Emergency Intercom - Dreaming About Nightmares

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

Today we dive deep into our subconscious and reveal that even our “dreams” are nightmares… can we catch a break please god I’m begging you please Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Let's be sloppy little tookus to start this episode. Your little butt cheek. Your little spank.

Your little spank to start the day. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I would just like to point out if... I'm like, just in case anything looks a little different, as if anything's ever looked like good and proven proper. Like, literally gone right once. If it's looking a little darker, a little dimmer, we're starting a little later

because we ran into literally a million technical difficulties. Actually a million problems. But what's new? Our last episode was the glitchiest podcast I think ever released by anybody but no uh some would say that we're like breaking boundaries okay we're inventing genres yeah podcast glitch core wow i don't know that's just how i choose to see it yeah but i was gonna say what are you gonna say nothing i were you gonna say? Nothing. I was literally gonna say, I would also like everyone to know that my stomach is so fucked up. Because yesterday I had a whole bag of hot fries, like so many Takis.

We've been snacking, y'all. Like we've been snacking like crazy. And that's like very hypocritical because we were like, what you put into your body really does matter. I usually am pretty good about it. But the like two nights ago oh my god but if if you're not watching drew just pulled out blue talkies as if infrared red talkies weren't already inhumane these should not exist like these literally should not exist the color's not natural and i don't understand why they made them blue like there was no reason for blue talkies but i will say they are not better but

they are like pretty like damn i was just about to say because you had a different bag for the last episode that you forgot to bring out did you eat the other bag oh yeah i'm not lying when i say eat talkies every day they're in they're in the category or in a category of their own. Like blue Takis. If you had the food pyramid and you were a little kid, you'd put Takis at the top. Food pyramids are also a scam that like food companies pay for. But we don't have to talk about that right now. We don't have to get into that.

We don't have to go into another rant about our mental health and digestion. But my stomach is turnt the fuck up. My shit is fucked up. The other day, Quinn posted a video. I knew about these TikTok snacks, but she posted a video that she tried them. And she was like disgusted and appalled by them. And I was still convinced I would like them. I still haven't had chamoy, but like I had.

We need chamoy. I know. It's been too long. We went on like an adventure to go find. Dude, my shit was fucked. My burps literally smelt like they should be incarcerated. They were fire. They literally were like pepper spray.

Like I'm not kidding. They burnt my fucking eyes. But yeah, I had like the pickle wrapped in fruit roll up. And then I don't know where I saw this. My brain just thought of it. But like Gushers covered in lime juice with the heen on them. Those were fucking good. I wanted Gushers to be sour, though. Like in my head as a kid, Gushers covered in lime juice with the heen on them those were fucking good i wanted gushers to be sour though like in my head as a kid gushers were like sour yeah sorry i'm getting a fucking call we made a joke literally before starting this that we were going to leave

our ringers on and i forgot to turn mine off damn it's vibrating in my coochie now hey i'm vibrating your coochie okay tmi but literally when I was in seventh grade when I was in seventh grade I remember I was texting my crush and playing call of duty on the Wii which was weird I loved it it was actually so fun we should get a Wii like that's dangerous um but basically in between playing I put my phone between my legs just because I was like I dropped it and then it vibrated and I was like now what was that no everyone experimented everybody experimented with a vibrating controller i'm not i'm sorry i'm being honest everyone put it on their private parts and loved the way it felt felt and that's all literally the like the way this conversation

has gone so far it's absurd we haven't hit any topic that we were supposed to because i'm like my brain is on fire no i have never felt like this in my life i don't think like i am melting away literally everyone in our friend group when they're drunk i've it is literally 98 degrees it's 98 degrees in this house and i have a fucking sweater is your head covering it i don't think so i don't think so It's 98 degrees and you'll see it go up to 99, I'm sure. Which will be awesome. Someone literally today commented. Take a shot every single time they say um at the same time.

We're just in unison. What's the first topic? I think we should get into, like we should really dive into how I believe the iPad babies control the world. Oh, my God. Because that was something I briefly spoke about for, like, one second in the first episode. Mm-hmm. And I never really dove into that topic. But legitimately, the iPad babies control the world.

Like, one, the babies that we're currently raising with iPads, they're literally like every ad is targeted towards them. It's pleasing the iPad babies. Content is now being created for iPad babies. Yeah, babies are literally from jump being turned into ultra consumers. Yeah, one, it's insane. And two, everything we're viewing now is made for ipad babies and two the people who like didn't really grow up with ipads but like when they were seven or eight they had ipads in their hands iphones in their hands like those are the kids now that are like canceling everybody i mean it is there's something to be said like they're

being introduced to a world that is like very black and white because the internet isn't necessarily a ground for taking a step back and thinking about the like whether it be like cultural or like like uh physical or like where you grow up like any kind of context so yeah literally there it's because they expect things to go one way or the other they expect if they order their amazon package it should be here tomorrow if it says it's here tomorrow if it's not here by tomorrow recap do you remember like ordering shit off the internet like in the very very early days like ordering something off of ebay like you just never knew when it was going

to fucking come or if it was going to come. It was like it was a gamble every single fucking time. Literally, I remember I ordered like, do you know those like go-go's that I just bought a giant bag of? I remember I had my mom order me like a lot of them when I was like nine or ten. And she was like, I don't know when it's going to get here. And it literally took like three months to get here. I was going to say, the first thing I remember ordering was like so fucking expensive for us. It was the 1D varsity jacket, which if you are selling the navy one direction varsity jacket with the red lettering on the front. And I don't think anything on the back and the cream sleeves. I want to buy it off of you. I want it so bad.

I was looking for it the other day and i couldn't find it and i want it because i realized i look really good in varsity jackets like not to toot my own horn but basically we ordered that off of like i think ebay or a fucking antsy or something yeah and i was i was so fucking scared i was like i'm gonna get my ass whooped if this shit doesn't fucking show up like Like I was so nervous that I made my dad spend $100, which I might as well have asked him to like sell the house. Like that was so crazy. And he only did it because he couldn't get me concert tickets and he felt really bad. And I literally would cry to him all the time.

Like every time tickets would go on sale and it'd be like 124 for like the worst tickets in the world i'd be like please can we get them and he'd be like i i can't do that right now and i would go to my room and cry that's literally so tragic because when i was a kid i got everything i ever wanted oh no look at you you're having a panic attack on camera um but yeah ipad baby dude the scary thing is ipad babies are literally and i know it's so old head to say but they're not going outside i also actually saw a very like beautiful tiktok the other day ironically enough i was being the ipad baby and consuming heavily but this woman was talking about how she her baby does not know what a fucking ipad is her baby was like yeah she was like how

did you get your baby to talk so eloquently like at two years old oh i didn't see that but it was like she literally was like put the ipad in front of the baby and he just like was playing and was like what is that our generation is literally going to be anti-ipad baby like my i'm sorry my child will not have a fucking ipad until it's 28 years old i won't even give my teenager a lighter i'm gonna give it a stick and a stone. I'm like, figure it out. Make fire. You want to let your blunt so bad?

