Emergency Intercom - big oiled up twerking b00ty compilation

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

yes every aspect of life is hell and pain but that is only bad if you think hell is bad and pain is bad. Enya spirals after finding out her car has an antenna and Drew talks about oiled up tw*rking b*oty compilations for 20 minutes straight  Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/emergency. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And if I was, for instance, running and listening to the podcast, I would be so confused and disoriented why you sounded like that. Okay, like, you're you're being like so oppy right now guys i have 40 ops it's gotten up to 40 okay i'll like name like the prominent ones that you might know inya orion kai all three ops luna is my biggest fucking op right now mind you if you are unaware that is an infant who is not even one years old she's opting so fucking hard right now like she won't smile at me anymore okay i almost just was like oh my god luna's gonna turn one soon she doesn't turn one until like february yeah so it's

far also we we had like six or seven shots of tequila oh my god oh my head is already hurting i'm gonna wake up at 5 p.m so fucked up so if i get naked on the pocket when i drink tequila. Oh, my God. Oh, my head is already hurting. I'm going to wake up at 5 p.m. so fucked up. So if I get naked on the podcast. When I drink tequila, I get naked. Let's just say that. I'll get really naked for you guys. It's actually insane. I haven't seen you touch alcohol in so long.

Like, I mean, I saw you have a drink, but I don't even think you finished it. You faked it out. You just, like, didn't want to be left out at Orion's birthday party. I don't fuck think you finished it. You faked it out. You just like didn't want to be left out at a Ryan's birthday party. I don't fuck with that shit anymore. No, I had like half of a shot at a Ryan's birthday party because I was like, I'm going to be crazy. And it gave me a headache immediately. Yeah, because it's poison. It is literally poisoning your body.

It is the devil. The world is ending on September 23rd, 2023. Drew like believes this by the way anytime i've spoken to him about something oh actually this is a good leeway of you and how you navigate emotional interactions which you've gotten better with over time you are a good person to talk to about like i'm like emotionally tumultuous event also me saying that word i heard someone the other day say at a cafe to a friend and the friend goes, OK, what the fuck does that mean? And they didn't know what tumultuous meant.

And the friend was like, oh, it's like, oh, wow. Like she was like, she was like, it's I mean, you can't use context clues. And then they just like went back and forth over it. And she was like, it just was like, you know, like really hard. Like you're busy, but like something's like really weighing down on you. But like, like she just started describing and I was like, that's like not the best definition to give your friend. But yeah, it's like literally just like hard times. But hard times.

Gonna make you laugh and run and even cry. Hard times. Whoa, we hit that last one together. I've been getting good at harmonizing because in the midnight mcdonald's there's that part when it was uh that part in the video where you are drunk what's wrong with you um but drew while i was talking to him about something that's going on in my life he goes it's okay because the world's going to end on the 23rd so you should just do whatever and he has said that to me four times this past week.

Yeah, he said that to me. What happens on the 23rd? Okay, it's essentially the rapture. It's like everyone at midnight on the 22nd is going to hear a loud clap, a loud boom. It's going to echo and reverberate through everyone's ears. I know what's clapping. This is weird.

Yeah, it's Jesus Christ twerking. It's his fat fucking stinky butt. Jesus Christ is going to come down to earth, oil up his ass and clap in front of everybody. Okay, we need more oiled up twerk compilations on my timeline. I've been saying that. We need oiled up twerking compilations bad. I've been fiending for it.

But yeah, Jesus is going gonna come down and rapture all of us and yeah the world is gonna end what does rapture even mean like that's like he's gonna take us back yeah the praying souls but you're okay if you're not a religious person or you don't practice religion you're good like don't forget jesus loves every single one of you. Drew is actually scared. Drew's a little scared. No, no, no, no. Okay, like, let me correct this. I see it on my feed and I'm like, okay, like, you're being absolutely insane.

And then they'll, like, run through all of the predictive programming of September 23rd through all of the fucking shows, like, and movies and all the shit that we've been seeing and fucking meteors hitting the earth, world ending, war starting, like all that shit. And all the movies we watch happens on September 23rd, 2023. Well, when I see that, I'm like, huh, that's actually really curious and a weird coincidence. But then I remember that none of that's real and we're all gonna be okay.

But then the other night I was sitting in my bed and I had just like a lot of anxiety and I was doom scrolling and I was scrolling and one of them came up on my feet and it was like really, really eerie. And I was like, oh wait, what if this shit is real? And I just started like thinking about it in my head, like processing like what life would be like

if that shit did actually happen. But like, it's not going to, but it did freak me out for half a second true what are you talking about like literally you're like one of them came up on my feed what we don't know what you're talking oiled up twerk compilation oh so all these messages have been hidden in twerk compilation yes oh okay um wow yeah um this is like when if because blade runner set in 2019 this would be the equivalent of people being like 2019 like was something big is gonna happen but i guess like blade runner was at the end of the world they just for some reason thought in 30 years

the world would look like blade runner yeah i mean I mean, I bet it will in 20 years. Or I guess in like 40 years. Wait. Oh, yeah. What's the number? Is it 2040? 923. Well, there's 2049.

There's Blade Runner 2049. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. But the original Blade Runner was set in 2019. I believe that. But I think it was made in like the 80s. Oh, yeah.

