Emergency Intercom - Drew Got Veneers

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Drew does a veneer reveal and enya discusses a religious pick me that hit on her and orion. They talk about the genesis of social media and delve into their earliest instagram posts. Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com/intercom  Get 20% Off + Free Shipping, with the code EMERGENCY at Manscaped.com Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Emergency Intercom.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. I'm feeling really ugly, so if you have any comments about my appearance, don't fucking say anything. Honestly, lately, I've been feeling fantastic. I've been feeling sexy as fuck. Just don't ask me to say my S's because I can't say them because i got veneers and i'm not used to them yet yeah i told you you shouldn't have gone to like someone you found like via groupon i told you to shut the fuck up i'm just saying like you you have a following you could have used somebody, gotten a discount, and gotten decent veneers. Yeah, but I like equality and being equal with everybody.

And if I have something that other people don't have, it means I'm privileged. And I just don't want to use that. You sound crazy. You sound like a different person. I think you're fucked up. You look fucked up. You look weird. Like something about you is weird today. And I can't...

I don't look weird at all. You look... No, I look good. I look fine. When we started the episode, a piece of your beard fell off. What? Like a drop of your beard. What was that? That was part of my tooth part of my tooth flew out all right when did you get them like three days ago oh so they're new now

yeah that's why it's like i'm having trouble talking wait why are parts of them falling out if you just got them because i got them in fucking new Mexico. I drove to Arizona. What's wrong with Arizona? Do they do really bad veneers there? Yeah. Is it because they're cheap? Well, they don't take health insurance. So you had to pay out of pocket?

How much was it out of pocket? Like $180. Wait, wait, wait. They shaved my teeth down. It's like it was worth it. They cut them. Okay, so this is how it went they took me to like is your spit pooling yeah um they took me to this um like really scary house um people were like overdosing on fentanyl in the front it was really scary and they walked me through the front

into this back room and it looked kind of nice they had like a table of like like inside did it look like an airbnb that you could get for like 80 yeah exactly exactly so but there was like a table in the back not like a dinner table just like a regular table and they would like lay on there a dinner table they made me pay first too which is really weird but i was like whatever i was like whatever i'll just do it. So they laid me down on the dinner table. They got out fucking, you know those, like, jackhammers? There was, like, a mini version of a jackhammer.

And they just started chiseling away at my feet. They probably got that off Shein because they don't sell that in stores. No, and then, you know the pics that you can get from Walmart to finish these? Yeah. Well, then they started going into my gums with that and, like, picking my gums away. Wait, they shaved it. Wait, go, like, where? You don't have gums anymore no because i want i told him i want the brightest smile so they put it as high up as they could go you sound so like a different person drew can you show that just like the profile if you look to the right of uh the beard what is that? It just. Oh, no. This. Look that way.

Look that way. Yeah. Something weird is happening. Something really strange is happening to the bottom of your beard. Wait, wait, here. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta get a little. I just gotta groom it a little bit.

Yeah. You didn't brush it this morning. Other than that, you look really good. Your hair is really glossy yeah did you use like a color depositing conditioner no oh what did you do this i just woke up oh did you get a haircut when you get got your you really gotta like push in um whatever's happening here i there's it's nothing happening it really seems like there's something happening. Oh, yeah. Like, look that way.

Yeah, it looks good. No, you fix it. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Why are you so funny? I think me and Kyra are honestly shocked because like. You just want me to fucking take off my beard?

You just want me to fucking take it off? I'll fucking take it off. I'm going to fucking take it off. Oh, my God. Fuck you guys. Are you shaved for you? You just pulled your beard off? You just ripped it off?

Yeah, I don't give a fuck. I'm literally fucking crazy. Did that not hurt? I'm fucking crazy. I'm fucking crazy. Why did that happen? What? What did that?

What is that? It's been three months. It's been happening for three months? Yeah, why do you think I wear the fucking hat? I did not know that. Drew, turn to the side. Oh, it goes all the way around. Yeah.

Did you do that on purpose? You're lying. You did that on purpose. No. Oh, why is it bumpy? It's literally bumpy. This is just how I born. This is how I was born.

It's really hard for me to say it. So so you just gotta stray away from words like is. What? It's hard for me to say S's. You should put the wig back on. You look really scary. No. I want the people to know who I am. And this is who I am.

I'm ready to be the person i was meant to be i'm tired of hiding god made me this way i should have god made you that way and that's why you got 180 veneers yesterday yeah three days ago like shut the fuck up wait you saying the thing about they're removable are your teeth shaved down under there yes we should have got the the uh the teeth faint oh yeah we got and we painted it around my little baby teeth. We'll do that for another episode, but everybody just acts surprised. Oh, you kind of look like Jim Carrey. Ew!

I just saw so much spit coming out of your mouth. Ew. Me with my Invisalign. Oh, yeah, they did shave your teeth down. Your teeth look really tiny and weird. Fuck off. These are my real teeth. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Also, we have not spoken about our awesome banner and why we have the banner yeah we have ads it's been a long time it's been a long time coming no one would sponsor us for 46 weeks a A year. Almost a year in. And you know, when I started, I was like, fuck the system. We'll get ads our own way. Yeah. It took a year. But it literally took a year. We did it.

We did it. We're excited. Should we bust those open? Yeah. Should we do it? And then like, okay. So we got something to celebrate. It's like a gender reveal.

I don't know how these work. Kai, you might want to... Like duck out of the way. So we don't know how these work kai you might want to um like duck out of the way you so we don't they're confetti cannons yeah oh it's scary wait okay to be loud as fuck honestly three two one oh That was so loud. My ears are ringing. I can't hear anything. Oh my god. There's a hole in our ceiling. Oh my god.