Figure it out. Literally make fire. Learn how to make fire. But I don't believe in having kids, but that's a different conversation. Actually, sometimes. I was about to say. Sometimes I'd be like, I'd be like, you know what it is? It's honestly just like, I know I'd be a good mom like that's the

only thing i'm like i would be an awesome mom but also sometimes azul when she's yelling at me i'm like if i could throw you in the air and punk kick you through the window i would literally that's like something we've talked about so often it's like like i want kids when i'm older um and i'm always like in you like when we hit 30, 40, if we're still single, we're going to get eloped and adopt children together. And Enya's like,

no, I'll never fucking have kids. And you always said like maybe adoption, but like recently you've been seeing, I've been sending you TikToks of babies and you're like, kind of like, wait, I want one of those stink pies,

like those little stinkers. I just, I, there are some people who I think have like a natural maternal instinct and they're like i really yeah like i want kids like that's something i want for me it's like such a deep deep dis want and like the idea of it scares the fuck out of me but then sometimes on a good day i'm like wait being like 32 and having a kid sounds sweet like it's kind of cute i'll have a baby when i'm 40 like i don't know exactly what do you always say when i the conversation you're always like women who have kids when they're old oh yeah literally women who have kids when they're older

live longer i think i just like so oh someone was talking about this really like well put together on fucking tiktok oh my god um but they were talking about how, like, they hate the ideology of, like, oh, I had a kid in my 20s, so by the time I'm in my 40s, I can be free. And they were just speaking about how kids are, like, a forever choice. You don't just, like, they don't turn, like, 18 and you're done with them. And that's a, like, really big American ideology is that once a kid's 18, you're done. And and that's a like really big american ideology is that once a kid's 18 you're done and kids are a lifelong decision you always have to be there for that like always worrying about that person yeah that is like that is like a lifelong responsibility and that's why

i believe in having a child in your later life which some might find selfish because they're gonna be like well you're you're gonna pass like when the child's earlier like like younger and i'm like fuck them kids i've experienced that and i'm thriving i'm slaying the house i'm slaying the boot house now like look at me i'm awesome but no actually like i just you're awesome um yeah i'll have a kid when I'm like pushing 38 and limping. Yeah. I'm down for it. But like, can we adopt together or no? I would like to like adopt a kid and have a kid.

Like the part of me that wants to like bear a child is like, I can do that. Like, what the fuck? I know, that's the craziest shit ever. Women literally just make babies in their guts. Like that is so crazy. is like i can do that like what the fuck like i know that's the craziest shit ever women literally just make babies in their guts like that is so crazy like it freaks me the fuck out you're all make something in your guts now what if i slapped the shit out of you um but yeah i but with that being said if i had a baby i would not give that shit an iPad. There will be flying cars and shit. I'm like, no, bitch, you're walking.

We already have flying cars. They're literally airplanes. And no one wants to have that conversation. No one has that conversation. Everyone's like, oh, like, I always imagined we'd have flying cars in 2020. Like, bitch, we literally do. Like, we have flying airplanes. Like, what's the difference?

Well, I can't just get behind the fucking wheel of an airplane. You literally can. Like, you can have a private airplane. If you train long enough, like, i can't just get behind the fucking wheel of an airplane you literally can like you can have a private airplane if you train long enough like you can yeah if i spend like a year training i can get on one like me i do like a year is that long it's honestly not that hard to get your pilot's license it's expensive but not hard i'm gonna get my pilot's license and start my own private airline for celebrities in la and crash every plane girl what and I'll jump out what so you're gonna just like kill people it'll be an accident who's gonna book with you after you crash the first no because because I'm like very charming so I'm also very cheap yeah you offer cheap rates I'm charming and cheap that's what they call me and i go to hide and

i'm like dancing and i'm like with all the celebrities and stuff and then i'm like they're like oh i have to go like i really want to go to italy next week and i'm like oh my god i have a plane do you want to just get on it whoa no it's like that scene in josie and the pussycats where like you just... You have referenced that movie so many times to me, like, I've seen it and I've never fucking seen it. And it's becoming one of those things where I'm like... I'm not gonna see it because you keep mentioning it. Exactly, I'm stubborn.

You would literally love it. One of the characters in it is so annoyingly Josiah, it's like, it pisses me off. Josiah's the most annoying person I know. But I would literally kill, like, I would slay blood. Like, I would literally kill. Like I would slay blood. Like I would make blood happen. You would slay blood? Yeah. I'd make blood happen for that man.

Yeah. But that literally reminded me of the gnarliest fucking dream I've ever had in my entire life. Oh, okay. Literally. I've told any of this. I've told literally everyone this a million times because it was actually traumatic for me. And I have like video recording of me. it doesn't fucking matter i'll just get into it literally hrh collection like shut the fuck up if you're in the fucking comments i know

you're whatever it doesn't fucking matter shut up don't talk to me um but literally the gnarliest dream i ever had was like it started i'm gonna give I say this every fucking time where I'm like I'm gonna give the condensed version and it always ends up being a 30 minute story but I will literally give the condensed version because we don't have that much time but basically like the dream started and I was in this airplane hangar and like there was a bunch of people there that I knew and I was like in my late 40s like it almost felt like a celebration of my life like people were like oh like congratulate like I was getting congratulated for things and it was like everyone I ever knew was in this room and like it was just like a big dance party whatever

people were dancing and like literally this is so fucking annoying and I hate that this is in the goddamn dream and it literally pisses me off every time I fucking say it but Elon Musk was there and he had just invented like self-flying airplanes like those don't already fucking exist like drones but it was like a big giant jet um and he and i was like i was like i could like can i fly your or i was like can i have one of those jets and he was like uh no you can't because it's still a prototype but i'll let you fly this one and i was like okay sure so i like got in this self-driving airplane and like sat in it and like there was a pilot on board with me to like um to like make

sure nothing went wrong and so i sat in this like command center seat in the middle of the airplane like looking out from the sides of the airplane it's very weird and we we take off we get in the air and we're flying and then there's like this button that We get in the air. And we're flying. And then there's, like, this button that's, like, in the shape of, like, yin and yang. And it, like, says a bunch of things on there. But I can't really understand what it says. But it basically says, like, do not press this fucking button. And, like, literally, like, human instinct takes over, like, when something, when you're told not to do something. Like, every fiber of your being is, like, touch it.

