Emergency Intercom - alright listen up gay people

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

enya gives 50+ swingers a pass and drew got scammed in multiple ways this week which is especially bad because he’s in his luteal phase  Find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today at https://zocdoc.com/intercom. Upgrade your selling today and sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom. Get 20% off sitewide and a free travel case and countertop stand at https://getquip.com/intercom.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, we wanted to take a quick break to thank today's sponsor, Shopify. Y'all, Shopify is a life-changing platform. I've said it once, I'll say it again. I have built many businesses through Shopify. We own many businesses. A many, a many, a many, a many businesses. And we couldn't do it without Shopify. And listen, what you need to do right now is not only start your business,

but upgrade that business and get the same check out all birds uses. Sign up for your one dollar per month trial period at Shopify dot com slash intercom. All lowercase go to shop five dot com slash intercom to upgrade your selling today. Thank you! Hey! Bye y'all. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom guys. I finally saw Nosferatu. I want to go to sleep. That movie was boring as fuck. I want to suck your vagina.

I want to suck the period out of your vagina. I want to suck your vagina. I want to suck the period out of your vagina. I want to suck your penis. Uh, horny ass fucking. Honestly, it wasn't as horny as people let it on to be. Like it was a good movie. I don't want people to walk away and be like, oh my God, like what a fucking idiot bitch, freak bitch doesn't know who Nosferatu is. I know it's good.

They're gonna walk away thinking that regardless, cause that's just who you are, you're an idiot freak bitch, like just period. Like that's just like you. I guess yeah, you are what you eat. And I stay eating you. You stay munching on this kitty cat, this box. Ew. Like ew.

Also Drew had to run around the house naked today and I'm so sad I missed it. Oh my god, yeah it was horrible. Literally horrible. Um, worse, worse fucking- The drama, like, is horrible. Well it was freezing cold, my penis was tiny, I'm never sleeping naked again in my life

because the one time I did, cause I was like, oh I got a heated blanket in my bed, like I don't need to wear all these clothes, like cause I normally wear- Wait, when did you get a heated blanket? Like four days ago. Oh my God, you didn't tell me about that. I normally wear like head to toe sweat suit to bed.

Who were you with when you got the blanket? Just I would like, where, did you order it or did you like get it? I ordered it. Okay. What the fuck? I'm just saying like, feels like something you should have like gotten the mail

and showed to me, I show you everything I get. So it's just weird. Well, there's reasons and showed to me. I show you everything I get. That's just weird Well, there's reasons why you don't I feel like you're I personally feel like you're in the wrong true Thank you. He got a heated blanket behind my back. Like I feel like I haven't sorry. Jesus fucking christ. What did I do? Normally, I just normally I sleep head to toe in a sweatsuit because our house is so fucking cold It is literally so freezing in here all the time so I was Like, you know, I'm gonna get a heated blanket and then I was like actually I don't need to wear clothes to bed anymore I really don't need to like I'm gonna sleep naked for the first time in a long time was rudely awoken to our sound or our

Security system blaring through the fucking house. Like it's the worst sound I've ever heard in my entire fucking drive. Yeah, it really does sound like, you know, when you stumble upon the weird ass, like end of the world sirens throughout the world and it's just the scariest noises you could think of that is what the alarm system sounds like. And like all the way in my room, like you don't really hear how awful it is, but when you're at the security panel, it is inside of you. It's not like a sound you're hearing. It's reverberating through your bones. It's shaking your insides. But I was butt-ass naked running through the house to turn it off

because I was scared they were going to call the police and they still fucking called me and they said they were gonna send a security guy to our house but they literally didn't so they lied to me. Well maybe that's better then because you just had to run around the house naked. Yeah and I was so scared someone was gonna like run out after me to get to the alarm but everyone was fucking gone or faking like they were asleep because you don't sleep through that but I mean mean, I could I'm not going to lie. No, when it went off that other time, I didn't sleep through it. But I've realized.

When I wake up to my phone, if I go to sleep and I have an alarm set and I end up staying up later and I don't end up waking up on time, I will wake up and I have slept through my alarm to the point that it doesn't say like. Snooze. Like it literally it's the gray screen that says snooze or repeat and it'll be hours later, which means I've just like slept through the noise.

I sleep through an alarm like nothing. It's genuinely. It's actually insane. It means nothing to me. Like your silly alarm sounds that you think are gonna wake me up, they mean fucking nothing to me. Don't even try. Like literally don think are gonna wake me up, they mean fucking nothing to me. Don't even try. Literally don't try to wake me up.

Wait, hold on. This is my alarm sound, wait. Also, everybody got on us about our lighting in the last episode, so this is our attempt at good lighting for a podcast, if you were wondering. Like this is genuinely- It's been three years. It's been three years and it looks like no

We're almost four years and we're like, yep, let's get a light in right there Yeah, perfect. And if you could see the way it looks you'd be shocked. Wait, how do you change your find your alarm? Cuz I want to know it's in the clock app. I know but like I want to know What alarm sound you use? Oh, which oh I have a plethora because trust and believe I've had to try them all. Like I've literally had to try them all. What's crazy is in high school, I used to wake up to like, I had my alarm set to like Frank Ocean for a while, which is crazy. Because I guess I just never fell into REM sleep.

I just would be awake. This will interrupt us in a second. But is it just like your classic alarm sound? REM sleep, I just would be awake. This will interrupt us in a second, but. Is it just like your classic alarm sound? Yeah, this has been the week of me getting scammed, by the way. I've literally been scammed three different fucking times this week.

One, the first time was by my favorite rapper, and I've been withholding this story from y'all for so long because. was by my favorite rapper. And I've been withholding this story from y'all for so long because... That's not waking me up. See, like that literally, I'm actually, like you've just transported me to the underwater world of Fortnite.

And like that's where I'm at in my dreams. Like my feet are going like this time, looking at my feet go down a water slide with that. That sounds like a Blade song. No, that shit, that wakes me up every fucking time, like no questions asked. And I don't know if people, I don't think a lot of people use that specific sound

because I hear the one that everybody uses that they get pissed about on like TikTok. And for the first time ever, they use that alarm sound in a TikTok and it really did send shutters through my body. Like it really did like activate my fight or flight sound. This is what I have for one of my alarms. Oh my god, hello.

What is this one? Oh, see you do wake up to that alarm because I was like, dude, you sleep through that every single morning. No, I sleep through it. And then I've switched to this one. And I sleep through it. I had a sleepover with Rain and she was mad as fuck at me. And I'm not allowed to put on alarms in her house anymore because like literally she had to kept waking up and like find my phone to turn off my alarm because I don't turn them off. I feel like I just like like I like nudged away.

