Emergency Intercom - Child Stars, Complaining, Conspiracy Theories

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

Drew and Enya have gone too far, they care so much for attention that they no longer believe in privacy for themselves... also just lots of complaining you know what you signed up for with this. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Did he resign? Or he stepped down? Yeah, he said it last episode. Didn't he get, like, called out for some, like, such shit? Or am I tripping? That's a different. There's too many politicians getting called out for some weird shit they do behind doors. Yeah.

To keep up. There's too many politicians getting called out for some weird shit they do behind doors to keep up. There's too many people. I feel like today I look like a girl who started using Tumblr. And then for the holiday party at school, I was like, I'm not going to wear a dress. Because girls shouldn't be expected to always wear dresses. I'm different. And I wear a button up. And I'm like, but I wear my red lipstick to feminize it.

And I'm in a Taylor Swift era. And I'm in a Taylor Swift era. You literally are in a Taylor Swift era. I think everyone is. Everyone's just having a dabble back into Taylor. Because good marketing. I guess it's not even marketing. It's like she literally had to re-record her album. That's like not marketing.

That's like hell. But you know what? It worked out for her. I saw on TikTok yesterday that I was talking about all the trademarks she owns. And it is insane. She owns like 1989. She trademarked the year. Yeah.

And like, of course, like it's not like, like I could call a shop technically like 1989 or something, I'm sure. But like you can't, if you, you can't put that in an album title. You can't make that your album title. I don't think you can make it like a song title. I saw something about backpacks. You can't put that in an album. You can't make that your album title. I don't think you can make it like a song title. I saw something about backpacks. You can't put it in a backpack. Fearless, Taylor's version, Taylor's version, TS, Folklore, Lover's Fest, A Girl Named Girl, Swiftmas. Yeah, Swiftmas.

Swift Stakes was one. I was like. Reputation, Swifties. Oh my God, Taymoji. Okay, I need to talk about this. Drewmoji coming very soon. Drewmoji has been coming soon for four years drewmoji is dropping very soon y'all i'm really excited it's in its final stages of development it's coming soon i just wanted to put that out there i actually randomly brought up um kimmoji came up with a group of friends the other day and i brought up

drew emoji and they were all so confused it was like a group of friends who like didn't know who you are and i just i just showed the picture to them and they go oh okay i was like that's like the reaction i'd expect to get out of literally anybody who doesn't know who i am oh okay that is a lot of your life. It's like, hmm. I still can't believe the fucking rant you went on about aliens in the last episode. I did not rant about aliens. I ranted about space. And see, now I'm triggered

and now I'm going to be having existential thoughts all day. Fine, yeah, you know what? I'll just keep my mouth shut. I'll keep my mouth shut. You're just going to take a vow of silence on the podcast? forgot i was taking a vow of silence you are so annoying wait when was it that you took a vow of silence and all of us were so annoyed i don't when was it or what was it when was it it was like a couple months ago i just sat in the car silent and i was like i'm taking a vow of silence and everyone was so pissed and i was like wow I'm taking a vow of silence. And everyone was so pissed. And I was like, wow, man, like, it really is.

It's insane how much value I add to the conversation. Because when I'm silent, everybody's mad that I'm silent because I'm just not. Okay, you're exaggerating the fuck out of it. We were all like, girl, fuck you. And we just kept talking. And then at some point you joined the conversation. Well, no, because it was like actual anger I felt directed at me. So I was like, you know what?

Maybe I am being a little annoying. You were being so fucking annoying because you weren't even taking a proper vow of silence. You kept saying like, I'm in my vow of silence. I'm in my vow of silence right now. Like you can't talk to me. And like y'all would ask me questions and I would literally ignore y'all. But I would answer them in my head. I literally think we were driving you somewhere you needed to go.

And I think I was asking you questions about going there and you weren't answering it and that's why it was pissing me off because I was like, bitch, I'm literally taking you somewhere right now. Don't talk to a man in his silent era. That's all I'll... Did you learn that lesson? No. You know what needs to happen? What I learned is more men should enter a silent era

because for that moment in time I felt peace. The world was a little more peaceful. I felt peace. I knew peace. Well, I think women and females should be more silent. because for that moment in time the world was a little more peaceful i felt i knew well i think women and females should be more silent you know what's crazy is like growing up i heard like female a lot and like it was just so normal to me and now as an adult i'm like being called a female is like disrespectful like like because someone made a good point on tiktok again because that's where i get all my information and like wait can i say something before it piggybacks off of that yesterday i was telling kai i forgot to say this in the last episode but a lot of the time i will like be like

oh i was like reading this article like i was reading this article and it was talking about this information and it's literally a tiktok that i saw that was three minutes long i i don't i actually do read but like i actually do read shit but it just has more like behind it if you say like if you were to say oh i heard it in a tick tock like yeah it immediately invalidates the information in some way but you know what i've realized is like gaining or garnering opinions and takes from tiktok is no different than like a lot of information we know is things friends have taught us and like told us at least for me that's like how i know a lot about it well know a lot about a lot of things is through friends so like tiktok isn't that different, except there are chaos agents who are- Like us. Yeah.

That spread misinformation. Who are fear mongering. No, you know what? Let's change fear mongering. Fear slaying. Fear slaying. Oh, fear serving. Serving fear.

I'm afraid I might be on my last lay. I can feel it coming. I'm not very boots anymore. The house is burning. In not a good way. not in not a good way saying in not a good way um fuck oh but someone was like being called female so disrespectful because like you could be a female anything you could be a like that's almost referring you as like an animal and like less than a human a female dog a bitch yeah but fuck what was the thing people used to say as kids or it was like um

yeah i'm a bitch like or like i'm a bitch i'm a boss i'm a bitch in a box and i sound like gloss why is that one of the only lyrics you've ever i was about to say that i was about to say that i don't know why that's in my brain because uh this morning you were trying to sing the little dirk song is that little dirk that's like i did my dance one time on tiktok and went viral with it drew literally said i did my uh my dance on tiktok it one time it was even worse than that i was like i did i danced on tiktok and went viral for it or some shit like that. Like, I'm just dumb as shit. We should do a full episode where it's just me playing songs that I know you love, like

playing them for five seconds and then seeing if you could even repeat the lyrics. We'll do that on Patreon. True, because on here it'll get demonetized. We had our first fucking episode get demonetized? Because Drew fake sucked the mic. But now I'm scared because last episode, I feel like might get demonetized too because we said wiener, but in proper terms. They are coming after me. I got age restricted on my fucking YouTube channel.

Oh, your whole channel got age restricted? No, no, no. But the last two videos did. And I don't even know why. The last one did. I did not make any jokes at all in the very last one. But it got age restricted. I repealed it.

Nope. It's because you're sexy. TikTok. Okay, actually, TikTok hates my TikTok account. There's not a day that goes by that as I'm posting, I don't get a video taken down and get restricted from posting for a week. Damn. And it started with my fucking collarbones.

