Emergency Intercom - Drew got a new job

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

Drew no longer needs to do the podcast anymore due to a new source of income, Enya discusses her hatred for sh*tty music then drew pulls his b*tt out on camera This episode is sponsored by Better Help Visit https://BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. so we're really late on this episode i was almost gonna not do an episode this week welcome to emergency intercom late so i'm stuck saying i'm stuck staring at kai what's up guys i don't like wait one second one second drew can you like hold on shut up i'm taking an order damn one second

hi welcome to mcdonald's what can i get for you big and greedy you want a big mac and a 10 piece nugget is this just for you or your family what what are you doing i thought you were in Texas. Oh, you actually want to fight. You actually want to fucking fight right now. Hold on. Let me mute them. This bitch is being such a fucking bitch, bro. She's being such a bitch, bro.

Oh, you heard that? You heard that? I don't give a fuck if you heard that. Pull up, hoe. Pull up. I'm dead serious. Don't fight. Don't fight.

Please don't fight. Please don't fight. Why are you there? Where are you? Oh my you oh my fucking god where is he i think he went to fight the patron dude what the fuck i thought you went back to texas y'all i just got my fucking ass beat i fucking hate this job bitch i fucking hate this fucking job what did you get your ass beat by a ghost what the fuck just happened hello are you frozen all right we're back damn i look big and strong right now yeah i got a job at mcdonald's

that's what i do when i come back to texas dude i thought you went back to texas to see your family why do you have a job why did you get like a job at mcdonald's i need to subsidize my income um when i'm here i'm not really working so i just am addicted to the grind you know i just like getting money i like getting that bag i like getting that bag. I like getting that bread. Why are you? Oh, are you packing orders right now? Honestly, I'm pretty impressed by like your multitasking skills. Like, that's honestly pretty impressive.

Yeah. Well, in like three days I've been here, I actually worked up to manager. So I kind of make my own schedule and i can do whatever i want um someone quick today really quick do you think that like do you think like your place on the internet gave you like more opportunity for that because i'm just unsure why they would like promote you yeah and also like everyone here is like addicted to meth um so oh and yeah so i was just like i told them i'm the leader and they were like oh you are the leader and i just have that natural charisma you know it like both of y'all know what i'm

talking about your kitchen looks like are you putting anyone on the schedule though because your kitchen looks like dead empty i got the tile floor everything uh yeah no i'm the only one here right now actually that's why it's like kind of hectic well how are you gonna do the podcast and like fulfill orders wait what can you hear me sorry one second one second i have to mute the um mute the beeping because it actually if y'all don't know that shit gets on my nerves bro it's like actually so loud

well if you mute it then how are you gonna know that like things are what the fuck are those beeps actually like does anybody at mcdonald's like no like what are those beats for other than like ambient noise someone please tell us i think it's like probably oh yeah also yes my skin is giving today it's not grease it's just i'm a natural glowy dewy look like i love myself every time we do the podcast on zoom you have to say something about your skin like you have to make your own comment about the way you look well if i'm insecure about something and i attack it first it gives me yeah ammo yeah i control the narrative and i'm like yeah i see it before you so it's like not me you know what i'm saying yeah i'm always making self-deprecating jokes about my uh

my huge dick oh sorry sorry were you gonna say that sorry you're not doing anything you're literally faking like you got busy no i'm taking notes i yeah okay do people who work remote do that do you think like they'll be on the computer like i'm looking that up right now and they're just like faking it yeah but not doing anything or do you think they're actually working on the computer also stop bringing your laptop to a cafe that's my new take is i think laptops should be banned from cafes because why are you taking up a whole fucking day also stop doing your zoom calls in cafes like outside i was outside of a cafe in la and this dude gets on he goes hey oh no it's so good to see you all like loud as fuck in this

cafe and everybody was just also we're all behind your meeting like we're there oh did you move positions yeah i went to my office your office kind of just looks like right behind the counter yeah it is i mean baby i love this work i this job. I love the line of duty. I am an essential worker. I give to the community and I feed everyone. So we're actually like in the southern United States. We actually have the most foot traffic of any. That's crazy because you're in Granbury. So there's what what like 30 people there yeah it's it's a lot all 30 of those people eat 36,000 times a day I was saying today on the way home because the McDonald's by my house was fucking packed and it was

literally 12 on the dot I was like damn I can't believe some people make the cognitive decision to like eat McDonald's as one of their first meals of the day. And then I remembered I live with Drew. And that is. Why are you wearing that wig?

It's not a wig. Sorry, I was fixing my hair. It's actually a toupee. He just had to shave the top of it. So the rest of it is his hair. I got a wig installed. Actually, don't fucking call my hair a wig bitch it's a toupee get that shit straight like don't fuck with me like i'm not

even it's fucking different wigs are for girls toupees are for men other than your job juror has texas been i worked on my dad's job for a little bit today luna's the sweetest baby ever my mom has my grandma has cancer. I explored the ocean a little bit. It's been pretty chill. OK, wait, because. You can say the thing about your grandma. I mean, like those are just a few of the good things that have happened. No, my grandma's fine.