Do it. So I clicked the button. And the airplane immediately, like, lost control and started, clicked the button and the airplane immediately like lost control and started like diving into the ground like that like when i tell you this is like the most visceral and real like raw dream of my life like everything felt real like i thought i was living in real life like i thought this was real life happening to me yeah and i was like oh my fucking god like what would it like no like stop like help and the lady up front was like oh i got this don't worry like we'll i'll figure it out and like we kept diving and we started flying

through like cities and like airplanes were passing by i mean buildings were like passing by and like i was like oh my fucking god like we're about to crash and she was like brace for impact we're about to crash and i was like this is weird but then like i was freaking the fuck out i was like this is the last moments of my life like this is really it like I was like I I can't believe like what's happening to me right now like what the fuck is going on and then um like then all of a sudden I just get this like wave of calm and I'm like oh my god this really is it like I'm like about to pass over whatever and then literally um like the airplane impacts and normally like in dreams like this i wake up but no like i felt every fiber of my being ripping apart i felt like

my eyes like melting out of my face like it went from like me seeing white to red it was like the most brutal and raw and real like it literally like somehow my brain has experienced a plane crash in a past life because it recreated this in this dream and like literally like atoms like splitting just like the gnarliest shit and then everything just went black and i was like oh fuck like i'm in the afterlife like holy shit like i realized i was in the afterlife and then like you like i was looking around like you look around and like it's just emptiness like imagine space with no stars like empty nothing around you I'm like standing but I'm floating it's very weird and then like I hear this booming voice like over me and it's like

uh it just like I forget what it says it like echoed like like you like passed away or something like this oh no it was laughing at me it was fucking laughing at me that's what it was it was like laughing at the way i died and then like um it like started like like making me angry and like i felt like embarrassed at like the way i died or whatever and then like out of the distance i just see these like giant pillars like colored pillars like a like a graph like a graph, like a chart rising out of this, uh, nothingness. And it was literally like stats of my life. And it was like, you met 3,856 people, like who considered you like a close friend. Like you were like a very social person.

Like that's something to be proud of. And then it was like, there were 38 people in your life that like were genuinely in love with you and like then there were like 400 people who considered you an enemy and just like all this crazy shit and these pillars were just like rising girl that's just ig stats literally it was my ig stats um and then like all of a sudden this booming voice is like time to go and like i get like i hear this like zoom sound and i get sucked into like another life and I'm not gonna go into it but basically you were literally in your dream was the amalgamation of soul and mind game exactly it was the craziest shit I had ever experienced in my life but basically in this other dream I was

like living as another person and then I got killed again and then I got sucked into this like other realm and then I got sucked back into another kid or another life and then I got sucked into this like other realm and then I got sucked back into another kid or another life and then I woke up but like literally the craziest shit ever the most like real dream like when I tell you everything was real like it was literally real like I thought I was like actually experiencing this and it was to the point where like when i woke up in real life i was like oh like i'm just experiencing like this dream again like whatever but it was gnarly i've had a few dreams like that where you like go through so many blips you wake up and you're like this is starting again like is this real is this real i my only real dreams like that well i guess that's kind of a nightmare but i don't know

if you it wasn't really the plane crash was a nightmare but everything else was like literally enjoyable until i was like literally murdered like the second time but whatever my dreams like the realistic ones are always fucking nightmares and i get so many nightmares so fucked up and the thing is i don't have like normal dreams always something about them is unenjoyable and then a nightmare i don't get like i'm just like fucking like that one tiktok where the guy's like flying on a magic carpet yours are literally the scariest things i've ever they are literally like my deepest darkest fears just being like rationed from my brain and turned into the most realistic experiences.

And that's everywhere from like being cheated on to like the closest person in my life and watching my family die, like the most brutal death. It's like crazy. It is so nightmarish. Or if it's not like a deep fear, it's like a light fear or it's always something that's in my subconscious like during the day or it creates a new fear dude the new one it actually fucking did was the new one is that i'm not cleaning my smiley enough or something and you know what it is yesterday i like started like licking it and like i was like there's a there's a new texture

to like this piercing like it's like not as smooth as when i first got it there's a new flavor there's bacteria like collecting on it and it's gonna get infected and like that's what i was thinking yesterday i literally went into the fucking bathroom like a maniac with a q-tip and sat there holding it down so i didn't rip it out and was like scrubbing it clean yesterday because i was like so freaked out and like now i'm like brushing it which i shouldn't be doing because like you shouldn't be moving it around no but in my dream last night i literally i don't i was like i i was out or something i was like at a restaurant having drinks with people and i went like this like with my tongue i like licked between it and both of the balls came unscrewed and fell into my

mouth and then i was like i like had the balls under my tongue so i didn't swallow them and i was like this is about to fall out i was like you have my balls under your tongue okay i'll stop doing that do you want me to stop or do you want me to keep going what is wrong with you like it's like you set me up you set me up for slam dunk every time unknowingly and i have to just fucking finish yeah balls in my mouth balls in my mouth i lick ass cheeks literally me getting hacked on Twitter. Faking getting hacked on Twitter. I was hacked.

I like ash cheeks. Literally me. That's us after sending Bob Odenkirk to the hospital. We're like, that was not us. The curse of the podcast. I know. And the curse of if you don't have sex with me. You'll end up in the hospital for we sent bob odenkirk to the hospital no you know what it was it was like

he needed a reminder of what life was like um and that he should try things because you never know are you saying are you trying to make it so you can try sex with you why why does it not have to be about sex with me because that's like wrong it's like wrong right or am i tripping okay balls in your mouth um yeah so the balls were in my mouth um and i like was holding it under my tongue and i had my mask on in this restaurant and i like was too afraid to pull it down but i was like like trying to talk with my tongue being held down and no one was understanding me and i just ran out and tried to find a tattoo shop so that they would like screw it back on for me and i was talking to this tattoo guy for so long and he started ranting to me about like cleansliness and shit and i'm like like can you fucking do

your job and then by the time he like looks through the computer he's like oh our piercer is it in shop right now so actually we can't help you i was like what the fuck and then i had i said what the fuck out loud and swallowed the two ball bearings from my piercing and then in my dream it turned into like a really visual thing where the hole in my mouth was huge like big enough that i could like put a q-tip through it and like i don't know like it makes no sense but in the dream like i took the piercing out and it was really fucking gross and like infected and i was like trying to clean it and i was like freaking out and like it was it felt more like I was like a little like tiny

person in my nose like does that make sense it was a really weird dream but it was like so crazy it was literally scaring the fuck out of me because then I woke up this morning and I like touched my piercing with my tongue because I was like is it there is it yeah is it there did I take did that happen even though I don't know why that would happen if that makes sense like my I wish my tongue was strong enough to undo the ball bearings because't know why that would happen, if that makes sense. Yeah. Like my, I wish my tongue was strong enough to undo the ball bearings. Cause you know what that would mean. I mean,

yeah. Balls in my mouth. Literally balls in your mouth. But yeah. And then I've had other really, really fucked up dreams that are actually so fucked up. Traumatic. Yeah. And traumatic that i literally can't

publicly say them and also like it's like conjuring real shit like yeah like it's dark shit she's told me and i'm like you like need help like you actually need and i'm like i'm getting it it's not working and it's this isn't like um this isn't like um this is a like this is every night like this you have you have the worst i have like a terrifying dream at least once a week at least yeah and then sometimes when i'm really in it i'll literally have night when last summer i had like a nightmare about like family members dying every night for like four nights and it was gnarly i was like and you're like you really need to like stop manifesting this shit i slayed but yeah i i mean my dream schedule is like maybe i get a dream every once once every like two months um but i used to dream all the time i don't know what the fuck happened you gotta start taking melatonin so you can imagine like the craziest shit i need to stop

taking chlorophyll because it's well chlorophyll gives me like the craziest shit i need to stop taking chlorophyll because it's well chlorophyll gives me diarrhea that's why i have to stop taking it chlorophyll gives me constipation but i already have just like the worst guts in the world like i'm always constipated um all the time but i do nothing to fix it and i just like complaining about it and that's that on that like i love complaining yeah same like the thing is i could i go get like tests done to see what makes my stomach hurt so bad yes but then what would be the negative thing i get to complain about for five hours precisely because like i don't think people understand how important complaining really is it's fun it is fun it like actually opens the door to so many conversations to be had

and we're also just negative people all right keeps pointing that out she's like we literally have not said anything kind that was the gnarliest car ride of my life like that sent me into a spiral when she said that i was like oh my, we are not. You know what it is? Like, my life fucking sucked. That's it. I have no reason to be evil. I just, like, am. You had some emotional trauma.

