Emergency Intercom - 2017 was 15 years ago

Episode Date: December 27, 2024

Drew thinks his parents are attractive that's weird. does anyone even read the description of the episodes. does anyone even care about me ? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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so much to say so much to say so little freedom there is a lot a lot going on in our our personal lives that if you're dealing with some similar shit, you know, the vibes. Just know you're not alone with the family drama. This too shall pass. Me saying that to myself for the past decade.'m like this too shall pass i mean but it passes every single time that's the crazy i know the things i used to worry about like they're not a they're they were a blip in the fucking timeline and it's never ever that deep but like in the moment i literally feel like everything is gonna crumble crumble and burn and i'm going to die and everybody i know and love is going to die um but it passes and everything's okay so just remind

yourself that in this moment you're gonna be okay we go i feel ball rug oh it's my brother's rug also this table's messy oh i was gonna say you look really good you look cute today i love your hair i haven't washed my hair in five days ew um well i said or not i said something i was thinking in the car because i had seen a video earlier today that this older woman didn't know what chat gbt is like this girl's mom didn't know what it was and she said like by the end of it she was starting again she was like oh can i ask him this advice and i was like first of all it is crazy because i do the same thing like i always think of chad gbt as a man and it is rooted in such misogyny and all this shit but if you really think about it chad gbt is a girl as fuck like what do you mean you are constantly looking through my fucking phone you are keeping tabs on everything I do. Everything I say. Everything I like.

And then you're casually bringing it up. No, the answer to every question. Yeah, like casually bringing it up as if you haven't gone through my fucking phone. Like, you went through my phone. You're a girl. Chat GBT is a girl. That video I sent you last night, Enya, of like, I don't know if this is relatable to anybody else. But people who came from interesting family dynamics.

I recall going through my parents' phones all the time. And I needed to know if we were a happy household. I would go through every text message, every conversation between my mom and my dad have been scarred a few times. I just needed to know. I wanted to know. As a kid, my dad... My parents are hot. Like you think they're attractive?

Yeah. Oh. I guess I think my parents are attractive too. Like my parents are attractive people. But it's like how they made me. I'm joking. I'm just joking. No, no, no.

I mean, like, because it's I don't mean like I find my parents attractive the fuck. But I do think about it. I'm like, damn, people have to find my parents attractive. Like my parents are good looking people. And they made me how they made someone this gorgeous. I'm not kidding. It makes no sense. But tell your dad to get that bussy over here

get that shit to granbury texas you can't say that to him because you know he likes those jokes with you too much and like you give my dad an inch he'll take a fucking mile like the fact that and he can take this mile around the block you're cooked you literally i'm not kidding you can't you know you can't joke with my dad like that because then he just calls me and says random like shit that i'm like oh that's not your friend don't say that remember when he called me and he was like i met this guy who reminded me so much of drew the guy seemed nothing like drew the only thing about him that was like drew was he was gay and had a purse and i was like yeah that was his that was his vibe he was

like oh it reminded me so much of Drew and it was a guy with a purse oh my god I have an aunt who was asking my dad and was like you don't think that boy likes Enya and he was like what boy and he was like the boy she does all the videos with you don't think they like each other and then my dad was like i'm pretty sure like that no like i don't think they like each other and then my dad had to like tiptoe around and she was like is he yay and then he was like and i was like yeah as far as i know like i don't really like i don't ask like i don't know because my dad was just not about to be like he's gay he's good like it was just a funny back but my aunt was really convinced that you were low-key plotting on me she was like

i've been i've said i've been plotting for a decade i'm not kidding i'm in it for the long run like nice guys finished last like everyone in my family like is so confused by our dynamic and they're like are they like in love like yes but are they like in love love yes yes yes but no but yes in layers oh my god in yeah okay so you know i've been complaining about my eczema for like the last few weeks like every time i go to a cold place i get eczema on the insides of my arms and like it's every year around the winter time and it sticks until the spring comes around i don't know what the fucking vibe is i'm assuming it's just dry air or cold air whatever the fuck i was so fed up with it the other night i was like the lotion isn't working

like it puts its lotion on its skin like it puts its lotion on its skin it was not working so finally decided i bit the bullet and i was like you know what i'll i will test this old wives tale um and see what the vibe is and i took an oatmeal bath for the first time ever in my life i swear to god it cured it overnight i'm not joking it literally cured my eczema on my arms overnight because i took an oatmeal bath and i squished the like oatmeal juice which no one told me it literally looks like pre-cum but i like inside of my arms and just like basically use it as lotion and it fucking worked so that shit literally works i don't know if it's anecdotal or not but like i swear it worked for me i mean i believe it because the only lotion i can use on my body