Why was that so loud? I feel like I just got flashbang. My ears are bleeding. Oh, it's all over me too. It's all over everywhere. We got it! We didn't even say anything we fucking suck um yeah we have ads so from now on click the fucking link in our bios motherfuckers yep click the links buy the products you know the drill um yeah um but let's honestly let's take an ad break right now oh kai are you having a hard time getting to your laptop now that

everything is covered in confetti yeah it's really hard to use my laptop yeah it's funny how you can't just be happy for us also i can't hear anything i just hear ringing my ears are honestly bleeding like Like that was overwhelmingly loud. But we did good at getting it in unison kind of. Yeah, I think we did it at the same time somehow. Like my face burns so bad from this spirit gum. You want to wash your face? Kind of.

But not really. I don't care. Okay. Let me know when you can't take it anymore. Yeah, i'll be fine what's awesome about all the confetti sticking to the ceiling is that every now and then it'll come down and there's one in kind of cute really oh yeah it got out it's on your shirt now oh okay um but thank you uh future and you and drew for reading those ads we love you better

help and manscaped. It was very natural. It's crazy that that was your first time. I think we're good at it, right? This has been very natural and chill. Yeah. It's like we weren't even talking about a product. We just were talking about ourselves so much. To our friends.

We'll make sure to make every ad about ourselves so it doesn't seem any different than any other episode and it's just us still talking about ourselves somehow we'll make all of the ads watchable somehow um but you talking about your fake veneers i want to talk about my dream i don't know if you want to talk about your dream that you have mine was i i this may need to be censored but it was literally an orgy where no sex happened but it was like initiated but then nothing happened and i swear to god i swear to god people hanging out no but but no it was initiated to be an orgy but we kept waiting for people to join and like more and more people would join and they're waiting

for people to ready up yeah exactly would people join and then kind of tap out no no no everybody was waiting and for some reason I was like the ringleader and I didn't want to be and I remember being really uncomfortable and not wanting to do it. But then everybody just kind of got angry at me and we all just like walked away. And we were at...

It was so fucking weird because... Whatever. It doesn't even matter. Like the set and setting. Actually, I just am uncomfortable saying it. So I don't want to say it. Okay, don't do it. Yeah. Well, my dream my dream was oh is there confetti in your water guy yeah you could just drink it probably just has like lead on yes um cosplay as a sea turtle oh cosplay

is that's what a sea turtle experiences every day with all the plastic imagine you were a little fish trying to eat some fucking uh bacteria we made sure this plastic was biodegradable. No, we really didn't. This is like, this will be on this earth till we die and perish. Can I cosplay as a sea turtle? Cosplay as a sea turtle? You want me to eat trash? Eat the microplastics.

These are macroplastics. These are big um in my dream i went with like i was with orion and we went to an esthetician to both like we were in the dream we were in our like mid 30s and we were like honestly i'm down to get a little botox like both of us were just like i think i'm gonna get a little botox i'm always down for botox yeah i'm like open to whenever i need botox i'm gonna get it i don't give a fuck but not like crazy botched like i'm gonna just do a little touch up i don't give a fuck it's just snake venom um but we like went to go get it and orion filled out the form and

in the dream i'm literally sitting like curled up and I hate when people comment about it. Then sit like a real man and spread your legs, slut. Ew. That looks weird. I'm like really comfortable. Especially with your hair. I actually think I have just giant calluses on my ass like a baboon. Like I think that's literally, like have you ever seen a calloused baboon ass? Yeah.

That's literally, because I realized like after like episode 32, I don't feel this chair anymore. It's crazy. No, you don't feel the chair anymore because I think I saw someone comment about it. You stood up and nobody ever sees the deterioration. Also, you're fully going to be the first human on Earth with, like, a rare, like, sort of cancer. Oh, I've said that before. This is not safe at all to be touching on this yeah um but yeah so in the dream there was like um you know the sheets

that like makeup artists have to like draw on before like to like do creative oh yeah like the little the like face chart yeah there was that and orion had went and filled it out for us and i didn't see before she did it and i like went and lay down and they like numb my face and i like fell asleep while they did it when i woke up and looked in the mirror i looked fucking crazy and she had given me lip filler and i was like i don't want lip filler and then she was like your friend filled it out like that and i looked at orion and she had gotten lip filler but hers looked really good but i was having like an allergic reaction and I looked fucking awful. And I just spent the whole dream freaking the fuck out.

And I remember we paid her literally like I called my friend. I FaceTimed him and I was like, dude, look at me. Like, what the fuck? And he was like, why would you do that? Like, how much did you spend on that? And I was like, it was literally $34. Me with my $180 veneers. Yeah.

So that reminded me of that and it gave me a new fear because I'm just like I've thought about getting lip filler but then I know that would happen to me like I would get really botched that's the thing with any like elective surgery that

I'd ever like get it would be botched and that would be like 36 times uglier than before that's literally why i like don't dabble in that stuff also because like if i'm being honest god did make me very perfect i was about to say the same thing god about me perfect yeah yeah you should get something done though a few things what the fuck i could i could write up a list and like text it to you so you don't forget it. Like what? Probably, like, first of all, something about the hair.

Fuck off. Like ASAP. No, I'm not doing anything about my goddamn hair. Okay, fine. I can get a brand deal to fly Turkey to get my hair replaced. And I have a plus one. Yeah, no one can go to Turkey. And I have a plus one.

You're taking me. Yes. I mean, I didn a plus one. You're taking me. Yes. I mean, I didn't really want to take you. You kind of just invited yourself. And now you can't uninvite me. No, I'm not inviting you. Wait, so am I going to Turkey with you or no? No.

Who's going? Who's going to really take care of you after your surgery? That's the thing. I'm going to go. Kai is going to really take care of you after your surgery? That's the thing. I'm going to go with you. Kyra's going to go. But the thing is, is if I took you to take care of me after my surgery, you would not take care of me after my surgery. Are you kidding?