She's lovely. I love her. She's a great woman. I went and saw her for the first time in a while. And yeah, she's great. She was happy to see the baby. She's really happy to see the baby. All of the people in the rehabilitation place, when they see a child enter that building, like their instincts kick in and they all want to hold it and touch it and look at it and play with it and shit so it's just really cute seeing like all the old elderly people like want to take care of a baby yeah it couldn't be me though i just like don't fall under that like weird like matriarchal like yeah whole like thing like i just i'm different like i see a baby and i'm like i want to fucking hit it yeah you know what i realize is the sexual revolution it actually didn't fail

because they've always had um prostitutes true when do you think the first time someone got paid for sex was? Dude, okay. Probably like the year, like, 100. Yeah, Adam and Eve paid Eve to have sex with an apple. As soon as there was a way to have money, I feel like, the next day, they were like, all right, how do I earn this money? Yeah. Yeah, because, but do you think by then people were, like, that horny and couldn't fuck? Like, there was literally nothing else going on, so I would assume for a long time people were just fucking for like oh fuck it like you're ugly as fuck but

i'll fuck like there's literally nothing to do i think women like are genuinely i actually believe this are more like cunning than men and they like understand quicker than men uh yeah per per per so they early on realized that like oh i could make money off of this and fuck with the man brain but that's really the only good thing women have ever done um is like sell their bodies that's the only good thing they've ever done oh my god what the hell dude like we've done good things too we have good other businesses like A lot of women have Etsy shops. Hello? Pregnancy.

A lot of people, women, get pregnant. Dude, this is... As a woman, you either do OnlyFans or you have an Etsy shop. You're one or the other. Those are the two choices. I've seen a few girl bosses. What is a boy boss? Is it just a boy or just a boss

we need to fix that it's just so true we need to fix that are you gonna start implementing that change though are you just gonna say there needs to be a change with no action oh wow call me call me a boy boss call me a boys drew since you're like an expert on uh female sexuality do you know how prostitutes like didn't get pregnant in like medieval times and shit um not enough sugar in the diet oh okay i've like genuinely i've genuinely been wondering like how the fuck do you not get pregnant i okay first day of being a prostitute that's because you start wrestling with your home girls playing in the mud of it you just start fucking mud wrestling yeah i feel like it might have just

been harder to get pregnant back then like now we have just so much technology but actually we haven't changed anything i don't know um but that's a good segue because we've all seen it we've all seen each other's partners asking how much they think about the roman empire blah blah blah blah blah um i'm 100 positive 98 of the men are lying however i fall in that two percent i do think about the roman empire fairly often kai how about you how much do you think about the roman empire probably like every other day yeah okay and and yeah how much do you think is that a real answer though or are you just saying that no i honestly my real answer is like once every every 10 days i think about it yeah because

i think about like how the united states is like a collapsing empire and i'm like oh what is it like to live in a collapsing empire like what i wonder if they saw the signs you know like their currency was being inflated i don't know yeah no i'm i'm on the same wavelength i think about it like once every like hour probably oh okay wait is it good to think about it more yeah for me yeah i mean i believe so but it like it just sounds like once every like day is good and anything more than that is like really low but what are you gonna say in here i was gonna say it just sounds like kai's trying to change his answer because he wants to know if it's going to make him seem smart like no no but is it good to think about i think yeah i mean i even go as far as like every minute i'm

thinking okay okay because i do think about it every day i just think about it at first i said every 10 days because i was like literally thinking about the roman empire but i feel like just thinking about empires in general it's kind of like goes hand in hand i'm constantly thinking about like power being passed down from generations you know generational wait is roman empire um code word for your mama's coochie because if that is the case then yes i am thinking about it all the time and if kai is thinking about it every hour that's kind of weird actually i'm not that's what i'm saying he has an obsession i just think about it like before I go to sleep because I'm like I wish I had some. That's actually really, really

interesting Kai that you would think about your mom's bajani every like hour. I'm not thinking about that. Calling all sellers. Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here innovation isn't a buzzword.

It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Okay. Well, anyways,

let's move on. So I prepared a quiz for Enya to see how much she knows. We have to give context. Like, it's so annoying because I, from the beginning of the podcast, have said that I have emotional intelligence, no academic intelligence

and then when i show that people are like damn she is fucking stupid it's like no i'm not stupid sorry my light keeps turning off because i'm literally in prison right now hey hey don't let these evil people dim your light wow don't let them um huh don't let them okay did you make that up or she's quite literally yes yeah well i don't know anything about the roman empire i wish i remember exactly how our conversation about it went you're like because i just didn't know what it was I was like what like yeah I don't I don't either I just know like uh I was like I know a lot about it I don't think about it like super super frequently frequently but I do like have knowledge on it that I just retained from like school and just other fucking like video essays and shit and then you were like i literally know nothing about it and like i asked you like where the roman empire even was and like you were like i literally said greece yeah and you said

greece so i mean which is girl they were at mykonos they were at turks and cacos that's where they had it yeah yeah um okay they flew. What's Drake's airline? OVO. Like Air Drake. They flew Air Drake to the Mykonos. And the Roman Empire collapsing was like a group of homegirls who went to Miami. And one of them wasn't splitting the bill every night. So then they like broke apart as a friend group when they went back to where they were living. And that to me is like, that would be the equivalent explanation of

the roman empire collapsing wait kai have you ever flown drake airways uh yeah right no i flew it when it was still called backshots air no you haven't i was just asking because me and nina were just on it that's how we got to texas and yeah also like everybody knows that once you have sex with drake like you've already signed an nda and like you can't even say that so yeah he like bought me a house are you serious but you guys are talking about it well he didn't say why he bought him a house that's just our friend and he bought him a house why do you have to assume he did something like you you're just nasty and you give up your body for no return i got i got like tickets to a show they were ga oh the free thing he gives out no drink is actually evil like the more i think about it he's actually a wicked wicked person like i'm like he's like a

super villain and shit like actually um but anyways let's get into the roman empire quiz um okay i'm gonna give you multiple choice and then you have to pick from the multiple choice okay who founded rome romulus ulysses s grant thor artemis girl none of those are real names they're all real say them again romulus ulysses s grant thor and artemis is it the second one no it's romulus okay who the fuck knows that swear i fucking know that bitch i don't fucking know who is commonly regarded as the last though illegitimate western roman emperor georgian augusta amor sacratico octavia cortez or romulus augustulus the last name is not a real name like you can't tell me that last one was a real name well which one is it bitch i don't know a b georgina gusta is a name

i made up um amor sacro tico is like gay in um italian whatever and then octavia cortez is aoc and the one you thought i made up romulus augustalis is the real one okay that's not a real name that's like not they were just like making noises i mean yeah every everyone's just making noises if you think about it okay which roman emperor self-adopted a title that means Restorer of Worlds? Barnabas Collins, Yao Ming. No, bitch. No, Barnabas.

