Emergency Intercom - bottom erasure

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

we share our resolutions and ins/outs for 2024, enya calls out drew for participating in bottom erasure, and drew makes the mistake of turning on a blacklight during the episode.. Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/INTERCOM and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom Help!

We're stuck at the computer! Word's wrapped and I don't know when we're leaving. I'm stuck in the computer, I can't get out of my head! Did that peak? Yeah, yours is peaking. It sounded good though, it sounded good. Hi guys, hey! yeah yours is it sounded good though it sounded good hi guys hey hi drew did i realize what i was just gonna say we've like recorded so much this week i feel insane good you should you should feel overworked and burnt out right at the first week of the new year. That's what the new year is about. It's about getting all those resolutions and scaring yourself into the change that you think is not believable. And then backing out and going back to your normal habits because life isn't about hustle. Life is about being normal. And I feel so sick too.

Wait, did you get sick again too i don't think i'm sick i don't know why i feel like this but i just feel like so like foggy headed because you don't have me around i literally is i've withdrawn like i'm in like the late stages of withdrawal. It's called postpartum depression disorder, actually. Wait, what? Are you claiming you gave birth to me or? No, no. It's called PAWS. P-A-W-S.

It's the late stage of withdrawals when it's just strictly mental and not physical. Pogs? Did you say pogs? Pogs. Poggers. No, P-A-W-S. Oh, hogs did you say pogs pogs poggers no p-a-w-s oh i also thought you said pog and i was like oh my god thank you oh poggers what does pog stand for fat and white oh it's fat ass white girls oh i thought it was like poggers in the chat like let me drop some pogs down below yeah i think no me and guys mind was elsewhere yeah um well no no well i thought we could come into this episode and maybe chat about our new year's resolutions our ins and outs um i didn't write in any ins and outs, and I told Kai and Inyo too so they could do the heavy lifting,

but I did write my resolutions down. And I feel like if anybody wants to go first, they can, or I can go ahead and start it. Start with your resolution because I have a thing of ins and outs that is pretty obnoxious and weirdly long? Perfect. No, that's perfect okay then i'll start with my resolutions um okay my first one i've been saying this a bunch recently but like a full-blown dopamine detox like i want all the devices out of my life like kale phone I don't want to use it I fully want to like just have everything out of my life that like gives me any dopamine so I can like go back to baseline because I think I'm functioning like above baseline and it's really scary when I even dip below where I'm at now

when I'm like at normal baseline of dopamine levels I don't know how to describe it so basically you want to do Mr. Beast's last challenge when he locked himself in a room for 100 days did you watch that no but that's literally what I wanted I haven't watched any Mr. Beast videos because I was like oh I want to watch them with everybody when we get back um but I think everybody's watched them because on my account, the Mr. Beast video was already watched. So that means somebody TV already watched at our house. Damn. Also, Josiah does not wait for us to watch.

Josh and Josiah, they don't wait. Every time I'm like, oh, should we watch this? They're like, I've seen it already. I genuinely think they have notifications on and they see it immediately. It's so oppy behavior. Like, it's not chill it's not chill like well I did do that to you a couple times actually I did it with um poor things which is the most insane movie I've ever seen like in a good way like i literally i loved that movie like if i haven't seen barbie

and i will never see barbie but that's what i assume barbie is about yeah like i feel like it's adult barbie yeah literally like i feel like it's in the same wheelhouse um wait wait wait wait wait what is this mug kai is drinking out of what is that mug wait what it says main character energy oh my god how do we boot him no you can't there's no where you get that okay if you want to be the main character yeah i literally am uh this is my room oh oh my god since you want to be the main character so damn bad and you too kai take it back i take it back i'm not the main character you guys are the main characters thank you thank you drew please come back it's in its place drew come back and make sure you don't know how to do it wait no actually oh here we go

all right we're good. Make sure to put yourself back above Kai where you belong. Oh, yeah. True. Drew on top of me. True. Hey. Ew.

Damn. That's actually crazy. Oh my god, Kai targets 30 this year. No, I actually don't. You know what's crazy is I've been lying to you guys because i just i wanted there to be like a mystery though and then i reveal at 29 at my birthday i'm like i'm actually like on a cool age like 24 yeah or something yeah well i saw a comment that horrified me and it was talking about our last episode with Hamza and Martin and the comment was like OMG this is like millennial versus Gen Z and I was like who are they calling millennial because I

know damn well it's not me and then the bio said oh like Drew and Inya just give millennial vibes and I was like I went to the comments to see if anybody was talking about it and everyone was like yeah no I fully understand that like Drew and Nia are so millennial coded and I was like you guys are I was like I was actually hurt to my heart like I didn't invent Gen Z but I didn't actually invent Gen Z but like it freaked me out well for that episode it was crazy because I'm kind of like the baby of the group so I felt at home with kai is so baby with martin and say your baby say why'd you say his name like that martin martin because i'm a baby because i'm a baby i'm still learning i will say i do think like as like like unintelligent as a lot of our humor is i understand why people say we're millennial core like we are kind of so old head like all we do is talk about like young people

and that is so true actually is that your millennial pause yeah i i literally it is so foreign to me that i can't even act it like and I'm like a world-class actor and I just like I can't even act millennial because it's such like it's not that might make you not a world-class actor because that might be one of the easiest roles to take on oh doggo galaxy uh uh donate a doubt donate a galaxy to me fuck that's so jimsy actually sorry like i know that is that is millennial chorus fuck because when i think of that i think of jeffree star jason nash who actually i think might be the silent age what is it the people who went through war the silent age is like 80 year olds yeah yeah i'm pretty sure that refers to like you're so

old you can't even speak it's like you're locked away in like old people homes. Yeah, that's Jason Nash. Yeah. Jason Nash almost hit me in his Tesla one time in Studio City. I wish he did. You wish he hit me? You wish he hit me and I died? Yeah, because then we would have taken him to the small claims court.