So it kind of like. I can fix that. I can fix that. I can fix that. Is that like from Blade Runner? Touch me. Yeah, it was made in 1982. So they thought that in 2019

the world would look like that. But what we had was iPhones and Charli D'Amelio. Guys, there's going to be got close. I love Charlie. There's going to be a fast profit for like three years after who like leads the civilization out of this slump, but it's actually the Antichrist. So like

watch out for the Elon Musks and the Mark Zuckerbergs of the world. Like they're going to lead us out of what? The rapture. The hard times. It's going to be like World War 3. Wait, the rapture is hard times or it's good times? Hard times. It's going to be okay because we're all going to get taken three wait so wait the rapture is hard times or it's good times it's gonna be okay because we're all gonna get taken up isn't the rapture is good if you've been good and you get to go to heaven right when i imagine the rapture everybody's good you know what i imagine like you know outside of football games when people who didn't get tickets to stand

outside with their pickup trucks like cooking and like what is that called uh tailgate i imagine the rapture looks like a tailgate does that make sense like that's kind of like what the vibe is for me like everybody stands outside and starts like a cookout or like a barbecue and they're like god's coming like god's coming that's kind of the vibe right i would get fucked up for like the arrival of jesus like i wouldn't want to be sober that would that would be really traumatizing because also me and orion have talked about that and what does that look like is like when jesus comes back is he like cloned a million times over so he shows up at everyone's doors like a jehovah witness or does he just like fall from the sky but he would have to be so big for everyone around the earth to see him like people on the other side of the earth

like what some people are seeing the back of his head some people are seeing his bulge like how like like like have you ever thought about that like how does he come like where is he projected in the sky like it's an omnipresent simulation that we all see separately it's not going to be physical beings oh i just made that up i was gonna say because then i would just feel like i was literally hallucinating i'd be like oh here it comes like i'm having a break it's finally happening but have y'all thought about that? Like, what does he like? Yeah. I always imagined it for whatever reason, like in the middle of America. Yeah.

Every alien invasion ever is in the middle of. I'm like, oh, yeah. Jesus will arrive in Iowa. Yeah. It's literally like the Book of Mormon when they're like, like every great religious thing has ever that's ever happened was in America right like we saw it here

like where else would it be that is kind of crazy literally every alien attack happens in America like we can't even fathom it happening

somewhere else because we're like they would have no idea how to handle that we on the other hand we got it covered it's gonna drop down in Seattle

like it has to be here it's also only major cities as if the aliens would be like okay we need to go to miami like we need to go to miami we need to see oiled up booties twerking in miami that's what we okay you know how they sent that gold disc to outer space we need to re-send it back out that like if a alien finds it's like transmuting like radio signals like playing music whatever if they find it they can scan it and see like a video of like it's basically a qr code in space they see like a video earth we need to put all the twerking booty compilations we need to put

that but we also need to put only our greatest freaks on it though we need to put like bjork and like daniel larson but like do you see what i'm saying like we get we should put like artists We need to put Bjork and Rhymes. Daniel Larson. Yeah, Daniel Larson. But do you see what I'm saying? We should put artists on it that make the weirdest shit ever so that if there's a chance, if aliens are real, they're like, damn, they are mad weird. We're not going there. We are not going there. They probably already look at us and think that.

That's why they're not here. Oh, those little fucking critters that Mexico revealed as aliens, those were actually cake. They cut into them and they were actually cake. Yeah, I was going to say, where was that? Did you send that to the group chat? Yeah, yeah. They were actually cake, which we found out,

which is very weird. No, for like half a second, I was like, I want to believe, so i'm going to believe even though i didn't believe but like girl like that is not real those aren't real like those aren't wait play the music with it oh yeah i've been taping my mouth to go to sleep at night yeah the little aliens aren't real also like them like putting them in the box with some dirt at the bottom it's literally like kids getting caught in a lie and then being like oh like dude if you put the dirt like okay okay think about

this they need the dirt so like if anybody asks like if they were in there without the dirt that we found them in it'd be like oh my god like why why are they like so clean cut and fresh like they need the dirt like why did they put the dirt under the alien in the box and whose idea was that who was like oh and then we're gonna scoop a little bit of the dirt under them so it looks like we just found them like in the dirt also the dude who spearheaded like the whole reveal also like the president of mexico literally believes in gnomes and has posted on his facebook page pictures of gnomes right yeah it's literally like it's like a mexican superstition but he goes hard yeah he believes it so i'm like in the dude that spearheaded the whole reveal is like a notorious like ufo grifter

so like none of that shit is real and it's funny but like their story was straight like they got it down pat like the diatomaceous algae like covering them and like solidifying over a thousand years ago but like yeah fucking right yeah fucking right i think they ran it through an mri or something and metal plates yeah there's metal plates and bones but it's all just bones from other animals yeah the llama school yeah yeah i saw also that like the metal plate it's like a metal that like we use which this was this is when i didn't believe because i was like this is too on the nose and this is like too sci-fi but it's like there's like a metal plate in its chest and it's like this alloy that like we use in our satellites and they're like in

furring that these aliens have satellites and that's how they communicate in their chest. But I want to see the butthole. Like I want to see the alien butthole. I'm not kidding. I was just thinking I was like why don't any aliens have tits? Well we need to freaking put them in. Like we need to give them tits. Yeah. Like I want to see an alien with some big

fucking boobs. An oiled up booty. Yeah and they live in space so like you know those tits are sitting perky so we need to see yeah we need i need a video of an alien running in space yeah we can get that i just don't believe in aliens anyway so i'm like y'all are literally insane like that's what happens when there's like nothing happening is there like what should we talk about aliens oh but i was saying i was saying to drew that it's becoming like a power play game like i think every country is gonna start yeah it's literally like the every country is gonna start using like their findings of aliens as like a power play like oh

you think you have aliens we've had aliens forever but we just didn't want to show y'all because y'all were gonna get scared yeah and like i think every country is gonna start being like actually we found something too like i did i did too like i have that too like it's literally kids at school when they show off like good stationery it's like well i have that too like i mean like that's not even like to the market like that's why their review was so shitty was because they were first to the market but yeah it's the space race 2.0 people are trying to like get on on an early like profit but also um there was an airplane that disappeared another one a fighter wait a new one really it was a fighter jet is it on camera no but um oh yeah we never showed any of the video of the malaysia flight disappearing like they have satellite footage that leaked of it and it