I would be in bed fully covered by my sheets. And I'm not kidding. My collarbones were out. Not even like a sign of boob. Yeah. I almost look like I don't have boobs in those kind of videos when I'm laying down. And like, what were you going to say? It's like actually fucked up have you ever tried to suck your own boob before yeah everyone has okay i was about

to say because every dude has tried to suck their own wiener and i was like it like there's like you said worse shit on the podcast and that making you like that why did that come to my brain have you but yeah i feel like everyone imagine me laying down in my boob falling in my mouth because you don't understand how women's bodies work um yes i have i remember it's just curiosity i remember when in like seventh grade was around the first time where i like saw anything like porn related and i remember in one of those videos this girl was sucking her own boob and i was like what the fuck and mind you i had no boobs in seventh grade um and i remember trying really hard and then being really upset because i didn't have boobs and that was a big thing for me growing up is like i never had boobs um and now i have them and i i want them gone and i hate them

um i can take care of that i remember i used to stuff my bra i was one of those girls where like my friend gave me one of her old bras because she was growing rapidly. And so she gave me her old fucking bra. And I did not anywhere near fill it. So I would stuff my bra. Because I remember one time in literally fourth grade, which is belligerent and makes no sense, that in fourth grade, this is a conversation. But this kid elijah

and i'll say his fucking name he would like never hear this but it was this kid who i had a crush on but he was actually like psychotic and behavior and he came up to me and my friend who had boobs at the time and was like and yeah why is your chest so flat and like said that loud as fucking lunch and i remember i would just like was silent and, um, oh, I'm just not wearing my bra right now. Like, I don't know what I said, but I, like, tried to, like, dismiss it. So evil, dude. Kids are so fucking mean. Yeah, I was just as mean, though.

And we've talked about that. So, like, really, maybe I deserved it. Maybe Karma got its kiss. Oh, my God. Karma literally got its kiss. Sorry. But another thing I just remembered case sorry but another thing i just remembered is in seventh grade this kid brandon asked me out and my best friend at the

time he asked me out and i was like no like i don't want to go out with you and i was like really nice about it because he was friends with me and his friend i won't say this kid's name because he's a freak and i've seen his ig um but his friend um who later on made fun of me but we used to be best friends in second grade this is such a convoluted stupid story but basically um they were next to each other and I was really nice to Brandon over and my best friend at the time laughed in his face and started mocking him really loud because I think like because I was like so like trolly and annoying she thought that would make me laugh. And I was just like, stop it, please.

And he got really, really sad. And walked away and didn't talk to me for a long time. But you were actually being nice. Yeah, because he was one of the chillest guys. There's a lesson there. There is a literal lesson. What is the lesson? Just be nice to everybody all the time because like it's like the boy who cried wolf like how is this connected to boy who cried wolf because the boy who cried

wolf was lying and then when he was telling the truth like no one believed him but like all the time you're mean and when you're actually being sincere and nice no one believed you i guess no because you know i'm right like you know i'm right i guess i was curious where you're bringing that because i was like what the fuck are you talking about yeah i was a bitch in school but that's okay because now i'm a bitch behind closed doors and i'm nice to everyone in open space except for kai no i'm nice to kai i've been really nice to kai before like no one believes that but like i can think of nice things i've done for kai yeah that's true um i can't so literally in joshua tree no one cared that kai

was passing away oh yeah you literally everyone cared but no one was taking action and kai was literally passing away from dehydration and that's honestly one of the nicest things someone has done for me in like a while and also it was right before my therapy so i was like oh am i gonna push it and i was like you know what he needs this so i went and got him pedialyte so he didn't die that's really sweet um i don't even remember if we saw you for the rest of the night oh yeah then y'all stayed up fucking talking shit until five in the morning and i like had to listen to all of it but it was like locker room boy talk that's what i genuinely thought it was i thought they were talking can i say what i thought y'all were talking about i don't even know if i told you

i know you didn't i literally thought y'all were talking about giving head like i like heard something like that and then i was like i heard one of you making comments about how like oh yeah i do it every time and i was like no what the fuck are they out there lying about i was like what i mean that's not like an abnormal conversation for us to have though like we literally like talk about that with you like yeah i know and then i'd like shoot you all down and put you in reality. I'm like men. Okay. I've said this once and I said it before.

Unless like some man who's taking a masterclass and eating pussy, you do not have to do that. Like don't like don't disrupt the piece. You're actually disrupting the piece. Like you're like you're taking like feminism like eight steps back yeah um because now this poor girl has to sit there and act like you licking the bowl clean is like doing something for her and it's not licking the bowl clean like literally i'm like it's not working. Damn. Well, I was going to like try to like think of a like a witty response, but I've like literally said all of them. Like, have you finally run out of like gross?

No, I have not. But just like in that case, I have. Every girl I've been with has like cummed. Easily. Actually, you know the joke? Has cummed. You know the joke? It's like, oh, like men only last like two minutes.

No. No, babe. Get with you, girl. No, babes. Girls last 30 seconds with me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about it. my sexuality is so confused online no one knows and i'm gonna keep that good that's good you gotta keep them guessing i'm gonna keep it that way

i will say every time you talk about women it sounds like you've literally never looked at one for more than three seconds you said i made I made all of the women in my life have camed. Cummed. Cummed. Cummed. I believe that, though. You do do a good job with the pearl. I can polish a good pearl.

I can polish a good pearl. A pink pearl. Fuck it. Oh, just now? On this one? Fuck it it give me that damn bucket i okay this is what we can talk about tiktok is the worst thing to happen in the okay that's literally where i was gonna go right after this i was gonna bring up the fact that tiktok is single-handedly the worst thing to happen to the human race like i wholeheartedly agree with that it connected us in a way we never ever needed should have ever been this far

connected i don't know literally i just like i'm so passionate about it being the worst thing to ever happen that i literally can't even like think of words to like describe it i just think if it was eradicated today i would be a happier person tomorrow yeah point blank period i feel that part of me is like that's like kind of the only other social media app i use like i use that instagram i use this and instagram and then like i barely touch youtube other than podcast so i'm like oh my god like who would be paying attention to me though like that's like the only part of it which is like a bad thing because like i what i will say too is i don't know i'm like kind of flip-flop one the fun part about tiktok is it literally is just like fun bullshit for me like because i'm like everything i post on ig especially main feed

post is kind of more curated and i take more time to think about it and work on making content for there for the most part and then on tiktok i can literally just sit on the couch when i'm bored of shit but that's the problem is how easily you get sucked in you can't just watch tiktoks fucking yeah cycle like you can't just watch like tiktoks for 15 minutes like it's an hour-long process every time you get on. And then, yeah, like you said, the feed is literally endless. Like, with, like, apps like Vine and shit, like, you could get to the end. Like, you could, like, reach the bottom and be caught up. But, like, TikTok is literally forever.

Because there's too many people on there. And also, like, this is just real nerdy, weird shit. But, like, the algorithm is actually sinister. Like, it is diabolical like how it works like there's like parts of it that like this i was actually reading and you can go into my fucking history i was actually reading about this and i think you have to prove something because you get all your tiktok info i think kai mentioned it to me as well, but I may be wrong. But there's a part of the algorithm that for a week, it gives you really happy content where you're super happy. It makes you feel good.

The timeline might be different. It might be a day and cycles, whatever. But for a week, it gives you really happy content. Like you're on top of the world. Like you're, you feel good. Like you're seeing the shit you want to see. Like it's really like just genuinely like dopamine, serotonin, like hits to your brain every fucking time.