Hello. Okay. That is a big claim actually oh my god i'm in financially bro okay okay because you're so important to me okay oh okay that's i don't know would have been dented i don't know if his prius would have it would have been totaled that's what i'm saying i don't know if it's free it's been a while under large claim i saw i saw someone talking about how prius owners are the bravest people on this planet because they time and time again prove that they have the thickest skin of any person on this planet because they

are just constantly berated for owning a prius yet they still drive it and all i thought about was how brave kai is He's a brave soul. You're a brave soul. I'm brave for a lot of reasons, guys. Oh, also... I'm like a martyr in a lot of ways, I feel like. You know what I mean? A martyr of what cause?

Straight white men. Yeah, straight white guys. Women. Yeah. That's true. We do need more of those. Let's see. Oh, also this mug belongs to my new roommate, by the way. Very excited. Do you have a TikTok mug? Yes.

He makes TikToks. And it's a mystery who it is. But you've seen it. Yeah. Oh, have I seen it before? Maybe. I don't know. Oh, it's probably Vinnie Hacker.

Shh. I wanted it to be a mystery. What the fuck? Well, I just don't believe oh it's probably vinnie hacker i wanted it to be a mystery what the fuck well i just don't believe in mysteries yeah so anyway spread that around vinnie hacker and kai backshots newman now live together in silver lake and i changed your name to kai backshots newman that's what people call me that's just my natural nickname as of dude that you might find that that's not like a cool nickname they might be making fun of you yeah no like it's not like a nickname like you're giving the back shots like people give you back shots that's fine that's okay i don't have an issue with that i just

don't think that's like drew i don't have an issue with that yeah i don't know but okay wait new years i i'm reading back my notes for my second one okay so i was thinking so you know how like i wanted to make my blind box toys or whatever well i saw the market for the rose toy and i was like oh wow there's like a big like market for this shit so i was like i'm gonna make them vibrate and like have like clitoral suckers and shit in them so it's gonna be like a blind box but with like a vibrator um and it's in my character's like silhouette um i don't think that's gonna do as well as you think wait are sex toys recession proof yes i think they go up in value yeah they have to be recession proof because people are like desperate for like

a dopamine hit so like yeah damn we should all get in that business like what are we doing all the celebrities making alcohol and shit which i think is kind of recession proof because people need alcohol to survive a real session a real session a real session um but yeah we need more celebrities dropping sex toys like that's what we need yeah we need um you tried box toys no we don't what what are your other resolutions um lose 45 pounds um okay so i think if you lose 45 pounds you may pass away yeah you're gonna become two-dimensional dude that's like i keep telling everybody um i'm like i'm like guys my goal this year is to weigh 83 pounds like that's my goal i'm gonna hit the gym i'm really gonna hit if i weighed 83 pounds

i would die i'd be in hospice that's unhealthy that is scary no but my actual goal is to gain into the drain you know like the drain grate yeah yeah i want to slip into that and be swept away y'all remember when rihanna walked over the drain in heels yeah that's what i want to do that's one of my resolutions you want your body to be the heel or you want to walk over great i want to walk over greats and heels this year um no but my real i'm running on the treadmill i get sucked into the thing like i fall but instead of falling off i'm so thin that i get caught in the like revolver you know liquid cats that's my goal this year is to break all the bones in my body so I can fit inside of any base I want or bowl um no my real goal body goals going yeah my real one is to like gain a bunch of weight I want to be like a burly man like I want to be

nasty and big and strong I just want to be able to run for like 30 minutes straight oh that's a good one. So that when the killer comes after me, I will be getting away. When the nuke drops, you can outrun the nuke. I can outrun it. Yeah. I'm going to be the first woman to outrun the San Andreas fault line shattering this year. Yeah, I do think it's coming.

Like the second the earthquake starts, I'm going to run away. Did you see that Iceland is like literally splitting in half? Yeah, need to go i know we need to go now wait are you done with your resolutions because i have really important ins and outs i have one more um and then i also i have a couple too so okay your resolution more porn and it's gonna no it's real it's gonna be the longest resolution list i've ever heard in my life. Because you're nearing the end and you have so much to do. Well, whenever you guys let me do an episode with the camera, I take full advantage of it. So my ins and outs are long.

I mean, you are the main character. You are the main character. Hey. Okay. Wait, is that an Emma? Emma? isn't her podcast called the main character podcast no this is just a tiktok one i don't know maybe it's the same font i guess is it really yeah it looks like the exact same font i actually don't know the name of it um i got my last one is just two camping trips

or two retreats to nature. I want to go to Canada and do that road trip up in Canada, across Canada. I'm super down for that. I bet Tavia, if we literally told Tavia right now, she probably already has one fucking plan for this year. Yeah, and we can just tag along and ride in the wheel well.

