Emergency Intercom - Addressing The Drama

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

In this episode, Drew and Enya finally address the drama plaguing the subreddit and talk about their first week in New York. This podcast is sponsored by BETTER HELP: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/intercom Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome back to me digging in my big bag. Let's do a bag haul. Let's see what's inside. Dude, it's embarrassing. I have like three of the same lipsticks in here. Why? Because I just forget I had it. And I'm like, I need this one. You're going to buy it from Sephora every single time you're in there?

Bleep out the S word I just said. Oh, yeah, because our big deal. Yeah. Our big deal. Our big Sephora collab coming soon. Or Ulta collab coming soon. Ulta? Ulta?

Ulta, Texas? No, wait. It's Tulsa? Tulsa, Oklahoma. Tulsa, Texas. Okay. We'll start off strong. Why does some months have 31 days and others have 28?

That's your starting off strong? Yeah. Did you do any research for it? No, why? You just wanted to talk about it? Why? I don't know. I genuinely don't even know why 365 days. did that just sound good i think that's because the rotation of like the earth around like why couldn't it just go

like be like two like that doubled like why did that have to like end the year like wait what like because you're saying like because i'm what i'm making comment on is i don't understand like time yeah like why did we have to be like all right and then when that happens the year is over and we're starting again oh i see why does time have to be repetitive why can't we just have a new one every time we kind of do get a new one every time no but like new months like damn they could only come up with 12 yeah Yeah, but like at a certain point, it just starts doing the same thing it did last year. Last night, Drew abandoned me at a bar. Oh, also, we should clarify for our visual listeners, visual watchers.

What do you call them? Like, what are you? Tune-er-in-ers. Okay. For the people who tune in visually, we are at the Happy Nine-Nine shop in New York because we're in New York. And we have no locations to film and they graciously offered us a space.

And you know what? When a good offer comes knocking at your door, you take it. When you get offered to be the first and only people to do a podcast in the shop the the fucked up thing is like you just mentioning like take a good offer when it comes your way dude i'm so annoyed i said no to this but fucking harry styles asked me to open for his madison square garden shows all 10 of them and i decided i was like i don't know i just i don't know. I just, I don't feel like it's the right fit for me, but like I,

I said no because I was nervous. I was scared. No, you're an idiot. Wait, why? That was really smooth. Yeah,

I know. I know. I was impressed with that one. But you see how you just cut me off? Yeah. You see how you made it not smooth? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I see how I fucked it up. Yeah. Ew, looking up and being like, oh yeah, okay. I see that. You're so stupid for not taking that i know i know i deserve that i deserve to be called stupid because like that could have changed my life in a very big way but like again i was like did you just did like it's not that you felt like better than that right like why did you say no uh yeah it was it was because i'm better than

i should i should have my own 10 shows at madison's oh okay that see like the thing is at this point we could pack out i was about to say we could pack out msg yeah we could pick it pack it out simply like a hundred dollar ticket yeah no if you'd come to our show at madison square garden let us know the 30 people who live in new york who watch this i'd go um but like i was saying that would be hilarious 30 people in the crowd at fucking madison square garden and us on stage doing the reverb of the sound in there since there's no human bodies to catch the vibrations would be insane it'd be so lit what do sound checks there even sound like because it must be like an insane like also i saw someone at this dance party thing and like a bunch of them did

you had earplugs in like they brought their own like earplugs and they were nice like a bunch of people had like i was like damn these are people who go to this kind of shit all the time i want to keep their ears yeah and they had like ones that hung around their neck i'm about to start doing that shit same because i am getting a little scared of like losing my hearing that and like my ears hurt so fucking bad every time i go to a concert like it's so like annoying like when we were djing i was like dude this is loud as fuck oh my ears don't hurt because i'm an empath and i'm like used to listening oh yeah so it's like my ears just don't hurt from like hearing yeah do you ever need someone to talk to are you ever tired of just like being the ear for everybody else honestly i'm a bit of an egotistical kind of empath because i don't

even believe that there is another empath as empathetic as me so it's like i i find myself in this position where i'm like well who do i turn to because the best listener is right here yeah so i mean you can have inner dialogue with yourself now like you can talk to yourself sometimes you want to use your vocal like yeah like i like, I want the vibrations of my voice. Talk to yourself in a mirror. To send shockwaves to my soul. Into a mirror. Yeah.

But that's bad for your, like, your inner child, because you're looking at an adult you. And you're supposed to be, you're talking as your inner child, and then you're, like, confusing yourself, because you're like, oh my god, there's big me talking. It'll still work for you, Drew, because you're, like, 14. Yeah. Since you're only, like, well, he turned talking. It'll still work for you, Drew, because you're like 14. Yeah, since you're only like... Well, he turned 16. I'm turning 17. I thought you turned 15 after you turned 16 for some reason. He ages rapidly.

I thought you were going back. No, no. I'm about to be 17. Yeah. And then when he hits 18, he jumps back again. Yeah, I see. Yeah, see, I revert back when i hit a certain age it's like this weird fucking thing and like it's like this health thing it's cool that your mental oh i i

know that it's a benjamin button disease it's like it's half that so it's just basically they call it benjamin because i don't age all the way back oh it's called ben button ben but ben but disease ben's butts disease um like i've been trying to say drew abandoned me last night we're in new york and we went to this bar and it had a photo booth and it was fun and slay and for the first 30 minutes i actually tried my very hardest not to terrorize the vibe you are a champ because when i got there you could tell that i could read your vibe and you immediately bounced out of it yeah i was like i wasn't terrorizing the vibe i was just so tired but like i rallied i did my thing i got a fucking beer because I'm a straight man and I drink beer. He was cosplaying straight

like crazy last night. I drank a beer at a bar last night. Drink a beer wearing an OPN hat. Yep. What shirt were you wearing? A jackass shirt.

