Emergency Intercom - Arby's squirrel nuggets

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

Drew teaches enya what Italian brain rot is, enya moved back to la and ky is an office bottom Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://RocketMoney.com/INTERCOM. Go to https://Zocdoc.com/INTERCO...M to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor. Start selling today and sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:01 your next taco night at home and do the real deal. Find Tia Rosa Tortillas at select grocery stores and get the stew! Literally. And you moved to Miami for a week and then moved back. Well I got kicked out of Miami because I went to Eleven and I took off all my clothes. That was really weird. But I thought that was a vibe. I haven't really partaken in club culture so I always assumed it was like kind of the thing is you go and you get drunk and then you take all your clothes off and also the bathroom line was really long and I did piss in the booth me and my friends got but again if I'm paying for a booth
Starting point is 00:02:02 why can't I piss in the booth? Why don't you just piss on the floor? Piss on the floor? What's up? Like literally nothing. Oh, Drew on the last episode made fun of me for making the kitchen dirty. I came back and there was mold in the dishwasher and I'm going to insert the picture and I don't want to know his defense. It's just crazy because like to get online and say that I'm dirty and then I leave the kitchen dirty. It was your dishes. I did all of your dishes. I loaded it up and then I took those dishes out. Those were Josh's fucking
Starting point is 00:02:34 dishes. I put them in there. I started the dishwasher. The thing didn't open because I didn't close it right or whatever you gave me the tutorial but I did three loads of your dishes so that's crazy because I didn't leave mold in my dishes so you you put you did actually you did in the fucking sink when I was pouring out your six month old coffee cups globs of gum oh my god okay also they're not that old hello actually they are pretty old because like I feel like oat milk and almond milk take longer to curdle over than regular milk. And it is really gross.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I don't know if anybody has experienced- Borax free slime tutorial and it's just literally leave almond milk in a mug in your sink for two weeks. That is so nasty, it is disgusting. It is disgusting the texture it becomes also. I don't know if anybody else has experienced this because obviously growing up drinking expired milk classic drinking expired almond milk
Starting point is 00:03:29 like obviously nothing expired and curdled is good but expired almond milk literally tastes like acetone like a tampon was resting in acetone but like a clean tampon like all the things that they fear monger me about what's in the tampons and what's going in my bloodstream It literally feels like they put a cup of acetone with a bit of almond milk. That's what rotted almond bleach free tampons There is no such thing as bleach free tampons. I actually don't know that I take that back I think the ones you use that come in that like plastic I think those say bleach free. Yeah, The ones I usually buy technically bleach free, but like I just don't believe it. Like I'm just like, how this tampon so clean though.
Starting point is 00:04:11 What are tampons? It's literally like wadded up cotton, I'm pretty sure. But I, listen, I'm not the right person. I've never thought about what I'm putting in. I just put it in. I was told put it in and I'm like, okay, I'll put it in. Like easy, there's a hole there for a reason. Put it in, put it in, put it in.
Starting point is 00:04:26 You know a lot of girls growing up. In. It's Miss Rachel. Oh, I've never seen Miss Rachel because I don't have the kind of family that watches what their kids have. I have the kind of family that puts an iPad in a kid's face and it's not YouTube kids.
Starting point is 00:04:40 And they just watch like people dying on Instagram. Yeah, they just watch absolutely whatever comes up. I saw recently this woman talking to her kid and talking about how he was accidentally on the regular YouTube app and not the YouTube kids app and that greened me out because I don't think any child in my family even knows that there is a YouTube for kids.
Starting point is 00:04:59 They just know what YouTube looks like because I feel like also most parents don't even think about YouTube for kids. What's on there? I think my niece uses regular YouTube too and I scrolled through her feed one time. Mind you, she's starting pre-K this year. And it was the most rotted shit I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Like ballerina, cappuccino or some shit like that. It's like Italian brain rot. Like it was fucking. Wait, I was at someone's like that. It's like Italian brain rot. Like it was fucking... Wait, I was at someone's house and they had looked up Italian brain rot. It was on my friend's house. They were looking up on TikTok Italian brain rot and that's never crossed my mind because I've thought about the gay accent in different languages but I've never thought about brain rot in other languages. Oh once like something goes international it becomes a thing that everybody can play with. Like, Italian brain rot is here in America,
Starting point is 00:05:50 and I've been off social media for real for two months, and I have no fucking idea. For the first time in my life, I feel very unk coded because I wasn't there for the conception and the genesis of this brain rot. And I know all brain rot. I've literally invented brain rot. It's literally just like AI generated photos of like
Starting point is 00:06:15 cappuccinos that are dancing like ballerinas and like fucking like crocodiles that are made out of watermelon and shit. It's like called that crocodile watermelon millo or some shit like that. Like out of watermelon and shit. It's like called that Crocodillo Watermill-o or some shit like that. Like it's really fucking crazy. I feel like we've talked about this before because once we have also this raw is crazy.
Starting point is 00:06:34 But when we've talked about like skimity toilet and how we think that is like the most undesirable and like unfunny thing ever. But half of the shit we were consuming as kids was really unfunny and not that interesting. Like it's that and then it's the name. They're selling toys of it? My mom.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Walmart is selling toys of them. My mom knew about Italian Brain Rot before I did and she was explaining it to me and she was like, it's actually really cute. Like the videos of the cappuccinos Dancing are really cute and the song is really sweet and I like literally it does not Resonate with me at all And so, you know what I did is I called my like 12 year old nephew and I literally like sat on the phone with
Starting point is 00:07:17 him for an hour and I was like, what are the kids saying in class right now and It's chicken jockey like that is like Yeah, the Minecraft movie and then um they're saying Ballerina Cappuccino they're still saying Huzz and Bruzz all that shit what were we saying like shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes like that vibe, like what was our vibe? It's like you have to get the like orange. Mine was like poop and mine was, it was 21. Like 21. Oh, 21. The modern day version of that is like, Chudai, but it's like.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Chudai? Yeah, but it's like a gay porn Twitter thing. Oh, okay. And it's like, but it's all robots. I learned so many things from my friends. It's AI robots. It's like accounts that like, are crazy and they'll just say like,
Starting point is 00:08:12 chew die or something. I don't know what the fucking word is. I just never have seen it ever once in my life. So it's like, I really don't understand it. You're accidentally saying something crazy. I think it's like water, cause they always have the squirt emoji next to it. Ew, ew, ew.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Using emojis in a real sexual tent, like that you're chopped. That's like, those are our Egyptian hieroglyphics and for you to deface them in that way is really tough. Drewmoji coming soon, guys. Drewmoji is coming very soon. Oh my god, just like at this point, I mean I have it, so it's like I've been had it, I've had it for so long.
