Emergency Intercom - Drew Has Never Felt The Meaning Of True Affection

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Drew and Enya got recognized when they were naked, they go over rules for their daughters and Enya teaches Drew what the concept of love is This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/intercom today to get 10% off your first month. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared, no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S s25 ultra now at samsung.com Welcome back to Emergency Intercom.

Welcome to this episode. Are we recording? Are we? Oh. Okay, just making sure. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom, guys. Oh, cool. I have a pee drip on my pants. There's no way that's actually pee.

It's just my penis goes down that low that it just drips down my thigh. It goes to your mid-thigh? Yeah. That seems like a medical like issue. It is. Every time I get an erection, the blood from my brain goes to my penis. This is the second time we start an episode talking about your wiener. We did last week.

It's a huge topic of conversation. It's a huge deal. It's a huge ordeal. I didn't want to be wearing my fucking glasses. I'm tired of wearing my glasses i need to get lasik eye surgery but i know with my luck i'd be the first hot girl to go blind via asic i for real like when i was asic i'm at lasik i for real thought i was gonna go blind i mean i literally did go blind halfway through my lasik eye surgery like i'm not joking and he didn't tell me like they do like they shot late or okay so this is how it went they like cut the flap of my eye open and then they like peeled it back and then they fire like

lasers into your eye and before the lasers like he peeled my flip or my like layer back and on one of the eyes and he was just doing one at one eye at a time and uh i like completely lost all my vision and he didn't say anything just wait and he didn't say anything and i was like oh fuck like i'm blind like i'm literally blind and i was having like a panic attack internally and i was like they fucked up they shot the wrong yeah they gave me like um like a form of xanax i mean even through that you were able to conjure up the bravery to be fearful i was like oh my fucking god like i'm blind in my fucking right eye like i can't see anything i'm fucked over this is fucked and then like 30 seconds of me panicking like being completely blind he was like oh by the way i forgot to tell you but like you'll literally

experience like blindness right now and i was like oh thank god what was that like uh it was fucked up it was literally terrifying like literally it it's it's indescribable but like i could see like like uh like almost like electricity in my eye like i could see like the veins in the back of my eye when the lasers were firing in i could also smell like my eye burning yeah because what is lasik are they basically burning your eye so that it has to reconstruct itself i literally have no idea i think they shoot lasers into your eyes to like do something to like the cornea or some shit like melt it back or like the back of your eyeball like your optic nerve like all those little lenses and shit they're melting or some shit like melt it back or like the back of your eyeball like your optic nerve like all those little lenses and shit they're melting or some shit literally making all because i'm a

genius that makes sense to me it's like it's like when you have um like a scar and you go and get scar removal isn't part of that literally like re fracturing the skin so that it can like heal over i have no idea yeah i think so yeah like that's something that's done to like bodies a lot is like literally harming it so that your body can like regenerate yeah i think with like acne scars they shoot it with lasers and then it promotes collagen production or something so that's probably what happens to your eye and like i see that's the thing about me is like if the world started over and I was put at the forefront of it, we'd honestly probably still be here. Oh, yeah.

Maybe set back way more, though. No, we might be further with less damage to the earth because I would be leading with empathy. Oh. Can you guys imagine where we'd be if Hillary Clinton won in 2016? Just how much better every- You're going to make me cry. Are you going to cry because you hate women no because i love women what i've never said i hated women no play the clip i hate women yeah you've said it a lot okay we actually have it on video like an astonishing you might actually wait we have to call guinness because drew might be the person

who has said he has the most hatred his claimed his hatred for women the most on the internet and you're up against some pretty prominent figures in that category oh the amount in which men publicly get on the internet to hate women is actually astonishing yeah fuck men though I hate men. I don't give a fuck. And it just doesn't, it's not, it doesn't go both ways. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Right. Right. Right. I left an Erewhon smoothie in my bag, and this morning it fucking exploded in my room. It fermented literally overnight. Within 12 hours. I thought it was a Whole Foods smoothie. No, no, no, no. I didn't know you got a smoothie from Erewhon. I thought it was a whole food smoothie.

No, no, no, no. I didn't know you got a smoothie from- I got the Mac-a-wan. Oh, did you open it? No, I just forgot it in my gym bag. And then this morning, I thought Azul was playing with something. I was like- I kept hitting the bed to make her stop.

And then I was like, what the fuck is that? And I got up and i when i finally got out of bed i heard my bag literally hiss at me and i was like bitch did i bring a fucking animal in the house but it was my air one smoothie actually about to fucking explode and shoot huh you shop at air one no i think things like that are just overpriced and like honestly like played out and like very embarrassing i don't claim you don't claim i don't lay claim i do and like at this point it is embarrassing and i'm sorry but like i do their food is yum their pre-made food is just lit like so good you can't attack me because i have decision anxiety

because my own internal issues it's just so easy you just get to go and you get to so don't fucking question what i get the same food you get every single time and you know it's gonna taste the same and it's gonna be good and it's also kind of healthy and it's literally like good places um so i'm just like it's easy simple and yummers it's literally like mcdonald's where we're talking about it on the podcast that if we found that mcdonald's chicken was fake like how would you react like if you found out it was like not real i would be so fucking happy i wouldn't care i would be like oh good i'm not killing animals and i'm getting like kind of nutrition like and i'm getting my microplastics yes i argue with someone because they were like i like mcdonald's in europe more because like the chicken is real no bitch i don't fucking want that like i literally don't want

tendons and real fat in my chicken nuggets from mcdonald's i want to eat that shit and it melts in your barbecue sauce and french fries in my mouth that it's just waiting for coca-cola to be drizzled literally i want it to melt in my mouth because it's literally all fillers. Yeah. And it turns into like a puddle of like fake chicken flavor. And yeah, chewy gum. Like I want my McDonald's to taste like chicken flavor gum. And that's what it tastes like here. And I love it. Like everything else is valid.