Yeah, a jackass skull shirt. It was very straight. No, literally everybody that saw me was like, wow, you look very straight today.

Like literally, I got like three compliments saying I look straight. Yeah, because at one point we did the thing where we went to fake kiss and Elsie was like, you can't do that when you look like that. It is so scary.

It's very real looking. But yeah, I'll let you tell your side of the story and then I'll tell mine. So me and Josie were the only ones like really like taking in drinks because we're fucking crazy and my girl wanted to have a sleigh party night yeah i was like you know what i'll tap in with her so we were like having drinks being stupid and like we had been there for honestly like way too

long and we should have left forever ago but on the way out y'all started a new photo booth uh picture and or who did it was it josie yeah it was josie and elsie josie and elsie got in the photo booth but it was one of those like film photo booths so you have to wait fucking seven minutes for it to print um so they did that on the way out and then we were like oh my god like honestly me and josie were like honestly just get in the car because me and josie kept being like we want a city bike back we want a city bike all night long like it's all we talked about we were like I want to get on a city bike I want to get on a city bike and it's because of my addictive personality two nights ago I took a city bike home and it was like the most serene beautiful bike ride of my life so because I'm addicted to like good feelings being your wallflower having

your wallflower moment it was also the most silent night on earth. I genuinely think that me and my friends were the only people like alive. No one is talking about it, but New York literally does sleep. There is like a time that New York sleeps. Yeah, it's like there is night and night time. It's after 10 p.m. on the weekdays. It sleeps. Yeah, especially like I feel like in certain parts of Brooklyn, it literally like.

It's also like not that windy here for being the Windy City for being the Windy City. This is not the Windy City. Oh, where the orange trees, Kai? Like you've never been anywhere. Oh, where's all the sun and the heat? Wait, do you think the Windy City is California or Florida? What are you? Where's all the mountains and shit? The mountain state or florida what are you where's all the mountains and shit the mountain state like what are you saying what are you saying wait it sounds like you don't know

where the windy city is either the windy shit the windy shitty chicago the orange city i'm gonna take you to chicago i'm gonna take you to chic the orange city of Florida holy shit I love when I love when y'all fight over me I thought you said I love women and I was like everyone's been fighting over you I feel like New York

a bunch of people have fought over you this trip so far I don't know how but I have hoes out here it's crazy finish your story we'll get into that in a little bit so um i have to pull my pants down they're like riding up my go lower go lower you want me to take my pants off yeah we'll blur it anyways so i was like me and jesse were like we need to get on a city bike we need to get on a city bike. We need to get on a city bike.

And like, that was our main objective. So then when Drew called the car, we were like, what? And it was perfect timing, though, because the fucking film photos had to be like developed out of the photo booth. So me and Jesse were like, oh, just go get in the car. We're going to like literally have another drink and wait for this and then go on a city bike. I was. OK, OK, yeah, yeah, yeah city bike. I was. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So we were like, whatever. And like, but somehow we like nothing was being communicated through any person. It was like me and Josie fully understood each other's game plan. And Elsie and Drew had no idea what was happening. Is that really loud? No, no, it's fine.

Sorry. The Transformers are outside. Like the robot, like the big guys um but no one for some reason on their end didn't know what we were doing and then i went outside and drew drew was like oh i'm calling another uber because that uber literally just fucking yelled at me i got into this uber and he yelled at me immediately like i haven't been yelled at like that since i was like a child like he like scolded me and he was i i immediately. I haven't been yelled at like that since I was a child. He scolded me and I waved at him

and he sat there for, I'm not joking, 15 seconds. And then I had to wait for three cars across the street. One of them honked at him because he did stop in the middle of the street and it was three cars. And so I had to wait for them to pass and I walked and got into the car and he yelled at me. And I was like, you know what?

I don't need this. So I canceled and gave him his five dollars and called another Uber because I was like, I can't ask him to wait any longer. Yeah. So he got yelled at and then he was like, I'm calling another Uber. And I was like, OK. And like, I still didn't make it clear that me and Josie like we're not planning on like getting back out,

but you know what it was? Cause I think there was a brief moment where I was like, damn, I'm like pretty drunk and I don't know if I should be on a city bike. And then like, I went back in with Josie and cause I remember I like finished my drink really fast. Cause I was like,

dude, let's just go with drew. Like we'll ride city bikes another night. And like, we're like going fast. And I was like, fuck, I need water. Wait. So I like Brandon, like chug the cup of water. And then

we like, we were like, Oh my God, wait, where's the photo booth? And we're like, the photo booth picture isn't there. They grabbed it. And we were like, Oh my God. And like, we ran outside and it was the most deserted I'd seen a street. Like it literally looked like a tornado swept through and picked up all the cars and humans that were on that street like two seconds ago it was the deadest street i've ever seen i mean josie like literally we're like drunk and like hobbling like we're like true did y'all city bike back no because then what took y'all so long it's so stupid so then okay so we're like oh my god they left they're gone and we like looked around and we were like no they're fully gone like they're just not here

and we were like oh fuck whatever so then i looked at the city bike we walked to the city bike like like whatever and like i pulled up there and then i went to go scan one and then i was like wait i need water and i was like i'm gonna throw like, wait, I need water. And I was like, I'm going to throw up. I need water. I need water. So we like ran back into the bar because there was no delis open because it was literally the most dead street I've ever seen in my life. There's no delis on the street that were open. We were like, let's go get water. We ran in, chugged a bunch of water. And then we're like, all right, let's go. And we ran back to the city bikes. The second I took out my phone to scan it, my phone died.

