Emergency Intercom - Arby's squirrel nuggets
Episode Date: May 9, 2025Drew teaches enya what Italian brain rot is, enya moved back to la and ky is an office bottom Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://RocketMoney.com/INTERCOM. Go to https://Zocdoc.com/INTERCO...M to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor. Start selling today and sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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And you moved to Miami for a week and then moved back.
Well I got kicked out of Miami because I went to Eleven and I took off all my clothes.
That was really weird. But I thought that was a vibe.
I haven't really partaken in club culture so I always assumed it was like kind of the thing
is you go and you get drunk and then you take all your clothes off and also the bathroom line was
really long and I did piss in the booth me and my friends got but again if I'm paying for a booth
why can't I piss in the booth? Why don't you just piss on the floor?
Piss on the floor?
What's up?
Like literally nothing.
Oh, Drew on the last episode made fun of me for making the kitchen dirty.
I came back and there was mold in the dishwasher and I'm going to insert the picture and I don't want to know his defense.
It's just crazy because like to get online and say that I'm dirty and then I leave the kitchen dirty. It was your dishes. I did all of your dishes. I
loaded it up and then I took those dishes out. Those were Josh's fucking
dishes. I put them in there. I started the dishwasher. The thing didn't open
because I didn't close it right or whatever you gave me the tutorial but I
did three loads of your dishes so
that's crazy because I didn't leave mold in my dishes so you you put you did
actually you did in the fucking sink when I was pouring out your six month
old coffee cups globs of gum oh my god okay also they're not that old hello
actually they are pretty old because like I feel like oat milk and almond milk
take longer to curdle over than regular milk. And it is really gross.
I don't know if anybody has experienced-
Borax free slime tutorial
and it's just literally leave almond milk in a mug
in your sink for two weeks.
That is so nasty, it is disgusting.
It is disgusting the texture it becomes also.
I don't know if anybody else has experienced this
because obviously growing up drinking expired milk classic drinking expired almond milk
like obviously nothing expired and curdled is good but expired almond milk literally tastes like
acetone like a tampon was resting in acetone but like a clean tampon like all the things that they
fear monger me about what's in the tampons and what's going in my bloodstream It literally feels like they put a cup of acetone with a bit of almond milk. That's what rotted almond bleach free tampons
There is no such thing as bleach free tampons. I actually don't know that I take that back
I think the ones you use that come in that like plastic
I think those say bleach free. Yeah, The ones I usually buy technically bleach free,
but like I just don't believe it.
Like I'm just like, how this tampon so clean though.
What are tampons?
It's literally like wadded up cotton, I'm pretty sure.
But I, listen, I'm not the right person.
I've never thought about what I'm putting in.
I just put it in.
I was told put it in and I'm like, okay, I'll put it in.
Like easy, there's a hole there for a reason.
Put it in, put it in, put it in.
You know a lot of girls growing up.
In.
It's Miss Rachel.
Oh, I've never seen Miss Rachel
because I don't have the kind of family
that watches what their kids have.
I have the kind of family that puts an iPad
in a kid's face and it's not YouTube kids.
And they just watch like people dying on Instagram.
Yeah, they just watch absolutely whatever comes up.
I saw recently this woman talking to her kid
and talking about how he was accidentally
on the regular YouTube app and not the YouTube kids app
and that greened me out because I don't think
any child in my family even knows
that there is a YouTube for kids.
They just know what YouTube looks like
because I feel like also most parents
don't even think about YouTube for kids.
What's on there?
I think my niece uses regular YouTube too
and I scrolled through her feed one time.
Mind you, she's starting pre-K this year.
And it was the most rotted shit I've ever seen.
Like ballerina, cappuccino or some shit like that.
It's like Italian brain rot.
Like it was fucking. Wait, I was at someone's like that. It's like Italian brain rot. Like it was fucking...
Wait, I was at someone's house and they had looked up Italian brain rot. It was on my friend's house.
They were looking up on TikTok Italian brain rot and that's never crossed my mind because I've
thought about the gay accent in different languages but I've never thought about brain rot in other
languages. Oh once like something goes international it becomes a thing that everybody can play with.
Like, Italian brain rot is here in America,
and I've been off social media for real for two months,
and I have no fucking idea.
For the first time in my life, I feel very unk coded
because I wasn't there for the conception
and the genesis of this brain rot.
And I know all brain rot.
I've literally invented brain rot.
It's literally just like AI generated photos of like
cappuccinos that are dancing like ballerinas
and like fucking like crocodiles
that are made out of watermelon and shit.
It's like called that crocodile watermelon millo or some shit like that. Like out of watermelon and shit. It's like called that Crocodillo Watermill-o
or some shit like that.
Like it's really fucking crazy.
I feel like we've talked about this before
because once we have also this raw is crazy.
But when we've talked about like skimity toilet
and how we think that is like the most undesirable
and like unfunny thing ever.
But half of the shit we were consuming as kids
was really unfunny and not that interesting.
Like it's that and then it's the name.
They're selling toys of it?
My mom.
Walmart is selling toys of them.
My mom knew about Italian Brain Rot before I did
and she was explaining it to me and she was like,
it's actually really cute.
Like the videos of the cappuccinos
Dancing are really cute and the song is really sweet and I like literally it does not
Resonate with me at all
And so, you know what I did is I called my like 12 year old nephew and I literally like sat on the phone with
him for an hour and I was like, what are the kids saying in class right now and
It's chicken jockey like that is like
Yeah, the Minecraft movie and then um they're saying Ballerina Cappuccino
they're still saying Huzz and Bruzz all that shit what were we saying like shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes like that vibe, like what was our vibe? It's like you have to get the like orange.
Mine was like poop and mine was, it was 21.
Like 21. Oh, 21.
The modern day version of that is like,
Chudai, but it's like.
Chudai?
Yeah, but it's like a gay porn Twitter thing.
Oh, okay.
And it's like, but it's all robots.
I learned so many things from my friends.
It's AI robots.
It's like accounts that like,
are crazy and they'll just say like,
chew die or something.
I don't know what the fucking word is.
I just never have seen it ever once in my life.
So it's like, I really don't understand it.
You're accidentally saying something crazy.
I think it's like water,
cause they always have the squirt emoji next to it.
Ew, ew, ew.
Using emojis in a real sexual tent,
like that you're chopped.
That's like, those are our Egyptian hieroglyphics
and for you to deface them in that way is really tough.
Drewmoji coming soon, guys.
Drewmoji is coming very soon.
Oh my god, just like at this point, I mean I have it,
so it's like I've been had it, I've had it for so long.
I still use it, but like we need an update,
we need an update, the people who have it,
we need an update.
I want one.
Well no, I turned off the beta, or the beta expired,
so like no one has it, you just have the ones that you used.
Used a lot yeah
but the app doesn't exist right now but um yeah i need to probably make more question mark but
Jinmoji came in and they really thought they were see that's the craziest thing hold on hold on
that's what i was gonna say they really they really thought they could dethrone the king like
they they saw drew moji like in the waves it was making in the media.
And the nine downloads.
Yeah, the nine downloads and they said,
oh, we gotta nip this in the bud real quick.
And instead of reaching out to buy.