Like the dairy in Europe being like lit. True, true, true. The gluten being less or whatever. you didn't respond to my butter tiktok that i sent you there's this french butter going around that's super fucking going around it's literally making it around it's making its rounds and i was like we need to go get it because it's very rarely sold in america and there's a shop called frinches selling this expensive ass butter sorry that has like a bunch of different flavors and okay see it lost me because it was like fucking yuzu lemon butter sounds the launches hell no you ever had shrimp yes shrimp butter and lemon oh no what you're missing out is yuzu like what isn't yuzu like

a really sweet fruit no it's like like kind of citrusy it's like a lemon i can't i can't i don't want sweet butter it's not sweet like in my head all of those butter sounded sweet it was like the raspberry one oh that was the one that really threw me i'm like raspberry butter bitch are you butter sounds yummers see yeah that sounds lit as fuck but that's because seaweed is like savory but raspberry butter bitch i guess i'm tripping right now because it's like it's like butter and jam yeah so like it maybe it's not that deep but like for some reason it sounds so gross you know what i'm thinking of is last time i really had butter it's at peak of me having a sore throat and i ate a piece of toast with butter on it and the butter

hit the back of my throat and i'm i was like this human shouldn't be eating this because the way that just hit the back of my throat and the way it felt was not okay like it actually felt like i was doing something genuinely unhealthy to my body um but so then i just covered it in jam and kept going but there you go there you go yeah well um we went to the gym like i work out like i go to the gym three to four times a week like maybe five times i'm feeling good i'm just like i work out i go to the gym like it's it's just a part of my routine is this the story is that the point of what you're saying it's just a part of my routine now well at this gym there was this guy that i felt like he knew who i was because he kept like looking at me like over and over again like big-headed um and i was like oh it's like a

sixth sense like you know what you know and you know and i just like had a feeling and and i know when you don't like me and you're around me and you know who i am from the internet and i i that's another sense it's like you can feel it i can feel it off of you and now it's just embarrassing because you don't like me for some weird reason but i'm next to you yeah and i'm about to be so nice that you're gonna feel like a little idiot when you get home so on top of that so i had this i had a feeling that this guy knew who i was and i um was like fuck dude i like i really don't want this person to see me naked in the locker room whatever blah blah blah so i had my little conniption fit and i waited until he went into the locker room and ironically enough dalton had gone into the locker room, whatever, blah, blah, blah. So I had my little conniption fit and I waited until he went into the locker room.

And ironically enough, Dalton had gone into the locker room at the same time because Dalton was there. Dalton is our friend through and through. Who is literally like one of the most sexy hot people on this planet. His body is actually built by the Greek gods. Dalton's body goes crazy. He's gorgeous.

Everyone knows that. He's literally gorgeous. And basically what happened was dalton was in the sauna and this dude also to preface you have to be butt naked nasty in the fucking sauna yeah yeah yeah so keep that in mind for this story so this dude who i thought knew who i was went up to my buddy dalton who he didn't know that i knew and was like you're you host that podcast like you're you're drew phillips right naked. And was like, you host that podcast. You're Drew Phillips, right?

And Dalton was like, what? What the fuck? And he was like, oh, I just... The hair and I just saw you were... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is weird. I'm sorry I made this weird. And then they moved on with their day.

Moral of this story is that I'm sexy fucking hot. And I got mistaken for a very sexy person with a sexy body because maybe we throw a photo up but i don't want to get demonetized because like a photo of that man shirtless it's pretty oh i thought you were gonna you meant like a photo of him naked i was like yeah you can't put a naked photo i thought you were saying let's throw a photo of drew's body and get demonetized because it's terrifying. Let's switch the podcast over to Rumble so we can post naked pictures of Dalton. What's up, Spotify? This is Javi.

I remember this one time we were on tour. We didn't have any guitar picks and we didn't have time to go to the store. So we placed an order on Prime and it got there the next day ready for the show. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. What I will say, the moral of that story is, please, if you recognize anybody, not even just us, if you ever recognize anybody in a spa setting where the person is butt naked nasty,

do not go up to them. Because that was my first thought, is like the intense bravery and like being in a different planet of going up to some if someone came up to me butt naked and like i like i can feel like i've been in the locker room with like girls my age and like like drew said like sometimes it's just a sixth sense and i'm like oh this person like maybe doesn't know me but like they're looking at me in a way that i'm like they've probably seen me around like on the internet

if one of those people then proceeded to go up to me while I'm also I'm in the sauna so I'm like dripping sweat naked and was like oh my god I love what you do and my fucking tits are out we're fighting now we're gonna have sexy sauna wrestling match

see for me it's not that big of a deal like just come up to me in the locker room. Yeah, when I said that, I got defensive over Drew. Drew was like, I don't care. And I was like, but I do. But I do. No, no, it doesn't bother me that much. But there is part of me that's like, no, like, people cannot be gossiping about my body on the internet.