And I was like, oh, my God. And Josie was like, I can't get one. I can get one on mine and took like 10 minutes figuring that out. And I was like, oh, wait, I can use my card. You can use your card on these city bikes. So then I went and I was trying to like do it. And like I did the whole thing. And then the screen just restarted and it took me like 10

minutes to figure out how to use this fucking ye olde machine and then the screen just restarted i was like dude this isn't happening and we stood there for i'm not kidding like 20 minutes trying to figure it out it took y'all forever to get home um and then finally i was like girl this is not happening my phone's dead yeah i'm way too drunk to be on a bike like we gotta go home and then we literally like hobbled to a corner and jesse's like i'll call an uber and i was like okay and then we just sat on the floor and i was like order mcdonald's order mcdonald's and then he he ordered mcdonald's in a car and then we went home and then i almost threw up because i took a bunch of drew's

electrolyte powder and put it in water even though two days before in the morning when i drank some i almost threw up everywhere and then i had some when i got home and i was like i'm gonna throw up i need to go lay down and i went and went to sleep okay the story from my perspective since you want to air my shit out we were literally abandoned you know what makes it worse the reason we were so keen on waiting for the photo booth picture is because your tits were all in there i pulled my tits out in it and then they they took my tits home these bastards took my tits home and left me behind yeah and i hung them up on my wall did you did you like what about it did you play tug of war with yourself not yet i will though um so from my perspective

we're at this bar i'm the most tired i've ever been in my entire life like easily the most hard which is also what drew says every single night past 10 p.m the city seems at 10 p.m and so does drew like let me go but my phone literally will will not allow me i know that he's just like they're like this at the table like like staring like sleeping with my eyes open because i don't want people to know i'm actually tired so we play a round of pool i play with this weird fucking guy the weirdest guy i've ever seen in my life and he's like talking all this shit to me where he's like yeah like i'm i'm probably gonna beat your ass at pool and i was like yeah you're probably gonna beat my ass like he's like and i'm not like gonna have mercy and

i was like don't have mercy just beat my ass and then um we like he's like i'll let you break since like you're obviously not as good as me he said that to me and then so i broke and then he started and he fucking you have to like call your shot on the first ball apparently i didn't know that was a rule and he's like oh i didn't call that ball so you can go for whichever one you want so i went for the one obvious like the stripes that he made and then like i started cleaning up the table and i looked like a crazy guy like i i looked like actually good at pool because like i made like so many shots and he was getting so pissed he was like he was like whatever like i'm just gonna go to the restroom i have to i have to take a piss anyways and he was like don't cheat and like he said that

to me because i me and josiah were playing and he was watching me and josiah play and i was like acting like i was cheating the whole time with josiah and josiah went up to him and was like watch out he fucking cheats he's a fucking cheater i don't think he knew me and josiah were buddies um but he was like yeah i'm keeping my eye on him um and so he went and took a piss and like i made so many balls in a row i actually looked like i sandbagged him it looked like i was like cheating like i had like faked being really bad so i could beat his ass in pool um eventually he did end up beating me but it was really embarrassing because like he talked all this shit before and like was not much better than me at pool which is like hilarious and

i haven't played pool in like 10 years 12 years or something since i was literally a toddler but after pool we're just loitering around whatever and i'm like okay i'm not taking a city bike i refuse to bike home right now i'm too tired so i'm like i'm gonna call a car whoever wants to get in the car can get in the car with me we relay that message and you and josiah are both like no we're gonna we're gonna city bike. We're both gonna city bike. And I was like, okay, fair. And I was like, the car's almost here. So like, if you're coming, you're coming. If you're not, you're gonna city bike. So they're like, okay, but then right as the car pulls up in your shows her boobies in the machine. And this Uber that is already yelling at me is outside. And I'm like,

I can't wait any longer so i'm like okay and you really does need to get those boobie pictures and it seems like she's gonna she wants to ride with me in this car so i'm gonna cancel this and get a new car so i canceled it and got a new car and i told elsie i was like go tell them that the car is coming now so they need to be outside now and i was waiting on the curb and elsie ran inside told y'all that the car was coming y'all were taking more photos in the photo booth and the car pulled up and i was just like okay so they're city biking because they're not outside they would have been outside because i gave them five minutes to get their asses outside

to get to this car and y'all didn't and then i get it i text um in the group chat and else he's like oh no they know like that we left they said they were gonna city bike and i was like oh cool like i don't feel bad but i'm gonna let them know that we're in the car so they don't look for us or whatever and then josiah text back to my text i was like we left by the way in the car and he was like fuck and i was like you cannot be mad at me like i gave y'all 10 minutes and two cars to get to the car it literally felt like me and josie were in like a funny ass episode of always sunny because like the way we like walked out and there was nobody on earth like it felt so funny like it

was literally one of the best moments i've had in my whole life like just be like okay hurry hurry and we were like like not running because i'm not about to be running through a random bar but we were like we had fucking pep in our steps we were like we gotta get out of here and then we got out we were like we were like am i tripping i said literally no human on this street um and it was the best thing ever. Yeah, it was. Best night ever. Last night was a movie. And then, Inya,

you're kind of turning into Christian in a way when, like, anytime you drink, you're like, I drank way too much. No, my tolerance is so much lower now.