Some labor. I'm like, you got something in there. Go on. The knock on your hat just now. Oh, it was my glasses. It scared me. Also, that was, I was trying to like. Huh? Huh?

No, because that was the same day we went to, what did we do that night? Like, for some reason that night, I got like drunk. Oh, that was the night you were DDing. Yeah, I was DDing. Yeah, because I'm back on my party girl you're literally party girl i'm like crazy cookie fun party girl like and i'm like dd which is a sleigh drunk driver yeah actually i have been um dd-ing recently which is pretty interesting because i me and drew both have pretty intense like social anxiety and um going to parties and being like the sober one is literally terrifying for some

reason yeah i mean honestly like going i was like oh this is like sceny like i'm gonna see people and like have to communicate with people that i'm not really friends with but i'm like acquainted with um but it really wasn't that bad yeah it's always like it's the moments going into it and then the first 10 minutes of being anywhere or like it's like literally i can compare it to this but not it's not relatable for anybody else but like going on stage for tour the first time like every show like the first like two minutes like they're the two minutes leading up to it were fucking awful but then getting on stage for tour the first time like every show like the first like two minutes like they're the two minutes leading up to it were fucking awful but then getting on stage and like literally 25

seconds after being on stage you're like completely comfortable yeah it's literally the exact same like the 10 minutes leading up to it i was like freaking the fuck out but then i was like as i was in it i was like whatever it's not the biggest i'll i'll be fine i'll survive yeah and i actually enjoyed it like i loved being dd like i loved dude it is fun but what makes it fun is like watching your friends have a good time and like just being like the trooper being like all right let's go like come on like wrangling everybody up is like fun um but yeah it's always like the first 10 minutes they're like but i've tried to do it more often just because like i i've gone to plenty social events sober

like i don't want to make it seem like i can't function in social events not being sober because i do it all the time but i mean specifically in party spaces or like dance rave experiences i feel like those are a little more like overbearing to be like the sober one which is actually kind of dumb because if anything there's like a slay in that because you're the only one literally the only person so fully there mentally um and i'm also really fucking embarrassing when i'm drunk so i don't know why the fuck i'm acting like i'd be falling over like i am gross the other day i okay also that night i like need to not be so brave like which shouldn't even be a thing that i have to worry about i shouldn't have to worry

about disregarding men and being like hopefully they don't kill me but the other night i was a fucking cunt yeah and i loved it it was deserving yeah it was rightfully so like men were weird men just think they can talk to you and if like there was way too much power let me talk to you let me talk to you you know damn i really just do just like you don't know how to just like sit i'm just not getting enough words in you know i i'm like i'm like the creative writing because every time you get a chance to speak you don't say anything when you get a chance to speak you're

like balls yeah balls i want you to be back on your party mode because you're fun demon time i'm just like i get like pretty bitchy i get pretty bitchy and i fall over you fall downstairs and scrape your elbows no me i'm like i talked about briefly talked about it like no i talked about it a lot like i'm just like pure fucking evil like it's evil and i needed like pace myself but like i said it's just like the fucking purge like every four months i just go evil like i go demon mode and then like maybe in between like there's a casual drinking setting but like i just literally don't know how to pace myself and like i don't understand i i don't understand how people my age like don't black out every night like you know what it is we i've said this before but it's because people our age are

like going to things more often so they're getting those little tastes of like going to a party like getting kind of buzzed and it's like okay i'm gonna do this again in like three four days like so i don't have to get blackout i don't know if i'm not blackout i'm not having a good time yeah no for me it's like i'm like if i like i'm like saying this as if i didn't like drink a bunch like recently because i was like bored but like but i felt like shit like i i like did the whole party thing for like and also when i say party i wasn't like getting blackout like me me being crazy is like i went out tonight i had two drinks i went out the next day i had a drink and then i went out the next day and i had four drinks and like all times i was

like yes i'm crazy like and like that was me being crazy but i just i don't know i i want to start doing it for the stories because yeah because we we always walk away from it with really good stories. Yeah. And then we sit here and we don't tell them. But I do want to tell one of them. I know which one you're going to tell and you need to tell them. Okay. So this was, what, 2017?

Maybe 2016. No, it was 2017 because I... Was it the year before we moved? Yeah. And it was like post-graduation. Okay. So it was 2017 because i was it was before we moved yeah and it was like post-graduation so it was like okay i used to come to la and like be very involved in the influencer like circle yeah i'm sure it's very obvious to you guys now like we're not very invested in influencer circles i don't even think it was obvious back then like no it was like very secretive we would go to these parties and like not tell anybody yeah so we loved going coming to

la and just having full la experience of going to all the influencer parties being around so uncomfortable it's so loud when you move okay do you want to switch chairs no i'm good i'm good like this you're chilling but we would come to these to la to like experience all these parties and shit and do i say the name yeah yeah of course i don't think it's it's not the worst stories of him they're pretty charming for the no no, they're not charming. I wouldn't say charming. Charming is me being nice, but he definitely has a worse rep now. Yeah.

But weirdly enough, I was hanging out with like Bryce Hall. Just that whole squad. Yeah. That whole squad of like dudes. And then like, like Loray was in that and we're friends with loray so that like makes sense like it was like that it was still that world of influencers um and i was hanging out with them a lot not necessarily not like hanging out but i was seeing them a lot because i was going to a lot of like bryce hollis parties um and i think there's like three of these stories in a row.

Or maybe more so two. I can think of two of them in a row. One party I went to. I'm there having a good time. And then I was like, you know what? I want to leave. I've been here too much. It's looking the same for me.

I want to go. I'm going to go bowling or something with some friends I was with. But before I left, I was like, I am going to steal alcohol. So I walked into the kitchen and I went and I was pouring like something into a bottle. It's like a plastic bottle. And from over my shoulder, I hear Bryce and he's like, Enya. And I was like, what? And then he was like, do you want to do a shot with us?

And I was like, no, I'm leaving. And he, I'm not kidding. This is the realest shit you'll ever hear. He pulled up his shirt and showed his abs and said, how about now? And I literally just stared at him and I was like, no, no. And I just turned and closed my bottle and walked away literally the most horrific thing potentially ever to happen i remember i was literally i felt like i was like in a vine yeah this was you now era so it was like kind of acceptable to act like this but it was still so confusing to see it happen in real life. I was genuinely shell shocked.