Starting point is 00:08:51 I still use it, but like we need an update, we need an update, the people who have it, we need an update. I want one. Well no, I turned off the beta, or the beta expired, so like no one has it, you just have the ones that you used. Used a lot yeah but the app doesn't exist right now but um yeah i need to probably make more question mark but
Starting point is 00:09:13 Jinmoji came in and they really thought they were see that's the craziest thing hold on hold on that's what i was gonna say they really they really thought they could dethrone the king like they they saw drew moji like in the waves it was making in the media. And the nine downloads. Yeah, the nine downloads and they said, oh, we gotta nip this in the bud real quick. And instead of reaching out to buy. That's what they did to Kim Kardashian as well.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Exactly, instead of reaching out to buy, they thought they could dethrone the king by releasing their Jin Moji, which is dog shit by the way. Like real, real, real. I can't lie. Never touched Jin Moji. I don't have it. I don't have it. Never updated to that. I'm like, real real never touched. I don't have it I don't have it dated to that. It's dog shit. I haven't used it once like don't fucking Thrones emoji. That's what I'm getting to and anyone sent me a gen moji one. I'm completely Offended because
Starting point is 00:10:01 The way gen moji thinks I look versus what I think I look like, no. I didn't need to know. And that sends us Jen Moji versions of ourselves and I'm like, oh wow, so I really am puggy. I really am wide-faced. I really do got that Lily Rose depth head, that fucking Sabrina Carpenter head. No shade.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Does Sabrina have a big head? Oh. She's got a big head? No, it's all that hair. It's all the hair, no shade. We both have big heads. Oh yeah, I know. You have a giant fucking, you had a big fucking head. Oh. She's got a big head. But like no shade. No, it's all that hair. It's all the hair, no shade. We both have big heads. Oh yeah, I know. You have a giant fucking, you had a big fucking head.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Okay, no, I asked them recently if I had a big head and they said no. Who said that? Who said that? No, I think I technically do have a big head. Like, yeah. No, we have big heads and we ride for the big head community. Yeah, I like, I feel like usually people I gravitate towards have like heavier heads
Starting point is 00:10:48 But it's not like it does not I mean especially in your case It does not indicate knowledge or like wisdom my case it does but in your specific case It's not because we're like but knowledge and wisdom can land on so many spectrums It can land on the knowledge and wisdom of like life and how to navigate the world, but it can also land in just like, you know how to suck a mean dick. Why was my head going straight to sex too? Cause I was going to say the same fucking thing, bro. If you're good as fuck at sex, you need to go to jail. No, that's really fucking freaky and creepy. Like somebody, if I'm hooking up with somebody
Starting point is 00:11:22 who multiple people have hooked up with and all of them have good reviews, that grains me out because I think like, call me old fashioned. I genuinely think that like, I feel like all sex you have should be good if you're lucky, but to find someone you have great sexual chemistry with is like, oh my God, like I can't believe this is what all of us is about.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I think sex should be mid the first couple of times. Oh, 100%. That's my hot take. that you have sexual chemistry with is like, oh my God, like I can't believe this is what all the fuss is about. I think sex should be mid the first couple times. Oh, 100%. That's my hot take. It has to be mid because it's like, what? I don't know. You don't know me. If someone is good at sex right off bat,
Starting point is 00:11:53 like really you're a fucking freak. You're the killer. You need to be locked up in jail immediately. You're literally the killer. What do you mean you know all the buttons? You haven't been in this car, bitch. Like why do you know what to do? And it's because you're a slut.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Someone cooked here someone cooked here I don't even think that someone cooked here makes sense anymore because we all have iPhones and we all see so much shit so the someone cooked like really you really can't even know if a bitch was there before like so it's like someone cooked here and it's like a straight man that's like washing their ass crack remember when that was like a real thing online when like like It like everyone washes their ass crack now But like probably like six or seven years ago It was first starting to bubble up and like it was like a real thing that men weren't washing their ass crack
Starting point is 00:12:39 It's still kind of like a conversation in terms of like they're still like But the thing is to even say it's like an overtly straight dude thing sounds crazy, but it really is because there are some people who are like, oh, it's gay to go between my butt cheeks. They're literally yours for a reason. You can go in there. You can go in there.
Starting point is 00:13:00 You legally have the right to go right up your own butt. Like that's the only butt you can get between, like with no questions asked, and how are you not getting between your own cheeks? Like also out of pure curiosity, how are some of y'all not looking at your genitals, looking at your butt? Like do y'all have no, like there's nothing out of curiosity.
Starting point is 00:13:22 And what's fucking crazy is like, they don't have people in their life. Like I'm in your life and I look at your like discharge panties and I'm looking at the coloration. Yes. Before we go to bed, well, sometimes I get caught up because sometimes it's like, wow, the discharge is like, it's kind of like.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Oh wait, I found out about. It's like a yogurt land situation. Oh, it's really fucking creepy sometimes. It's like brat. Yeah. It's brat in those underwears. Yeah, my brat really fucking creepy. Yeah, it's like brat. Yeah Yeah, but the new age brat. Yeah, the new discharge brat Yeah But we took that joke from Orion. Yeah, that was Orion's joke, but
Starting point is 00:14:03 Fuck oh, I found out about period panties today because I saw a video or or a couple days ago, I saw this video of this guy thinking he was being cute and funny and had this girl's panties and put them on his head. And there was just a giant brown stain on the vagina area. And she was like, oh my stain, my stain, my stain. And I went to the comments and I was like, oh she's about to get ripped to shreds. And all of the comments were from girls being like,
Starting point is 00:14:22 he had no idea that those were her period panties. Like da da da da da da da da da. Yeah, you always, I feel like that usually becomes an accident, but you always have the panties that are like, I seriously, you wanna guess the color of my underwear? Stain. It's brown. Like literally the period underwear is like,
Starting point is 00:14:38 the underwear that one day you just accidentally laugh too hard and like, you literally just shoot out some extra lining and that becomes your pair. I don't want to throw them away because like a stain never hurt anybody I will say though I never bothered me anyway I'm just like not the kind of person to throw away underwear for a stain like I don't like I have I kind of have like you have skid mark underwear you got duty marks and all of your white underwear. Well, no, no, no. If it comes from the butt, the stain must flow. No, no.
Starting point is 00:15:06 No. You're backtracking. Oh, but yeah, to clarify, every day at the end of the night, I take off my underwear and I leave it by Drew's bed and by the morning he's done like- I'm like a dog. I don't get to stand around while he examines up. You really do just sleep in my bed now.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I know, it's bad. I sleep in Drew's bed every night. We really have, I think, since living in the new house have slept in my bed more than you've slept in your bed. Your bed is just so comfy. It's literally a movie. I love your bed. It's so good. Also like it's really bad because I like, I just, I try to, I like to switch my sheets often. And I just came back from Miami.
Starting point is 00:15:45 And because I've been like going back and forth between like here and Miami more often this year, I haven't been changing my sheets because I get back and I'm like, why would I change my sheets? There's a clean bed downstairs with my man in it waiting to keep me warm. So I'd rather do that. I keep you warm.
Starting point is 00:16:01 But yeah, no, I need to start sleeping alone because I've been realizing I haven't spent any time alone in kind of a long time. Like I haven't been like fully alone. Like I had two days this year where I purposefully isolated myself, but I am constantly around people all the time. And that's because I'm so derealized.
Starting point is 00:16:24 I need to be distracted. Cause if I'm left alone, I have to that's because I'm so derealized I need to be distracted because if I'm left alone I have to remind myself that I'm alive but not in like a soul trapped in my mind kind of way but like remembering that I have blood flowing through my veins like when I'm driving sometimes I can feel my blood I don't like I don't feel anything in my body and I'm like there's no way there's stuff in this body there's no way there's stuff in this body. There's no way there's things up here. I think while driving that is a natural, like, cause we, like, the act of driving is so unnatural that we probably experience like a trauma response every single time we drive
Starting point is 00:16:52 because our brains are not wired to drive. Well that's also the only time I'm usually alone. Yeah. But also sometimes when I, no, no, I'm not gonna go down there cause I'm gonna start scaring myself. Have you heard of the ugly for ugly trend? You for you?