I'll sleep in the bathroom i love the bathroom right in the wheel well it's so funny well after i lose that 40 pounds i'm gonna be small enough she'll just put you in her stanley cup i'll be a mud flap for the car um all right well kyle are you gonna go or should i start my ins and outs oh yeah i want to drink alone more i drink alone a lot but i want to drink alone more like how often drew please come back what the fuck i feel like i just don't support this drew when friends say that you're supposed to show up for them not disappear yeah that was the way i came back immediately like i came back before you even said drew come back okay so you guys want me to do like real ones you want me to be earnest no no do it do whatever you want i want to be less i want to have more self-confidence do you actually like feel like you lack a lot of self-confidence I do a lot yeah like it I feel

like it was literally hot so I need to lose some confidence look at that smile you're literally hot I'm serious well it's because you're rising me up and I'm getting wet and I'm creating male snail trails okay uh let me see what's another thing oh yeah i want to be more self-confident i i'm a little bit afraid of everything and then um i want to get 10 000 steps a day i want to that's a good one i want to go to disney every day yeah exactly i want to be walking around la and people just be like oh my god like that guy gets so many steps he's lost so much weight he probably i see that no they're gonna be like oh my god i that guy gets so many steps he's lost so much weight he probably I see that no they're gonna be like oh my god I see that guy walking around every day he must not have a car

he's the killer no um Kai back to your self-confidence one um like a little bit of advice um is um like if you want to be more self-confident like just be more confident you know that's what i was going to say smile more often okay make people just make people um like find you attractive which i guess i don't drew how do you do that because i just kind of like when i show up it happens yeah that's like not really i'm you oh whoa it's already working oh my god you immediately look like somebody yanked your face back with face tape okay genuine question should i just do this like 10 all the time um no no no no no okay no i don't i don't like how good you are at it also your eyes like cross No. No. No. No? Okay. No.

I don't like how good you are at it. Also, your eyes like cross a little bit. Wait, can I do that? I'm fluffy. Ew! What? Your hair is looking so fluffy today. Oh, wow.

Thank you. It's because I just washed it. No, do the fluffy thing. The what? Our goat. You know our goat. We laid in bed together crying laughing at this tiktoks oh i don't know what andrew curtis dude i don't know win streak your hair looks very bouncy he's on live stream and someone says, your hair's looking really fluffy today. He's like... I can't do that, though. What does he do?

He's like... He's literally... Ew! Wait, do I do it? No. Wait. You can't do it. You kind of look like you're fainting, Drew.

But yeah, those were my real resolutions. my real resolutions um i don't write any resolutions wait is that it yeah and i do want to drink alone that that one was kind of real too i want to like be on my jack kerouac shit who the fuck is that you might find that that's a slippery slope yeah yeah i want to be in more i want to be be in more slippery slopes this year oh that's a good idea get a cat get a cat i'm thinking about it actually i do want there's a there's one at my new apartment that his name's marty and he's always like trying to get in and i'm like maybe that's just my cat now you know damn yeah wait oh is it like an outside cat yeah yeah well his his uh his owners like fucking hate him like it'll be pouring rain and they'll put him outside that's so evil you can't maybe he's daddy's cat now maybe he's daddy's

cat now no he's pita's cat you need to call fucking animal services if they're putting that shit out on the street when it's raining yeah i know the cat distribution system is literally targeting you this episode is brought to you by samsung galaxy ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker with audio erase on the new samsung galaxy s25 ultra you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions and that's not all new galaxy on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief

will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. Okay, well, here are my ins and outs. I don't have any resolutions. I do actually, all of my resolutions are like health-wise, though. Like, I want to shop less, which isn't a health thing.

It's just like a financial thing. Drew, you look like frozen. Oh, because I'm serving. No, I'm not frozen. I'm serving. That's like not a good, like... I'm serving like a hungry man like uh lean cuisine right now what does that mean i don't know i was like playing off of like the frozen thing like

frozen i'm a meal best like a frozen no but a lean cuisine is it best served frozen you like heat it up what is like i'm like giving ice cream right now what the fuck dude maybe we are millennial coded because that was like insane okay um i want to shop less i do want to go running which is at the gym four times a week because i do want to learn how to run. For what? I don't know. Like, I just feel like being able to run really fast and far away from people really quickly is kind of a flex.

That's a vibe for sure. That's cool. That's just a vibe. And then I want to eat out less. Wait, is working on yours eat out meat? No, I want to eat less coochie this year because i feel like last year i did get kind of carried away and then it was a lot i'm gonna say you can't stop eating me out bro no you're you're always on the menu bae yeah okay but what was the one before that eating less coochie

no no no no no like i said i want to shop less run more run. Run. Okay. Well, I had a joke, but I lost it. Okay. And then I want to eat, like, I want to cook more this year because I don't cook myself meals. And that's, like, kind of sad. But, like, also, I don't believe in women cooking anymore. I'm with you on that. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I want to learn how to actually cook. Like, I'm about to, like, binge watch, like, Father Kells' Sidney Carlson cooking. Yeah. learn how to actually cook like I'm about to like binge watch like father kelsey sydney carlson cooking yeah no I'm like 100% with you on that just because like the amount of money I spend on food is like horrifying but then I always have that conundrum where I'm like bro like if I buy the food the ingredients to make it like it's cost four times the amount if I just ordered it so I might as well just order it but then I'm not thinking properly where you buy like five chickens or whatever chicken fillets and then you make five different chicken meals yeah oh my god bitch want to call me a millennial okay well i'm getting a tattoo and i'm gonna get fortnight across my forehead right here i would stand by the fortnite