The vibration will wake me up sometime. You need to get the vibrating bed. Actually, no, you don't. No, I'll tell you that much right now. She wouldn't. She already never leaves that goddamn bed. She'd be catatonic. Toes curling.

I want to get the alarm that you have to shoot with a gun. What? You don't have it? I know what you're talking about. Like I feel like it was such a thing in like the nineties, like in a movie, some kid would have one and it was like, it's like a laser style gun, like a laser. Oh, okay. What is that frequency that gives us cancer from our phone? Swear I know, of all people.

The AR, the VR, what is it called when you're looking at your phone and like- Oh, the IR? Yeah, infrared, yeah. That shit gives us cancer, by the way. 100%. Bro, everything does, like next. I know, even the fucking fiber I've been taking

gives me cancer, but I got scammed by my favorite fucking rapper, y'all. I literally did, and I knew I was fucking up by buying this, but Edward Skeletrix released an engraved iPod with his new album on it. Oh, I remember I was like, yeah, you should do that. I know. I know. That's fucking awesome.

And no hate. No hate. I got got like simply put. Like I don't give a fuck. Like, but it was $100 and I want my fucking engraved iPod but That's the thing is I wouldn't want to refund the ideas good enough I'm like just do it and it wasn't it wasn't directly from Edward Skeletrix

It was from the people selling like an engraving them like this. It was like No, it was like he collaborated with this brand. So I DMed them on the side and was like, can I buy one of those? I really, really want one. And they were like, yeah, sure. Just send your money to this really sketchy ass like website link. And I was like, okay, yeah, I will.

And they were like, make sure you put your password in or your address and shit in. And I was like, yeah, I will. That was like a month and a half. They're like, don't forget the last four digits of your social. Don't forget it. Yeah, I will. That was like a month and a half. They're like, don't forget the last four digits of your social, don't forget it. Yeah, I will. Don't worry.

So yeah, I got scammed trying to get an Edward Skeletrix iPod. And again, I genuinely don't care. I want my money back, but no hate. I got simply put. And then I got scammed three days ago. This one still really, really, really hurts me. Like this one actually upsets me.

So and you needed to go to a bra shop to like get new fucking bra and panties and I went in there and was like way too horny. So I had to walk out. There was actually a guy in there who I didn't tell you about actually finish your scam and then I'll So I was like, oh I'll go next door to the skincare store next door Next door to the skincare store next exactly. I walk in and it is so

sterile sterile and like Dark dark dark energy, but it's so bright so it doesn't make sense, it doesn't compute and it's like really, really bad vibes and I'm just like kind of floating around and they're like, oh, you know we're a spa, right? And I was like, yeah, I didn't know that. I was like, oh, I just wanted to look at y'all's products. And so I'm like going through the line

and I'm like, what's y'all's flagship product? And they're like, oh, it's our hyaluronic acid, da da da da da. And I was like, oh, do you have body wash? And they like pointed and they were like, it's the big bottle. You can use the hand soap if you wanna use any of our products, you should wash your hands.

And the hand soap smells like the body wash, which smelled like dick and balls. It really, it really smelled like gooch, like macooch. Like it was, it was rancid fucking vibes, like rotten tooth. But it was really nasty. So I washed my hands and I didn't use any of the products because I was literally terrified of everybody in there. And I was like, I should just leave.

I'm not gonna buy anything. I don't need anything. My skin looks great. I added two new things to my skincare regimen and it completely changed my life. I know that morning he came into my room and he was like, look, and started like shaking his head around.

Bitch, people keep asking me if I got facials and babe I did, but not the kind you're thinking of. Ew. Oh my God, dude. But, what was I saying? I got distracted by me getting a facial. I had to wear flashbacks.

What was I saying? I don't know, people keep asking you about your good fucking skin, damn. You were like bragging. Yeah, that's pretty. Oh yeah, my skin, my skin is great. No, no, no, I was like, I was like, I'm not gonna buy anything from this goddamn store

because I don't need anything. But the way they were treating me made me just feel like I needed to buy something. They always fucking get you. They always get me. They like prey upon my ego and it works every time. And I should have just fucking walked out because it's not cheap skincare.

Like it's really, really not. I didn't know that was that expensive. Yeah, so I'm like. Because it's a brand they carry in Sephora. So I was like, oh yeah, that would be cute. You go in there. Yeah, I knew it was a little more expensive. And as I was walking out, I was like,

actually, you know what, I'm gonna prove them wrong. They don't think I can buy this shit. I'm gonna buy this shit. So I'm like, oh, I'll just get the night serum. And they were like, oh, okay. And they started treating me like I deserve to be treated. They started treating you like a human being. Yeah, exactly.

So I get to the checkout counter and I see a number flash across the screen and I didn't even think it was a possibility for this tiny little fucking bot. I'm not exaggerating y'all. This big, this round, this big, the size of Kai's penis, really, really, really, really tiny. Okay, that's not accurate, but...

But I'm like, I see a number flash across the screen and I'm like, there's like, there's no way. That must have been the order before, right? Like, there's no way that that is for that. You were like, you were trying to convince me. Like, I was there with you, like, there's no way. Absolutely, no way. So I'm like, sitting there, he's like, oh, I can take your card now. And I was like, okay. And then he like has one of the like portable things. He didn't tell me the price and before and like I'm going to tap my card down. I'm like, I was expecting, I'm expecting like $100, $120 max on this little fucking vial. Like I would have been uncomfortable.

Yeah, because it's like a nice skincare brand, but you're not expecting like. Yeah, and I like, I go to tap my card and I'm like, oh my fucking God. Like y'all, it was 363 fucking dollars for a single vial. A popper sized amount. Literally, literally.

Literally, it was literally popper sized. And I was like, are you out of your fucking mind? And then you paid for it and you walked out and you said thank you guys so much for the reaction. Exactly. I was like, y'all's customer service was amazing. Thank you guys so much for stealing my money. Stealing my money.

You guys really made me feel at home You have no idea because that's two of your like biggest insecurities is like being rejected by customer service Yes, and like financial stuff exactly Expensive exactly Literally one thing about jurors. He's not spending that fucking money. No, like he's not gonna do it Well, he spends money on me, but for stuff that doesn't matter, he won't spend money. Well, like your hole is cheap, so it's not. Yeah, you ran through 25 bucks.

