Emergency Intercom - Country girls make due

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

Someone told Enya that she curses too much, Drew has body teasmorphia and ky opened the stink portal in the studio Go to https://Zocdoc.com/INTERCOM to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/EMERGENCY10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Start selling today and sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, flights on Air Canada. How about Prague? Ooh, Paris. Those gardens. Gardens. Um, Amsterdam. Tulip Festival. I see your festival and raise you a carnival in Venice. Or Bermuda has carnaval. Ooh, colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom. Book it. Um, how did we get to Thailand from Prague?

Oh, right. Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations. If you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. I'm gonna be a Smell like rotten milk. I thought y'all found an old latte and like you and Josie opened it up and like I know you were like, what did you open? What did you open girl? I walked into the room and I like went to like mess with the camera and Josiah was like, what is that smell? What is that smell and was like kind of blaming the smell on me. And then I made a joke being like,

oh, that was my balls. Hey, that's my balls. He was like, your balls smell milky, Drew. Like something's seriously wrong. And then we put the pieces together and Kai fucking sprayed hella liquid ass all over the bathroom. I wanted to do a workplace prank and-

Literally gassed us out. I know. You kind of like like that I immediately like cause he like hot boxed the fucking studio, like it literally smells like pure shit and fucking ass. And also what's worse is it was how many of y'all like five, six bodies in this room. And we all ran out and wafted the scent down the hall. So now the house just smells like an inking of shit. What is that? What the fuck did you do?

Wait, I didn't leave anything in the bathroom. What the fuck did you do, Kai? What is that smell? What the fuck did you do? This is traumatic. What is that smell, Kai? I sprayed liquid ass in the bathroom. Why? It literally smells like when I got bullied as a fucking kid.

Oh fuck. Kai, that stinks. That's crazy to do. I thought it was funny. Get in here. Inya! Ew! No, that's gross.

And I know how you're gonna do that. That's so nasty. What did you do? Oh, come on. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew! No, that's gross. And I know how you're gonna do that. That's so nasty. What did you open?

Oh, come on. It was liquid ass. That is fucking gross, dude. That is so nasty. That is so... Ew, it's like balls. No, it really stains your nostrils. No.

Oh, fuck! It doesn't get buried. Josiah literally being like, it smells milky. Stains your nostrils Josiah literally being like it smells milky Josiah really rationalized me smelling I was like, oh, I'm gonna do something nice for Kai like I'm gonna go get grab his phone from the bathroom I was like, yeah, of course. I'll do that for you. He sent you in there Yeah, sent me in there and I'll do that for you. Wait, he sent you in there? He sent me in there. My voice cracked, because I was so shocked by that. That is crazy, because I know damn well, you got a spray in and you knew it was overwhelming,

and you were just committed to your three little fucking sprays, and you did it, and I know damn well you knew how bad it smelled. The plan was to spray it into the toilet, and then come out and be like, can you grab my phone? And then you would think that I was really sick

with that spray. That was my knee jerk thought. My knee jerk thought was like, oh my God my phone? And then you would think that I was really sick. Well no, that was my knee jerk thought. My knee jerk thought was like, oh my God, Kai, and then I put the pieces together. I thought you shit in the bathroom and you knew it smelled so bad that you sent me in there to smell it. And I was pissed about that because I was like, doo doo flakes going in my fucking brain,

brain eating amoeba, like doo doo flakes. But I guess it's a given to taking yin and yang. If you think about it, literally everything is a given to taking yin and yang. If you think about it, literally everything is a given to take a yin and yang because he set up our wifi throughout our house today and then just decided to immediately eradicate the good deed he did. Yeah, after I was being nice to you,

bitch, never again, never again. Cause even when I was like complimenting Ky in the hallway when it came out of my mouth, I was like, ooh. Like, I was like. Yeah, and you complimented my midriff. Yeah. He was doing it on purpose. It was like, actually, like I was like, yeah, and you complimented my midriff. Yeah, he was doing it on purpose. It was like, actually, like I was looking at it like I complimented it because I was like, honestly, in this moment, you were the closest to me

I've ever seen you, which is just like you want to compliment so bad. And like, I can see myself in that. So no, Kai was giving bodies to I was giving. Well, I'm always giving body is tea. I just like, who said that every now and then? Like, I'm always giving body is tea. I just like every now and then. Like I have always consistently. Kai, did you say that? Since birth actually, that's what the doctors are like,

wow, she's gonna throw into a gorgeous woman. They diagnosed you with body tea. Body tea's Morphea. That's what I have. You heard of body dysmorphia. I have body tease morphia. It's like not good. I can't lie. It's like not very good.

Well, I got my nails done again. This is I guess is going to become my new thing is like every time I get my nails done, I tell y'all why and how I got here. This was actually intentional. And the woman who did them absolutely fucking hated. Do they look like shit. Eww what? Like, kill her. I feel like I just saw you in like a Disney movie. Does that make sense?

Like and you would like eat the part up like you would eat it up. It was you if you were straight and evil. If. If. I was, come on. Neither of those need an F He is I am evil and straight kind Mm-hmm. I was just trying to add to the bit

Hold on wait, let me read this the nail woman hates you. Oh Yeah, the nail lady hated me when I first got there she was vibing with me but um I was getting my nails and my toes done at the same time and I have a really like I don't know how to position my hands I'm like so overly aware when they're like going in the machines because I'm very quick with my emotions and so many times I have fucked up every time I get my nails done. I fuck up the work and it completely shifts the vibe I have going with this person because what's crazy is I was vibing so hard with her when I got there that I said vibe so good. I want to show my nail tech my phone.