That's what they did to Kim Kardashian as well.
Exactly, instead of reaching out to buy,
they thought they could dethrone the king
by releasing their Jin Moji, which is dog shit by the way.
Like real, real, real. I can't lie.
Never touched Jin Moji. I don't have it. I don't have it. Never updated to that. I'm like, real real never touched. I don't have it
I don't have it dated to that. It's dog shit. I haven't used it once like don't fucking
Thrones emoji. That's what I'm getting to and anyone sent me a gen moji one. I'm completely
Offended because
The way gen moji thinks I look versus what I think I look like, no.
I didn't need to know.
And that sends us Jen Moji versions of ourselves
and I'm like, oh wow, so I really am puggy.
I really am wide-faced.
I really do got that Lily Rose depth head,
that fucking Sabrina Carpenter head.
No shade.
Does Sabrina have a big head?
Oh.
She's got a big head?
No, it's all that hair.
It's all the hair, no shade. We both have big heads. Oh yeah, I know. You have a giant fucking, you had a big fucking head. Oh. She's got a big head. But like no shade. No, it's all that hair. It's all the hair, no shade.
We both have big heads.
Oh yeah, I know. You have a giant fucking,
you had a big fucking head.
Okay, no, I asked them recently if I had a big head
and they said no.
Who said that?
Who said that?
No, I think I technically do have a big head.
Like, yeah.
No, we have big heads and we ride for the big head community.
Yeah, I like, I feel like usually people I gravitate towards have like heavier heads
But it's not like it does not I mean especially in your case
It does not indicate knowledge or like wisdom my case it does but in your specific case
It's not because we're like but knowledge and wisdom can land on so many spectrums
It can land on the knowledge and wisdom of like life and
how to navigate the world, but it can also land in just like, you know how to suck a mean dick.
Why was my head going straight to sex too? Cause I was going to say the same fucking thing, bro.
If you're good as fuck at sex, you need to go to jail.
No, that's really fucking freaky and creepy. Like somebody, if I'm hooking up with somebody
who multiple people have hooked up with and all of them have good reviews,
that grains me out because I think like,
call me old fashioned.
I genuinely think that like,
I feel like all sex you have should be good if you're lucky,
but to find someone you have great sexual chemistry with
is like, oh my God, like I can't believe
this is what all of us is about.
I think sex should be mid the first couple of times. Oh, 100%. That's my hot take. that you have sexual chemistry with is like, oh my God, like I can't believe this is what all the fuss is about.
I think sex should be mid the first couple times.
Oh, 100%.
That's my hot take.
It has to be mid because it's like, what?
I don't know.
You don't know me.
If someone is good at sex right off bat,
like really you're a fucking freak.
You're the killer.
You need to be locked up in jail immediately.
You're literally the killer.
What do you mean you know all the buttons?
You haven't been in this car, bitch.
Like why do you know what to do?
And it's because you're a slut.
Someone cooked here
someone cooked here I don't even think that someone cooked here makes sense anymore because we all have iPhones and we all see so much shit so
the someone cooked like really you really can't even know if a bitch was
there before like so it's like someone cooked here and it's like a straight man
that's like washing their ass crack remember when that was like a real thing online when like like
It like everyone washes their ass crack now
But like probably like six or seven years ago
It was first starting to bubble up and like it was like a real thing that men weren't washing their ass crack
It's still kind of like a conversation in terms of like they're still like
But the thing is to even say
it's like an overtly straight dude thing sounds crazy,
but it really is because there are some people who are like,
oh, it's gay to go between my butt cheeks.
They're literally yours for a reason.
You can go in there.
You can go in there.
You legally have the right to go right up your own butt.
Like that's the only butt you can get between,
like with no questions asked,
and how are you not getting between your own cheeks?
Like also out of pure curiosity,
how are some of y'all not looking at your genitals,
looking at your butt?
Like do y'all have no, like there's nothing out of curiosity.
And what's fucking crazy is like,
they don't have people in their life.
Like I'm in your life and I look at your like
discharge panties and I'm looking at the coloration.
Yes.
Before we go to bed, well, sometimes I get caught up
because sometimes it's like, wow, the discharge is like,
it's kind of like.
Oh wait, I found out about.
It's like a yogurt land situation.
Oh, it's really fucking creepy sometimes.
It's like brat.
Yeah. It's brat in those underwears. Yeah, my brat really fucking creepy. Yeah, it's like brat. Yeah
Yeah, but the new age brat. Yeah, the new discharge brat
Yeah
But we took that joke from Orion. Yeah, that was Orion's joke, but
Fuck oh, I found out about period panties today because I saw a video or or a couple days ago, I saw this video of this guy thinking
he was being cute and funny and had this girl's panties
and put them on his head.
And there was just a giant brown stain on the vagina area.
And she was like, oh my stain, my stain, my stain.
And I went to the comments and I was like,
oh she's about to get ripped to shreds.
And all of the comments were from girls being like,
he had no idea that those were her period panties.
Like da da da da da da da da da.
Yeah, you always, I feel like that usually becomes
an accident, but you always have the panties
that are like, I seriously, you wanna guess
the color of my underwear?
Stain. It's brown.
Like literally the period underwear is like,
the underwear that one day you just accidentally
laugh too hard and like, you literally just shoot out
some extra lining and that becomes your pair. I don't want to throw them away because
like a stain never hurt anybody I will say though I never bothered me
anyway I'm just like not the kind of person to throw away underwear for a
stain like I don't like I have I kind of have like you have skid mark underwear
you got duty marks and all of your white underwear. Well, no, no, no. If it comes from the butt, the stain must flow.
No, no.
No.
You're backtracking.
Oh, but yeah, to clarify, every day at the end of the night,
I take off my underwear and I leave it by Drew's bed
and by the morning he's done like-
I'm like a dog.
I don't get to stand around while he examines up.
You really do just sleep in my bed now.
I know, it's bad.
I sleep in Drew's bed every night.
We really have, I think, since living in the new house have slept in my bed more than you've slept in your bed.
Your bed is just so comfy.
It's literally a movie.
I love your bed.
It's so good.
Also like it's really bad because I like, I just, I try to, I like to switch my sheets often. And I just came back from Miami.
And because I've been like going back and forth
between like here and Miami more often this year,
I haven't been changing my sheets because I get back
and I'm like, why would I change my sheets?
There's a clean bed downstairs with my man in it
waiting to keep me warm.
So I'd rather do that.
I keep you warm.
But yeah, no, I need to start sleeping alone
because I've been realizing I haven't spent any time alone
in kind of a long time.
Like I haven't been like fully alone.
Like I had two days this year
where I purposefully isolated myself,
but I am constantly around people all the time.
And that's because I'm so derealized.
I need to be distracted. Cause if I'm left alone, I have to that's because I'm so derealized I need to be distracted because if I'm
left alone I have to remind myself that I'm alive but not in like a soul trapped in my mind kind of
way but like remembering that I have blood flowing through my veins like when I'm driving sometimes
I can feel my blood I don't like I don't feel anything in my body and I'm like there's no way
there's stuff in this body there's no way there's stuff in this body. There's no way there's things up here. I think while driving that is a natural,
like, cause we, like, the act of driving is so unnatural
that we probably experience like a trauma response
every single time we drive
because our brains are not wired to drive.