I don't know which fucking feel good chemical comes from fucking scrolling on TikTok. God damn it. I don't need to see that shit in the fucking comments. One week, the TikTok algorithm gives you good shit. The next week it gives you bad shit. The next week, it gives you bad shit. So then your ape brain gets addicted to it because then the next week it gives you good shit. And then your ape brain is like, oh, like this is how I get these feel good chemicals. And then it's just an endless cycle.

And that's why you're all addicted to TikTok is because part of it is the algorithm giving you bad content to make you feel bad. And then it gives you good content to make you feel good. And then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's a vicious cycle i was trying to think about that but i was like i don't know what is considered like bad content like i rarely get content on my page that makes me sad or anything but i guess the algorithm but i don't think the algorithm does this on purpose i think it thinks i want to see this because it has my name in it but there have been tiktoks of dumb fucking fugly bitches talking shit about me that land on my for you page and i'm like oh tiktok thinks i want to see this because this dumb fugly rat put my fucking name in their shit for fucking views because they're a goddamn loser and it's on my for you page yeah um and that's the only time

that something's on my timeline that i'm like now what the hell is this but i get joy from it because i'm like the girls are talking they're using my name for views the girls are talking that's embarrassing you should be fucking embarrassed you should be embarrassed get a therapist um but yeah that's the only time that shit's on my timeline that i'm like what the fuck i guess like there's like feel good happy shit that makes me sad um what's her name the i think her username is like a blogger something fashion blogger average fashion blogger but she has a really funny tiktok about it where she well fuck was it her and it's her and this other girl who are both like these white girls with freckles on their face that i kind of mistake for each other but i think it was average fashion blogger yeah it was where she like was like um how tiktok feels

it's her like crying and then she like it looks like she scrolls she's like like laughing exactly scrolling and she's like crying again um that's literally what it does to your brain this is your brain on tiktok this is your oh that fucking uh old marijuana marijuana that old fucking fucking old ass that old weed uh commercial that we watched the other day when she was like why did i do this yeah she like steals money out of her mom's purse and shit that dana was reposted i used to be such a dear kid i used to be one of those people that was like exactly like weed is gonna fuck your life up and you're gonna pass away from it i remember this is so amongst all of the things that i posted as a 14 15 year old that are extremely embarrassing to look back on one of them is i posted like a dare on dare day or on 420 i posted a dare post oh in a dare hat and i was like because

oh because i made a bunch of friends in freshman year who were hella stoners and we would argue about it all the time because i'd be like you are kind of fucking dumb like i was like you've been smoking since middle school like girl i can tell and like we would always beef about it me and this guy and then i made like an anti-weed smoking thing. Prude. I mean, it makes sense. With my shit I had experienced, in my head, I was like, any substance is bad. And I feel this way about alcohol.

But little did Enya know that drinks are pretty. Drinks are pretty and weed is sometimes fun. And tastes delicious we uh went to medbin the other day um which is like a weed store in la and we got transdermal weed patches i just have not touched them i was i got them because i was like okay this is like taking it too far like how far can we actually go with like getting weed into our system like transdermal patches that you put on like venus venus what is it venus venus areas on your fucking body and then you just get dosed with weed all fucking day long i was like this has to be like the end right also why would i want that

on all fucking day i would freak the fuck out well if it's a 12 hour high we're like why would we want that literally the ones we got drew got a pure c pure CBD one and then I got a three to one ratio. And also, and also they're not for us. They're for people in like chronic pain that like can't smoke weed. So they put it on their arm. Yeah, I am in chronic pain, bitch. Mentally. Mentally chronic pain.

Yeah, we haven't tried it yet and we have our honey. You know what it is? It's like, again, I just, I can't, I i say it so many times we spoke about it in like the last episode i can't with weed because it just it feels like a big like project that i have to undergo it feels like a chore and it feels like i have to like make space for it in my life and like i get scared i have to make space for it in my life because there's a chance that it makes me feel like shit and then i have to go to sleep and then i'm like uh i don't want to do it yeah um like i'm scared of our honey which is also literally 10 cbd it's 10 cbd and 2 thc which like if you're not familiar is a very very low

like the lowest dose like it's laughable like i have friends who enjoy weed who like i'll offer them like our can drinks which have two milligram thc and they will literally laugh at me and they're like are you fucking kidding me like why would i want that and i'm like okay that would make me feel worse um it's not enough thc those things get me high off my fucking ass i'd be goo goo gaga laughing i had a fucking panic attack um and but we'll stop talking we always like somehow like mention weed and how we're scared of it so we'll just make sure we do like a patreon episode where we get high and everyone can see so you can see us tweak the fuck out like that's a good idea like i've said before

i'm like lucky enough where i'm like yeah but i will say if drew starts tweaking next to me like i will fully consume that energy and freak out you know what it what it would happen is i would like see the camera and i'd be like oh my god like this is like i'm doing i'm this is my job like talking to like an inanimate object and then on the other side like like are people living inside the camera like it would get dark dude it would literally get dark and then i would mention space and it would be done yeah it would be over it would be over i see you eyeing that stupid fucking list well i'm seeing if there's anything else. And the only other thought that I have on this list that I didn't touch on already is imagine dating an influencer.

Like, it sounds like a nightmare. And I understand that. Are you talking about like us influencers or like influencers who are very like, this is my life. This is what I'm doing. No, just us. Any influencer. or like influencers who are very like this is my life this is what i'm doing no just us any influencer like literally anybody who is like self-absorbed like like because i'll be the first admit i think i'm the best person on planet earth like i genuinely think i am number one i don't think that's an influencer thing i think there's plenty of people who like suck to date because

they like think they're the best but that that just is piggybacking off of that like having to take photos of people like like also like the idea of a thirst trapper is just so fucking gnarly yeah i guess i i'm like being too biased because i'm like what does that have like i i was thinking about us being dated but i think the worst part about dating one of us is like just the in inevitability if people do find out about your relationship or if like me you've had a public relationship bitches won't shut the fuck up yeah like bitches just won't shut like take a hint yeah leave me alone yeah it just sounds like a fucking nightmare to date either another influencer or again like a thirst trapper like that sounds fucking

embarrassing as hell embarrassing yeah i'm just like i think a lot of people usually have one public relationship and then they realize oh that was like not a good decision and that was awful because um the chances of it not working out are pretty high and then the chances of like all of your young followers not being able to take a hint and then saying things like, I don't believe in love anymore. I'm going to fucking kill myself. Like because of your relationship. Those chances are pretty high.

So most people don't do that. But I agree with you. I'm trying to think. Luckily, people dating us don't have to take pictures of us, though. Imagine like. Because we don't post ever on anything. I just I would be damned if I gave one. I just can't have anybody i'm interested in

romantically taking pictures of me in general i'm like now why are you doing that like so you know i want candid photos of me i don't i genuinely don't think there's like any candid photos of me anywhere in the world i have so many random photos of you but i just clock the camera immediately and they're not candid anymore like a lot lot of people do. But I'm saying I want like candid photos. I just want to be out in the wild like enjoying nature and then someone just like take a picture of me. You may find that significant. Also, this needs to be spoken about. Men in relationships take the worst fucking photos.