that doesn't make my skin feel like it's being torn apart is oatmeal based lotions but even that i'm like y'all have to be putting alcohol or something in this like there has to be something in this that's like not good for me because it still makes me i wake up and i feel like if somebody went like this to my like knees it would just like my skin would fall away i was gonna say i did wake up with like like my back literally being like a block of sandpaper like there were these like bumps all over i could like itch it off like i scratched all the bumps off but like i wonder if it was just like um because see i don't fuck with oatmeal like if you are somebody who eats oatmeal you are fucking nasty to me i am so sorry i don't give a fuck i know it's like such a staple thing for everybody the texture of oatmeal literally tastes like if somebody hawked a loogie into my cereal that is what oatmeal is it does

taste like a sneeze it really like it tastes like a sneeze bro that shit does not taste good and also like it why is it great i feel like no matter what y'all be doing the most like putting your fucking like organic almond butter and shit and it starts to look gray like starts to look like gray matter it starts to look like um infant diarrhea but overnight oats is a trend that i really thought i could get behind i really was like oh like this is something i can do every day and eat bitch i had one bowl of it and it was the most vile rancid shit I've ever put into my mouth in my entire fucking life and my mouth has led me to some very very dark places let me tell you that much and that is at the top of the the evil the evil tier the pyramid

tier but I just I'm such a texture person for food i've realized like it has to be specific your hair looks like gorgeous today did you do something different i forgot all of my hair products except a mousse but my hair just is a vibe and yeah i need to go stand around outside because when i get that humidity in my hair like i haven't been outside today but when i get that humidity in my hair every time we do a zoom episode i fall in love with you a little more thanks it's also because like i can't help but if there is a camera or a reflective surface i will be looking at myself and just subtly like capture your angle like i'm literally like i'm trying to be so natural and i'm like i do the exact opposite in you where i see myself and i go i'm so puggy i'm so pug did you see that edit from trisha talking about us again and i'm so

sorry i feel like there's like this ongoing back and forth now and we seem too cool to go on the podcast, but genuinely we are not only so busy, which I, she did acknowledge, but also cut the camera. Like literally my mind, my mind. I literally, I, at this point, I can't tell if I have Od or if i'm really bordering on schizophrenia i can't lie the past few days like my thought process before falling asleep i think i wrote it down explain what you were just saying because that sounded like cut the cameras to trisha and oh oh no i'm not saying cut the cameras to trisha i'm saying cut the cameras to my brain that's also like i feel like i haven't been on a good one and i want to go on that podcast and literally be like

i know i feel the performance of a lifetime because for her like being on her podcast is going to make me us feel how she probably felt before she was on snl does that make sense like level of anxiety and like i need to perform and i don't feel like i've been able to perform so that's why i'm like cut the camera also wait no no she also was like oh my god yeah they're like gorgeous they're beautiful like inya's literally a model like inya's so hot and a model and she's beautiful and drew well okay true too i mean listen let's count the campaigns babes yeah that's true that's okay i'm i'm literally not also when every time she says i'm like oh i literally i go into a shoot and i serve the same exact face every single single fucking photo

we have a really cool shoot coming out like a couple cool shoots coming out where we're giving like we're giving what the girls wanted we're giving the fantasy the straight fantasy there is specifically one shoot in specific that I'm like okay

like now it feels like we're pushing it like now I can't even get mad at my aunt for being like yeah what's happening because she's gonna see those pictures and be like right see i told you i told you about who did it better um but my brother was like talking to me about us and i was like yeah like uh i i told them the big news what we just found out the other day and he was like is she like is she in love with you like are you in love with her like like what's what's the dynamic there and i was like i really don't have the time to explain it to you right now babe like it's the nuclear family why is everyone all up in my dick and balls like stay out of my fucking business like i know i'm

like bro y'all have like that's how i know y'all aren't really about this found family shit like you claim you're about it but you're not really about it like when i think of my future i genuinely think of being with my friends and being old and getting high and like watching their kids play around in their front yard. And then when I think of getting old, I think of doing a bunch of opiates and Inya taking care of my opiate addicted body when I'm like 70. Oh, we're going to need a caretaker because I'm about to join you. You're joining me. I'm tapping in. I'm going to be like, you know what that does look fun like let's go let's take a trip after i'm old and decrepit and rotten i feel like i can get away with whatever i want yeah 100 because i feel like for the most part i was talking about this recently with somebody

because i think at least specifically me i look back on my teenage years and i always think i should have done more bad things like i should have been more of a reckless teenager i wasn't nearly as reckless because i'm just such an anxious person and i've always been like no what if something happens well you had reasons yeah but i was like always scared and i had to be a responsible parent so i like couldn't do that and now I feel like I'm about to turn 26 and I'm starting to feel like that about my twenties. Like, I think there's only two solid decisions that I've made as a 20 year old where I'm like, that's kind, that's such a 20 something year old decision. Like you're so crazy girl. I have maybe 20 minutes worth of speaking to do in my 20s that are like i was crazy other than that it's like and you know you you're thinking about it all wrong our 20s have been

the most obscure random weird fucking like absolutely batshit crazy out of the norm like 20s anybody could ever fucking have and like i think your 20s are like i should be like having doing s every single night with a new person and i should be doing all of these drugs and i should be doing all of this shit no no no no that's bad that's gnarly i think there is room for some play some play on both ends but like I don't trust that shit and I like I really I really don't trust that shit now like I am so scared of everything no I didn't mean that I meant like why haven't I had like four situation chips on iPhone at one time I am sorry and I'm really not trying to center romantics but I think I'm just spoiled at this point.