25 bucks a pop. I also just wanna clarify, oh, my dick isn't like small like a popper. It's actually big like a Yankee candle, but continue. Ew, that is like disgusting. It hurts. But yeah, and then- It hurts. I literally thank them.

I thank them for stealing my money, stealing. It's blind robbery. Bitch, it has been sitting on my fucking desk for the past three days because I refuse to fucking open that shit and make my skin oily. He was trying to convince one of our friends to go back and return it for you. Oh yeah, this was our method. This was our method.

I was going to, he was like, you should still do. Yeah, it's getting returned. Like the thing is that we are two people nearing 30 at a rapid rate sitting here talking about how you got scams when really we still navigate the world like children and we're too embarrassed to be like, Hi, so what's the price on that? Because I'm scared nobody takes me serious. I'm like, no, you don't care.

Well, they see me and they don't take me serious, which is my fault. But also because we literally this is how me and Drew going to stores because we are not social people in that way we go in and I literally... Like all creepy and shit. Yeah, we're making jokes. We literally whisper to each other and laugh and don't talk to anybody and it's not to be rude. It literally is. I am so terrified because also if I get locked in a conversation, I'm scared. Mainly because I will talk someone's ear off.

Yeah. I would tell them, tell them the method that he came up with. Drew is going to send one of our friends back to the shop with my card and ID and say, hey, I sent my nephew in here and I told him he could get something nice for himself while I was at another shop. He was supposed to only spend 100 to $150 and he spent almost double that. So I need to return this. No, I did spend double that, almost triple that.

So he's gonna go in with my wallet or with my card, my ID and the receipt and the skincare. But the thing is that doesn't make sense is your pictures on your ID. They're gonna like. Just in case they ask. They're gonna look at me like. So you killed this man, took his wallet and his skincare

and now you're trying to get $360 back on the card? Like what? Not even that, but they're gonna be like, this isn't your fucking nephew. Like literally. Oh, literally. Like the friend. I'm adopted, I'm adopted, I'm adopted. Nothing to like, like by any means. I think I actually am adopted. I'm adopted. I'm adopted. Nothing I like like by any means.

I think I actually am adopted. I mean, I think so too. And I think it was a huge mistake. Huge. I'm tiny. And you has no idea how to compliment me anymore. No, I don't. I don't know what Drew wants.

Like anything Drew is like my girlfriend who anything I say is going to be a problem. She's on her period right now. Just don't even say anything. Don't even talk to her what's it called luteal face yeah like Drew is always at his luteal face. Permaludial. There is no way to compliment. Wait that's my band name. My drag name is permaludial or something there's luteal. I guess it would make sense because you would look like shit all the time luteal is. Bitch fuck you. It's a bad one right? No l Luteo, L-O-U-T-E-A-L. Luteo. Fuck you, that cooked, I cooked.

That cooked. But Inyo tries to compliment me and she'll be like, oh Drew, you look so strong today. And I'm like, cool, so I'm fucking ginormous and fat and greasy and gross. And I'm a fucking- I know, I can't say anything to it today. I was like, oh my God, you look really good today.

You look like tiny. And then he was like, okay, well I was trying to gain weight, but like, it's okay, fine. I know, I gained five pounds and no one noticed. No one noticed. But guys, literally, like there is, but also I don't compliment men. So I like, I genuinely don't know what to say.

Like, I don't know what, like what are you even supposed to say to a man to make him happy? Like, you're the man, girl. Don't say shit, that's what you say. Twerk on it. Ooh. No, literally, I don't plan on ever.

Also, I don't need to be good at complimenting, like, also straight men, but you are harder to compliment because you're not like a normal gay person. You're like a very weird kind of gay person. Does that make sense? Neither of those are true. All my other gay friends.

What the fuck are you talking about? So easy to compliment. Drew, like literally has to be so specific. Literally all you have to do is say my skin looks nice and my hair looks dense and I will get a boner. Like. Eww. But yeah, I don't know how to compliment men

and I don't plan on learning because like I seriously, I'm not kidding. I wish I was kidding. I'm like, what could you say to a man that would make it fit like. You look strong today. But no, if you compliment a straight man. You could rule the world if you put your mind to it.

I love you. If you compliment a straight man, they think you're like hitting on them. Yeah, it's like not, it's really, really dark sighted and twisted. I sliced, sliced my finger open down to the bone, inches wide. It was horrible. It was gushing blood everywhere. It was dark.

It was sad. And I should have used ZocDoc. I really, I really should have used ZocDoc to go get stitches because I now have an open wound on my finger, which I probably should go look, go get it looked at with ZocDoc because it smells like rotting flesh. Ew. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book

an appointment. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash intercom to find an instantly book, a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash intercom. Zocdoc.com slash intercom. When I need a doctor, I'm heading to Zocdoc. Hey, guys, we want to take a quick break

to thank one of today's sponsors for this episode, Shopify. Shopify has the simplest checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%. Listen running a business is already hard enough. Shopify will consolidate all the information you need to keep your business growing into one platform. So I mean step it up. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling and strolling

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Put poopy on my working. I'm a working man. Wait, hold on actually We were talking about poopy butt earlier today. Me and Kai had a poop butt conversation and me and Inya had a poopy butt conversation. Oh, separately, wow. Yeah. Inya was like, oh, I like wipe my ass with like water from the sink. She stands over the sink crouch

and like wipes her ass like that to get the poop out of her butt after she poops. I actually can't have this conversation. I don't care. Like I really can't and I don on camera. Like, I really can't. And I don't put my ass up in the sink. In the same sink she brushes her teeth in. It's crazy.

It's really crazy. No, actually I have my hairspray bottle for when I get my hair all curly and I'm too frugal to buy a bidet. So I just put steaming hot water in it and I just put the... But the bottle's really long, so usually the end of the bottle gets in the poop water.

And Kai was telling me that he loves when he's showering when he like fingers a dingleberry out of his butt. It's a cathartic. Like it's really not that funny it's just funny because like it's not funny. 3 30 year olds talking about dingleberry poop. I do find poop jokes to be so funny they really are so funny Also, I went had breakfast this morning and the bitch behind me had the most annoying Dog on the planet and I never wanted so badly to turn around and kick the fuck out of that dog like her and that Dog needed to fucking go. I you the saying all dogs go to heaven. Yeah by my hands. I hate dogs I really don't fuck with them at all. I've been killing dogs.

No, don't say that. I've been killing dogs. Oh, you shouldn't say that on the podcast. No, I've been killing them, you know. I've been running them over. No, guys, I like dogs. No, you know that about me. Wait, what?