And I just walked out into my friends who we were all waiting for the Uber. And I told them what happened. And they were like, no. And I was like, yeah, like that just happened behind those doors. Like that makes no sense. And then the next party we went to Mr. Bryce Hall himself. Because all of the parties were at his house. Yeah.

We would go to these parties and it was like this house in the hills that i won't get into the details of the financials but it was a very fucked up situation for this girl i felt very bad for her um but yeah it was yeah it was just an insane crowd it was literally like the most random people it was exactly what when no there's there's not even a description of this kind of like activity on the internet because like as crazy as these fools are like publicly it's still it's literally like you might as well be like high on acid like it's it's like the most unreal i've also never done acid so i don't know why that was the first thing that came to my head um but whatever y'all say like the psychedelics do to've also never done acid. So I don't know why that was the first thing that came to my head.

But whatever y'all say, like the psychedelics do to your brain. That's literally what I don't need to do psychedelics because I experienced that. You experienced it with Bryce Hall. Yeah, I experienced that with Bryce Hall's existence in my like close circle. Also, despite everything, as far as I know, we're on good terms. He's cool. I at this time, I even still i used to make fun of him insanely on the internet it was crazy and he actually pulled me aside during this time because i was around him all the time and he was like no i think it's all fun and games like it's chill

and i could respect that out of someone because i am a huge shit talker bitter bitch and i will make fun of people till the day i die and if they're cool with it like that makes me feel awesome but basically at one of these parties we're all standing and there's like a balcony like area in this house. And the music's going. Everyone's talking. And like, it's a party, you know. Party.

Party. Party vibes. Party. And he gets on top of this balcony and just goes, everyone, shut the fuck up. Turn the music off. Like, roid raging. Angry. Veins popping out of his forehead neck all of it the whole and everyone's like oh something bad is about to happen what's

happening music stops and he's like who the fuck stole the weed out of my room and starts screaming and this was literally the scene from spongebob where Krabs goes up to like SpongeBob because his homie just comes in his ear and is like, what I'm assuming is like, oh, we found the weed. You what? We found the weed. Oh, okay. Never mind. Turn on the music.

Keep raging. Also, I forgot to mention, he threatened to beat the shit, beat the living shit out of the person who he thought stole his weed. He was i will beat the fuck out of you he's always been a fighter yeah he was like i will beat the living shit out of you um and everybody was like oh my god and yeah then his friend was like bro we found it and then he was like never mind and just turned around and like went back to like everything was normal. And those are my stories of him. I feel like there's one more that I'm like. It doesn't involve Bryce, but it involves Bryce's house. The literal like weed panic attack you had.

Oh. Is that the one you're thinking of? Dude, yeah. We don't necessarily have to go into it, but this is literally when me and Drew say we like can't just like partake in like weed culture literally like imagine going through psychosis at this house that i'm describing like literal nightmare like actual like like i can't i wish i could describe it it's just like the weirdest environment i'd ever been in my entire life it literally is just like out of a fucking movie it's out of a fucking tiktok like it literally is just like out of a fucking movie it's out of a fucking tiktok like it literally looks like it's a dream it was a dream come true we stole so many things yeah i i don't i think i

stole forks but that was really all i stole drunk goggles oh yeah the drunk goggles we had those yeah they're still in miami natalie has them literally she pulled them out the other day and i was like what the fuck we weren't living in la yet when we were with these parties this was like pre-la like we would come out for a little bit yeah and then we moved here and we just like we're not we're no longer in that scene and i would love to get back into it because of stories like that but like i think at this point everyone knows we're kind of trolls because every time we like kind of tiptoe around these people it's like okay they know they know it's up they know what i'm doing there is a oh my god this is the story involving bryce hall party he threw that fucking party on oct or on uh halloween and so like we

like we had this when we first moved to la we had this like group called the four loco villains. It was just everyone. It was everyone, um, in the squad like that, you know, Josiah, Lucas, Christian, all of us, and you know, Ryan, Josh, whatever. Um, and we would do this thing called four loco villains, which was, it was of course the purge. We would get four locos and just chug them and like literally become villains and like run the city for the night like joker style like just do whatever we could this is my joker art literally

do as much bad shit as possible um and i don't recommend it it's very dangerous and evil also bad shit meaning like troll the fuck yeah troll troll people not like actually do bad shit whatever um but uh there was this house party that like bryce was hosting um or like his homie was hosting it was basically bryce's house party they rented this airbnb in this weird neighborhood and uh we pull up it's immediately like a sinister vibe like it's it's immediately just like it's immediately just weird like it i mean it's not weird it's but it's just like not a party it's like yeah it's like a kickback with like 30 people because they also had gotten noise complaints by the time we got there yeah so we pull up on four loco mode belligerent belligerently drunk and we're like oh no we need to turn this

bitch up so like we go in there like full on energy and like start blasting music. I don't remember what song was playing. I don't remember either, but I do remember going in and like going to talk to someone who also I was like a raging cunt to and so mean to all the time

because I found them really annoying and rude. So I went to go troll them and like talk to them and i put my leg on a table next to me and knocked over that lamp i was about to say like so then literally india knocks over a lamp it shatters all over the floor like and instead of just being normal people like and be like oh fuck like i'm sorry we'll pay for this like we pull out our cameras and start dancing in the glass and like stomping on it and turning it into sand again basically and like literally just like picking up shards of glass and like faking like we're stabbing each other and then like there's a tv on the wall that's like in place it like sunken into the wall and like i pull it off the wall a little bit and

there's just like a pair of yeezys behind the tv and i take these pair of yeezys out and i'm like i'm gonna fucking steal these yeezys and then the dude who like rented the house for the party or whatever like um like literally like comes up and he's like y'all need to get the fuck out of here now and we're like no like what do you mean and we're like no and he's like no get the fuck out of my house and we're like okay whatever so like we make a giant scene leaving like yeah we like make a huge scene like me and drew walk out but josh stays in and is talking to bryce and them and bryce and everyone's like cracking up and they're eating it up because it's like literally the most fun the party had been yeah because it was dead in there um and josh gets them to chant like fuck and yeah and they all start screaming fuck and yeah and like i'm like at the door like hitting it and i'm like

and then i finally get back in and the dude who's running the party i'm like in the kitchen laughing with everyone and we're watching the video and the dude who run who's like meanwhile i'm trapped outside i'm trapped outside running up and down the street literally doing the same thing i did at that really rich mansion like two weeks ago telling like do not go up there they're having blood orgies like inya's inside having the time of her fucking life and yeah it was also we don't do that anymore no that was like a that was our six months that was that was like our magnum opus of for loco villain i think that might have been the last like hurrah yeah hurrah for the villains yeah because it was it was taking a toll on us and like we started to get invited out like it was taking yeah now we sit and we're like, why the fuck does no one invite us out?