Inulations. It is fucking true. No man I've ever been dating or into has taken a photo of me and i look at it i'm like wow that's that's such a good photo of me yeah or no man in general but specifically the men you're dating because i don't know what fucking little spell i have you in that all of a sudden you think i look good there like you're lying now you're just letting me know you see me as one of the ugliest people ever exactly you're like kind of into that yeah um for me i feel like i take like decent photos of you now yeah but now you said no man ever no but like it took you literally three years i would say a year ago i

was taking decent photos of you you got no i caught on you got really good when i realized you got really good is when you took photos of Orion and me for like the Celine thing I did. And you took Orion for a thing she did. That was when the like marking of turnaround. But I don't have you take IG photos of me the way I used to. Like I used to be hyper obsessed. Dude, I used to be like a fucking daily. Can you take IG pictures of me today?

I'm like, no. Because I fucking hated myself. And I felt like I had to take pictures. Also, I fully cut off your whole influencer dating thing. I literally, I kind of got all my thoughts out. I just think it would be fucking awful. I genuinely think it would be the worst experience of my life. Yeah, I can say.

I feel like, oh my God. I could see. I can't see myself. I just don't think men should be thirst trapping. There, I said it. No, exactly. I don't think men should be like thirst trapping there i said it no exactly i don't think men should be posting photo dumps either yeah there are no no real men left no they post a photo dump but why the fuck are there three photos of you in this photo dump three selfies why are you taking yourself why are you taking no ew stop i'm sorry but the idea of men like finding good lighting and taking a selfie like Why are you taking... No, ew, stop. I'm sorry, but the idea of men, like, finding good lighting

and taking a selfie, like, no, you need to... If you see good lighting, you should be able to look at the sun and know it's time to go to fucking work. Like, you should be... Go to war, bitch. The only reason you should be clocking sunlight on the floor and good lighting is because... Your farmer... That's the... That's our... No, that's

the female, like, farmer gatherers. No, that's men's work now because it's like oh my god i have to go like farm i have to go like rally up the cattle and put them back inside because 10 to the farm yeah 10 to the farm ew oh my god like i can't i can't i'm gonna freak out at the idea of like men seeing good lighting and like taking out their phone to film a tiktok what are you doing that's what i'm saying like imagine walking on imagine walking in on your significant other making a tiktok i would throw up oh my god i would start crying i would start throwing things at him like actually i would run away and disappear i would disappear from my life

like and but for girls i'm like yeah like no i'm like get it. No, I'm like, get it, girl. You're hot. Get it. You better. Turn it out. But if a man finds himself attractive and is airing it out online. I'm like, now you know you need to work on that personality right now. I know you're insecure. That's my thing is men will curate their look before their personality.

So if you're looking at a man and he's like really invested in his look girl behind this is straight men by the way yeah i'm talking about straight men like if there's like a straight man who's like oh i'm like so into how i look behind that forehead there are no thoughts behind that forehead you are you are in that relationship to be a character development this is like literally killer um the killer is no literally oh my god i would like i'm i'm like actually repulsed if you're dating never mind i'm just like i could keep going forever i was gonna be like imagine dating a straight man influencer and like you're going to events as his plus one now what the fuck are you

doing absolutely why the fuck are we what is happening like why do you want to go have a key like you have to make a house right now you have to go build the house go build our home you can't be having a key you go go be an accountant or something like literally go put that business degree to use you need to go file your fucking taxes i just yeah i just don't believe in straight men having fun. And I'll cut off my rant there because I could, God knows I could go on an anti-man campaign for years. You know what? I'm actually going to start a pro-lubonomy for men campaign.

Oh my God. Yeah, and I'm going and i'm gonna run actually would support lobotomy queen i would support that um yeah so i'll have a petition up soon um we'll do like a parade rally in la on fairfax i literally support it i said um i made a joke about lobotomies the other day and people were really like oh my god like in real life i said a lob made a joke about lobotomies the other day and people were really like, oh my God, like in real life. I said a lobotomy joke. I said the lobotomy joke online and people were pissing me too.

And I was like, um, I'm going to lobotomize all of y'all. Get off fucking Twitter. You got Twitter brain, bitch. No, literally like the internet is so funny how it finds a joke funny for like three minutes and then randomly it decides that like, and actually that's like not chill's like not chill yeah i'm like bitch you know what's not chill your breath you stinky bitch go shower i was gonna say something go wash your fucking clothes yeah i know you got dirty clothes on your bed dirty clothes under your bed oh that's one thing that i just can't like i can't like get with like dirty rooms like now why the fuck are you filming a tiktok

and i can see your whole mush pile of stinky undies behind you at least hide it like please no we have kick it to the corner we have normalized dirty dirty ass rooms like where the fuck is your are your parents your parents aren't telling you they're depressed and yeah hide your depression pile and i know everyone's like oh i want to show the real sides of me on the internet i don't want to see your stained fucking undies in the back of a tiktok you look good you beat your face now kick that pile out of frame and then try again try again yeah i i don't think i've ever just been like a messy person. I think literally my entire life I have just been a clean fucking freak. And it's not even something my parents like forced into me.

They just, I just was. Because I just don't like messy spaces. I think it's like very uncomfortable. My dad drilled being clean into us. I used to be like messy as a kid. Like under my bed was full of shit. And like, oh, it was so bad. And now like my room right now isn't even necessarily messy but it's like driving me insane and i have to clean it

yeah i like when you were gone i completely like mop swept the whole nine yards because i feel like i haven't done that in so long and i did it throughout the house too it was so clean when you got back my presence has made it a little messier like yeah i'm not like the cleanest person ever i just like put things where i like want them when they're where they're easily accessible to me um and then i like come through and i'm like okay we have cabinets and cupboards for a reason but our cabinets and cupboards are all like full of shit we should clean them out oh um my makeup bag i've been doing my makeup in the bathroom and i leave my makeup because i got a new lossy makeup bag that i just leave on the counter and drew put it

i didn't say anything you put it on top of the fucking toilet and all the germophobia in me like literally went to my throat and i'm like i was like i'm literally gonna fucking break out and like die in the next three days because he's gonna give me fucking like ecoli from like putting my shit on here and i like freaked out and then i put it on the towel rack and said word i'm sorry for doing that but it had to be done for my brain you know what it is i have to think i need to start doing my makeup in my room but i hate my vanity and i like i don't i don't know what to do with my room i like need to throw things away and like get rid of shit but i'm attached to all my items and also it just sounds like work i'm like oh i don't want to mama no please i go through and like throw shit away

i'm that's one thing i'm actually really bad at is like keeping like certain little things and pictures and stuff like i don't save all of my photos onto hard drives like i've been trying to get good at that so i have like shit to look back at but i am so like i don't need it now so i won't ever need it and i'll throw it away because i'm like i don't care yeah all of my shit is backed up and i have all my old iphones because i'm like dude one day like like literally last night uh madeline my sister was sending me pictures from our old like yearbooks from second grade and it was cracking me me up. My parents, when we got our yearbooks, we were fucking evil. We would go through and mark out the people we didn't like and write the meanest shit possible. We were in second grade. Half their shit, I'm like,

how the fuck did we know this was something mean to say? It made no sense what we were saying to these people, but I will say every person we marked out was a weirdo freak and ended up being a weirdo freak later in life so i'm not saying our intuition was correct in second grade but i am saying our intuition was correct in second grade because all of them are fucking weirdos now but that's beside the point um literally i think it like my my parents would be like don't mark in your fucking yearbooks and i was like pissed because now my i mean i don't even know what i'm trying to say anymore but basically now you don't have like as much content of like no i'm happy i marked in the fucking yearbooks because they're funnier like they're way way more enjoyable than if i looked back