actually like like you're talking about with the orbs yeah yeah i like take everything with a grain of salt because like technology has gotten really crazy but i had seen that video floating around like a few years ago two years ago or something and i just wrote it off but then like the more i looked at it i was like this like looks real and this would be really hard to create but like i i don't believe any alien reveal videos like none of them they're all bullshit they're all fake because i could literally do it on blender in my bedroom like i literally could figure it out like y'all are all lying um and corridor digital did one but anyways a fighter jet disappeared and the united states was like begging the population to

go find this jet for them like no like don't you have like gps's inside of that shit or something like why okay sorry i love sorry i'm like my name is drew you need to show me that video because you can't bring up something about a plane and like i i need to see it like i need to see it yeah also this thumbnail is cracking me up because like why am i like i wish this is what it was that would be like it was just like underwater just like fully in peace screenshot that um what would I look up for that, Kai? Shit like this, like, is crazy, though, because, like, this YouTube video using this thumbnail is so gnarly because it, I mean, this is like any video that has to do with people who literally lost their lives shit like that cracks me up because i'm like why would you even edit this photo and have humans standing around the wheel like insinuating that like they're it's just like fully in like tact somewhere like so apparently it's like satellite footage, which we do have satellite, like in the fucking 60s.

This is what freaks me out is like the technology we had in the 60s, like we could take pictures from outer space of like a coffee cup in France, like essentially like, and that was like years and years and years ago, like they have crazier shit, like, and that's T.

So this would be hard to fake. You think so? Yeah. Like, see, that's where it gets funky. But then I'm like, oh, but they're supposed to be aliens and moving at, like, warp speed. And then this is the part that gets me every time where I'm like, crosses my suspension of disbelief. I don't think it happened yet. Oh, yeah, that.

Bitch, if one of my family members was on that damn plane and people were still talking about it like this, I'd be like, let it go. Y'all made the Netflix show. You do the videos you do the youtube like leave my family alone dude that is so insane yeah i don't know that i believe that but also like i understand it's kind of like with religion but not to bring it back to religion but like things like that is i think humans have a hard time like grieving and understand catastrophe so it's easier to theorize all the different ways it could have gone down because it makes it easier especially when it's an inexplainable when you don't have a conclusion your mind can only go so far and that's what all science is and that's why science isn't real i've thought about i feel like since there isn't, there's not nearly as much religion now, obviously, as there has been throughout all of human history.

Whenever I see a video like that, there's some mechanism in my brain that's like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, the plane disappeared in a wormhole. Yeah, exactly. And it's just, I feel like it's that part of my brain that like desperately wants... To put the blame somewhere to explain something. Exactly.

I want to believe in like a higher power or something. Why is that like part of the human experience is like needing like a higher power obviously it's because like life is fucking suffering and like every every aspect of life is hell and pain but like that's obviously why we have beauty like not whatever like that's why there is love but like why do we need to put the blame somewhere is it like fucking primal brain syndrome or something i think it's like beyond that it's like we genuinely as animals shouldn't have the capacity to think that deeply yeah and it's it's like um like a protection like instinct it's like an instinct to be like it's literally just like oh oh my god that is so

scary but god's here hi god literally yeah like build that wall like build the wall wait what what does that have to do with like the barrier in your brain oh you know that's that has a different connotation yeah i wouldn't say that that is insane he literally like freaking fucking freaking libtards he literally took the the he took the term building a wall and made it bad like like well it's just like the lgbt taking the rainbow and making it bad i'm emotionally like cut off right now so i just like had to build the wall i just had to build the wall back up i had to build the wall between they're all autistic they're all autistic for like becoming so hyper obsessed with that's their

special interest is building that damn wall like let's talk about that you're so stupid should we talk about the alphabet mafia gay people yeah okay why do you call them that because they're all comprised of killers okay first i took the rainbow then they took the letters lgbt and q like what next what if i wanted to abbreviate those myself like what if i wanted that abbreviation also the new uh religion for our generation is literally just the bitches who believe in like astrology so badly like it's literally like that's the new religion that's why so many of us aren't religious and it's because sacred geometry and an oiled up twerk compilation no that's always been a thing but it has like completely become extremely prevalent like it's completely replaced like our parents that was our family members who are religious like i have religious family members

who will go on facebook live and watch like a pastor do like a sermon and like talk about religion but on tiktok there's literally like people who are constantly doing tarot card readings they're constantly like going through like the astrologies like things for the week and all that stuff and it's literally the same thing like you're tuning in like hoping that you hear a message that relays to you so you can find comfort in a situation you're going through and that's what people who like sit through sermons are doing they're waiting for like the pastor to say something like everything's going to be okay that thing that you're going through that like that money that you need need to pay that bill that like friend that you're hoping to hear from that person who's sick in your life will be okay like you're literally just listening

out for those things that you need to hear for comfort and you sit okay yeah which is like necessary it's literally a necessity for like everybody and you sit okay yeah which is like necessary it's literally a necessity for like everybody but that's what astrology is is like you sit in because you're like your crush will text you back your postmates will get there in 10 minutes me trying to think of like hard things you go through your postman problems like your postmates will not will not be late will fry your brain like i swear just give it time your wax pen um will get hot enough that some of the the residue will melt down and you will have one last hit of your pen your girl will be bisexual she will perform cunnilingus on another woman in front of you like i swear it's gonna be okay autofillatio y'all ever heard of that

yeah i've heard the term but isn't it just like you giving yourself head or why is there a picture of taylor swift buff on your phone well i was gonna ask if this is if y'all think this is real um i actually that's a good i don't know i can't tell oh yeah that looks real i could see after somebody going on a tour that long just coming that bit. Bro, she got buff. Yeah. She cut really hard. She got built.

It's actually honestly really impressive that you can do that on tour while diving into a pool. That's all she's doing. All she's doing is swimming? Mm-hmm. Oh. That's what I heard. Well, that's crazy because I've been swimming in your mom's coochie

because she gets so wet and i'm not that buff well oh i just can i say it but we might have to bleep it but it's like really horrifying yeah but it's about your mom okay i got no i don't even want to say it it's so dark it's really dark I don't care um okay well uh your mom got so wet I made your mom so wet that she turned into mud like no that's good that's good that's good that's dark

we have to leave that in that's really funny I thought you were going to say you got her so wet you rehydrated her and she's back to life now. I reanimated your mother. You reanimated her. What's up, Spotify? This is Javi. I remember this one time we were on tour.