Aurelian or Giannis Antetokounmpo? I can't tell where the option starts and ends. Okay, Barnabas Collins, A. B, Yao Ming. C, Aurelian. and ends like okay barnabas collins a b yaoming c arulian d janice antetokounmpo bitch i'm gonna say c you're right hey celebrate all right janice antetokounmpo is a really good basketball player yaoming is a really good basketball player and Barnabas Collins I literally don't know who that is but my dad said to put it down

so I did which ancient Roman city was destroyed after the eruption of Mount Vesuvius bitch Pompeii whatever the fuck like don't play with me I gave him the easy one well also do you want me to go on my little I only even know about Pompeii because of that picture of the statue with her ass up.

So I looked it up. I was going to bring that up in my shit. That's fucked up. I literally didn't know that. I didn't know that Pompeii was real. I thought that was a mythical thing that someone made up. Whatever the fuck. And then I saw the picture of the statue and then i think i said it to you this was also last year mind you i didn't know that shit was real i have it written oh you can't

see because the green screen but i have it written down pompeii if it happened today meme because i'm about to go on a crazy pompeii rant um but pompeii freaks me the fuck out because like it was 2000 years ago but it was like hella fucking civilized like you can see how they lived very very clearly without like much erosion because like it was so like frozen in time because of the like blast um whatever the ash that like laid upon it and like it was so civilized that like there were like people who had like second like stories that they would rent out to people and people would live up there they had like restaurants attached to their house so they would like live inside the house and walk outside and prepare food for these restaurants and they had like fast food places and

shit like it was like actually hella advanced and they had like fast food places and shit like it was like actually hella advanced and there was like actually one restaurant which was considered like the nicer restaurant of pompeii um that would serve like delicacies and like rare meats for italy at the time and they were like in the eruption like one of the pieces that of meat that were frozen was drew phillips's giant fucking penis wing and they would eat on that shit all the time wait if that's what they eat then what do you use to have sex and stuff um we don't we can move on um but no actually it was uh they would eat giraffe like they found giraffe meat and bones in pompeii where they're like not native

so they were like bringing giraffes over and feeding them to people in sea urchin which like isn't that crazy um wait did they have toilets and shit i i couldn't figure out if they had toilets i think they shit in buckets and then poured it into the middle of the street because they had like these canals like between sidewalks and then they had like bridges over them and like they had bridges so people could cross the street without walking in like shitty like dysentery infected water and shit um but that is literally so fucking nasty to not have a toilet like i would be pissed yeah like if i woke up tomorrow and i was like in the middle of fucking france in like 18 who knows what the

fuck and it just smelled like shit and fucking doo-doo like it all smelled like shit how did we not die like what like how do you not like die from that bacteria like age life expectancy expectancy was like 28 or something yeah dude we were hella like i was an old man back then, low key, like like six and seven year olds were like rulers of kingdoms. Like it was it was really insane back then. But this is also crazy. So, you know, like the statues of the people that were like killed by the blast, like that were frozen by the ash like there is a literal picture of a dude frozen in time beating his meat because he wanted to like climax right before um the that can't be real yeah it's real look up the picture i'm not even fucking playing

why don't you send it to me okay i literally will guy jerking oh shit it is um two thousand year old masturbating pump okay yeah that can't be real okay we can put this in right yeah yeah a hundred percent i feel like it's he's desecrated enough yeah like he's 2,000 years old if I'm not if my video footage of me beating off isn't like blasted by the time that's me with the rose yeah that's his rose toy will like to rain on you they need to start on the bachelor instead of giving like actual roses they need to start giving those roses out rose toy level three that shit hurts let me tell you on a stick yep um but actually to ruin the vibe he when he died his muscles like were heated up and melted in a way that like made him like jerk and like move his body and contort his body into a position he wasn't in

so like he wasn't actually jerking off it just looks like it um but yeah that would also be such a crazy response to a volcano explosion it's like that one joke where it's like um like uh my teacher said like teacher be like oh the boat is 15 feet long me in the back of the class feet and starts like jerking off yeah um but also through his impression of jerking off it's crazy you're literally at work like i can't believe you're doing that in the workplace why you had to bring that shit up i forgot i was at work bro like you brought me back into the fucking grips of capitalism immediately bro like i'm just letting you know so you don't get fired this shit is actually rough this shit is actually well i can't believe that there's people wait wait wait no no i have i have a few more pompeii facts that i really have to say i really have to say

them i swear to god i swear to god i swear and then we'll get into the music shit um but the brothels in pompeii were like fucking lit y'all like they were crazy so basically yes basically oh wait the guy jerking off was literally kai by the way that's like how i imagine kai would die in pompeii but you would walk through this town and you'd see like giant penis statues everywhere pointing in this specific direction and so like in the ground you'd see like rock penises and on the wall you'd see like penises like pointing in a direction and they would all lead you to these brothels and when you got into the brothel you'd like get into this room with like a bunch of so like

