give me damn me damn me damn me don't

this that I consider that I'm I'm just I'm disposed or also to do

to give. And, and, definitely, that if something affect our health mental, our state of animal, is the relations that we have, and maybe we say, well, I can't lead to this companyer of the job because I'm one way in the semester, but

with my partner, convo, I've, passed much time, many moments, then not it's true, oh, that's the thing, now, now all is toxic, now all is bad, now, now, no, no, for suppose that not

it's not. But if it's it's just to evaluate, yeah, I need this this, this a lot

of things and definitely that there are things that I can't negotiate. If you try the self-esteem and you

think this story, of that no there more in the world more than she, then you,

you know, dolaste the manita. So, I remember that Don't Miguel Ruiz is one of

the books that I always recommend that is the masteria of the

love. No, I've Leaded, but well, no, I'll notar for there. He says, that we've invited in the podcast

to Don Miguel Ruiz, he's, he says that we have a kitchen magic, that's that's full of food and of the food

and all right, but that we don't know that we're that we're so we're not we're doing to get a

time, and then say, look, I'm not a food chatarra, to offer us a rebanada

of pizza. And as you not you're not conscious of that you have a cuisine incredible with all the all the nutrients there's all over.

If you, a rebanada of pizza, damme, what I have to do the rebanada of pizza? And that person

to say, ah, well, well, so, then you're to have to get to with this,

this, this, this, and this regla. As you this, and if you not me

come this rebanated, never more I'm going to come in the life.

And then you're mindinging. Totally. Or if no me they don't do. And here not is

not it also to make the self-sufficiency total as a kind of a health

mental for nothing. I feel that the contact with other people and the relations

us are very and they're not, we're sometimes and when it's and

many many times and many we can't in, yes, for problems of

our the proper capacity to calm us, to distracten us, to accompany us. There are many people who are in a mal relation because not tolerant their own own company.

Because not they're in peace with your company. Because I'm here in my house I'm just, ah, I'm coming my one of the unya, what can't do,

what I'm doing, I need, I'm then there's a problem where we don't we don't we don't we're We don't we can we make like who says,

comying, chatarra because it's the first that we're not we can't think and say, yeah, what I'm, what I need, what I'm a

what I'm happy, what is what really, I'd be, for so to say, for so to say,

and a sometimes it's to some to some to be, to let me with our own own,

to be and know, and to to show me to the other person because then then then they're going to the next oh you

you do this movie? A me too because we think we're thinking that if we're in the middle of the same

and rationales of the and if we're both and if we do we do we do we want to and we're

there have some similar there's some doubt something things in common

but if is important to understand I don't need to a my alma gemela, my media

an orange that me complemented for to be able to get a idea of the middle of the middle

I'm saying I'm saying I'm am an an an anarang a middle for the time,

so I'm so much so I'm so much it's a romantic say you're my media

and I'm a new another orange together or a mans or a panela or a pera but

I'm so I'm And if I'm going to I'mendigar love, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to,

I'm going to, I think all in some moment we've passed for that. I'm going to be someone more to get to be,

to get a, for a newbie, me, I'm a newbie, me compared much with my papa, is that my

papa is that my father is that, and I say, it's that I'm that I'm, I'm, I'm trying to do effects,

like I'm I'm not to be to so, and I'm and I'm and I'm and I'm

and I'm and I was, I'd try to to be someone more, of

sure, and when we know, and when we know we a game super cruel with us

because then we're not we're going to get to get to the fact, not,

no, no, no, it's not a question of being, be able, be able to

be able to transform us and we we're we're we're we're we're

And precisely, that's something that's something that has much a lot of the relations today, the transparency. And not is, like, like, so, I'm going, and if you're like, well, caleb. No, no, it's not that's not. Because, absolutely, we can't change,

all definitively, look at this, and I'm here my ladit-to, that, like, like, I'm like what I'm going to do what I'm, but at the same time, this is I, this is I am I, and

and that's good, also, know, we're not, we're not, because we're, maybe, has educated for,

if you're accepted, if, if you're approved, if, if, all the world you say, and no,