And I have, like, all of my fun love from all my friends and family. But, like, why do I wake up to a dry as fuck phone? I'm literally. That's your fault. That is your fault. You don't text nobody back. Oh! You don't text nobody back.

Yeah. No, but, like, come on. Seriously. Like, when's the last time i had to text somebody i was like oh let me make sure i texted the right person because i'm talking to like four people at the same time like literally me yesterday i think it's just my like innate nature as a woman to hunt and gather and that's what i want to do with people who are obsessed with me. But I don't. I don't want to be. Wait, a woman's need to like decorate the house is like epigenetic hunter and gatherer fucking shit.

That's what I'm saying. Like, it's the same thing with like people. I'm just like, well, my DNA tells me I'm supposed to assert community and family. And maybe, yeah, part of that community is just people who want my hole, who will never receive it. But, like, the fuck? Like, seriously, what is the point of living if nobody is, like, no one's fiending over my hole. Like, no one is, like. I'm right here. I'm right here.

Been here for 10 years. Did that happen this 10 years i think so who wants to vote who's registered oh me one friend who's too woke i love that meme so much so wait i just need to show that what were you? I was going to say she's so fucking funny. She's really advanced. But I do need to show the people that I'm not ugly. It's just the headphones. value menu enjoy the new spinach and feta savory egg pastry or our roasted red pepper and swiss pinwheel starting at only 2.99 plus tax try one or try our full tim selects lineup terms apply

prices may vary at participating restaurants in canada it's time for tim's you're so annoying like you didn't look ugly with the headphones on no no my face just looked like three inches too wide i mean i know what you mean every time i had have headphones on it gives me like head dysmorphia like i feel like it morphs the shape of my head like see look it's like it's almost like an optical illusion yeah so i was fingering my ass the other day and uh i pulled it out and it was covered in poop bitch what the fuck emergency intercom even about i know uh well i saw a girl on tiktok talking about how she went to a raccoon themed restaurant and she was getting her food stolen by raccoons i'm like first of all let's call it for what it is call a spade a spade that is a

restaurant with a raccoon infestation and they are making lemonade out of fucking lemons there's no world where someone was just sitting around and was like oh my god you know what sounds lit if we invited a bunch of fucking raccoons into our restaurant where we have to serve our food also how is that legal it's probably not it's probably in fucking serbia or some shit how easy is it to get rabies and also how bad is rabies like is rabies even that fucking serious rabies is horrible like you get it and you have like a 90 chance of dying and like your death is like you're fully lucid and awake the whole time and you know like you're dying and your body is just rejecting water like if they bring water into in front of your face you start you know like you're dying and your body is just rejecting water like if they

bring water into in front of your face you start like hissing you're like get the fuck away from me get the water away from me but you're like i always thought rabies was just like something they kind of exaggerated for like over the hedge no no it's it's really gnarly like it's i think it's like pretty difficult for people to get but if people get it like you're cooked you're basically done like there's no coming back from that let me see if i can order a strand uh i want to smoke that rabies like low-key i just smoke some rabies like i want a strain called like rabies glue that would be crazy yeah but uh the raccoon restaurant is like a scam just like airbnb cats are a scam because you're basically paying in someone's paying to stay in someone's house to house sit their cat like no literally like i am paying to do your job i'm paying to clean the litter box because if i

don't i have to suffocate from an like ammonia smell in here for the next four days also i'm sorry unless airbnb reaches on decides to pay me like if that's the case y'all never fucking heard me say this but fuck airbnb airbnb is the biggest scam ever like it's it's equivalent to kind of the uber thing i was talking about how like a lot of ubers recently just stink. A lot of Airbnbs stink aesthetically. Like they just look like they fucking stink. And I'm so sorry. I just, it's like when you're going apartment hunting and you think you found the best place of your life on Zillow.