Well that's also the only time I'm usually alone.
Yeah.
But also sometimes when I, no, no,
I'm not gonna go down there
cause I'm gonna start scaring myself.
Have you heard of the ugly for ugly trend?
You for you?
Uh, no, actually it's you for you.
No, that's funny because I-
It's actually them for them.
The audience.
Me when I started non-binary dating app.
Them for them.
But ugly for ugly has been this trend happening on Grindr where people will make, like, you know,
mask for mask. Yeah. It's just like, girl just like girl like get a grip it's ugly for ugly and like people will
message and like interact with people and that are mask for mask or just in
general ones they'll read their bio and it's like ugly for ugly and these people
will respond back and be like girl I'm not fucking ugly and it's just basically
calling you this person ugly,
or this person ugly.
Hey, I feel like we would get along
because we're both ugly.
Yeah, we should hook up ugly for ugly.
No one is ugly.
Top 10 biggest lies I've ever said.
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Well, I found, oh, fuck, damn, I have a lot of notes.
Okay, the first thing I wanna say is
I wanna admit something that I've never said on camera,
but I've only thought about this
because I have siblings who are a bit younger than me
and they're finally getting into the real throws
of a relationship, let alone as,
because of my upbringing, I do think,
and I think you two were anxiously attached people,
so the idea-
Me and O'Brien were literally,
because O'Brien spent the night last night
and we were talking about like attachment styles last night.
Yeah.
Also girl, you freaked the fuck out last night by the way.
Inya fell asleep in 0.5 seconds
and me and Orion were being loud as fuck.
All of the lights were on and like Inya fell asleep.
Like girl, I was like, damn, she like nodded off.
Like she was on a fucking perk.
It's because y'all were drinking last night and I was like, damn, she like nodded off like she was on a fucking perk. It's because y'all were drinking last night
and I was like, yes, I'm one of the girls too, I'll drink.
And I had some of a white claw
and because of my fucking Prozac, it literally like,
when y'all came back in,
because I overheard y'all saying something and I woke up,
I was, I swear to God, I was dead asleep.
Oh my God, yeah, right.
No, I swear, I swear on my mother's urn,
I swear on my grandpa's death.
I swear on my grandma's.
And you're fake asleep and then she heard
the conversation we were talking about
and she shot right up and she was like,
wait, who's getting a boob job?
No, I was really nodding off.
No, she was asleep.
Like it's actually bad.
That's why I was like, can we move down to your room?
Because when we were in my bed and I laid down,
especially after eating, like I was like,
oh yeah, I'm gonna pass away.
And then we went downstairs and I knocked out,
but I don't remember after that.
Like I-
But she was like falling asleep and me and Orion
were literally just talking loud as fuck.
I found a therapist, by the way guys,
really exciting moment.
We'll see if it works.
I have a consultation for free to see if we're a good fit.
But-
I haven't spoken to my therapist in a few months
and she texted me and was like, is everything okay?
Yeah, and then, um,
and you're just laying there and me and Orion are talking
and she goes, and then the fucking like jerks,
hard as fuck, and literally hits Orion in the face.
Wait, I actually hit her?
You literally hit her.
I thought that she was saying that.
I thought she was joking,
cause I was like, what are you talking about?
No, you literally like went, and like hit her in the fucking feet. Oh no thought that she was saying that. I thought she was joking, because I was like, what are you talking about? No, you literally like went and like hit her
in the fucking seat. Oh no, I didn't know that.
When she said that this morning, I was like,
what are you talking about?
I thought y'all were trolling me,
but I don't remember. No, and you got so mad
when we told you, we were like, yeah,
and you're like, damn, and you're chill, you freaked out.
You just hit Orion.
And then you were like, shut up.
Like, no, I didn't.
Like, no, no.
And then like literally in five seconds,
you were asleep again. You know what I did the other day too I slept
over at a friend's house and I woke up and the first thing I said was she was
like dude you were talking in your sleep and I remember interacting with her that
morning and I woke up and she said the first thing I said is like the kitten
the shell kitten he also the most popular right now and like that's what I
said and then she was like, what?
And I was like, can you shut up?
I'm talking in my sleep.
You know I'm talking in my sleep.
Stop talking back to me.
And then she said she kept talking to me
because she was like, wait, is she trolling me?
She couldn't tell because it was also in the morning.
It was like 9 a.m.
Girl, it was 2 p.m.
No, when I'm in Miami, I do know.
I unironically sleep so long there and it didn't that day.
I think that day I did sleep until two because I woke up and we talked about me sleep talking
and then I knocked back out, which I guess is like a reoccurring thing for me.
But I was like, I was so mean.
There's that I was like, can you shut the fuck up?
Like, you know, I'm fucking sleep talking like fuck.
Like, and I was like doing that and I like turned back over and then I was like, no,
but this shell, you know, the shells, the kids' shells.
And then I just knocked back out.
And then when I woke up, she was like,
what are you talking about?
I was like, I don't know, I didn't have a dream.
The Chanel kitten heels.
Yeah, I didn't have a dream with heels in it.
I guess I just woke up and that's what,
I think I was having a dream about trends.
I think in my dream, I had seen somebody predicting trends
and somebody predicted that like,
shells would be a trend in kitten heels and I was like shells. Well because you don't know this
Because you're not a gear um, but last year there was like that viral skirt that had shells all over and girls really wanted it
It was super expensive. So a bunch of people started diy-ing it
but it was a skirt just covered in shells that made the most noise ever,
and it was like, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrr, krrr, krrr, kr and interacted my sleep. No, you sleep hit. Okay. But I did roll over and grab Orion
and then realized I grabbed Orion and like went,
oh my God, and then I rolled back and turned around.
I have a big bed now.
My favorite sleeping story is when I turned over
and like hugged Orion and held her for a second
and then I opened my eyes and I like realized it was her.
And she said, I opened my eyes and went. And it was her and she said I opened my eyes and went
And then just like turns back over and like went to sleep. It's so real
Okay. Well a power outage I decided like I've like
Like a power outage caused by a storm
Specifically is like the greatest feeling in the world. And I've only had positive experiences with that, except once when I was like four.
When I was like young, I had really, really bad asthma.
I don't know if I told you that,
but like I literally like,
there were several times where I like almost died.
I like grew out of it, but we were in a power outage.
And like, it was so cute.
Like my mom and me and Madeline and all my siblings
like gathered in the living room
and we lit all of the candles in
the house and it was so pretty and like
Jared and Sam and Jodie were doing like homework by the fireplace and like me and Madeline were chilling and then I just started having like
the gnarliest panic attack like I was probably like four and I like vividly remember like
like I could not breathe and I had a nebulizer and.
Nebulizer.
Yeah, it's like this thing that you put on your face
and it pumps albuterol and whatever else
steam in your fucking lungs.
And we started using it.
Oh my God, my parents would use that shit on me,
not exactly that, but the Vicks version
or machines like that when I was congested and I
want one of those again so bad but my sibling or my little sister Sophia needed that a lot growing
up because she had um she had to get her tonsils removed she had like a lot of congestion and
tonsil issues so she was always like choking on her mucus and shit so they would have to put her
in that little mask and I was so jealous, because they put that little medicine, the little like clear thing in it, like the drops.