imagine like a square room and then like on the side there's like a bunch of offshoot rooms with like just a single doorway and you look up and you see like the most beautiful fresco paintings you've ever seen in your life like true like roman empire like paintings like on the wall just like gorgeous like they don't make them like they used to above each of the doorways and it would be like different sex positions and you would choose it was like a menu and you would look up and you would choose like which position you want to hit it from and like for me like i get back shots i love but you can only pick one position yeah yeah yeah so you pick a position and then the girl would be waiting in there like ready to get back shots like it was crazy and she had all the stuff recently i was getting something

like that printed for our house so since there's a long hallway to you and josh's room so that our guests walking down to you and josh's room could pick one and they usually give me money and i'm like just go in there and do it well is that why that kept that shit kept happening yes and you let it like i mean you were down so yeah i was down i thought i was just getting natural play but like no no they were paying me to hit but since you're like just open for the public it's just like it didn't make a difference for you well now, now we can insert the Pompeii if it happened today meme. But yeah, then it made me start freaking out because all of the houses around us right now are made of like plastic and cardboard and like paper

and like it's going to be melted to the elements and everything that's on earth right now will be Kai has flies in his room I know bro dirty ass room I hate moths so much it's cause his room is hella humid my room is not humid

it's a normal he rubbed it on his pants no I didn't yes you did we watched you no I rubbed it on something else. Continue, Drew? He did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Our houses now are made of plastic and cardboard and are just going to melt to the elements and everything we live in now will never exist again. Oh, wow. What happened? Why did she leave? I'm bored.

Oh, so I'm fucking boring bro i talked for five minutes talking about the roman empire and pompeii how many times oh this is a good this is a good fact and this is the last one genuinely how many times was caesar stabbed 23 31 21 or 57 57 i'm gonna say 57 because i'm assuming someone was pissed no it was 23 but listen to this you'll love this in you the song ides of march is literally because it the saying ides of march was because Brute stabbed Caesar 23 times. And so the Ides of March song that we really like is based off of Et tu Brute, Caesar getting stabbed. Wait, really? I thought it was Agua de Marx.

No, it's Ides of March. I'm pretty sure. Unless I just like literally made all that shit up. No, it's yeah, it's Agua de Marx. Wait, no, no, no. Waters of March. Oh, damn. Yeah, never mind.

You know all this and that about some stuff that doesn't even apply to today's life, and that's why you're a fucking bum. Sorry, I was trying to make history interesting to you you made history sexy no it's fucking boring like i literally just don't give a fuck like it has nothing to do with me it literally has nothing to do with me like what like if i swear me knowing about the roman empire bitch if shit collapses now we're all gonna be scared and confused anyway so me knowing about the roman empire what i'm gonna know where to hide like what am i gonna

learn no no it's just to pass the time if society collapsed i would just fucking kill myself and that's what they should have done the second that fucking volcano erupted bitch i would have killed myself like what sorry there's like you're gonna die anyway room crawling around on the floor it's actually like hella scary what there's something in the mcdonald's walking around yes it's like what is it a rodent okay what were you saying about music though oh i Oh, I was just going to say that it's crazy how, like, so for me, I understand that, like, music is a spectrum, especially on a consumer level.

I haven't been feeling as good being in Miami, and I'm like, what's missing? What's missing? And it's because I don't have any gay people around me, so I don't have Drew around me. How fast you went like this, you're like... Bro, straight bro like um what's funny is i thought about that joke before i got on here and then i was like i'm gonna stop because like i make way too many gay jokes and it's not fucking funny um but i had to oh we have to insert the gay police fuck it i'm gonna call the gay police we got gay police cars in miami right now oh which is like

i don't know if i like that combination like why are you doing that no it does feel a little off have you seen the office police cars no uh they got puzzle pieces all over the police cars i was cracking up because while i was like taking that video of the cop car another cop car passed right after i was like fuck i wish i got the other cop car because i wanted to be like okay so do i call gay police or normal police which one um but most header what are we gonna say keep going oh i was just gonna say that i've been really scared of my tiktok timeline recently because i fucked up. And there've been people who are like sponsoring their really bad music on TikTok.

And I keep saving it or sending it to friends because I think it's funny. But now all of my ads on TikTok are really bad music, like really bad music. And then it was freaking me out because I'm like, damn, dude, music can make you feel so fucking good or it can make you feel the way this shit makes me feel which is so weird and it feels like oh my god music is literally like it taps into such an intense like sense of like the human mind because like we all know like smell is one of the like most like prominent senses like

it's the most i think it's the sense that i'm around you that's for what the fuck did you just say you stink bitch you fucking reek most heterosexual men most heterosexual men are attracted to men that makes sense hi queen yeah no it's like men just are like oh like i want a girl who i can sit with and drink a beer and watch the sports game with i want like a girl who will go to the bar with me and like let me talk to girls and shit like no you want a man you want to date a man and men are like men are the most obsessed with like the way other men look like men are literally taught to look at other men and be like, that's what you should be.

Bitch, and if you look at something long enough, you're going to be like, hmm. Like, you get big and strong. No, that's what I should be in. Yep. No, men get big and strong only for other men to, like, hit on them. No, literally. And I'm like, okay, you're attracted to men. It's okay.