We're gonna add like that kind of thing. Oh wait, I didn't even tell them what happened to me. Something really, really bad happened to me. Like something so bad. Mind you, me and Drew haven't been hanging out this week as we've been busy doing our own thing So, oh my god small cut Sorry drew and this fucking cut like one thing

I don't think I genuinely don't know if I will let you like raise children I don't think I genuinely don't know if I will let you like raise children because the way you act about like I feel like they're gonna be gypsy roses mom to your kid. No, no, I know. I will. My kid is sick. I will be. Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck to my kid is sick. My kids will be gypsy roses mom and I'll be gypsy rose. Like I'll be the one that's sick all the time and I'll be making them make me sick by telling you Oh, can you pour me a glass of water? Meanwhile, I'm putting Minute amounts of cyanide in the bottom of the cup. So they're poisoning me And it's not me poisoning me but

Yourself munch was it munch on my proxy syndrome munch housings by Wait, I'm gonna munchausen. I knew it. I'm gonna munchausen on her P word till she's proxy. Munchausen on her proxy. Yeah, I'm munching on her proxy until she's housing this dick. Oh, okay.

In her vagina. Right, right. Okay. I need to shut the fuck up. But y'all, I cut myself. I've been cutting myself. We'll insert the pictures of the bloody finger. Look away if you don't want to see them. Also for audio listeners, I've been cutting myself.

We'll insert the pictures. Sounds so crazy. I was trimming the tendrils off my Monstera. She's a very happy girl. She's very, very happy. That plant hates this bitch. She likes that plant. She fucking hates me, bro.

Azul fucks that plant. That plant hates its fucking life. And it's poisonous to Azul, and Azul still eats it. No, Azul is addicted to it. I think Azul gets a little high off of it because he goes and eats it and runs around and then gets under my bed, throws up under my bed. Or throws up in my bed.

Yeah, he just like goes and throws up. Maybe we shouldn't be talking about poisoning Azul with my Monstera. No, it's not us poisoning him, it's him. No, I talked to my bed about that. Get off my dick. Like, what? I take my cut to the bed.

And he doesn't eat it anymore. But I was cutting the tendrils off and I had a serrated blade and I was sawing through all of them. I was like sawing and it was like cutting through a fucking stick. It was like wood and it was like a lot. And it was like rotating the plant around

as it was sawing. And I had like about 20 of them to cut through. You know what's crazy is like, no one was there and what you are describing, it sounds like the weakest. Like, it's like not vivid. This is like you're trying to describe this like vivid landscape of like, you're in the jungle. Hacking through the jungle.

Really, it's you, a 27 year old almost man, on the floor. I'm not fucking 27, chill out. No, literally though. I know you just getting mad at me like. No, I was in such a bad mood too, I was so fucking pissed. I was like so pissed. Cause the plant wouldn't stop rotating around

and I'm like, bitch, you're like 300 pounds, like chill the fuck out. but I'm sawing through it but I'm I'm cutting through all of them and there's about 20 of them and I go one by one and I get through all of them and all of them take the same amount of strength and the same amount of cuts. And I'm like, oh wow, this is actually way easier than I thought. Then I get to the last fucking one,

the last little tinge roll and I'm sawing and I like go in there and I'm like, I'm using the same amount of pressure that I did before and it cuts like fucking butter. And then I saw through it and it saws through my fucking finger and my fingernail. And I split my skin. I should have got stitches, legit.

You should have just killed yourself. I know I thought about it. Yeah, you should have. Wait, why would I kill myself? I just had like a quarter inch cut. Because honestly, you're already starting. Wow, yeah. Like going.

I didn't even think about that. Why did you agree with her? I just agree with that sentiment. It's just like instinctually. I'm the kind of go-getter that like once I start, I don't stop until I finish. Yep. It's my time.

My time is up. I thought you said it's bedtime. Drew called me and said that his skin was rotting off of his fingers. It is disgusting. Like he should have just gone to the ER and just at least had it like rinsed out with like a good, he should have gone to Rite aid and get a little thing.

I'm alive and I still have my full fucking finger. I did it. You look sickly. You have actually, you know what? This is so disgusting and I'm going to out myself for the nastiest thing ever. I have had a really dense past month, just been busy and I'm not. Period. What? Oh, I thought you were saying you had a dense period. And I'm not- Period.

What? Oh, I thought you were saying you had a dense period. That's what I thought too. No, but I did have the kind of period that felt like the period of Christmas past. It was like bubble, bubble, bruling like soil, like whatever the witches would say over the pot. Like that's what it was.

What the fuck was that? Was it there like bubble, bubble, bruling something? Like- I've never heard that once in my life. You have, it's like a. Hold on, I'll look it up. You keep telling. I forgot what I was saying, so.

Your period was bad. Or you were having a dense month. Oh, bitch, this is actually disgusting. It's better now, guys. I'm not somebody who like, I don't get like pedicures all the time. I used to get them all the time, but now I like maintain my own hands and feet at home because I could actually, I would rather walk into the street and get hit by oncoming traffic than sit in a random place with a stranger who I met three seconds ago and they're rubbing between my toes. And I have to

act like they're not there but also be Like thank you. You're doing an amazing like it's just a lot Some people really like touching feet I Mean that's what I was thinking yesterday because I'm not gonna lie when I was going in on my own toes I had to go in but I wish I took a picture my feet Granted I also cleaned crazy yesterday and like my feet were really dirty. I was so cold in my toes where I literally had Nosferatu feet.

Like there's no other way to describe it. I had Nosferatu claws. Were they worse than mine? No, my feet, I've been so busy and disassociated from my body as of recent that I have not looked at my feet. No, it's not a good thing because my shit was rank as fuck. Like I can't even lie. It was nasty. Now they look amazing. I like did them up. I gave like, I really like, but there was a remodeling happening last night. Like last night we closed early. Like is that the way the chainsaw dude, I was sitting at my like in my room for two

hours. It took me two hours. Wait, can I see them? Wait, let me see them. Wait, let me have that sock. Can I see your sock? Oh, Drew's making fun of me. Yeah. Kai has something to share. Did you guys see what happened on TikTok? No. This week? I basically got outed and I think we should address it on TikTok. And yeah, I don't know if you've seen this, but... That's so bad. It is really... I didn't know she was recording.