And then you go to the place and it's like genuinely what the fuck am i looking in and also how is it legal for people to live here and yeah i will never forget that house that we thought we were gonna move into and it was straight up demonic energy i'm not kidding i don't know if we ever talked about that on here i don't think we did we went and saw like a house that like it was perfect in the photos it was huge it was like literally straight up like compound vibes like and it was cheap as fuck and we were like dude what is the issue like what is the issue like what what's the catch here we pulled up i'm not kidding we walked through the threshold and i swear to god it was haunted by ghosts and demons like we left immediately we need to talk

about the fact that like a couple like not that much older than us showed up to show the apartment with a child who is not that much younger than us like she was younger but she was like 16 the couple looked like 30 so i'm like okay honestly that's a vibe like i'm not judging teen parents that's a fucking vibe but the parents low-key seemed drunk they both had drunk as fuck drinking out of that stanley yeah drunk they both had oh no stanley cups drunk as fuck drinking out of that stanley yeah they were like drinking out of stanley cups and they were kind of just not talking to us and walking us through the place they just opened it up also the mom was wearing size four jordans i have pictures of it i won't air her out for her own privacy but it is

quite literally the silliest silliest thing i've ever seen it was so awesome also the daughter like was running around the house and hiding around corners and genuinely jumping out at us so the vibe was already odd and they were late they were like 15 minutes late so we had been standing around this house also the neighbor spoke to us and was basically being like yeah like this neighborhood is very quiet and i don't want college kids living next to me and we were like okay that's okay we're not college we're not college kids and we're gonna be loud as fuck on purpose now like literally i'm not kidding when our next door neighbor it was beginning of covid pandemic i was cleaning the house and i had a

speaker in the house not even playing that loud when she came over and would like banging on our door and was like shut the fucking music off I literally oh my god I literally crashed out like I I've been in a perpetual crash out state for like the last month but like that was like next level like I said some really hateful things that i don't say to anybody like i've never even said it to another person since like it was really really bad um but don't fucking play with me like and you know what i did the thing is like even the people in our building even the people in our building don't complain about noise so like how are you in a completely different building next door it's not my fault this building was made in 1803 in the wood or the glass of the windows is actually like drinking cup glass i'm not kidding the

windows in our apartment i genuinely think if i like flicked it hard enough it would just shatter okay i do want to say um where the fuck did the co-cat girlies go the cro-cat girlie like i swear to god i couldn't turn in my own house without seeing 36 co-cat girls just like chilling there where are they at like where are they at like what did they morph into like what was the next step um like village people core i don't fucking know like uh like pilgrims town core yeah like the uh it's old but it's still bark i love that picture you mean the gun that's like sitting on the guy's lap and he's like who the fuck are you gonna kill thomas jefferson yeah it's old but it's still bark i think i said this i can't remember if i said this on the last episode but we need baptisms for non-religious

people yeah like i want something like that but like because i wouldn't say i'm not religious in the sense that i do believe there is a god i i have no specific dimensions there's no vision in mind i don't necessarily have a pin i couldn't build you a pinterest board of what my idea of religion is it's very it's very abstract and also what i mean by that is i only think about god when i'm actually terrified um but i want i just want a baptism like but nothing crazy i just want to be dunked in water by somebody i really just want an autism like i want to be dunked in water i want an autism like i really really want my priest to put me underwater and splash the holy water on me like i really just want to be autism i think you're mixing up baptism and autism those are uh like really different

yeah i think i think i did going to the mall during christmas time is the equivalent to i can't even think i don't think i've experienced anything no it's uh the equivalent to like doomsday beach like that harry styles movie where he was like running around at war or whatever the one trisha remade yeah like that it's literally the trisha paytas music video like yeah like it's really it's it really you have to be like on the same mental capacity as a marine if not higher to go to the mall within three days of christmas and that's all i do every year it's like without fail also i guess by the time this comes out oh my god by the time this comes out christmas is not only done but it's the last episode of 2024 this year has been scary well the good news is i feel like everyone's in it together i don't know a single person who's like this has been the best year of my life i've

yet to meet somebody who has positive connotations to the year 2024 i was gonna say the last oh i was gonna say like it's because it's an election cycle like no election cycle years are good but 2016 like not to be an old head like if you weren't and then like really like there was something about 2016 like it was really giving this vibe like literally being drunk and listening to the drake future album like yeah it was a vibe it was that vibe but you know what i'm like i think i'm resting on the delusional optimism because this year in terms of politics it feels more intense and scary than 2016 but like i don't know i feel like there is i feel like 2016 was so good because there was a togetherness especially for our age range for the first time

where it was like we were thinking about like people's like moral ideas like their ideas thinking about people like yeah literally just like thinking about people looking at the people around you trying to really realize and dissect why the people around you are good for you and like who maybe shouldn't be around you and i feel like because also 2017 2017 like that was too lit so i'm genuinely my spiritual psychosis is telling me that 2025 is going to be awesome and i'm really scared because I did go into 2024 thinking it was going to be awesome. And then God say 2024, regardless of that shit was iconic.