and was like oh this is like a bear yearbook now i have something to fucking laugh at dude i literally don't have any yearbooks um granted because like we like kind of couldn't afford them and my schools also didn't make them like my school like my elementary school didn't have a yearbook um no grade until like senior year was there ever really an offering of a yearbook like senior year there was and it was like 50 and most of us were like i don't want to spend 50 on that that sounds like a lot um so i don't have anything um i just have like a few like of the school photos but even that like my dad has a storage unit that all of us like stay away from because it's too much shit in there that i actually really want to go in because the one thing i do know that i have from like when i was 14 is every um psychotic dramatic like

depressed young teenager had a fucking shoebox or some shit where they would write like very insane notes and throw them in there and i have like some crazy shit that i wrote and i would love love love to find that box because i know it'll make me so sad my fucking parents when they moved out of like my childhood home i like my room kind of just stayed the same when i like moved out and they um moved all my shit out of my room for me when i moved um and they were like selling the furniture. But in one of my drawers, I had just all of my like really gnarly, sad, like notes, journals, like all this just like really fucked up shit that like no one should see. And I'm pretty sure that like when they went through it, like they saw some of it.

And I trust them enough to like not like go through all my like sad shit. But I like they saw some of it and i i trust them enough to like not like go through all my like sad shit but i know they saw some of it and i was like oh i was like irking inside because like but now i mean i'm i'm like fucking 10 years older now i literally don't give a shit but like yeah it was just uh funny to think about that they probably saw all my like 14 year old thoughts video as we're talking about this i'm thinking about like uh when i went through my big journaling phase even in high school in like junior senior year and all the things i was writing and i have those in the house right now i'm like i want to go look at those because now it's so scary that shit is like

six seven years old which is so terrifying because i remember i read some of that like even like three years ago when i was like this wasn remember i read some of that like even like three years ago when i was like this wasn't that long ago and it's just like kind of embarrassing but now it would be like oh my god this is like almost a decade old like me exaggerating i'm like talking about something from when i was 17 i'm like this is almost a decade old but i guess it kind of is because it's like six years it's like leaning i love growing old someone oh someone actually made a comment where it was like we saw those tumblr posts where you would hate about aging yeah nobody when you're 17 18 it sounds like the worst thing it's 17 18 19 it sounds like the

fucking worst thing ever to grow old but once you hit like 21 it's like okay let's speed up the process like not for me let's keep it going like at least for me literally i it's just it's like okay let's speed up the process like not for me let's keep it going like at least for me literally i it's just it's fucked up that like somehow through all these years i've like i'm i'm only 15 i literally just turned 15 i remember that oh you know what my 16th fucking birthday is actually in march on the 4th like which is crazy i'm super excited to get my fucking license oh yeah um drew's uh age regressing out of paranoia of becoming old so we're just gonna let him go with it exactly no you have to at least please just be turning 21 so we could still go to bars and shit i'm turning 16 okay can you get a fake no bitch why not i don't look 21 at fucking all okay that doesn't matter bouncers literally don't

care like you're being like dramatic i don't know i'm i just be too nervous to like give it to the no because you'd be with all your older friends so you would get in still okay maybe i'll get a fucking fake maybe i mean like six you're just peer pressuring a fucking 15 year old and it's a little weird like i will i was just about to yeah, sure, being 16 in a bar with a lot of adults is very not okay and dangerous and know what to do that. But you're going to be with your other friends who are protecting you. True. If y'all have my back. I'll DD.

I'll be the designated driver. You don't have your license yet. You're 16. All right, 15. Yeah. I can't believe I never got a fake because I was actually so scared of it. Like, you know what it was? I never got a fake, not because of being scared, because I have too big of, like, an ego and pride to get turned down.

Like, it would, like, eat away at me if a bouncer looked and was like yeah this is fake and like turned me around literally in shit ass nowhere texas where we grew up there was nothing more to do i mean there was nothing else to do other than fucking drink in people's attics and that was actually it so we all had fake ids when we were like 16 and everybody in town knew we had fake ids everybody knew who we were like i don't know why they were still selling alcohol alcohol to us but like well because the money yeah literally like there were a few gas stations you could go to without fail and use your fake idea and when i was 16 i did not look 21 and neither did any of my fucking friends like we all looked like

fucking actually 13 year olds like why were you giving us like 30 racks of natty light like obviously how the fuck is that it's like white people culture um it's beer it's like a 30 count beer pack of natural light i have not heard i like forgot that exists but you it is. Yeah, it's the shittiest beer. It's the worst. It's water beer. It like literally like is fucking disgusting, but it's cheap as fucking bones. But it's actually crazy that you mentioned this because I was just talking to this with one of my friends. One time, so we were like, I want to say we were 17 um and me and my buddies like we went to no we were

18 because we went to a club in dallas um and we went to a club in dallas and my friend we were just like on the dance floor um i think it was a lizard lounge if you know the lizard that is the most cursed place on earth i have so many i have so many stories from the lizard lounge in dallas if you know you fucking know that place is evil sinister has very dark energy it fucking sucks anyways we were dancing on the dance floor like whatever and he looked down and found an id on the floor and it was like the holy grail moment it was like holy fucking shit like it looked just like him he He was 21. It was a scannable ID.

Like it was a real ID and it like changed our fucking, we were, I was 17. It changed our lives forever. Cause I had to be snuck into the fucking clubs. Um, anyways, um, we, uh, took this ID back to, um, my hometown Granbury and like we use it at all these places. It was like goingbury, and we used it in all these places. It was going well. We used it for three months, I want to say. It was the jackpot. We were not going to get caught.

It wasn't going to fail, whatever. A side note, my hometown is two hours away from the club that we found this at, so it's like a two-hour drive to this club well we're just like using it like literally like i said it was like hitting the jackpot well we try it at this new gas station that we've never been to or that we've been to but like is notorious for taking like fake ids like she knows like you're not getting past her like she's not going to jail because she sold a 16 year old some fucking beer whatever we go there because we're like oh it's a real id like she's not gonna know and we give it to her and like i'm standing behind my friend and uh she looks at the id and she's like this isn't you

and he's like yeah it is it's it's me like what are you talking about and she's like no it's not fucking you this is my nephew and literally i don't know what the chances are of that fucking happening but i'm pretty sure he was in the military and like away like on duty or whatever the fuck like i don't even know why like whatever that's beside the point but like he literally he was like away in like serving the army or some shit and this fucking id like sure enough like was her nephew and she was like i'm gonna call the fucking cops like this is fucking insane y'all are insane people like what the fuck are you doing with my nephew's id like started freaking out and like we just ran away and like she kept the id but like the chances of that happening are like zero and

i can't fucking awesome cannot believe that fucking happened her nephew two hours away was just on the bottom like on the floor of a club like that the chances are that he may sound like he's like dead literally like her nephew two hours away on the floor of a club um found dead in his london i don't have any stories like that because i just never did shit like that actually um there is this id like like a fake that Orion has had for like ever. What's her name? I feel like I shouldn't say it. Should we bleep it?