Like, absolutely not. I don't know if I would care if anybody saw me naked because like realistically i'm not i've never been somebody who like even in high school when you had to like change like i wasn't like going into the bathrooms i was just like whatever like i'm gonna get butt naked nasty um but like for some reason breaking that wall of saying it is like too far like i don't care if somebody knows me and sees me naked and like continues to talk to me like casually, but like, please,

while we are both naked, don't break that barrier. Like once we're fully clothed and we're walking out, like if you decide to be like, Oh, by the way, like I love the podcast. I'd be like,

Oh, that's kind of crazy. Cause we just spoke, but naked nasty for like 20 minutes, but like, don't while I'm naked nasty for like 20 minutes but like don't while i'm naked be like oh also i see you on the internet everywhere i think it's also different for girls because like my tits are literally like less than a foot away yeah i'm covered up in a towel as well yeah i'm not ass naked wait do you get butt naked in the sauna or do you keep a towel

on i like keep a towel on i literally go in there lay my towel down and sit with my legs like this like literally like in the sauna and all the other girls like i've been noticing because for a long time in the sauna there was never anybody else but recently because we've been going later there have been people in the sauna and i'm like oh girls are going in like fully wrapped up yeah and then it's like me and one other brave soul who's like butt naked nasty like laying on her back with her fucking legs up on the wall that's crazy yeah like i guess we're the like it's a very different vibe in the men's i feel like everybody's covered up um but the reason i was like oh my fucking god

is this note that i have taken down and i i actually have zero idea what this is supposed to fucking mean and like y'all tell me if like y'all can like understand what i'm getting out here but i really really have zero clue what this is inya is an avenger avenger kaya is a model and i'm doja cat's man i swear to god i have that written down. Like literally what the fuck does that mean? Is that a dream you had? Maybe. I am a model though. Okay. Yeah.

I don't know if you guys saw that. We actually need to talk about that. We need to talk about this. So I think we've talked about, no, I don't think we've ever talked about the nightmare trip or have we? I think we alluded to it, but it was so traumatizing at the time we were like no it was for real the gnarliest travel experience of my life that it almost made me never want to fly again we went to like mexico city for a little bit um and like it was like near the end

of covid like we there weren't many covid restrictions anymore and um we were like aware of that like you didn't need a covet test to fly in america you didn't need one blah blah blah blah to get into mexico city but what we failed to realize is that you needed one to get back into america from mexico city but all of us we were like oh like we actually don't need a test like uh kai asked like a gay agent the gay agent was like oh no like you're good like i think it was straight actually um oh my god oh my god um but we um but don't ever fucking interrupt i got us i got us to the airport like four hours early because i was convinced we needed a test like elisa was convinced that we needed to test but this gate agent was like no you don't need a test so then we were was like, no, you don't need a test.

So then we were like, okay, fine. I guess we don't need a test. And we just kind of loitered around. Like we got through their version of TSA. I think we showed up like four hours early and fell asleep. Yeah, that's what I was just saying. And then they like transferred it to another gate and we like went over there and we were on time and everything was fine.

Yeah. another gate and we like went over there and we were on time and everything was fine yeah and it like we just loitered around like waited our four hours and then we went to our gate and we were our we were sitting at a different gate that we were supposed to be at but they changed the gate like literally last minute and none of us got a notification they didn't announce it we didn't see it until we looked at our phone and we were like oh my god we're at the wrong gate and we had like five minutes to run across the entire mexico city airport to get to our gate and we got there on time we were like oh my god thank god we made it like i cannot believe we made it like we thought that was the end of it we were like dude like we made this gate we were like literally some of the last people in line to get to this gate and we pull up and they're asking for covid tests and we're like oh we're fine we have like we brought our

own little covid tests we took them like they're not digital but they're like the they're analog covid tests and we show that to the gate agent and she's like this doesn't work like y'all can't do this like y'all have to go get a code a real covid test that has a digital code. And we're like, what? Like, that doesn't make sense. But whatever. Elisa had her digital code. She got on the plane, which in the moment I was pissed about it. I was like, no, like, this ship is sinking. Come down with us.

But then I realized, I was like, actually, you know what? Like, get on that fucking plane because I would have done the same thing. Also, she, like, told them. She was like, dude, no, that guy told you the wrong information she was like i looked this up you need to have a she literally that was the funny thing and when y'all tell this i just i'm like this is so crazy because literally like we all looked it up when you like were checking in for your flight i misled us i don't blame kai though i blame all of you because all of you are like kind of crazy for just like going in with it and being like, all right, that sounds right. When we all looked it up.

I fought tooth and nail. I argued. I was like, no, we have to get a COVID test. I think it was more so my fault. For like three days. We were there for three days. All three days. She wouldn't stop talking about it.

Alisa would not stop talking about that she was like i have one with the qr code i could give you guys my one that like doesn't but you need a qr code because you need a digital you need a digital and she she kept being like i'm gonna wait till like right before we go to the airport because it has to be within this time frame and you need a digital and like would not literally the night before at dinner it's like all that was spoken about yeah but anyways we get to the gate and she's like no you can't but there's a covid testing spot in the airport so we literally yeah yeah you have to go out of security again yeah it's i'm not joking it's like a

mile and a half run and we sprinted all the way there me jester and kai we get there we're like oh fuck like we kind of made there we're like oh fuck like we kind of made it we're like making good time we get our covid test this is where kai's campaign model this is where that comes in they took us into like these individual cubicles to do the test and i didn't see a camera in there but the woman that gave me the test was like she had a mask she had a shield over the mask and i think i'm pretty sure that she had blonde curly hair no she no there were cameras in jester's room oh they were taking pictures of jester too yeah that's what jester was saying oh i didn't even know that yeah so like it's legitimately you but this is the photo um they i got dm i think yesterday i woke up to a DM and it was like, oh, cool.