Okay, let me just say that. It is so bad. Tell me how beautiful that sock is. She's my bro. Tell me how beautiful that sock is. This is the most perfect sock. It's so beautiful, guys. I'm so trusting this sock. It's felt like this is gonna be a... Tell me how beautiful that sock is. Ew, I don't like that because it really does sound like you. That is like I can't do that. Don't keep watching.

It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I wore that sock a while. I took a walk in that sock. It's on FaceTime. The sock is so crazy. The sock is in the room. Like why is the sock in the room with you and not him? I thought he had the sock.

No, it's showing the sock on FaceTime. Like that's the craziest part. Honestly, if like people that perverted could find- Goddess. If like people that perverted could genuinely just find another person who could be that perverted with them, there's something sweet about that. Does that make sense? I'm like, oh, he really does just like is weird as fuck, but like respect. That's what I was saying about swingers.

I literally think swingers are so cute to me. Like legitimately, I think they're so cute. Like people that have been married. Yeah. Oh yeah oh older swingers younger swingers are nasty. How the fuck are you swinging in your 30s? But like 50 year old swingers, six year old that have been together for like 20 plus years 30 years and like their sex life has gotten a little boring and they're like let's spice things up like let's hook up with men and women like what if we did that and like I don't know I just think it's so cute

that they like, they explore, they explore. Because also in my head, a lot of those, I'm idealizing that idea, but I'm like, oh, y'all have really been together for so long. You actually are just homies now. In a way, we are swingers. Yeah, we are. Like we show up and we like, we, I mean,

we're always present at each other's like sexual activities. Yeah, you know what? We don't need to talk about that. But you know, the roommate phase, you ever heard of that? No. There's like a phase in relationships when people move in together, the roommate phase, and it's like the that's what kills most relationships.

And I was just like, reading a bunch about it and like reading. You watched a TikTok. I watched a single TikTok. Reading a bunch. That was real too. No, I know. Also, not just reading about it, I was reading a bunch. Don't get it twisted. I didn't see one paragraph, not two.

I saw like a few pages. If you think about it they did a bunch of reading on it and they relayed the information to me. It's not different. We should just start saying like someone told me. Yeah someone told me. That should be the new line someone told me. Someone told me.

I can't remember who but someone. Someone I really trust. I'm an expert now I'm an expert now on the roommate phase go look it up. It kills a lot of relationships. It's because they move in together and then they've never lived together and it's like when you move in with a roommate you hate and then like you kind of butt heads

and then things get stagnant and you're just hanging out all day and you're like, oh my God, I want my own fucking space. Oh my God, leave me the fuck alone. Oh my God, I hate you. Clean up after yourself. Oh my God, we're roommates. We don't do anything.

We just stay inside all fucking day long. I just don't think any couple needs to live together. Like I genuinely think living with a friend makes more sense to me. Yeah, well, it's also giving like, we don't desire like that. Like we have each other so we don't like, we're never lonely.

Like I feel like it's, there's like, it's like people that are like alone all the time and go to sleep alone and don't have roommates. They want like partners really badly to like hang out with all day long. But we have each other, which is a beautiful thing. Yeah, I just don't think I'd wanna hang out with a partner all day long.

No, I'm the same way. Like if I ever date someone, I literally need to see them maybe once a month. I'm not kidding. I mean, it does keep the excitement alive. Like, why do I have to see you every day? Also, I mean, I was it. No, I was going to say I like living with the I've always known

I wasn't the kind of person who could live with a partner because I did that for a very brief time in my early, early 20s, like when I was 19, 20. Also, I mean, when I was 19, 20, like when I was 1,900. Yeah, she was 1,900 years old. I did that very briefly, but I didn't wanna do it. Like I genuinely, I always knew from the beginning, I was like, this is not a good idea.

I got convinced into doing it. Guess what? The motherfucker moved out six months later. And we got into an argument the second we moved in because I wasn't picking up fast enough after myself when I was cooking. And I was like, oh hell no. You still don't.

I do when I'm cooking. I'll clean up after I cook. No, you don't. I'm kidding. I'm not doing the dishes after I cook. Damn, can I fucking chill? I just cook, fuck. That's why I literally am like, cooking food is evil. Cooking food is one when it's meant to be.

It's really demonic. It really is demonic. I'm not kidding. Cooking is demonic? Yeah. I think getting on that fucking. Oh wait, can we talk about Lady Gaga and how she's back in her demonic era?

I know, I'm so happy she's back. Thank God she's back in her demonic era. I know, I'm so happy she's back. Thank God she's back in her dynamic era. Denomic. Denomic, yeah. I don't know what that word means. Denomic is something I've been working on. She looked good at the Grammys. Yeah, she's so fierce.

Dude, she is like one of the most gorgeous people ever. I love her so much. Also, everyone was just amazing. Did you see Cynthia singing for the Quincy Jones tribute tribute she makes it look so fucking I know that's also like dochi because I think I can do that I'm like y'all dochi like I knew I knew but now I know like you know what I mean? Like literally that performance was mind blowing. I was so gagatondra 3000 by it.

Like literally bury me gagging. I was, I ate that shit up and I was like, oh, this is exactly what she needed. No, I know. She is just so fucking good. Also, she's gorgeous as fuck. But her NPR Tiny Desk, I think will be, I wonder if you too-

You still listen to that everyday. Yeah, I listen to it. It's my favorite thing to listen to in my pastime. It's so good. Cause it just, I really like when people reimagine albums. I listen to the album too, but just- Except when I go to a concert- I love but just- Except when I go to a concert- I love live instruments.

Except when I go to a concert and I wanna hear the song in its entirety and then they make this like weird shitty version of it that no one in the audience knows of their most famous song. And I'm like, you can do that. I'm like, some people can get away with that. Dochi can get away with that.

Travis Scott? No, I was gonna say- What are you doing? Drake doing that was the crazy- Dochi can get away with that. Travis Scott? No, I would say, um, Drake doing that was the greatest. That's when we should have known it was like, it was time to pack it up because what, what do you mean you're performing your hit song and now you think you can sing? Like we've always let you get away with a little bit of the singing but now it's like Like give it up your child or boring. Bye. Bye. Bye, bruh boy boy But yeah, the Grammys were such a night for the girls Sabrina's performance Everyone was good chapel like duh duh duh. You already know like you everyone know

It was like the best Grammys ever was so fan service in the best way Like I don't think anybody left angry. Billie Eilish I felt was snubbed in a couple ways. Which I was upset about. But I think people thought she was crying that she didn't win album of the year. But I think she was crying for Beyonce because Beyonce-

Beyonce had never won though. Yeah and like it was very- Beyonce has 35 fucking Grammys. But no winning album of the year is a huge thing. Yeah. Oh, I also signed up to get a pre-sale access to her new tour. Oh my God.