Starting point is 00:17:07 Uh, no, actually it's you for you. No, that's funny because I- It's actually them for them. The audience. Me when I started non-binary dating app. Them for them. But ugly for ugly has been this trend happening on Grindr where people will make, like, you know, mask for mask. Yeah. It's just like, girl just like girl like get a grip it's ugly for ugly and like people will
Starting point is 00:17:31 message and like interact with people and that are mask for mask or just in general ones they'll read their bio and it's like ugly for ugly and these people will respond back and be like girl I'm not fucking ugly and it's just basically calling you this person ugly, or this person ugly. Hey, I feel like we would get along because we're both ugly. Yeah, we should hook up ugly for ugly.
Starting point is 00:17:51 No one is ugly. Top 10 biggest lies I've ever said. We wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Rocket Money. Y'all, I am a serial-free trial user and forgetter. It is one of my worst habits ever. Oh, it's so bad. One time I was subscribed to Club Penguin for five whole years.
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Starting point is 00:19:32 high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. For a hypochondriac like me, ZockDoc is literally the goat. The second I see or feel something wrong with my body I am on ZocDoc looking it up and it's also insane how many specialties ZocDoc covers because like the most obscure weird like little thing that I have wrong with my body there is a specialist on ZocDoc. Specifically like I've been dealing with eczema recently. We're going to a dermatologist and the craziest part is I was able to go within 24 hours of booking my appointment.
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Starting point is 00:20:33 Well, I found, oh, fuck, damn, I have a lot of notes. Okay, the first thing I wanna say is I wanna admit something that I've never said on camera, but I've only thought about this because I have siblings who are a bit younger than me and they're finally getting into the real throws of a relationship, let alone as, because of my upbringing, I do think,
Starting point is 00:20:59 and I think you two were anxiously attached people, so the idea- Me and O'Brien were literally, because O'Brien spent the night last night and we were talking about like attachment styles last night. Yeah. Also girl, you freaked the fuck out last night by the way. Inya fell asleep in 0.5 seconds
Starting point is 00:21:16 and me and Orion were being loud as fuck. All of the lights were on and like Inya fell asleep. Like girl, I was like, damn, she like nodded off. Like she was on a fucking perk. It's because y'all were drinking last night and I was like, damn, she like nodded off like she was on a fucking perk. It's because y'all were drinking last night and I was like, yes, I'm one of the girls too, I'll drink. And I had some of a white claw and because of my fucking Prozac, it literally like,
Starting point is 00:21:35 when y'all came back in, because I overheard y'all saying something and I woke up, I was, I swear to God, I was dead asleep. Oh my God, yeah, right. No, I swear, I swear on my mother's urn, I swear on my grandpa's death. I swear on my grandma's. And you're fake asleep and then she heard
Starting point is 00:21:49 the conversation we were talking about and she shot right up and she was like, wait, who's getting a boob job? No, I was really nodding off. No, she was asleep. Like it's actually bad. That's why I was like, can we move down to your room? Because when we were in my bed and I laid down,
Starting point is 00:22:01 especially after eating, like I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna pass away. And then we went downstairs and I knocked out, but I don't remember after that. Like I- But she was like falling asleep and me and Orion were literally just talking loud as fuck. I found a therapist, by the way guys,
Starting point is 00:22:17 really exciting moment. We'll see if it works. I have a consultation for free to see if we're a good fit. But- I haven't spoken to my therapist in a few months and she texted me and was like, is everything okay? Yeah, and then, um, and you're just laying there and me and Orion are talking
Starting point is 00:22:32 and she goes, and then the fucking like jerks, hard as fuck, and literally hits Orion in the face. Wait, I actually hit her? You literally hit her. I thought that she was saying that. I thought she was joking, cause I was like, what are you talking about? No, you literally like went, and like hit her in the fucking feet. Oh no thought that she was saying that. I thought she was joking, because I was like, what are you talking about? No, you literally like went and like hit her
Starting point is 00:22:47 in the fucking seat. Oh no, I didn't know that. When she said that this morning, I was like, what are you talking about? I thought y'all were trolling me, but I don't remember. No, and you got so mad when we told you, we were like, yeah, and you're like, damn, and you're chill, you freaked out. You just hit Orion.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And then you were like, shut up. Like, no, I didn't. Like, no, no. And then like literally in five seconds, you were asleep again. You know what I did the other day too I slept over at a friend's house and I woke up and the first thing I said was she was like dude you were talking in your sleep and I remember interacting with her that morning and I woke up and she said the first thing I said is like the kitten
Starting point is 00:23:20 the shell kitten he also the most popular right now and like that's what I said and then she was like, what? And I was like, can you shut up? I'm talking in my sleep. You know I'm talking in my sleep. Stop talking back to me. And then she said she kept talking to me because she was like, wait, is she trolling me?
Starting point is 00:23:35 She couldn't tell because it was also in the morning. It was like 9 a.m. Girl, it was 2 p.m. No, when I'm in Miami, I do know. I unironically sleep so long there and it didn't that day. I think that day I did sleep until two because I woke up and we talked about me sleep talking and then I knocked back out, which I guess is like a reoccurring thing for me. But I was like, I was so mean.
Starting point is 00:23:56 There's that I was like, can you shut the fuck up? Like, you know, I'm fucking sleep talking like fuck. Like, and I was like doing that and I like turned back over and then I was like, no, but this shell, you know, the shells, the kids' shells. And then I just knocked back out. And then when I woke up, she was like, what are you talking about? I was like, I don't know, I didn't have a dream.
Starting point is 00:24:13 The Chanel kitten heels. Yeah, I didn't have a dream with heels in it. I guess I just woke up and that's what, I think I was having a dream about trends. I think in my dream, I had seen somebody predicting trends and somebody predicted that like, shells would be a trend in kitten heels and I was like shells. Well because you don't know this Because you're not a gear um, but last year there was like that viral skirt that had shells all over and girls really wanted it
Starting point is 00:24:38 It was super expensive. So a bunch of people started diy-ing it but it was a skirt just covered in shells that made the most noise ever, and it was like, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrrr, krrr, krrr, krrr, kr and interacted my sleep. No, you sleep hit. Okay. But I did roll over and grab Orion and then realized I grabbed Orion and like went, oh my God, and then I rolled back and turned around. I have a big bed now. My favorite sleeping story is when I turned over and like hugged Orion and held her for a second
Starting point is 00:25:20 and then I opened my eyes and I like realized it was her. And she said, I opened my eyes and went. And it was her and she said I opened my eyes and went And then just like turns back over and like went to sleep. It's so real Okay. Well a power outage I decided like I've like Like a power outage caused by a storm Specifically is like the greatest feeling in the world. And I've only had positive experiences with that, except once when I was like four. When I was like young, I had really, really bad asthma. I don't know if I told you that,
Starting point is 00:25:51 but like I literally like, there were several times where I like almost died. I like grew out of it, but we were in a power outage. And like, it was so cute. Like my mom and me and Madeline and all my siblings like gathered in the living room and we lit all of the candles in the house and it was so pretty and like
Starting point is 00:26:08 Jared and Sam and Jodie were doing like homework by the fireplace and like me and Madeline were chilling and then I just started having like the gnarliest panic attack like I was probably like four and I like vividly remember like like I could not breathe and I had a nebulizer and. Nebulizer. Yeah, it's like this thing that you put on your face and it pumps albuterol and whatever else steam in your fucking lungs. And we started using it.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Oh my God, my parents would use that shit on me, not exactly that, but the Vicks version or machines like that when I was congested and I want one of those again so bad but my sibling or my little sister Sophia needed that a lot growing up because she had um she had to get her tonsils removed she had like a lot of congestion and tonsil issues so she was always like choking on her mucus and shit so they would have to put her in that little mask and I was so jealous, because they put that little medicine, the little like clear thing in it, like the drops. Maybe it is the same thing,
Starting point is 00:27:09 because I never got to use it. I only got to use it if I was really sick. But my sister got to use it all the time and I was so jealous, because it felt like an alien contraption. Like from the movie, I was like, I'm sick. It literally is. But it was battery powered and we ran out of batteries
Starting point is 00:27:26 and you're supposed to be able to plug it into a wall. So I remember sitting in candlelight power outage, literally not being able to breathe and begging my mom for my nebulizer. Like, I want my nebulizer. Like, I need my nebulizer, I need it, I need it. And I'm like, literally choking out. And she did not know what to fucking do and eventually like the spasm passed
Starting point is 00:27:49 or whatever the fuck, my airways like cleared up or some shit, but like I literally thought I was gonna die. I think the closest I've gotten to that feeling is maybe like in a steam room, in a steam room with too much steam in it and I go in there and then for like, I try to be cool cause I can't fuck with a steam room, I try to be chill and I go in there and then for like, I try to be cool, cause I can't fuck with a steam room. I try to be chilled and like, oh, steam room, so sexy.