It was me okay it was me can you not hear it a little bit barely okay so this is my take on stuff like this because i'm like it's like hoop dreams like i'm like glad that you have like a dream to like pursue something and like i'm glad you're creating and like i really am like like yes like do your thing but like don't shove it down my fucking throat like that ass like keep that shit to yourself like that would be the first time you've ever said that about something um are you oh he's he's gonna come back he's just clocking out of work

he'll come back no i think you offended him what i i didn't even say anything i feel like that might have been too far because he hasn't come back he looked really hurt i'm just saying he looked really hurt that's not my fault though if the things i say offend you like just like ignore it and keep it pushing that's how it should be right yeah no i think that's fair oh no i'm wrong i'm wrong oh my god drew your camera's on we can see your ass we can see your area area fuck is this live yeah well it's not we're not live we're never alive yo we need to cut that for real bro yeah you looked caked the fuck up did i actually yeah that shit looked good yeah yeah okay okay thank you guys what is going on with this mouse what is going on but yeah that's

just been freaking me out because i'm like damn music really does tap into your brain chemistry and do does something to you because when i hear a sad song it actually makes me sad like vice versa happy songs make you happy but we all know that but hearing bad music makes me feel like i'm going to kill somebody have like it literally feels like have you it's literally like a like a government operation like it feels like someone's trying to hack into my brain like someone's trying to get back there they're trying to find something that they shouldn't know like that's what bad music feels like to me. Like, and that's why they play bad music in Forever 21 and H&M and all those fucking stores.

Because they want you to go in there, lose yourself. You lose connection to who you are. And then you're just picking stuff up to buy it because they're trying to get into your brain. Yeah. Fuck, what was I going to say? Damn it. Oh my fuck oh it have you ever read my letterboxd movie review for um that like movie about the girl in school

but basically like i wrote like a review about um this movie that was like so fucking bad. Like, you know me, like fangirl is what it's called. It's actually about a girl who's a fan. But anyways, I like watched this movie. Like I watched bad movies all the time for fun. Like I literally love a bad movie as much as a good movie. Like literally they're so funny. They're like just as much fun as like watching a good movie,

action movie or comedy, whatever. That's how this movie made me feel. And I felt like I was literally going through opium withdrawals. My body was fully restless. My skin was crawling. I started sweating and getting nauseous. And then I had really gnarly diarrhea. But I'm not even fucking kidding.

It literally is like a psychological operation bro like it literally that's what i'm saying like the creators of like horror movies need to get together with people who just make incredibly bad movies but the people who make the worst movies are the people who are the most passionate about it like does that make sense because there's some bad movies where it's like the middle ground like harm hallmark ass movie where it's like whatever it's but the best worst movies ever is somebody who for some reason has a little bit of a budget but doesn't know how to spend it and is extremely passionate like too passionate and they already feel like in their mind they're like i have the mind of a mastermind and nobody wants to put me on and I'm going to put myself on.

I was going to say it honestly feels like that might be why I like certain bad movies a lot, because like literally I say it all the like if someone's giving like a good, good actual effort and something to create something like I will tune in and I will give it a fucking chance. And even if it's fucking terrible, like, I can feel your passion in this. And I can feel that like you really do mean well, and you're trying to make something good. And I think that might be why that might, that might be the reason why i like bad movies partially that's how i felt about the barbie movie like it's just like i never saw it i can feel your passion but i just like don't fuck with your vibe that's my new saying is i can feel your passion but i just don't fuck with your vibe damn did you really not see barbie true no it's a personality trait for me now.

It's like I've never seen Harry Potter. I really wanted that to be my vibe because that's how I am with Harry Potter and stuff. I'm like, never seen it, never will. Twilight, never seen it, never will. Wait, you haven't seen Twilight? No, I wasn't allowed to watch it. My parents thought it was fucking brujería. They were like, no, that shit's evil.. They were like, no, that shit's evil.

They literally were like, no, that shit's evil. There's sex, weird demons. No. So I wasn't allowed to watch Twilight. Miss Abuelita es brujería. Miss Grandma is witchery. Bruja. Abuelita. Pero esery bruja abuelita pero un bruja

pero un bruja my parents used to call me bruja oh wow this is crazy are people still passing notes in school like are kids still passing notes in school or do they just have their iPhones?

They all have They have Neuralink now They literally just like transcode it through like a Neuralink implant I guess also like the fun in us passing notes in school was because we didn't have any technology

What the fuck was that nothing oh hi what were you reaching for could you get that moth off your wall or a sticky note or whatever you're reaching for it wasn't a sticky note it was um it was the mark where the moth was left on my wall. I like smashed it against the wall and I've just been looking at it. Well, my bills have been affected because my lights keep going on and off. The bills has literally been affected. Why do you want me to reach over the camera? Bro, because he wants to smell you. He's trying to smell you through the fucking screen because he's nasty.

Y'all make everything fucking weird, bro. You don't think it's weird that your friend reached his arm up and you went to go smell his pits i'm not even fucking there bro all right i think i got it ew ew dude for some reason this feels so like gross but you remember those uh those tiktoks of like the hot guys on tiktok that would like be in a car and they would like be gripping the head of the like the car do you know what i'm talking about guy this might be your tiktok i know because i've never seen no there's like always guys no i know you're talking about you know what i'm talking about though like they're always on no i know you're talking about you know what i'm talking about though like they're always on live too yeah they'd be like you know like a white thing is okay

what's crazy is y'all know about this but i've never seen this girl it's the uh dilemma we were just talking about most heterosexual men are attracted to men you know what's crazy is that like i feel like tiktok's just been dick prints for like a year now like you know isn't it annoying to just always go on tiktok it's just only dick prints dude it's crazy because mine is only pussy prints it's only like girls like with huge camel toes it's so weird like why it's mostly for me like getting that money and shit you just have the like 14 year old uh stock trader and dropshipper fucking sneeko aiden ross and stock trading that's been my vibe lately wow that's weird is that just like your texas vibe or are you gonna bring that vibe back to la

uh it's just my like when i'm working at mcdonald's vibe i might open a franchise up out in la though i've been thinking about it i think i need to open one like in the big bear lake like put a parking lot in there yeah yeah it needs a parking lot yeah yeah it needs like a wal's like a Walmart slash McDonald's. So it needs to be the Walmart with the McDonald's in it. How often do you get in fights at the office? Every day. I have to beat a bitch down every fucking day.