Like, do you have two notes? No, this is just like a newer one. Sometimes I can't find it and I'm like, fuck, like I might as well just start. It was like a newer one. Sometimes I can't find it and I'm like fuck like I might as well just It was like holy shit. And yeah, also it's three and It no, it's just like I have like a better note Okay, also like so quick to crack your fucking neck and look at my phone. Yeah, my fucking say that shit They put the I in front of you because it's mine actually. Oh my god wasn't that wasn't cool Oh my fucking God.

I am gay, but I'm not a fucking stereotypical gay person. I'm not a, oh my gosh, let's go get some shoes gay. Nor am I an uh-huh honey gay. I put, I don't put makeup on, I do not refer to other men as girls. I don't own a single Prada bag. The only rainbow I fuck with is in my Lucky Charms cereal. And I do not worse up Beyonce, Gaga or Madonna. I enjoy sports. I like

getting sweaty and dirty. Hello. And I love the Lord with all my heart. I just happen to be a man who likes men. I am gay. I'm bleeping that. Why would you bleep that? Yeah, what's so bad about that? Me who you are. It's crazy how Kai wants to call me gay when I'm a straight man and it's crazy he wants to call me straight and bleep out my identity when i'm gay when you're gay it's really it's not that

hard to understand like what is so hard to get about that what is so hard to understand? It's so fucking annoying, bro. Oh my god. Also one of my notes was, are lice not a problem anymore? And then you showed me that nasty fucking thing. I don't even know if we can show it. It's fucking gross. This video is crazy and I don't want to put it up, but it's this woman who's basically fingering her mouth and there is a single lice crawling around her peach fuzz. And then she died. And she was giving sexy, she was serving, and she was eating, and she is a beautiful girl, but I don't know if it was rage bait, comment bait, or she just wanted me to masturbate. To the...

Sorry. That was actually really good. Yeah, if you'd seen the video, you would get that it was really good. It was really good. No, but you've seen the video you would get like, it was really good. It was like really good. No, but she just had a single lice in her mustache. It looked like a single lice roaming around pubes, essentially. It was gross.

It was her fingering her own mouth from the side. It was the craziest video ever and it was on Instagram. Wait guys, hold on. How many seconds in or minutes in are we? We're only 30 seconds in. Wait, but for real. Nine minutes and 30 seconds. We haven't made a joke about having sex with each other yet Yeah, that's true. I don't wanna like I'm over that. Yeah, we're done with that. I'm tapped out. I'm having a love search for you guys That's to yourself. Okay I love you so much. I literally was in such a dark place last night.

Oh, boom. And ironically though, I was really scared. I know, I felt really bad because I had the best night of my fucking life. Hold on, hold on, hold on. For some reason, when I get violently depressed, my knee-jerk reaction is to text Kai how depressed I am. Oh, because you guys are trauma bonding.

I think that might be what it is. Are we chemically bonded yet, Kai, would you say? I think so. Yeah, I feel like we're, and we've. And we are also and yet, whether you like it or not. Back up. What the fuck? I know.

Sorry. Kai tried to maintain eye contact with me for that and I looked away. I literally I like did I did not give that to me. Kai had a moment in our room where like he looked at me. Who is the R because it could be us but I think it might be y'all. It's mine and Kai. It's mine. I sleep in y'all's room every night. In my room by Frank Ocean and he looked at me and then there was a moment of awkwardness and he looked away really quick and I was like, what the fuck was that Kai? And it was real, it was real, what did you say?

I said you're getting too attractive where it's actually kind of intimidating to look at you. And I mean that, and I don't mean it in like a homoerotic way. Well, you're making him mew all over the place, so. I just can't stop mewing. I really just can't stop mewing. Yeah, you guys are both just looking so yassified recently

and I feel like you're leaving me in the dust. It's just, I can't stop getting work done, honestly. Yeah. We actually, that is the topic for today's episode. We're addicted. Like I'm addicted to what that needle did. Like I'm addicted. I'm addicted to what that needle did.

I've never gotten anything done because I genuinely, it is not from a high horse. It is genuinely one of my OCD fears is I think I have bad luck medically and cosmetically, which is not true. I just had too many weird experiences, but I have had like the worst. I've had another satisfied customer extension. Yeah. Most of the time when I get my nails done, most of the time

when I get my nails done, it's bunk. I've had my hair fried by like multiple people including myself. So I just have always had this inkling in my heart that if no matter if I went to the top of the line I would catch them on a bad day. Like I just have a feeling it's like the way I feel about how I felt about flying airplanes. Because I fly the airplane thought apparently the new rehearsal is really good and it's all about plane crash with Nathan Fielder rolling my eyes really that I'm playing hard to get is he single Nathan Fielder and me

Nathan Fielder bitch what what about Kai, can you explain them the work you've got done recently? The work that I got done? What worked? The work. The work Drew put in? The work that you gave me? Yeah. I f bone stretching surgery. Yeah, Kai stretched his-

So now I'm 5'11". No, but you were originally 5'2", and now you're about 5'5". I hate that Kai is 5'5", and has 6'3 energy. No, and it, because it doesn't- No, 6'3 energy is crazy, because you're like 5'5", but you kind of have like five four eight size six

Why she wait? No, I have six three. What everyone agrees this literally isn't a joke this This isn't a joke. Kai wears a size six shoe That is a joke. I have no every time he's here like I see his shoes I'm always like dude who is shoes and I'm always like, dude, who is here? And I'm assuming maybe like- Who's toddler did? Who's brother did it? Like someone has a girl over.