Starting point is 00:28:09 But without fail, every time I enter a steam room, I like, by reaction, for some, I wanna like suck in all the air to get my body acclimated to it. And then I feel like I start choking on the steam. And then I try to act chill, cause usually when you enter a steam room, especially at like a gym or something, there's people in there. So I'll then I try to act chill because usually when you enter a steam room especially at like a gym or something there's people in there so I'll
Starting point is 00:28:27 go in trying to act chill and I'll go and sit down and like hold myself and try to like regulate my breathing but then I am convincing myself that I'm gonna throw up and like knock out because it's too much steam and then I run out. I really like you can't go to a steam room in LA as a man. So much sperm. Sperm spunk mold and cruising bulls. It's super cruisy. Well, I found something we need to go to and it's a musical, but it's furries.
Starting point is 00:28:58 And it's like- That sounds fucking lit. They're in furry costumes. Ah. ["Furries"] Like they're in furry costumes. Ah. Oh my God. Like they're in there. Oh, we need to go to this. No, see, I love furries. I'm not even kidding.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Spain. Spain's got talent. Why can't they do America's Got Talent? Does America not fuck with furries? Sydney Sweeney farted at the Met Gala. No, she didn't. Did she really? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Is that like a rumor we're trying to start? I think so. Sydney had bubbly guts at the Met Gala. Yeah, Sydney Sweeney farted at the Met Gala. Sydney was experiencing what Kai experienced at Coachella at the Met Gala. Sydney was experiencing what Kai experienced at Coachella at the Met Gala. Well, the thing I was going to admit earlier, which I never got around to is I, although many years in therapy and working on myself, guys, sometimes I still fall too.
Starting point is 00:30:02 When my first boyfriend, Roy, when Roy, I, Roy. Names Roy, Roy. But actually I'll just say, no, it's a really bad thing. And like me and him have talked about it, so I think it's fine. Also like I'm friends with the guy. It's all chill.
Starting point is 00:30:18 We live our lives. Everything is amazing. We got very lucky in that sense. But when he first broke up with me, I threw myself on the floor, had a panic attack and said that it hurt more than when my mom died. They got you to girl. So damn, I forgot that lasted for about 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I was having a panic attack. I was like, I'm going back to Miami, going back to Miami. You're breaking my heart. You're destroying me. I wanna kill myself. And then about 10 minutes passed and I did stand up and I was like, I'm not going to Miami.
Starting point is 00:30:55 I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go home. And then I profusely apologize because that is a crazy thing. I can't believe you had to drive home after that. I almost crashed the car. Yeah. But then we got back together. It's like classic, classic breakup shit.
Starting point is 00:31:09 But then we really broke up and then, yeah, I just wanted to let that out there because all of my siblings have been going through it with relationships and like calling me and talking to me about it. And then going on a tangent about how they feel crazy because they are crazy. I know what I'm finding out is literally everyone is bat shit crazy. Yeah, like everyone people hide it.
Starting point is 00:31:29 People hide it better than other people. But everyone deep fucking down is a jealous, insecure, crazy person, myself included. Don't get it twisted. Like literally everyone is bat shit fucking crazy. And maybe maybe that's just the normal. is bad shit fucking crazy and maybe maybe that's just the normal and we've been programmed to think by the patriarchy that being crazy is like a bad thing but it's not really me trying to convince myself it's okay that I threw myself on the floor when my mom died drew crashing out like the thing is
Starting point is 00:32:01 I don't know how I was just not as fun because like. Because you hate me. No, because a man. And you switched up on me by the way, we're not friends right now. A man, sadness and anger, I love you so much. But also, you know what it is, it goes back and forth because when I'm having anxious freak outs over shit
Starting point is 00:32:18 that you can see clearly that I'm just making things up. I'm always there for you. I have never once not been there for you. He makes fun of me. Don't I don't know what this all is. I don't know what's all this then. Because literally. What's all this?
Starting point is 00:32:31 I don't make fun of you. I don't know what's all this then. Literally like we need it. Like I think that's like the way we all ground each other is literally like when one of us is freaking out over something and the other person can clearly see that they are going down the wrong path. You have to laugh.
Starting point is 00:32:46 Because if you don't, like, bruh, if half of the shit you were anxious about, if I stood in Drew's face and I was like, girl, yeah, I'm scared too, like, it would be a wrap. I would fucking kill myself. Girl, that's the realest thing I've ever heard. How did you even think of that? Like I even like, oh my God, how did you know that? Like, what is that? I went on this like insane like doom spiral the other day about like,
Starting point is 00:33:13 blue chew and hymns. And that's what I say every single time is I'm like, and like the craziest thing is it's real. Like it's fucking real. Like I can tell it's real this time. And then if you like battle it a little bit, you kind of go, well, everything I say usually happens. So whatever.
Starting point is 00:33:31 It's never happened once. It's almost like a threat of like you're either on the right side or you'll find out you're wrong later. You're either right or you're the off. Like you either stand with me or against me. But I mean, that's dude, in a moment of true, like now it feels more rare, but we've known each other long enough
Starting point is 00:33:48 that you were there when I was younger and like my anger, like my anger valve was so easy and you just need somebody around who's like not scared to be like girl, you're dumb. Which is, I think that almost kind of also is why friends butt heads a lot or a lot of friend groups have all these, there's like this whole idea of you see a friend group being like, oh my God, I wish I had that. But what you don't take into account is all friend groups.
Starting point is 00:34:14 They really are like families and relationships. You are going to butt heads. You are going to like have to hear things you don't want to hear, but that's what makes friends valuable is you need somebody to look in your face and be like, girl girl the person you have a crush on didn't just fly to the Russian bathhouse in New York they're here and they like you. Did you see Ian's video about the Russian bathhouse? Oh I did I did I did I did. I fucking hate him. Wait, while you find out, let me go to the restroom. Hi, hi. How was your time at the Russian Turkish bath house? It was fun, it was like really chill vibes. It was awesome.