I didn't know you modeled. And it's a photo of me with like. Oh my God, your first big campaign. Yeah. It's a photo of me with a thing like shoved up my nose. It's like, I was like, a lot of white guys look like me, but I do think that's me. Like. Yeah, no, it's a hundred percent Kai.

And it's like in one of those little rooms, like it was, it's a hundred percent kai and it's like in one of those little rooms like it was it's a hundred percent like without fail when we were in like the biggest rush of our life getting our covid test but anyways we got our covid test sprinted all the way back and um we were we still made the line like there were people walking onto the airplane in front of us and like we were like oh thank god like we made it like i cannot Like we made it. Like, I cannot believe we made it. We were kind of like celebrating, but we were also like, let's get on a plane before we celebrate. And we're literally like the last people to pull up.

And we were like, oh, we got our tests. Like, look. And like, we're waiting in line, refreshing because the tests take like 10 minutes to like, um, like show up a negative or a positive. We didn't know if we were negative or positive. We show up. We like are refreshing in line't know if we were negative or positive we show up we like are refreshing in line we're like please please please like and then right not get your test results in time to like get on well we got to the front and we were like oh we took our test

it's waiting like we promised like it'll be like one more minute two more minutes we can see people like walking onto the plane like we can still see people like yeah going down the tunnel yeah exactly and then like she's like no i can't do that and then right as we're saying like we can still see people like going down the tunnel yeah exactly and then like she's like no i can't do that and then right as we're saying like we're refreshing we're like showing and we're like look like they're negative like we're negative like let us on please please please and she's just like no like you're not getting on this fucking plane like you're literally not and we're like dude there's people walking on right now so we didn't get on the fucking plane because we didn't get our covid test and it's a way longer nightmare

of a story like it keeps fucking going and going and more bad shit keeps happening like everything that you can think goes wrong like it literally all that's just not true because i would be like oh my god did the plane crash no we were fully expecting it to. We were ready. I was ready for it to go down. Yeah, but like, I don't think we're prepared. We were in that airport for another eight hours. Yeah, waiting for flights. Like, it was so fucking hard. And meanwhile, me,

I was still in Mexico City having the time of my life. Met up with a few friends who came into the city. Beautiful. It was a bunch of Miami friends, too. It was a beautiful moment. I don't think.

And then I was left with everybody who spoke Spanish. So we were like. It was a dream for me. Dream. I will say the workers in the airport. First of all, youngest workers in an airport ever because they were all around my age. I got wrong directions for the first. Thank God I got there early, too, because I got sent to like five different spots in that airport before I even got through my gate. Yeah.

It was just a nightmare of a trip all around. It was beautiful and amazing. but like it was just crazy. Crazy boots. Crazy, crazy boots. I have hot takes about people who were like obsessed with Mexico City. But this isn't the space for it. What do you mean? I'm just saying when I went to Mexico City, I was like, this is gorgeous.

I love this. But part of it that I love is because it feels very familiar because my family is from Central America. So I'm just feeling very like, oh, I know this vibe. And then I think there are a lot of people who go there like, this place is insane. What's happening? It's so cheap. And I'm like, hmm. Oh, did you write down your rules for your daughter that's what i was

just about to ask you and bring up i literally still don't know if i did this right like at all i don't know so there's this trend going around and it's like rules for your daughter i didn't screenshot it i just wrote like three rules of things that kind of sounded right for me so it's like basically you're supposed to be like okay so are you gonna give your daughter a curfew like are you gonna find an example and we'llfew? Like, are you going to like... Find an example and we'll put it on. We don't have to find it now, but like... Maybe I show it to you, though, so that you like fully understand.

Fully understand. Hey! Hey! Oh my God, my watch history. I turned it on like two days ago and how is it like this intense like i watch this is all from like today you know what i find crazy what is that women can't come like they can't have orgasms stop it because that's not true why do you actually think that or are you just saying that?

I'll believe it when I see it, you know? Yeah, literally. Like, I'm just trying to, like, I'm just trying to, like, figure out, like. I'm trying to figure out if you're joking because there's actually no way that you think women are incapable of having an orgasm. Well, every woman I've been with has just not. Have you ever thought, like, that's more of, like, something you've done like a problem like you're like making or no because i but also like i haven't i have never seen that happen i mean that makes a lot of sense so we'll get back to you there's two men in the room telling you that women can't come and you're just but i am a girl and i have a wing

bot and let me tell you, things can get done. I can turn the fuck up. Things can get done in a very short amount of time. I can turn up. I think there was a Mythbusters episode about women coming and they busted it. Really? They busted it, yeah.