And it's literally because we became the monsters of LA. Yeah, like we were the actual monsters of LA. I mean, we do get invited out. And I think it's with the same ideology of like, oh, we are monsters. Like, no one's inviting us to parties at this point being like, oh, they're social. They're social butterflies. It's literally like. Bringing the fucking clowns. Yeah, the fucking clowns yeah bringing the clowns bringing the entertainment these people

will be belligerent and like funny to watch and i'm okay with that like it's it's the moment we literally get all the attention in the world all eyes on us and that's all that really fucking matters at the end of the day is that if everybody's looking at you i know literally i thrive off of attention and i'm okay with that and i don't think it's something to be ashamed of i think yeah um an intense need for attention actually makes you more interesting of a person those who are like okay with like being alone and like to themselves and isolated loser yeah nerd me i'm crazy, do you read fucking books? I literally do read books. Oh, you're so smart. You're so smart and educated.

I'm so smart? No, I'm so smart. Bitch. When it's done to me, I'm like, okay, I know why it makes people angry. Dude, there was a point in my life where me chirping up on words and people pointing it out actually made me so insecure. I knew it. You brought it up and then I stopped doing it to you. But what I do is when people like stutter on their words or like slip up on their word,

I like finish the word for them and just like, oh, like schmo schmar. Like, what do you mean by that? Dude, you did it to me like two days ago. Wait, really? Yeah, I can't remember what it is, but like you did like, oh. Oh, what do you mean by that? But I also did it to you like i think a day ago yeah it's just all in funny it's when a stranger does it to me is when i literally want

to like disappear into nothingness because i'm like oh my god they think i'm stupid like speak dumb as shit um but we never really touched on weed psychosis like we we briefly talked about it but like just like the absolute panic and maybe this is something for another episode because it's a lot of stories but just like the absolute like just genuine fear that like anytime we smoke or anytime i smoke used to be you yeah um that happens is just like really gnarly i i think that would be like a good episode let us know if you want to hear about our psychosis yeah about our psychosis and scariness just let us know transitioning from weed we can go to the olympics and talk about the olympics that literally is a transition from them not letting um i'm blanking on her name for not letting her play and then literally those two

other white motherfuckers just like got a congratulations from like New York Times because it was like they were Olympians who started like a cannabis thing. That's actually so insane that she didn't get to go. It's wrong in every sense of the word. It's evil. It's pure evil. That's not what I was talking about. Oh, I literally thought I was like, damn, that is like a good transition you just made i was like genuinely no you i mean it popped into my brain but i wasn't gonna go there

but literally perfect transition it is wrong in every sense of the word and i think um the olympics she'll have her time to shine no she's literally the most athletic person i've ever seen in my fucking life like she literally will be there next year i literally we were watching running the other day and you and josh being like oh i could do that no we weren't saying that we were not saying that we could do that we were saying that like like how fast i could run a 100 meter dash i think hussein bolter has like a nine nine second nine sub 10 second world record and i was like oh like i bet i could run it in 16 seconds which like actually doesn't sound that insane because like running is like exponentially like shaving off a second and running is like a lot harder to do than like any other sport. I don't know.

That's what I was saying. I guess I just also like I'm like how again, that's just my stupidity. It's officially 101 in here. It doesn't it doesn't display 100 it just goes back down yeah he's so stupid but I think that's my small brain

showing again because I'm like I don't understand like what 100 like meters is and like on a track it's the first segment like the straightaway segment oh yeah then 200 is a curve with i don't know if i'm a fast runner i think you could you could do it sub 20 easily maybe we should go to it she's a runner she's a track star she gonna run away when it gets hot but the olympics in general are literally so insane to

me yesterday at lunch i had the realization like that was not me just saying something out loud that was a genuine realization i had i was like oh my god there are people who literally train their whole lives to be in the olympics yeah like there are people who from the age of like fucking 8 to 14 are like no i that's my dream i want to be in the olympics you know what i found out that some countries pay for gold medals like they pay you for gold medals like i think the payout for like a united states win gold medal win is like i think it's like forty thousand dollars per gold medal damn which is like fucking crazy which like makes sense why some of these fuckers are training their whole life like i mean like if i had to train for anything in the olympics it would be sharp shooting because you could literally just

be you could just shoot like you don't have to be fit uh no i i wouldn't like yeah because i guess that doesn't take like physical training i don't know what i would do i actually as a kid i've told you this before but i don't know if i've ever said it online i really wanted to be a gymnast because of the movie stick it like i wanted to do gymnastics so fucking bad. And I remember before we went fully broke and couldn't turn on the lights in my house when I was very young, I was like, please, please, please. Can I like do gymnastics? And my parents were like, yes, of course you can.

Bitch, tell me why the fuck we went shopping. And they're putting a little leotard on me, but it's like pink and fuzzy. And I was like, no, I was like, OK okay this doesn't look exactly like what i was imagining i was like thinking something like red with like a stripe and like something else but you know i'll take this and then i show up to class bitch why the fuck am i in ballet right now i don't want to do fucking ballet and i remember i was so pissed and i would like sofia was in the class they put sofia in the class with me i think that's why they put me in ballet so we could do something together because i guess also it is kind of like a rite of passage for little girls like some little girls like i was like i want to

start doing backflips bitch like i don't want to do this i was so mad i want to swing from the bars i wanted to do that so bad i literally like would daydream about like fucking putting chalk on my hand and like running around. Stop in slow motion. Yes. I wanted it so bad. And I was so mad about ballet. And I have a very distinct memory of one time me sneaking out of class with Sophia and like dragging her along with me and just like putting pillows down on the floor and like jumping over them and like doing my own little like thing in there and yeah and then i lost all ambition for life and the lust for life and we couldn't afford that kind of stuff anymore but basically what i wanted to say about the olympics is like it actually is fucking hilarious to me how like we've literally been doing this since like the dawn of like human consciousness

it's the most like human it's so primal like we literally like since the coliseum we've just been like fucking like flipping around flipping around like running and like chanting for our country like that's just so funny like really think about it like we've been like we're just so human you know like the olympics is the most human shit ever like primal like animal like animal instinct to be like competition yeah jump like i'm better than you and i'm gonna prove that i'm better than you and i'm the best in the world like and like then i watch it and like my animal brain turns on and i eat that shit up every fucking time like no matter the event i'm like yes like go like win like no matter and it's also like whoever wins i'm like you you won i knew you were gonna

win that shit that's your worst i mean you're like oh no i knew it i know i knew it i was i was thinking about that already like i know no i know that's a huge insecurity of mine and every time i say it i'm like why did i say that but i literally do i literally do think it and then before i just don't say it and then you say it or someone else says it between us it makes sense like because i feel like we see the same thing all the time and we're always ingesting the same thing so we and we are very like in sync yeah it's like when girls periods sync up but your private parts synced with mine see i'm getting aired out i'm getting aired out right now because i know everyone makes fun of me about it no i'm sorry it's okay because it's just my little

quirk it's just who i am no no one talks about it but it's just so funny because you be like that's every time like like it's mainly in like competition things you're like i fucking knew it no i say it at literally everything my dad says that too i was like i was just about to say that i swear i was gonna say that when dante showed up to miami to surprise my dad my dad was like i knew it like i knew it like and he talked about it all night he was like no y'all think i'm joking but like i knew it and we were like okay and he was like no i'd like why do you think i showed up here like i knew it and like we'd be talking about something else and he'd be like let me tell you something i like knew. Literally, it's a pride thing.