It's embarrassing. Literally, the second we got there, like, my second drink in, I should have stopped there. Because at this point in my life, I only ever need two drinks. And then I'm like, I'm the drunkest i've ever been i need to go to bed i rallied so hard because i wasn't even like supposed to drink that night but i had a beer because and i didn't even

finish it or did i i don't know if i finished you carried it around for so long yeah i was like i don't even like know if i want this anymore but like whatever i'm just to try. But there's this new trend or something going around. Sorry, I farted. There's this new trend going around on TikTok or something. I don't know. I've seen a couple TikToks about it. But it's apparently girls finding guys that listen to Emergency Intercom. Baby, baby, I have bad news for you.

That man is gay. That is a gay is gay that is a gay man listening to emergency intercom run i mean but like his beard you're like the straight like well yeah but i'm like a face of it like i'm the show so you don't you don't practice what you preach no no absolutely not um yeah i saw that, though. Like, what was it? She was like, who's your favorite? And he's like, I don't listen to that. There were two or three TikToks about it.

I lied. Honestly, I lied. I don't know who those fuckers are. I was like, yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, man. I don't know. Can I fuck, please? What were you doing? I just winked at him.

Ew. You look so scary. It's crazy how I'm the short one now in the episode. Look, you're like taller than me. Well, I've always been taller than you. Well, in person, one now in the episode look you're like taller than me well i've always been taller than you it's like in person but not in the episode yeah but we've just done a better job of covering the fact that you and kai are both five foot one well i'm five three so let's get that straight and kai is four eight or it's okay sorry four seven and a half there's videos of the djs that were the same. Oh, you were on a stool.

Yeah, you were on a stool. I wasn't on a stool. Yeah, you were. Yes, you were. You notice how in all those videos, you can't see your lower half. Yeah, what's going on with that? Because you can't see Drew's either. You're on stilts.

Yeah, because you have to be on a stool to be up 253. I am 63. Okay. And that's not a joke. Okay. Now you're lying. Okay. And that's not a joke. Now you're just, now you're lying. Low K. What's low K?

I don't know. Kai just said it. Hey, Drew. Fuck me. Drew. Fuck off. Serious question. Do you want to drop any more shit

and fuck up the audio before we continue? Oh my God. Do you want to lose your fucking job? Do you want to fucking drop after this? Yes yes i'm so sorry okay here's my my hot take of the week i oh fuck off i don't care how oh wait it's your jewel paw

it's your jewel that keeps falling dude i thought it was your legs right now jesus christ they're so red too you're like gripping them together i have to this is how i look when my new pot is hitting right my toothbrush broke and then you was like do not do not ask questions if that thing disappears because i will be fingering myself i like, that thing is going to make me freak out. It broke. It broke and that shit. It's literally going to make me spin.

I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. When we were in the bathroom, you saw I put it on my wiener to see what it would feel like. And it's crazy. What did that feel like? Let's just say my whole body went numb and i had a transcendental experience yeah i had like a outer body like actual projection moment let's just say it feels my like my clit is on anesthesia oh oh i i am actually straight and i remember in like eighth

grade i whoa i know like what don't don't debunk his straightness okay you're projecting that's not your space to claim that is my job thanks babe Like what? What do you mean? What? Don't debunk his straightness. Okay. You're projecting because that had nothing to do with you. That is not your space to claim. That is my job. Thanks, babe. Ooh. I was playing, I think like Call of Duty Modern Warfare, like the first one. Okay.

Yeah. I've done that too. I had the Xbox controller and I was like texting or something and it was like. Oh yeah. I know exactly what you mean it was on my cocky and then I remember somebody like added me as a friend and it was like my homie

so he made you cum and it like felt hella good and I was like that's crazy me when I'm in that one episode of Black Mirror everybody's had that experience I had that with my Wii controller yeah if you're a guy you put your Wii... I'm not kidding.

Or you put the controller on your private parts and let people kill you. Yeah, you just get bobbed and harassed. Yeah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I'm thinking about that toothbrush, though. Yeah, the toothbrush. I need that toothbrush.

That's something I need in my life. What were we saying? About how I'm 6'4 and you're you're 5 11 or something we're talking about you being on stools yeah we're talking about you being four three it was four eight before but i'm not there's no anyways here is the take my take i don't care how bad a woman's art is a man is not allowed to say it's bad okay because then now i'm like you're pushing it now now you're just like this is misogyny yeah you're being misogynistic like she could literally be like scribbling doodoo caca on the walls and i'm like it's ugly and i don't like

that but the second a man comes up next to me and he's like i don't like that i'm like where is this coming from really where is this actually yeah like oh like let's go deep in that psyche yeah where is that coming let's find you a therapist yeah you need help i don't i wish i remember what i saw i think i saw someone critiquing a woman's art and it's like a woman's art who i don't even fucking like i'm like now you're making me defend this girl because you shouldn't be doing that actually maybe we need more men critiquing women's art so that more

women can then go defend that art. You know what's crazy? Me and Kai were just crying about this. We were? Holy shit we were just like we were like dude men like just men being mean to women wait I okay now the message is all fucked up you're straight but you cry you can do both yeah well you're are you are you okay are you good oh my god your jaw looks so

good drew your jawline goes crazy right now the videos videos from the DJ set, I was like, damn, my side profile is gnarly. And you were like, damn, compared to Drew's. No, I was literally looking at your jaw and then mine, lack of any jaw. And I was just like, damn, I wish I had that. Comparison is the thief of joy or is a thief of joy. Oh, my God. So don't compare yourself to me. Don't compare where you don't compete.