Yeah. Regardless of personal life, like work life was awesome. And I'm very grateful. And like, also I feel like community building was really good but personal life it did feel like I think somebody put a hex on me I put a hex on you babe but the hex is low-key fizzling out but also the hex is fizzling out in the way that the hex is my

OCD and it fizzling out is my Prozac yeah the hex is low-key in its flop era yeah the hex is my ocd and it fizzling out is my prozac yeah the hex is loki in its flop era yeah the hex is not serving yeah like yes every day i still have my three hours of pure fucking panic and dysturbia um where i'm really convinced that everything is gonna fall apart but i was thinking about in the car and i was like bruh it really is just my ocd because my main issue is like with the way i love the way i act the way i guide my life is i am so terrified of things going wrong that i want to control every aspect of every moving part you just gotta let go and i need to back up and just be like, listen. C'est la vie. Like, no more this too shall pass.

I'm on a c'est la vie wave right now. Just like... Viva la vida loca. Living la vida loca. Living la vida loca. Also, I need to tell this really funny story about my little siblings interacting. Because they're just at that age where they're like teenagers and they crack me the fuck up. But my little brother,

Leo cooks like he's, he's 14 and he knows how to cook, which like him cook now. I know kind of embarrassed me because I'm like, I can't cook. I'm not cooking you anything back. That's actually so cute. He like got that from your dad. Like, I know. Look, he, wait, I can show cook I'm not cooking you anything back um that's actually so cute he like got that from your dad like I know look he wait I could show you a picture he made me he made the family steak

and mashed potatoes like mashed potatoes from scratch like he boiled mashed potatoes and did the whole thing um and he asked me if I wanted to eat and I of course said yes and then he it was me my dad and him eating because my mom and sister were out doing last minute shopping and he cut my steak up for me and he didn't cut my dad's steak but he was like do you want me to cut your steak why did it

potatoes look lime green hey brat potatoes not too much on my brother's potatoes bro not too much not too much no they literally do like green because my parents like i'm sorry like i hate to air them out but my parents are just at the age where they really fuck with those fluorescent ass lights in the house and i'm like

bruh it is literally it feels like i'm at the fucking dmv when i go into the living room no no no no no your parents do like vibrant fluorescent white lights? Oh, literally yesterday. I'm not kidding. I had an encounter with it. Wait, but backing up to like, I just need to say this. Inya's dad like whips up in the

fucking kitchen, like straight up like chef vibes. I just have to put that out. Yeah, my dad. That's my man. My dad used to be a chef and is still a really good chef. And I learned nothing. Mm-hmm. Oh, but wait.

Before I forgot, he made me steak, which I was excited. I know, I know, I know. Well, this, guys, this is my last one. You will never see this ever again. Also, the color change is really gross um wait um okay alpha bruh um my brother and sister were talking about it like two days before because my brother was talking about how he cooks i was like wow like you actually cook that's kind of crazy and i was asking what

he cooks he was like oh i really like cooking steak and i was like that's cool like i never cooked a steak in my life and then not that he was like brah his steak tasted like fucking rubber last time he made it that shit was so bad blah like going in on him and he was like it's because you don't know how to fucking eat steak bro and then they got started going back and forth and she was like and then he just breaks through her talking he goes and yeah she told me to cook it like chicken what the fuck does that mean and then i was like actually what does that mean and she was like i wanted him to cook it and i wanted if he didn't tell me that it was steak i would think it's chicken and i was like i don't think you understand the texture of steak it was never going to taste like chicken.

And Leo was just like, what does that mean? Like, what does that mean? Like, what does that mean? Like, he was just freaking out because he was like, I couldn't. Like, you want your steak done, like, so cooked. Because she also was like, I don't eat steak that has red in it. Like, what if I fucking die? Which I agree with.

But it was just, it was. I'm sorry to be there wait let's let let's fucking address that real quick this whole like anti cooked through steak agenda like i'm over it's tried like i'm sorry i don't want fucking nasty like blood and guts and like gross shit seeping out of my red meat that i already don't want to fucking eat i'm eating it because i have to i've never once been like well i want a steak right now like what no it's because it's put in front of me and it's someone else's cooking and i don't want to be mean i'm sorry i don't want it to be red in the middle i'm sorry i want it to be well also when you when

it's sitting next to potatoes and then like the blood leaks out and like it dyes the potatoes and now you're just having like weird like pink potatoes. There's some people who really fuck with the steak. There's just something so crazy about cooking a steak at home. Like, first of all, now your sofa smells like Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Like now your sofa smells like cheesecake factory yeah like now your sofa smells crazy like the air a steak in the house being cooked like i'm so happy my brother cooked that for me but i will say he was heating one up for our mom later in the day and like he was doing it the proper way and like got the pan

back on everything i was like oh the smell of this. It like leaves like a layer of oil and grease all over the house and also on my face. And like also we need to have a conversation about beef tallow moisturizer. I saw this guy that I literally think is one of the funniest people in the entire world. But I'm like forgetting his name right now. But he made the funniest video ever about beef tallow just saying like the one line that stuck with me, but it was like, if we have to question whether a product that goes on your skin smells like beef or not, maybe we don't use it.