You have made it very abundantly clear that if I was ever hopped up, laid up, like, paraplegic, whatever it is, you would not take care of me. And I know if I got a hair transplant surgery, you would not take care of me. No, that's different. Like transplant surgery you would not do no that's different like taking care of you for like three days versus like what now like i have to wipe your fucking ass i'm not wiping your ass right i would i would yeah kai would wipe my ass even if like my lifelong partner and i would wipe the shit off of your ass i would go fucking hard like getting that shit out of your butt but it kind of sounds like you want to do that. Like just naturally. Yeah.

You don't think there's anything weird about you wanting to wipe the poop off of my butt? No, it's just my primal urge to take care of people. And it's also a little bit sexual. But yeah, I would not take care of you. No, I would take care of you for like three days but bitch if you'd like oh i have to put you into my car no you wouldn't pick me up no you're a big girl i would lose so much weight you say like you'd be fucking thumbelina bitch you'd still be a grown-ass man with bones god you're so annoying and mean um anybody want to ask me

what happened at dinner the other night oh my god what happened at dinner the other night that you you wanted to bring up to me but you're like let's let's save it for the podcast it is it was the craziest experience i've ever had like i had men like hit on me and my friends or like I've seen my like friends be hit on by men. But this was the funniest thing ever. Like we literally were cracking up. So it was me, Orion and Rain. We went to a dinner and it was like a like cute restaurant.

Like it was pretty packed. But by the time we were like getting our meals, it kind emptied out so there were a bunch of empty tables and it's one of those restaurants that has like the things where you can draw so we're all drawing like crosses and hearts and stuff but like orion's side she's sitting alone so there's a whole area where she's just filling it with like crosses and ribbons and like all this stuff so it's very visible girl shit yeah it's very visible on orion's side so we're just sitting there and then like rain goes oh my god like to me and i'm like huh and i look and it was this fucking random ass white dude with painted nails like pointing to the table next to us but it was a straight white dude like like yeah of course you know exactly the vibe like like sweater like almost long hair and like his like little manicure like

okay get a grip like you're ugly um so he like pointed to the table right next to us and rain was like really like of all the tables like he no he has to sit next to us like she didn't say all of that but she was like really wait like he he was pointing there to sit there yeah like the waiter was like do you have anywhere you want to sit he pointed to the table right next to us mind you there was like tables everywhere and they were close tables because it's like kind of like an intimate like close restaurant and it was very close to us so he sat down and, like, looked at the table. And, like, immediately he's like, I like the drawings. Like, he said that.

And we were all like, oh, thank you. So far, not weird. Yeah, it's not the worst thing. And Orion was like, okay, thank you. And he sits down. And he is just, like, staring at us. Like, it's this one long booth. And he has his body turned to Orion, basically.

And is, like, staring at us while we talk. Well, it's not his fault that y'all are so hot. Like that's on you. Yeah, that is kind of your guys' fault. Like be less pretty and you'd get stared at less. Yeah, I will say like it is like honestly, should I just get into it? Yeah, get into it. It's a really hard life being like one of the hottest

women in la no i i've seen it with my own two eyes because i'm like technically the hottest man in la and it's just like no it's really hard like like why do you have to make it about yourself but us being the duo you know look at your head right now you might have gotten like that well three fucking months ago i was the hottest man alive and now you want to bring in my fucking hair again okay put the hat back on this is like what we always talk about how hard it is for women to be really hot and like just exist i know like oh yeah and y'all's free time when you like touch each other and stuff oh my god i mean i don't know why you have to bring that up i mean yeah no i'm just saying it's really hard for you to be beautiful and also really hard for me to be sexy.

And that's all I'm getting at. And it's okay. We can both be hot. Okay. Anyways. So, yeah. She cries herself to sleep. Because it hurts.

It hurts my feelings. Like, sometimes when people compliment me, I'm like, you know what's so sad is you wish you could look like me and you just never will there is no getting to look like me like all the surgeons in the world couldn't make it happen because i will i okay and like this is honestly this is just me being real yeah and it has to be said some of you are really ugly um and that's okay because we you know what it's like we need the ugly people yeah just to make us look prettier because like where would we be there's a place in society for the ugly folk yeah um and like honestly thank you guys thank you to anybody who's ugly watching yeah like because we shout out to the ugly people yeah we need you i feel bad for you i feel bad shout out for the ugly people i feel bad for you

we need you yeah yeah shoutazzy people with anxiety. Yeah. Oh. Damn. Okay. Let me just put it in a story. Damn. So he's just like staring at Orion and we're like trying to ignore it, but we're already kind of cracking up

because we can't believe like his lack of, he's not even trying to hide the fact that he's eavesdropping. Like at one point he like butts in and says something else to us and we were like yeah oh because we were just like talking about work and stuff and he butts it he's like i really fuck with the vibe that like you guys like understand your value that's really awesome like said that to us and we were like yeah i agree with him. I like that. As a woman, understanding your value is important.

And we were like, yeah. He's literally the character in the encounter play. No, he actually was. No, but this is what made us all fucking crack up. So we're sitting there, whatever. And I, like, have a perfect view of him because Rain is to my side. So, like, if she looked at him, it would be too crazy. But since Orion's across from me, me like he's fully in my eyesight we're sitting there eating and he gets brought his fucking food and i just see him go like this oh no you saw the crosses and he started faking prayer no way he had a laundry list to god

because he was in that position for so long no you want to go and see him so if you're an audio listener he just put his hands up classic style started praying like hands together like someone was about to take a picture of him in 2014 like literally praying 14 12 2014 no because in 2014 when everybody like because of Drake would do like the six god thing like literally that was his vibe so he and he was silent for so long and I like was looking at him and I just go oh I would have died and I like I like told them and I just like looked them in the eyes and I was like and they all like both of them looked and we just started laughing and then no he was straight up faking because of the crosses. No, he was.