I'll pull anybody's hair. Like, I don't give a fuck. Dog. I'll rip that fucking tail off. Bitch, I had to beat up a dog. It really seems like you work alone i haven't seen any other employees i know it kind of seems like you just broke into a mcdonald's and you're just hanging out i cut my fucking finger open cutting um i made a bunch of rice crispy treats the other day

um and last night it looks good you can see that. And last night. Oh, yeah, that looks good. You can see that, right? And last night, I, like, was, it was, like, 10.30, and I had just gotten Sonic, Corn Dogs, if you know, you know, the shit's cake. Dude, you eat, you eat, like. Box, yeah. Yeah, pussy.

So if that's nasty, you're just a hater of women uh huh no I eat terribly I know it's really bad it's really actually a problem it just constantly shocks me I was talking to someone the other day and I was like if I didn't live with Drew I genuinely do not think I would eat fast food

but living with you it's just like okay i could have a real meal or me and my friend can order mcdonald's for the eighth time in a row but i put you the fuck on to this lifestyle you think you put me on the mcdonald's when i met drew i feel like i only saw you eat spherical foods for the first like three months. You did make fun of me for that. It was just like a brown sphere, a red sphere with like yellow. That was my healthy arc. Oh, yeah. That was you.

You caught me in my healthy arc. The fried nacho cheese with hot Cheetos. Classic. Classic. Whatever the fuck that was. Literally classic. What was I saying, though? Oh, I was eating.

I made, like, literally three trays of Rice Krispie Treats, and I, like, freaked it. I did, like, Fruity Pebbles in one. I did Rice Krispie Treats in another, and then I did Reese's Puffs in another, and it was, like, the Reese's Puffs were so fucking good. Are you okay? I didn't say shit oh

I did have a schizophrenic break like a week ago I texted Enya about it or called her about it um I know yeah you called me and told me and I was like okay cool you should go see a psychiatrist I booked an appointment because of it you guys can't hear my I need to go really bad too like the sound

because my roommate makes like Jersey Club music. And it's just been like that kick the entire time. I just don't know if you've heard it. In the frat house. Yeah. Jersey Club remix. Yeah, guys, I have 12 roommates, by the way. Guys in the trenches.

But I was cutting the Rice Krispie Treats last night. It was like the last night I was going to eat them because they were going to go bad. And I grabbed the knife and I put it down and it wasn't cutting through the Reese's pieces. I was like, damn, these bitches got stale already. What the fuck? And so I pushed down on it harder and I realized I had the knife upside down and I was cutting through my fucking finger. And I just cut through the tip of my finger. Oh, you can kind of see it.

No. Yeah, you can. Yeah. But yeah, I gashed my finger open. I probably need stitches, bro. It keeps bleeding. That's embarrassing. You should get a bigger cut and then go for the other cut and then be like, oh, while

you're at it, this because if you go for stitches for just that, it's going to be really demasculating and like embarrassing. And you might as well just thug it out and get an infection because that i do i do need to suture up my pee hole because it's just so big because it's loose because you let bitches stick their finger in it i love sounding i'm into sounding yeah that's my vibe y'all ever seen sounding videos no we haven't no and i don't even want to talk about the fork right that like aligns your frequencies no that is sounding but sounding is when they stick like a tube like a glass tube or a metal rod oh right yeah yeah that sounds like it would feel good that's fucking nasty and that just makes me think about the fact that like i'm sorry but i have an

inherent belief that if you're somebody who's like getting too fucking freaky in the bedroom bitch you're a freak like you are weird as fuck to me and not even on some slut shaming shit i'm literally like can you like go into joanne's fabrics and find a different hobby like why is sex your hobby like all right that's just something humans do naturally like why are you making it like your whole lifestyle you're just like yeah and here's my sex room your sex room bitch have you ever like gone to the beach and enjoyed the sun like what are you doing i agree with that once people bust out the sex swing i'm like why just you just have to have sex on a bed you can do like yeah like positions on a bed you

don't need a swing yeah it's it's a different thing for me though like i think y'all are two virgins that don't get play and when i bring out like my sex toys and my fucking swing bed and um my dragon egg laying dildo y'all like want to have problems with it but like imagining drew doing like cirque du soleil with a girl yes oh of course yeah of course why do you why do you even need to say that like we knew that i just i don't know i feel like just to be clear in case anyone was wondering what the fuck are you playing with? Why would anybody be wondering? It's a zip tie.

Why would anybody be wondering? Is that one of your toys? It's one of my fidgets, yeah. Is it a sounding tool? And you're putting it in your mouth? Yeah. Okay, so I'm at that age now 17 about to be 18 where I can look back on my childhood and realize that it wasn't so bad I was just an angsty teenager and

I made it bad and I remembered um this thing that me and my family used to do or specifically me and my mom and my sisters and brothers would do with our friends. And we would go to like nearby ponds and go frog hunting. And I know, oh, my God, he killed frogs. What the fuck? No frog hunting. What we would do is we would get nets and we would absolutely no one's reaction literally everyone was like wait what the fuck he killed frogs no i never have never will i love frogs more than anything on this fucking planet um but i went to we would go and get really big long neck nets. Oh, catch the. Yeah. Yeah.