Maybe it is the same thing,
because I never got to use it.
I only got to use it if I was really sick.
But my sister got to use it all the time
and I was so jealous,
because it felt like an alien contraption.
Like from the movie, I was like, I'm sick.
It literally is.
But it was battery powered and we ran out of batteries
and you're supposed to be able to plug it into a wall.
So I remember sitting in candlelight power outage,
literally not being able to breathe
and begging my mom for my nebulizer.
Like, I want my nebulizer.
Like, I need my nebulizer, I need it, I need it.
And I'm like, literally choking out.
And she did not know what to fucking do and eventually like the spasm passed
or whatever the fuck, my airways like cleared up
or some shit, but like I literally thought I was gonna die.
I think the closest I've gotten to that feeling
is maybe like in a steam room, in a steam room
with too much steam in it and I go in there
and then for like, I try to be cool
cause I can't fuck with a steam room, I try to be chill and I go in there and then for like, I try to be cool, cause I can't fuck with a steam room.
I try to be chilled and like, oh, steam room, so sexy.
But without fail, every time I enter a steam room,
I like, by reaction, for some,
I wanna like suck in all the air
to get my body acclimated to it.
And then I feel like I start choking on the steam.
And then I try to act chill,
cause usually when you enter a steam room,
especially at like a gym or something, there's people in there. So I'll then I try to act chill because usually when you enter a steam room especially at like a gym or something there's people in there so I'll
go in trying to act chill and I'll go and sit down and like hold myself and try
to like regulate my breathing but then I am convincing myself that I'm gonna
throw up and like knock out because it's too much steam and then I run out.
I really like you can't go to a steam room in LA as a man. So much sperm.
Sperm spunk mold and cruising bulls.
It's super cruisy.
Well, I found something we need to go to
and it's a musical, but it's furries.
And it's like-
That sounds fucking lit.
They're in furry costumes.
Ah.
["Furries"] Like they're in furry costumes. Ah. Oh my God. Like they're in there.
Oh, we need to go to this.
No, see, I love furries.
I'm not even kidding.
Spain.
Spain's got talent.
Why can't they do America's Got Talent?
Does America not fuck with furries?
Sydney Sweeney farted at the Met Gala.
No, she didn't.
Did she really?
I don't know.
Is that like a rumor we're trying to start?
I think so.
Sydney had bubbly guts at the Met Gala.
Yeah, Sydney Sweeney farted at the Met Gala.
Sydney was experiencing what Kai experienced
at Coachella at the Met Gala. Sydney was experiencing what Kai experienced at Coachella at the Met Gala.
Well, the thing I was going to admit earlier, which I never got around to is
I, although many years in therapy and working on myself, guys, sometimes I still fall too.
When my first boyfriend, Roy,
when Roy, I, Roy.
Names Roy, Roy.
But actually I'll just say, no, it's a really bad thing.
And like me and him have talked about it,
so I think it's fine.
Also like I'm friends with the guy.
It's all chill.
We live our lives.
Everything is amazing.
We got very lucky in that sense.
But when he first broke up with me,
I threw myself on the floor,
had a panic attack and said that it hurt more than when my mom died.
They got you to girl.
So damn, I forgot that lasted for about 10 minutes.
I was having a panic attack.
I was like, I'm going back to Miami,
going back to Miami.
You're breaking my heart.
You're destroying me.
I wanna kill myself.
And then about 10 minutes passed and I did stand up
and I was like, I'm not going to Miami.
I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go home.
And then I profusely apologize
because that is a crazy thing.
I can't believe you had to drive home after that.
I almost crashed the car.
Yeah.
But then we got back together.
It's like classic, classic breakup shit.
But then we really broke up and then, yeah,
I just wanted to let that out there because all of my
siblings have been going through it with relationships
and like calling me and talking to me about it.
And then going on a tangent about how they feel crazy
because they are crazy.
I know what I'm finding out is literally everyone is bat shit crazy.
Yeah, like everyone people hide it.
People hide it better than other people.
But everyone deep fucking down is a jealous, insecure, crazy person, myself included.
Don't get it twisted.
Like literally everyone is bat shit fucking crazy.
And maybe maybe that's just the normal.
is bad shit fucking crazy and maybe maybe that's just the normal and we've been programmed to think by the patriarchy that being crazy is like a
bad thing but it's not really me trying to convince myself it's okay that I
threw myself on the floor when my mom died drew crashing out like the thing is
I don't know how I was just not as fun because like.
Because you hate me.
No, because a man.
And you switched up on me by the way,
we're not friends right now.
A man, sadness and anger, I love you so much.
But also, you know what it is, it goes back and forth
because when I'm having anxious freak outs over shit
that you can see clearly that I'm just making things up.
I'm always there for you.
I have never once not been there for you.
He makes fun of me.
Don't I don't know what this all is.
I don't know what's all this then.
Because literally.
What's all this?
I don't make fun of you.
I don't know what's all this then.
Literally like we need it.
Like I think that's like the way we all ground each other
is literally like when one of us is freaking out over something
and the other person can clearly see
that they are going down the wrong path.
You have to laugh.
Because if you don't, like, bruh, if half of the shit you were anxious about, if I stood
in Drew's face and I was like, girl, yeah, I'm scared too, like, it would be a wrap.
I would fucking kill myself.
Girl, that's the realest thing I've ever heard.
How did you even think of that?
Like I even like, oh my God, how did you know that? Like, what is that?
I went on this like insane like doom spiral the other day
about like,
blue chew and hymns.
And that's what I say every single time is I'm like,
and like the craziest thing is it's real.
Like it's fucking real.
Like I can tell it's real this time.
And then if you like battle it a little bit,
you kind of go, well, everything I say usually happens.
So whatever.
It's never happened once.
It's almost like a threat of like you're either on the right side
or you'll find out you're wrong later.
You're either right or you're the off.
Like you either stand with me or against me.
But I mean, that's dude, in a moment of true,
like now it feels more rare,
but we've known each other long enough
that you were there when I was younger
and like my anger, like my anger valve was so easy
and you just need somebody around
who's like not scared to be like girl, you're dumb.
Which is, I think that almost kind of also
is why friends butt heads a lot or a lot of
friend groups have all these, there's like this whole idea of you see a friend group being like,
oh my God, I wish I had that. But what you don't take into account is all friend groups.
They really are like families and relationships. You are going to butt heads. You are going to like
have to hear things you don't want to hear, but that's what makes friends valuable is you need
somebody to look in your face and be like, girl girl the person you have a crush on didn't just fly to the
Russian bathhouse in New York they're here and they like you. Did you see Ian's video about the
Russian bathhouse? Oh I did I did I did I did. I fucking hate him. Wait, while you find out, let me go to the restroom. Hi, hi.
How was your time at the Russian Turkish bath house?
It was fun, it was like really chill vibes.
It was awesome.
He's so fucking funny, dude.
Not much, I kind of just like relaxed
and it was a great time in there.
Shhh.
Holding his soggy bottom.
Kai being a, wait Kai's office bottom.
Office bottom.