Say it and bleep it. Yeah, say it. I'm going to say it and bleep it. Yes, miss. But she like, she doesn't really look like Orion or me. She just has like a very like, you know when you bitches love to tag me and like any other Latina girl with like a wide face

and you're like, oh, this is you because like everyone assumes that like, because I have a wide face, like I'm going to look like every other Latina on the internet. That's kind of the vibe that this ID was giving where it was like, she just had the same like face width as me and Orion.

So like it worked um and i remember the first time i was using it i was oh i was so fucking panicked about it because i was like they're gonna know they're gonna know but like i don't think a lot of bouncers especially when you're like around other people who are actually 21 and up actually give a fuck no especially in la like it's actually fucked up like i've been in a club and there has been like a 15 year old at one of these like la parties and i'm like who invited this with a red bull vodka yeah and like trying to order me a drink and i'm like i'm like who so fucking embarrassing i don't get hit on i no one talks to me and one of the only

times a person has been like oh let me buy you a drink it's been a fucking random minor who i'm like why are you in here it was the most insane scenario i've ever been and then i just had to play nice because i didn't want to like embarrass the fuck out of this child and i was like oh okay go ahead and they got me a drink and i literally grabbed it and then pushed it at the end of the other side of the bar and walked away and then I was like that was the most embarrassing experience of my life um me

it's humbling me with my literal child being like what do you want literally like that's how I felt cause they had no idea what to order they were like what are you getting I'll get one for you and I was like oh my god you need to go home someone if only if you could say the name it literally, it would be so much funnier.

It would be fucking insane. It's, it's just literally like insane. Who it is is so funny. It is. Um, but I won't make fun of them like that. Um, or like, I won't publicly shame them. Cause they literally are a fucking 15 year old. They're a child.

And I just like, I always feel bad because I'm Because they literally are a fucking 15 year old. They're a child and I just like, I always feel bad because I'm like, there's a line between like being a child and like having fun and then like being a child in an environment where it's like only adults. I'm like, you. You're in a dangerous situation.

Your parents need to, your parents need to fucking throw an air tag in your pocket and like track you. Track your ass. Like. Dude, the crazy thing is, is that like these kids are all like child stars and they like pay their fucking ow i just fucking had electric no electricity

electricity fucking zapped through my leg holy shit um but yeah they're like paying their parents bills so if their parents speak to them they're like fuck you exactly um and that's why if i do have a baby i won't give it an an iPad and I'll tell it that there's nothing outside of our house. So it doesn't believe. I'm going to gypsy rosify my baby. Yes. The funny thing is, as like a teenager, one of my really cynical, funny memories that

I have is me and Dante. We were like always just making up really fucked up hypotheticals. And this is such a fucked up hypothetical but the fact that when i was making this joke the gypsy rose thing was happening and i had no idea because i didn't know about it until like 2017 2018 i literally made a joke to dante where i was like i'm gonna have a baby just to like fuck around and see how far i can take like lying and like borderline abusing it until like i get gypsy rose blanchardiana yeah and so i was i remember i was telling dante i was like i'm just gonna tell the kid it's this is so fucked up but like it's literally what gypsy rose mom did to her but i literally told dante i was like oh i'm gonna have a kid and like convince it it can't use its legs

and like be like no you can't walk like the doctor said so and like get fake doctors to tell it this information and then i was like and then one day i'm like a little lenient and i'm like okay fine you can invite a friend over and then like the friends are all hanging out in the room with my kid and they're like have you ever even tried to stand up and my kid's like no my mom always told me i couldn't and like the friends are like just try and then i walk in on the kids standing and i freak the fuck out and i'm like um and yeah that's a really fucked up thing I said as a 15-year-old amongst a lot of things. But it's okay because at least I didn't do it. Yeah.

I mean, there's still time. Yeah. That's in my 30s. I enter my, what's the name of gypsy, like the thing. Munchausen syndrome. I'm going to enter my Munchausen syndrome in my 30s. In my like mid-30s. You could just do that to me you could you could

no because you would like that exactly you you are you could no we could take over the fucking world together everybody has seen you move bitch what are you about to do i could get in a car wreck i could get in a car wreck i mentioned in the last episode that i've seen a lot of people die and i feel like not people don't believe me but i have seen a lot of people die i think i have an omen oh my god like we were almost done with this episode you you like could not you couldn't not squeeze it in no because i just thought about it i was like i have seen a lot of death um like okay i won't get into it, but. Oh, I know what you're going to mention.

Your live text to me. I'll save it. No, no, not even that one. I forgot about that one. I have like three more deaths that literally happened in front of me. One when I was nine. Dude, actually two of them happened in the same fucking year when I was like nine years old. And I remember them so fucking

vividly like i'm not kidding this close like people dying in front of me oh my um personally i haven't experienced that which is why i'm not kidding people don't believe me when i say i'm like buttfuck stupid but it's by choice like i do a really good job at turning my fucking brain off like i said in the last episode like it's usually on like autopilot mode and then sometimes i have to spark my brain up with like on some like plugging your car in and revving the engine like that's what i have to do to my literal brain to get myself to have certain conversations but for the most part i'm just on autopilot and i couldn't care less i'm so like disconnected from my own reality like it's a big fat joke to me i'm trying so hard to enter my npc

era where i just like exist and i'm just a background character in everybody else's life it's just like so hard for me to do that so hard for me not to be the main character everyone thinking they're the fucking main character that's a fucking disease girl i didn't see you at the grocery store i don't care what you were wearing. I didn't fucking look. But you saw me. I saw you because you won't shut the fuck up. Exactly. I will say, I don't think I'm the main character, but I do like when people look at me in public.

Like, I love screaming in public and being annoying in public. I'm not kidding. Nothing beats that feeling. I don't even, like, if someone told me, okay, you could either never have sex again again in your life or you could never scream and shout and be obnoxious in public i'd be like all right i'm entering my celibacy era wing bot can take it from here i'll be okay because i love screaming in public josh's sex robot theory if everybody had a sex robot life would be so much better i oh my god i won't go into it i'm like let me stop talking about sex so that like our podcast doesn't get fully demonetized but

yeah i i say i say the s word so much that like the podcast at this point things were like having like an s positive like debate every time we get on here it It is interesting how. The iPhone 13 is released. And they got a little slick with it. Apple got a little slick with it. But it's interesting how. Six months after. The iPhone 13 was released. My phone is now buggy as shit.

You and every other dumb fuck. On the internet says that shit. But it's true. It's true. All of my apps are crashing. It's not. That doesn't happen. All of my apps fucking crash now.

I never once has TikTok or Instagram or anything fucking crashed on my phone. And now they're all crashing. When's the last time you updated your phone? Like, I don't want to say like. Exactly. Like, that's your own fault. That's not a thing. I hate that theory.

I'm like, y'all are fucking dumb. Get off your phone. I think that actually was proven true i think how about this people get off your fucking phone kai it was proven true right that they literally throttle your phone on purpose yeah it was proven but i think there's like a weird nuance to it where when your battery gets older um the iphone will throttle the cpu so that it doesn't die faster or something like that was the excuse that apple said oh so it's true no i i still believe that it's like it's like when someone shows you like um a car or like someone you know gets a certain model of a car and now all of a sudden when you're driving you notice that car a lot more and you feel like you're seeing it a lot more but it's because it was pointed out to you that me and my schizophrenic era i was literally in my schizophrenic era i was being gangsta dude i'm not kidding every time i saw a car with a headlight out on the right

side okay i love you with all my. But sometimes you do shit like that. And I'm like. If you were my kid. I would smack you so hard. In the back of the head. Because like. I genuinely thought. I was being followed.

