Emergency Intercom - Drew and Enya went on a date
Episode Date: April 5, 2024save emergency intercom, take the survey: https://forms.gle/W6HshHtG7FCwnCgR9 Enya and Drew went on a date and it didn’t work because he’s g*y, but Drew is also flirting with their female landlor...d? Very confusing… https://www.patreon.com/emergencyintercom join the Patreon for bonus episodes, q&a/topic submissions, livestreams, pay for ky's lobotomy Get 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code EMERGENCY at https://www.liquid-iv.com/ business inquiries: emergencyintercompodcast@gmail.com instagram: @emergencyintercom @emergencyintercomclips tiktok: @emergencyintercompod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Spotify, this is Javi.
My biggest passion is music.
And it's not just sounds and instruments.
It's more than that to me.
It's a world full of harmonies with chillers.
From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. and yet that was the worst sound i've ever you know what's crazy is i like made sure that my
voice was low enough because every time i scream on zoom episodes it like blocks me out so i just
hit a new octave like i just unlocked a
new sound humans can make by doing that yeah that was really crazy what's up girl it's been a couple
days since we've seen each other i know it's so awkward it's like we're meeting for the first time
i'm nervous you look good should we go on a date thank you you don't yeah oh okay um well uh i think i'm gonna
wait let's just cosplay the the date okay um okay well what'd you get up to today i fingered myself
oh okay um i think i'm gonna get a drink do you uh what drink are you gonna get like four shots oh up shots we can i'm i i'd be down for
shots after we eat maybe like if things go better you're gonna eat food you you need more food
i i haven't eaten all day i've been like you can get like a little house salad or something
but i'm not paying for that okay i didn't ask for you to pay for my food. I like can pay for my own food.
Well, you seem like you would know a lot about not loving yourself and nourishing yourself.
So this is the worst date I've ever been on. I don't think it's my fault. I think it's your
fault. Like, I think you're very weird. And I plan on going home and not only saying what restaurant I went to,
tagging my location and making sure I give a good enough description
that people could find out who you are and you're done.
So are we going to do S or not?
No, I don't plan on hooking up with you.
I don't know why you...
I don't know at what point you thought that was...
Rude.
Loser.
And seen.
Seen. And that's me for all the people who think me and Drew should actually date that's what it would go like that's what every single
one of my dates look like every one of them were you playing someone else or yourself
no I was that's how I act on dates oh I didn't know that um we should probably have a conversation about that that's riz bro
that's riz you said holy shit drew like yeah i'm surprised you don't have a baddie in bed every week
with that riz um no if i found out you actually ever acted like that on a date i'd be so pissed
i'd be like bro are you serious like i have to talk to him not only did i have to teach him how
to wipe his ass but now i have to teach him how to wipe his ass but
now i have to teach him how to date how to be a normal person on dates also so that i don't get
like because somehow that would be my fault if it became public knowledge that you acted like that
they'd be like i can't believe anya lets him do that like i can see it being my fault whoa
something i've been every time we are on a zoom call like episode no matter what you will be
looking at yourself and seeing what face you can make it's just i hate my body like do y'all ever
do this like hold on let me pull these back wait i look cute like this hold on i look cute
oh fuck y'all ever just like pull the sides of your face up and be like oh that's good
like y'all ever go like that's good
that's what I should look like I need to get plastic surgery to look like that
oh not much changes for me because I'm pretty perfect but that's because you have like literally
the most perfect face shape ever thank you you do look really pretty today every time i get on zoom i'm like wow and he's beautiful
you only look pretty over phone calls yeah i don't look pretty in person in person i'm really
jarring and scary to look at i actually genuinely think the opposite like i see myself in videos a
lot of times i'm like y'all please that's not what i look like like that i look better in person i
swear even though i've literally never seen myself in person.
But I don't believe cameras show who you really are.
Yeah, like that's something I wanted to talk about today.
I saw someone made a video talking about mirrors and like, duh, everybody knows like mirrors
are inverted.
So like you haven't like actually seen yourself unless you like use the inverted filter on
TikTok or like whatever.
I feel like even that is like
exactly exactly distorting you but like the real tea that no one's talking about is like mirrors
are fucking scary like they're actually demonic and witchcraft like i'm not even kidding they're
like purely magical like i understand it's a piece of glass with like this coating on it so you can see your reflection. But like, what the hell was that?
What was that?
I'm back on the wagon, y'all.
I got a new buff bar.
What is that?
It's a flute, actually.
It's a harmonica.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Dude, that matches your baba, your hamster water bottle so well.
Do you have the hamster bottle with you?
Gender reveal. Literally, those two are like a match made in heaven i'm gonna do the gq 10 essentials
i'm like first i need my binky and then i need my baba your baba and binky um but no mirrors are
evil demonic witchcraft like i genuinely believe that because like really you're gonna tell me
that's like another thing like the the creators that be like okay there's a few things i need to talk
about and i'll like kind of list them off and then we can like react to them together
okay the simulation creators the powers that be have this is you right now by the way way
too close to the fucking sun right dollar tree you just fell out of a coconut tree
in the context
and what came before you here yeah that's you right now of all that you will this you've been
of all in which you have lived and what came before you
that was kamala harris by the way i love i literally love kamala harris cringe compilations
those are a great video to deep dive on and kamala harris iconic pop culture moments i think she has
definitely been microdosing every day of her life since the moment she became vice president she's been microdosing adrenochrome and baby stem cells and she needs to give some to joe literally joe
here's your little stem cell you want some stem cells um well what i was saying is that um
the simulation creators have been flying too close to the sun recently
and you know what tipped me off that they're like trying a little like too hard to like
like make the future happen and i'm like babe just let it happen naturally like it will you
don't have to force it bitch neuro link is like i know i talk about it all the time, but the more I think about it, that shit is fake as dust.
And I'm not buying it.
And the simulation creators tried some new shit with me
and it's just not happening.
I'm not letting it happen.
It was working for a second though.
They got you for a second.
They had me in for a second, but then I thought about it.
It is like, no, like it freaks me out.
It freaks me out. it's like 32 different connections
it's like they plug it into your brain and then all of a sudden you're allowed to play like civ
six when you're paralyzed like no like i'm not i'm literally not buying that you're not selling
that to me like i'm not buying that like put it in my brain and i'll tell you if it works for real
for real yeah so what you're saying is you are the only reliable source for Neuralink and that's why
they need to give it to you. No, that ass. Like I'm a narcissist. Like I won't believe it works
until it happens to me. Like, I think like, not that I don't believe that it can do something.
I just don't, when something is useless to me, I just don't think it should exist like that provides no knowledge for
me it does not like expand my mind i don't feel like i'm seeing the universe from a new
fucking selective narrative or anything it does nothing for me and i actually i still don't know
what the neural link is for like i know it could be used to help like brain chemistry and shit right now it's to control computers
basically like you like can if you can't use a mouse and eye tracking is doesn't work for a long
time because you have to sit completely still and like look around and like you can't like
move around they put this chip in your brain so you can control a mouse so you can live a more normal life.