Damn. What? Yeah. Why'd you say that like that? Do you want to apologize, Inya, for saying women can come? Yeah, honestly honestly an apology to all men we just said the c word 10 times this sucks because it's just like the most

not that this girl's tiktok sucks but like i mean 200 likes i don't know how good it's gonna be but this is basically it like i actually don't want to play this because one of the things is sex and sexuality and i don't want to hear this random person's take on that but it's like rules for my daughter like your idea on curfew drinking smoking like cursing like are you gonna allow your daughter to curse like all this shit so here's some of mine rules for my daughter only have sex with cool people but you have to have a lot of it or i will not be letting you come home okay yeah this kind of yeah this kind of starts at age like honestly 15 and if by 15 you're not like boning like there's a problem my daughter's getting her

ass kicked um i feel like i have to clarify that that's a joke. Like, I hate that I have to clarify that. Somebody was like, that's, like, the thing that makes all these so interesting is because you're literally talking about, like, what you're going to allow your, like, child to do. And everybody, when they're talking about, like, obviously my kids are going to have sex. Like, I'll, like, if they, like, have sex by age 13, like, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, they go on these talks about like how they're gonna deal with it and i'm like that is terrifying to even i guess you do have to think about yeah you do have to like contemplate because like it's not it's not like the most common but it's like not super uncommon okay curfew you can only use your window and your room will be on the

top floor so like basically for me like i don't care what time you come home i don't care who you come home with like that's actually not my fucking business i'm gonna take parenting like i'm your friend like i'm your best friend like you can drink you can smoke yeah like i'll make you mixed drinks um i'll teach you how to make a really good cocktail so you don't have to spend 15 on a really expensive cocktail um sleepovers go to as many sleepovers as possible so me and your dad can have lots of sex okay um i just don't want my kids to be home ever like i like do you feel that why do i relate to that yeah like i mean ever since we had our kid taken away my life has gotten exponentially yeah that's what i'm saying because like i know people are like well kids don't stop you from like having a fun life they just add to that fun but i couldn't feel like it was

more opposite like i literally felt like i used to have the most fun ever and then when i had a kid and i had to like change its diaper and stuff i lost like all respect for myself and i didn't keep up it was it was so bad yeah i lost a huge part of me and i was just like also like once like our daughter hit like 15 and then she had friends and I saw that she was cool I was like honestly I don't want anything to do with you because like I wasn't that cool when I was a kid so like now I fucking hate you and I actually hope you get kidnapped I hate that our fake jokes are literally the same no curfew because my daughter isn't out and lit I don't want it uh she will be a party girl and i'm

gonna be serving me alcohol that's all literally all i wrote down it's crazy how there are parents who are literally like bring everyone over and we can drink at my house i'm like those are there were there were several parents like yeah texas like serving me mixed drinks like growing up and i'm not gonna lie it was fucking lit like it was so fun and like also we would like be like 17 18 maybe partying with like these grown-ass people and like it's kind of cute letting them like relive their like glory days but also they are serving children drinks yeah um so it's also a little weird i feel like so many households like have that idea. But like, dude, what's crazy and scary is like one, like watching everybody's like takes on parenting when like we're all like in our early 20s. And so much of that is subject to change.

And I was like going down a rabbit hole of like watching them and looking at the comments. And like this girl had one where she was like she let her daughter do everything. But she would she was like the one thing I don't want is like my daughter to ever sleep over at someone else's house and people were like i agree with you on everything but like the sleepover thing like some of my favorite memories are when i got to sleep over at my friend's house but what's so crazy is like growing up as a daughter like that's such a thing like is it really like well you can't go to so-and-so's house because like i don't know their parents and i don't know their dad. And like that kind of like rhetoric, which is so insane to think growing up,

like the whole rhetoric and idea of like, well, like you're literally drilled from like age eight to be like, men are dangerous. And if I'm not around you while you're around another man, I don't trust it. And like, that's so crazy.

And then like, yeah, that that's a whole other topic but just like put put pants on like huh well british people aren't real oh what makes you say that i just know it are those technically your ancestors british people no we just formed white people just formed one day oh damn yeah damn damn are you gonna elaborate on you saying british people aren't real or like was that it are you saying that because of the tiktok i feel like you the way it sounded no i i just like uh i where

that thought came from is i was like oh like i guess it's not that weird to serve an 18 year old a drink because like in england like london whatever that fucking place is called like their parents are literally yeah the like their parents are. Yeah, the UK. Their parents are literally allowed to like give them drinks and they like drink at the dinner table with their parents. Like if you're 15 and your parents are like, oh, yeah, I'm going to order a glass of wine for my 15 year old child.

Like the restaurants are like legally obliged to. And so I'm just like, is it really that weird? I mean, like I don't I don't know that like I don't know that it's that weird because I guess like to a certain extent in my head I'm like oh I guess maybe that's like teaching some sort of self-control but I feel like that's like the battle you face when you're a parent is like once you get there having to like go back and forth with the idea of like okay well like do i basically enable the possibility of my kid taking it too far or do i just get hands off with it and pray that they're able to make

like good decisions for themselves i'm gonna be a hands-off parent hands off there's like three words for it's like literally like authoritarian like diplomatic or something and then like something else like there's like literally then like something else like there's like literally like three ways to like there's three different forms of like parenthood and then one's like super like do whatever you want one super strict and then one's i'm gonna give them the option to do whatever they want but explain the consequences to every option yeah be like you can make this choice you have free will but these are the consequences that come with it i have a fear that i'm going to be like a really anxiety-driven obnoxious mother

who like my kids will fucking the way you are with azul like yeah it's gonna happen yeah you're not gonna let them you're gonna trap them inside i mean even with my siblings like i get told this all the time by like friends and people who've watched me interact with my siblings on like long-term basis like i am really obnoxious and i think like i overcompensate for like the way maybe i wanted to be like handled as a child or how i think i wanted to be handled can you hear that i think it's fine um or how i like thought the camera's not fucking recording you're so fucking annoying bitch um how i thought i wanted to be handled so like literally i'll be sitting with my 13 and 11 year old sibling and like they're silent i'm like are you okay like are you okay like what are you thinking like gee are you comfortable here like is this wrong like whatever and then like literally because i have such a big age gap with