Whose dog is here? Yeah, I'm usually like someone has a girl over, I should sneak around and boom, it's Kai. All right, it's all really funny, but guys, I have like a very large masculine footprint. Kai betters. I low key think I have big feet. I saw Kai's feet for the first time the other day

in a long time and they look good. No, that's not like you need to chill because in the last episode you were talking about his feet and you made him pull his feet out. Or was that in the Patreon episode? The one where he sucked them up? No, no, no, no. That was Patreon.

Stop. Because I wouldn't put myself through that. So don't even put me into that equation. I wasn't there. Okay. Wait, but can we go back to what I said that you ignored? I was in a very dark, violent, sad place the other night, last night. Um, it was really scary. It was really scary. And it just came on quick. I was, in the Sun By your own fucking demise like he had the option to have the most beautiful no no no no no I'm not blaming this on You babe, I'm like

It did I was laying in the sun. It felt like an off Sunday. I was laying in the sun, it was Easter, it was 420. I had such a good day, we ate a plate of fruit. It was nice, I ate fruit. Yeah. Which is rare for me, apparently. That was surprising.

Apparently. And then I get to my room and I'm laying there, and then it just comes on, and I'm like there and then it just comes on and I'm like really sad Text Kai some really weird shit Weird sexual stuff. I forgot he was at Coachella I always I always I was at zed when I got that and you looked at it and ignored it I did because it's called boundaries Uh, it's called

Anyway, I just didn't respond to him within 30 seconds. It was bullshit. And to Drew that means. Bro, the best part about my brain is because I am so forgetful just in general. I was going to curse, but I'm trying not to curse as much because I got told recently that a walk away from meeting me was that I was really funny, but I curse a lot.

It was somebody who interviewed me. They didn't say it like a bad thing, but they were like, wow, she really curses. Yeah, she can curse. They clocked your shit. So I'm trying not to. I did. I texted Kai this really sad shit. He ignored me, and then I texted him five hours later,

and said, if heaven is so good, why isn't every Christian killing themselves to get up there? And then Kai said, it's because suicide sends you straight to hell. And then I said, God forgives. That's exactly right. And then I tried to book therapy.

I really did. I literally tried I was like You know what like it's time like I even was stopped you cuz oh trust your will get there I was literally like booking my therapy appointment and I was like, oh, yeah, literally I'm gonna I'm just gonna do it I'm gonna do it and that's a big step. Yeah, I know that is insane cuz I'm sure trying to Know literally even to venture in that territory That's a big step. Yeah, I know that is insane. Cause I've been trying to, No, literally even to venture in that territory. I've always been like, girl, this shit is not for me. And then I had a revelation when I was journaling. I was like, girl, therapy didn't work for me

when I was like undeveloped and high on drugs. Like, of course it wasn't gonna work for me. Like maybe it'll work for me now as an adult. So I went to book it. Apple Pay did not let me pay. It would not let me pay for therapy. Oh, you could have gotten up and typed out your information and everything. Or my wallet was on the other side of the room. Or like calls. Y'all know how far that walk is.

You probably should have like hold on to this. No, vouch for me. You know how far that walk is. Hold on. No vouch for me You know how far the walk is from my bed to my desk. This is like it um Apple pay literally got my ass. They they literally it was a sign from god and you know how I am about signs I'm like, oh apple pay is not working like you seriously like have ocd like it's not like enough with the sign have OCD, like it's not like enough with the sign. or a telehealth option for a quick care. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about hundreds of thousands of doctors

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It is the only way. It is the only way I get to a doctor. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash intercom to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O- c dot com slash intercom. Zocdoc.com slash intercom. Hey guys, we wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors SeatGeek.

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Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you SeatGeek! But yeah, are lice still a problem? Because lice were a huge problem when I was growing up and I feel like I've talked about this but like it's just cuz kids Aren't around us. It's still a thing. Yeah, so but I none of my cousins like I don't hear any Gossip about any of my cousins or anybody because I have like younger wait Did you were you the one that told me that bacterial bacterial? Vaginous like an STD is an STD now that's crazy because a lot of women have it reoccurring because it's been transferred to the man and like

both parties have to take antibiotics and usually most times like men are fucking nasty and will literally still try to like have sex while you have baby while you're itching and burning while you're in actual literal pain. It an in burning burning an it's like literally like monistat should be instead of oh my god when you really wanted me to start like putting more quarters in the parking meters they should just like instead of making me pay like $50 they genuinely should just sentence me to monistat I would stop Immediately, I wish I could feel the pain a girl feels when they take monistat like why just to be close You're something my shoes. Yeah

No, but literally the way you were acting your shoes and now I have a No, hi, but my yeah, literally now my feet stink Now I have athlete's foot. No, I put my, yeah, literally, now my feet stink. Now I have crushy toe syndrome. What the fuck was I saying? Oh no, the way you were acting when you took monistat was the craziest. That looked like it was so painful. It was bad.

Ooh, it was bad. Inyo was riding me, I was twerking on Inya in the kitchen about two hours ago, and I farted on her vagina and gave her bacterial meningitis. Did you actually fart on me or were you joking? I farted on you. I don't know that I care, like honestly. Like it's not that big of a deal.

These jeans are like thick enough that I think it'll protect me. Inya, I woke up and your face was this close to mine. And I know my mouth was wide open and it stunk. Your breath was crazy. Your breath was crazy. It was crazy. Have you smelled my morning breath?

No, you smell mine. I really don't have, yeah. I think I just naturally have rank morning breath because I snore. So I'm an open mouth breather when I sleep. You should do mouth tape. No. Don't ever tell her.

Because if God's purpose was for me to sleep with my mouth open. God's plan. No, that actually is a good idea. It does. It supposedly helps. It helps a lot actually. No, that's all like torture.