I'm like. I'm like. You want a problem so bad. Bitch. I'm going to give you a fucking problem. Like. Drew is so annoying. And he'll.

Like. He'll be in the car with me. It's not. I can't even control it. And talk about some. Oh. I see this light all the time. So.

I'm going to fucking. Like. We're going to crash. I'm driving bitch. Keep that shit to yourself. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Also, of course, you see it. You're doing nothing.

You're like sitting in my passenger seat, bored as shit. And like you use your phone for like 30 minutes. No, but we're not talking about those rainbow lights right outside our house on the fucking. I will say I don't know what that is and I don't know that it's eerie, though. Oh, I remember one time I got into a really really big like Debate with someone I knew Like a few years ago about privacy And like I don't give a fuck

About my privacy I'm literally a public figure Y'all sell my data I don't give a shit Sell my data look at my tits look at my coochie Like I don't care like I literally don't care I'm doing nothing wrong why should I care I'm like I'm not laundering money i'm not like looking at shit i shouldn't be looking at your if you want to like stalk me like the fbi agent behind my

camera wherever the fuck the dumb joke y'all make is like go ahead you're gonna see me taking a fast shit you're gonna see me like watching tiktoks you're gonna see me like using my phone in the shower sometimes because i'm a fucking lunatic wait the kodak video of him live in the shower and it falls into the bottom of the shower and you see his fucking gooch and wiener that shit is the funniest fucking thing i've ever seen in my life and then it just like slagging out kind of um but yeah i remember that and then like the person i was arguing with got really mad they were like i want my privacy i was like you're fucking boring like no one cares to look at what you're looking at like dude and we were in the middle of like i genuinely i do need to educate myself on that more because like when people are like you need like

they're taking away your privacy like what are they taking away that like is not like i don't i don't get the conversation yeah i guess maybe maybe i'm uneducated but again i like that i like the simplicity that my little like fucking you're just another cog in the machine and i don't give a fuck you're a pawn in their game if i can buy my cute little clothes and go on depop and like distract myself and like do my little tasks like you're a pawn in their capitalistic game they were like they were like it's not okay that like oh they were taking the take which like for them they like i think the reason this argument pissed me off is because they didn't care about it for like any other reason that they were just like being annoying and they were like but i want my privacy i'm like girl you're like white

what the fuck are you scared of like you don't need your privacy oh because they were like oh there's like surveillance cameras on every corner now and like cameras when you walk into restaurants and i was like literally that's not affecting me like i don't care like i would post a tiktok in here anyway so why the fuck do i care like why are we having this conversation like they want their privacy in the off chance that they do commit a crime like i'm confused like why do you care if there's cameras filming you all the time like i'm like it's not like you're saying like oh like i'm worried because there are some people who like have to steal to live and like now with the technology it's like not even that argument it's just like i want i don't want to be seen i'm like girl no one's looking anyway like congrats like no one

cares um but yeah that's my take um i'm sure there's one of you big brain bitches out there who can like explain to me why it's bad but how about you do that but in a nice non-condescending way how about we try that for once how about we try educating each other in a non-condescending asshole fucking bitch way i'm tired of like literally like like saying one thing wrong and then everyone being fucking assholes about it i'm like okay how about you just say it like oh actually this was like kind of like wrong like don't say that um say this well no because um the internet it's a moral game yeah it's a moral game and it's black and white and there is no middle context exactly you do this or that and no one fucking cares um and you know what y'all can play that game but once my iphone

screen locks it's all gone babe i'm not on twitter anymore i'm not on twitter anymore it's gone i'm like you know what i don't i don't have to look at what you're saying. I'm locking my iPhone right now. Lock. Dude, that's the funniest thing about arguing on the internet is literally like, it's like hanging up on a bitch. It's not real. Yeah, I'm like.

It's not real. Who was saying, oh, that girl Cola Monkey like always says that. And I think it's so funny and such a like blissful take as like a young person. Because I feel like now, I feel bad for young people because of course there are the pros to being educated like highly educated at that age so you don't make mistakes a lot of us made as younger people and you're like well educated but to a certain extent a lot of it is like this like deep deep rage for like moral hierarchy that young people shouldn't have because especially as a young person like you have not experienced nearly enough to have played the game in real life of like

learning rights and wrongs and learning what makes you feel good what makes other people feel good or bad or blah blah blah and cola monkey is always like jokingly but like obviously seriously being like y'all are so fucking annoying and angry on my phone like you're literally on my iphone like i can like i can just lock it and then you are silent like you like this isn't real like y'all have to like just like stop and i'm like that is literally it like i can i can delete this app and you're fully destroyed like you're like you don't exist anymore my life has gotten so much fucking better like like, ever since I realized that, like, the internet does not matter. It doesn't matter.

It's not real. No, it's not even, like, I'm, like, this is, like, for fun, and it's fun, and of course I learn things here, and I further educate myself here, but the last thing I'm gonna do is have a stranger yell at me. You know what's terrifying is i thought the internet was tiny but then i like like just like try like did some research and over i think it's like 60 percent of humans on earth have accessed the internet in the last year but really it's like also the argument of like a lot of the energy that you can carry out online like it just

doesn't translate to real life because humans don't talk to each other like that yeah you you will find that people in real life are a lot more careful with the way they talk to other people because it's a lot different when you're like trying to verbalize a lot of this stuff to the face of someone else like unless you're a fucking psychopath most people if they're saying something to someone and it's obviously building physical fucking discomfort you stop and you like reevaluate how you're carrying yourself with other people but other than that the internet is fun it can be fun is a great play it's like the saying everything is good in moderation and that's how i fill out the

internet um and i love when people i just so badly want to be put into the metaverse already like i don't give a shit like everybody's so anti-metaverse i'm like fucking beam me up please like i'm done in this physical body that's failing the thing is you're gonna be in a physical body like they're gonna put big heavy goggles on you that are gonna hurt your head and you're like oh like i need to take this off we'll be no we'll be uploaded into the cloud not in your lifetime in our lifetime yeah we will it's growing so quickly it's like i just feel really the neural link is already happening it's like it's gonna be you and like every other white dude who's like way too invested in vr and like actually you know what never mind if that's i'm like that is good if we could like just elevate all like the white dudes who are like really into

finance and like crypto and shit into a different world where i never have to like see them again that actually might be one of the best things to happen that's actually hell that's pretty good i know i'm like all of the only y'all are like, I want to go there. Ain't no bitches there. Go have fun. How about you fucking upload your, yeah, uploading some bitches into your consciousness. But yeah, maybe that'll be good. Cause I would love to stay here in real life and do my shopping in real life. I just don't, girl, shut the fuck up. I just, yeah, no one, you couldn't pay me money to like convince me about virtual reality i just like again maybe it's because i'm just not educated but like i've

tried to be educated about it i literally like there's not i don't want to go anywhere that mark zuckerberg is telling me i should go that is the last place i'm going like and i just think it's an inevitable future and not in my time, babes. Like, I'm also sorry. I just don't believe that that's going to, like, be a thing in our time. Actually, it is a capitalistic hellscape. And I just want to make it clear that I don't actually want to be uploaded into the fucking metaverse. I'm just joking. But I do want the Neuralink installed.