Also, he was playing the Neuralink create or the first Neuralink patient was playing Mario Kart within like two days of it.
And he was controlling it all with his fucking mind, like all the buttons, like the go, the stop, the reverse, the throw, the green shell.
He threw a green shell, a green shell at another car and
aimed it and threw it perfect timing like yeah fucking right no i'm not buying it y'all aren't
getting me for some reason for the first time i like do believe that but only because that
study that i saw and i need to stop getting my sources from tiktok because this shit could be
fucking bullshit and not real but i'm not gonna look it up because i actually can't give a fuck
about science sorry everything science had to teach me it's taught me already i'm good i like
magic and wonder and i don't want to know why things happen and why things work but your ph
balance and your bikini is a little off you need science for that no because you need jesus for that you need jesus for that odor um no my the wonders of my body and the calcified
water of new york city will heal me i thought you would say the calcified fetus that's been
in your gut for the last seven years that's floating around in my gut have you seen that no bro wait is it the older lady yes a grandma fucking fetus inside of her
uterus for like 70 years and it just turned a fucking stone in her and she like went in for
like a routine checkup and it fucking was just in her gut i wasn't telling you that i was telling
the rest of the people that didn't know. But what the fuck were you saying?
Body is tea.
Miss body is tea.
Oh, because of that thing that they had, like the fetuses and like baby brains they were building in a fucking lab, like how humans are just obsessed with cloning and we need to get the fuck over ourselves because also humans are not that great like we don't need more of them we're good whatever we don't need to make them in a lab
like bitch i don't need to instacart a baby anytime soon like we don't need but what if they
can change the code to make them super humans i would be so fucking annoyed are you kidding me
my baby came out like extremely smart and i was just like kind of like useless but no literally
if babies came out perfect.
Every other human living would be obsolete and they would probably fucking kill us.
And I don't, I think babies are meant to be stupid at birth.
I don't want a fucking super baby.
I don't want a baby who could decide to sing one day and just like change its fucking like
lung placement or whatever the fuck makes humans sing normally, which that's another
thing that confuses the fuck out of me is it's crazy.
You can't teach yourself to sing. Look james charles all those singing classes no you can't do it
look at me i did i thought i just know how to sing oh let's hear let's hear a song
wait hold on give me what is that okay yeah dude it's that's doing something to the mic that there's voices in your singing like
voice is the fucking voice no no what's the roy orbson song i'm crying crying crying
we actually need to sign you up for american idol i'd be so happy if i got on
golden ticket actually you know what take the million dollars i wonder if you could
somehow get past maybe we could find a song because I feel like the
biggest flaw with American Idol and things like that is I genuinely do believe there is a song
for everyone that everyone can sing at least one song well yeah mine's the Beyonce Dubai Rift yeah
that's yours um mine is the ABCs no mine is unfair because I'm a really good singer.
So it's just like...
You have a view.
I actually did Hello, It's Me by Todd Rundgren at karaoke the other night.
Talk about a vibe killer.
Damn.
No one was happy.
They did not fuck with it.
My B work.
We need to insert the Bjork video, right?
Oh, you do sound good.
I guess it would make sense.
I got the Bjork.
Which song was it
um little things off the mountainside what is that time sensuality no that's not it it was um
sometimes i look over the mountainside and throw little things off and close my if my if i hit the
ground will my eyes be closed or open those are lyrics, but I don't know what fucking song that is.
I'm looking it up.
Close my eyes, will be closed or open.
Oh, Hyper Ballad.
Yes, Hyper Ballad.
That's my shit.
That's my one song I can sing.
We live on a mountain.
On a mountain. Yeah, that would make sense that the only one you can do is like a scary little voice.
It's not reading well over.
Before you wake up that song is about me and you and you by the way oh but i did about us or um no i think it just
pertains to our life mainly but every morning
before i wake up i think about offing myself every morning and while you're asleep or no no
sorry every morning while you're asleep when i'm awake i'm thinking about offing myself and then
i go through all that before you wake up so i can be a, better version of myself for you. You should probably get help.
Yeah.
Yeah, I honestly should.
I'm not going to be there for you though
because that sounds like a lot for me.
Am I getting actor right now?
No.
What do you think you're doing?
Someone's in the door.
What?
I'm having one of those days where I don't, like, want to do anything but use my phone.
Like, some mornings, my phone just calls to me.
And it's like, we need to work together.
Like, you've been off of it too long.
Like, my screen time was, like, actually, I want to see.
My screen time was really low the past few days because I'm in New York and I'm seeing my friends.
I'm doing all that stuff.
Twerking?
Are you twerking at all?
Oh, you don't want to know kind of shit you don't want to things that i know oh you know the kind of things that i know
oh yeah my average screen time since i've been here is like four to five hours
which is gorgeous because a lot of that also is like me looking at fucking google maps and like
trying to figure out where i'm gonna get hojicha because i'm addicted to hojicha lattes right now gorgeous because a lot of that also is like me looking at fucking google maps and like trying
to figure out where i'm gonna get hojicha because i'm addicted to hojicha lattes right now
weird thing i blame it on rain because if y'all don't know who rain is she's a fucking freakily
gorgeous model but she's obsessed with teas and shit and making little concoctions and
and i had one and you know what it is i had the thing where I have a drink and then I have like
the best day ever mentally and when I got to New York I went to the the like toast the cute toast
spot which you still haven't been to which is kind of insane um but I had a hojicha there and then I
continued to have the best day ever so now I need it every day because um that's how I took my brain into having a good time
that makes like oh you're tasting this remember how good you felt when you taste psychologically
makes a lot of freaking sense um but yeah I'm just having one of those days where I woke up
and I was like I need my phone like I need to be with my phone I've been just kind of like
distant and not giving my phone the
attention and love it deserves I was about to say I'm like the complete opposite I'm smothering my
phone and she's like actually pissed at me she turned off my favorite thing is when Drew's phone
dies he just uses it as a like notion from the universe to take a nap because he's too lazy to get up and charge it like you literally just turn over and go to sleep i'm gonna go to sleep and
then i wake up and i'm like why is my phone dead why is my phone dead um what the fuck
yeah i need to use my phone more notes that i have sure also kai's not dead he's here somewhere in the zoom universe can i join
can i join if you have a hand over your face yes sorry i didn't hear you oh my god cover that
fucking mug bitch oh my bad i don't even know wait you just asked to join
you turned on your own camera no one turned it on for you
okay how do i do this let's see um okay i fixed it can you hear me though
there's a voice fucking voice voice the fucking voices. He's bad.