Long neck style. Big gulp slurpy straw. Girl, what? Where are you going with this? We would just catch the frogs and then bring them back and put them in the floor of the shower for a day and just take pictures with them and play with them and then we would bring them back to the pond and release them but they were big fucking frogs like literally like bullfrogs like when you held them by the top their legs would go this low they were like hella low yeah and we would just like catch them and take pictures and play with them and my dad was like is petrified of frogs because

he thinks they're gonna like jump in his mouth because he has like childhood trauma from a frog jumping in his mouth and um he uh and you really do look gorgeous today like i'm not even playing like i'm stunned by your beauty oh do you want to see something where i look really gorgeous too this one's just for you is it naked oh you look like your dad bro you look like your literal

sibling you're not gonna hit? No, absolutely not. Like a hell no. Kai is crying laughing. This is when I woke up. Ew! Bruh.

Wait, I took a good picture too. Ew! Would you hit though? Wait. Yeah, you're jealous. Hold on. how do i tell you jealous hold on that's just what i've been looking like i just got back home oh that was a really fast commute get the damn next topic how about that? Our sex tape. The leaked one? No, no, no.

The one that we're going to drop on OnlyFans. We have to report it first, but you've been stingy. You won't let me hit. Well, yeah, because I don't know. When I can't get it up, it's not because of you. It's like a me thing. Oh, okay. did you guys actually

have sex sorry did we or would yeah we've had sex a few times a couple times yeah how do you think we made our children oh right of course me and india were talking about the other day like if it ever gets really really rough for us like if we ever get like down tremendously fucking bad our fallback plan is to literally just man up woman up and do s on camera and release it on only fans and i guarantee i guarantee it would make two million dollars like yeah curiosity i think that the cat no curiosity killed the cat pushing it i don't know like i don't know if we'd make that much over time i really do think we could generate like a good amount of money because like bro like literally think about it like we a lot of people know our faces and if people found out we did s they would have to go fucking watch like you literally would have to

like all of my all of my friends all of my family like literally everyone i know would buy that shit for 5.99 like literally everyone would like i't know. But maybe two million is a reach, though. Yeah, because, I mean, you're getting, like, you're getting a huge deal because you guys are, it's like incest. And you're gay. And you're friends. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I was like, which one of us is your dog going to do? Because it's not. Not me. Never me. Okay, sorry. It's hard for me to never be me okay it's like it's hard for me to keep up with like what the narrative is she's changed it's so fluid every day with him i mean me and drew are both straight that's why we fuck like why would we fuck if we're not trade okay yeah totally dude you pushed him to going back to work I think he's back at work

literally he needed to go get his mind off of things and now he's back at work dude that was crazy why is your commute to work so quick hold on I'm getting in on shit bro so quick. Hold on. I'm getting in on that shit, bro. Yo.

Yo, um, why are you back at work? I thought you just clocked out. This guy is a fucking Wiccan. I literally cannot put these headphones on. You just need to get your mind off of things? I'm actually gonna have a panic attack like that was crazy i can't hear y'all anymore i oh wait why did i turn we're watching drew use a computer for the first time dude your hair you have so much hair. That was insane.

You do have, like, such insanely dense hair. I have them on backwards the whole time. I don't know if you feel this, Drew, but I want to go back to L.A. so bad. I agree. Like, I want to go home. I actually miss L.A. I know. I miss home.

That's my home alright well oh guys I wanted to show you guys something before we ended is it your penis I was in your house I was in your house at 3am let me see oh 1.14am get out of my fucking house when

it's like a couple days ago but anyway just why doesn't matter if you ever enter my house again without my permission i will call the cops yeah do it call the cops i don't give a fuck what i'm gonna call the gay cops on you oh i'll have sex with them in the rainbow car yeah i have sex with them all right oh my god wait drew yeah if you haven't watched the sopranos this might be a spoiler for you but it's not really but there was an episode with a sexy firefighter who looked exactly like the firefighter who was sexy from um the fire put being put out and i was like damn i should have had sex with him he was send me the picture of him yeah the firefighter in the show was so sexy like yeah send me a picture of him should I do some Drew's side up corner

hold on let me cover up this fucking nasty shiny forehead there that's better oh you look disgusting alright so these are just like a few of them are just certified classics that need to be said.

Women not knowing what to eat is a residual memory of when men suddenly showed up with whatever food they had managed to kill. A lot of women going through shoplifting phases. A lot of women are going through shoplifting phases and this is inherently intertwined with their subconscious and the fact that they used to gather berries, nuts, and greens. Do you think if I used that in court, I would get away with it? 100%. Yeah, depending on what I stole,

right? Yeah. You can't steal my heart any more than you already have, though. Why did that make her go away? I don't even want to fucking talk about it, bro. Okay. Oh. I hate when you guys do this. Girl spelled backwards is liar that girl's a liar

Uber Eats prices make you want to dig in your butt and eat the same shit from last night that's like one of my favorites you sent that one to me i'm pretty sure um you want to dig in your butt um some of y'all airpods looking like they were in y'all's ass is not your ears that's literally me i kind of ate this garlic bread from Dollar Tree. Now my leg won't move.

They should add a feature where we can fuck over Instagram. Yes. I'll do one more i got a bunch they should make a close friends that's like only fans but like you can make your close friends pay to see you naked on instagram that's actually a good idea that's what i'm saying why would i say if it was a bad idea? I don't fucking know, bro. Alright, we'll end on... This one's more for you, Enya. And I forgot to send it to you.

Here, I'll actually send it to you. Oh my god, do you want me to read it? Yeah. People just people just walk into my room and sit on my bed like i don't be squirting there yeah i'm like y'all can't sit on my bed with your outside clothes as if my bed isn't like hardened steel from Cum and Squirt. Ew. If you jumped on my bed, that shit would crack. Into a million pieces.

It would shatter. It would shatter. Cum everywhere. Just fucking Cum everywhere. What's crazy is like... Never mind, actually. That's like too explicit. Never mind. Well, should we get into media? Yeah.