And so then Rain picked up her phone and was like, Oh, Ryan couldn't look because she was scared he would look up. And Rain put her phone right in front of him and was like, Did I show you guys this? And Ryan looked at the phone to, like, look at him. And we just started cracking up. And then whatever. We move on.

And, like, he's eating and still just obviously fucking eavesdropping because he's like just staring at us while he eats bitch tell me why because he got an appetizer he got a salad tell me why they brought him his spaghetti guess what he did again he went back into fucking praying mode and i'm like okay he prayed over his water and his me when i've never fucking prayed in my life and i think i have to pray for every course of the meal. That's so sick. And he did it again. And dude, we were dying laughing. Honestly, he's braver than the troops and I support him.

And yeah, and then we like all just like kept talking. And he like butted in one more time. I was like, sorry, I'm like eavesdropping. Like, you guys are just so interesting. And we were like, okay. You should have just invited him to sit at your table. I started making- You probably could have made a friend.

Yeah. Who would have fingered me? A fingering friend. Oh my God. Honestly, everybody needs a fingering friend. Can I just say that? Can I just say that? Everybody-

I don't know if you're allowed to say that. We have a BF, but we need an FF. A fingering friend. I don't know if you're allowed to say that. Why am I not allowed to say that? I don't know. I need a fingering friend. I'm just, you're allowed to say that why am i not allowed to say that i don't know i need a fingering friend i'm just as a woman i'm speaking what i need it's true like she's just expressing herself kai shut the fuck up you're not qualified word okay yeah is that true though that you're just expressing yourself yeah that's usually what i'm

doing when i just like speak drew and i love when women express what are you doing to the mic yeah what stop drew showed me a video of him doing like a spin table pottery thing and actually grossed me oh it was it's i have to watch it again real quick we'll add it on the screen for you guys but it's honestly you're not allowed to put that public because it's nasty no it's honestly the most sexual i think i've ever been in my life and it's not like publicly sexual and it's not even like i was trying to be it's just like pottery is naturally just like sexy for some reason erotic yeah yeah yeah what is that movie ghost where they like yeah here we go oh wait wait wait the thing is like it is on purpose

no i was really into it there it is we're about to get in there like you did it on purpose the sound sounds so fucking naughty yeah literally like even though like and then you like under your breath saying like this looks so good so you just get into it you just get into it and you lose yourself remember when you me and or i'm trying to go to pottery like they fucking kicked us out they're like fuck you guys were like, we booked the class and they're like, sorry, we overbooked.

You have to go. And we were like, okay, we'll take one for the team. But fuck you. And they didn't give us our money back or a voucher to come back. Really? That seems illegal. I mean, take it up with them.

I don't think Kai cares that much. But yeah, and then he left and we just fucking died laughing because I couldn't believe it. Y'all are so mean. We're mean? He was probably just having the time of his life. He probably has a different story. Wait, did he eat with anybody or was he just alone? He was alone.

Really? And he chose... It was just him and God at the table? Yeah, literally. Oh, he made a joke about it he was like sorry i was eavesdropping like because you know the guy across the table was too funny and there was no one there and we were like you know what happened is he has a completely different perspective on this he was like i talked to three gorgeous women and it was like so epic for me to

do and he was probably like so excited to get out of his shell and he was just like like i am like he was so excited to see our uh orion's like little like shitty doodles out of boredom while she was talking and see the two crosses and be like yeah someone made a compilation is we like we're dressed like hella like the pilgrimage like because we were all in our like edwardian nightgowns so we straight up looked like our vibe was jesus like we were serving jesus speaking of that yeah we have we have another one coming up let's yeah let's hear from future drew and inya i um someone made a tiktok of like my movements and how like yossified they are.

And now I'm insecure about it. It's like when I like move my hair across or like move my shit like that. People are like your movements are yossified. And I just did it. And then I realized that I'm doing exactly what people are making fun of me for. And how does that make you feel? Terrible. Yeah.

You should write a fucking book about it and sell it to somebody who gives a fuck because I literally don't. Oh my God. Whoa. I'm just a woman saying how I feel. Yeah. That's my new stride. That's my summer.

We do like that. My summer 22 mood. The big mood vibe. Schmood, schmood, schmood. My summer 22 mood is restarting Ask.FM and bullying the fuck out of people anonymously or bullying myself so that people feel empathy for me and putting it publicly it's like those people who like do like the questions on ig and they ask themselves the questions and screenshot it and post it on their

story and it's like how are you so sexy or like you're so sexy how big is your penis have you seen those people where they don't realize that like you can tell that they ask the questions to themselves no yeah it's really humiliating how can you tell i'm like freaked out damn kai damn it's like seriously how can you tell oh my god did just do a q a on uh he opened that up on his instagram damn so are those questions asked by other people or about you uh other people that's that um i don't he just like types a question into the bar and screenshotted it and then posted it onto his story oh maybe it was on purpose and you missed the comedic like no it was not on purpose at all so we know it's a boy yeah it was not on purpose as a man why are

you asking yourself questions you should be silent literally no back to ask fm um that shit was scary i fucking hated ask fm they like it gave me trauma we had ask fm and then we had this thing called yik yak at our school do you know what yik yak oh yeah i never had yik yak have i talked about this before baby um it's like that uh yik yak is like this app that like you it's basically just for your school district and it like it opens up like a public social media but it's within like a five mile radius or something and basically once our high school got a hold of it it was just like airing out everybody's business that nobody needed to know and like saying really gnarly shit and like bullying certain kids and like for the most part like i stayed like steered clear of it like it was totally chill like no one

said shit about me and this was like at the beginning of like social media so i was like terrified someone would have something to say about that because i was so insecure about it um but near the end of its life because it got cancelled um because people were like sending death threats and like bomb threats and school shooting threats and all this crazy onto it so the school district was able to like ban it um and get it like banned from our school but um right before the end of it someone wrote on there that i got i was getting head and had a seizure while driving and crashed the car and people believed that people believed that i was getting

head i had a seizure and crashed my car people believe that you were getting head so good that it's like no no i think it's like super chill but like you were literally getting the best and i i did not deny i didn't say i didn't confirm or deny i just let people believe it and i was just well was it true yeah it was true that's fucked up it's not cool now that i know you actually like that i think that's very cool that's like something that would happen to playboy cardi yeah exactly and and i was on lean wait you were you were drinking and driving yeah sipping and driving that's so cool so wait that's probably why you crashed your car it's not because of the seizure.