Hey.
Kai is phasing in and out of existence.
We're working, bro.
What do you mean? I know, we're doing the fucking podcast.
Like, hello?
Sorry, I was just trying to tap in.
We don't talk to you for fun.
This is work.
Like, don't play.
Come on.
I'm just chilling.
What's up?
Drew, you look good. No, I look puggy, and you can say up? Drew, you look good.
No, I look puggy, and you can say that.
No, you look good.
I swear to God, I keep looking at you.
I need to do that.
Dude, for Drew's birthday, when I was looking through all the photos,
I realized almost all of my photos of Drew that I have on my phone
are him doing that fucking smile.
Oh, my God. I'm so fucking ugly y'all I'm
literally you can't make yourself look ugly and then be like oh no no no just even outside of that
like like this I'm not gonna shower you in compliments because you do this thing where
you like search for compliments by calling yourself ugly and then when somebody gives
you the compliment you're looking for you just go i know i know i know bitch i know i know oh no i'm balding like i'm
actually balding i'm about to like join you on some thin and noxidil no i'm not kidding i'm like
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um i think your ovaries fall out if you say yeah that's not too bad though
honestly more p words it's like not bad. Wait, periods?
Periods?
Why can't you just say P?
Oh my God, bro.
You're not even hiding.
I can still see you.
Wait, did we talk about when me and Drew saw Dune and he kept screaming Dune Pilled whenever it was quiet?
And then no, really what happened is you screamed while it was silent it was dead silent
we were at the tlc chinese theater biggest screen loudest theater ever it was beautiful but every
moment of silent was extra silent um zendaya and timothy just got finished doing s on the screen
and kai out loud was like zendendaya's riding Timothy's worm.
Big worm.
Yeah. And then Moadib.
Huge laugh.
Huge laugh.
No.
There was a big laugh.
No, there wasn't a single laugh.
Many to 50 people around us.
Kai rewriting history right now.
He's like, and then the theater erupted in laughter and everybody stood up and carried me and set me down
to the front like carrying you uh what's it called crowd surfing down to the front where people stand
for like q and a's and they get gave you a mic and put a spotlight on you you're like dude i don't
know the joke just came naturally like i was so happy that you guys enjoyed that like i plan on
publishing it did have that as a note for a couple episodes ago but i forgot to talk about it so thank
you for bringing it up but yeah kai and i were dune pilled this fuck dune-iverse um that's something
i've been working on i've been shopping it around and every time someone's heard me say dune-iverse
they were like gag like that's actually sick like so if you want to use it i give you permission
yeah i'm gonna probably put it on a t-shirt and
like throw that on red bubble make a couple hundred thou make a couple bands i'm out lonely
um okay so our toilets clogged boots as fuck it was you are clogging the fuck out of the
toilets at the crib because drew doesn't shit for like three weeks at a time.
And then when he does,
he unleashes the fucking Kraken from his asshole
and blows up the toilet and destroys it.
And then our landlord always has something to say about it.
Yeah, so it was clogged boots.
And I called our landlord
because I was going to have a plumber come on my own dime
because I was like, this is probably my fault i am probably going
to end up paying for it and i don't want to go through landlord because it always takes too long
um so i scheduled one and then i called them and i was like it's an older home and then i got really
anxious and that he was going to destroy the pipes because it is an old fucking home so i called the
stain um so i called minky our landlord
we have to explain that because like the way we always talk about our landlord not saying
our name right but her name is mickey and we have gone from like mickey to mick to mink to
mink stain because there was a time where we didn't fuck with her
because she would just come into our house you would just like come inside and be like hello
hello arm yeah and like yell for us we were like bro the mink stain is literally fucking coming
into our house yeah but now one of her nicknames is theain, which I like. And I love her. I love her.
I love her.
I just need that to be known.
But anyways, I was on the phone with her talking about and it was like six people in the car.
And I was on the phone and I had her on speaker and I was like, yeah, our toilets clogged.
Like I thought that was going to be the end of the conversation.
No, I mean, six different times.
She was like um is someone
constipated like are you constipated Philip like if someone is Josh constipated are you constipated
like are you making big poop and my landlord just kept talking to me about like my bowel movements
and I was just like no and then she got into this like funny flirty conversation with me where she
was like Philip you're so funny and real.
Like you like you're just like just authentic. And that's why I like you.
That's literally why I like you. And she's like kind of flirty with me.
And I just was like, yeah, like I am real. Like, I know, you know that.
And then she like we were playing around because I always send rent like a week late because I forget.
And I was just like, text me, me mink like just text me like if you
really want the rent text me and she texted me on the first she remembered yeah that's why you like
her because she flirts with you yeah because she's like she's a oh we only like her as a landlord
because she's like an older lady and we've now known her for almost six years so she's like sweet
in my eyes but she is like classic landlord i got a light
fixture changed i or i tried to get a light fixture in our house changed and the wiring was
so fucking old and untouched that it was a fire hazard and the guy who was doing it was like oh
i don't think i should touch this anymore because it's a miracle your house hasn't burst on fire
every time you've turned this light on because all of the wiring was like old enough that it's a miracle your house hasn't burst on fire every time you've turned this light on
because all of the wiring was like old enough that it's like cotton covered and it's like all burnt
all of the wiring was like burnt to a crisp oh bitch our ceiling is leaking again it's leaking
and it leaked all over my naguchi fucking lamp all over my fucking naguchi lamp i'm pissed but yeah this house is fucking falling apart and then she had
the audacity to come to the house she got on my ass and she was like why would you get a random
electrician to do this why wouldn't you tell me and i was like because this is a normal thing
people do like i was going to replace it back what and then she was like okay i can fix it it's just
going to cost you eight hundred dollars and i'm gonna have to break through all the walls and destroy the kitchen and i was just
like why is this costing me money i don't own this apartment what the fuck so she is classic
landlord scammer but we love her and drew likes her because she flirts with drew yeah that's my
girl but anyways so the toilet was clogged and then at the same time the sink and the tub clogged because me and then you have long voluptuous thick hair that's falling out and
we're balding and so it clogs all the drains and someone's shaving in the sink and yeah it is not
me i shave my face over the floor and vacuum it later i don't know who is shaving in the sink
but someone is clogging the fucking sink it's
probably josie he has to wake up and shave his beard every day so that the so that the bold
glamour filter stays looking good on him yeah literally um but i uh decided to take things in
my own hands because babes i'm a man i can do things i'm a strong boy well what did you
do i grabbed some drano some lye and uh i poured it in the sink and i poured a bunch in there
and as i was pouring it the lye splashed all over my hands it said wear gloves wear eye protection
wear respirator bitch i'm not doing all that shit. I just grabbed the plastic bag, held it around it and poured it. But I was pouring
it and it was squirting out weird. And it sprayed into the sink bowl and splashed back all over my
fucking hand. Um, I freaked out, immediately freaked out. I was like, my hand is going to
melt off. So I dropped the lie. And I ran to the sink in the kitchen and
washed it off. It was literally like, are like, within five seconds, it was already burning my
skin like it like Josh was there he could attest I had like red patches all over the back of my
hand. It's healed now. But then I remembered that's what they use to fucking melt that body and breaking bad. So I was literally decomposing my skin and rotting my flesh off, like burning, literally burning my flesh off.