all, all, in the life has, I mean, that's, so, definitely that we're,

we're going to get to get a much people, it's important, to learn to recalciled with the not

not to I mean it is a cause of I'm going to say I'm that what's

what I'm what you know what to say well it's all I'm can't

bad to this person and I I can lead with that I can do I can do

do this what you have in common this this and this racquet

with I'm I'm Mconon Regil and I'm I'm

I'm I'm when you when you the things the things

your life, your experience will be like this pelota. And not going to know how, nor why or where, but you're going to get raquettaso for a little bit, for a little,

it's goal, after goal, if no, even have time to recover, or understand what is what is what is going? You've succeeded? You've been

moments in your life in that you're just like a little bit? In change, when you have the tools necessary, is how to be

the racket or more even, as the It's just the racket and you you're going to decide to where you go. That is the difference between that the life you see that

and make that life suede. For that I've created a master class gratuit to that I'm to get you get to get those rackettas and learn to

co-crear your better. You're going to share the seven errors more common that the people commit and that they

can't to get your and to do you know to see yourself. Inscribete making click in the

link that you leave here back to and you When inscribite, also you're going to receive an auto-diagnostic that you'll help to see how you're in the three areas clave of your life for that you're going to be. I'm going to learn and grow up.

Inscribete gratis in Marko-Anonioregil.com, Diagonal, 2021. If you're on YouTube, da click in the description of this video. Well, and all that toxicity, we've been talking about a pair of, but it's in many areas. I can have a relation toxic with companions of

I have a job or with a employee, with a social, a social, I can't have a relation toxic with my mom, with my papa, with my brothers, I can have a relation toxic in my organization religious, in my in my, in my, over of caridad.

I can't have relations toxicas in, in any, in, in quite, in the question of, in responsibility affective, right? This is a concept of the, that's a concept of the, in your, in your social and all. So, tell us if

amplen us this of the toxicity and how to because the toxicity not we have to the toxicity not we need to be the felicity.

So, let us this concept because you're about you talk about the things that you

are what is what is a good and what is a goodable and what is good to identify

it. Well, something that is important. No, no, no, no,

no, don't me put that that pressure of okay, okay, Andrea,

the the With based on your experience, yes, in based in my experience, something important of what anteriorly

the transparency, the power expressing my emotions, the power expressing my desires, my intentions,

yeah me has a person responsible affectively, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, I'm, when in reality, I'm, I'm,

that I'm, that I'm, I'm, and probably more ahead, I'll convince, more ahead. All these

things, it's like one has arrived to where because, well, we're going to we're going to

make, we're going to because, then why not I'm going to make you? If I'm going to

convince to the other person, if I do you're doing this, then basically, basically, be responsible

effectively with our partner, with our friends, with our friends, with our to say the

truth, to say what genuinely we're going to this is like this is a really, this is not

me got nervous, this this is me generate incommodidid and something because we always

about the people who are responsible effectively and of the people that they're but

also we don't know when we put in a limit when we they're what I

want this is what I'm like this is what me and what I'm what I do we do we

do we make and we we not accept that of the other. And I me I like much to say to the people

that the limits is a good way to say in this relation I'm there's a time I'm afraid to say, no I'm going to

go to that restaurant because no me I'm a like a allergy that's I've had said,

I've got to get to make this restaurant with an anti-alertic I'm going to the sound a

one thing that you say, but how how you put you in a integrity and your

health physical for for encasar because then if we're to go to that person wants,

we're, we're not, we're not, we're getting. So, something is being an

honest, and when someone is honest with us and he's to say, maybe something

that's something that we don't we don't we're not, that we're that's to be able to accept it

and not accept it because that would be a kind of oh, if not to say,

look, this, this is this, no me a grader much, but I

know that you're to say, to say that that's because definitely that's

a relation where there's not a there to be to express my

good, interests, differences, desires, desires, there, there, there's a

big vacio, there's there's a disconos and there is there because

I'm to learn my emotions, and to honor what I

feel to be honest, for consequence and respect that. And if I'm going to expresser with the other person, also, I'm going to value what the other person