Like literally, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If there's a will, there's a way. Like I will figure out how to breathe in that tape. Because seriously, like, cause it's snoring. If there's a will, there's a way. I will figure out how to breathe in that phase. Because seriously, because it's snoring, I know it's not good for you, but. Your snoring can be bad. You're teetering on sleep apnea at some points. There are some points when you wake me up from snoring

and then you don't breathe for 10 seconds. You're choking on the back of your throat. And I get through. You do power through, but you're losing brain cells. And I get through. You do power through, but your losing brain cells do. I do power through. It's the combination of the weed and the sleep apnea. That's why you have OCD. No, that's, that's been.

That's been a thing. That's been a thing. Dude, I'm out of all the pork. You pointing out the chewing thing was crazy because I really have not thought about that in so long. And you used to like rage, like literally rage if you chewed around her. Like literally rage.

But it wasn't like to be funny. No, it was real. Oh, it like, like the thought of it still, it makes me like, it feels like somebody is genuinely trying to hurt me. I hate that. And then, but she started taking her medication and I realized, I was like, oh my God,

she literally hasn't complained about that with anybody once in the last like six months. And I know some fucking chompers. Josiah. You know some eaters. Kai's a munch, y'all. That's what he's doing. Please don't out me as a munch. I don't really think that's true.

It's true. Yeah, so I didn't book therapy. Okay, because your wallet was on the other side of the room. No, I still want to do it. I was like filling out a questionnaire about the type of therapist I wanted and I checked LGBTQ plus I wanted a gay therapist. I feel like gay people are more in tune and I said man or woman I don't give a fuck. I needed it to be a woman no offense sorry. None taken. I'm not telling a man any of my fucking business are you

serious? I always check the options of really hot woman. I'll be like yes. Busty. Busty. But yeah. Well we tried to host an Easter egg hunt at our house for Easter and we sent out texts. And nobody came. And no one responded.

We literally were people serving the burgers. That was literally us. Actually we invited three people and we were like, why did no one come to our Easter egg? No, we invited, I told a bunch of people, then a bunch of people texted me about it and I got really overwhelmed and I was like, yeah, like, and then the morning of I woke up and I was like, oh my god, he has risen. I feel amazing. Like today's going to be a gorgeous day. We built like outdoor chairs and we were sitting out there and I feel amazing like today's gonna be a gorgeous day we built like outdoor chairs and we were sitting out there and I was like yes bring in the people like bring in my girls but like by then everybody had moved on and I didn't text

anybody about it so I really I guess actually yeah I sent out one like text with no real planned in our group chat and then when I got responses I didn't say anything. But we were like people with the burgers. Y'all know that picture? Yeah. You know that picture? Yeah. That was literally me. Did you know that him and the people who ate paint graduated from the same high school? Really? Summa cum laude? How do you say it? Summa Kumbh Lad? I think that's right. Sum Kumbh a lot? From Servington University? That's disgusting.

But yeah, they went to the same hospital. Oh wait, no, didn't he die? I was about to say hospital because I'm pretty sure like he died. The pain grandpa? The grandpa who ate paint. Oh. Yeah, he's fierce though. Like I really love that that's his legacy.

Cause I'm pretty sure, oh, we've talked about this on the podcast because why are you laughing? I actually think it's sweet. No, just the image of that. With the paint around his mouth. Well, to me it's like, I feel like I have so many pictures of my friends,

but for the most part, they are fucking ridiculous. Well, I found this post and it resonated with me in the craziest way, and I'm gonna read it, and I want to see if it resonates with y'all. Okay. Damn, when I was a kid, I really didn't see the big picture or think any of this life shit was cute.

My dad used to tell me to rake the leaves, and I would pray he would die that night. I literally thought he was, or I never thought he was teaching me only trying to kill me. That really resonates with me. Yeah. Why would that go? That's what I felt about picking up mangoes in the summer. No, literally that's when my dad would take my DSA or when my dad would take my DSA. No, when my dad would take my DSI away from me I would pray to the devil that he died. I stink like fucking dog shit lately I've been every time like the heat starts coming back I'm like damn I gotta get some chlorophyll in me because I just smell like chlorophyll I haven't been taking chlorophyll and then

I have this chemical that I buy off of eBay that's actually prescription strength and it should be illegal and I'm kind of airing out my shit right now but it's called drysall and I dab it on my armpit every day, once a day at night for like a week straight and give myself chemical burns and I burn like my sweat glands away in my armpits and it literally keeps me sink free for a year. You're definitely not supposed to be using that.

The people who are selling it are definitely selling it for like the collectors. Well, I buy it from Canada. Yeah, you can buy it OTC in Canada and they ship it over. But it works. Like I don't smell for like an entire year straight. And I think it's just time for me to re-up and like burn my armpits.

No, I kinda like stinking, no? Like I'd rather take chlorophyll or something or just like drink more water, get like a good deodorant. Cause I think a lot of people just need to go back to wearing fucking deodorant. get like a good deodorant. Cause I think a lot of people just need to go back to wearing fucking deodorant. Cause like a normal deodorant and I am pro like no aluminum, whatta yada yada yada, but I don't know. I was about to say the exact opposite.

I vape, so I really think I need to just like, I've the only deodorant that's really worked for me in the past few, like at least year year because as I grow older I just like I Think I stink a bit more. No, like why like oh, I haven't smelled you. Did you saw me yesterday? Well, I also always think I think that's like a huge thing. I'm like, did you smell me yesterday? No, it is no Did it me? Wait, have you got this this kind of random, but you're just talking about something stinking. Have you seen this? We all touched shit before.