Fight Club in that scene where he like tortures him.
What? You cut out.
Do you know when he makes soap in Fight Club?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The same shit.
Yeah, the same shit.
Bro, I've never seen fight club and i never plan on
seeing fight club that's a movie i started when i was 15 and i was like snooze fest i'm turning this
off bro you don't like fight club what about wolf of wall street i haven't seen that either
you like wolf of wall street i haven't seen that movie that's another movie i actually saw the first five seconds of oh greg gatsby is
cunt and american american psycho i feel like i've been taking a lot of cold showers
why it's good your testosterone i can tell your testosterone is really high
your aura is crazy i need eyebrow um i need thicker eyebrows
i need somebody to make a compilation of every time we've been on a zoom episode and how often
drew talks about his appearance and like the surgeries he needs i need i have well i need
botox in my master muscles i really think that would fix everything i just have a very strong
jaw masculine jaw i need to cut out sugar for 30 days to
de-puff my face and I'd be good.
I'd be
Max Goat.
I've been telling you this.
You need to do nofap.
Hell
no.
Hell no.
There's no way that changes the way you look.
It does.
You should have seen me before nofap kai was 8 000 pounds and covered in boils yeah before my three-day streak wait have you started
yet because i'm confused because that sounds like just like a description of me right now
no cooming for three days
kai i don't think you understood what anya just said what what'd she say i said have you
started that journey or is drew giving the current description of you now because that's what it
sounds like oh no i've been i'm like three days into my journey so no okay i'm gonna tell you
what we're gonna do for both of you to improve your looks okay
not much we're gonna get both of you a full frontal lace 22 inch wig i'm thinking platinum
blonde for the both of you period um you both need a little or kai needs a lip flip drew needs a lip filler and a lip flip um
i guess we can get you guys some eyebrow threads i do not need lip filler babe
dude you with lip filler would be fucking disgusting also all i can think about is how
badly i wanted lip filler when i moved to la it's like a rite of passage almost you guys think it
would look good if i got my hairline lowered you would look fucking disgusting you'd be so scary
an inch above that would look good yeah all right yeah period um yeah i melted off my skin with lie
um and it was really scary um should i talk about how the narrative around
contemporary art has been freaking me out yeah okay um this idea that modern art is bad or
contemporary art is bad because it doesn't look good or doesn't look realistic or doesn't fucking have all the details
in the world oh it looks like my kid could do it bitch then have your fucking kid do it that's not
the fucking point it's the the real point the real tea of it all is that um we've already gone
through we have fucking cameras bruh the reason art was good and realistic to you was because they were
fucking painting reality. They weren't, they were literally just documenting history and like,
that's the real tea. But now we have fucking cameras and phones to take pictures. So we don't
really need to do that. So people got bored and wised up, bitch, look at that art and paint your
own fucking story in your mind challenge, like challenge yourself babe because like not everything has to fucking y'all i watched this art documentary and it was driving me
fucking insane it was the comments were driving me fucking like you weren't agreeing with it
um the documentary like was really like egotistical and evil and it was about this like
art collector um and like actually was texting kai while i was watching it but like literally
art dealers are the most horrifying scary looking creatures and i use that word heavily they're
scary i don't think they're real i think they're literally demons and evil and like kai even can
attest like they have no souls like their their eyes are lifeless um but yeah i was just like looking at the comments
and people were like uh there aren't bad because there it's three colors on a canvas there and i'm
like babe like he gets to paint three colors because he painted realistically for 25 years
i whatever whatever you don't gotta like it you don't gotta like shit but at least be
educated on your argument well i just like to go to the museum and if it has nothing to do with me
i don't fucking like it like if it's not about like being a girl and being fun i don't fucking
like it i literally hate realism paintings they piss me off if it's not 1800 years old if it's some new shit and i
see a realistically painted iphone bitch why don't you just take a fucking picture of that
with the iphone because now you're pissing me off like it i agree with you so much it's so annoying
i don't want to see it but then there are some like photo realistic artists who i do like i think
it really just depends.
Also, art is so fucking subjective.
Y'all are so fucking annoying.
Some shit people like, some shit people don't like.
It's like music.
Like, am I going to sit here and talk the most shit about like a Taylor Swift?
Like, no, because she has some songs I like.
She has some songs I don't like.
And like, is she my like end be all of music? No, but I fully understand why people live and die by her. And that's the end of that. And like, it is such a bias based argument. And it's so fucking stupid. And I think
people in the art world are so with their head up their ass, and you weren't loved in high school,
and you just now have the money to collect things that hold value to you. And then you attest that
value to yourself, when actually, it doesn't make you a valuable person the art is what's
valuable exactly i saw someone um talking about uh cowboy carter and they were like take out the
context behind the album and listen to it um it's not a good album it's not a good country album
um bitch what are we talking about?
Take the fucking context out.
What are you literally, what are you saying?
That is like the entire fucking point of art is context.
I know.
Also, that's the entire point of music is the context in which it lies.
And I mean, like, there's some music that doesn't necessarily have a message.
It's just for shits and giggles.
But her whole shit has always been a part of a context like her whole discography bigger picture very contextual with
her life the thing she's going through blah blah blah also what she stands for um beyonce rock
album confirmed basically confirmed wait by who act three is gonna be rock album um she like was at the iheart music awards the other
night and um on stage she shouted out this the first guitar like rock electric guitar player ever
and act one was like whatever the hell you would call that gay music or whatever whatever the hell you would call that you mean her ode to ballroom like yeah yeah whatever the
hell that gay stuff was i don't know um no and then act two country act three rock with some like
i imagine if okay this like would make me so, but this would be the most iconic shit ever. If act three was like, like Sasha fierce almost. And it was like her ode to herself or like starting this like whole movement. But like, I can't like she's the girl like I love her. Tell me why we low key knew Beyonce was releasing a country album four years ago.
Yeah, me and Drew.
But we literally somehow knew,
but we didn't believe it at the time.
We were like, yeah, fucking right.
No, she's not.
But like, it turns out she was.
I know we had friends in the music scene
who were telling us about it.
And I was like, that sounds so random.
And then when it actually got announced, I couldn't fucking believe it.
Because I was like, damn, they were telling me the truth.
Why do I think everybody lies to me?
And yeah, I swear to God, I was thinking about that the other day.