has to say. And when you know, it's a critic personal. If you know, I don't me like this restaurant. Or no me like when you

call you or not you like when does this that's a retro-alimentation. So, so it's

be flexible, negotiate, but be honest with what you see, and express it and communicate and to

let me give to the other person also that the other person does something, and you

all the totally that's that's usually that's just a normal just like, no,

no, it's fascina, us, has been to make to make us to make us a ton of

personal. And it's very important to say, this is the other, this is my, this is not

me pertain- this, this definitely that, that no has to be with with me,

that you not you do something, it's, that you don't have to be, for nothing, it has to be, finally, with your

good, interests, with your form of, and many, many people imagine that to be honest, implicate a lot of people. So I'm going to be honest, and all my my life is to derrumbar. And, a of some, we know, we know, I don't want to go to this city, a my, or man, a novi, novi, what I see you?

Oh, I don't want to go. I mean, I mean, even, even being honest, to the other person, the possibility also to be able to us always recognizing that each one is responsible of what he'll say or do, or do you.

Be honest, not be maleducated, be honest, is to say the truth, but there's a moment to say the truth and a form of the fact. Because if I me me irritate something you do do you say, is that you're a disconsiderate and that's what I do, no, but, that's not

to say the truth. That's just to to judge and project and project all my things not resueltes in you, to say, hey, Andrea,

when you mention this, me irritate. And you do you know to do in private, to pay your

little. Totally. And there you said something. The language in first person, me irrit.

To me it. It's, it's that for your culp, I'm that is that you

say, it's that we're talking in this moment, in this moment, of the contrary to the

responsibility affective. Oh, no, it's that I bet you the door because you me mirroest feo, is that I did this, and then when we're terminated when we're doing with that victim, culpable,

when we're doing we're responsible? When I can't talk in first person and say, this to me me molest, no, you're a lotstos, this to me no me doesn't, it's that you do you do, it's that you do do you do, and in the

party, occurs much of that. we're responsible to our our pairha, of the way, for suppose, erroneous of all our, let's make,

this, for a casas, of all our emotions, of all our mal-start, but almost never happens that we're doing

a pair responsible of something, that's always for your fault, I said this, for your

culp, you do this, for your fault, I did this, so, so, so,

so, yeah, and what is this that I'm doing this, that I'm culpando to the other? It's that, look, at times, no me

you know, you know, but, yeah, and you, you know, you know, you can't

say, well, to where I want to go to go to go to go to go to get,

I'm, because I have to put your cause I don't know is that you don't know

you know you're assuming when, yeah, maybe, I've elected to a person

to culpard and be in the other, not the projection, be in the other, something that I don't want to do. Something that's and I don't

want to do, but I'm going to do this, for your fault not studied, for your fault no I did this.

And we've lived all the life, culpando, and it's a very comod for the for the other.

But it can't much opportunities. But there we're going to the toxicity is, the toxicity is addictive,

as like the food. I always it's compare with the food because, you know,

this is a piece for my health, but you do you do this a lot,

to do you, to the sugar, refined, to the pan black, I'm doing, I'm doing

a lot of and how it's a thing, Mark, because I've lived, because I

know, when you're when you're when you're, when you and it has been the

the sport, of start you playing with that person and discussing and being to see who can't do the conversation.

Me passed with my mom, me passed with no vias, me passed with friends, I know, I know what

I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm going to this sport. But I know, I

like I like I'm like you a adrenaline of oh, here we come here we're going to

let me say the worst and you're saying the more it's like a more more creative

to do give people to get the conversation And use information that was in a, in a in a, in a context of confidence,

use that information to pay more back more than, no, there's nothing worse than the damage intentional. No, there's no more than that moment where I was, to tell something that was that I affected and in a discussion,

for example, look, look, look, you? That's, you're going to, that you, that's, you know, that's, for that's, you're not, create your father. One a way.