She's coming to LA for like four nights. I was gonna say, cause she has so many, but them always snubbing her of album of the year is crazy. And I, when I first saw her reaction like to winning country album, I was like, I think she's like playing it up a little bit, but then I really was like, oh no, she genuinely did not think.

Because imagine how many years she went thinking. Also for country album, like. Yeah, it is insane. That's T, that's T. Chapel like killed it always. She's that girl. Sabrina, I really, really liked her performance. I think it's so fun to not take yourself as serious. If Gaga smiled a little bit more and wore less makeup,

she'd be way hotter. Just put her hair up in sweatpants. She'd be way hotter. Hey, can any of the pop girls, can you start just wearing sweatpants, throwing her hair up in sweatpants. She'd be way harder. Hey, can any of the pop girls, can you start just wearing sweatpants, throwing your hair up in a bun? No makeup. You just don't give a fuck. Yeah.

Well, we need the pop girls. I know that it feels like we are being banished to the basement for all the fun we had with the pop girls last year, but I need y'all to pick it back up, please. Please. Because you said it perfectly perfectly i think we took for granted like last year for media in general but music and specifically pop music from the girls it was such a good year and a lot of these bitches are the type of bitches to be like i'm taking a two

year break because like i care and like, yes, I actually really appreciate that you guys care about like your mental health, but I'm like, exactly. We're waiting. What the fuck am I gonna listen to? Like, why has Rihanna not released an album? I honestly, I can't lie. I wanted to say that way because I kind of love an artist and dig on such a high weight. You know what's actually interesting is Rihanna took a page out of my book, not releasing an album and constantly teasing it all the time with your emoji. Yeah, she jacked my swag low key. Hey guys, we want to take a break for one of today's

sponsors. Oh my god, brah. Honestly, I genuinely don't know what more I can say about this damn ass toothbrush because I genuinely love it. I have to replace my head because I chew on it because something's wrong with me, but it genuinely is the most clean my teeth have ever felt in my life. And I know that is true. And I'm not just saying it to say it because since I have to replace my head, my dumb ass didn't sign up for the renewal of like the heads to just have them shipped in the mail.

And I have been using a regular toothbrush and I'm not kidding. I don't think I've brushed my teeth properly in like three days. So no head? If you don't absolutely love your Qwip 360, you can return it for free within 30 days. Just for listeners of Emergencies Intercom, get 20% off sitewide and a free travel case and counter stop stand at getqwipquip.com slash intercom. Free your mouth today at getquipquip.com slash intercom. Free your mouth today and save 20% side-wide

plus a free travel case and counter top sand at getquipquip.com slash intercom. Getquipquip.com slash intercom. I'm such a good reader, thank you guys. Also, the Lady Gaga Bruno Mars song was about- If the world was ending, I wanna be next to Drew. Wait, also me singing Bags by Clare O going absolutely fucking viral everywhere.

That was what you were singing? I couldn't even tell. I couldn't even tell what this was. You ugly motherfucker. Oh my was. You ugly motherfucker. Oh my God. You ugly bitch. No, Kyle looks good today. No, you do look gorgeous.

I think you look good in navy. You're like this zip up. I mean, you are quite literally just copying my vibe. No, I'm not. Genuinely from head to toe. You're- You wanna be here so fucking bad. Same jeans, a zip up. Oh yeah, it's cause I'm obsessed with you guys

Sis we've been me. My Literally says I'm from we've been new We've been uses You made we've been uses up it was it was we've been new sis and then you like said like I'm from we've been uses or some shit like that. And like, it became culturally, it wasn't a thing until you said Weebanousis. There's no way. I swear to God, cause I remember-

It's just too easy because remember when that was flooding comments like, okay, like, what am I gonna look at Weebanousis? Like noted Weebanousis. I just caught Weebanousis. I overdosed on Weebanousis. Buck, I can't wait to smoke a weebinoosis after this. Oh yeah, it's gonna hit so fast.

Well, I think what would really bring us together right now is another step up movie. We need, we are high. It is high time. Also a scary movie. For a step. We've had like eight million. Talk to the hand. No, no, no. I mean parody movies Also a scary movie. For a step, we've had like eight million. No. Talk to the hand. No, no, no, I mean parody movies.

Oh, oh yeah. Like I wanna write a parody movie. Well we saw that one scary movie together, Queer. That was scary. That was scary. Why was it scary for you, Kai? No, it was a horror movie. You know what?

It really was a horror movie for me. You know what? It is scary to go and see yourself for the first time. I was gonna say it was a really, really scary movie for me. I'm not kidding. Like I really walked out of there and it made me think a lot of really scary thoughts, how I am an evil person and I'm gonna be alone forever

because I've been both sides and I have a lot of bad karma. I see clouds from both sides now. Can you come fix this? Thank you. That was me singing. Okay, well real quick. And if you guys were wondering what I've been doing, just look on the side. I've been thinking a lot and I think I want to make some videos where I kind of just like talk to the camera and get a bit more personal but I'm having a hard time doing it because I just feel like

that's perfect. It's a bit embarrassing to get on camera and just talk to the camera but maybe that's like not the way I should be viewing it. Okay, we just wrapped it. But you haven't seen the movie, so it won't make sense to you, but it'll hit. But fucking, I said at least she has taste in something. Because the belt is good. Wait, can you say it one more time? I said Kai's belt was nice.

And then he said it's his ex-girlfriend's. And I said, at least she's got taste in something. Wait, one more time. It was a joke. Like Kai's ex-girlfriend is really hot and she, we could cut that out. We could cut it out. We can leave it in.

I think that's cool. I mean, she is a baddie. I know she is. She's like, she's girl trade. No, she is. She's literally like. No, she is. She's literally like. No, it's so fucked up. Kai pulls the baddest bitches.

Actually, all of our friends have girlfriends who, if left in a room alone with me, I would be really awkward. I would just be really scared. Like, I actually, I wouldn't do anything, but I'd be like. What if we did do something? Oh, I was thinking about something the other night.

That's like really freaky. What did you say? Yeah, it's like it was so freaky. I would finish that. No, I can't say it. What did you say, though? You said something weird. I said my girlfriend is so slutty.

Just for you, babe. Drew. Should we add some media? Yeah, well, I just wanna say about, look, the movie, I know it wasn't a horror movie. I'm not homophobic. It was a scary experience for me because Drew was like, we're sitting together. Kai invited me.