I think it, I think it stems down to like pride. And I'm like, I wish I said that. Or like a jealousy thing because everybody got a laugh from it. And I'm like, I wish I said that because I did know that. And I did say that. Well, you are intelligent and amazing and you should just start speaking your mind. I do know a little about a lot. But you know what's the problem is because your dumb little ass lets things like balls

in my mouth come out instead of other things. Instead of saying like the intellectual thoughts you have, lets things like balls in my mouth come out instead of other things. Instead of saying like the intellectual thoughts you have, you're like balls in my mouth. Because it's way better. It's way better. You're like balls in my mouth. I almost said that. No one wants another smart person. Everybody wants a clown.

That was deep. That was deep. Literally me when I show up to the party. When I show up to a party that I'm invited to, I'm like, they didn't want another hot girl. They wanted a silly girl. Someone made a TikTok that really struck a nerve with me. And they were like, I used to in life be like, I'm not the hottest girl, but I'm the funniest girl. And then I get on this app and I see the hottest, funniest people in the world.

And I'm like, oh. So there's combo meals. Choose one. Choose one one there's literally combo meals out there running around and here i am you can't be both funny and hot it's not fair it's not yeah i know i mean honestly look at us like we're both funny and hot touch me we're both funny and hot i don't um i would consider myself like pretty and like when i when I put all my driving force into it I could be hot yeah I agree and for me you agree yeah I think you're a hot person okay and I want to bed you and for me everyone calling me hot has done absolutely nothing for me I thought it would

be good for me I thought it would be good for me i thought i'd be like oh finally like i am attractive but no like i still think i'm the ugliest well now now it just sets an expectation the best thing to ever happen to me was josh's vlogs and seeing how fucking ugly i can look on camera and i was like oh okay yeah i don't have to be hot all the time like i am a person yeah and i was like that was a very humbling and like grounding experience because before that all the content of me was like stuff i had filmed perfect angles yeah like lighting and then like there's specifically one clip of me in one of josh's vlogs i was like i am just a person huh i'm just a simple human. I was like, that's okay.

I'm not Carly Jenner. Oh, I am for sure no Carly Jenner. I'm silly. Who's Carly Jenner? I'm a silly Billy. Who the fuck is Carly Jenner? Your mom, bitch. There's no one named Carly Jenner, and my mom's name is not Carly Jenner.

I'm really confused by this, and it's starting to irk me. You're so fucking stupid. Who the fuck is Carly Jenner and my mom's name is not Carly Jenner. I'm really confused by this and it's starting to irk me. You're so fucking stupid. Who the fuck is Carly Jenner? Shut up. I think we're fucking done. No, your credit score. Oh, I had to update. My credit score is awesome.

It's back to normal. Yes, I found. And I just want to say that as further proof that that shit is not fucking real. And guess what? To get it back to normal, I didn't pay my goddamn gynecologist bill and i'm not gonna pay it hey that's a lie i really need a pap smear someone did leave i'll do it someone did leave a comment i'll do it for free someone did leave a comment that was like medical bills don't affect credit scores and i was like is that true i didn't know so it was the gas bill we paid the gas bill finally the gas bill

oh my god we paid the gas bill i know but we already have one loaded up we're already back on our bullshit we're already back in our bullshit we're back to round one we could just wait another year i'm down i'm down but also something that we took a note of that we didn't talk about is just knowing a little about a lot i don't need i don't need to know a lot about anything i can know a little about everything the thing is with i don't know if it's like the attention problem in my brain i don't know what it is but when people ask me about things i have no idea what they're talking about and then if they show me a photo or they show me the thing they're talking about i'm like oh my god i literally love that like oh my like what the

fuck so then for the most part i sound really stupid because someone will mention something to me that i know about and have spoken about and i'm like in that moment my brain is like it's it's literally this scene in spedge while going through all my files and like what it's pulling up is like not matching it's burning um i don't know anything about anything and that's okay that's what i tell everyone because that builds the standard it's like what i did in school with having like really shitty grades so that when i pull up with a c you're like okay you're working i had a 4.2 gpa when i graduated i'm not kidding i think i had like a 2.8 yeah i was a genius in high school sorry sorry about it sorry about it i was just sexy personally like i was popular and sexy and you were a nerd and i was a popular loner i was a popular loner no I was a popular loner.

No, we literally both describe ourselves like that. It's so fucking annoying. I'm like, everyone knew like who I was, but like didn't know me. Like actually though, like I was friends with everybody, but like I didn't really fit in with the jocks. I didn't fit in with like the like popular kids. Like. Same, but you could dabble with them if like

if you were in a room alone with them it was like oh yeah I can hang here yeah but I was literally people knew who I was because I was a needle in a haystack I was like white girl blue hair like yeah everyone's fucking seen that idiot walking down the hallway it's like I literally I was begging for attention with my hair colors I I was literally like, blue today, pink tomorrow, Ramona flowers. Everyone knew who I was because of the way I dressed. Oh, because you looked like shit. I looked like absolute shit. Like, there are some fits that I threw in high school that I was like, boy, what the fuck were you thinking?

Like, I wore overalls. You showed up to school looking bummy as fuck. I literally looked bummy as fuck sometimes. No, it was serving. I just never wore uniform and I always wore the same like black skinny jeans with like a random graphic tee and then I would get yelled at and told to go change and I wouldn't change. And what I would do was put on a hoodie and I had cut a collar from one of my like uniform t-shirts and I would wear it like a necklace.

So it looked like I had a uniform shirt under it and i would do it with graphic t-shirts too i would just like wear the collar there and i'd be like i am wearing a uniform under this and they'd be like take it off and i'm like i can't i can't or i would wear a hoodie with only a bra under it and they'd be like you need to take that off and i'd be like i literally can't because i'm naked so do you want to see me naked because i'll follow a lawsuit right now i'm suing literally that's like some of the most creative shit i've ever heard when you when i saw you do that color thing i was literally blown away i was like you're a genius like everything you do yeah they don't make enough people like me in our lifetime no literally like

you're a one in a million you're a one in a billion you're a one in seven they don't make enough people like me in a lifetime the only creative shit I ever did as a kid when I was like, oh, like I'm the smartest person alive is we would have these field days at the end of every semester. Or no, maybe it was at the end of the year where like it was no class. It was just like running around like doing. It was basically the Olympics for like school. And like you could like buy sodas from concession stand. You could buy candy, like all that shit. And it was just during the school day. And me and my friends were like, Oh, like we're about to tear this shit up. So we like bought all of the sodas.

I'd like put like $50 down. We bought all of the sodas and they were $1 each. And I spent $50 on sodas and I bought 50 sodas and i spent fifty dollars on sodas and i bought 50 sodas and like there were no more sodas so it's like supply and demand mind you i'm like young as shit like i didn't know what any of this meant so you were scamming i was entrepreneuring um and i bought all of the sodas and flipped them for two dollars and i started making my money back i made like maybe 30 bucks selling sodas because no one could buy sodas. And so I was the only person selling sodas. So they had to buy them for $2.