If you you know and you do that you dole much my my papa, I'm

I'm doing and I do you do and then a week and then a question. No,

I didn't want to for that that's that that's that's a boy,

that's that's that's it's a part of that's a lot because when

we're putting something we're really we're really we are really we're there

And there are things for us that are vulnerable. And when that's occurred in a relation of a question our relationship, because even sometimes we think that this is a thing like, well, but it's that was a question of the moment. Yes, but it's a question of a moment, one of two, three times, or three times.

I mean, it's a form, is to do a manner intentional because I don't want to get with this. I'm hereido and I want to erred. And precisely that's the toxicity. It's like, here I'm going salpicking and I'm contaminating all,

like who's who's kind of to little, until that yeah, it's like, well, of who is the person is the

thing is, all this is distortion. And something is to evaluate when we're doing done intentional and

when we do not even when we know that we're going to say, because we're not responsible of what

is the what's when we know that that we going to affect to the other

because is certain that we're talking about about honesty but it's very important

to evaluate something that they have all the relations that the empathy

how this what I'm going to you going to get to you in what

will serve in what will do that I'm that I'm

that I'm that I mention precisely if we're talking about of something, well, nothing.

If we're five seconds to say, in what will pass this, nothing. So, something,

something is to learn to manage our emotions, learn to regular us, to learn to calm us and not calmer us

grittandole to the other. So, there's there, we have to find a frontamient

much, look, me, when I came when I was to do a little

a when I when I when I when I I did a bit with water, me calmed, when I respirate

profound and me desohed, and I pegged a but not so I got to someone, I'm a and I'm desohed

and I'm desohed and I'm because the rabia is explosive or is implosive or because we're talking,

look, callate all you, no grite because I'm I'm not I'm mored the labios,

I'm going to make a lot, or me romp one, I'm wrong, I'm, when we're

when we're about the ravi implosive. So we're doing us down to us to doxious and when I tell you to

your papa is this but is that you this is this and we're talking we're talking about the rabies explosive. I'm and both

conducts can be obviously toxic because one is toxic with the other and one with us with us with us right

there's there's where with our can't get that energy there's

there can't run down in a bike riding uprolaming and lifting uprocenting up

exercise. In the States here are places where you pay you do you're a lot of you're doing a little to pay you

a little a little bit of a chattarra you're going to get to rip things yeah yeah

quarters of desawgo of desawgo so I always I recommend is that we

can we can't we can't we can't a little that we put us there that we can't that we can't

for not to do do not to do this is with my company of

my partner me, I'm generated a lot of I'm in a lot of

I'm in something that is that there's a thing, it's not that I'm parted

a and I'm going to go because then then I die, no.

If it's very important regularn us to be to be there. There's a moment and there

is a place to know to be to be to make to be to be to be

to make my corages and then to then to with tranquillity.

My wife, I could go to to go to the box to the cohen or what or the pariah.

I don't, I'm going to get to that look at my partner or my wife or my mom

or, et cetera. Now, for that someone to get a relation toxic, has a

person to start the game and the other has to get in the game.

So, no could have toxicity if the other person not came in the

trap. Totally. I always I've said, look, no you know you

do the perchero. And it it's it's there and you

know, there there's there people who here, here here

here I'm here, and you get there, it's in that

in that role of Salvador I can I can do, I can't

do I can make to get to and in some

moment this will happen no it is important

that if the other person He wants that we serve us to say, no, this no, this is

a word. Because, even the person can not understand and can say, well, then you know, then not me abas.

Ser firm, no, no, is that not we're doing, it's that this is love. This definitely not is carino.

So, no, so it's very important to concentrate us in to learn ways

to belodable to be that can generate in is to spend the independentsia versus the dependency, no, it's an interdependency. My is better with you, but I know that I can live without you. I see that I can exist since you. Why? Because I have identity. Because I know, because I know I'm

like, because I know my life no girer in tors to my relationship of a pair. So, so I'm not you can't go around to my job. So I'm a psychologist. So I'm a passion. I don't have my passion. I don't know I'm not I'm not I'm I'll go by anybody. No, I'm a hobby, I'm 15 hours a day, because being a psychologist is the most of the

world. No. Nothing in our life, has to necessarily be exclusive and be all the time, without, something important, that I always explain, contact, retirada. Like when we