I've never shit it in a tissue before. You touch shit every single day if you shit. Like, you don't wipe yourself? It got shit in the tissue when you wipe yourself. You don't know how to get the, why are you touching the shit? The tissue is for the shit. That's what I'm saying, you grab shit all the time. No, no, no, you're not saying that. You don't. Yeah, you wipe. You're not wiping, you grab the shit. You don what I'm saying, you grab shit all the time. No, no, no, you're not saying that.

You don't, yeah, you wipe. You're not wiping, you grab the shit. You don't grab, why are you grabbing shit? Hold on, hold on. Do you got shit stuck in your ass while you're taking? Are you telling me that y'all just let the doodle fall in the toilet? Y'all don't catch it every time?

I am about to leave, bro. How do y'all check this shit? How much have seen this shit wrong? I'm, my stomach is tense. So hold. How do y'all check this shit? How much have seen this shit wrong? I'm, my stomach is turning. So hold on, so y'all can see. Your stomach is turning. Wait, no, wait, actually though, he has a point. Do y'all not catch your shit out of midair?

I love that. I don't even think that's a joke. The visual, the visual. I'm pretty sure he's like, that's serious. I could see all like phases of bleach like whipping past his eyes. I think he's eating all like I think he's shitting into his hand. Yeah He's shitting like this like through the front pooping into his head thanks with toilet paper How do you find that is that because I mentioned knowing somebody who wipes from the back to the front? No

You're talking about stinks. Oh What like no, it's so funny watch that video and I can like see the moment where his body gets hot No, you're talking about like stink. You're just talking about stink. So just keep it. Oh, ew, what? Like, no. It's so funny watching that video and I can like see the moment where his body gets hot. Yeah, yeah. Embarrassment. His like stomach stinks. But crazy is my body is hot hearing this.

Yeah. And like I am like feeling like for some, ew! No shade, he handled that like really well. Like he really, he was like, damn, I fucked up in like immediate, like it could have been way worse if he started like acting. Dude, I would have freaked out and like walked, I would have like started screaming. No, I fucked up in like immediate. Like it could have been way worse if he started like. I would have freaked out and like walked.

I would have like started screaming. No, I would have killed myself. Like that was when I found out that everybody wipes after their crap. Like I understand sometimes you see these videos of like, it's actually not fucking funny and we need to talk about how there is a new age of this except it's just virtually so people think it's okay.

But like the whole like paparazzi magazine frenzy of when they would really get up in people's faces and say obscene things to them to make celebrities have gnarly reactions. But I'm like. What is funny, it's not funny, but just any video of someone coming towards a lens. Literally facing that.

Oh, they're walking by. literally crazy like that. Or like when paparazzi have like phones and somebody like they're like, someone who's enraged to being filmed, your initial reaction would be like, fuck, am I like hitting the camera? And I have to say like, that would have been my reaction in that moment.

If I had admitted something that humiliating, I would have literally been like... I would have just seen red. We're back! Ayyyy! Audio cut out. Sorry if it sounded weird as fuck for a second. We used the camera audio.

Because I just don't think that that's that funny anymore. It just doesn't bring me the same joy it did 10 minutes ago. So she's not gonna say it again. I'm an ever-changing woman. Thank God I didn't start my new topic because it's a doozy. No, but what we really need to talk about is Amelia Earhart. Okay. Like, well yeah, they left her fucking stranded. She was sending out- Well no, like why though? Like why was she doing all that traveling? Do we know? Was it just like to do it?

Does it matter? Or I guess, well I think the whole gag was she was one of the first women to do it. Like she was like kind of stunting in a way, no? I just know like I can't really say much on the topic but I do know I grew up going to Amelia Earhart Park in Miami for everyone's birthday party. A big block in history class.

But didn't she get eaten by coconut crabs or something like that? Oh, I think so. I did watch a video about it because I was interested in the crash, but she was sending out. SOS. But I think they realized that much later on

because when she originally crashed, they had no way of locating her. And then later on, they found remnants of the crash that they tied back to her. And then later, like, I think it was just the technology wasn't up to speed enough to be able to like track her and help her. But she there is the crab thing is just a theory. But she did land on like a, how did someone come up with a coconut crab theory? Someone lying and then other people believing it. So basically what I probably just did because I don't know enough about her to be saying everything I just said.

So nobody repeat anything I just said. Imagine you just ran into this random bitch in a coffee shop. Oh apparently she was one of the first users of MySpace. Oh Amelia Earhart? Yeah. That's actually really interesting. Wait, that's crazy. How did she do that?

I don't know. Did they keep her brain like AI kind of situation? She was an early investor in MySpace. I don't know, whatever. I think she was married to Tom. Oh yeah. From MySpace? Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Tom is a time traveler. He used the Rubik's cube. How did you, what? Hasbro. Did you guys see the- Oh, the gummy bears.

The new open AI model. You're insane. No. You see the new open AI model can pinpoint exactly where you are. Have you seen this? No, and I hate it. I literally hate it.

People have been just putting a picture of them in front of a corner of a building, and then it'll figure out exactly where it is. Well, I mean, it's probably just using the metadata for the photo. These people are like extracting the metadata out of it and like screenshotting it. What the fuck? God I hate AI it is so unholy. Yeah I don't like that.

It really feels like we're opening the pit to hell. We constantly see all this like bad stuff that it does and I'm like where are the cures for cancer? Yeah where's the good shit that it was supposed to do? Well Kai was texting me last night and he said one of the craziest things ever and I went along with it and I was like sure I'll let you have this but the further away I got from that moment the more I was like I digested it. I ate. He said that Ed Sheeran was tradie.

He's looking good recently. Oh, fuck me, bro. Oh my God. Don't say shit like that ever again. That looked so real. I fell onto the fucking mixer and it turned Ennio's voice into a robot voice. Well, that's what happens when you mess with somebody.