Soggy bottom.
He's in New York right now,
so we should check his location
to see if he's at the bath house.
Yeah, he might be at the bath house.
I love bath houses though.
I really wanna go, so bad.
Is it for real like a cruising destination?
That's what I was asking when I went to my day friend.
Cause I have so many homies out there.
I don't think it really is.
Like I think it's like,
I think it's become that like online, but in real life,
I'm like, I can't imagine like a bath house
being that publicly known and gay men
still wanting to like go hook up there
because the whole point of like bath houses
and cruising culture is that it's secret and it's taboo
and it's a fun thing that gay men know about
and only we know about, but I don't know.
I don't think it actually is.
I mean, it kind of goes back to that thing,
remember when I was saying how I hate
that the internet has given men a scope
into women's culture and ideology
because it just makes them smarter
at navigating around women.
That's how I feel about the idea of like straight dudes finding out about cruising and like making jokes. Straight people
making jokes about it. But cruising is literally like also I just love the word cruising. Like
such a good word. We're going cruising. Is it because it's like a chill passage with nothing
but pleasure and joy? Yes. You know how, okay, this might get annoying,
but I'm sure there are some people out there like,
I'm doing good, blah, blah, blah, blah,
like I'm sure there's some bitches out there
who got diagnosed with OCD later in their life like I did,
but it is really funny because it makes me like,
think about all the things that I'm like randomly scared of
or sure of and like the things that I think about all
the time.
I remember so vividly when I was like six or seven on the news on seven news in Miami,
they started talking about how a restaurant had gotten in trouble because they put hidden
cameras in the bathroom.
From that moment on, I have never walked into a bathroom without thinking that I am being
watched somehow when I pop a toilet
The toilets have the the automatic toilets with the red light. Those are all cameras
I think those are cameras and also not only that though, like even if it's a random establishment
I think part of the reason I'm so obsessed with bathrooms because if you know me, I love bathrooms
I will go I don't just go to the bathroom to use the bathroom. I go into a bathroom and I like I
Look around I take in the scenery I don't just go to the bathroom to use the bathroom. I go into a bathroom and I like, I look around,
I take in the scenery.
I scope out the scenery.
Like bathrooms are very important to me.
But without fail, I always think there's a camera in there
and I have the crazy person thought where like,
if I have a freshly shaved butt and I'm like,
cause I don't sit on toilets
unless I have the time to put paper out.
So I usually do my squatting.
There have literally been times
where I have a fresh shaved butt hole
and I think to myself, I'm like,
honestly, respect.
I guess whoever gets to see today
literally gets a beautiful shot.
And oh my God, I need to tell you about this.
When I was in-
Your whispering eye.
Yeah, I get really scared.
I'm genuinely convinced that there's 18 videos out there of me in the bathroom
Because like I probably are I think people put cameras
But but that was just to point out that like genuinely since that I have never not thought about that because I'm like, wow
There are always cameras in the bathroom
They're right. The cameras are in the bathrooms. The cameras are in the walls. The cameras are in your teeth
Actually, so pull your teeth out. You should um, oh it's like what Shane Dawson
Getting on to needs to propose
The whole camera thing remember when he was like the lidar the what is it the
Infrared map that scans your face, which I guess I kind of do believe but also like I just believe everything
Thank God
I'm not like 70 or something or like even in my 50s with an iPhone because I understand how crazy people happen
Things on my phone and whether I believe it or not like it goes in there and it stays in there and then without
Without realization And whether I believe it or not, it goes in there and it stays in there and then without realization,
it's in there. Like it's just in there and I'm like,
what if they are right?
And yeah, I've been seeing people that I'm friends with
from the age of 20 up until 32,
which I thought was a safe age range to not fall for this.
I've been seeing people fall for like AI like crazy on Instagram.
No, it's getting scary.
Like there was one of this like white lotus praying mantis that randomly so many people sent to me,
which is like crazy.
Hey guys, we wanted to take a quick break
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Okay, so Arby's, the food establishment, released nuggets.
No.
They released nuggets.
I really wanna try them.
I didn't know they carried chicken.
No, no, no, like beef nuggets.
Beef nuggets?
That's fucking nasty.
And they're like,
Are they fried?
They're like red.
No, they're not fried.
Can I see?
Well, the thing is.
You want them.
I want them badly, but where are all the squirrels?
Have you been seeing squirrels around?
Literally last episode you saw a squirrel in the tree.
Randa!
Girl! Girl, damn. I have ADHD as fuck. I just like it.
Shiny.
Light.
Shiny.
No that's squirrel meat.
No those are deer ankles.
Those are Achilles' tendons.
Those are the fucking lips of a cuda bronson
that fell off in the summer heat through a sundress,
splatted on the ground, picked up off the fucking ground.
Are those not beef curtains?
Those are labias.
Okay, chill with the beef,
because I got some beef too.
I know, that's why I'm saying that.
Yeah, I have like-
Deer ankles.
I have like my tips dyed for sure.
That's disgusting.
It's ombre.
Yeah, this on the window is crazy.
I know, they look like raw testicles.
It looks like shit.
It literally looks like dirt.
Why are they black?
They're charred. It's because it's to incite the Arby's customer
who goes to Arby's for that smoky flavor.
I don't like smoky flavors in food
unless it's like for barbecue food only.
Like I don't make my meat smoky
unless I am partaking in a barbecue-esque feast.
I don't want my beef to literally taste
like it smoked a cigarette before it got in my mouth.
Like that is nasty.
Literally.
Somebody out there is gonna be like,
smoky meat is the best.
You keep your smoky meat to your fucking self.
I got enough smoky meat around here
because Drew doesn't wash his wiener.
Something I've been thinking a lot about recently.
I don't care.
Oh yeah.
I can't see up my skirt.
I hope you can't see my balls falling out of my shorts.
I really wanna get on testosterone.
I really, if anybody has like a legal testosterone
that they can give me like the gel or something
like I really wanna get big.
My fitness journey is crazy fucking right now y'all.
Oh, I didn't tell you this.
I'll tell you this later.
Girl, what the fuck am I talking about?
I don't know.
I thought you were gonna like go in about your health and wellness.
Oh, you know what's crazy is,
there's this, like you know like, oh, like she's serving.
Like, and you know how like Twitter like finds a way
to like abstract everything into like the most like,
hilarious thought you've ever heard.
Are you gonna talk about this turn 19?
Yes, turning 19 in Poland is literally like,
legitimately like one of the funniest things
I've ever heard. Yeah, it's crazy.
Like whoever conceptualized that in their fucking brain
is literally a genius.
Like, oh, Inna's turning 19 in Poland.
It's actually crazy too, because how does that
just translate, like it really does.
I guess one person explains it and then it goes on forever
because there's definitely people who say
that someone turned 19 in Poland and they're just saying it.
But it's kind of like the-
Read the nachos.
It's kind of like the stunts in new selfie.
Like I think a lot of people don't know
that like the stunts in new selfie like I think a lot of people don't know that like the stunts in new selfie
Is from pop craze. Yeah pop craze talking about what's or not Donatella Versace
Or I don't know but it's like they were like Donatella Versace stunts or Madonna stunts in new selfie
That fucking American life song me and Josh listened to it on the way home from karaoke
last night.