Kai invited me to go see Queer. No. Alone, me and him. No, he tricked me. He was like we're gonna go see a cool straight movie, we're gonna see Wolf of Wall Street. It's back in theaters. We walk into that shit, it's a movie called Queer,

and I'm freaking out, I'm sweating. And we're inching, I'm inching way really, really close. And then he's like oh by the way, you can have as much popcorn as you want. I did. But he puts it on his dick. And so every time I had to grab it and then he would wink at me, it was weird.

Well, you kept getting closer and closer. The thing is, that's the way y'all play or joke with each other. So I really can't, I can imagine like all of that. I know that's literally like, we were doing all of that as a bit, but no, Kai inviting me to go see Queer is crazy first of all.

I love Luke. No, it was. Oh, Luke of What a Lahara. My take on the movie was, right. No, it was awesome. It was a good vibe. And like, I do think it is really good for gay men to go see because it is really eye-opening in a lot of ways

Specifically younger gay men also it's really good for older gay men to see to be like Oh this experience that I'm experience is like universal because it's not talked about in the gay community at all But just don't be a dickhead period That's it. I need to see it really bad. I'm like late on the movies I literally I was the last human on the planet, you know, for all to that shit was empty as fuck. Kai clocked it's tea so bad though. Like in a good way.

He was like, it's what... Bo's afraid. Yeah, yeah. What'd you say? It was like the gay version of Bo's afraid. Like the good version. You said it's the good version of Bo's afraid. The good version.

Yeah, but also the gay version. I liked it a lot more than Bo's Afraid, but it feels like a similar type of movie. I need to watch it. It was really, really weird for him to do. Like random? Yeah, like for Luca to like put out. Speaking of Luca,

I actually don't even know if I can talk about it. The trade? The like Lakers trade? Y'all. Y'all. The worst, the worst, I genuinely think that ruined my life. It like literally ruined my life and I contemplated suicide. I've never cried in my life before and I cried over the Luca trade. He was supposed to be in your life. Yeah, he was supposed to be a Maverick for the rest of my goddamn life and because I'm planning on dying at 35. He was supposed to be at the Mavericks.

For the rest of my life. Playing basketball. Yeah, he didn't want to leave. He didn't. He loved the Mavericks. He thought he was going to die a Maverick. He was dirt 2.0 and they fucking traded him. They stabbed him in the goddamn back because, oh, he's gained a little weight, bitch. Suck my dick in balls.

He took off the- Is that what it was? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? That's their reason is like, the real reason is I don't think they wanted to sign him to the super max contract, which is if you stay with the team that drafted you, like the franchise

that drafted you for a certain amount of years, you're eligible for a super max. If you're good enough and he's a top three player in the fucking league. Um, Oh my God, it literally upsets me so bad, which means he would have been eligible next year for a $365 million contract, which is the biggest in NBA history and their quote unquote concerns were were that he his conditioning was like not up to par but I did find out that they Said he had a wrist injury to the public but in reality he had 11 days to lose weight and he didn't lose weight

So then they were like girl fuck you were trading you But he took him to the finals last year they were building an amazing fucking team they were going to go to the finals once he was healthy and they fucking traded him away he just bought a house in Dallas 12 days ago they really it really is a business and if Luca's not safe no one's fucking safe and free throw merchants Shay Gill just Alexander better watch the fuck out. That didn't sound like a real sentence. I'm a full time Spurs fan. Like to me that sounded like, so, yeah.

That sounded like emojis. Yeah, literally. I'm a full time Spurs fan now. I used to split my time between the Spurs and the Mavericks and I was really a Mavericks fan, like, cause I grew up with Dirk and all of my passwords to everything where Nowitzki45 loved Dirk. They were about to become DonShake77,

but they traded him away. And now really what I hope happens is a meteor strikes the arena and kills everybody inside because they backstabbed my friend, Luca. We're really close. You don't know him. Yes, we do. You don't know him. Yes, we do. You don't know him. You're always saying we have a game tonight. We have a game. He is never like

no. He is. He lives in LA now and he's fine shit. So you think you're gonna pull him? I could pull him. I really could. I think he's low-key gay as fuck. Not actually, but there is there's a bunch of gay NBA players. I mean, yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yes. I know of a few, and I've actually talked to one on FaceTime before. I scared the shit out of her walking by.

But no, I really have talked to a very, very, very, very, very, very, very famous, like one of the goats on FaceTime with my buddy Drew. It was two Drews on FaceTime and I have a screenshot of it because I was like so gagged by it because I was like, yeah, I guess I never realized what a big deal that was for you. But like basketball like sports to me. It genuinely doesn't exist.

That's something that doesn't exist until I see it. Like if no one ever mentioned a sport to me ever again, other than maybe like soccer because I see a ball I'm kicking it. It's called football. I see a ball on the floor and I'm kicking it. It's called football, babe Get into your media write the fuck now, I'm not done talking about Luca Is your heart beating? No, my stomach is um actually your heart is beating that was a trick question. Oh shit. This lighting looks awful. Yeah it's really really scary but Luca my glorious king I'm sorry they did you like that.

Just know that I'm here for you. I'm happy that you're in a large market team. Oh my God, I didn't even get into the worst part. His contract, $364 million. He got traded, he's not eligible for the super max anymore. Now the largest contract he can get is 229 million. So he lost a hundred million dollars on that trade, which is like, okay, he's still making two hundred twenty nine million dollars. It's not that big of a deal.

But if you, I guess if you've been anticipating it and like staying with the team, obviously because you like love the team, but also because you've dedicated your time there, you like want that. Exactly. Also, like, especially if somebody told me I was going to get that. Don't play with me. Like literally your stomach is about to fucking explode.

I know, it's twerking. You hungry? I am. I bet. Thank you. And he also has to pay 15% state income tax. Oh my god, I just feel so bad for him. And I hate the Mavericks. And I hope they all die. And I hope fucking Anthony Davis, who's made out of literally pulled pork because he fucking like,

breaks a ligament every two seconds. They're all geriatric. They're literally all oldest fuck. They're all the fucking bags. Fuck the Mavericks. They're all old. They'll say that about Frida Kahlo, bro. Wait, what?

You said Anthony Davis. Oh, eyebrow. Is he? Is he? You know. I literally, I only know who Anthony Davis is because of that screenshot from like, I think two people on Omegle or like

Twitch and this girl had a picture of Frida Kahlo in the back or like vice versa, but one of them was like, oh, that's Frida Kahlo or that's Anthony Davis I think the guy was like Anthony Davis is behind you and she was like what that's Frida Kahlo. One of the first gifts I've ever seen was Anthony Davis and his unibrow breaking off his head and turning into an eagle and flying away. Cause he did have- People made fun of it so bad. A unibrow is cunt.