You watch any movies? No, but I did have my cousins watch talk to me, but they're fucking annoying and they're all like, that wasn't even scary. I'm like, yeah, bitch, because you're stuck on your iPhone and you you're never gonna live a joyous life of being outside and being a normal teenager so now what your life is gonna suck and you're not gonna have any clean water for your kids how about you enjoy things or you'll literally be like me when i was 17 and just too cool i know me upset that my family is full of haters just like me i'm like fuck you bitch um i but i did oh my god actually um at my sister's keen set i got high because i didn't want to drink so i like took an edible instead and i took a little bit because i'm around all my family and they would scare me and i would look at them and know

that they were real people and freak the fuck out but i was sitting down and i just hear like the lights go down and they have a fog machine blasting. And all of a sudden I turn around and this was behind me. Drew, I am not kidding. I was crying. Like I need to see if any of my cousins got a video of me crying. Like I'm going to cover Natalie in this because I really don't want her to be seen. But look at that fucking robot guy

wait they got that they got one dude yes that's fucking lit so it was a man in a big suit in this humongous suit no that would be so scary if you were high and it was cracking me up it was freaking me out I was like oh my god there's literally

a grown ass man who has to go back home to his family in that right now. And he's like being paid to dance on stilts. And my little cousins kept running around his feet and he kept pushing my cousins away from him because I was like, oh, my God, this man's going to crush my cousins and like kill them. He probably loves that job, too. No, he was. That's a good bitch. And then he had lasers on his fingers and was like scanning scanning scanning um yeah i didn't watch any movies i cried in the airport listening to jump style music no no wait what did i cry what was it um oh shooting stars by the bag raiders and i was just looking at everyone's families and like

uh people sleeping on each other's shoulders and just being stressed out together and like being happy together and like getting on the plane together and it just made me so fucking happy and like i had like a moment where i was just like wow like life is beautiful family is beautiful like but yeah one of the songs is i had the same vibe uh take off for my flight coming here like i was looking out the window and i was like god dude like the world is so beautiful humans are so funny why did we make so many lights and i was like looking down and i was like dude it's so funny like there's so many people down there and they all have their lights on because it's dark and humans just can't see in the dark like i know we like we literally conquer everything like the like human unconquerable human spirit what is it

the undomitable human spirit like bitch try to fucking play with us like we'll figure out a way like yeah we might be just yeah one thing about humans is we're gonna figure it out yeah straight up straight up but yeah we might be destroying the world with global warming but like we'll just get on rockets and fly to a new planet and leave everyone behind the the billionaires that created the global warming will just leave us all behind and go to a new planet and do the same thing that's really morbid um okay well i'll give you a few songs um jump aidan music jump style tiktok mp3 psychosis um i really like i kind of avoided saying this song for so long because it became like a tiktok song and it pissed me off but uh 180 decibel underscore 130 um apex twin the uh off of syro

zero um and it pissed me off but it is just really a great song and then i've been listening to ice peak i've been listening to like really really dark music um while i've been in texas but ice peak has been like at the peak of it or at the top of it the bills has been affected um and literally i've been using my little sister's vanity like i haven't been wearing my glasses because you'll see like oh but you're cleaning all the dogs from her vanity okay wait but why is this three queens why is this three queens getting together to maximize their joint slay that's all emergency it's nice to call kaya queen because for sure doesn't give queen but oh yeah two queens and a peasant oh yeah two queens and a jester two queens and the janitor yeah that's more accurate okay well mine is just had to tell somebody by dorothy ashby goodbye the sundays traction in

the rain by david crosby and nothing Could Be Good by the Bee Gees. What album is the Dorothy song on? Is it Afro Harping? It's off the one, the white. It's Dorothy's harp. It's like the one with the white background and then just like the blue harp. I don't know if I've listened to that one. It's the one that has

By the Time I Get to Phoenix. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh, also, yeah also yeah yeah yeah also um oreo milkshake by young lean is a great song kai do you have media and don't you dare say you watch porn i get to do my media i'm not i don't watch porn anymore, I thought you'd change by Hotline TNT. Shout out Eric Rahill. He's in that video. He's really funny. He was also in my video.

That's it? Oh, I get to do more than one? Well, yeah. Do two. Don't get carried away, bitch. Okay. Greatest Hits by Jockstrap. Life is Perfecto by cfcf

and then for movies fight club wolf of wall street fucking fight club 2 fight club 3 thank you guys for watching just like going in y'all fuck with my hair like this should i wear it like this more often yeah you look like an anime character

you look like an anime character. You look like when people are lighting candles and then their hair sets on fire, but they get it out before their whole head goes. Cinch. I have this photo. Me and Drew looked at something, and we took this photo that I'm kind of afraid of bringing up on the podcast,

because we both... I don't know what was going on with the lighting, but both look so bad oh I showed in you oh I know what you're talking about it's really gross and you have to insert it it's so bad and I'm using that as the Instagram promo pic because it's fucked up it's literally it looks like Drew got hit by lightning twice no you know what it is it's for the first time the iphone in real life so i'm honestly glad dude i i saw that i saw me i was like i literally just look like a toe you you know you know the movie um like the they that dude that made a bunch of movies like recreating entire franchises with their thumbs.

It was like the Thumb Wars. Yes, that's what I look like. That's what we look like. Yes. And yeah. I'm embarrassed because I've been hitting this stupid fucking jewel. Oh my God, I freaked out because I thought I lost it and I was actually so sad about losing my red one.

I'm going to do Jewel ASMR. Jewel ASMR from somebody who made fun of people who used vapes for five years and now loves having her Jewel. Yeah, the mic isn't... Lady. All right, we're okay bye Bye.