Wait, could you do like an evil voice? Wait, how the fuck do I turn this off? Oh my God, Kai, you've destroyed everything. No, this is your fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You hit him in the fuck do I turn this off oh my god Kai you've destroyed everything no this is your fault I'm sorry I'm sorry did I hurt you or like no it's fine I mean my nose is bleeding oh my god do you have to pee oh yeah but I can't use the fucking bathroom no I bet I bet it's I'm not gonna be the one to check it I'll check it. I'm a girl. I'm a girl, I can't check. If something is scary, a man should be checking it.

Ooh, you released some of the sting. Girl, no, you stood up and you sat down in your sit air and that's what you're smelling. That's crazy because I stood up so technically my nose got closer to your mouth and then that's what it smelled because sitting right here, I don't smell the smell I was smelling anymore. I think that was your bronzer. I was smelling what I was smelling is smelly. I think that was

your bronzer. Oh shut that. Oh shut that. I'm gonna buy like one of those fans you get at Disney and then if somebody pisses me off on a hot summer day I'm gonna wear a pad for like seven hours and then sit like this and hold the fan right here. Blow your rotten period air on to them. My dad got scammed like crazy by the way. My dad famously gets scammed by Instagram ads all the time. Like he bought something that he thought was going to be like a six foot by like three foot life size shark. That was an RC thing and it came in the mail and it was like a three-inch

Like plastic shark toy. I can't lie. That's kind of my vibe too. Yeah, he buys a bunch of shit off of Instagram Wait, do you have photos of it? The shark? Yeah, like what he thought it was. I'll find them but that he got scammed again It's like way better this time. So My dad five years later finally got fed Dubai chocolate ads and he was like oh I'm gonna buy Dubai chocolate cuz it's a Dubai chocolate ad on Instagram so he buys the chocolate. He was supposed to get three chocolate bars. He got two that are like this big. much were they they were 60 fucking dollars for two chocolate bars Get this they were shipped from China. Not only China

Wuhan China Covids birthplace What's covid? No, actually that is a good question. What is that? Yeah. What it was like? Oh The pandemic I was really young when that happened. So I It was like- What? Oh, the pandemic. I was really young when that happened, so I barely remember it. Gross.

Oh, really? Zoom classes sucked. It wasn't as good as normal classes. Graduating during Zoom? I actually genuinely do feel so bad for kids who had that. I can't believe that was a thing, but I guess the more I hear my cousins and shit talk about it, they low-key fucked with it.

They were so down to be back at home. Like all of my siblings wish they could go back to taking online classes. I wish, me and Kai wish we could go back. Yeah. We always used to do those pranks, right? Yeah. With the background, the green screen.

Yeah. Yeah, you would. We would invite people in to troll our class. It was seventh grade. Like, of course we're going to be rowdy. Of course we're going to be crazy. Like, of course we're gonna be rowdy. Of course we're gonna have fun we're only in seventh grade one. No I think I'm gonna die in the next couple months because I've been wanting to start this new series on the internet where I like do rejection therapy and then one of them

is to ask if I can go skydiving and then I have to go skydiving this year. I literally have to but I think I'm gonna die from a great fall. So I think it's all just like coming together, my death plan. Like, what are you talking, like just don't go fucking skydiving. I literally have to. Skydiving to me is ridiculous. I genuinely, I see no benefit. I genuinely I see no benefit like I see no benefit.

It's the adrenaline dump. Just go to fucking sky zone or something like what go to that jump on a trampoline. Yeah literally I'm not kidding you'll probably get the same kind of joy like yeah honestly. Hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e-commerce in the US. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands. Just getting started. Like emergency intercom. Hey!

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Also, from a consumer standpoint, I do love ShopPay because a lot of the brands I buy from are run by Shopify and a lot of the brands are kind of like smaller LA based brands and a lot of them don't have a lot of stock and ShopPay does just make it so easy to check out. I just get an email and I'm like, okay, I know I can just check out quickly. That's just me. If you wanna see less cards being abandoned, it's time for you to

head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash intercom. Go to shopify.com slash intercom, shopify.com slash intercom. I kind of want a trampoline, but something about having a trampoline just like to me I can only see the end of a trampoline's fate when I see a trampoline. It's one of those things that's like it's dead before it was even born to me. It's like ripped. Yeah before it's even on the box. It's sun bleached. The microfibers are getting all in like the kid's hairs. You use it twice. Somebody's leg is popping through. They hurt their ankle. Someone breaks their collarbone. Someone gets pinched by the hot metal springs.

Yeah, your foot gets caught between the springs. That's really- It pinches your skin when you get in. You know what's crazy is like, that's adulthood. You see the bad before the good. I'm flipping this script. No, to be fair, I saw that shit for the- The last time I think I enjoyed a trampoline

without being absolutely terrified of it was when I was like seven or eight. And then I saw my cousin literally like break his ankle and I was like, oh, so they just break. Oh, so one day it just gives out. One day it just gives up. Like how fucking no, bitch. That's fucking crazy.

And most motherfuckers don't have their fucking trampoline high enough, at least no one in my family did, because every time they broke, like somebody's foot hit the, whatever body part it broke through is hitting the ground. You know what was so-tee was trampolines that were in the ground.

I had one friend that had an underground trampoline, absolutely loaded beyond belief. Like 24,000 square foot home. Those were the kids that had the refrigerators that were huge industrial stainless steel style. Yes, literally he had that, the wolf. Were they called wolf? I forget, yeah, it's something.

But I remember going to kids' house and being like, this is different. Well, nuclear bombs being the reason that the Bikini Bottom exists is crazy. Bottoms who wear Speedos have always existed. Thank you very fucking much. Honestly, thank you for checking me because that was crazy of me.