I was going to say, you kind of do want that. I want the Neuralink. But, like, isn't that you kind of do want that. I want the Neuralink. Isn't that just going to lead to being in a virtual reality? Maybe. We'll see. I also just don't believe that that's in the future. It's just not accessible to most people. So I'm like, how is that the future?

We'll figure it out. Capitalism always wins. Not in my books. Not in my books, babes.'m actually did y'all know that i solely me i'm gonna destroy capitalism soon actually yeah um a part of my lobotomy plan there is a capitalism plan like tied into that the lobotomies do have to come first which is like pretty obnoxious especially because like two and two on the lobotomy i do have to engage in capitalism because obviously i i don't I don't have the equipment.

You could crowdfund it with every other person on earth. I would like the lobotomies to be done by a professional. Like little old me shouldn't be committing the lobotomies. A crowdfund. Oh, we could do a crowd. A GoFundMe. Not a GoFundMe. A Kickstarter for I'll have someone create like a lobotomy machine and then we could do a Kickstarter um a go fund me not a go fund me a kickstarter for i'll have someone create like

a lobotomy machine and then we could do a kickstarter for that and then like have it ready and we'll go from there i'll figure it out but the next just no and you're destroying capitalism utopia coming soon yeah um there's no utopia under capitalism we'll end it on that let's do some questions from the patreon okay mama asked favorite arowana products oh hey that's such a mean question to like answer because like ar ones are only in in la right i think so yeah they're adding one to new york soon oh i'm moving the way that was literally a concern of ours we were like wait if we moved here we wouldn't have air one anymore though like that was a genuine concern um i like uh the buffalo cauliflower

and the macaroni and cheese from the hot case and then also the all the little mini shots yeah all their juices are really good but one thing i really liked that i never see anymore and i don't know if i always go there where it's sold out because when it's sold out because i'll see that the sign is still out for it but they had the kelp pesto pasta that was so fucking good and i haven't seen it for a long time and that's really upsetting and the asian chicken salad they do i want to go buy another one yeah i'm i'm gonna have my macrobiotic salad today for lunch and it's gonna change everything for me it's gonna flip my day upside down oh also if you have like an issue with wait i'm gonna grab it out of the fridge actually

um this one's so old and i don't even think i could like take it ah but i'm sure they sell this other places but i'm sure i've talked about it on the podcast before is how i have like a big issue with my stomach hurting really fucking bad after I eat certain things and bloating up like really poorly um this thing aloe herbal stomach formula I think it has like um marshmallow root yeah so it's like specifically marshmallow root peppermint leaf chamomile leaf barrage leaf ginger root it's like a bunch of shit but it's the marshmallow root that stops the bloating and stops your stomach from hurting and this shit fucking works like there was a guy and then i have marshmallow root vitamins that i got from air one two are like

little capsules that are like they're supposed to be tums but natural and they work just like tums um and then you don't have to take tums and ruin your liver lining and kidneys with Tums. ODing on Tums. And that's it. Did you know that's a thing? You can take too many Tums and you become too basic, like your acidity levels. There's a word for it. I will say when I take Tums instead of these natural ones,

my acid reflux is really bad after taking a Tums. Like, like I'll take it to like subdue the acid reflux, but then the next two days my acid reflux is like even worse. Oh yeah, but that's my answer. Sel asks, what made y'all move to los angeles mistakes work yeah literally work um work and i used to love it here yeah we just had that conversation yeah but oh we had it in real life yeah i wrote here um yeah just work and all my friends are moving like all my internet friends are moving and i was like i am probably gonna only have this opportunity once in my fucking lifetime

i can always go back to college if i really need to i'm just gonna take this opportunity and see where it takes me and so far so good yeah literally that was it for me too and then i did love it because i was like oh it's like the non-humid, humid version of Miami in terms of weather. And I was like, that's like amazing. But now the weather scares the fuck out of me because every day feels the same and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I also want to clarify when we say we don't like LA,

it's not on like the usual influencer shit where it's like, I'm some privileged white person who moved into like a very like abundantly cultural city. And'm like everyone here is fake i fucking hate it when i'm actually just talking about like the other white people in entertainment um i'm very cognizant of the fact that la rocks but i just don't think it's for me yeah i need seasons i need isolation i need grass yeah i literally just need seasons i'm like i can't like every day feels the same and i'm losing my fucking mind but yeah that's that's our la vibe megan asks advice for being in a creative rut girl if you find out let me know um i think just don't put pressure on it

it'll pass that's like kind of it this too shall pass yeah it's just like the more pressure you put on it almost the deeper you'll dig yourself into the rut because then you'll start to feel really like upset with yourself and resentful towards yourself because you're not creating anything and that'll only keep you down longer and if you just kind of like let go go out go experience things you'll find inspiration outside of your room where i'm sure you're like trying to rack your brain for some inspiration yeah that's actually a good like go experience fucking life i think we we were just talking about that with josh like literally i think my most of my inspiration for anything i've ever done is just like literally

going and fucking living um instead of just being locked inside all day and working. So go experience some life. Is that it? Oh, yeah. Serve. Media. Media of the week. What is the Lohanthony thing?

New videos every week. Lohanthony? I didn't actually ever watch Lohanthony videos. I was a stan of Lohanthony thing? New videos every week. Lohanthony? I didn't actually ever watch Lohanthony videos. I was a stan of Lohanthony. Me and him got into beef once and I made fun of his crooked teeth. And I felt really bad about it because then we like became. We like squashed the beef after. Squashed the beef.

Okay. I'm going to go first. Death Metal by Panchico. Where Did He Come From by Sunday. And You Can Fly On My Aeroplane by We. And also Mary Jane, All Night Long, Mary J. Blige. Because what a just classic. What a hit.

What a certified emergency intercom you know what's such a serve when you just like a bunch of songs and you don't make a playlist but then you like listen to all your recently liked songs and they sound really good together and you're like wow i'm a genius and i don't even have to think about it uh okay moon age duster um Age Duster, Circles Taurus, and Summer Rain by Wosum and Youngling. Serve. And then, oh, actually, yesterday I binged the whole second part of season two, Pen15. One of the funniest shows ever. Yeah, literally.

Such good fucking writing. Like like all three of us were sitting there cracking the fuck up like it's just like i just know it was so fucking fun to write um and that's inspiring and that's it for media of the week i slay you slay we all my media of the week is the new call of duty warzone map called Dara. Come on, people. If y'all knew how much Drew like sits in his room and plays Call of Duty, you would be. It's not that much. It's like max two hours a day. No, you tap in.

No, the last two days have been a lot because the map that originally started Warzone was going away. And I was like getting kind of sentimental and emotional. So I was like, you know, like I'm just going to gonna let myself be in play but not every time i'm in my room am i playing you tap in for like four hours absolutely not not every fucking time there are times yeah but that's not every time there are times when you're at war in your room for hours and i don't see you for the rest of the day yes all right that's it um thank you so much for tapping into this episode tap tap tap tap tap tap that subscribe button tap that all on the flow all right bye Outro Music