no it is not dead yeah it fell the fuck off bro don't talk about that shit like that yeah fortnite fell off okay well here are my ins and outs it's pretty lengthy i almost posted it but i held it back here are my 2024 predictions in letting your phone die at night and waking up scared because you don't know what time it is that's a good vibe to me in not wearing underwear not in a sexy way but just because it is a scam to keep buying underwear and i do not want to just wear the same pair every single day like i do i'm not washing my underwear dude your skin works are so layered i feel like i could chip it off and it looked like tree bar yeah i was gonna say like um there's like no i'm not gonna say that that's gross i'm just so horny all the time i'm making pre-cum that there's like a layer of pre-cum like

at the base of my penis yeah when you think it has a bulge it's like um elmer's glue when you roll it up into a ball. Standing outside with your arms crossed, staring at the sky and streets, specifically when you spent all day inside. Oh, wait, that's one of mine. You go ahead. I was just going to say, like, I like am really into standing on the porch recently, which I did a lot last year. Like they were on to something with that old people are on this no old people we literally need to get chairs for out front and just sit there

yeah just sit there they know like my vibe was like I was walking to Madeline and Stephen's house for my parents house and this is an end for me it's like when you're walking like outside just like look up at the sky it's like really disorienting and borderline. Like it gets you high. And I was having like an almost euphoric experience looking at the clouds change. And we need to bring back like pointing shapes out of the clouds. Like, oh, that looks like an elephant. Like that's in for me.

Damn, fuck y'all. Sometimes you sound like you've been sober for a long time because anything that brings you a little joy you're like it's almost like being high well no try it like i'm just high on life now yeah i do agree um not doing shit you don't want to simply say i just don't want to do that no i'm okay thank you or please stop bothering me did you hear that are you okay anya are you okay anya your voice sounds oh my god i think i'm in hell i literally think i'm in hell and anya has been a succubus demon that has been stalking me my whole life what no because she's like a male

it sounds like a man's voice right it sounds like she's speaking 30 like languages including latin it sounds like a demon whispering in my ear at night it's weird oh now you're back you're back oh you're back oh you know what i think it is i think this mic might be broken it literally is tapped into hell i'm pretty sure like the screaming souls of hell didn't that sound like a bunch of different voices at once yeah yeah that's like a chorale of voices is it okay if i just use this mic because this one is perfect whatever you're doing right now okay um well also what's in is local news i would like to be fear-mongered based on my location um but i miss just watching the news and being really

scared about my surrounding neighborhood because i have not felt the fear of like a neighborhood that i've lived in for like a really long time and i was just like wow we need to go back to like the 24-7 news cycle just playing on the tv like all day and night that's actually a good one out is excessive self-care um it's just not that serious really excessive like oh i i microblade i fucking ice roll like okay like yeah bitch you're when you die tomorrow guess what you're gonna look like shit in that fucking casket because your parents are not gonna get makeup by ariel to come and beat your fucking face so the plumpness of your face won't even matter because you're gonna look like shit in your casket so the excessive self-care is pointless um being drunk is out for me which is like opposing kai's wanting to drink more like

i've never like drank and i've been like oh i'm so happy i drank last night like that was the best decision i ever made um being drunk is just out waiting in lines nothing is worth waiting for that is a stark contrast from the N.Y. new two years ago you go to Miami and you become a completely different person because you love lines I know but I decided like it's kind of like I'm wasting minutes I'm never gonna get back for something that like is kind of pointless like what am i waiting for like i'm trying to think of what i would wait in line for and i can't think of a single thing that i'm like oh my god i would love to wait for that like i want it so bad i'll wait for it um vegetarian and veganism we will all perish sooner than you realize be free um yeah no i'm gonna start eating

like fucking rodents and shit yeah i want to eat raw meat this year like roaches i bet roaches like in 2058 are gonna like be a delicacy like they're gonna be the only thing we can eat because they're the only thing that can survive like the pollution is there any nutritional value from a roach though there's gotta be protein there's gotta be protein they. Yeah, there has to be something in there. And then the last two things that are out for 2024, one being travel vloggers. I don't give a fuck where you sat in the plane. Don't take a picture

of it. Just get on the fucking plane in silence. And then the last thing is limiting your screen time is out. Just indulge in your screen time. It literally doesn't matter we are a generation of the screen and you are not going to be the first person to break it i don't care how many books you read because when you finish your book reading time you will get on that phone and tell

me you read so yeah bed rotting is in like it's always been in and always will be in um okay i found out that german cockroaches contain about 78 grams of protein per 100 grams dry weight so like find 100 grams of cockroaches and you can survive that actually sounds like a lot of cockroaches to find though like but that's also crazy that means like one cockroach like one gram of cockroach contains like 0.78 like 78 of its body is essentially protein ew i just thought you know what else contains protein oh my god what you're fucking calm what were you gonna say i was literally gonna say protein powder like you're weird bro like literally what are you on about you're always on about some like no you come give me a cum shit like i've never said that to you

well um i think i've also decided that birds are disgusting um because i've seen two videos that grossed me the fuck out one of them being like the hollow chest part it actually makes me want to fucking kill myself do you know what i'm talking about wait autopsies no like somebody moved the feathers of a bird apart and like they had like this like harder like shell casing and it was like where they're like making the noise from it was like a tiktok i saw i'll find it and show it to you it is fucking disgusting and then i saw how birds grow their fucking feathers i know you've been wondering how feathers grow and this is what they look like when they're brand new it's so creepy it looks a little bit weird

they look like spines or some sort of horrendous growth coming out of the bird but these are pin feathers and this is what a brand new baby feather looks like when it comes through the skin it pierces through the skin covered in this sheath which is made out of keratin the sort of stuff your nails and hair are made out of and i am not kidding birds are so fucking nasty and if you have pet birds something is actually fucking wrong with you um and that's um yeah no i'm i'm still there i have gotten over like birds attacking me constantly and um i don't think they're out to get me anymore. My new fear is drones. Drones are evil. We need to eradicate drones.