Starting point is 00:34:53 He's so fucking funny, dude. Not much, I kind of just like relaxed and it was a great time in there. Shhh. Holding his soggy bottom. Kai being a, wait Kai's office bottom. Office bottom. Soggy bottom.
Starting point is 00:35:12 He's in New York right now, so we should check his location to see if he's at the bath house. Yeah, he might be at the bath house. I love bath houses though. I really wanna go, so bad. Is it for real like a cruising destination? That's what I was asking when I went to my day friend.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Cause I have so many homies out there. I don't think it really is. Like I think it's like, I think it's become that like online, but in real life, I'm like, I can't imagine like a bath house being that publicly known and gay men still wanting to like go hook up there because the whole point of like bath houses
Starting point is 00:35:43 and cruising culture is that it's secret and it's taboo and it's a fun thing that gay men know about and only we know about, but I don't know. I don't think it actually is. I mean, it kind of goes back to that thing, remember when I was saying how I hate that the internet has given men a scope into women's culture and ideology
Starting point is 00:36:00 because it just makes them smarter at navigating around women. That's how I feel about the idea of like straight dudes finding out about cruising and like making jokes. Straight people making jokes about it. But cruising is literally like also I just love the word cruising. Like such a good word. We're going cruising. Is it because it's like a chill passage with nothing but pleasure and joy? Yes. You know how, okay, this might get annoying, but I'm sure there are some people out there like, I'm doing good, blah, blah, blah, blah,
Starting point is 00:36:30 like I'm sure there's some bitches out there who got diagnosed with OCD later in their life like I did, but it is really funny because it makes me like, think about all the things that I'm like randomly scared of or sure of and like the things that I think about all the time. I remember so vividly when I was like six or seven on the news on seven news in Miami, they started talking about how a restaurant had gotten in trouble because they put hidden
Starting point is 00:36:57 cameras in the bathroom. From that moment on, I have never walked into a bathroom without thinking that I am being watched somehow when I pop a toilet The toilets have the the automatic toilets with the red light. Those are all cameras I think those are cameras and also not only that though, like even if it's a random establishment I think part of the reason I'm so obsessed with bathrooms because if you know me, I love bathrooms I will go I don't just go to the bathroom to use the bathroom. I go into a bathroom and I like I Look around I take in the scenery I don't just go to the bathroom to use the bathroom. I go into a bathroom and I like, I look around,
Starting point is 00:37:25 I take in the scenery. I scope out the scenery. Like bathrooms are very important to me. But without fail, I always think there's a camera in there and I have the crazy person thought where like, if I have a freshly shaved butt and I'm like, cause I don't sit on toilets unless I have the time to put paper out.
Starting point is 00:37:48 So I usually do my squatting. There have literally been times where I have a fresh shaved butt hole and I think to myself, I'm like, honestly, respect. I guess whoever gets to see today literally gets a beautiful shot. And oh my God, I need to tell you about this.
Starting point is 00:37:59 When I was in- Your whispering eye. Yeah, I get really scared. I'm genuinely convinced that there's 18 videos out there of me in the bathroom Because like I probably are I think people put cameras But but that was just to point out that like genuinely since that I have never not thought about that because I'm like, wow There are always cameras in the bathroom They're right. The cameras are in the bathrooms. The cameras are in the walls. The cameras are in your teeth
Starting point is 00:38:26 Actually, so pull your teeth out. You should um, oh it's like what Shane Dawson Getting on to needs to propose The whole camera thing remember when he was like the lidar the what is it the Infrared map that scans your face, which I guess I kind of do believe but also like I just believe everything Thank God I'm not like 70 or something or like even in my 50s with an iPhone because I understand how crazy people happen Things on my phone and whether I believe it or not like it goes in there and it stays in there and then without Without realization And whether I believe it or not, it goes in there and it stays in there and then without realization,
Starting point is 00:39:11 it's in there. Like it's just in there and I'm like, what if they are right? And yeah, I've been seeing people that I'm friends with from the age of 20 up until 32, which I thought was a safe age range to not fall for this. I've been seeing people fall for like AI like crazy on Instagram. No, it's getting scary. Like there was one of this like white lotus praying mantis that randomly so many people sent to me,
Starting point is 00:39:43 which is like crazy. Hey guys, we wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Guys, you're scrolling on the internet, you're on a website, you're about to buy something, kind of dreading having to put in your card information, and then boom, you see the purple shop pay button and you celebrate internally,
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Starting point is 00:41:08 Okay, so Arby's, the food establishment, released nuggets. No. They released nuggets. I really wanna try them. I didn't know they carried chicken. No, no, no, like beef nuggets. Beef nuggets? That's fucking nasty.
Starting point is 00:41:20 And they're like, Are they fried? They're like red. No, they're not fried. Can I see? Well, the thing is. You want them. I want them badly, but where are all the squirrels?
Starting point is 00:41:35 Have you been seeing squirrels around? Literally last episode you saw a squirrel in the tree. Randa! Girl! Girl, damn. I have ADHD as fuck. I just like it. Shiny. Light. Shiny. No that's squirrel meat.
Starting point is 00:42:01 No those are deer ankles. Those are Achilles' tendons. Those are the fucking lips of a cuda bronson that fell off in the summer heat through a sundress, splatted on the ground, picked up off the fucking ground. Are those not beef curtains? Those are labias. Okay, chill with the beef,
Starting point is 00:42:18 because I got some beef too. I know, that's why I'm saying that. Yeah, I have like- Deer ankles. I have like my tips dyed for sure. That's disgusting. It's ombre. Yeah, this on the window is crazy.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I know, they look like raw testicles. It looks like shit. It literally looks like dirt. Why are they black? They're charred. It's because it's to incite the Arby's customer who goes to Arby's for that smoky flavor. I don't like smoky flavors in food unless it's like for barbecue food only.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Like I don't make my meat smoky unless I am partaking in a barbecue-esque feast. I don't want my beef to literally taste like it smoked a cigarette before it got in my mouth. Like that is nasty. Literally. Somebody out there is gonna be like, smoky meat is the best.
Starting point is 00:43:23 You keep your smoky meat to your fucking self. I got enough smoky meat around here because Drew doesn't wash his wiener. Something I've been thinking a lot about recently. I don't care. Oh yeah. I can't see up my skirt. I hope you can't see my balls falling out of my shorts.
Starting point is 00:43:42 I really wanna get on testosterone. I really, if anybody has like a legal testosterone that they can give me like the gel or something like I really wanna get big. My fitness journey is crazy fucking right now y'all. Oh, I didn't tell you this. I'll tell you this later. Girl, what the fuck am I talking about?
Starting point is 00:44:02 I don't know. I thought you were gonna like go in about your health and wellness. Oh, you know what's crazy is, there's this, like you know like, oh, like she's serving. Like, and you know how like Twitter like finds a way to like abstract everything into like the most like, hilarious thought you've ever heard. Are you gonna talk about this turn 19?
Starting point is 00:44:28 Yes, turning 19 in Poland is literally like, legitimately like one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Yeah, it's crazy. Like whoever conceptualized that in their fucking brain is literally a genius. Like, oh, Inna's turning 19 in Poland. It's actually crazy too, because how does that just translate, like it really does.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I guess one person explains it and then it goes on forever because there's definitely people who say that someone turned 19 in Poland and they're just saying it. But it's kind of like the- Read the nachos. It's kind of like the stunts in new selfie. Like I think a lot of people don't know that like the stunts in new selfie like I think a lot of people don't know that like the stunts in new selfie
Starting point is 00:45:05 Is from pop craze. Yeah pop craze talking about what's or not Donatella Versace Or I don't know but it's like they were like Donatella Versace stunts or Madonna stunts in new selfie That fucking American life song me and Josh listened to it on the way home from karaoke last night. Legitimately the worst song I've ever heard. It is so bad. It literally sounds like a throwaway beat like the beat to that song. Literally it's Thomas Jefferson type beat.