Legitimately the worst song I've ever heard.
It is so bad.
It literally sounds like a throwaway beat like the beat to that song.
Literally it's Thomas Jefferson type beat.
It's horrible. It's like a fake type beat. It's horrible.
It's like a fake pop craze at it. Madonna stuns a new selfie.
Yeah, Modern Life by, or American Life by Madonna is
change my name, will it get me far?
Go to the latte part.
Should I lose some weight?
I gonna be a star. I am NOT a Christian
Dude she was on it. It was also 2009. I can't even get on her though because like I
Get a double shot date it goes right through my body and you know, I'm satisfied
I draw my mini Cooper and I'm feeling super duper yo,
turning them trooper and you know I'm satisfied.
I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties
and I'm checking out their bodies
and you know I'm satisfied.
What are you talking about?
That was AI generated lyrics before AI existed.
Before it was even a thing Madonna was the first person
to access the part of her form that could access AI.
She has access to quantum computing.
I feel like that's a kind of, oh no.
I was gonna say it's the kind of song I would write but.
I saw someone talking about this
and this is like the realest thing ever
and they added a couple things to it.
But before you try to come from me,
before you tried to read me,
make sure you have a hairline,
make sure both of your parents are alive.
What else did I say?
So I'm out.
No, no, man, that's all I have.
Make sure your parents are alive
and make sure your hairline is in check.
Why the parents alive? Because I will go there. No, no, no. That's all I have. Make sure your parents are alive and make sure your hairline is in check. Why the parents alive? Because you will go there.
No, no, no, I will go there.
I will I will read you back to Filth and I will be like, where are your fucking parents?
I do miss the the like quick nature of my brain.
From like 17 to 21, because I was like you were so quick. I was like, so 21 because I was like such. You were so quick at the mouth.
I was like so, yeah, I was, you couldn't make me shut up
and no one could tell me not to say shit,
which I'm grateful for now, but damn,
I was just so quick with literally destroying people,
which is honestly a superpower that I think every person
who grows up in Miami gets.
I'm so jealous of people that can like.
Be quick.
Roast or whatever.
Yeah.
I think it really is just growing up in Miami, you-
You have to.
You must.
You learn or die.
You must have a comeback.
You must, you must speak immediately!
Wait, what's your like-
Don't let time pass!
What's your read on me right now, my physical appearance, but don't like not my legs
Why not your legs because it's an easy. No, I don't have anything to say about you. You look good. I
Genuinely think you look good. I don't know what I would say if I had to say something it would be like to your core
Don't go there. Should I go into your core? I'll go to my core. Let's get in your core. No, don't go there
but I have abs now I I went to your core. Don't go to my core. Let's get in your core. No, don't go there.
I have abs now. I literally have abs now.
It's crazy, y'all.
I've never had abs in my life.
I've been like fucking eating 150 grams of protein a day.
Me rolling my eyes,
because like abs are so easy.
Like abs, yeah, I have abs.
No, I don't. I't have that you literally do have abs
I do like the thing is I want to get really strong because I want my arms to be really strong
But I don't want them to be like strong without me flexing them the picture of me on the podcast with my body tea
Are you asking me if you should body check? Yeah, should I body check? Yeah, do a quick body check.
Yeah, I'll do a quick body check.
It's deserved, it's deserved.
No, but notice how I got shirtless in karaoke last night.
I know, that was insane.
Well, no, the thing was is it was because
the vibe in there was fucking insane.
It was like, I don't remember what song was playing,
but it was a weird fucking song.
You were rolling a joint, which I've never seen you
roll a joint in my goddamn life.
And then people were dissociated and freaking out.
And then I was like-
Well, it's also because most of our friends at this point
are straight edge, essentially, but maybe not by choice.
All of us were like, my medication, I have a schedule,
I have this, so we can't get fucked up the way we used to.
So now it really is just a room full of people like.
Sober minds.
Yeah, just like.
Sober minds doing karaoke.
I had the best time of my life though.
No, but I turned that bitch up last night.
Yeah, yeah, me too, me too, I was there too.
Yeah, like I had that bitch turn,
you missed Icona Pop, Charlie XCX.
No, I was there.
No, no, no, sorry, my opening Judas. By opening, oh, I was there. Oh, no. No, sorry my opening Judas
By opening I missed the opening song. Yeah, I hope fitting number Judas
I know that's the annoying thing about us going to karaoke is literally all of our friends are like, uh-huh. You miss this
It's real like I take it very serious
I was like in the car with Josh like scrolling through like Spotify where I was like, okay
What's my three set track list
gonna be?
Okay, I'm gonna open with Judas,
and then I'm gonna do I Love It, Iconopop.
I was trying to do Paper Gangster by Lady Gaga,
but of course they wouldn't fucking have that song.
No, paper gang, no.
To sign away my life to.
That's my favorite Gaga song right now.
And then you put on Abracadabra for me and Josiah,
and that shut that fucking bitch down.
I really like, the thing is I will say
not to like pat myself on the back,
but I did come in there and I like added a vibe
and an aura that was genuinely necessary.
Green aura with flies, bitch, you fucking stink like shit.
You pulled up stinky.
No, I literally showed up late as fuck,
smelling like weed and then pulled a bunch of weed
out of my bag and started rolling up.
You had like a Cardi B grinder for some reason.
For some reason.
Okay next, any other questions?
I bought it in Miami because when I went to Miami
I lost all my weed and then my friend had to give me weed
and then I had to go back to rolling.
Rolling loud.
I literally think like from a very young age,
like it's awesome that we were all taught
don't be a tattletale.
Like that's the realest shit.
Like everyone collectively was like taught
mind your own fucking business from a very young age.
And it's like, I honestly respect the shit out of that
Like don't be a tattletale if you're a tattletale in adulthood, bitch
I will kill you with a fucking gun like get out of my fucking face
Like if like oh my god, if someone catches me in a lie, literally just let me embarrass myself
Don't call me out. Like you know what?
I think it does depend on the lie too because I can't stand say on a bitch, you just will like bud in to be the person
who's like right or something,
unless it's like, I will say you do share information
sometimes where I'm like, that is like,
you are a misinformation spreader.
I love spreading misinformation.
Yeah, there are definitely some worlds
where I'm like, somebody does.
Go watch like the first 25 episodes of the podcast.
All I said on that fucking podcast was from the genesis that I was here to spread misinformation
Like that's a literally all I am is a misinformation machine, and I'm sorry
We're just um we're like the messengers like that's what it feels like is we're the messengers
And we're just like it's a game of telephone
That's gone really bad because we're too stupid to like actually like because I will learn things and I can hold the information
But I will embellish the information with my own thoughts.
Like I'm really gonna-
Like any facts told to me, I will regurgitate,
but I'll just like-
Also if something-
I'll like fluff it up.
Jish it up, yeah, no, it's a punch up.
Like-
You gotta like, you have to like reel the people in
with that information, you know?
For example, like if I spend a certain amount of money at someone's birthday party for their birthday party, like and it's like, oh, like I spent like two hundred dollars.
I for real spent two hundred dollars, which I'm telling everybody I spent five hundred dollars.