Drones are out. And not like war drones, like personal flying drones. I know what you're talking about. Oh, dude, I'm trying to find the video of this fucking bird chest and it's so gross but every time i look a bird trust it's like a man like what's happening isn't that um like a term for a guy that hasn't bulked yet there's it's that and there's pectus carinatum and pectus carinatum or pectus carinatum and pectus excavatum excavatum is when your chest goes in and you've seen the clips of people eating bowls of cereal like out of their

like sternum spot that's excavatum and then carinatum is um when it goes out like a mountain well i'm never gonna find this video because it's only videos of men's chest but there's a video of someone moving can you show me that videos of men's chest no I just want to see it like cause it's like a ghost it's gross okay actually nasty

that's how men shaving their body is out yeah men who shave their body kind of freak me out but like to each their own i feel like kai probably shapes his chest no i don't i don't shave my chest you if you shave your chest then it grows in this this is what i've heard is that if you shave your chest and ass it's really uncomfortable because it gets itchy Drew yeah I've shaved my ass when I was like 18 before

and I was like it was probably when I was 17 because I remember being in the back the poltergeist is literally haunting me I swear to god but I remember being in the back of a class like this being in the back of class like this why wouldn't you just use your fucking hand to itch your ass through your pants because when you look

putting my hands in my butthole I feel like every like boy has gone through this once they go through puberty and their ass gets all hairy you shave it with like a razor and then you're in next thing you know you're like yeah you're rubbing your ass against the girls shave their ass all the time it's like a common thing like that everybody's like oh my god my fucking butt it just because i shaved my ass oh see i don't know stuff like that. How about this? I've been thinking about that.

A million kids come up missing per year. What do y'all think happened to these kids? Every time people come up missing, the more and more people come up missing, the more they release more chicken sandwiches and shit. I'm noticing that. I literally like... Dude, that will always be the best video ever.

It's like prophetic. It's literally like genius. Because it really does make you think. I don't think so badly if he meant that with like his whole heart or if he was just like being funny because if he meant it that's crazy but if he made that as a joke that is the funniest joke i've ever heard told in our like time like it is so good um well also on the last episode you talked about the sephora thing and i was like what are you talking about i've been seeing all the tiktoks about like the rowdy ass fucking annoying children who go into sephora so i think my resolution this year is if any sephoras need

somebody to stand at the front door and kick a 10 year old in the head i will take the job you can't kick 10 year olds in the head well support can write into their guidelines that if a 10 year old crosses that entryway line that i can kick them in the head then i think i technically can't so scared of yeah like i'm so scared of me yes oh good we should have just called the podcast ed podcast that's what i was thinking because like emergency intercoms like so long and then if we call the ed it's and you drew podcast no no no no we could have had this function we could have had like i love ed for merch no i feel like that wouldn't have gone over that that is like maybe the worst thing you've ever said. Cause what's it's just our initials.

No, it's eating disorder. Yeah. Cause we're eating this order. Like we're eating the order that was served to us. Frozen. Why do you say,

why am I giving ice cream? I'm giving ice cream right now. Ty, what's your ins and outs? Did you do yours already, Drew? I don't have any. I told you I ought to write them, and I didn't write them. Okay, I'll do my ins. A24 movies.

You know when you see that logo, it's going to be a good-ass movie. Okay, that... Just keep going okay uh matt rife goat okay keep going because i this might be is this for your 2023 2024 um this is 2024 um uh being a male pick me the bell jar give us give it wait kai give us like your best male pick me energy right now he did it he's been doing it for the past 36 minutes for the past like 20 episodes if you if you have noticed okay um what else is in kai oh the bell jar okay my year of rest and relaxation anything really by joan didion um uh omnipresent surveillance

by governments is in guys we're gonna see more of this as time goes on and we're gonna be losing more and more of our privacy rights uh me being the baby of the group is in i think we can all agree that that is in say i'm baby i'm baby i'm literally baby okay um 2006 xbox era lag switches oh shit we should do i don't know what that is oh dude it was like this it was like these electronic switches that you would connect to your xbox to like fuck up the internet connection and then you could like headshot people because you would like lag around and stuff it was basically it was so it would like shut everyone's internet off for like as long as you wanted and it would lag everybody in the game and you could just go and like sweat and stomp all over the lobby

yeah okay let me do I'm gonna do one more in Sprite Sprite is in guys Sprite lemon lime is refreshing it tastes good and it's super cheap is this an ad read for Sprite that you're

like throwing in here I have to drink it for the Is this an ad read for Sprite that you're like throwing in here? I have to drink it. Super good. Okay, I'm going to do my outs. Wait, McDonald's Sprite's tasting like electricity. Tastes like TV static. Finish it. You didn't even finish it, though. If it's so good, finish it.