Don't compete with this because you will never and I mean ever win. I thought you were going to say something to make me feel better for a second. I mean it should make you feel better. How is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it's stupid to compare yourself to someone so perfect. I'm an unobtainable

beauty standard for men like and it's difficult like it's actually even hard for me to keep up and it's actually fucked up that you brought that up that you would even come from me how is it i just seem compliment to you hey don't cry don't cry no real men don't cry please actually, no, it's like grossing me out. Oh, my God. I'm never fucking him again. Wait a second. You guys fuck? All the time. Oh.

Like clockwork. Damn. Clockwork. Call us clockwork horns. Because we're fucking. I've never seen the movie. I don't know what the fuck it means. Without me? No, Kai, I'm not going to massage your feet.

Kai, I'm not going gonna massage your feet kai i'm not gonna massage your feet right now like kai i'm not gonna like take your shoes off and play with your feet kai we're not gonna take those ew no put it on put it back on put that down away put it away okay kai's actually kai's The thing I like about Kai is his whole wardrobe is archived down to his socks. He's had them since senior year. The thing I like about Kai is that he

recycles. And he uses his cum socks as the socks he wears every single day. No, they're not. recycles and he uses his cum socks as the socks he wears every single day no okay but you're actually you're actually checking it out it's like a yellow square and the good thing is he's just like he's the true form of like human evolution because his body could tell that it was having a hard time clawing through the like stiff socks so his toenails grow at a rapid rate to claw through. Kai has very manicured feet.

I would know because I want to play with them. Thank you. You're welcome, Kai. One time, I think it was on the Reddit or something, but there was a picture of me in sandals and my toes were out. And someone was like, this bitch has never been caught

with her toes looking fucked up. I was like, why are you keeping track of my toes? Why are you keeping tabs? There will never been caught with her toes looking fucked up and like i was like why are you keeping track of my toes why are you keeping tabs there will never be a photo there was emergency intercom reddit drama we need to tap in okay i didn't did you get down to the bottom of it no but i i want to just like speak on it for a second yeah i you know you've heard me a thousand times i have begged for a cum tribute like it is actually offensive that i haven't gotten one and then on the red never had one in general no i know it's crazy i've had one and i don't even have a fucking blue check mark on ig but that's another story no wait wait wait now it's stacking up it's too much no culture no ig chat i know am i even a person yeah it's

fucking useless you shouldn't fucking exist you should actually die i fucking know and i know so many ways you could kill yourself today before like oh oh i'm the bad guy now oh guys i've actually struggled with mental health stuff oh my my god. Like where is the fun? Where's the laughter? Where's the joy? I'm just saying. It's literally you when you were struggling. Other people's mental illnesses are a thief of joy as well. I should say that.

We'll just say that real quick. I think I heard Nat laugh. I think that was me laughing loud as fuck but I can't tell. I heard like a... Oh, she's taking a big dumpy. But I... Fuck, what was I fucking saying? You were talking about the cum tribute, bitch.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, you want so bad you don't even remember? On the Reddit, someone posted a very inconspicuous thing and was like, hypothetically, if I made a cum tribute for Drew, would I be able to post it here? And everybody was like, no, do not do that. That is insane. Please, please do not put that here. No one wants to see it.

Which is like fair. Like, let them vote. And they said no. The person posted it anyways. It wasn't even a fucking real contribute but people were still pissed yeah so as what i got from it was i went on the reddit the other day and people were like people so i was like please know more about the drama and i was like oh fuck what did what what happened because of course i get terrified because like you know like my like public figure

like as a public figure like i'm just like i care about how i'm perceived because i'm a good person and like what what are you doing bitch what um but i saw that and i was like what the fuck is this about and then all the comments were like it wasn't even real it was suds like it was like soapy suds and then like they were all arguing they were like that's what they want you to think so what I'm assuming is somebody posted the cum tribute and then immediately everybody was like you're going to hell you should die like this

is fucked up I didn't even get to see it um I didn't see it either um because take another photo wait it was you did you guys not realize what's the point of a cum tribute being posted on you could just give it to him. I wanted it to be a surprise.

He wanted it to be a special message. I need you to cum into a cheesecloth, and then I'm going to rinse it. Kai cares for me. Also, Drew, Instagram gave me a blue check. It's coming in like a week, and I'm going to get you one, too. Oh. All right. Oh. two oh all right oh he's crawling around i don't know if they can see that they can't see he's

getting back in frame though so they can see this is what this is don't hit your head again come on logo come on let's get you back on the chair. But yeah, they're going to give you one too. They just want to make sure mine goes through. But they're giving Kai one and then they're having it permanently in the work where you do what your work is. It's a cocksucker, bitch-ass, ball fucker.

Yeah. I'm going to be honest. You win some, you lose some. Yeah, it's a good are you pretending hey he's tapped out he's like he thinks he's he thinks he's recording a podcast episode somewhere else he entered in like a parallel universe and i think it's a podcast and it's a universe where it's just him because he's giving no space for... Oh. Oh.

Let's see how long it goes. Oh, he's back. I just was somewhere. Yeah, I could tell. Today, Josiah said bye while we filmed. And he did something that I found so funny and I hugged him and I genuinely was like... And said to him i was like the day you die it's gonna be so hard for me and the thing is like that came from like such a real place like me saying that to him and like in my head it's an endearing thing to say but that's like the craziest thing so scary it comes from a very real place

um it is gonna be a hard it's to be a hard loss to get through. Yeah. And I don't know if I'll manage. No, for sure. Drew will take me like two weeks. I was going to say like maybe 30 minutes for you. What? I mean, it wouldn't even be like a real sadness.

It would just be like. Would I get like, would I get a post and then like, it's like swiping up and going right back to Grindr? Yeah, but it would be an IG story. It would be a Twitter notification that he swipes away. My Snapchat that I haven't used since 2014. I'll post you on my Snapchat. Maybe. I need to, okay.