them sometimes i take on like more of like a parental role than i need i've definitely seen that um where like i think it's so normal for siblings to fucking argue and like get into fights and arguments but if my little siblings are annoying the fuck out of me and i yell at them i immediately get into like oh my god like i feel so bad like that was like i just yelled at them in public like that must be so traumatizing and embarrassment embarrassing and now they're like having this grudge against me because i like overstepped them and they feel dehumanized and disrespected and literally i'm sitting here like in a park being like hey like i'm so sorry for raising my voice at you that was like so like incorrect of me like i just like i felt really

like frustrated with the way you were acting with me and i'm like sitting here like over analyzing an emotional interaction i had with like a 13 year old who couldn't give a fuck and is like leave me the fuck alone like move away from me until i figure it out on my own but i'm sitting here being like no like what about it hurt your feelings like please let me know like i would love to know like it's good for you to communicate and my siblings are like bitch i have an iphone i don't need to communicate yeah like i'm fine i'm gonna just lose myself and yeah for what it's worth i think you're really good with drew he's like no how old are you now drew uh? 12. No, no. Drew is 24 years old.

Almost 25. No, no. I feel like you've said that you were... I thought he said 16 before, but I guess he's 12. Oh, is it happening that fast? Remember, we spoke about this. You have like Benjamin Button's disease. Oh, right.

Oh, I'm really sorry. But yeah, you're really good with him. Mama. Do you get weaker as you get younger? Mama, I. Oh. I'm really sorry. But yeah, you're really good with him. Mama. Do you get weaker as you get younger? Mama, I need baba. Yeah, I am going to be a really annoying mom. Did the woman in Benjamin Button smash? I've never seen that movie.

I've only seen screen grabs. But you're disgusting for even asking that. I'm literally just wondering if that was written in the movie. You know they had to get sex in there. Why would someone make a movie with no sex in there like what why would someone make a movie with no sex in it that's what i'm talking about that's literally what i'm talking about a movie with no sex where's the boobs and the media is value we need boobs how do you even make how does the plot go like okay let's see okay let's take the plot of a movie but you take out the man okay so girl is like

living the end like yeah like what else is supposed to happen come in where do the boobs come in girl is living sees man she likes man and her fall in love have baby the end but i just don't like how are you supposed to get to the end there could be movies about other things besides sex like what oh yeah like you can't name one paris is burning you know that's the first one that's at the top of your catalog yeah period um okay why period oh yesterday me and drew have been like talking to each other in the house like i'll be like no we haven't we haven't been talking i'm like babe it's time to go to the gym wait what were you saying yesterday you're like okay let's go serve like i literally have no idea what you're referencing half the shit i say

don't even know last night when i was talking to drew about us going to the gym i was like babe like babe it's time to go to the gym and you're like okay per babe oh yeah yeah i was like babe why do you talk like that you talk like a bunch of my like like my gay friends like it's so funny how that just rubbed off on you. Like it rubbed off on you. Purr. Sis, let's go to the gym sis. And I just love thinking about like a hella like diluted couple where the girl just like cannot see. See the red flag. Remember when we were walking from the store holding hands and I was like, really? Like, I don't understand hand holding.

Like, I get that it feels good. It was really sad. I was like, what are we talking about? I get it feels good for people, but like, literally, why? Like, what is that? I mean, trying to explain to Drew what like a sweet, like a hand holding, like between a couple is. Yeah, like this is how you hug your partner. No, I was like, no, I was like was like okay because we were holding hands walking down the sidewalk and he was like what about this is like romantic or like

like people why do people do it to feel good and i was like i literally was stunned by that question because what a fucking weird ass question i was like i was like um i don't know like it's just like a means of affection and then me trying to show to show him how if you're holding hands with someone you're seeing, you'll rub your finger. It was all a ploy to get you to hold my hand again. I've seen a lot of fucked up shit on this podcast, but that is the saddest moment I've ever experienced. And me trying to explain to him, I was like, oh, because walking like this is harder and

whatever. And he's like, OK. He's like, I guess it feels natural, but I just don't understand how it's supposed to feel. It feels like the hands were designed to be held like that. But also like we are not like in love. So like, of course, it's not going to feel like this like grand like gesture from me because like we're literally walking down the street being like, do you think people see us and think we're dating? Like when you hold like a partner's hand like do you feel like electricity not electricity like it's not like or like you know what i mean like it's like an affirmation thing it's like

if i'm just walking this person like wants my like physical affection so bad that they're they're like they're feeding for it even within like a handhold like i'm seeing you and like i don't know if i could ever feel it's like a google engineer telling the neural net like what i love and i'm like machine learning like i don't know it just doesn't make sense but when i'm doing s and i get my hands held, I'm like, this shit feels good. Well, I know and I'm trying to imagine in what ways your hands would be held. Passionately. Yeah, and I know in what ways, but that's also different. That's a really different- How is that different?