Chug it, Kai. Finish the Sprite. And then eat a banana. No, I can't. Eat a banana. You should have a bite of a banana. Take half of the Sprite. Finish the banana.

Is that like a thing? It's like bad or something? No, it's... No, it literally like... Apparently, it like cures cancer or something. Oh, I don't know about... I didn't know about that. Okay, out.

Sambas. They're cooked. I think know about that okay out sambas they're cooked i think we can all agree that sambas are cooked ketamine therapy is out everyone who did it has severe brain damage including me okay i'm sorry um locking in is out because a lot of people did ketamine therapy. Locking in? Locking in. Oh, like, like lock in. Locking in because you get ketamine therapy and now your brain is all melted and you can't, you can no longer lock in. Federal Reserve raising interest rates. I think we're done raising interest rates in 2024. Inflation is now under control and we're gonna stimulate the economy and we're gonna see equities soar in 2024 so those are my ins and outs for 2020 well i came up with a few um while we were sitting here they're not nearly as good as yours kai um but you had some really great ones okay um i have

one out um and it's fentanyl poisoning why are you laughing was that ever in yeah but i was rooting for it oh okay you might be the only one who was like, oh my god, this needs to catch on. I think ins and outs is kind of like, oh my god. Trends. Oh, well yeah. Well then fentanyl poisoning is in.

Is that what y'all want me to say? No, no. It's just like, why? Okay, keep going. Okay. Okay. In Lana Del Rey. Okay. And being happy.

Are you just going to smile to be happy? As the prophet Cameron Dallas once once said don't be depressed just smile just smile you have such um like a creepy pasta smile like no this is my real smile i don't know if I never learned how to smile or if I have so much buccal fat or so much collagen in my skin that like I can't smile. Like my teeth, like I feel like they're like too far back in my mouth. You're so Edgar Allen Poe like coded. That's not a good smile. You're making that up.

That's not your real smile. This is my real. I swear to God, this is my real smile. How do you smile for a photo? Like this. No. i swear to god this is my real smile how do you smile for a photo like this no i swear to god look at any picture of me smiling you look like you're a cold case that just got solved thanks to the new dna but you're like case has been cold since 1831 no i swear this is how i smile i I'm not. I don't know. That's how I smile for a photo. I'm like.

Oh, Kai, you smile. Wait, did you? Why did she leave? Oh. All right, guys. Looks like I finally. No, don't get to talk. I didn't even get into my.

I didn't even let it start. I feel like I didn't even have a chance. My ins are when friends seem like they need help and that extra zhuzh to keep them going, just ignore it because taking on people's emotions is really hard for yourself. And especially if you're in a good place, you shouldn it because taking on people's emotions is really hard for yourself. And especially if you're in a good place, you shouldn't be helping other people because they're just going

to bring you back down. So if you've gone up and your friends are still behind, you should keep going because if that friend really cared for themselves, they would just catch up. A big out for me is working with friends. So you might see this year that i'm just like distancing myself and like kind of focusing on myself and if you see a podcast where it's just a girl only a girl um and the girl is money should we announce our podcast together kai oh yeah we announced it right right now let's do it all right on three one two three money angels bitches video games well that's the name it's called your podcast four four four oh that's like four four four um okay uh would y'all get a tattoo of me if i died yes but not of your face no like what would your tattoo be oh would i get another tattoo of you i guess is the question

the brand or oh when you branded him that's not that's not really like a friendship tattoo that's kind of like ownership have we ever talked about on the podcast how like a week into me knowing drew he like my god branded me and like carved something into my skin no but it sounds like something you have you do and sign a conventional or it was fully consensual. Oh, it was super consensual. I wanted it. But the thing is, no, we haven't talked about it. I don't think we're ready to talk about it because the way you reacted was borderline depressing. And it got infected and that's why you can never see the lower half of your body. It was also a QR code, so there was a lot of detail.

Yeah, it was a QR code. code oh that's what i would do i would get a qr code and it would be a link to a tiktok of you and me drew like actually though because i think like for you and you i would probably get a bunny um and for kai i haven't really thought about it too much, but probably the Nike logo. Okay, why? Why the Nike logo? I'm a big Nike guy. You love Nike. I don't really like Nike that much. I feel like you guys don't even know me.

You're always wearing Nike. He's always wearing Nike. I don't remember the last time I wore Nike. Aren't the sandy shoes Nike, the ones with sand in them? No, those are Asics. Wait, I saw someone do like pick your like it was like pick your favorite emergency intercom moment and the sandy shoe was one of them and it was i think about that and it's it is crazy how that wasn't scripted in my shoe it was not like

like why was it full of sand had you gone to the beach or like i guess it's because when you get to that age you're you're just slowly deteriorating so i bet when you close at the end of the day it's like you shake it it's just like little ashes yeah i would probably get like one i could get the glossier logo i think yeah yeah like kind of on it but like then you'd kind of just look like like a billboard for glossier i don't know if anybody would be like, oh my God, Kai Newman bootleg Glossier hoodie that he always wore. The Prius logo.