And then my principal caught on and took all of the sodas, all of the money made and the $50 I put down. Okay, now that. And stole from me. They stole all of my shit. I was going to say, you should have told your parents,

but your parents would have been like, bitch, what the fuck are you doing at school? They're like, you're literally like breaking the law. I just realized the reason i favor papa john's is because in my k through eight school um on wednesdays they would sell a slice of papa john's for a dollar after school and then you could go oh my god this fucking meal was immaculate you would go you would get a pickled egg or a hot sausage a hot sausage was a dollar though

a pickled egg was 50 cents so like you had to ration and i would like on my good days have two dollars and i would get a fucking slice of cheese pizza a pickled egg and like i think it was fago sodas like they were in cans yeah um and like i would get the fucking grape flavor oh my god a great flavored soda papa john's pickled egg smush the egg up bite a hole in the end you lose me and you use your teeth you like you lose me i'm literally stop because i'm gonna fucking order those eggs right now i'll try them on the next podcast but like you lose me every time on the pickled egg like i'm sorry like if you were from i think it's like an east coast thing like not even just a south thing but like especially from florida or miami those like pink ass pickled eggs pickled eggs are so fucking good something about them are

delectable but hot sausages were a dangerous game we all knew as kids we were like don't leave it out in the sun because like maggots will start crawling out of it and like that was like i don't know if it was a myth or it was like a true legend but i would still fuck up a fucking hot sausage oh my god getting a pickled egg and a pickled sausage and like putting it in the same bag and smushing It's like a true legend. But I would still fuck up a fucking hot sausage. Oh, my God. Getting a pickled egg and a pickled sausage and like putting it in the same bag and smushing it up. That. See, I would be down to try that. Oh, pickled eggs are kind of like tubby custard because in color and texture.

And back to Papa John's. Like, I used to fucking hate Papa John's. But you literally changed my life. Papa John's is so good. You changed my life because now it's the only pizza i will eat it's the only fast food pizza exactly i was also having this conversation i don't do pizza like someone was like what's a good place to get pizza and i was like what the fuck are you talking about i don't go out of my way to go get pizza if i'm going to a restaurant i want real

food like literally get papa john's like a normal fucking person yeah and i called pizza like an american thing and someone was like it's italian and i'm like okay but like that's americanized to me like pizza and burgers that is fast food like i am not i'm not spending good money i'm not going to a restaurant and buying a burger like you're a monster yeah what like you want to if you want to like eat something nasty like a burger yeah you go to mcdonald's where they do it right yeah and it's not exactly oh my fucking god there's the the two cheeseburgers with the little onions on it is literally the best food i've ever put into my body i will i am a stand for mcdonald's i will ride i will like a mc chicken do you remember on wednesdays when they would do like the 50 cent burgers they used to do

that and that was like my dad would buy us like burgers every wednesday because it was literally 50 cents to feed your child which is such a steal they need to bring that back girl they're putting deer ankles in those burgers for 50 cents the deer ankle wendy's chicken nuggets no it's literally fucking mud pies. Like, it's not real meat. They literally go out to the cows and they skip the cows. And you're like, you know what? We're just going to get the fucking shit pies.

And they scoop them up and put them on a patty. But they were so good. But the only thing was the 50 cent, like, deal, I don't think covered McChickens. And McChickens is where it's at. Like, a nice, like, mayonnaise covered lettuce McChickens. No, because what are they putting in the McChickens? They are putting the bird pussy in the McChickens. I swear to God.

The pussy part of the bird. I swear to God because them shits. No, it's definitely the titties because it's like nice and like. It's the pussy part. It's the thrissy, the throat. I saw people saying I like can't have a bussy. I know all the comments were like, nope. And I'm right.

And you're wrong. Okay, fine. I can't have a bussy, but I do have a thrissy. You are the throat goat. Like you are the throat goat. Drew would know. Well, let's get into media, I guess. But yeah, the 50 cent burgers were so good and mcchickens are awesome dude the fucking um the vagina sandwiches from mcdonald's i love those

like what is wrong with you um okay you want to go yes So my songs of the week are Mad Lucas by The Breeders and Driving Online by The Breeders. And then Ho Problems by J.T. Money. I'm pretty sure. Let me make sure. Yeah, by J.T. Money. And then Breakout by N.E.R.D. Those are the four songs i'm willing to give i'm like the that i'm willing to give to you literally three of the most popular songs of all

time um okay well my songs are audio featuring drake uh by oh romeo santos santos juror's not kidding like i've actually gotten ptsd and woken up on a Sunday in my fucking LA home. And it's Drew shirtless, wiping the walls down, listening to Odeo. I was so shocked. Literally, that shit turns me up in a way I cannot describe. Then I've been listening to Watermelon Hero by T tisha korean yeah literally the best song ever huh want to cut um and then i'm just gonna say it i'm on my is it by chata yeah it is i well i baby

dude i'm not kidding hearing that song the other day in the car, I hadn't heard it in so long and it's so good. You like that? That was crazy. But yeah, those are my three songs. I don't have any book recommendations. I don't have any. Actually, I'm still watching Better Call Saul. Especially since they're filming the new season.

I'm like, I gotta get through this. And I literally still love Mike and Saul. And I'll have sex with both of them. Oh, actually, I don't know what Mike is looking like nowadays. Because he was already pushing it. He was already pushing it in 2008. Yeah, I haven't consumed any shows. I'm gonna consume you. I haven't consumed any like... I'm going to consume you. I haven't consumed...

I don't think I've consumed any shows that I was like, oh, I need to talk about this. Or like books even. I'm trying to think of anything we've watched. A New Earth. I've been... I'm rereading for the third time. I love that book.

We've been watching Sexy Beasts. Oh. That show is unreal. On Netflix. That's actually such a good show i love it it's like the mass singer which like okay mass singer when it first came out even for like five years i was like fuck this show we are going in a very dark direction i hate everything about like like mainstream media right now like this is actually evil yeah um and made by the devil

um i watched a few of the episodes and i was like oh my god this is like literally so tailored for like my human monkey brain it's like brain it literally hits every spot in your brain like it does everything right and i watched like 30 episodes with my mom in one night i remember it's the same concept literally while you were doing that i was back in la and randomly without speaking about it i also binge watched all the reveals on youtube for some reason and i was like even though i had to rock i was like what the hell t-pain was under there um but yeah and that's our media of the week that's our episode of the week come back next week we'll be here for the rest of time or maybe one day you'll come and look at us and we're in a big fancy studio and you'll

think to yourself, where did all the time go? I want that edit in six months when we have our studio. If we get there. Also, stop being surprised that every week there's an episode. That's what a podcast is. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess it's surprising for us. Damn, three videos in a month

i'm like come on guys like why are you acting like this is a shocker yeah i'm like stop being surprised this is what a podcast is as if the last podcast didn't die yeah also i'm in my fisherman okay girl bye my fisherman era we'll see you next week oh you're stinky we'll see you next week oh you're stinky Outro Music