Drew does do that. You do do that.
He'll be like, it's not like, oh, my God, this thing.
I just spent like ten thousand dollars and it was like a hundred dollars
like like it drives me fucking insane i hate spending money i hate spending
money well i um i wouldn't do that i don't
lie about those kind of things no no no see what
it gets lost in translation no no no no no no you're weird it's so
weird i'm not a liar I just am an exaggerator
and I'm 95% of the time in character.
I'm doing a bit and I think it's kinda got lost
in translation over the past few years
where people think that I'm just lying,
but no, specifically to you, you think I'm lying.
Oh yeah, we just lie, but we lie to each other all the time.
But it's like, we both know it's a lie. It's not like a lot
It's like getting a bit better at like delivery. So I know I'm like an actor boots. Like I really give actor
Really give actor. I mean, no you do you do. Yeah, and that's why we are gonna be in dough. Now you see me, too
That is like actually fucking disgusting like it's
disgusting and especially with the fucking sounds it is so fucking gross like it is so nasty why
claiming it for my girls why the fuck wait no i want to know why like what the origin of this and why everybody has like a physical reaction
okay every time I do it everyone male woman female whatever sounds are
fucking insane because like you don't like you don't swallow you like dude
don't do that don't do that I'm like what I guess it is the
stop it is the closest, stop!
It is the closest you could get to like
sticking the middle finger as like an adult.
Does that make sense?
Cause it's really nasty.
It is so nasty.
You know what it is too?
I've always found, I have always found like
impersonating giving head to a girl so gross.
Like what do you-
So people can go
Like that whole thing and it's funny.
That's crazy.
See you like-
I'm like that looked insane.
Well I can get myself head.
No you can't.
I really can.
Let me see that thought, thought, thought, thought thing.
No, but that's funny to people,
but like you can't even look at it.
So gross, bro. Also I like, why can't even look at it. It's so gross, bro.
Also, why is it a thing?
Are there women out there who see guys
who thirst trap with the whole tongue situation?
Are there actually people out there, women and men,
who see someone's tongue doing all that
and they're like, fuck?
Because I see that and I'm like...
I don't know know at that point,
just like post yourself actually giving head.
But then I guess like the whole thing
is your face will be blocked.
Disgusting.
I just think it's nasty.
It's just so visceral.
It's just a thing.
Yeah.
It's so visceral.
And I think most people who do that,
especially dead serious are bad at giving head to women
Yeah, it's kind of like when the weekend was obsessed with I was getting ahead to women
I think licking that tongue on stage rock hard like that's crazy
That is crazy work. Also, like I don't know something like I just it feels like a lie
It feels like a lot girl. We didn't even fucking talk about Gaga performing
to 2.1 million people.
I haven't seen anything of it
because I wasn't like on my phone.
All I saw was like a screenshot on Instagram
or I saw a thing of like crowds like moving.
It's crazy.
How many people?
2.1 million.
Oh, we could do that.
Yeah, we can pull that. Brazil's beautiful. We're gonna pull up to Copacabana.
Literally 38 people show up. No we're gonna get kicked out. Yeah my dad got axed in the
head at Copacabana. Oh that's sweet. Like legitimately. I know. And it's stuck in his
head. You know what's crazy is I've never noticed this little spot right here is a scar
and if you look and touch it, it's a scar,
but it literally is from when I grabbed that stalking
as a kid and I stabbed myself in the head,
but I've never noticed that's why I have
a weird fake widow's peak because if you look too closely
at my scalp, you can see a small line
where hair just doesn't grow,
so my hair started growing around.
Ew.
Ew, it's so nasty.
I should shave my widow's peak, right?
And I should shave around my head
to give myself the perfect ideal hairline.
It's really gross.
Stop shaving your widow's peak.
I guess everybody gets to do what they want,
but the shaving the widow's peak.
The five o'clock shadow widow's peak
is a really crazy vibe. You're allowed to.
You're really allowed to. Yeah if that's where you want to go it's literally like no if that no it's
like if that's what you want like I love you and I'll go there with you would I do it to myself?
Absolutely not. You couldn't pay me to do that but I see you and I see that that's what you like. I
think widow's peaks are like so cute. I want one.
How did people get, like how did,
cause I don't even have a deep widow's peak
saying that is crazy.
Cause I don't think I technically actually have one.
I want one.
And growing up, I wanted one so bad
when I was like learning like punnet squares
and like genetics and shit.
I was jealous of the people with widow's peaks
and like the ear lobes.
What ear lobes?
Like disconnected ear lobes?
Are your ears, oh your lobes are like connected.
But I think mine are pretty connected too.
No, you have detached.
Is that like, like-
But you can't, you want what you can't have
and I wanted-
I've never thought about my ears, I can't lie.
Like my ears have never been like,
oh I wish I had better ears.
Like, but I know some people-
I mean, you should be thinking about them babe.
Are they big?
They're nasty. I feel like I have one pointy ear and I I mean, you should be thinking about them, babe. Are they big? They're nasty.
I feel like I have one pointy ear.
And I-
No, you have such cute ears.
You have such proportionate ears.
In middle school one time,
I don't know which ear is pointy,
but one time somebody was like,
you have such an elf ear on that side of your head.
And that was the only time I thought about my ear
and I did cover my earlobe.
So I was like-
Oh, insecurity is born.
No, I'm not an elf. Insecurity is born. Because also I was really short. I think pointy ears are cute. So it felt kind of like they were calling me like a
hobbit from Lord of the Rings. I genuinely considered getting my ears cut
and then sewed into being pointy for like 30 minutes. That's okay. When I was like
16 I'm not even joking. Oh well well, I also consider I considered splitting my time
I wanted a split I wanted a split time because seeing people like try with it
Drinks at the same time
Could you imagine what that would do to your brain like cutting your tongue in half and putting like coffee in one side and then
Coca-Cola and the other and then like half of your brain tastes coffee and half of your brain tastes coke like could you imagine?
What that fucking feels like I feel like it would short-cir half of your brain tastes coke. Like, could you imagine what that fucking feels like?
I feel like it would short circuit your brain.
I guess you could literally just put a drop of coke.
Yeah.
You wouldn't have to like go the extra way.
Yeah, I was a bit obsessed with body mods
when I was a teenager.
Like there was a second where I really like it.
I feel like for a lot of people who actually go into it,
I never went there because my dad was so anti-piercings
and all those things.
Like my dad didn't even like that I dyed my hair a lot.
That was a huge point of like beef between us.
I wanted to say a better word,
but I can't be like contend, continge, oop, beef.
That was our beef growing up.
And so then I had fake gauges. Beef that was our beef growing up. Um, and
So then I had fake gauges I had those earrings from Hot Topic that were like the fake gauges and I really wanted to stretch my ears now
I'm glad he didn't let me because I don't think I would be able to like rock stretched ears
So I think I would have like moved past it, but he wouldn't let me do that
I really wanted like an industrial bar. I wanted piercings all down my ear. I wanted a nose piercing.
I really wanted an eyebrow piercing.
At one point I was like really thinking about like the-
Oh, nose bridge.
Nose bridge, but my dad was just so anti all of that
because for him that means you're a fucking bruja
and you're evil and you're like going to hell
and you're gonna burn
and like also bring demon crats to the family.