And it was just like, it was like a huge realization for me where I'm like, yes, like at least like the men are taking care of their skin, but like at what cost? Like they're putting literal. Also just fucking barbarian all for what? So you don't have to be seen in a fucking altar Sephora.

Get out of my face. Also, where the fuck do you buy beef tallow where do you buy that because i don't think i would trust that off of a delivery truck a lot of y'all were fucking ordering that shit in the heat of the summer and it was sitting in the back of a truck literally boiling over yeah no it was like and it does it like melt i have to find this guy's name because oh jake uh jake cornell his beef oh he's so funny i think i saw that video he's really really fucking advanced like and he's been on like a banger run lately like he's re-entering his like uh generational

run arc um well where you win hyaluronic acid dropped you've tallow moisturizer saravay was there um saravay has always been there like it's okay bro that's just it's just too much also the way in which we went from people being worried about kids doing like the hot water challenge and throwing boiling water on each other. You could get on TikTok and you could say anything. People are so afraid of aging. Grow the fuck up as much as 26. Like, I don't I don't fear aging for like my looks and my vanity because i am sorry as insecure of a person as i am i genuinely think i will get hotter as i age

i've accepted that like tough burden to carry but yeah i'll i'll get sexier as i age like i'll carry that on my shoulders a lot of y'all i could get on tiktok right now and say that at the end of the like day i take my dirty socks i soak them in hot water and i dip my hair in it so that it will grow and i would put so much money on the fact that someone out there would do it and then placebo themselves into thinking it works i literally just saw something like that where girls are now putting their baby's ass ointment all over their face before bed. And I actually look you want to try it because it's apparently like zinc oxide or some shit. But really, like we don't need to be putting everything on our fucking faces. But something I have been doing recently that like low key is it's not like a

TikTok trend. It's something I discovered on my own. But I after you use the restroom when you're on your period, I go into the toilet or I mean, into the trash can next to the toilet. I take your tampon out. I wring out the like, I mean, you leave your tampons in for like 48 hours, 72 hours sometimes like you're always on the verge of sepsis. So it's like even even better rotten and i put that on my face before i go to sleep and that's how i get this beautiful beautiful glossy skin um but it can only be with someone you love because your periods are synced or something the science i haven't gotten down to the bottom of it yet no i'm not kidding if you oh wait like i don't know i just miss i miss when people were doing crazy shit like that beef tallow honestly the more i think about it i'm glad we're having this

discussion because it's really opening doors in my mind right now but the more i think about it i am like oh it's annoying the things that pick up. But I want... I want blue whale challenge. I want hot water challenge. Yeah, I want the eating the tampon challenge. Like, I cannot believe we really saw a girl just chew on her fucking tampon. I need the Tide Pod challenge. That's our Divine.

Wow. That is literally our Divine because Divine ate dog shit she ate the tampon wow cultural movements and art or intertour repeats itself like two fucking idiots beef tallow is a little on the cusp of um or eating eating dog poop is similar to using beef tallow that's what i meant to say there's a drone oh hell no beige babies so let me talk about that for a second so a beige baby is a baby that was raised inside of a beige dungeon like those rooms that have no color. It's literally just wood color. There's no color. There's cream, there's white, maybe some gray. And that's really as far as it goes. But the beige is a big part of it, like my sweater. I really want to know the societal implications of raising a beige baby. I really think it's gonna do like damage to the

fabric of our society because once they see colors for the first time they might actually all develop epilepsy or some shit like i also feel like those are the babies who are most addicted to like cocomelon and shit too do you know what i mean and the reason they're so addicted to it is because it's the only time in their life they get to see fucking color and that's probably why all the babies are gay because they see the rainbow for the first time and they're so attracted to it is because it's the only time in their life they get to see fucking color and that's probably why all the babies are gay because they see the rainbow for the first time and they're so attracted to it yeah the frogs are gay because of the estrogen in the water supply yeah the babies are gay because of their beige rooms if somebody with a normal brain chemistry heard the past like 10 minutes of us talking they would genuinely think

it would be yeah it would it would literally be the same like it would be the same as giving a jolly rancher to a pilgrim like it would do the same damage to their brain wait do the beige babies get to eat fun food i feel like a lot of those beige babies also have moms who are like, I'm making my baby Froot Loops. They only eat beige. They only eat mashed potatoes and boiled chicken. Like that is so insane. Also, I don't know. Like I think if I have a kid, like I'm really going to let it do whatever the fuck it wants