Because I was like, oh my God, I need to order something off of line.
Or off of line.
I need to order something off line.
Off of the line um and i was thinking about like how like
i put a lot of trust in these people to actually say they're shipping what i'm ordering and then
it started making me spiral and i was like i'm not buying that because like what if they don't
send me shit and i'm just like it was like oh my god why can't i trust people like what is wrong
that like makes you a little fucking crazy
because i don't think like unless you're ordering from like a random scary website that's like a
thought you had in like 2010 and it made sense but to have that thought in like 2024 so crazy like
what if they don't even have the stuff at the place and uh but i guess that's not that irrational
because it still happens like i i literally i ordered a fucking record off of
what is it it's like hot merch bar merch it's some fucking website that sells like legitimately
sells vinyls and stuff maybe it's poop i never got my fucking record and i should have known it
was too good to be true because it was a rare ass record that was only being sold for 30 dollars
and i was like oh i'm gonna get this bitch it never came and it was a rare ass record that was only being sold for $30. And I was like, bitch,
it never came.
And it was supposed to come from fucking Kansas.
And I know some fucking old ass motherfucker posted it and then probably
died.
Cause it's how much was it?
It was like $30.
Oh,
okay.
That's not bad.
Yeah.
But I want my money back.
If it's too good to be true,
it might be true.
Oh,
I don't think that's the saying.
That was beautiful.
Thanks, babe.
Oh!
Cut that, cut.
We'll cut that.
What the fuck was that?
Oh.
Scared the shit out of me.
Fuck you.
Wait, what happened?
They have a ring camera in here and they just
made the alarm system go off could you hear it yeah i heard like it sounded like um
sounded like an rc car riding across the desk yeah it literally does oh i wanted to go back to
and you were saying like art is subjective and i totally agree like oh some people like rothko some people like
jeff koons and like i like stuff like this
how many how many art is subjective until i see that shit and i'm like y'all are fucking weird
yeah i like stuff like this i literally saw kai this thought come into your head when you were
talking when we were talking about it i saw you smile and i was like what is he cooking up bro i know um i went to the board ape store today
like we've been a couple times to the weed shop it's down the street from where i get uh my
lobotomy and i was like i need because i know that store is going to go out of business
like there's no way that it exists
two months and I was like I need
some ape water but
I walked up and I kid you not
there was like a security guard there and he was just like
you don't belong in here
and I was like yeah
and like walked away
water I have two of the ape
waters I like art like this.
Or like this.
Okay, that's the same picture.
It's the same picture as pants are just off.
There's so many bad ones that I'm not going to subject.
I like your fan edit that you sent me.
Oh, yeah.
I collected all of those
and then put it into a video editor
and then made a gif out of it
and sent it to Kai.
I think you can assume what happens.
He takes his pants off and jerks off?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Something is seriously wrong with you.
I'm sorry.
He's a baddie
um
well the other night
I
no this didn't happen no not one
not even one thing happened how about that
bye
get the fuck out of here leave now
now
now
hey y'all
this is true Now. Now. Hey, y'all.
This is true.
Fuck, that closet has been open the whole time.
Guys, watch this.
I'm going to be in the closet.
Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise!
Surprise!
Surprise!
Hello!
Well, the other night I was freaking the fuck out because, if y'all don't know, I still don't
have a car because I'm picky and I want a vintage
car, but I'm too lazy and I'm just a girl
and I don't trust myself to actually be able to maintain
a vintage car. And one of my friends in New York
has a really nice vintage car and, like the volvo and a bunch of us like got
a ride from him and i was standing outside of my friend's apartment with them and staring at the
car and i had i was having the craziest moment where i was looking at the car and i was like
bro cars are literally not real they are fucking gadgets no sense they are so weird and like i wish i was an animal to see the
way humans move because i think i would be freaked out because i was looking at that car and i was
like they literally made toy versions of this car that's how much it's not a real car like you can't
find a toy version of like a toyota camry from 2010 unless you can
and i just don't know but like older cars are such gadgets that they made toys out of them
like if cars were clear this is what we would look like wait why do my forearms look huge right now
they don't i guess i kind of do right here oh fuck that's like not impressive to me yeah uh no cars are actually horrifying
they're literally just death traps think about it the way they crumble bruh like are you fucking
serious why do we get in those but i love driving oh my god actually i was driving another friend's
fucking car recently uh to go meet up for coffee.
And I borrowed that friend's car and I parked it.
And it's like a nice vintage car.
So I park it and I'm walking and I like get past this guy.
So like, we're like this far apart.
Like we're like maybe like five feet apart.
I've already passed him.
And I just hear, and I was like, what?
And I turned, I was like, what?
And then he was like, that's, that's just a really cool car. And I was like what and i turned i was like what and then he was like
that's that's just a really cool car and i was like oh like thanks and then he got before i
could like say what i was gonna say which is like oh it's not mine i'm borrowing it he goes but you
probably just have a really cool life so oh and look down and then i like i'm not so bad i was
like that was like the most that's high rise ever and then i just like, that was like the most That's Kai Riz. ever and then I just like turned and I was like,
Oh, yeah.
Get in here and do that Riz.
That's so Kai Riz.
What was the Riz? Sorry, I was drinking.
Drinking what?
Alcohol.
Oh my God, bro.
It is literally noon.
What was the Riz?
Okay, so the scene is
you going to rehab and asking for help.
Yeah.
So I'm in rehab.
Kai, you literally do look good right now.
Really?
Yeah.
You actually do.
I'm not even kidding.
The Riz is I was borrowing my friend's vintage, like, nice car car I parked it and I walked past this dude who
was just like standing on the sidewalk smoking I got like five feet from him and then I just heard
and I was like what what happened and then he was like that's a really cool car and then before I
got to say like oh it's not my car he goes but you probably just have like a really cool life
and like look down and away from me and i was just like oh i was like
so kai coded i was like oh did it work though but did it no bitch because i was like it's not my car
it's my friend's car and then he goes oh hell yeah i was gonna say because like it's so nice
i was like yeah it's definitely like my dream is to have like a cool vintage car but sadly it's
not mine and they were like yeah yeah and then we just did then i was like
okay have a good day and then i just turned around and like walked away really fast because
i didn't want to have to keep talking to him um okay if i was a man in that situation i simply
would just not talk to the girl period can you i just want to see if our hands are the same size oh wow yeah they are like low-key the same size
i mind a little smaller that's kai's riz he's still doing that middle school shit like wait
how big are your hands i sent me something today and it was uh where my hug at son or look how
small my hands are daughter which one are you choosing um i'm son or look how small my hands are daughter. Which one are you choosing?
I'm still choosing look how small my hands are daughter because I feel like she can grow out of that.
I feel like if you're a where's my hug at son, you will be that for the rest of your life. Yeah, where's my hug at son literally in seventh grade realized that they were a loser very early on.