We didn't have any guitar picks and we didn't have time to go to the store. So we placed an order on Prime and it got there the next day ready for the show. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. Okay, well, should we move on to tipping tipping yeah i don't know we had a tipping we no we had a conversation cow tipping well yeah i mean he's from texas yeah um no we um had a conversation about tipping and we were like let's write it down and i just wrote down that like, when we tip, we make sure, like if it's a jar in front,

like I'll wait there for five minutes. Oh yeah, I'm gonna wait. I need them to see that. I'm gonna put that in there in front of y'all. Have you ever had it where they miss it? Dude, yes,

and I'll like kind of like linger my hand. No, I'm reaching back in there and pulling it out. And I'm taking a few bills with me. And I'm just gonna make my tip look extremely generous. I literally had that at the dispensary even though the girl who was checking me out was literally so mean to me.

But I think I like to be clear I tip all the time. My mom is a waitress. I'm a big tipper. Why do girls and especially people who perform sexual acts. I mean I tip well. Why do women be mean to women? Like literally like y'all are fighting the same battle. Oh, my God.

Wow. Why is the sexual revolution failed? Why do women be mean to women? Wow. It's like I was channeling. I was channeling. Would you wear? Nothing came good from being gay or whatever he said.

Oh, wait. But nothing good. Oh, wait. He says it fucked up. Wait. You know what we're talking about? from being gay nothing came good like yeah he says some shit like that like he thought he was fucking tearing but he's just literally oh he says anything good like he thought he hey people does not produce anything good gay people gay people do produce wait we need to finish this oh wait this is a quote like i need literally i need

the full thing literally oh like you agree for sure no with kai but yeah should me and kai okay and you actually stay quiet real quick because me and Kai need to have a conversation. What the fuck? And if you butt in, like, I'm actually going to get really fucking pissed. But has the sexual revolution failed for women? Oh, yeah, we should get into that. Oh, my God. Yeah, and, you know, we're just, we're trying to figure this out.

I'm on the side of no. Oh. Yeah, I mean, sorry. Like, porn is not that bad. But, like, I mean, okay, I'm so sorry, but you spent the whole episode asking for more oiled up twerking booties and then exactly that's why it hasn't failed like until you see that yeah once once like my feet is all oiled up twerking booties then it has failed

but it's like one every three videos it's like hella annoying you can't just scroll yeah it hurts my fucking finger i've always thought about how much i scroll a day like i have to like swipe up like i'm not kidding a mile a day like it's really horrifying you know what it was is the iphones were made for pro fingering girls because you get like such good dexterity out of your fingers and then you become extremely like well-rounded in terms of fingering actually a fascinating theory yeah what the hell were we talking about until we were talking about gay does not produce anything good i literally don't know oh tipping um oh my god actually that just reminded me in high school once the first time i ever went to

a restaurant alone with my friends the waiter was literally lying bro okay i was i'm gonna be i was making that story up and i don't know where it was going um but the first time i ever went to a restaurant alone with my friends it was tgi fridays it was me and three of my friends we walked in and the waiter immediately was not fucking with us we weren't being rowdy we were like practicing like being like little adults so we were like can we get a table for four please like we were just like being nice but we sat down and he literally immediately before we even started ordering goes i don't even know why i'm serving you guys because i know you're not gonna tip me and starts like cleaning in front of us how old was he he easily we were like 15 16 he probably was like 26 oh my god i would say if he's like 18

that's understandable no he was like a grown-ass man like he like had like the facial hair of somebody who like when he has when he's 30 it's gonna fill in all the way but he was like 25 26 like trying out facial hair for the first time um and we were like what and then he walks away and comes back with the menu and we're going to order. And he literally is like, everything we're doing, he's like, I just can't fucking believe I got left with this table.

Like to us. We literally, but we didn't eat there. We just got up and we were like, bitch, fuck you. I hope you fucking die. And then we all just like got up and walked out, but we were like 15, 16. So I can't be held accountable for that reaction. Now I would have been like,

dude, I swear I'm gonna tip you just please serve me. No, that's not that's like when I was like, 13, probably. And it was like, I was I was a pretty big kid. And I was going trick or treating. And we got to this one house. And I was so excited. I was like, Oh, this is like, one of my final years of trick or treating. like i'm already like pushing it like whatever i got to this house and they like looked me and my sister and our two friends up and down and they were like you're a little too big to be doing this aren't you and literally just didn't give us candy and it scar i literally did not fucking trick-or-treat ever again after that day it was so scarring and my this will have to believe nah i'll tell y'all later but like there's more to this story because like they knew my parents in some capacity and like my mom and dad went like fucking mama and papa bear mode on them

but like literally so easy but they're both dead now so i won oh my god i did hello i'm a champion did you kill them i know because that was sounds like it was like a revenge why would you ask me dude what's gonna ruin our friendship is when i post revenge porn of you i think that's gonna be the final straw wait how do you even have that you know how i have these glasses but then then my other glasses? Yeah. My other glasses are the Ray Ban Snapchat story glasses. And I've been recording when we have sex. Don't fucking do that, bro. Drew, that's on you.