Starting point is 00:45:43 It's horrible. It's like a fake type beat. It's horrible. It's like a fake pop craze at it. Madonna stuns a new selfie. Yeah, Modern Life by, or American Life by Madonna is change my name, will it get me far? Go to the latte part. Should I lose some weight? I gonna be a star. I am NOT a Christian Dude she was on it. It was also 2009. I can't even get on her though because like I
Starting point is 00:46:19 Get a double shot date it goes right through my body and you know, I'm satisfied I draw my mini Cooper and I'm feeling super duper yo, turning them trooper and you know I'm satisfied. I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties and I'm checking out their bodies and you know I'm satisfied. What are you talking about? That was AI generated lyrics before AI existed.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Before it was even a thing Madonna was the first person to access the part of her form that could access AI. She has access to quantum computing. I feel like that's a kind of, oh no. I was gonna say it's the kind of song I would write but. I saw someone talking about this and this is like the realest thing ever and they added a couple things to it.
Starting point is 00:46:58 But before you try to come from me, before you tried to read me, make sure you have a hairline, make sure both of your parents are alive. What else did I say? So I'm out. No, no, man, that's all I have. Make sure your parents are alive
Starting point is 00:47:23 and make sure your hairline is in check. Why the parents alive? Because I will go there. No, no, no. That's all I have. Make sure your parents are alive and make sure your hairline is in check. Why the parents alive? Because you will go there. No, no, no, I will go there. I will I will read you back to Filth and I will be like, where are your fucking parents? I do miss the the like quick nature of my brain. From like 17 to 21, because I was like you were so quick. I was like, so 21 because I was like such. You were so quick at the mouth. I was like so, yeah, I was, you couldn't make me shut up and no one could tell me not to say shit,
Starting point is 00:47:52 which I'm grateful for now, but damn, I was just so quick with literally destroying people, which is honestly a superpower that I think every person who grows up in Miami gets. I'm so jealous of people that can like. Be quick. Roast or whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:07 I think it really is just growing up in Miami, you- You have to. You must. You learn or die. You must have a comeback. You must, you must speak immediately! Wait, what's your like- Don't let time pass!
Starting point is 00:48:22 What's your read on me right now, my physical appearance, but don't like not my legs Why not your legs because it's an easy. No, I don't have anything to say about you. You look good. I Genuinely think you look good. I don't know what I would say if I had to say something it would be like to your core Don't go there. Should I go into your core? I'll go to my core. Let's get in your core. No, don't go there but I have abs now I I went to your core. Don't go to my core. Let's get in your core. No, don't go there. I have abs now. I literally have abs now. It's crazy, y'all. I've never had abs in my life.
Starting point is 00:48:52 I've been like fucking eating 150 grams of protein a day. Me rolling my eyes, because like abs are so easy. Like abs, yeah, I have abs. No, I don't. I't have that you literally do have abs I do like the thing is I want to get really strong because I want my arms to be really strong But I don't want them to be like strong without me flexing them the picture of me on the podcast with my body tea Are you asking me if you should body check? Yeah, should I body check? Yeah, do a quick body check.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Yeah, I'll do a quick body check. It's deserved, it's deserved. No, but notice how I got shirtless in karaoke last night. I know, that was insane. Well, no, the thing was is it was because the vibe in there was fucking insane. It was like, I don't remember what song was playing, but it was a weird fucking song.
Starting point is 00:49:39 You were rolling a joint, which I've never seen you roll a joint in my goddamn life. And then people were dissociated and freaking out. And then I was like- Well, it's also because most of our friends at this point are straight edge, essentially, but maybe not by choice. All of us were like, my medication, I have a schedule, I have this, so we can't get fucked up the way we used to.
Starting point is 00:50:03 So now it really is just a room full of people like. Sober minds. Yeah, just like. Sober minds doing karaoke. I had the best time of my life though. No, but I turned that bitch up last night. Yeah, yeah, me too, me too, I was there too. Yeah, like I had that bitch turn,
Starting point is 00:50:18 you missed Icona Pop, Charlie XCX. No, I was there. No, no, no, sorry, my opening Judas. By opening, oh, I was there. Oh, no. No, sorry my opening Judas By opening I missed the opening song. Yeah, I hope fitting number Judas I know that's the annoying thing about us going to karaoke is literally all of our friends are like, uh-huh. You miss this It's real like I take it very serious I was like in the car with Josh like scrolling through like Spotify where I was like, okay What's my three set track list
Starting point is 00:50:45 gonna be? Okay, I'm gonna open with Judas, and then I'm gonna do I Love It, Iconopop. I was trying to do Paper Gangster by Lady Gaga, but of course they wouldn't fucking have that song. No, paper gang, no. To sign away my life to. That's my favorite Gaga song right now.
Starting point is 00:51:02 And then you put on Abracadabra for me and Josiah, and that shut that fucking bitch down. I really like, the thing is I will say not to like pat myself on the back, but I did come in there and I like added a vibe and an aura that was genuinely necessary. Green aura with flies, bitch, you fucking stink like shit. You pulled up stinky.
Starting point is 00:51:21 No, I literally showed up late as fuck, smelling like weed and then pulled a bunch of weed out of my bag and started rolling up. You had like a Cardi B grinder for some reason. For some reason. Okay next, any other questions? I bought it in Miami because when I went to Miami I lost all my weed and then my friend had to give me weed
Starting point is 00:51:39 and then I had to go back to rolling. Rolling loud. I literally think like from a very young age, like it's awesome that we were all taught don't be a tattletale. Like that's the realest shit. Like everyone collectively was like taught mind your own fucking business from a very young age.
Starting point is 00:52:03 And it's like, I honestly respect the shit out of that Like don't be a tattletale if you're a tattletale in adulthood, bitch I will kill you with a fucking gun like get out of my fucking face Like if like oh my god, if someone catches me in a lie, literally just let me embarrass myself Don't call me out. Like you know what? I think it does depend on the lie too because I can't stand say on a bitch, you just will like bud in to be the person who's like right or something, unless it's like, I will say you do share information
Starting point is 00:52:30 sometimes where I'm like, that is like, you are a misinformation spreader. I love spreading misinformation. Yeah, there are definitely some worlds where I'm like, somebody does. Go watch like the first 25 episodes of the podcast. All I said on that fucking podcast was from the genesis that I was here to spread misinformation Like that's a literally all I am is a misinformation machine, and I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:52:51 We're just um we're like the messengers like that's what it feels like is we're the messengers And we're just like it's a game of telephone That's gone really bad because we're too stupid to like actually like because I will learn things and I can hold the information But I will embellish the information with my own thoughts. Like I'm really gonna- Like any facts told to me, I will regurgitate, but I'll just like- Also if something-
Starting point is 00:53:16 I'll like fluff it up. Jish it up, yeah, no, it's a punch up. Like- You gotta like, you have to like reel the people in with that information, you know? For example, like if I spend a certain amount of money at someone's birthday party for their birthday party, like and it's like, oh, like I spent like two hundred dollars. I for real spent two hundred dollars, which I'm telling everybody I spent five hundred dollars. Drew does do that. You do do that.