And I really appreciate that. You said nuclear bombs are the reason Bikini Bottom exists. Yes. Bikini Bottom SpongeBob. Yes. Make an atoll. Like they would drop bombs and it was like a nuclear test site. And then there's like a rabbit hole.

You can go down where it was like, what if all these creatures are just like irradiated like sea creatures that like just gain consciousness from like radioactivity. So this is a theory, this is not like the creator said this. Well, Bikini Bottom is in Macon Atoll, which is like a nuclear test site. I think it's like an American nuclear test site

or something like that. Why the fuck is there actually a place called Bikini Bottom? Oh, so they named it, the SpongeBob creators named it after the test site? Yes, or I think the SpongeBob... I'm not fully versed, but I know there's... You're versed? I'm not versed.

You're versed? I'm a side. I'm a side. No, I don't know. Someone look up the conspiracy and write it in the fucking comments. Cause like... I love Nickelodeon conspiracies, like the one about Rugrats where you can draw all of these connection points to the fact that one of them, I think it's Tommy, is having some sort of schizophrenic experience. In Rugrats?

Yeah, like there's this whole, there's like a rabbit hole you can go down. I believe that because the strawberry or the orange seeds or is it watermelon seeds? Like Chucky eats watermelon seeds and what's are nuts? That evil fucking bitch. Angelica tells him that he's gonna grow like oranges or watermelons. I think it's watermelons in the episode.

Tells him that they're gonna grow in his stomach. And I had just finished fucking up an orange and I was the kind of kid and I still am, but I'm not a kid, like I'm actually really like. I love watermelon seeds. I eat any seeds, I just like what, I'm not like, unless they're like huge and like. An avocado seed is so fucking good.

So good. It's so good. A beach pit, like oh give it to me. That episode was freaky because I think he has like a nightmare during his nap that it happens. And that episode I was watching after eating a bunch of orange seeds and I genuinely watching it felt like somebody had like Like who put LSD in the tangerines? Like who climaxed? Who put LSD in the fruit punch bowl? Me.

Me. Nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll consisted of detonation of 24 nuclear weapons by United States between 46 and 58 on Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands. So it was called Bikini, girl, and then Bikini Bottom. Oh! The bottom of Bikini Island. That's the T, like what?

I don't know. I literally. And that's why Karen is a robot. And that's why James Charles got turned into an AI robot He did and yeah, I'm not kidding. He literally did well, there was a tornado in Granberry Did anything bad happen? I don't think anything Tornadoes that like they really don't they don't bother anybody. It was nocturnal and I think it blew through like I Guess it destroys the fuck out of random crops.

Yeah, it blew through like the middle of nowhere in Tolar. And, sorry I'm not laughing about the tornado, I'm laughing at Kai laughing at something else. Continue, continue. I think it blew through like a construction zone, like where they were building a bunch of houses Because the debris ball on the radar was massive. It was like fucking crazy but

That's insane so there's a tornado It was actually in toller But I called Madeline and Stephen and my parents to warn them, because I was watching Max Velocity live and then I saw boop, boop, boop, new tornado warning for Hood County. That's where I grew up. Oh shit.

Oh my God, guys, seriously, life, oh wait, should I talk about my amazing day because you were going on and on about how like, oh, you had the worst day of your life. I had the best day of my life. I had the best Easter. I had the bad hour of my life. The bad hour.

You talked about it like it was an eternity. You literally spoke about it like you were banished to an eternity of like longing and solitude. Oh, it was. That's what my whole life feels like. And I was supposed to smoke weed with Inya for the first time in five years on 420. He wasn't gonna do it.

I was gonna do it. I swear to God I was gonna do it. And she ditched me to go to have the greatest time of her life apparently. I invited him multiple times. But I had the best time of my life. I went with friends to a lookout and we all smoked in dance and it was fucking awesome. And then we went home and we watched Black Mirror.

We ate bomb ass food and then there was a long piece of hair in the dessert and we all wanted to throw up. That's dessert. The hair. Aren't there people with like hair fetishes? Like a, like a, I don't know. I wouldn't know. I would not know.

I do fuck the tailpipes of cars. But yeah, I just had the most gorgeous day ever. And like, maybe I'll put in a video, but I don't know. Like sometimes I just like, I might put it on my IG story, but it's for my eyes only. But it was so, so sweet. Also it was my first, this is so annoying because yes, I am grown as fuck, I get it,

but it's my first 420 where I actually can smoke weed without having a full blown panic attack. And it was so awesome. I was psychologically prepping for three days to smoke weed. I really was. I was doing the work. I was taking five HTP. Like I was really like the serotonin in my brain is not going to be depleted. For weed. No, I just literally made that up.

I wasn't taking that. So you're lying. You're not like making you're just lying. But no, I was psychologically preparing. Well, you're lying and You're not like making you're just lying. But no, I was psychologically preparing. Well, you're lying and you're kind of being manipulative because you're saying it to me like I bailed on you and I like got rid of all this crap work, but you didn't do any prep work. Also, Drew never mentioned that he was going to smoke until the day of randomly. Oh, might I add, Drew is obsessed with male validation. Yeah, you heard it here first, because I didn't hear a word of Drew smoking until he was talking to someone he has feelings for,

or like has a little crush on or whatever, that's on my business. And all of a sudden, Mr. Hot Shot is gonna smoke weed, and he's like gonna smoke weed. He is not gonna smoke weed, bro. Girl, no, I really was. I really, really was. He was just gonna waste my weed, because he was gonna smoke weed, bro. Go now, I really was. I really, really was. He was just gonna waste my weed

because he was gonna get scared as fuck. He was gonna hit my fucking weed and ruin my mind. No, I remember telling you like weeks ago that I was gonna smoke weed with you. I'm not even kidding. I wanted to. Yeah, I'll believe you, but you also say that a lot. Did you know Skittles dropped their own version

of Freeze Dried? It's Skittles brand. They're selling it now. Really? You can buy them at gas stations. Crunchy, very yummers. Well, I would always wonder when I saw them at gas stations, like how that isn't a copyright issue.