for the most part. Like what? Like my I'm not joking. I'm being dead fucking serious like i know for a fact that my kid is going to be experimenting with drugs when they're 15 16 17 18 now i'm gonna act to their face very upset with them but low-key i'm gonna be like you're kind of cool like you're one of the cool kids aren't you no i really hope something gets done about puff bars because i can't i can't have a kid who has a bar huh did you just see that did

you just almost fall no i looked insane i i wonder if i look as crazy as i think you probably think you look crazier than you do um marvel movies are humiliation rituals for top actors in the world because those silly fucking suits. Are you kidding me? And seeing them outside of the green screen in that stupid fucking little outfit they have on. No, it's got to be a joke. It's got to be a humiliation. I want to know how those actors like talk about being in marvel movies like do you think they're like yes i'm in a marvel movie or they're or do they preface it to their friends like yeah i was just filming something they're

like oh my god what and like i i'm a part i'm a part of the marvel stuff now and i thought it was going to be like stupid but i i kind of like it i actually really love it everybody's really sweet no literally like we one of our actor friends we have several actor friends like was talking about being asked to do a marvel movie and how they hook you is like not only are you getting paid like 10 million dollars for a single role as like which is just life-changing generational wealth but they also like are like oh and like you're gonna be in eight movies over the next 12 years so it's basically guaranteeing them like 150 million dollars so you really like actually can't i guess marvel is low-key like the nfl of acting it's like the biggest deal you can get is being a part of that shit. Yeah, it is like they make it impossible to say no to.

And then if you say no once, then they don't hit you back up. Because they're like, how the fuck could you say no to us, Marvel? I can't even lie. All the shit I'm talking about right now, if a Marvel contract got put in my face i'd sign it so fucking quick i would sign it and then immediately pull like a stizzy out of my back pocket and get so fucking high because i'm lit for life like it doesn't matter i fully i am on the same wavelength like i will be doing a marvel movie if it gets put in front of me i want like a madame webb though or is that dc um i don't know i think it'd be kind of funny like i feel like we're serving more like we get picked up by dc is the best we're gonna get we're not getting marvel and yeah you're saying really

scary things to me right now i am too hot to hear the words dc Marvel. Sorry, my Disney brain is coming out. I've been having to do a lot of understanding what production companies own what because I was genuinely, I am obsessed with going to Disneyland. I love Disneyland. I am a Disney adult in my free time. And I was obsessed with the idea of Wicked

becoming a thing in Disney. And then I realized it's Universal. See, that's what I'm saying universal wicked world i'm telling you it's the next big thing like they need to do like like the ride is uh you're riding a broom at the end and the song that elphaba sings like the wicked witch of the west or whatever the fuck what's the the last song? If you can't find it. Yeah. And that's playing in the background and it's like one of those rides where you're like. Yeah, they should replace Harry Potter with Wicked. I'm sorry.

Or no, keep Harry Potter and add a Wicked world. Like it's that easy because we can go in through the gate and it's like you entering shiz and it's like a fake water. Oh my God. I'm telling you, I'm cooking. I'm literally cooking right now i know i want to go to shiv there's a tulip field ride where you're running through the tulip fields and it's a

roller coaster um i don't want to have to run though no you're not running it's a roller coaster okay because any ride where i have to do like the haunted mansion loki you're pushing it i just have to walk through this fucking ugly ass house right now yeah and you're trying to make it seem like i'm on a fun ride when really the ride doesn't start for 10 fucking minutes and i have to be squished next to the most people ever it's obviously a safety hazard god forbid half this building started to catch on fucking fire there's no escaping from the haunted mansion we're all going to be the next ghost for the next fucking guest if this house sets on fire true um okay the last thing i wanted to address and kind about is the inya ozempic rumors so people think inya is on ozempic but i mean look at her y'all she does not look like she's on ozempic like not even close to being on ozempic like she looks

nothing like ozempic at all she is not there's no like i don't see a world where she could be on ozempic because it feels like you're like it feels like you're kind of like doing a backhanded thing right now like you're kind of defending my honor and i thought you were i thought you were gonna say like we go to the gym often and it's really weird to say that no you do not look anything like you look nothing like being on ozempic looks like like at all that's crazy you haven't been getting comments because i really don't like the way you've been looking so i've been going into your room and like stabbing you with an ozempic pen in your stomach while you're sleeping that's why i'm eating lately imagine doing that to someone like imagine finding out that somebody's been coming into your room and just being like with no zempic while you're sleeping honestly like no i would be