It's because of the... No, I had a seizure because of the lean. Because the head was so good? No, because I was overdosing. They had Yik Yak at UCLA, and it was really intense. Because I was very depressed at UCLA, and then I would just go on it, and it was just people fucking they had like a oh it was um they had a snapchat that was linked to yikyak somehow and then people would like um very voyeuristic just upload themselves having sex yeah people

would upload like videos of themselves having sex and everyone that i knew that was like also depressed was like this is not my college experience like what the fuck is going on oh that's so sad to see and it looks fucking lit yeah it looks really lit meanwhile you're just a virgin doing your virgin oh my god that's embarrassing they should write a movie about that i don't think it's embarrassing to like get smarter and learn but no not have sex humiliating yeah what just because you don't have sex doesn't mean you're not cool yeah that's literally what a virgin fucking loser would say that is what a virgin loser would say god damn it um we didn't have yik yak i remember i found out about it on twitter and i like downloaded it and literally it was like desolate nobody had yik yak in my area

and honestly nobody even in my area did like ask fm but i would do ask fm how about like internet user shit and did you ever ask anybody on anything on ask fm um i was never an anonymous bully i just like asked people questions i was like genuinely curious about but anonymously because i didn't want people to know it was me and also i just liked giving people content type vibes because i felt bad when like my friends would do it and they would get like bodied i'd be like they didn't want to answer these really mean questions so i'd ask the nice ones i was basically a saint yeah you were an angel yeah you sound like a really good person um i never asked anybody questions because i was too scared that somehow they would link

into my ip address and know it was me and i was too that was me that was me and i was too scared of anybody actually knowing it was me but i would ask myself hella questions to get because you gotta you gotta like get it jump-started because sometimes people are like they don't want to ask you anything because they like think that no one else is asking any huh i never had one like i never did one publicly i did i was just like a viewer i was voyeuristic um speaking of uh ask fm do you remember kik and kick yes i had kick oh that was hella grooming that was where our generation went to get groomed yeah it was kick i a lot of kids at my school had kick though too kik was literally the first vine tiktok like guru yeah it was kick i a lot of kids in my school had kick though too kik was literally the first vine tiktok like it was it was before vine and tiktok i wasn't like

a kik girl i was a kik girl i i had a video go viral on kik and then i moved from kik to vine or i moved from kik to gift boom from gift boom to vine from vine to now kick is where i thought i was talking to bella thorne oh yeah it's so embarrassing you got catfish yeah me getting catfish i'm pretty sure i was catfish like a handful of times oh for sure like a hundred that's so funny that that like girl she was probably your age she was probably like nine or ten as well and she just like was living her bella thorne fantasy but i was definitely like catfished by like people who i thought were like cute guys and it was probably older men being weird with me oh for sure yeah like a hundred percent during like tumblr era where there was

literally no way to identify if people were real or not yeah yeah catfish central i was being hella catfish but you know what it doesn't matter i had something to talk about and i fucking forgot it hold on keep going it doesn't matter because at the end of the day like i was getting my attention so you can feel embarrassed by being catfished or you'd be satisfied with the attention you got no matter who it was on the other side of the screen fuck there was another thing around that area that we all experienced like not omegle we've all talked about omegle um what else like fuck it was so good too god damn it should i just keep fine i'm just gonna kill myself i'm just gonna kill myself oh my god that's not the solution

yeah no that's that's never the solution this is my last episode i get called ugly i have to rip out my fucking veneers on my beard i'm so ugly i'm so ugly bye i'm killing myself jesus christ like what do you want from me oh my god you are a freak um but you know what i was talking to christian about yesterday we didn't have amazon oh yeah that is so weird and our netflix was delivered to the door in the mail yeah i i didn't have netflix until like way later in high school i think like maybe senior year is when i like had like when netflix was like really a thing people were actually like it was just like when stranger things came out everybody got it that was like when i started oh by the way have i told you that i'm friends with

finn wolfhard from stranger Did you forget his name? No. You don't know him. I mean, we're like really close friends. Like, do you know the show Stranger Things? What is that? Child star Finn Wolfhard. Netflix.

No. Okay. I don't watch TV. I'm not allowed to. Oh my God. I know who that is. I think that's very cool. Thank you, Kai.

He's making it up. He's not friends with that person. I have a bunch of photos with him insert photoshopped photos of me and also cut that just for a reminder for me to photoshop them see no we're not gonna cut that girl what i just came back into my fucking brain what i was thinking of oh fuck i posted it on my goddamn meme account and it's it's it's it's coming oh fuck it's coming oh is it the fandom wear yes that's what it was we need to bring back fandom wear for the mat gala um straight up that's what we need to do um but literally fandom wear is so sick and there's like this post um that i posted on my meme account that you bitches are trying so hard to get into.