Here's the thing. This is my one thing. An Instagram reel. Yeah. I need to be in highlights. So when I die die everyone's got to throw me on a highlight reel on their page so then like even people who are trying to thirst follow you the first thing they know is like okay so they've gone through loss because this who's or

if anything they're gonna be like or is this like his ex like he hasn't gotten rid of her on here yeah and then all the way at the end of the reel, because they're going to watch through the whole highlight thing because they've got to see what my vibe is. And at the end, they're going to be like, oh, thank God she's dead. And then they'll find themselves being like, oh, my God, I can't believe I just, that's fucked up. Why did I think that? I actually don't think I would ever realistically be able to use the internet

ever again if you died. Good. Like realistically, I don't think I would ever. You got gotta open up that gofundme for my family the oh gofundme is being open yeah 100 but i would never be able to use the internet in the same capacity i don't think i would either because also i would see you all the time yeah yeah yeah yeah i would if i see one more thirst trap edit of kai oh yes i'll kill myself fuck that and that's a threat.

And that is a threat. And you know what? Imagine all of the accounts swipe all of those down and they delete them. They're like, oh, sorry. I'm kidding. You can keep them up, but stop making them. Those were cool. I say make probably more of those.

Maybe there should be more footage of you. So you should start filming yourself doing things. Okay. What? What the hell are you saying? No. Piggybacking off of that, yeah. We DJed.

And it was probably the most lit night of my life. I cried. I was so happy. Y'all turned it up in a way that I wasn't prepared for. Dude, I had the most rancid vibe all day before because i was so i wasn't nervous and i wasn't anxious but like something in me was like something's gonna go wrong something bad is gonna happen like someone being anxious no but it wasn't it wasn't i've had like really brutalizing like, but this was totally different.

I don't know what the feeling was. When I find a word, I'll tell you guys. It was gnarly. I think it was just the fact that I was just ruminating in my vibe all day alone that really set me over the edge because I was just sitting in the house all day waiting because I was like, I don't want to fucking go out before and do anything. I just want to chill. I felt the same way it didn't really feel like nerves but it was like an unpleasant yeah exactly exactly because i was like there's not much that we could fuck up like yeah it's not that hard um

but the second week i even like when we were walking on the stage i was like i it was totally over it but like there i was a little anxious but it was so much fucking fun like it there were so many fucking heads there i actually couldn't believe that many people came out like it was a literal blast and we're doing again we're doing it again simply we have to easily this is a test run yeah but it was so much fun. We're going to do Coachella in 2023. That's what we're manifesting. I'm going to do my own DJ set, but only girls are allowed. We could probably, if you wanted to, one of the people that threw it was like, we want

to throw another show for you guys. I'm not kidding. I want to do like a girls only event. You could do a solo set for sure. Yeah. But a girls only event. You could do a solo set for sure. Yeah. But a girls only event. Sorry. Okay.

Can I pull up? Why do you want to pull up? The ratio sounds fucking lit. The ratio sounds good. Yeah. The ratio sounds on point. Wait, but I thought y'all were fucking. I love going to parties with good ratios.

Yeah. The ratio at the bar last night was crazy. It was good. It was hella dudes, bro. You need more, like, bitches? Yeah. More bitches would be good. Yeah.

Just more. Hey, I need more bitches in this room. Like, there's too much. I hate that word so much. Bitches? Used in that context. Yes.

There needs to be more bitches here. Can we get some more bitches in here? Where are all the bitches? Where are we get some more bitches where all the bitches are all the bitches at home this is me this is me asking where are the bitches at okay i mean that's me asking yeah what do you want us to read that ass yeah say it can you what's how's um what's your straightest impression of that phrase? Hold on. What was I saying to you this morning?

Why do guys get so bloody pressed when another guy hits on them? I take that as a compliment. Did you say bloody pressed? Can you do the bi one? Oh, you read that wrong. Oh, yeah. You read that wrong. yeah you read that wrong i'm straight there's a lot of crazy things yeah in this world nowadays there's a lot of crazy things being said in this world these days and like what does that mean

like what is all the crazy things is the crazy thing being like told that inside the inside of his brain i got tagged in that so many times well dude the craziest thing is like four different people sending that to you and being like yo this is you this is you i'm like that is the craziest diss of all time they were saying it as like compliments and i was like y'all hi um there's a lot of crazy things being said in this world i know but do not believe the you know what i'm obsessed with the um i need my sexuality oh wait um what's what's up with the so what no i'm just gonna be like what's up with that vibe like is she straight or like what's that vibe um okay so uh walking around new york i realized that i am like recognizable from the back of my head like i have such a distinct disgusting rat's nest of a head

or hair on my head that like people will notice me from the back which is so funny rat's nest like you give like disgusting stinky rat's nest head um but yeah i just like i thought that was so funny because someone was like i noticed you from the back of your head and i was like there's no way and then at the event someone else also noticed me from the back of my head and i had elsie take a picture. And I was like, oh, yeah, that looks like me because it's so gross. Damn. Damn. Damn. Dude, your hair does what mine does, where it's like the pieces that are loose and not

being like held down by grease and oils, like all of these curl. And then back here, it's just matted up like from laying down. I think you have pretty hair, honestly. think you have pretty hair honestly you do have pretty hair you do i i don't understand the the drew has gross hair thing i don't see i go with it to support you well i i i say that because i live with him and i see his uh regime my regime your regimen regimen they gotta change the the spelling of that word. Like, what is... I also... I like his hair because I...