we're going to visit a someone and we say, well, you're pasted three hours, yeah, like I'm going to go to my house. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, my brother said, the visit has a dream, this, yeah, like, look, and maybe,

the owner in the house that's, like, like, like, and you, and we,

we're, we're just, we're just, and the different, we need to do the, quantity,

then, so, I'm, so, I'm, so, I'm, I'm,

I'm, I'm, so, I'm more, So it's very important not to be in that Sure, because if not it's the famous dependency

and I want to say what are the consequences of having a relation dependent or codependent? No see if there are types of dependencies or of codependences and what are the consequences

for who are who is chint, to be, I mean, I see codependent because we try this deport, of the pleats, of the gritos, of the celos, because

that the more me celia, well more license me does for that you don't know,

that's the that I'm that you know that's a yeah, oh, yeah, then I'm

so I'm so you're so you're not so much. But apart me loves and he cello because

if celos no, there's a mind, but you know, I'm saying a little bit a man,

and I'm a braus and why you're not you're not you present us a good my

place. So I made a scandal and me molestable. But then I said, ah,

well, now that he's a man who you get to be another way, and then I would say to

the other way, and then I do that's a codependency in a a game toxic. So, tell us

a little. Totally. If something has, the dependency not is a diagnosis, it's a

rachgo of personality that a basis can be even symptoms of

Tristons psychological, that is important to to work in psychotherapy. The dependency is a thing that's a lot of important, but, we're going to, we're going to make live infelices. No, there's nothing

more than to give your valia, all your, your, your state of anew, it's like we're the key of our state of

our family, to our and we're we said, identity, There are a pair has that, look, with these colors,

because these colors are the ones that are my pair of my pair. I'm even even to the amissed.

We have a friend, we know, he's got, she's a newbie, disappeared. Look, look,

we know, no, no, he's a person, that's, that's never no,

an invitation because he has a party, and it's that's, he'll forget, that is

other person, in some another another person or, or that can assume other roles as a person

that's what what I was saying. So, something in the dependency is that there,

there are there, there are people, or we're to be people, and,

let us to resumir to gross mode, there's a dependency emotional and a

dependency instrumental. The dependency instrumental is when I depend economically

or in a particular of my partner. For example, those parents

that say well, I know can manage and I depend on her to go, or I depend on her to go to work, or I depend on this person

to buy a talcosa. And, for supposed, that's another as a consequence, more apego, because I don't I can't valer me myself. And it's all the dependency, we're emotional. And it's a kind of addiction to the a pairha, even

many authors about about this syndrome of abstinence that's when the

person is addicts, the alcohol, all these symptoms are similar to when this person

not me contest, then it's like, it's not not a sad, to get

anguptia, a tachy cardia, a sensation of that can't not be not

not can't not be this person not does what I want to what I do you

do, a a lot of things for that the other, like, who's the pica the soil and it's and that is where we're in a way we go to do. What is the relation with someone that's, that's, that

no, it's a trap, it's a lot of it, and it's not negotiable. The problem is when that that person ceded, because he thinks that that that's a to attract a benefit to the

relationship, but when, when will be sufficient? How's going to go to see? Yes, but the

toxicity is, this, this, this, this, this, this is, because,

it's that it's, it's because he's a good, to my ego. So, if my ego

wants to and you, I know, I was, I was, I was, I was a, so I'm,

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I see, I said, I'm, I'm,

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm I was I was there. I remember that I I was recupered I was in the sameocito. So I remember

that I used I was the same words. Me, me, me, an injection and that same formula,

the useable I was about injecting. So, for example, this, I don't know, to say, it's that

when you're about it's, Mark, is that you're a woman comprometito, you know, you can't

be able to, uh, at those, two days, yeah, I'm just, I'm just you're a woman

compromet that's, to where you're, so, and that's a Compromotied and the man Compromited,

well, let's we get him a hug toxic, goody, that just us were

unsecured, those two are unsegues, and the two, I remember that I didn't even do it to be

to be in the back, and I, and I'm, I was, I was, I was, terrible.