It's honestly kind of embarrassing and you're not getting in. So like give it up. I've had over like 5,000 requests on that account. And like I haven't never publicly stated what the account is and they've just found it. I don't know how they found it. It's fucking crazy. But they think that my finsta is my meme account and that my meme account is my finsta they're like oh the old ones the new ones bleep those

and you bitches couldn't be more wrong it's so embarrassing it sounds like you said you bitches are creme more wrong creme more what is that i don't know that's like but yeah fandom where i just saw this picture of like louis and or like one of these louis outfits yeah the suspenders and bright red pants i was like i'm doing that for a youtube video i don't give a fuck like i'm doing that for a youtube video like i never truly experienced one direction and i've always been jealous of the people who did and now i'm going to experience one direction as an adult bitch i just have an age regressing series on my youtube channel like that's literally all it is like at the end of the day like i'm proposing to my cousin wait why is that age regressing age regressing no i'm just saying it's just like how

fucking weird my youtube channel is but um i like, did you do that as a kid? While everybody was fans of One Direction, I was a Miley and Beyonce girl. You see, the One Direction girls were tapped into everything, though. Oh, yeah. Because we were still tapped into Miley. Yeah. Like, it was like still. You probably didn't have the relationship that I had with her.

But that's okay. You can have One Direction, but I have Miley. We weren't playing the same game, you know? Yeah, I guess. I liked Apex Twin when I was younger. Oh, that makes sense because you were really fucking old. And Bogdan Brzezinski. Yeah, when we were like-

Oh, okay. Four Tattoo. You're a fucking weirdo, okay? Yeah, because- No, leave him. It makes sense. When we were 14, he was already like 26. a fucking weirdo. Okay? Yeah, because, no, leave him. It makes sense. When we were 14, he was already like 26. Virgin.

I wasn't 26. Yeah, right? You were 26 when you were 14. I wasn't. No, I was like 17. I was 17. But yeah, we... He got that fair.

We were... Fuck, I lost track. I lost track. You were a Miley girl. Oh, a Miley girl, beyonce girl i was you know what it was i was a beyonce girl back on my ig it's really fucking embarrassing and i was a lana girl i archived quite a lot oh yeah lana but i was um she's so beautiful i was a beyonce girl when i was really young and then i became a justin bieber girl and then i became a one direction girl and then in that one direction fandom you had to be dabbling in the other girls because it was the whole culture

but like obviously one direction was top of my priorities um i had i've gotten the tweet from now horan like i was there like i was literally there damn is he alive nile yeah is he alive he passed away in his london flat if of them died, I would kill myself. Nile Horan passed away in his London flat. It's a news story right here. Wait, where is he? We need to find out right now. Fuck, wait.

That's how I started my YouTube channel. It's a video that I've privated since. But literally, my first YouTube video was about Zayn leaving One Direction. Damn. No way. Yeah, I swear to God. That was like, because that's how I started. I started on the internet because.

Do you have it archived or did you delete it? No, it's just privated. I need to see that. No, I would. Are you still embarrassed as shit back then? I'm so embarrassed. Really? Yeah.

It's like cute and endearing to me. No, I'm still not there. Maybe when I'm old like you, it will be. But yeah, I don't need to be damn damn um i think i've archived a few of my like honestly should we do that for the rest of the videos look at our old id post that's what i'm doing right now i'm in deep we got a picture ig make it so that you could look at your last post like i shouldn't have a public instagram that has 830 posts yeah that is kind of crazy um but we're looking at a picture that i posted of miley cyrus and it says bay stop then we're looking at a post of my youtube

channel with 34 subscribers in this banner that i made that i was so proud of i was like this is so tumblr like this is eating and then do you know what this quote is what pick your balls up off the floor no it's like uh harry or niall or liam someone said that to one of them in the band i think liam said it to harry maybe i don't remember um i simply don't remember hold on i gotta look it up i need to archive like half my ig this is too much pick your balls up off the floor and i thought it was like it was like salad in the wind type vibe liam tweeted it pick up yeah look here it is liam tweeted um damn pick your balls up off the floor and get on with it instead of taking advantage of every word said and twisting it for your own gain. I thought that was the funniest shit ever.

So much so that I posted this. And I was high as fuck in that picture. This. I was in my Tumblr bag. Girl, wait, wait, wait. I got the trill. I got the trill. And then wait.

Look at this. Look at this era. Tumblr bag. Look. This is the trill. I got the trill. And then wait, look at this. Look at this era. Tumblr bag. Look, this is the 1975 occasion. Not the Minions joke. Like, holy shit. Damn, I was with it. I was with the times.

It's actually crazy. Wait, why was I serving gradient? Not me when I thought I was genuinely an alien posting this and being like, ugh. Like, that's me. I thought when I was growing up, I genuinely thought I was an alien posting this and being like like that's me i thought when i was growing up i genuinely thought i was an alien like there were two years of my life where i was so depersonalized and so decentralized and derealized from reality that like i for real was like oh like the only thing that makes sense is that i am not actually alive or that i don't belong here and i'm from another planet

and like when madison beer gets made fun of for saying she's like an alien because she's so beautiful and esoteric like i do understand what she's saying she's not saying she's saying it because she is she's not here yeah exactly exactly she's desensitized never depersonalized oh this yeah pushing all the pop girlies off the table but like when i posted that i was like i'm really sad about like a lot of these oh that is hold on so it's a picture of a uh music on one trillion swag uh Yala, Lolly, 23 Miley Cyrus, SMS Bangers, Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball, Miley Cyrus, Love Money Party, F U, Do My Thing. Okay, it's literally all Miley Cyrus. Like when I tell you I was a Miley stan. Yeah, I wasn't a Miley fan like that.