You should have wondered why she had sunglasses on. I thought she thought I was ugly. Well, I lied to him and told him that I had just gotten my retinas scanned and I'm sensitive to light. Your retinas scanned? I can't say why. Well, please don't post revenge porn of me. I'm not going to do it now. It's just

next time you piss me off, think about it. Next time I'm rude to you and you want to confront me about it, think about what I have on you. Well, let's think about what I have on you. Remember, for the last 37 nights, I've been oiling up your booty and making you twerk and taking videos of it and i thought those were for you because you just don't find

them on instagram this is for the private spank bank nope i've started an only fans for you if we live together for the next 10 years it's literally gonna get there not in a sexual way but we're gonna be so goddamn fucking bored oh my god someone asked last week like what intrus what's like my most common intrusive thought and for the last week this is crazy and it like there is nothing behind this other than i think it would be so fucking funny and partially because like i do forget sometimes but after i pee like i'll just like go wash my hands with my wiener like sticking outside of my shorts i can not pull up my pants all the way and i always have the thought to walk out here and like just expose myself to y'all and be like oh fucking like say i forgot it like we're almost there we're

almost yeah we're almost there because i've literally done it with my butt crack and like half my fucking bush yeah but you see me naked and i'll but i'll do it to orion and drew like i'll walk out with my pants literally so low and my fucking coochie is half out. And I'm like, this is, I think, the new swag for 2024. And it's fucking crazy. And they're like, no, dude, that's not a swag. And I'm like, oh, but look at the back. And, like, my whole ass crack is out.

Yeah, and what's fucked up is, like, when I start jerking off, like, when she's doing that, like, I'm the bad guy. Like, you can't put feet in front of a man and I expect him not to jerk off. Oh, feet versus furries okay listen to this i have one more thing to add on to the tipping conversation before we move on but it's kind of a little tangent and i just want to hear your reaction to this but this mom took like a birthday party full of kids like i think like it was like 17 kids or something like that to the sugar factory i saw and okay so you already know but basically what happened was um the sugar factory is notorious

for like their alcoholic drinks and they were just serving alcoholic drinks to these children and they all got drunk and they were all like passed out like hella fucked up and i just like i'm sorry but that i would tip oh okay that's what you're asking is like would i tip or not yeah i would tip because i'm like cool the kids are asleep i'm gonna throw them in the van and take them home the mom was pissed yeah imagine like taking your kids also you're supposed to protect them it's like embarrassing because she was the adult supervisor of a bunch of other kids that weren't her kids so it's literally the worst thing ever like imagine having to call your home girl and being like hey so jesse's i'm gonna drop jesse off at home but you're gonna notice a

difference in her attitude she will be slurring and falling over the all over the place and it is because she got drunk at sugar factory we got her fucked up a sugar factory like i would be so humiliated to have to make that call i would honestly just lie and be like dude your daughter's fucking crazy she took a xanax like yeah you need to get that thing under control but i would also just sue the fuck out of sugar factory i think they might have yeah we're in the process that's one. How was the waiter literally looking at that table and be like, oh yeah, they want alcoholic drinks, right? I think they like switched them out or something.

There was like more to the story, but like when the waiter found out like they were getting served alcoholic beverages, they like grabbed them all away from them immediately and like ran to the back and like tried to correct the situation. But I don't think it was fully the waiter's fault. Oh my God, that is so insane.

But that's what you get for going to Sugar Factory. I know. I can't believe people are still going to Sugar Factory. I've never been, and I really want to go. Should we go? But oh, we've actually thought about going. But we literally, on the podcast, actually have looked up Sugar Factory. But all the ones in LA are closed.

You would have to go to Las Vegas. But Sugar Factory is having a comeback because I keep seeing it all over the place. So maybe they'll reopen the ones in LA. I have a note in my podcast notes that I just looked at and I was like trying so hard to figure out what I meant by this. Iced oat milk, cortado, simple syrup, Asian chicken salad. But when we went to Jones,

I wrote it down in the podcast notes and I was like, fuck dude, like what am I trying to say here? It's just my order his order um well this is a conversation me and drew started off camera i was saying that foot fetishes need to be normalized because it's not that crazy like they're fairly normalized but like i i think the mass majority still like ill feet like you got your dogs out like i think it's normalized in a way of like for free like that's like a thing but it's not because it's not because people are like oh it's like normal to like and yeah has a foot fetish is what she's i do i would suck on the toes of the right person um no i don't think

we need to normalize that um but then you said we need to normalize furries first. And that makes no fucking sense. Because we're talking about normalizing a human body part versus people who get in fucking animal costumes and fuck. Yeah, no. I think furries are demonized. Obviously, there's bad, but there's bad and a lot of good in everywhere. But I think furries are like they're they're braver than the fucking marines like i really do commend them i'm not a furry

could never be a furry i do want a first i'm not a furry i fucking hate them they're disgusting but but the the like conventions like the bug furries they're those are sick like the moth ones and the critters are fire like the commitment to it is fire but then i think about like actually you know what no maybe in this one conversation you're changing my mind what i will say is like if i had to choose between having sex with like a random person who has like no interest and no passions versus having sex with a furry that furry is about to fuck me crazy like that is gonna be some crazy ass like you know furries are fucking like anybody with a passion that fucking like intense is fucking i have so many passions like so many passions that i love you want to prove it in the bedroom my love yes

no but um yeah i think foot fetishes are normalized i think they are a thing um and i think it's just like i think true equality is when you can make fun of something and being able to make fun of foot fetishes i think just makes it so like it's hella normalized also like i there's like some like like connection in the brain where like the sex center of your brain is right next to like the foot center or something so like sometimes those like neurons like cross fire and that's why some people develop is that real i think so like obviously like i saw one fucking i i actually did see an article on it this wasn't me watching a fucking tiktok watching a tiktok and saying you read an

article literally classic classic 20 something year old vibes foot fetish did you just have to spell foot out loud to type it? Yeah. It occurs in the part of the brain called the somatosensory cortex, which is the area that makes you feel things. Apparently, this part of the brain is right next to the part of the brain that controls your feet and toes. So it crossfires the neurons, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's why some people develop contractions.