You're like, what's the deal with airplane food? They got to re-spell regime. No, like, okay, actually, I'm not kidding. Like, why is airplane food and airport food... Those are the worst meals ever. Not for me. Not for me. Pam. Pam. I take it where i can get it oh we know that

oh i remember i have bitches hella bitches out here i got hoes in new york the thing is why even bring that up because you can't really talk about it i can't but i just want to let people know that i got hoes out here me too like. Like, everyone wants to fuck me. Like, ugh. That's the thing, though. Nobody hits on me. No one hits on me either. Because I think we're a couple. When we go out, everyone thinks we're dating.

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, when we were in the airport and we, like, realized that, that was the funniest shit ever. Oh, yeah. Did we talk about that? I don't think so. We were in the airport and we were, like, holding holding each other i mean like bam scared like or i don't know what we were doing

we were just being annoying we were like we were being like the couples in the line actually we were just being like how we normally act like we were just like leaning on each other and like just being like physical like not like in a weird like annoying way we were just like hugging god fucking damn it um but in just like a normal way and then like we like saw ourselves from like a third person's perspective and we're like oh we really look like a couple we're the annoying couple in the airport that like is making out we're the annoying couple in the amusement park lines that's like leaning on each other. I'm scared. I have butterflies. What's that? Vetmont.

I bought some Vetmont. I think that looks like a tag that fell off of something that you picked up off the floor. Yeah, I bought this. It was $600. Yeah. Does Vetmont exist anymore? Yeah, I think so. Really?

But didn't Demna start Vetmont? I don't think he started it. I think he was a a creative director or he was like one of the head designers there i don't know you know don't come to me for information but yeah there we just saw each other and we were like wait this is weird yeah like if i do that like in public like it's it doesn't read the way it reads to y'all. Yeah, it just looks like a couple like fake jerking each other off. Being really fucking gross and nasty in public. But that's okay. That's okay because there has to be that for the world to go around.

That's my thing. That's my whole thing is the reason why I act a fool in public is because people get to go home to their monotonous lives and talk to their partner or their children or their parents or their friends and say i saw the craziest people in my life today and it gives them a little conversation to spark some joy in their life to make fun of me and i'm okay with that that's like uh in the video of me on the plane when we were landing yeah uh so many people were commenting like i just don't find that funny like and just like being like like like annoying like to be annoying and being like that's so no if i saw that i would be so annoyed personally i would not have let that slide if i was next to

you and it's like personally you should shut the fuck up because there's a chance you've been around that kind of behavior in a really serious way and you don't do anything about it and you just like look at your iphone and like continue to scroll tiktok and you don't care like never i don't feel like ever ever have we been in public being like stupid and someone's been actually upset by it like yeah i can't think of a single time someone's actually been annoyed because i feel like we read the room pretty well also me like that was like me the equivalent of me clapping if the airplane landed like that's like a similar amount of like obnoxious standing up and acting like i'm djing on a plane like i was listening to someone asked me that oh yeah what song were you listening to I was listening to

Fantasy by Mariah Carey yeah um oh this just surrender to the universe it's easier that way

what made you think that did you make that up yeah what the fuck I think no I I think I've heard that somewhere yeah from me okay I think I've heard that somewhere.

Yeah, from me. Okay. I think that's like what the Buddha said. Yeah. Just surrender to the universe. It's easier that way. I think it's like a big religious like ideology. Oh, oh my God.

Ah. Ah. Ah. ma'am i thought you were like a real slut surrender that was just on the ground of happy 99 this was yeah like 40 49 minutes yeah the shop is lucky 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 oh bammer rush um like the sorority shit have y'all been seeing that is that all what's the sorority sorority is like the girls getting together sororities fucking scare me and i don't fuck with those videos of those girls dancing it freaks me out are you talking about like the doors opening and i'm all like oh no that's that's the energy we need to take back to sororities because now they're like people are like into it i feel it's it's a new it's always been a thing but i think tiktok

is just now getting a hold of the culture and it's just like now spreading and get being put into everybody's minds but like like southern sorority culture is crazy it's like i mean frat culture too but like sorority culture is on a different level and like um it's just very fascinating to see like the ins and outs of it and then also see like how popular it has become on the internet because like i feel like even three years ago like it wasn't a hot take to be like sororities are terrifying like that was like funny to say and now i feel like it's almost like reverted back to being like sororities are like cool yeah no that's the energy i'm feeling from it i feel like hella people are like i love this like this is so awesome but i'm like this is probably one of the scariest and most lifeless videos i've

seen in my life yeah like all of them doing that one dance and i don't know which one you're referencing it's like it's that one song it's like it's like i can't think of the name of the song. I know which one you're talking about. Is that the song that's being used or did I just make that up? I think so. I think so. But I know which one you guys are lying. All of the girls are doing the dance where they get up and they're like doing that.

Yeah, yeah. And like, they're so scary. And for some reason, I'm using those videos and it being like a bunch of white girls doing the dance. It feels like I'm watching like a new Jordan Peele movie unfolding on TikTok. Yeah. It feels a bit like Midsommar or something. Yeah. It's like scary.

I'm like, whoa. It's culty. Well, I love women being women and finding sisterhood in each other and being able to be comfortable. Shouldn't you like fuck with frats though? Because you're like a boy. So I don't know why you're like. I just love women being powerful. We like to bond over us specifically.

And it's just different for me. Are you trying to say I'm misogynistic? I'm not. We didn't say anything. The one thing. But if you feel that way. I just feel like I'm being pitted against by like the will say men in the room and i know drew feels the same way i'm a little bit disappointed yeah why your legs cross now that you're talking like this

we're just in your hands you're like well if you really respected women yeah and we're not telling you we're not telling you what to do. It seems like it, though. But we're not. You would just respect women. Oh, it's just that easy. Yeah. It doesn't feel like we're getting that from you anymore.