Starting point is 00:53:40 He'll be like, it's not like, oh, my God, this thing. I just spent like ten thousand dollars and it was like a hundred dollars like like it drives me fucking insane i hate spending money i hate spending money well i um i wouldn't do that i don't lie about those kind of things no no no see what it gets lost in translation no no no no no no you're weird it's so weird i'm not a liar I just am an exaggerator and I'm 95% of the time in character.
Starting point is 00:54:10 I'm doing a bit and I think it's kinda got lost in translation over the past few years where people think that I'm just lying, but no, specifically to you, you think I'm lying. Oh yeah, we just lie, but we lie to each other all the time. But it's like, we both know it's a lie. It's not like a lot It's like getting a bit better at like delivery. So I know I'm like an actor boots. Like I really give actor Really give actor. I mean, no you do you do. Yeah, and that's why we are gonna be in dough. Now you see me, too
Starting point is 00:54:43 That is like actually fucking disgusting like it's disgusting and especially with the fucking sounds it is so fucking gross like it is so nasty why claiming it for my girls why the fuck wait no i want to know why like what the origin of this and why everybody has like a physical reaction okay every time I do it everyone male woman female whatever sounds are fucking insane because like you don't like you don't swallow you like dude don't do that don't do that I'm like what I guess it is the stop it is the closest, stop! It is the closest you could get to like
Starting point is 00:55:26 sticking the middle finger as like an adult. Does that make sense? Cause it's really nasty. It is so nasty. You know what it is too? I've always found, I have always found like impersonating giving head to a girl so gross. Like what do you-
Starting point is 00:55:42 So people can go Like that whole thing and it's funny. That's crazy. See you like- I'm like that looked insane. Well I can get myself head. No you can't. I really can.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Let me see that thought, thought, thought, thought thing. No, but that's funny to people, but like you can't even look at it. So gross, bro. Also I like, why can't even look at it. It's so gross, bro. Also, why is it a thing? Are there women out there who see guys who thirst trap with the whole tongue situation? Are there actually people out there, women and men,
Starting point is 00:56:16 who see someone's tongue doing all that and they're like, fuck? Because I see that and I'm like... I don't know know at that point, just like post yourself actually giving head. But then I guess like the whole thing is your face will be blocked. Disgusting.
Starting point is 00:56:36 I just think it's nasty. It's just so visceral. It's just a thing. Yeah. It's so visceral. And I think most people who do that, especially dead serious are bad at giving head to women Yeah, it's kind of like when the weekend was obsessed with I was getting ahead to women
Starting point is 00:56:52 I think licking that tongue on stage rock hard like that's crazy That is crazy work. Also, like I don't know something like I just it feels like a lie It feels like a lot girl. We didn't even fucking talk about Gaga performing to 2.1 million people. I haven't seen anything of it because I wasn't like on my phone. All I saw was like a screenshot on Instagram or I saw a thing of like crowds like moving.
Starting point is 00:57:17 It's crazy. How many people? 2.1 million. Oh, we could do that. Yeah, we can pull that. Brazil's beautiful. We're gonna pull up to Copacabana. Literally 38 people show up. No we're gonna get kicked out. Yeah my dad got axed in the head at Copacabana. Oh that's sweet. Like legitimately. I know. And it's stuck in his head. You know what's crazy is I've never noticed this little spot right here is a scar
Starting point is 00:57:45 and if you look and touch it, it's a scar, but it literally is from when I grabbed that stalking as a kid and I stabbed myself in the head, but I've never noticed that's why I have a weird fake widow's peak because if you look too closely at my scalp, you can see a small line where hair just doesn't grow, so my hair started growing around.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Ew. Ew, it's so nasty. I should shave my widow's peak, right? And I should shave around my head to give myself the perfect ideal hairline. It's really gross. Stop shaving your widow's peak. I guess everybody gets to do what they want,
Starting point is 00:58:19 but the shaving the widow's peak. The five o'clock shadow widow's peak is a really crazy vibe. You're allowed to. You're really allowed to. Yeah if that's where you want to go it's literally like no if that no it's like if that's what you want like I love you and I'll go there with you would I do it to myself? Absolutely not. You couldn't pay me to do that but I see you and I see that that's what you like. I think widow's peaks are like so cute. I want one. How did people get, like how did,
Starting point is 00:58:46 cause I don't even have a deep widow's peak saying that is crazy. Cause I don't think I technically actually have one. I want one. And growing up, I wanted one so bad when I was like learning like punnet squares and like genetics and shit. I was jealous of the people with widow's peaks
Starting point is 00:59:00 and like the ear lobes. What ear lobes? Like disconnected ear lobes? Are your ears, oh your lobes are like connected. But I think mine are pretty connected too. No, you have detached. Is that like, like- But you can't, you want what you can't have
Starting point is 00:59:14 and I wanted- I've never thought about my ears, I can't lie. Like my ears have never been like, oh I wish I had better ears. Like, but I know some people- I mean, you should be thinking about them babe. Are they big? They're nasty. I feel like I have one pointy ear and I I mean, you should be thinking about them, babe. Are they big? They're nasty.
Starting point is 00:59:25 I feel like I have one pointy ear. And I- No, you have such cute ears. You have such proportionate ears. In middle school one time, I don't know which ear is pointy, but one time somebody was like, you have such an elf ear on that side of your head.
Starting point is 00:59:39 And that was the only time I thought about my ear and I did cover my earlobe. So I was like- Oh, insecurity is born. No, I'm not an elf. Insecurity is born. Because also I was really short. I think pointy ears are cute. So it felt kind of like they were calling me like a hobbit from Lord of the Rings. I genuinely considered getting my ears cut and then sewed into being pointy for like 30 minutes. That's okay. When I was like 16 I'm not even joking. Oh well well, I also consider I considered splitting my time
Starting point is 01:00:05 I wanted a split I wanted a split time because seeing people like try with it Drinks at the same time Could you imagine what that would do to your brain like cutting your tongue in half and putting like coffee in one side and then Coca-Cola and the other and then like half of your brain tastes coffee and half of your brain tastes coke like could you imagine? What that fucking feels like I feel like it would short-cir half of your brain tastes coke. Like, could you imagine what that fucking feels like? I feel like it would short circuit your brain. I guess you could literally just put a drop of coke. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:33 You wouldn't have to like go the extra way. Yeah, I was a bit obsessed with body mods when I was a teenager. Like there was a second where I really like it. I feel like for a lot of people who actually go into it, I never went there because my dad was so anti-piercings and all those things. Like my dad didn't even like that I dyed my hair a lot.
Starting point is 01:00:51 That was a huge point of like beef between us. I wanted to say a better word, but I can't be like contend, continge, oop, beef. That was our beef growing up. And so then I had fake gauges. Beef that was our beef growing up. Um, and So then I had fake gauges I had those earrings from Hot Topic that were like the fake gauges and I really wanted to stretch my ears now I'm glad he didn't let me because I don't think I would be able to like rock stretched ears So I think I would have like moved past it, but he wouldn't let me do that
Starting point is 01:01:20 I really wanted like an industrial bar. I wanted piercings all down my ear. I wanted a nose piercing. I really wanted an eyebrow piercing. At one point I was like really thinking about like the- Oh, nose bridge. Nose bridge, but my dad was just so anti all of that because for him that means you're a fucking bruja and you're evil and you're like going to hell and you're gonna burn
Starting point is 01:01:39 and like also bring demon crats to the family. Yeah. So that wasn't a vibe, but I wish I did. I wanted it so bad, but I did want to split tongue because I like, damn, but to me that just sounded like a lit party trick. I really wanted like an RFID chip put into my palm right here so you could scan it.