mad because i've heard such scary after effects of like health issues that come with those zempic so i'd be like bro at what cost like that's the annoying thing is like bro like y'all are talking about somebody who i just started smoking weed i'm 25 like i am so terrified of big pharma y'all think i'm about to be the test dummy for ozempic like get a grip i'm gonna let all the bitches do it crazy boot style and then i like i'm sorry like and i also don't like if you everyone gets to do what they want but i genuinely believe there's three things that to me i can partake in but much later in my life and that's like crazy drugs yeah ozempic and plastic surgery that's all shit for what i'm like in my mid-60s and at this point i'm bored at this point i'm just like fucking new face

challenge fucking new body challenge fucking new vibe challenge fucking new brain chemistry like by the time i'm 65 it's like challenge is so funny because you're like addicted to crack yeah i mean shit so what like if i'm like 67 who's calling for? I don't plan on having kids. Like, I'll just be like the aunt of all of my other friends, kids, meth head on. Meth head in. Yeah. Yeah. Fine. Meth head in is going to come over.

She's really weird. And she stares at the wall for five hours a day. But she's awesome. And I know her teeth are scary. We're getting her new one soon. No, I would obviously get veneers I have it planned out my retirement fund is going to literally

go crazy for like whatever I decide to do you're literally going to go crazy like it sounds fun to be 65 and if I still have the health for it to get boobs and then just get them taken out like that's I'm not kidding that's something i've genuinely thought about i'm like it'd be

funny to get a bbl for like a year and then the next year just get it taken out just to see i want to know what life feels like with a big butt yeah by then i'm sure it'll be easily dissolvable and shit also by then i'll know that i'm not performing for the male gays. Like, it's just, it really is. Why would you perform for gay men? Huh? Why would you perform for gay men? Well, I mean, that's all we do here. Yeah.

Hey, gay. Hi, male gays. Okay, Drew, sigh up. If you eat a bitch's pussy knowing she sell it you need to be on fear factor that was from gabby 2023 i was edging 2024 i was stroking 2025 i'm busting all over y'all i mean honestly that is my vibe that was from kyla and then the last one is probably my favorite one ever gay men will make fun of horse girls and then put a harness on and do ketamine girl you are the horse i think that's from at leo d gray on twitter literally the grandmom is the baby the grandmom

is the baby like i we can't say much about our personal lives but just know themom is the baby the grandmom is the baby like we can't say much about our personal lives but just know the grandma is the baby the grandma is literally the baby and also just know um I live in like actual fear right now like I'm genuine like not for anybody

else's safety but for the safety of everyone else yes Anybody else's safety, but for the safety of everyone else. Yes. Should we do media? Yes. Yes. My media of the week is I saw Janet.

Thank you. Oh. Okay. My media is Austin Powers by Mason. M-A-X-O-N. No, go ahead. Sorry. Mine is Walkin' by Patti Whipp. Ever new Beverly Glenn Copeland Miracle Man Bob

Carpenter When I Find Time Cody Chestnut. I watched Janet Planet and I am obsessed with that movie and I've seen it twice now and the soundtrack is so good. And I feel like now is a cool time to watch

a movie like Janet Planet because we're all with our families and I think that movie does a good job of it's so real yeah it's like oh some of y'all were not supposed to have kids the grandmoms the baby

literally my media is i watched um monsters university um the prequel to monsters inc um and i think that might be the greatest prequel sequel of all time. You've literally talked about this three medias of the week. Like your hyper fixation with Monsters, Inc. is giving Disney adults. So you can't even actually we should go to Disney together. So you get your Monsters, Inc. ears. Yeah, I mean, the way I was saying that I'm not trying to be funny.

I'm like, you should genuinely do that. Like, I want them. I love Monst love monsters Inc. Uh, but into the void, Tim Hecker, sleepy time, Raymond Scott,

reach for the dead boards of Canada and heal Pentagon. Um, did I watch anything else? Uh, I went to the Mavs game. Um, that was lit. And,

um, I have a crush lucky i have like a real crush like a nervous waiting for a text back crush like a oh my god like did i say the wrong thing crush like a uh um piss that they're not texting me back immediately crush or like oh i'm making this all up in my head crush oh i love that yes see 2025 is about to be lit as fuck okay well sorry if this episode seemed a little off. I'm sure like many of you this time of year, although very sweet and nice brings a lot of stress and reminders of things. And just know that as long as you have your found family or even just one person around you that you love, or even if you don't have that

and you have to do that online in your communities and do more outreach to find those people that is what makes it worth it and it's worth it it will pass and you will find the people that you were meant to be with and they will come and you will be so happy you will be so happy even that you waited you will be so happy even but yeah and I guess yeah this is the last episode of the year I really thought I was going to get on here and

do my big one and give a sweet speech but right now my brain is dead maybe next episode maybe next time well thank you guys so much for watching we record that one before the end of the year and then it goes up on the end yeah so technically for us you'll be seeing us in the past next episode but all right well all right

peace and love and unity and respect uh peace to your families happy holidays oh happy new year happy new years Peace to your families. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Bye.