Dude, that's why I can't stop looking at your feet. Can you take your shoes off we're a no shoe household and no socks we've become a no shoe and no sock household because your socks can pick up dirt from your house and bring them into my house so being a no sock household would be so nasty on like

hard floors you need to take your bare feet out immediately take the dogs out i love the sound of feet hitting a floor like walking around it's literally so funny yeah wait no because it's funny it's like duck feet like our feet literally are like yeah like it's so funny that like our feet just like make sounds like we literally as humans like nobody can be silent like everything you do like there is a sound to it yeah well i mean you never hear me when i sneak into your bedroom at night and watch you sleep well that's

because i'm a heavy sleeper but sometimes i do peek my eye open a little bit i see you and then i'm like oh my god like i've said this a hundred million times but inya in the morning when she wakes up she has like zero control over her body and like she stomps through the fucking house like she like i'm just heavy-footed as fuck like i literally like it as fuck like this if i was in texas chainsaw massacre i'd be it's done it's done that game is a key like if i was in fortnite and somebody had their like visual audio thing on you know how it's like the little feet when they're walking around you my sounds would be like humongous feet walking around like an earthquake um if you had to if you ever had to walk into a room full of everyone you've ever met

who would you look for first you me 100 you i think it would be you too when i thought of it it was you first and then I was like fuck that's a hard question because like it would depend on how I'm feeling like not how I'm feeling oh because like I would be like really stuck between looking for you or Ryan

but I think that includes your family too like it's literally like everybody you know if it was everybody you've ever met who would you go in looking for? I think without second thought, it would be you. Because I'm just literally so, like, used to you. Like, I've been away from my family for, like, a few years now. That's what I was thinking, too.

Like, it's literally just, like, oh, where's, like, Enya? Or, like, where's Josh? Like, where? Yeah, where are my people? Like, I always think about that, like, end of the world situation. Like, I would collect you. I of the world situation like i would collect you i would collect josh and i would collect azul and we'd get in one of y'all's car and like drive across the country and like drop off yeah drop off everywhere i know that's like my biggest thing

when i think of like the apocalypse and the world ending i'm like fuck dude like i hate that i wouldn't be with y'all too but i I need to be with my family. Like, because of just like, I want, I love my family. But when I read that, I was like, damn,

I was like, I thought of you. And then I was like, no, it should be like my fucking dad. Like, that's why I should look at four first. But just the reality is like,

I don't think I would like, look for my dad first. I would look for you, which is, what would you look for? Oh, um, I would look for your mom so that I could bang one last time.

Yeah. Well, that's funny you say that because in the room of everybody met, if I was with Drew's mom in the room, we'd already be banging. Well, what's funny. So you get your heart broken for no reason. And what also is funny in a room with all the women that I've had sex with, your mom would be the only one in there. But it's like a thousand times. What? She's like, we've had sex a thousand times okay oh okay yeah

you've only had sex with his mom no no what um also me and drew have realized or i realized the other day when i was going to get in my car I looked at my car and I immediately got so humiliated because my car has a fucking nasty little antenna on top of it I forgot about this it was freaking me the fuck out because I saw it with a friend and I was like has that always been on there and she was like yeah that's always been there and I was like there's no way my car has always had that goddamn fucking antenna antennas are so stupid i immediately got so i got so embarrassed i contemplated going and ripping it off the top of my car because it was so humiliating and then when we were driving we kept looking at every car has like a little nub or antenna i was like eye blind to it like i like

nose blind to fucking seeing antennas like i literally literally like, it was freaking me the fuck out. And there's so many different like variations and shapes. There's like nubs. And then there's nubs with a stick, which those are horrifying. The nubs with the stick. Mine has a nub with a stick. I hate those.

I hate those. And then the tall ones that are like on the hood of trucks. Trucks get to have that. Trucks get to have that because like that, like I need to get my truck so I can have that tall antenna and put a little thingy. Like I'll put an LGBT flag on it for Drew because i'm usually gonna be driving around with drew no when we were talking about it like my fucking capitalistic rotten brain like was like oh my god like we need to start like a new like antenna like head bob business like you know how

people would put like the jack yeah i know that's not a thing anymore i was like we need to restart that like we should make emergency intercom little nubs that would be fire that would be really fire but it's fucking disgusting and but then it had me thinking i was like damn people who design cars and just like design objects for everyday use in general you have to be really good at it for it to be a um widely adopted design and those are such good designs because i've had that car for five years and not once have i ever looked at it and seen that stupid fucking nasty tail nub ass antenna why don't they put it in like the fucking tail light or something like this this can do more than what my car can do with that fucking antenna. And this doesn't have an antenna.

Like, why do we have an antenna? The phone talking to the antenna be like, I can do anything you can do better. Actually, technically, your phone does have an antenna. But it's not sticking out of it like a fucking nasty wiener, Kai. That's what I meant, Kai. Oh, boo. I gotta go into detail for Kai. And you got bodied.

And you got bodied. But you know what I mean? Like that shit is internal. Why the fuck does mine have like a little chub? Like my car has a chub. Like it's so nasty. It's got a little boner. Okay.

Well, I got a couple more notes. Also, who uses the radio? Why does it need that for the fucking radio? Are you serious? Also, it says it needs it for the radio, but every time I listen to the radio in my car, it always staticky it has never been a clear signal pisses me off sorry you're beautiful when you're angry because i'm passionate um okay i wrote down i got so lucky to experience um never mind that one's gay I'll just tell you that one in

private this one oh no that's sweet why did you write that just because I thought about it and I like was like literally like that's so real like I literally do I literally do i'm saving that one for me and india oh it was really sweet guys um but i know he he showed me that because he wants to hit later i know it i just know that's why i'll let kai read it um jeffree star goes live i farted it's her wing that sounded exactly like a fart was that your phone yeah it was my phone i don't know why it made such a strange sound y'all ever uh get the ps5 controller and put it on your fucking clitoris okay actually i was saying the other day i said the other day i literally was like i'm gonna make an attachment to wait i think i said it on the podcast i'm gonna make an attachment to the ps5 controller that has like a little stick that goes down there but then it would be really bad

for your brain yeah it would be bad for your brain because then like what you're running away from someone in texas chainsaw massacre and they're literally killing you and then like your brain would be getting stimulated in that way and you're seeing that and that's how we have so many fucking killers is because the porn industry is so fucking gnarly and disgusting and teaches you to have signaling for abuse to sexual events and And it's really naughty. And it's disgusting. It's because Ellen DeGeneres saves money on makes a billion dollars. Oh, on her editor. Yeah.