Starting point is 01:02:00 And like I've seen people like- Do people still do that? Cause why at certain stores it's like put your hand here. That's I think just biometric reading at the airport and shit. That's not like chips in your hand, but- I met her at Whole Foods when it's like you're in Amazon. That's just biometric, like scanning your palm I think.
Starting point is 01:02:17 But I'm not 100% sure cause I love to spread misinformation. Well I'm gonna do kind of the power of makeup situation like Nikkie tutorials, except change the lines on my hand and then see if the biometrics can pick me up. Girl, there's no stopping this fucking palm. There's no changing that. Yeah, you do have like the lines,
Starting point is 01:02:34 like, I mean, their story's great. I've got the lines of a mastermind. I have just like the softest, nicest hands ever, like the ememian person. Wait, let me see your palm. nicest hands ever, like the MME in person. Okay, both of our lines go in between here. This means we're selfless. We give too much of ourselves to people. I'm not kidding.
Starting point is 01:02:59 I'm sure I know a lot of selfish bitches. No, selfless. No, but I'm saying I think I might know a lot of selfish bitches with that, selfless. Or I said, no, but I'm saying I think I might know a lot of selfish bitches with that money. They're going against their beaten path. No, there are too many selfish people in this world. I do think being selfish is so important, but also I think being selfish is important
Starting point is 01:03:17 for anxious people who care more about the people around them because they don't see any value in themselves, which is like sadly me and a lot of people I know. I agree to a certain extent, but like, there are people that take the selfishness to an extreme. Oh, well, yeah, that's what gives like the word or the idea of selfish, such a bad taste in your mouth.
Starting point is 01:03:42 But I remember when I first started going to therapy, that was a huge thing with my therapist, is her kind of reiterating to me time and time again that the idea to be selfish is coded in negativity, but being selfish is such a key component of living your life and moving forward and checking with yourself. And she always talked about how to her, the idea of being selfish is less about being greedy or being uncaring to others or constantly putting yourself first above others as much as it is just like you are all you have. So to make sure that every movement you go
Starting point is 01:04:24 through, it's with the selfish intent that like, this is what I want, like this is what I'm feeling, whatever, because a lot of people aren't taught to be selfish. I think especially like women and gay dudes. Are you gay? I'm gay. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 01:04:41 Oh, there go my chances. I would never have sex with you. Well that's funny, because I would never have sex with you. Your body disgusts me. The idea of your body makes me quiver with you. Shake in anger. Well, shit.
Starting point is 01:05:01 That was the episode. I'm so sore from fucking working out four days a week. Oh my God. And guess what? I'm going to the gym today. My wrist and jaw hurts because I was hanging out with your mom last night. It's like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Why would your jaw hurt? She had a stain on her leg and it was ketchup and I was trying to get it off but I used my um my like uh my mouth. Eww. I will my nevermind I was gonna go real low. Won't do that to you. Um well guys thank you so much for listening to this episode. So, won't do that to you. Well guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode, my video.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Wait, how about we do Drew Siott? Oh. Yeah. This is my impression of a lesbian dropping her keys. Oops, I dropped my keys. Also, I love eating pussy. I believe when lesbians talk about giving giving head because I mean shit there ain't much else to do there's plenty of other shit to do but like plenty of other fish to fry you
Starting point is 01:06:13 can't move the car without starting it. What is the difference between Kava and kratom? Kratom is evil, sinister, dark, sick, twisted. Don't ever touch it in your life. It is an opiate analog and it, or not really, but it attaches to the same receptors in your brains that opiates do. Kava is like similar to Xanax in the way that it calms your anxieties, but it makes your mouth really numb
Starting point is 01:06:47 and it feels fucking weird. There's a bunch of Kava bars in Miami. It's a huge thing. Kava is like more chill. And I think there are like, I mean- There's Kratom bars in Miami too. Yeah, there's like cultural roots in both Kratom and Kava. Yeah, I looked it up when I saw the Kava bar
Starting point is 01:07:03 and I was like, holy shit, Kava is a thing, but yeah, it is like a huge like cultural thing. I hate Samoan. But no, it's like drinking beer without all the bad effects of alcohol. Oh, there's Kava bars here. I'm sure there's probably Kratom bars here too, but that shit is so evil.
Starting point is 01:07:24 And like, it's so sad watching these influencer white girls accidentally get addicted to these feel good shots and then not realize that they're literally about to go through. Oh, the Kratom ones that were all over the place? If you see those blue shots that say feel good on them and they look like they're a supplement that you just take at night and it's like, oh, I'm gonna drink,
Starting point is 01:07:45 or I'm not gonna drink tonight, but I'm gonna take this and feel fine, you will get addicted to them. Your body will develop a dependency to them and you will go through withdrawals very similar to that of fucking heroin. So just be careful, just be careful. I'm not telling you don't do it, but just tread lightly.
Starting point is 01:08:08 But Calvis chill. I think so. I haven't really looked much. I'm pretty sure there's so many bars. But I thought when I saw the Calvo bar, I thought of Kratom, because I always mix those up. And I was like, holy shit.
Starting point is 01:08:20 People are just going and getting Kratom drinks. No, they do that. No, that's what my home girl was telling me. She was like, oh, at one of the Cal getting kratom drinks. No, they do that. No, that's what my home girl was telling me. She was like, oh, at one of the kava bars she goes to in Miami, they do offer kratom drinks as well. So there's like the regular kava drinks that like everyone is used to, or you can add kratom to your drinks.
Starting point is 01:08:37 And she was talking to me about that. And I was like, please don't put kratom in your drink. I mean, shit. Please don't put kreatum in your drink. Mm-hmm. I mean, shit. I should probably stop taking kreatum every day, huh? Yeah, exactly. Fuck! I can't, it makes me feel so good. My media is Driving Online the Breeders,
Starting point is 01:09:02 SMS, Miley Cyrus, Margaret, Lana Del Rey, and then, oh, what was that song? Paper Gangster, Lady Gaga, and I still haven't started the rehearsal, but literally everyone in my life is saying that the third episode of the rehearsal is like one of the greatest pieces of television.
Starting point is 01:09:29 You know it's all fake and it's scripted this year. The rehearsal? Wow. I'm lying, I don't know. I heard shit about it, bro. Mine is Welcome to Hollywood by Beyonce. The B-Day album is my favorite album. I'm sorry if you want to fight about it I don't want to hear it alone again by Gilbert O. Sullivan, which is what I did at karaoke and
Starting point is 01:09:53 The saddest song ever fucking created. I've heard that song a million times But reading the lyrics was really destable, but I know it was a crazy vibe I came into karaoke and immediately did Alone Again after that one, yeah. Alone Again, naturally. Yamaha, the fast edit by Radio Madness on SoundCloud, that is a song Mason sent me that's like from The Dream, who's like a Miami classic, but I've never heard that one, and it sped up is so good,
Starting point is 01:10:19 and it's all I've been listening to. Oh yeah. You love the 80s. And yeah, that's my media. Thank you guys so much for watching. Hopefully I'll be alive next week. Hopefully I'm not alive next week. AHHHHH

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