And the only way they were going to be able to touch boobs
is by getting hugs because your boobs when you hug us we can feel your boobs okay like i
it's fucking hot hey side hugs only babe for now on right right i get a boner every time I hug in you.
Guys, our last episode.
We don't even hug.
Yeah, we really don't.
I mean, we hug a few times.
Our last episode got 18 plus restricted.
Yeah, and this one probably is too because you're talking about jerking off to fucking up dad.
And y'all are sitting here like.
We're blurring that. Oh, wait, no. blurring that inside out yeah it's inside out but we're
blurring that we're blurring that um but okay so we need to hug twice a day we need to hug in the
morning and at night because didn't you see that thing that was like oh hugging makes you happier
y'all are jerking off to him that's my man i i see it that's like one of those like like ones that could work
dude no god damn no i could make that shit work why would you though because he's a sweet old man
what does that have to do with you having sex with him
everything everything so it doesn't
okay
hello my name is drew hello my name is drew
hello my name is drew i feel like i'm like in a like you know during covid when people who had
to go to like rehab and shit had to do their apology calls over Zoom.
That's what I feel like I'm witnessing.
And you're like still not there to apologize yet.
It just copied my laugh.
Hello, my name is Drew.
Dude, that doesn't sound like anything to us well I was at a karaoke bar with a bunch of friends and like we had been there all night
we were the only people in there and then this guy and girl came in together and like
they were like sweet I just assumed they were a couple immediately and the bartender was like oh
there's only room for two more songs.
So we're like, oh, we should give them the two songs.
But one of my friends was drunk and just like really trying to finish her song.
And I was like, bruh, stop fucking singing.
Give this couple their song.
Because then one of our friends had spoken to them and they were like, oh, yeah, he lives in Colorado.
He's going back tomorrow.
It's our last night together.
And I was like, oh, my God, this is so sad.
Like, give her the fucking song. Tell me why they got a song and he picked jolene and in that moment i was like oh
but they are not fucking dating like he was belting out jolene jolene he was hanging with
his fucking chest all of us were like oh my god this sweet couple and then he did jolene and then
she did innocence by avril lavigne and we were like bro they're the
gayest people i've ever seen in my life and then we spoke to them and they were like definitely
not dating and that just goes to show not to judge a book by its cover here that's my story
because a lot of people would see us and be like oh drew's gay she's scary um but no we're together
and i'm not i'm just saying hypothetically
i wouldn't care you literally are the nice person yeah i'm super nice and chill like um okay so
and yeah there's some i don't know what type of news this is.
It might be good or bad.
I'm curious to see the way you react to it, because I had a very mixed reaction.
The movie that we auditioned for that got canceled got made.
Really?
It's coming out soon.
Who else did you tell that to what who because you said this has gotten a
mixed reaction no no i meant internally like my oh wow i really will never forget us leaving that
oh this should have been like when was that was that like years ago yeah yeah it was like two three years ago
pandemi lavato yeah i didn't say that it's like pandemic pandemi pandemi lavato
demi lovato is pan you said why don't people say that yeah i ate i don't know
um well i think the movie just isn't going to be good because they didn't
cast us and i'm a fan they didn't even say anything to us about our tape so i'm gonna go
to the screening the premiere and take a bunch of fentanyl no we're gonna be like that madison
beer uh clip where she's like i was supposed to be in the music video that's us we're like i was
supposed to be in the movie like i was actually supposed to be in the movie i was actually
supposed to be there but i was yeah we were busy doing podcasts and college shows so we couldn't
like make it the thing with that clip like of madison beer saying oh i was supposed to be in
it like i believe her like she yeah i do too she was supposed to be in it. And this narrative has spread that she just made that up.
But no, Madison Beer is that girl and has always been that girl.
She was probably supposed to be.
Yeah, I 100% believe she was going to be in it.
But it's still one of the best things that ever happened.
The narrative that did spread made it 10 times better.
Like that.
It's like one of the funniest things ever,
thinking about someone just lying that they were going to be in an Ariana video.
That's mean.
Damn.
Time flies when you're talking to your girls.
Yeah.
Time flies when you're catching up.
Well, I can't stop thinking about the big hat.
I'm not kidding.
I love the big hat.
I can't stop thinking about it.
I'm going to get Elsie to send me this clip
because she sent me the clip from the day we bought the big hat and Kai you're in it because
we facetimed you to show you the big hat and I'm gonna ask for it so we can insert it I love the
big hat and I got myself a big hat like it's not a big hat but it is my big you have it do you want
to see it yeah you're gonna laugh you're the thing is you're gonna laugh at my big hat, but I think it's cute. No, is it like the Celine one?
It's like a big hat.
It is a big hat. Let me fucking see this shit.
Thank God it's just the boys.
Should we crack a beer open?
Yeah, I'll crack another one.
Sorry, I forgot.
I'm going to crap myself.
I'm going to crap my pants.
Really?
I just can't stop
crapping.
Can you pull your wiener out
just really quick?
Mom, yeah, we got to go.
Yeah, no, I'm leaving.
He can't even hear me.
Drew, Drew, please come back.
Y'all are gonna make fun of me.
I'm scared to show my big hat.
Wait, where's Drew? I said something and it like freaked him out so he left
oh what the fuck i don't even know what i i actually don't know what i said
i'm scared of y'all making fun of me yes i'm sorry yes what yes daddy there we go all right and you let's see your big hat i'm scared
y'all are gonna make fun of me bruh y'all are gonna make fun of my big hat if it's country i
won't but if it's not oh it's not big it's like cute it's like parisian like is it margiela it's
giving margiela kind of like deconstructed the thing is if i don't push
it down it's like really good okay that's big i have to like squish it down and like giving
like hook when you pull it up or it's by stephen jones who's like an
iconic i had to look it up before i bought it because i was like bitch i'm not about to spend
money on a hat that's like stupid but the designer is like an iconic designer who's helped like a lot
of brands make all their big funky hats so who knows maybe he helps make the big
hat that's made me happy oh yeah no this is cute it's like giving very uh like russian like fur hat
like it's not bad at all i wanted i wanted to make fun of it as you can tell like i wanted to hate it
i was scared i was gonna wear it the whole episode but that was like if i get on and they start making fun of my big fucking hat i'm gonna be so sad
no i would never make one of your big hat um well i was at dover street market and i saw
louisie vert and i felt like i was watching a cartoon character run around did you say hi
no because i'm terrified of him oh i can get her bad way no he was really nice like
he was like saying hi to everybody and then
it was actually so funny the employees were like bro he's been here three times this weekend
sometimes like he hasn't gotten anything but he just comes and runs around for a second
i was like that sounds like the most little thing i've ever heard i want his fucking brain chemistry
so bad i want i wantboy Cardi's brain chemistry.