And, I'm a one of course, you're you're all pretty, and I'm just to put it

to put me, but you're, you're just, I'm, I'm just, you're, yes, you're the

reason, because there are moments of lucidity in the storm. In middle of the hurricane, there are moments where you say, we're doing, what we're doing? This is normal. This is normal. It's not so. So, it's the odd. That's the horrible. If this is the love,

what horrible. What do you have in common, this and your dreams? Well, this is a pelota of the football American, and it's a sport that has its regals, and if not you don't know, just don't you can't but you're going to expulsar of the game. And that is just what

what's going to do you know when you know where to start. Or your mind says that's very difficult and you're the game most important that is the thing that's the most important, that's the thing. For that I've created a master class gratuit to the one that I want to know where are the seven errors

more common that the people commit and that those arelejews, for that you not do so cedar. The maratia of this is that one of the count, you can create new habits and gain a voice-a-a-vice-in-to-mend to and to get your dreams a pass at the so. So, no, more excuses.

Inscribete gratis now and receive also an auto-diagnostico very simple that you will help to read in where you find out in the three areas clave of your life for that you can't make a class.

It's a great honor that you can't help you to do not you want to do you for a lack of motivation or or a tool and practices

that you can apply to inmediate to manifest that life abundant, plen and happy and the class is

available in form gratuitous and for time limited. So, do you click here about. Inscribetter

now and we'll see right and we'll learn and learn and make on Marko Antonioogel

251. If you you're on YouTube, do click in the description of this video.

And right to ask what the obvious in the right final of the

podcast is how We can't do we do we're to identify to identify to give us to find out

to get us those obstacles more important for the problem with what we need to we're doing we're to look

but I'm three questions to our public that they're before you're to go to this because

there's there's a about there's there's hereon of Houston Texas

or Texas us is normal it's normal question is normal to give in a relation

for not to not care to be be in am I'm I'm important the what you

do you think I think I think I'm my value my value I'm okay okay

here we're doing many things fear that you say a great that

being in a in a in a parentia of not even there

there there there much damage when we we're in a relation

full of suffering where probably will be to

that they're not to permit in a relation in the number of for the kids. The fact that the kids no need a part of uned. Necessing a parent unid, that can't converse, that can't say, that can't create accords that benefit to,

uh, uh, a, a, a, a important, too, is to beavers to, um, to confront, and what are, so it's, it's, but,

but how I saw this, this is this, me does, the, the, the, a fear a serpent and that

you're not you're going to get to get a man to get a the problem, the fears

we're in the fears we're going to get to get to a little a little and

it's very important to understand that, I'm a fear but the the worst

that could pass me is to be in a relation infelis for maintaining

supposedly content the they're because it can even even

the thing I mean, I like to evaluate, and what do you? Normally, I say, that would say, that is, in effect, the people have said, but normally I see what is a what you are

my. It's a what I'm when I'm saying and I'm, oh, that's horrible, and what I'm so I, so I,

so it's very important to evaluate that, and well, I think that the separation is a moment very rudd and that

to talk much things, even of our history, of our life, of our infancy, so,

so it is necessary to consider the help psychological. A sometimes

what's most amos that you do you do you do you, and then

what you do you do you do that you're I always I said, I always

I think something, I'm, the well, desam. It's very important

is very important to know to love and say to love. I'm

because I love and because me am. Totally. And because me am. Fiatte, what interesting. That's not

they're listening the podcast. They're listening the podcast while they're on. Alt.

Escribant what they're listening. Me go. I'm going to be doing. Exactly. Exactly.