I did like Bangers, but I wasn't like listening to miley other than that there was like a bangers 2 era coming back me posting me looking up urban outfitters and then adding a filter to it and then posting it acting like i took the photo and i'd never been to urban outfitters urban outfitters was was literally the mecca like that was the spot like it was crazy if you could go into urban outfitters and purchase something like you were winning like you were literally winning yeah you were goals you were trill as fuck you had money like you were true yeah you were like rich this archive was the end of an era damn my fucking if like if you were around for my music wall i had the time i was around for

your music wall i had so much time i was bored as fuck and i had time i don't even think i have a picture of it i was really where the fuck is she is so beautiful i may need fresh eyes on this you know what's really cute is like um is going back and seeing like so many of our friends who we still know like liking my post i know like matt matt still like was liking oh i clicked on it um yeah she is so beautiful cannot get over how beautiful on it is oh let's see who's liked this matt net girl greece elena sydney wishful annie rest in peace um truth or dana tori every time i get in the car i get in my feelings times 10 damn that's my that was a caption on one of my pictures as fuck dude i'm still not over, like, full-blown, like, Tumblr feed era. Like, that shit's so funny.

It was such a time, like, literally curating, like, a color-coded feed. I know. Like, and, like, adding the filter, like, the pink filter over every photo. Yeah, like, adding blue tones or pink tones, like, depending on what era you were in. Or if you were in, like, your white and black era. Like, having to, like, desaturate it. And scour the shit out of Tumblr and black era like yeah having to like scour and scour the shit out of tumblr and have like aesthetic tumblr vlogs me cute and single oh my god while you're actively being groomed by like a 34 year old literally actively being groomed by somebody who could very well go into any liquor store and buy alcohol and i was like 15 i was

like me when i'm single like and he would text me and be like, don't say that. Dude, the internet was fucking crazy. Like, how are we, like, how did we survive early internet? Because it was fucking fun. The genesis of social media. Like, I genuinely don't know how any of us survived. Like, that was like, it is still, in my eyes, the Wild West. And no one knows what the fuck is going on or how to handle it. And there will be laws in five to ten years banning children from the internet,

fully barring them. But the fact that we grew up nine to ten years of our life, 12, 13 for some, without cell phones and social media, and then right when we got onto the internet, we were introduced to like the worst shit possible like sure there was myspace and like early facebook that we were on

but like crazy like i remember finding out what a hashtag was i remember like begging my friends like saying like dude like i don't know what the fuck this is like what is a hashtag explain it and they're like oh it's like literally just a hashtag like you hashtag and then add the word after and i'm like but what is it like what does that mean and they were like it's just like this like thing on twitter like just like say hashtag drew phillips and like it's a hashtag now and i was like the symbol is a hashtag but what is it i remember this conversation going on for like five minutes and like i just didn't understand it but i my like true internet usage didn't start till like late seventh grade like early eighth grade that's when i really was like tapping into like using the

internet but yeah we got like a good chunk of our life where like that was the last of our worries and even when we were doing that the internet was so small so it wasn't like it didn't like invade any of your personal life you could like step in and out of it it's like the internet was like small until like 2020 like 2019 like it was still small yeah like it was it's insane how like exponential it's gotten grew it so much yeah um i guess like our side of the internet i mean like i guess the internet was used by everybody but like like stan like video like that type of shit was just no it was still so small because like that's what that's what i mean oh wait you mean like internet like internet as a whole because i knew so many kids who like still well into high school didn't have like instagram and shit because they were like what like i don't want that shit they were like why would i do that like why would i

don't want to post pictures girl we were getting made fun of for this shit and now everybody everyone was okay no one made fun of me to my face oh yeah but shit was set behind my back and look at me now now i have a semi-successful podcast where we run ads now i have yeah now i'm bald i miss like how fucking crazy the internet used to be but i also don't because like now it's like i also i think the internet has gotten more mean like oh for sure like we we got like that's what i'm saying is like the internet at least used to be like fun like it was just like you could like be a stupid fucking idiot and everybody was a stupid fucking idiot but no one was mean because we were all fucking weird losers yeah everybody understood

that like if you were that tied to the internet it was probably because at back at home you were like not like subconsciously i stand mindly cyrus so hard because of monan hannah montana because i led such a double life like in real life I presented as like this like like athletic like sports playing boy but on the internet I was standing Miley Cyrus and Beyonce and it was an escape it genuinely was like such a good escape yeah like my one direction obsession was fully like an escape from my reality like it literally was like I got to go home and like talk to people who like had this one interest that was so similar to mine and we could talk about like our personal lives without having to get too personal because at the core of it like what was important was like what are these like five dudes like doing right now like where are

they what are they doing i remember when i couldn't get tickets that's why i love stan culture so much i love stan culture so much i love stan culture so much because i like i understand like what it is to these girls yeah it literally is like an escape yeah i mean i just have to clarify this i am and was the last straight miley cyrus stan like i was straight standing oh you so when you when you posted a picture of lana del rey and like mylene you said oh my god she's so beautiful it was you were being that was from a straight place it wasn't like oh my god she's serving before boots was a serve it was like it was like oh she's like hot like like vagina hot like i love vagina i do it's true he does i mean i i had a vagina stan twitter in seventh grade what i just stand

vagina um well my username when niall horan tweeted me was literally vagina niall and he fully he fully opened that up and replied to it and he replied to me on i think justin bieber's birthday because i remember i was like what a fucking day i get to celebrate justin bieber's birthday and that's so cute um and it was the best thing ever you had a bunch of like accounts i just i've literally had the same account but i would change my username because i was big in the one direction like fandom culture i remember always have like a funny and like new username and it like when we both started garnering audiences i remember very early on like when we had like our little fandoms or whatever you want to call it um and like people would like make an