I want Lil Uzi Vert's antics.
I want...
That's really all I need.
Drew, have you seen his car?
Who?
I feel like we were talking about this.
Lil Uzi Vert's car.
It's like a huge armored truck.
It's a what truck? It's like a big armored truck like have you guys played oh yeah yeah it's like the 300 it's like 300 000 yeah it's like a
yeah it's like a militia truck it's got like the m logo it's bulletproof yeah yeah and it has
it can like blow smoke and like gas out an area so it can escape and
shit it's literally an like a truck that they use in the army but you can drive it on streets
wait guys do i have aura like um you have like a pheromone based aura that like kind of is
disturbing like how some animals like send out a spray to scare
other people or like animals that's what you have yeah i spray shit out of my ass
no like if you saw me like would you say like oh like he's a vibe or would you kind of be scared
of me 100 you guys both have aura yeah i feel like k like we have aura. Kai, you have aura.
And yeah.
Do you agree?
Yeah, you have aura.
Oh, okay.
Wait, okay, guys.
I'm going to show you all how to read your own aura color.
I found out a new method, and it actually is very easy.
So grab your finger and hold it open like this.
Okay, keep, like like open it more.
And then slowly, so point it at the wall
and now slowly close it, but don't touch it
and look between the gap.
And then once you see white,
like once you see a white outline on your fingers
and it gets stronger and stronger, I forget what do oh you can whatever but you can see the it's blue white you got i i can tell
when you learn something on tiktok like i can just tell because it's not something you've done
before like you haven't done this in your own time. You just saw the video and like tried to remember it.
This one I've always done.
This is like I can, I literally can see my aura.
Didn't we go and get our auras read?
Why did we do that?
We got that picture where you put your hands on the pods
and then it takes pictures of you with the color all around you
and it's just fake.
Why did we do that?
Because the pictures were pretty they
were like printed polaroids i'm gonna go get that and then photoshop the colors to what my i want my
aura to be but the thing is in those pictures in here we were eating down like we both know the
fuck i was i looked like shit in that picture that's why that shit never got posted really i
look bad yeah i looked like non-good like they didn't they didn't give me a heads up
they didn't have the that uh camera at the right angle they shot kind of from below i look really
scary in that picture babe you like look the best to me when you think you look the worst what does
that say about you and what does that say about me that says that you're a fucking try hard and you're a liar um we have mold in our bathroom
bruh i'm not kidding in our bathroom i bet if we took the fucking bubbling out paint chip off the
wall we peeled it back and we look back there there would be mold growing i get sick every time i go in there every time i i already said this to drew but he gets sick when he goes
in the bathroom because he lays flat in his bed for 12 hours a day and he can't eat till nighttime
so he's lightheaded and undernourished and hasn't had water and then he finally gets up to go pee
after holding it for eight hours did i tell you about that did i tell you about that no what i told i okay this is t so
long story short i'll tell two things really quick and then we can wrap this episode up
but one thing so you know my reusable straws yeah well i like didn't have a straw with my wing stop.
So I grabbed my reusable straw and I shoved it into my Dr. Pepper.
Sucked up and it was globular and it was like puffy.
Like that's the only way I can describe it.
I spit it out into the sink.
Little straw and you had black mold growing in it.
And I just sucked it up up and you know what's
crazier it was it tastes like hella good so good bro and i spit it out and i like looked inside all
of our reusable straws and i held them up to the light black mold growing in every single one of
them so i went through and threw them all away because i was like i'm not i tried to clean them and it just was like stuck to the metal walls i was not having it you
know what that probably is it's from my smoothies that i've been having your smoothies your smoothies
um okay the other thing is the day before something big coming in about a month i'm sure you can infer what it was i did it
dolo like right when you left um well uh the morning of i woke up like hella hella early like
even early for like when i'm like normally up and like i started i didn't even realize how early it
was and i started doing my routine and um i like go to the bathroom the first thing
i do every morning is i take a big piss i drop a big pee load and do the toilet and i was so so
tired i was so tired that i sat down to pee this morning because like you know that's a fucking
vibe sometimes it's just like sitting and pissing in the dark like i don't want my eyes to burn like
it's a vibe like we can live like I'm a man and I sit and pee.
Why do you have to defend sitting and peeing?
Because as a man, you know.
Hey, it's okay.
I sit and pee too.
Oh, okay.
Kai?
I only sit and pee. I never went through a standing phase.
Yeah, it is just a phase.
It is more ergonomic.
It makes more sense. But anyways,
I sat down to pee
and like I'm
peeing and I don't notice anything and then I
start thinking and I'm like,
damn, this is like a big piss.
This is like going on for a very, very long time. And like I'm like damn this is like a big piss like this is like going on for a very
very long time and like I'm like now aware of it and I'm like whoa like I am peeing like a lot like
more than I have ever peed ever in my life like it went on for like three minutes like it was it was a long big pee like it was it was forever and I was like
whoa this is crazy and I like got up and started texting Josiah because I was like it's funny like
I was like I took a big piss like whatever and I stand up and I don't pull my pants up yet
and I immediately like have the worst like standing up too fast feeling I've ever had. And I stand up and I'm
like, Whoa, and I go to start like washing my hands and I'm out of it. And I start literally
losing consciousness. Like, you know, when your body is like vibrating and like your vision starts
stumbling, I started losing consciousness and I was aware enough to not fall forward. I literally,
and you took a step back from the counter,
collapsed back into the door
and rolled down on the wall with my pants around my ankle.
And I literally fell
and I was like braced like this on the ground.
And I was like, literally, I'm not kidding.
My chest started like twitching,
like my chest muscles,
like, you know, when people get-
Were you having like a mini stroke? Dude, I literally you know when people get having like a mini stroke
dude I literally think like when people get knocked unconscious like their bodies twitching
my whole chest was twitching and like I was fully caught like not fully aware but I was
like conscious during it and I like literally after it stopped and I started coming back to
I just started like diabolically laughing because like the scene in my head was like a camera
in the corner filming me and I literally did the Wendy Williams thing where I just like dropped in
my pants around my ankle and my bare ass was on the floor and I was like witching um and then I
was like really like contemplating going to the doctor or like going to the hospital um but i didn't
because i had obligations and i wasn't about to back out of them because like oh okay that makes
sense i was like what the fuck are you talking about like yeah the thing you did but um yeah i
literally collapsed on the floor of the bathroom and like started fucking genuinely tweaking it
was crazy well
i've been in good health recently so thank you for all your comments of people saying that may
god take away all my bad illnesses and give them to drew because i can feel it happening and i can
feel myself being healthy and good and fun and i can feel that drew's health is deteriorating
which i needed those wishes so thank you guys so much for that. Wow.
This is crazy.
Now, this is literally crazy that you would wish ill health on me.