We were. Like, wait. Wait, are you the women now? No, no. Me and my altars and Kai. Yeah, I'm like a real person though right what what you know i'm a real person no you're one of my alters you've been working on this podcast working but i've let you take a front seat because i was like you know what like we'll share the spotlight a little bit like but like when you go away you go look look now he's like he's realizing you're not real

you've never been oh my god you aren't he has to work right now oh he's gonna oh my god he's gonna kill himself oh my god he's dramatic he can't even do it you're a pussy you're not gonna do it well now he's just throating his fingers. Yeah, so that's the big surprise of the episode. Kai is an alter. The big surprise is we're not in LA and I'm never going back. We're never going back unless we're begged to. Unless you want to beg for it. Unless the people of LA need us back.

Who wants to buy more now? The boys are back in town! The boys are back in town! I literally was planning last night. I was like, damn, when I get back to LA, that's the first thing I'm posting. Damn. Is that song. The boys are back in town.

You better stick to it because that's hilarious. I was going to post that song last night because I was like, damn, that song is. So gang. Yeah, because you fucking throated it. I was going to post it last night and I was like, wait, I have to save this. The boys are back in town. It's so. wrote it it um i was gonna post it last night and i was like wait i have to save this the boys dude our friend group is just soundboards like that's all we are we are fucking soundboards we are terrifying we are like we don't kill the vibe as if we don't walk down the street all being like

oh my god yeah literally like the other day we were walking down the street and i was like oh my god and every single one of us like one after another it just triggered a chain reaction and every single one of us just had to make the sound and we had to do it better than the person yeah and we just kept going it was like a competition yeah and then i realized i was like holy shit we Like, we just, like, hear one of us make a loud sound, and we have to make the next louder sound. You know, we're crazy, but we are free. Think about it. We are free.

We are free. We do have fun. We love ourselves. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, oh. Okay. We need to do media.

We need to do media. We need to do media. Media. Media of the week. Media of the week. Okay. My media of the week was mine and Kai's DJ set. Yes. Go check out the videos online.

It was fucking lit. I could upload it somewhere. That's me if I was British. I've been thinking about doing that. Or should we gatekeep the... We need to gatekeep the mix. it was fucking lit I could I could upload it somewhere that's me if I was British and I was doing a radio hosting show or should we gatekeep the we need to gatekeep the mix we should gatekeep it we need to gatekeep it

but anyone else but you by the moldy peaches we threw that song on the set it was super cute gatekeeping the set

super super duper cute well it's all over the internet because it was an iconic moment It was super cute. You can't keep me in the same place. Super, super duper cute. I can't keep your word. Well, it's all over the internet because it was an iconic moment. Me when I think it was an iconic moment. Dude, wait. Why did we beef over at the car?

Literally, Drew said something to me and it came off in my head like he was being like what was it? dude it was like you made a comment you were like I've never been to that side of the city like in the financial district and I like made a comment where I was like yeah well you don't go where you don't belong and you don't belong in the financial district

I think I said like okay Mrs. City girl or something like that oh okay you did the thing where you financial district. I think I said like, okay, Mrs. City Girl or something like that. You know, you're like, oh, okay. No, you did the thing where you say something and it's kind of like real, but it's like not. I swear on my entire life, there was no emotion behind my joke. Dude, I think because you were so monotone, it felt like you were like annoyed that I told you

you shouldn't go to the financial district. Oh, yeah, you were like, you shouldn't go. And then I was like, city, okay. You were like, okay, Mrs. then i was like city okay you were like okay mrs enya the local like whatever yeah and it came off so real and i don't even know what i said and then you were like i was like oh not you being mad at me actually fucking saying that to you right now and i was like i was joking please please and then we all argued about where the empire state building was um okay the empire state building is ribbed for your pleasure no that's the Chrysler building the Chrysler building is right um okay so life is perfecto cfcf is literally a classic

um and then the last song i need to find it it let's just say where the fuck is it I don't know but it's title well I can't find it but we'll just do Raymond Scott Sleepy Sounds

for Baby Volume 1 just go listen to that little album it's really cute it's like sleepy time music and then for show i haven't really watched anything on the airplane i watched um fuck what did i watch i wasn't there oh fuck what did i

watch what did i watch what did i watch i have it saved in my letterbox i'll start mine though uh summertime the sundays automatic by hikaru utada i think i already said that i love you always forever donna lewis west end girls by pet shop boys because duh like literally oh you're watching info wars on the plane um and then this uh Masayoshi Takenaka song, but I can't read it. So you just guess. We actually are the info world. We're the info wars who are like the gay girls and the gays. Like that's literally all we are. I don't know what that is. Oh, and then movie is the best movie ever.

Mermaids. What a cast. Cher, Winona Ryder and Christina Richie I watched Spencer and then I watch the unbearable weight of massive talent which brings me to my last point why don't we have actors like nick cage um in society anymore it doesn't feel like we have just like super cool people doing super cool things anymore um i think the movie star is dead fully the movie star is dead they're all becoming influencers because they want a piece of my fucking pie well guess what bitch you're not? You're not going to get any of it. I am my own person.

I invented this shit. All the fucking things you're doing, I've been doing for eight years. Tap in. Tap in. Try to try to tap in. You can't have this. You can't fucking have this, bitch. Thank you guys so much for watching.

Oh, my God. My media is the sound that... My media is the... Okay, bye. What's your... My media is the sound that Drew makes when I blow his back up. Okay, yeah, bye. Bye.