It's chic. It's so chic. A unibrow is cunt. Also, he- Don't get it twisted. I love you, Frida. That's me to Anthony. Also, don't get it twisted. I love Anthony Davis and his run in college. He was probably the greatest college freshman of all time, but he is going to die. Dude, viewership has knocked off.

I know, I'll shut up. Like this is insane. I'll shut up, I'll shut up. But I do know- But see how nice I was guys. I'm a really nice friend. I just let that happen. That was for the three gay men that actually listened to basketball.

Not even straight. Yeah, they're all gay. Because there's, I don't know if straight men make it this far into an episode. Does that make sense? Like I feel like they kind of watch so that they can tell the pretty girl or guy they're talking to. I guess they wouldn't be straight. I can't really imagine. I just can't imagine a straight guy watching this. Like I really, I can't picture him just like, there are straight guys that watch it. What are you doing eating? Oh, well you couldn't imagine it.

One of the hosts is a straight guy, not guy. I'm not a host. Yeah. I was going to say, yeah. Can I step on your toes? Period. Yes. Wait, why am I so lightheaded? I think it's because I just talked for 40. I like stemmed out and mansplain for 14 minutes. I know literally I like really lost consciousness. Y'all people want to say I don't know ball.

Actually no one's ever said that. And the fact that I know a little bit of basketball blows everyone's fucking mind every single fucking time I talk about it. Because people are homophobic. I know literally. It's literally. The Tom trade homophobic. I know literally. Hello queen I'm trade oh boyfriend I'm nervous. What? Say hydrated. Hi. Hydrated. You all know that video? Yeah I don't. It's Addison saying um someone's like oh you're staying hydrated and she's like hi. He's like what? She's like hydrated. Literally one of the greatest videos of all time. That

can't be real. Boyfriend I'm nervous. What is that? Also Addison Rae. Are you kidding me? I didn't know that. One to ten how attractive am I? Boyfriend I'm nervous. Then she she's really my go. No I want to see the hydrated. No she is like top 10. Like she also I genuinely think the super max con driver. No she's she's going to go on a generational run this year unlike anything we've ever seen. When she drops her goddamn album it's going to change lives, specifically hers. She's going to be taken seriously more seriously as an artist. Like I really do think she's about to

like like really really tap in in a very big way because she's like a she's a student of fucking pop. Like she she also got that one fucking producer and writer that wrote all of Britney fucking Spears' hits to write on her shit so she automatically already has four fucking like smash hits on her album. Can I feature on a song piece? Yeah, Edison. Can we feature? Actually, I will literally just whistle. Actually, I'm supposed to be whistling on Clero's album. I'll clap on your album Don't I tell you about that? At her Clara wants me to with there's no way I'm sure she actually saw you singing her song and a check cuz I saw she blocked you

I saw she like you guys know actually if you go to wonder your post. Wait, who the fuck was that? Man Okay, well my media of the week is... Oh, Travis Scott? Honestly, just... Wait, what's the album by Steve Lacey? Gemini or Gemini Rites? Gemini's Rise.

I don't know what it is. La la la la la la la la la la la la la. Say hydrated. Hi. Hydrated. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la mom have such a similar like very specific to like southern women sweetness. Yeah. Like it's that same kind of like just kind of like huh what but is actually smart. Yeah she's so thick. She's about to change lives. I guess that's like my mom too. My mom's a little ditzy. I love my mom. I'm very bullish. I'm very bullish on Addison Rae. Boyfriend. Okay, my media of the week is Sunday Best by Bobby Gentry. Is that how you say that? I don't fucking know and honestly, Gemini Rites by Steve Lacey, I've been listening to that album again

and I actually can't believe that that album came out almost three years ago, because in my head that album still came out last year. Well my, no I won't, that's embarrassing. My media, you're gonna be pissed, but out out of touch Darryl Hall and John Oates. Oh Club Choppacana by Wham! That's one of mine. Club Choppacana. I was listening to something in the car that was so goated but I can't remember what it was. I listened to it over and over again. I can't remember but Drew Syop, lest we forget, tapeworms are nature's

ozempic. I mean yeah. I remember I met a kid in fifth grade who had a tapeworm and I was so fucking terrified. We like it was one of the friends whose house we went over to and I obviously didn't know how tapeworms worked but he like the mom was talking about it to my mom and I heard that and I was like holy shit and I became hyper fixated on tapeworms for the next like five months every time I got to a computer with Google working I would look up tapeworms and see what they look like and I would look in my poop because I thought that kid gave me a tapeworm. I used to want a tapeworm. Wait RFK literally does have tapeworms in it. I want RFK to fucking burn in a fire. The Sardukar chant from Dune,

the worms in his brain chanting for him to lower the cooked meat temperature, so tapeworms can form and annihilate the human race. Oh my god guys no no. Okay wait let me find my psyops real quick. I had a nightmare young ma was twerking. Is it gay for a man to wear a big t-shirt to bed with no draws on? Yes. I do not want your penis to peek out from under your fucking shirt. I know. Ew. My God, bro.

Like such an animatronic failure. Animatronic. Yes. Yes. Right. That's a universally bad look like a guy with a long shirt and no pants on that's a bad look no one's pulling that off except maybe Drew Drew could pull that off no he could not. I could easily. What? I literally could.

You would need the longest shirt in the world because your penis is so long. Oh yeah, I forget about that. You need a mumu. You wearing the mumu to Coachella. That is one of my favorite videos of you like, like dipping down with the purse. Dude, it's so gross

that is I know it's so crazy um let's read this one y'all need to start sending me more fucking PsyOps, like damn, like holy shit. I'm strong. He's mad at me for rushing him and he's putting the anger on y'all. Y'all really are our kids, bro. I'm so hitting y'all.

We also get like 300 a day. I know, he's like y'all need to like. Wait, in the which email? The official one. I don't ever, I don't have access to that email. They just sent them to my business email. No, dude, that email is ran through with them. I've literally never known that email is like completely overtaken by PsyOps.

But there's definitely some motherfucker out there who's like brother code is you send it to choose personal. Yeah, just leak that shit. Okay, whatever you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Suck my dick. Wait I thought Bye! I want you now I want you now I want you now I want you now I want you now

I want you now I want you now I want you now