announcement being like i'm changing my username soon uh please remain moots like we're gonna oh like we're still gonna be moots but i'm changing my username just wanted to let everybody know and it was more to like let your mutuals know but also to let like your like prize followers know like because i kept up with my fan accounts like i loved like my early fan accounts like i wonder where they still i i'm like actually friends with a lot of them today like literally good yeah yeah most of most of like the friends i made on the internet like close friends were like people who like had liked my content like at the beginning like i literally like one of my like first friends in la ashley was because she was like liked my youtube videos and my vines and when i came out to la like she me and her would hang out all the time and we still like follow each other and like keep up

every now and then yeah so it's like it is like crazy it was just like a different it was because it was so intimate like it was like an intimate thing and because we were part of press play so we would be seeing these people in real life all the time and i literally would hang out with like everybody all the time it was just so fun like yeah i really like drew's content on grinder and that's yeah how i met drew because i shut the fuck up yeah no one knows about that because i'm straight yeah not you not you attempting to out your quote unquote friend yeah i'll cut that i'll cut it it's fine you can't fucking cut it you have to be in the episode guys it won't be in the episode drew is top two percent on a grinder top 0.1 babe that's smaller top 0.1 is that wait 1.01 wait zero okay i think when people say that i

get confused and i'm reading it the opposite way that it's like it's like because when it's no like i mean the one percent i'm like that's a small a very small amount out of 100 that is that's what people are saying like the 0.01 percent own like a majority of the wealth in the world but it's like a thousand people compared to seven eight billion people and they own oh okay see i've been reading it different i was like why are y'all like bragging about being 0.5 percent right now like that like you're literally oh my god no like that's embarrassing i cannot believe this i'm a little fucking dumb. I don't give a, I've always said, God doesn't give you big tits and a brain.

Like, let's talk about it. Like that's too much body mass. Like I only have enough body mass and like strengthen myself to carry one thing. If you got your boobs removed, do you think your brain would grow? Yeah. 100%. Yeah. It would be like, I'd have a really big brain.

Word. Which is honestly probably why is it big brain boobs and cooter bronson or could you get a cooter bronson removal grow your boobs and brain uh no i get that's a good point because my my coochie does carry a lot of my weight yeah but like is it the same ratio like if your coochie's big your brain can't be big or does that not no i don't think the coochie correlates like it doesn't it's not on the same plane okay there because like you don't want to be top heavy that's the whole thing is like you can't have a big brain and big boobs because then you'll fall over everywhere yeah so that's damn it's crazy how evolution just like figured all this shit out for yeah wait what is it it's like evolution um it's like mistakes or something it's

like so evolution isn't real. It's just a theory and we don't actually know if it's real. I agree with that. Oh my God. Then room full of dummies. No, it's like the entire... Our entire lives are like

mistakes, basically. We're just like in a cumulative mistake and that's why we are what we are today. I'm not a fucking mistake. Yeah,'s why we are what we are today. I'm not a fucking mistake. Yeah, me neither. But. Oh my God. Are you going to put your veneers back on?

Or like, did you pay $180? Nope, they're not going back on. Nope, they're not going back on. You just spent $180 to have them sitting here? Yep. You just have that kind of disposable income? I don't give a fuck. I'm rich as fuck.

Okay, let's get into media um okay this album that i've been listening to is music for 18 musician by steve reich right r-e-i-c-h um this album is very orchestral and epic and it just makes me very happy um and it makes me feel things from music that i don't typically feel, which is really, really cool. And I like anything that's able to do that just because it's cool. And then a little banger that Kai showed me is 50-50 by Jockstrap. That shit is fucking boots down. Like, it's crazy.

And then let me go to this album because there's one song on it and then no step by christophe de babylon um the album if you're into it i'm out of it is lit sauce um and then for my visual media i still have been watching a bunch of tv, but last night I saw The Northmen. And every single frame of that movie could have been screen capped. And it was gorgeous and beautiful. And I don't know if that's like the director of photography's job or if that's just because Iceland is like the most gorgeous place on earth. But yeah, the DOP is crazy crazy the cinematography on that movie was crazy like the very last scene of the movie was probably the coolest um like visual i've seen in a movie

in a very long time like i don't know also it was just so fucking weird and like there were so many moments where i was like girl what the fuck is happening right now like in the beginning i genuinely thought it was a comedy like i was like this is i think i got tricked into watching a comedy because they were like burping and farting and like the fart was like mixed so poorly it was so fucking weird um you can't put a fort in a serious movie because it's not no and in like in the context that it was in i was like oh like this is like they're they're shitting on like they're joking like they wanted us to believe that this is a serious movie and then you go into it and it's not but like fully it became they trapped kids into a barn and burned it down and i was like oh like

this is a real movie and you still laughed really hard yeah no i was laughing the whole time you actually didn't get to finish the movie because they kicked him out. Yeah, I was laughing at the peak. It was crazy. But yeah, that's my media. My media is Waiting by the Carousel by Robin Guthrie. Blue Sky Didn't Clear, Slow Dive. And then Only If by Steve Lacey. And Playground. I've been listening to that whole album um it's either that or like ambient music and then also white noise by akira yamayoko yamayoka i can't say that

name um and then i've been watching uh a girl from plainville. And I really like it. Because again, I'm just in my true crime era. Like I was going to watch a movie and I was like, you know what I should do instead is binge watch this whole thing. And I got, I really wanted to watch, what? I really wanted to watch the

Chip and Dale movie, but I didn't want to watch it alone. You didn't watch it? No, because I was like, I want to get high as bones and watch this with my friends i don't want to be like cracking up at chip and dale alone in my room right now wow that sounds a little lit no it sounds like it'd be hella funny to like sit in the room with the crew and like we could have sleepover yeah and do it in your room bringing the air mattresses i'm down yeah when you said you sleep oh that's so cute what happened to us we all got busy um ew

I hate it so much okay thank you guys so much for watching that's the episode thank you so much

thank you until next time yeah uh while you're waiting go watch a few more of our episodes. Bye.