Well, the thing is, between the two of us, if one of us is going to be sick, it might
as well be you because you like enjoy it because something's wrong with you.
And I just don't like it.
But all that is to say the same thing happened to Josiah.
I'm sure you all know the story.
He was at a
he was on tour he was laying on the floor of the van for a long time and he got up and went to pee
at the urinal inside of a gas station and he like pissed the most pissy ever piss in his life and
then walked out of the bathroom and fell into a chip rack and flung chips everywhere and lucas
was like oh this is like too far josiah like this isn't funny and josiah was just like literally fully unconscious on the ground and like he immediately
hit up his doctor or a doctor and was like yo like what just happened to me and they said it's a
vaso vasovagal episode so i self-diagnosed and i think that's what happened to me
but they're so common. They're normal.
They're normal.
You need to take the iPhone away from you.
Like you need your iPhone taken away from you so that if you're really about diagnosing
yourself, we need to see you go to a fucking public library and go start picking out books
and start to like diagnose yourself like that because it's too easy on your phone.
Well, look it up.
Well, I still need to faint like, but I i i need to faint in like a fun way like i need to
be getting crazy news and there to just so happen to be like a gorgeous bed with fluffy duvets and
pillows and stuff behind me and i like faint and i like fall like this like that's what i need
but i don't look very good when i'm sleeping so i can only assume that when i'm knocked out i'll be like a nasty mouth breathing like mess so maybe i don't need to so maybe i don't need to knock out
no standing up too fast i've decided is a blessing and i love it because it feels so good it's like
i get like high like three times a day no i think you need like iron and nutrients so that that stops okay well should we get into media media of the week
i haven't been singing drew and in yes me d uh uh drew and in his media media
well did you just make that up yeah that was actually really good thank you um
my media of the week is
oh i love it playboy Cardi Camila Cabello
Sorry Charlie
And then
Oh did I take it out of this fucking playlist
Oh hell no
I love Always On My Mind
Pet Shop Boys.
Oh, y'all.
I've been listening to so much Brazilian funk.
It's actually becoming my favorite genre of music of all time.
I love Brazilian funk music.
And our friend Violet made me a on soundcloud like a few years ago and
i revisited it y'all it's goaded goaded goaded goaded with us also numbness mac miller and lana
del rey uh deep cut it's on um on um soundcloud i've never heard that well mine is when i see scissors i can't help
but think of you by the dead texan oh louisiana by chuck berry which is a song that beyonce
sampled in one of the like interlude songs i want your love by chic i want your stupid love love uh love i
want your stupid um leaves that are green simon and garfunkel and sympathy for the devil the rolling stones the rolling stones oh and get it right by miley cyrus that song is
so fucking good like every year i have just a moment where i'm like you know what i need to do
i need to re-listen to bangers and i had that moment the other day and like there were my go-to
songs on bangers that i would always kind of go back to that were kind of just like more fun
nostalgia all that boy and around we go and away we go and away we go.
I'm a female devil.
Can't you tell?
So good.
Get it right, though.
You know what another good one is?
Yeah, smoke pot.
Yeah.
What is it? I don't care if i'm dead animals um but
yeah that miley song i have noticed you listening to it a lot more recently if you scroll down deep
on my ig i posted a picture of my playlist and it was all like mia and mileyiley Cyrus bangers and I thought I fucking ate and like honestly I did um and
that's the tea um but that's it and then I saw poor things oh you saw it finally
was it not a vibe or what you know what I think I had the same problem I have when I hear people
talking about a movie too much I really liked it but I had my gripes
about it which I won't get into but it was a good movie I liked the movie there were parts of it
where I was like okay a man did make this yes a man was trying to be a feminist I see I see
which whatever it was like a really good movie love the fantasy the weirdness of it
but you know there's something
to be said about men making feminism movies uh and the thing to be said is don't don't
don't play with it don't be honest but i need to start dressing like her in that movie i need my
hair to be that long thinking of of just getting extremely long extensions,
but because my hair is already like curly,
I think it'll be a nightmare and it's already hard.
Y'all, I just got a fucking email
and I've told this story a bunch
and someone from the story just emailed me saying that they uh um i'm not
gonna read the whole thing but it was foam and glow the rave concert in texas that i went to
like obliterated oh um i remember turning around while a blurt was being passed around and lo and
behold there you were baby faced with your little rave glasses on or with your little glasses on damn that's so fucking funny wait someone said walk a flock of
flame yeah wow walk a flock of flame was at the concert oh okay you you have such a problem where
you just say things because that was the curse oh my god someone said walk a flock of flame
yeah what's up he's acting like he has fucking friends or something at that fucking
house but she's all alone there's no one there yeah there's no one there you're fucking crazy
luna's awake and my mom was knocking on the door. Aw. Well.
April Fool's, just a regular ass day for me.
I've been lying.
I've stayed lying, y'all.
Oh, are you doing Drew Psyop?
Yeah, Drew Psyop.
I'm reading emails.
That one was from, who was this from?
Sydney.
This is from Amari. Horny blind people gotta have crazy imagination
i'll give one
smoking fucking weed and listening to fucking music
show the picture the way this made me laugh dom showed it to me at a dinner
and i laughed so hard
at that because remember last week when i was like my fucking discover weekly was so fucking good and
i couldn't believe it it's literally because i was i just smoked and i was listening to fucking music
so smoking fucking weed and listening to fucking music is a fucking vibe
if i seemed low energy this episode it's because i don't have my bitches
around me like wait what is that i said if i seemed low energy it's because i don't have my
bitches with me oh i thought you said flow energy no okay we need to have violet on the podcast also
yes that would be such a fucking vibe.
Okay.
Why tornadoes?
Why don't tornadoes ever hit banks?
Blow some money out that motherfucker.
Y'all, when I was flying in,
a tornado, a supercell that hit my hometown produced a tornado the town over.
So I almost got to live out my tornado fantasy,
but I was a little late um i'm so glad the music at the club is loud as fuck because i'd be farting in there
this is like me and yen kai together meeting for the first time i kind of like people who
trauma dump i don't know i don't care if i just met you 30 minutes ago tell me why your mom lost custody of you i'm curious that's literally my vibe like it is rare that a
trauma dump bothers the fuck out of me i'm like this is tea yeah like your life is my tea it's
like i love it cup up um those were from amy let's just search the email one last time and see what happens.
I'm a female rebel, can't you tell? fuck if you dookie with your coat on dookie sleeves
Ash says
girl shut the fuck up about zodiac signs
how about you
zock this diack
was that a zock doc read
yeah that was a zock doc ad was that a ZocDoc read?
yeah that was a ZocDoc ad
life is simpler when
you're nonchalant soon as you start
chalanting shit
it's okay
we had like two bangers
yeah we had a couple of them
but shout out Ash
alright peace out y'all Bye.