Sex is love. Because I'm thinking of a hand like this. That's a really different thing. I know what you're thinking. I'm just fucking with you. Well, one day you'll feel it for now we'll just keep holding hands and hope people take yeah we were walking and we were holding hands and i was like i'm praying praying someone takes a picture of us so it can be spread as misinformation online because we were like i was like what's crazy is when we hold hands and like walk around together people think we are a couple and like we've gone on this like tangent before

but like me and drew have multiple times been like why don't more people come out to up to us while we're out and like flirt with us and it's literally because people see us and think we're a couple yeah um and if they know us from the internet they know we're a couple yeah and i was just like we were holding hands walking on the sidewalk i was like to everybody in the cars passing we just look like a couple who are leaving a store together like no one else knows that like we are like so far from like ever dating like and we're just like literally like siblings like i know that there's someone out there who's like a fan of the podcast that has a wall dedicated with like strings trying to figure out the sexuality and like what relationships are real and fake in this friend

group send the picture that's also what me and drew were talking about we were like one of these freaks watching is dead set on the idea that me and drew have fucked there are like a handful of people who are like there's no way what the fuck was that i don't know he just looked at me funny sorry have you guys actually not fucked i've definitely tapped that he said i definitely tapped, I definitely tap that. Well, I wouldn't touch you with a fucking 10-yard stick, bitch. Are you actually about to cry? Harry Styles in Don't Worry Darling.

Stop. No. No. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

No. Oh, my love to Harry Styles, but that movie was so insane i'm harry no i'm sorry but i laughed i could not stop laughing it was i watched it high as bones and it was the best thing ever it was the worst movie i've seen this year usually oh yeah um and i think i like went into it with an open mind and open heart and I was like like oh I'm gonna give this a chance I'm really gonna give this a chance and then it just never happened and like it just felt like be weird for weird sake um I will say Harry Styles like kind of did good with what he was given like yeah he's not a bad actor at all once you get past the fact that like it was hard as somebody who's seen him in media for like 12 years now to kind of get over

the hump of like that's literally harry styles like that's harry styles like are you kidding me um so it was like kind of hard to get past you're not fooling anybody we know that's yeah also like i love them having to like figure out a way to make it make sense. Them having to make it make sense that he had a fucking British accent. That was honestly my favorite part of the movie. Spoiler alert, if you haven't

seen the movie, close your ears for like three seconds. But basically, when he's... Wait, wait, wait. Okay, yeah, I remember. What? I was just gonna say it. Never mind. Just keep going. When he's wait okay yeah i don't know what i was gonna say no man just keep going um when he's going into the thing or whatever it's like you you pick the attributes you want and they had him his character pick being british yeah which is so fucking funny because then when you hear his american accent it's just really funny because it's like this is funny something is not sitting right with me yeah the concept like

the like concept of the movie sadly could have been something awesome it could have been like an interesting idea but the movie itself yeah the movie it's it was just so funny it was just like i love florence so it was really sad in that regard i was like oh poor girl it was just so funny it was just like i love florence so it was really sad in that regard i was like oh poor girl it was just literally like let's be like as weird as possible and do all these weird tropes and like just be strange and like just so many things just like didn't connect like i know like there were several things in that movie that like she thought like was gonna look good on screen and then they recorded it and she was like, fuck, dude, it didn't look good. It didn't it just didn't come out in the edit. And they were like praying they could like edit it together and make it something good.

But like, I don't know, it like it was gorgeous. So I gave it one and a half stars. But like and like the idea that the idea is so good. Like the idea of that movie. Yeah, the idea. That's what i'm saying the idea is like a really interesting thing that like i wish someone else wrote a screenplay for it that idea because like yeah it's pretty crazy it's crazy though because there's a 3.1 on letterbox

greta thunberg just like did not really direct really good. She's not like a good director. Like I get she's like a climate activist, but like I think she should stick to climate activism and then leave the movies to like the other people who like that's their passion. Greta Thunberg didn't make that. Really? No, literally she was credited.

What was the joke you said to josh you were like you know what would have made that movie oh like okay so this movie would have been like if if it came out like in a week that like this movie was an ai generated script and like it was just like created solely by computers based off of like information on the internet based off other movies it had watched then that would have legitimately been a masterpiece and i would be like oh my fucking god this is crazy because it felt so robotic but like if a robot was able to write that script and it'd be that decent like i would have been amazed but like it wasn't written by a robot. It was not.

It was indeed written and made by humans. Yeah. Yeah, just cough at my words. You're always just coughing at me. You're going to cough at me? I'm not coughing at you. You're going to cough at me. I literally have just been sick. You're not going to cough at me.

You're not going to do that. I'm not coughing at you. I'm so confused why you keep saying that to me. Just whatever. Are you trying to fight me over having a cough right now i'm done i'm done i'm done greta greta thunberg didn't make that movie drew i already said that i know but i just want to reiterate that because because you think a man saying it changes the the way no no not at all seriously guys uh greta thunberg made ladybird though what yeah yeah i, Kai? Greta Thunberg made Lady Bird, though.

What? Yeah. Yeah, I just Googled Greta Thunberg and she comes up on Google. No, that doesn't mean anything. Like, she's obviously... No, because she's like an identifiable public figure. Right, yeah. That doesn't mean she made a movie.

But she has a list of famous quotes. I shouldn't be up famous quotes i shouldn't be up here i shouldn't be up here our house is on fire um fuck i was gonna say wait did you know greta thunberg is actually bjork but from the past wait do y'all know that by the time this comes out um oh i have been in paris for like the past week achieving her fucking dreams and doing everything she's been wanting to do it's finally coming to fruition so y'all go out there and you make your edits yeah yeah literally you go out there and you make your compilation literally i'm so stoked for you like literally so proud of you it's like awesome to see you achieve your dreams thank you why am

i like so terrified of the people who like are die hard for harry who are gonna like actually like come for my blood well no we only had nothing but nice things to say to harry like harry hot as fucking a it's so fucked up that is an attractive motherfucker that i will say but let's keep that under wraps because when i meet him i am going to act like i don't know who he is oh you're harold harold styles harold style is that your real last name well style icon is that accent of yours real henry where are you from i'm gonna say where are you from oh i see i could i thought that was like um an american accent i couldn't tell i can't really tell i do a lot of traveling so i get i get the i just don't know i just don't know where i am i almost literally why do british people sound like that like like obviously everybody has accents but like why do they sound like that if it's just

english like i don't understand and it's also like this is america like speak english no drew they don't live here we just see it on our ip, but they don't, like, live here. Oh, so now you're telling me the internet reaches the globe. Like, what? Like, no, it's obviously just from LA. Like, what? Wait, do you actually think that? Yes.