Oh, the Prius would be good. What about like a big, like, what about the SpongeBob where he has a bunch of cash and he has like grills to represent him? Oh, you know what you could do? Oh, yeah. You could get like a dove leaving a cage because you're freed now that he's dead

you're like oh you're free not Kai's free but Drew's free you get me? that's not what I was saying I was saying that Kai was free I think I would get a little anemone like for Drew I would get like a little anemone like you know the

have you ever seen like the Korean tattoo artists who do like little like anemones and like sea creatures and color yeah i would get one of those for you oh my in this year is kai should become a father but by accident and it should be big i would actually make a very good dad like i genuinely do believe that like i really but then who's gonna do the like edit the podcast the baby like think about us a baby's already editing the podcast so okay hey you can teach a baby how to edit it okay last thing i need to talk about something that was freaking me the fuck out is food eating competitions what like why did we let that happen in society and also food eating competition like

vloggers who just go around to random restaurants and set up the camera and eat food. Have you watched the way they eat food? It is genuinely so fucking scary. They're like scarfing it down. And there's this one girl who's buff as fuck who eats hella food. Okay, but Matt Stone, I think it's Matt Stone. Matt Stoney. He's like a YouTuber that eats.

Oh, the guy. Yeah. He's go he's like a in Kobayashi, when you'd eat all the hot dogs really quick. And then the cheater there was like a big cheating scandal. Like, I kept up with the food eating contest. How do you even cheat? Like, because like you would stuff like someone stuffed a bunch of, like, the hot dog bread inside of their water cup. So they were just eating the hot dogs. And then, like, he won.

And then they watched the footage back after they, like, crowned him champ. And they were like, oh, wait, like, he cheated. And it was, like, a big thing in the food eating world. But, yeah, Kobayashi's the GOAT. He will always be my GOAT goat matt stone does it in his car right matt stoney like he uh no he's like a youtuber he's been doing it on youtube i think i might be thinking of somebody else because i remember there was like an og youtuber who used to just like eat a bunch of food in his car like a shit ton of food um but i might be thinking of

someone else but like it is so weird and then there's always like this one girl i was watching there's always an audience that gathers around her and like they watch her and like cheer her on is she on tiktok yeah yeah i've stumbled upon her before yeah it was genuinely freaking me out like i was gonna say there's this dude that i've been keeping up with and i was telling you about him um like a few weeks ago how he had like like right before we left like there there were people that just like genuinely hate him for absolutely no reason um and he would like uh he he would go to restaurants and people would like follow him around the country and like watch him eat while he's live on tiktok and that's like his whole thing and he just eats for free for like a food

eater yeah that's that's another level of like well okay let's be honest like since i am eating so often like technically emergency intercom fans are like watching me every time they watch me they watch me eat and devour the competition i think you eat all the time drew i think you always look amazing can you put me back Kai I don't know how to make you come back where did Drew go Drew's camera just went black he didn't even like

what the hell why is my camera gone it's whenever you move Drew why are the lights off oh i don't know the lights just went off but i found a flashlight that has a black light and i was like oh like look like oh don't come on my hands i don't know if that's not funny like it would make it makes sense that they're oh what was that china on your face again why because we can't see oh whoa there's like what there's like a ton of cum on your face it's like a lot well i can't even see what are you talking about what do you know it's like all over your face why wouldn't you wash your face

I gotta go are you gonna wash your face at least or just like leave it on are you gonna shut the fuck up or something there's just a bunch of there's just like a ton of cum all over you okay and I get play you're probably jealous like oh you wish

like it's basically like slugging like it's like you ever heard of slugging that is so gross what do you do when it dries just peel it off like elmer's glue on my palm of my hand like why would you not clean the cum off of your face before i literally just said it's good for my skin drew how often information how often is your face covered in cum when we shoot these videos literally every single time do you like have to is that your like pre-show remedy no it's just it's on all day every day have you ever noticed why i don't go out to parties as much anymore because of this exact conversation would be happening oh because god forbid there's a black white like guy who can't go to parties because everybody is gonna know he has come all over his

face and seen guys i wanted to make sure because it's kind of looking very real i don't know if anybody would have believed you were just sitting in your sister's house with cum all over your face but this does feel really nice all right well should we get into media yes it's a bunch of vaseline i literally am slugging right now. Well, I watched Beef and it was fucking awesome. I watched every episode in like seven hours and it was freaking lit. It was so good that she called me. She literally called me and was like, Drew, you have to watch this show. Yeah, it was really fucking good. And what movie did I watch?

I watched The Liberals Ruined Everything. Oh, The Liberals Ruined Christmas? It's this documentary. Wait, is that real? No. No, but I kind of talked about it. What else did you watch? I was going to say I watched Salt Burn. and i didn't like it that much damn you're so different i know that's what i feel

like both you and kai are so different i feel really annoying because the only people in my life who didn't like it are like straight men who were like me and that's exactly i texted i texted drew i was like i was so angry i was like no i know like okay but imagine if it was two girls that would be fucking lit with boobs bouncing talked about more the the girl version of salt burn is handmaiden and that's a good fucking movie that movie is fucking lit I still haven't seen Soul Bay and I don't know if I ever will see

Soul Bay just because everyone is telling me to oh is it really yeah that's where I watched it I will say what's his name Barry Keegan is the main actor right yeah he is. He's good as fuck.