Also. That's the well, I think when we the songs are a ruck

a ratic because if we don't We're going to analyze it. We're saying, we're saying, we're not, we're bad with this letter. Okay, Consegues finales,

then, because there's a lot of people, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, there's quite, there's a lot of people that is, okay, me doesn't make clear,

this is a matter of a relation toxic, the more, I'm the toxic, or the toxic, at the more, the two, the problem is that

we're in a relationship that not function. Me, I want to separate. But no I can't

do it. No, I don't know I can't do. What do you do your coaching? What do you do you dare

to someone who you know that's a but that they're and not it's primarily

to work in our autonomy and independence. And start to live with the incommodity no

no no there no no no no it's like

but how I do you do you do something is something

is to be to try to be wow I'm I'm, I did this, and I'm

so I'm so I'm so capable of, to, to get me, to me, mish, something is also very important, to learn to regulate our emotions, not to be to be, to be, to help me,

principally, to work in our project personal, in our own project, and if is certain, that, definitely, the separation is a,

a a salt, a little to the vacuio because is that

after a relationship, the first thing is there is a very

all is important also to learn to think like I'm

going to say, I'm going to think I think that I'm what I'm to think

in my work in my capacities and something that's important if we

can't we can we can we can find in relationships stormentosas and a

sometimes me, they're going and I'll tell them to get them to get us. And well,

for the recommendation is to work for work to work or elaboration when when you

don't you do you do you to share your because there's a think that the suager

that the mom of your is a your therapist and that that person

is that person is that the other person and is being by the other person not is

being for you for more that you am, is a common.

Or, or it a other we're going about about about

my wife and we go to do you know, we're about a

Salvador. So, so you have to a relationship and to

end a relationship, no we have to not I'm

to get to you can get over no, no, there's there's

there there there's because there people there's a mat of course.

But how you like you you get you Now, why

he's going with another? If I'm saying, I'm going to last time, why now? This is a

important because it's something that many people say, yeah, it's going with another,

yeah, it's going and there we're definitely a relation very damn because when

I, I'm a relation, the most important is to be because if no,

o'clock with the attention, a little a other a other relation, and something

very important is that many times when our partner or ex-pareja in reality assault to other relation it has said that we're saying oh, I'm, I'm, I'm just I'm the problem. Because he's just a-cassing. You're still living with

another, yeah, they're living with other, you're the problem? No. All relation needs a moment of duelo, of separation because they're relationing constantly. Also, it's a symptom of the

dependency emotional. Exactly. Well, we'd continue patricing eternally, I hope that you will go back to the podcast very

my dear Andrea Sanjil. Recurndons, I go first that's, and remember us in where can find you

the people to find out of you to get in media social and learn more. Thank you. And, well,

me can continue in all my media sociales as psychology sincere.

Asi, as you, tal qual psychology sincere and well, a really a pleasure.

This thing definitely is very ample. So, I'm that, well,

all this information you'll help and us serve. That is the, like who says the major regal. From California

to Venezuela, you know a for you, for all your people, always, always, always,

and I'm saying for the most alt-vien of the Venezuelans that are in Venezuela and that's

so thank you. Much. Thank you. Much. thank you. I hope. I hope. be always conscientious

of the emotions that we're we're present and that other person has present nobody can be able to be able to

make make we can't earn those emotions and see something and it's not going to avoid sufferments and necessary

and be capable of with honesty with an love but with an opportunity with the

other be the assertive be assertive express a what no is functioning and express

what We learn together to build relations based on the liberty, in the love, in the respect, not in the control

or not to attract a someone. Dehemes to think that the songs romantics and are the

are the are the school of a more, that's the is the heart or the

hearton or the ego about. It's entertainment and it's beautiful

to be it's a moment that but not we're take us, we'll take our

class of personal. The respect the love and then it's with the other. And I'm

despid with a question of Walter Rizzo, that I'm that I'm you want to

you want to do you need to, I prefer preferriter preferriter I, prefer you,

my mind, my decision, my voluntat means that I'm, because I want to

love to because I love to love to. From my liberty.

Fiatte, that's beautiful. From my liberty, what we said Walter

Rizzo, the I'm sorry. Thank you am to this podcast. If you know,

you're on the applications of the podcast, subscribe. Subscribe. Five

Streyes and a reseeing. It's a little this episode with your time.

And here in YouTube, give a like to the video, leave your comments, tell your

what was the most important that you know, and subscribe to get to get

to get to get with the with the notifications also. So that also that's also us helps to so that's

getting each time together together. Thanks. After the next.