No, so the internet, like, anybody from all over the world can use it and get in contact with you. Okay, that may be the funniest thing you've ever said. Maybe the funniest thing you've ever said to me. I should have ate my granola and yogurt before this i'm crashing like crazy i wonder if to um like people from the uk our accents sound as fucking crazy as theirs do but there's actually no way i don't. There is literally no way. Oh, yeah. My name's Harry Styles. That's not how he sounds. My name's Harry Styles. Is it true that motherfucker's gonna be in Marvel movies?

Like, what universe are we living in? The MCU, baby. The fucking witches are upstairs brewing their potions. My name is Harry Styles. he's literally gonna be in he's gonna be in marvel movies one day you're gonna have to replace me with a dead body no one day i'm just gonna replace you with a real other functioning human, bitch. And it's going to be soon.

Well, should we tap into some media? Yeah. Yeah. I want to read this note. Enya, you're beautiful. And I love you just the way you are. I didn't ask you to say any of that shit. And you don't have to change yourself for me.

I'm going to take your skin, cut some of it off, dehydrate it, and then apply adhesive to the back of it and use your skin as nipple pasties. I love the way you make words. Oh my god. What? Are you listening to what i just said you're gonna make me a skin suit no i'm just gonna use you as my nipple pastes i'm freaking out i'm freaking out i'm freaking out i'm freaking out i'm freaking out i'm freaking out i'm freaking out i'm freaking out my media of the week is don't worry darling you gotta go watch that unironically though you should watch it because it was like it was a blast to watch with josh i felt bad because drew was trying to like really

get into it but i went into it knowing that like i wasn't gonna really like it because i'd seen people talk about it so i was like i know this is just gonna be funny so i got high before i watched it and i literally like i had a blast like i felt like i was being sent into space i felt like i like had cameras on me or something and like people were like trying to catch me in the act like i felt that but the opposite i was like they're seeing us laugh like we were laughing out loud at like the worst parts like you weren't supposed to be laughing you're supposed to be like on the edge of your seat and like we were just like

dying laughing and I was like someone in here is gonna be like fuck these people they said eight words in that movie they were taking

three words the whole time literally though worry don't darling I'm gonna make my rebuttal it's like worry not darling

worry not it's me saving them worry not um okay I'm's me saving them worry not okay I'm gonna say for my music call me mother by RuPaul baggy by Tisa Korean and I don't want that many friends in the first place by Quinn

I don't really want that many I don't want that many fans in the first place classic song classic classic and I've been watching lord of the ring show definitely underwhelming but not like the worst thing i've ever seen but like i can't stop watching it so watch that um i've been watching still game of thrones i i'm re-watching death note um i'm on like episode four of death note and that is just

really like actually a fucking masterpiece like i love that anime so fucking much it's so fun funny lit just awesome i've been listening to certified lover boy the past like 24 hours you have actually um yeah i noticed that in the car second i dropped you off i blasted that album so crazy because i was like this album you yeah you were playing um i'm sexy and i know it or what's that one oh i'm too sexy for my shirt that one yeah i heard it playing yeah i heard it playing and i was like curious i was like damn oh just now no like um in the car i just let it go because i was like i'm was like damn oh just now no like um in the car i just let it go because i was like i'm just gonna listen to this album i'm sweating like a bastard um but

i fucking hate that song tsu is so good has anybody heard that song that song's good you you haven't heard that song i've heard tsu okay yeah you might be thinking of the actual huh doesn't he say that it's going down for real no there's no way i don't think you're somebody the only person yeah like would have heard it because you have to be like really musically intelligent to be on the level i am of like listening to music i listen to maybe you're underestimating my musical intelligence because i have heard that song and i pop my shit to it whenever i hear you know what's funny is like if I were you I would fucking lie too because it'd be really embarrassing

that you don't know that song but we can move on because like nah I just feel bad. I know the song. I know you better than you know yourself. And I know you don't know that song.

I know you know the song. But yeah that's literally it for my media. Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you loves. Thank you loves. I'm kind of losing my mind.

I didn't eat before. I had a bite of an old burrito from Chipotle. They put, we're going to find out in a few years that they put an essential oil for red onion in everything they make because it stains. Like the concentration, like the concentrate of an onion. Yeah, like they literally like juice red onions and drizzle it in everything. It's crazy. Because it stains like a bastard.

It's crazy. You can't have Chipotle like after 8 p.m. because you will go to sleep stinking. You know, yesterday when I had my Chipotle bowl, that was the first time I had like steak from like a place like chipotle in a very long time and the steak did not taste like animal shit because it doesn't really like steak i don't i don't i can eat it if it's put in front of me and i will eat it but like i'm not making that choice to eat steak i don't know i just it's just not for me i used to be like fuck red meat um but then i had like a really good steak at a restaurant recently and i was like oh you just had really good steak one time what did you say fine i said my penis all right we'll see what guys next week.