It's really good that they did that idea. That's really good that they did that. No, but you said just now. You swore. But I was going to say Jeffree Star goes live every day. Okay. So I know all of y'all have probably noticed. Wait, I'm sorry.

But I do need to clarify that. Like, I saw people the other day being like, why do they keep saying Disneyland and Mardi Gras? And it's gone too far. It's gone too far where we're taking like our jokes that we have as friends behind closed doors to the public and we're not explaining it. There is no explanation.

There is no explanation.'s no explanation the mardi gras thing is just because i said it in josiah in like one of the midnight mcdonald's and josiah thought that it was really funny for some reason so he's been like every time he sees me he's like say mardi gras and i'm like mardi gras and like we keep doing it and that's become like a joke and then joseph said disneyland really he was, So now we just keep screaming it. Also, the Ellen DeGeneres joke, I'm keeping that for us. Yeah, that's for us.

But that's like an inside joke that you're just never going to understand. And you should have connections with your own friends so you could have those kind of things that you could throw at people and like use it as a device to make them so jealous

and incentivize their own emotional connection to other people. Huh. Jeffree Star.. Jeffree Star. Going live. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeffree Star. Hello.

Oh my God. Hey. Hey, just between us. Are you okay? Where'd you go? Where'd you go? Where'd you go? Look at me, look at me.

You seem lost. You looking? Ew. All right. So... I was asleep last night, and I woke up at like 3 a.m. to go pee. Fell asleep with my lights on on top of my covers, by the way. But I did remember to shut my computer this time.

Never forget that. Or always. I don't know. i like woke up and like my tongue hurt like the tip of my tongue hurt really bad in my dream and i woke up and like i was chomping down on the tip of my tongue like like biting on it almost the entire night that i was asleep and i woke up and i was like damn my tongue hurts and i went back to sleep i know my tongue was hurting again in my fucking dream and i woke up this morning biting on my tongue again and if that becomes a fucking habit it hurts so bad it literally feels like i just like bit all like like you know when you burn your tongue on like like a coffee or hot chocolate that's what it feels like on the tip of my tongue. Like I scraped all of the fucking taste buds off

and it hurts so bad. Good. Now you can give yourself vegetables or something and you don't have to think about the taste. Okay. You almost made me yell. Almost made me yell. You're lucky.

You're lucky. You almost made me raise my voice. Yeah. You almost made me. Wait, what were you on? Jeffree Star. It took four fucking seconds. Four seconds. Yeah. You're lucky. You're lucky. You almost made me raise my voice. Yeah. You almost made me. Wait, what were you on? Jeffree Star. It took four fucking seconds.

Four seconds. Four freaking seconds. Oh, what I said, though, is it's literally like, you know what? I'm going to tell you something. I wasn't blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm not even sad that you broke your elbow. Yeah, it's like the same people. It's the same phenotype of person. Is it not the same person no no whoa

my brain just fused those together yeah exactly but um what the fuck oh jeffree star goes live every day i'm sure everyone has noticed like why is jeffree going live every day it probably started out as like boredom like in fucking wyoming wherever he is, like being bored as fuck. Well, it's evolved into him doing those TikTok battles, right? Well, I ran the numbers. You can see how many gifts people get. Like there's like a ranking system and Jeffree Star without fail every single day is in the top three like that I've been checking for the last week. He's in the top three every single day with like anywhere from like 1.3 million to like 3 million GIFs a day. There's a calculator online that I looked

and I did like very conservative numbers. He's making eight to like 13, $15,000 a day on TikTok live streaming only. If this calculator is correct, but- It's so insane. People are giving him essentially $40,000 a day. And then it's getting cut down. And after taxes and everything, it becomes $80,000.

And then I was like, that's why he does it. He's making more money doing TikTok live stream than he ever did on YouTube or anything. That's an exaggeration. Well, no, he's making so much money because of all that yak meat. God knows it's flying off the shelves. would eat yak meat but it probably just tastes like meat like when people start eating like extravagant meats from other animals i'm like bro iguana tastes like chicken so like there's probably just like 18 other species that just taste like chicken i will say like there is like a level of like nasty gaminess to like

wild caught meat that i don't fuck wild cock me yeah yeah you don't fucking suck cocks um whoa i don't know why i said that um like i literally don't i didn't even think that thought it just like came out of my mouth that was like so weird um but like there's like a level of like this flavor profile that's just so fucking nasty boots that like it's like gaming it tastes like it's been outdoor and it's like a stringent and it's like fucking stringy and tough it's like no no no no no no no no but i'm sure it tastes just like oxtail oh i would fuck oh i'm getting oxtail today oh okay well wait i got one more i guess it could go into drew's high up corner yeah yeah we'll do Drew's Psyop Corner. It's the Grimes.

My God, guys, exciting news. I have something to say for Drew. And just joining. This one is not nearly. I think Magnum Opus was last week. Like, Drew's Psyop Corner last week was Magnum Opus. I don't think it's going to get better. Your Magnum Opus was you saying to out people in the comments.

That was, like, the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Being a Grimes fan is like being a lana fan in 2014 we are in the trenches i'm a closeted grimes fan you can't say publicly that you're a grimes fan but like i'm sorry no it literally is like what it was like saying you're a lana fan in 2020 it was like saying you're a lana fan from like 2014 to 20 like 22 it was like oh you're a lana fan like okay and now now it's all the right yeah but grimes is just misunderstood y'all aren't really listening to the message as she's saying you're just hearing the words and taking them at face value and very literally but also she has said some really fucking whack shit but like like i said we're in the trenches it's like lana doing cocaine and like telling her 12 year old fans to do cocaine um oh i didn't talk about the halloween mask they made a fucking halloween mask

of me and are selling them at party city it's kind of fucked up it's fucking crazy charge your phone be bisexual eat hot chips and lie yeah it's so real um i'll show you the video after um do you have it saved in you i have it in our text it'll be easy to um okay drew psyop for real this time welcome to drew psyop corner you ever get high with someone and bust out laughing because they ugly as fuck? That's fucked up. That's why I can't get high around you. What the fuck? The male version of Shein is he out.