He was amazing. I saw something that he jumped through. I think he had 20 different foster families or something. This could be misinformation, but he had 20 different foster families and then had just a really, really rough upbringing. Is that when he got Killing of a Sacred Deer? Was that his first big one i think that was like his first big role i will say everybody in it like their acting was

on 10 i just like didn't i didn't a take on like the class divide and that's just like not my best take on it like that's not my favorite take on it it was a good movie but i was just like by the end i was like okay wasn't the take that like the middle class guy is the bad guy and the rich one percenters are like the good ones isn't that no wasn't it like middle class people are liars like i walked out of that movie being like oh i guess the middle class i walked out of that movie being like oh bisexual people are evil that was like the start of bi erasure i was like oh okay um okay so he revealed that he lived in 13 different foster homes um every family was good to him as a kid you don't know what's happening you get attached

and then boom let's move over here he told ireland's the late show um he remained with his biological brother the entire time he lived with various families. He was doing impressions a bunch for print calls and stuff. Then he landed his first role in 2011 for a crime drama, Between the Canals. um and apparently he called the director every single day until for weeks um until he cast him um but yeah so yeah that's a crazy come up story yeah so he did bounce around foster homes which is like that's like next level shit like it's super cool he has the most world war ii face yeah for real yeah no literally he looks like he should only be playing in movies set in like 1841 he would have killed common c he would have bodied that role um i haven't seen it i don't think i've seen anything with him ever maybe or no i his face is familiar i've seen him around in something yeah um but uh what was i

gonna say um the movie that i watched i talked about it briefly that where i was just like damn dude like that's a goddamn movie was um poor things like hi have you seen it yet dude i thought poor things was so fucking good was it not like incredible like it was so good i i i've been feeling so jaded because i'll keep on watching new movies and just be like no that was mid and then i'm just like oh i guess i'm the asshole because i've said this about like the last eight movies and then i saw that and i was like i don't know i was just really blown away by it it kind of reminded me of like the Pan's Labyrinth era of movies. Yes, exactly.

There was so much attention to detail. The story was really good. It was so weird. The set design was like fucking incredible. Like I will say like the first 20 minutes of the movie, I was like, oh no. Like, oh my God. Like, no, like please don't my God, like, no, like, please don't do that. Like, this is crazy.

And then and then after, like, the story developed and the plot developed a little bit, I was like, oh, word, this is what this movie is about. Like, holy shit. And I don't want to spoil anything for anybody who hasn't seen it because apparently no one's seen it because it's not doing very well in the box office. But like, please go watch that movie and like maybe i just have like man brain syndrome where everybody was like barbie's so good like because blah blah blah blah blah like maybe that's the same case but like i feel like the subject matter in this and the way it was like um spoken about was like very nuanced and like wasn't like hitting the i don't know like it wasn't like i don't know it was just good also like emma stone boobs and vagina i think that's probably

why we like it honestly if i'm gonna wait wait wait does she show her boobs and vagina because i need to go see it unironically i don't know if it's really hers but like there is a bunch of s in that movie and that's when it was like really funny to me at points was like when s was happening like it wasn't like like sex like it was like genuinely funny like times to be doing us i don't know yeah it was great it was great okay so i need to see it yeah then the last thing is fucking gray's anatomy oh my god i love gray's anatomy and i don't know why none of y'all told me that this show was perfectly engineered and made for me. But like it's legitimately like the best show I've ever seen to me. Like everything that happens in that show, like it's horrible, like duh, like it's not good.

But like it is so good. Like I can't, I don't know how to describe it. I need to start it. It's like medical and like love shit and like it's all so like crosses or should cross your suspension of disbelief but it doesn't and like a lot of like the medical things that happen in it you're like girl come on like that shit did not happen that person did not have toxic blood and it just killed like 30 hospital staff because they did surgery on them

and then you look it up there and there is a real case of that happening with that woman who had like meth or something in her system yeah and it like yeah there's just like a bunch of medical cases that are really cool and there's just like a bunch of love stories and like also like i can't tell if i'm just like in love with every one of the cast members because they're all like so hot or maybe they're not and i'm literally just tripping but like some of the acting is like really really like i'm pretty i'm pretty sure some really good like actors walked away from that like um yeah like some of the main casts are now like really good actors huge huge huge do i look good because one of my Because one of my resolutions is active listening.

And I'm thinking like. Oh, yeah, you've been good. You've been good. I mean, that's a little intense, though. It's a little bit. Don't do that. Why? Don't do that.

I just have a sniffle. But I'm going to like. Drew, have they looked like Wendy wendy williams when you do that drew have they introduced uh mcsteen yet oh duh like that's one of the originals or i thought that he was like season two yeah yeah i remember when he told he has he i think he was introduced in season one but he's big season two guy and season three guy um but he's just as fine it's um jacob lord he's dad then euphoria oh yeah i was telling india but she's not actively listening sorry guys by the time you watch this my mu-mu post will be up but i have to post for mu-mu right now so i've been looking down at my phone to see if they approve of me such an insane life like so insane um but yeah

yeah go like that shit right now guys go like my ig post um okay I'm gonna do media so we could get off because i literally have to finger this out car crazy world by king gidora give me love by george harrison walking across the field by steve hyatt and cure for pain by Morphine and Drop Top by Anissia. That's my fucking media of the fucking week. Oh. Ooh.

Mine is Intro, Lawrence, Guy, Toy, Visible Clocks. Actually, instead of reading all these songs off, go listen to F-R-K-W-Y-S volume 15

Serenity Serenity this whole album is insane like weird esoteric music but like toy T-O-I visible cloaks is like crazy but it's like a

collaborative album between three like weird ass musicians TOI Visible Cloaks is like crazy. But it's like a collaborative album between three weird ass musicians and they make just so weird. Like such good music. Alright guys. Okay. Great job on the episode today guys.

Peace and love. Good job Kai. you killed it thanks um bye ស្រាប់ពីបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា� Bye.