It probably is. Because I feel like there's no rules anymore. You can just sell whatever you want. I mean, there literally are no rules anymore. No, they just announced it, yes. Bro, who gives a fuck? Like what? Weren't they good? I never had them. I'm kind of like fighting for a call.

I loved it, but it was good for like three bites and then like got old very quickly. Skittles just kind of fell off for me a long, long time ago. Like skittles were just like, they don't work, but like I would suck the fuck out of a sour skittle. Like don't let me around some sour Skittles were just like they don't work but like I would I would suck the fuck out of a sour Skittle like Don't let me around some sour. They they fell off for me too. And then even in adulthood, I still love candy I eat the fuck out of candy but I will not go near a fucking Skittle ever again in my goddamn life and it's literally because like

All of the ingredients in them that are like banned in every other country. And I don't do that with any fucking food ever, but for some reason, Skittles stuck in my brain. And that's a lot coming from me. I'm a garbage disposal. That's just not what's really gonna train me from eating something. Like- We know. Any is an eater.

Drew, sigh up. I really have to pee. I think I'm gonna get a UTI Yeah, you should go pee is Ash cheeks one word. Well, no, I can't is ash cheeks one word or sure is ash cheeks one word Or should I spread them apart? Fuck you block someone then all of a sudden juicy to 1234 starts viewing your story That's really good One, two, three, four, starts viewing your story. That's really good.

I will say one thing I will like always stand by. I don't give a fuck if I have no business watching your story. I will watch anyone's story at any point from my main account. Like I'm like, what? Like I, it's like taking a walk in the park. If you're there, I'm gonna see you at the park. And also the joy of seeing, like the quality of life.

I don't even know how to describe it. The rush and thrill of a random person seeing your story. Like I'm giving you something, I'm getting something. It's like. No, like literally like seeing someone that shouldn't be viewing your story viewing your story gives you this like rush and this feeling and like you get to gossip and talk about it and it gives them like it gives you like Life in a way. It feels like I like other people Jimmy Neutron went into the Fairly Oddparents universe

Yeah, that's what it feels like. Yeah Pro like if you're brave enough to be at the point because most of my Like snooping around on Instagram is genuinely out of pure curiosity and boredom Like I just don't care and I think that's why I don't care because I'm like I'm not up to some devious fucking act Where I'm like, I shouldn't be here. I'm just like what what's the worst? Like I don't follow this person They're gonna be like why did she watch my story? Cuz I don't know I don't know I don't know how I ended up here most of the time I'm just on my phone and I just like let my mind explore and I actually I let my body explore my phone and my mind

To go somewhere else for the most part. It's like a very It's a disconnected Form of entertainment. Okay, I'm gonna start saying media. My media of the week. Media of the week. I love Butterfly by Marina. I love, what is it, Cuntopia by Marina? Cuntessa? Cuntonics?

Cuntismo. Butterfly and Cupid's Girl. Those are my three medias. I really, really, really like those songs. And I very rarely like modern day pop, but those hit for me for some reason. They are really good, because it's also just feels reminiscent

of her older stuff, but it feels still. Nostalgia. It's nostalgic without feeling like she's trying to date back and reverse. It's fresh nostalgia. Those are my three songs. Well, mine are, oh my God, my phone is on 1%. without feeling like she's trying to date back. And like reverse. Fresh nostalgia. Those are my three songs. Well, mine are, oh my God, my phone is on 1%. And I like never remember anything.

Fuck, I don't. Bad Idea, Raven Linnae, Do It, Nelly Furtado, Damn You, Prince. You were listening to the same four songs over and over again. Rich Off, Okay, Rick Ross, Headphones On, Addison Rae, I Know Jay-Z. Headphones On is really good. Kai agrees too. The lyrics were some of the best lyrics I've like,

feel like usually when I listen to music I don't listen to the lyrics, but yesterday I was listening to it and I was like, this is really fucking good. And that damn music video too. Yeah, it's so good. Also, what's her song? Diet Pepsi having 350 million streams. Does it really? Yes, is that not so insane?

I know, I was like gagged, I mean, deserving, I love Addison, but like that just, that's a big number. Yeah. That's a really impressive number. That's nearing your body count, but continue. It's not even close. Let me know, dude.

Like, Drew's fucking disgusting. More than 350 million. Yes. More than the population of the United States. No, and in music, that number is fucking phenomenal, but compared to Drew's body count. It doesn't even come close. Come close at all.

Yeah. Oh, the rehearsal. Nathan Fielder is really cool. Still haven't finished White Lotus. I still have two episodes left. I'll probably forever have two episodes left. I started it. Just like Succession.

The season of White Lotus is really polarizing. I don't know if I like it or not. Like, I'll have to finish it before I decide, but. I can't lie, I'm starting the third season without finishing the first or second one. I didn't watch the second one. But I really like it. There's some parts I don't really understand,

but I kind of D.F. because I think the writing is really interesting and funny. Yeah. And it's also so exciting. I also love the girl with the gap tooth. She is a star. I can't wait for her. I she's with Oh, yeah, he's having his moment too in real life He does have that energy, but okay, thank you guys so much for watching this episode

Oh, we didn't even introduce this episode Welcome to this episode of Emergency in a Con. Goodbye. Thanks for watching!