Yeah.
So that wasn't a vibe, but I wish I did.
I wanted it so bad, but I did want to split tongue
because I like, damn, but to me that just sounded
like a lit party trick.
I really wanted like an RFID chip put into my palm
right here so you could scan it.
And like I've seen people like-
Do people still do that?
Cause why at certain stores it's like put your hand here.
That's I think just biometric reading
at the airport and shit.
That's not like chips in your hand, but-
I met her at Whole Foods when it's like you're in Amazon.
That's just biometric, like scanning your palm I think.
But I'm not 100% sure
cause I love to spread misinformation.
Well I'm gonna do kind of the power of makeup situation
like Nikkie tutorials, except change the lines on my hand
and then see if the biometrics can pick me up.
Girl, there's no stopping this fucking palm.
There's no changing that.
Yeah, you do have like the lines,
like, I mean, their story's great.
I've got the lines of a mastermind.
I have just like the softest, nicest hands ever,
like the ememian person. Wait, let me see your palm.
nicest hands ever, like the MME in person.
Okay, both of our lines go in between here. This means we're selfless.
We give too much of ourselves to people.
I'm not kidding.
I'm sure I know a lot of selfish bitches.
No, selfless.
No, but I'm saying I think I might know a lot of selfish bitches with that, selfless. Or I said, no, but I'm saying I think I might know
a lot of selfish bitches with that money.
They're going against their beaten path.
No, there are too many selfish people in this world.
I do think being selfish is so important,
but also I think being selfish is important
for anxious people who care more about
the people around them because they don't see
any value in themselves, which is like sadly me
and a lot of people I know.
I agree to a certain extent, but like,
there are people that take the selfishness to an extreme.
Oh, well, yeah, that's what gives like the word
or the idea of selfish, such a bad taste in your mouth.
But I remember when I first started going to therapy,
that was a huge thing with my therapist, is her kind of reiterating to me time and time again that the
idea to be selfish is coded in negativity, but being selfish is such a key component of living
your life and moving forward and checking with yourself. And she always talked about how to her, the idea of being selfish is less about
being greedy or being
uncaring to others or constantly putting yourself first above others as much as it
is just like you are all you have.
So to make sure that every movement you go
through, it's with the selfish intent that like,
this is what I want, like this is what I'm feeling,
whatever, because a lot of people aren't taught
to be selfish.
I think especially like women and gay dudes.
Are you gay?
I'm gay.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, there go my chances.
I would never have sex with you.
Well that's funny,
because I would never have sex with you.
Your body disgusts me.
The idea of your body makes me quiver with you.
Shake in anger.
Well, shit.
That was the episode.
I'm so sore from fucking working out four days a week.
Oh my God.
And guess what?
I'm going to the gym today.
My wrist and jaw hurts
because I was hanging out with your mom last night.
It's like, yeah.
Why would your jaw hurt?
She had a stain on her leg and it was ketchup and I was trying to get it off but I used
my um my like uh my mouth.
Eww.
I will my nevermind I was gonna go real low.
Won't do that to you.
Um well guys thank you so much for listening to this episode. So, won't do that to you.
Well guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode, my video.
Wait, how about we do Drew Siott?
Oh.
Yeah.
This is my impression of a lesbian dropping her keys.
Oops, I dropped my keys.
Also, I love eating pussy.
I believe when lesbians talk about giving giving head because I mean shit there ain't much
else to do there's plenty of other shit to do but like plenty of other fish to fry you
can't move the car without starting it.
What is the difference between Kava and kratom?
Kratom is evil, sinister, dark, sick, twisted.
Don't ever touch it in your life.
It is an opiate analog and it, or not really, but it attaches to the same receptors in your
brains that opiates do.
Kava is like similar to Xanax in the way that it calms your anxieties,
but it makes your mouth really numb
and it feels fucking weird.
There's a bunch of Kava bars in Miami.
It's a huge thing.
Kava is like more chill.
And I think there are like, I mean-
There's Kratom bars in Miami too.
Yeah, there's like cultural roots in both Kratom and Kava.
Yeah, I looked it up when I saw the Kava bar
and I was like, holy shit, Kava is a thing,
but yeah, it is like a huge like cultural thing.
I hate Samoan.
But no, it's like drinking beer
without all the bad effects of alcohol.
Oh, there's Kava bars here.
I'm sure there's probably Kratom bars here too,
but that shit is so evil.
And like, it's so sad watching these influencer white girls
accidentally get addicted to these feel good shots
and then not realize that they're literally about to go through.
Oh, the Kratom ones that were all over the place?
If you see those blue shots that say feel good on them
and they look like they're a supplement
that you just take at night and it's like,
oh, I'm gonna drink,
or I'm not gonna drink tonight,
but I'm gonna take this and feel fine,
you will get addicted to them.
Your body will develop a dependency to them
and you will go through withdrawals
very similar to that of fucking heroin.
So just be careful, just be careful.
I'm not telling you don't do it, but just tread lightly.
But Calvis chill.
I think so.
I haven't really looked much.
I'm pretty sure there's so many bars.
But I thought when I saw the Calvo bar,
I thought of Kratom,
because I always mix those up.
And I was like, holy shit.
People are just going and getting Kratom drinks.
No, they do that. No, that's what my home girl was telling me. She was like, oh, at one of the Cal getting kratom drinks. No, they do that.
No, that's what my home girl was telling me.
She was like, oh, at one of the kava bars
she goes to in Miami, they do offer kratom drinks as well.
So there's like the regular kava drinks
that like everyone is used to,
or you can add kratom to your drinks.
And she was talking to me about that.
And I was like, please don't put kratom in your drink.
I mean, shit. Please don't put kreatum in your drink. Mm-hmm.
I mean, shit.
I should probably stop taking kreatum every day, huh? Yeah, exactly.
Fuck!
I can't, it makes me feel so good.
My media is Driving Online the Breeders,
SMS, Miley Cyrus,
Margaret, Lana Del Rey, and then,
oh, what was that song?
Paper Gangster, Lady Gaga,
and I still haven't started the rehearsal,
but literally everyone in my life is saying
that the third episode of the rehearsal
is like one of the greatest pieces of television.
You know it's all fake and it's scripted this year.
The rehearsal?
Wow.
I'm lying, I don't know.
I heard shit about it, bro.
Mine is Welcome to Hollywood by Beyonce.
The B-Day album is my favorite album. I'm sorry if you want to fight about it
I don't want to hear it alone again by Gilbert O. Sullivan, which is what I did at karaoke and
The saddest song ever fucking created. I've heard that song a million times
But reading the lyrics was really destable, but I know it was a crazy vibe
I came into karaoke and immediately did Alone Again
after that one, yeah. Alone Again, naturally.
Yamaha, the fast edit by Radio Madness on SoundCloud,
that is a song Mason sent me that's like from The Dream,
who's like a Miami classic, but I've never heard that one,
and it sped up is so good,
and it's all I've been listening to.
Oh yeah.
You love the 80s.
And yeah, that's my media.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
Hopefully I'll be alive next week.
Hopefully I'm not alive next week.
AHHHHH