Okay. Oh, I have gay people does not produce anything good. But like, obviously,'s not true because kai and anya are here making the podcast but like wow um i thought i had covid but i was just in withdrawal um that's all i got guys i know this was a flop I tried so hard. That's really crazy. Yeah. Mine is girlhood, bitch, you're 28. We need to take that word away from people. Girlhood. She was a fairy.

Bitch, you are 32. You need to calm the fuck down. Womanhood. She was a fairy. Bitch, you are 32. You need to calm the fuck down. Womanhood. Yeah. Part of girlhood. No. Okay, yeah. I'm going to shut the fuck up.

All right. Media of the week. I saw past lives and it made me want. You made me want to kill myself. Unknown Death 2002. Just listen to the album give it a listen um by young lean i feel like you might like it a little bit um shawnee bin laden uh grinch set shit whole lot of wickedry walk heart um shawnee a lot and it's just fucking lit um you know who i was listening to the other day and i was like damn like you're actually like the voice

of a generation like you shaped so much culture like and i don't even i know he realizes it but young thug like young thug is like that bitch like no one's really like talking about it but like we need a free young thug like for real we need to free me from the prison that is having to do this podcast with you uh vespertine listen to vespertine by bjork i know i say it like once every month but like literally i'm begging you it's like best album I'm trying to get everybody on that shit. Like stop saying post or debut as her favorite album. Like there's skips.

No, I will say Vespertine is like between Vespertine and post, I would throw on Vespertine over post. But like possibly maybe. Yeah. Possibly maybe. There's like it's oh so quiet. Hyperballad Army. Possibly maybe. There's like, it's oh so quiet. Hyperballad, Army. Possibly maybe like the modern things.

But like other than that, like. Did you say Army of Me? Yeah. There's not like much replay value for me. Oh wait, but I really like, I miss you. But I haven't met you yet. And headphones. Actually, wait, this is hard.

This is like actually. Wait, I'm going to count. Headphones, I miss wait. This is hard. Maybe this is like actually. Wait, I'm going to count. Headphones, I Miss You, Possibly Maybe, It's So So Quiet, Hyper Ballad Army. I mean, I didn't count those. But that's like more than half of the album. It's like bops, bops, bops. Vesper Teen's got Hidden Place, Cocoon, It's Not Up To You. It's not.

Undo. Oh, fuck. But also Debut. Poetry, Frosty, Unison. so like they're pretty pretty tight but debut has human behavior like someone in love what are you saying that one i like literally can't oh yeah yeah yeah. Around me. Big time sensuality. Big time sensuality. Damn, it's a Bjork day.

It's a Bjork day. No, like. I think we're the first humans to tap into that octave. Like, it literally feels. No, Bjork is that bitch and i know a lot of y'all are in the phase of faking liking bjork because like you want to be a part of it and i swear to god just keep pushing and it will click for you one day no one listens to bjork the first time and likes her i swear to god it's like blade like bjork finds you you don't find bjork you don't find bled wow it'll come to you when you need her well my media of the week is suzanne by uh leonard cohen and that's no way to say goodbye

by him but i don't think that's the real name of that song um actually let me just find it like as if anybody actually listens to what i say because nobody gives a fuck. Hey, that's no way to say goodbye. April by Brian Greene is such a good song. Hey, hey. The album Anyhow. I give a fuck. By Leland Witte, which is an album you convinced me to listen all the way through because I had only originally listened to like the popular. Is it the green one? Yeah, I had originally only listened to the first two tracks on this because it was like like glass moon was the only one i had listened to

and then i listened to the whole album and i love the album i listen to it every time i'm in the sauna it's like freaky like it's like nice like jazzy like yeah it's like a nice like jazzy ambient album it's weird and it like has like drums in it which i usually like for ambient music to have like drums is like really nice. A Summer Wasting by Belle and Sebastian. Together We Are Beautiful, which is what I said last week. And honestly, anything by Blossom Deary. Or like not the song, but like just Blossom Deary, period.

I'm shadowing you. I watched Adventure Time time which i know wait hold on let me restart i watched adventure time for the first time like sat down and watched like a bunch of episodes back to back because like obviously like i've seen bits and pieces and episodes through like friends or like on cartoon network when i would watch cartoons or like whatever that vibe was but like i never sat down and like consumed it and everyone in my life was like drew you would like love that show yeah so fucking much it's so drew core like it's literally it i know it's probably like hearsay for me to even say like as a 25 year old man like to that i haven't seen um adventure time but i sat down and watched like two hours and

20 minutes worth um yesterday while i was like drawing and working and i can say that everyone was right it is the best cartoon ever made yeah it's really good like a best cartoon ever made you've seen midnight gospel right yeah yeah yeah dude that's such like a also that's like from the same creator yeah it's so genius for them to like take a podcast take or not even that but like or that plus like that's i've never even had a thought close to that level of like ingenuity and geniusness but like the fact that like we grew up watching adventure time and then like now that we're old enough to consume like these deeper like topics, like it's cool that like the same creator. So it's like familiar and it's like nostalgic,

but it's also like heavy and deep and it's things that we actually have probably experienced. And I need Duncan Trussell. I need him. Come here, come here. All right. Come here. And we'll end the episode with that.

So thank you guys for watching. We want to have sex with Duncan Trussell. Come here. All right. Come here. And we'll end the episode with that. So thank you guys for watching. We want to have sex with Duncan Trestle. Tag team. Tag team. Tag team. Tag team. Outro Music