Emergency Intercom - Drewmoji coming soon

Episode Date: February 23, 2024

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Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Welcome back to this episode. I've discovered the dusty divot. Is dusty divot somewhere in Fortnite?

That's an old Fortnite. Yeah. This is the real dusty divot. Ew, dude. It's like disgusting. It kind of looks like it's molding, but it's because you spilt something on there and now it's just turned black. No, it's from me putting my foot here in the bottom of my shoe.

It's like gunk from the outside world. I'm really curious if any of the radioactive chemicals that have been seeping through your clothes are going to come back and haunt you later on in life. Wait, why do I have radioactive chemicals? Because this is like, you shouldn't be touching this. Oh, carcinogenic. Oh, okay, you fucking bitch. No, I'm like literally a super spreader

of like carcinogens through my like- Every time you hug someone, you're passing on like carcinogens because you also don't wash your clothes. No, I literally don't. I don't think i've washed this in like three months you're just sustainable you don't wash your bed sheets you don't wash your clothes i wash my bed sheets you wash your bed sheets like maybe every like three months

i've washed these twice have you actually yes i haven't seen it oh you're Are you winking at me? That's a crazy vibe. Okay, so I was bringing this up, but then I was like, no. But this has been giving me so much anxiety at night. It's been freaking me the fuck out. It's the Baja Blast Pie from Taco Bell. I can't sleep at night thinking about it. Did you see that stuff, Kai? Their Apple event?

It's like the blue radioactive one. Yeah. They're also doing cinnamon twists with the Baja Blast flakes on it, which is so fucking nasty. But I guess that's like every cereal we grew up eating is just like fake corn with sugar. It's corn. Ew, dude. You're so disgusting. Also, everybody slept on my joke last week when i said oh gay

corn like they're taking corn from us like nobody nobody clipped it nobody cared like that was a bar do you even remember kai no i remember it and i actually think i saw a comment that like was like oh nobody yeah dania's joke see and nobody cares about me which are the best comments by the way those feel so good when someone's like oh nobody noticed so-and-so said this yeah except everybody likes it and then they still refuse to notice it like the clip doesn't get posted yeah well the taco bell choco taco that's what i'm really excited about no no no also they don't have release dates on it at least when apple does their presentation we have like a timeline of when everything's coming out taco bell just said it to say it like i feel like that was something that they decided one night the next day they booked it and then

they just got on stage and started like showing ai generated photos of things they haven't done yet unfortunately it ate and i will be eating it and he's been checking it's working it worked no it literally it is literally working because we're talking about it like i'm excited about it it's gonna be yummersville like all of the new little items i want the empanada so fucking badly but every time i go on postmates to order it we have a taco bell like five minutes from our fucking house and i just can't get into the car to drive there because i'm so fucking lazy and like it's actually a problem but every night i get on postmates to order it and then the fucking fees are like 19 and it's like a four dollar empanada and i'm like i'm not spending

19 on a shitty yesterday he built out a cart on postmates i still have them saved i still have them and he was like bragging about how cheap it is he's like wow oh my god like what a deal blah blah and like he spoke about it for like 12 minutes straight like i finished eating i was already moving on with my life and i sat back down and he's like oh my fucking god like eight dollars more to order like i'm not fucking doing that are you fucking kidding me and he got so mad it was unbelievable and then was like i'm just gonna do talk about it was like let's see what their delivery fees are oh no you found sonic and you're like oh my god they have sonic on post space but it was like a 20 delivery fee because it's

literally 40 miles away yeah um no so i have this feature on postmates is really advanced because like you can make carts and then abandon them but they still say advanced it's like awful no no so i have them all saved so i like will build a car see the price catch the vibe of like is this what i really want to put in my body tonight and then i'll go back and just click order um i was gonna do shake shack joe and the juice papa john's i was gonna get a whole ass pizza but it was an alfredo cheese pizza like instead of red sauce no that is literally like not better having a whole alfredo cheese pizza to yourself, which I won't even get on you, sounds really good.

Like sometimes I think back to how yummy the Alfredo pasta from Pizza Hut tasted. And I don't think that's something my adult palate would enjoy, but I remember being like 13 and having it and being like. Me and my big hat. Do you remember Cece's pasta? Cece pizza pasta i think i went to see it was like wet it was literally like wet with water and it was so fucking good it was like the the alfredo sauce was like like even more liquid than water is liquid like it was unbelievable and it was so good there was a place in miami called Sweet Tomatoes. No, there wasn't.

Yes, there was. Don't tell them I'm lying already. Like, what if I called you out on your lies? I don't lie. Oh, girl, we know a few things you lie about. Like? But there was a place, and it was like a buffet-styled spot, and they had, like, you could get different pastas and spaghettis,

and then they would just put whatever sauce was on top their alfredo sauce was literally elmer's glue like it was literally pure white like there was no sight of like pepper or anything else in the mix i genuinely think they got like cans of alfredo sauce and just poured it into a big vat and then would just like mix it up and get it on your bowl but that shit was so fucking good like it literally tasted like um tubby custard it was oh i love tubby custard like in um high school i was like oh i love tubby custard like you eating it like oh my god well no i thought you were referencing yup duck oh no no no uh oh yeah that is tubby custard yeah that's good i forgot we called it that that was tubby custard and then the chai latte from melrose was go-go juice yeah

yeah yeah that was me and orion's two things he would eat in high school i uh took a culinary like class like oh okay like i took i took the cooking class. No, culinary. Culinary. Oh my fucking God. Edward Cullen. No, I took a culinary class and we had to like build like hypothetical restaurants and we would have to like build out the business plan

and everything. Is that where Emoji Restaurant is? No, we're not even getting into Emoji Restaurant. That's actually so advanced and like... Nobody talks about it. Drew calling all of his

schizophrenic ideas advanced he's like nobody's ready they would make millions of dollars i'm not kidding emoji restaurant is the one thing that i do agree with drew moji would put you in the negatives oh drew moji is actually like unironically like genuinely coming soon that's just passive income yeah exactly why don't you get someone to make a really shitty app that like next time when i say it's coming soon it's literally unironically coming soon you want on fiverr trying to find somebody who can make it a sticker of work actually um but i um took this i built this restaurant and i still to this day actually do think it's a great idea. But basically you go in and you build your bowl of like noodle soup. Like you point the pasta you want.

You point the sauce that you want. You point like the toppings that you want. Exactly. It's like Chipotle, but for like ramen or spaghetti. And the teacher was gagged. She was like, I've literally never received a business plan. You like wait what's ramen like pause yeah that's another thing if we built a ramen restaurant in granbury i would literally like make run granbury i would literally become the mayor of granbury granbury um okay bring up the uh oh the thing i watch okay i feel

like a lot of people who are watching this will know what i'm talking about but kai i don't know if you know about this um there was this woman who made a tiktok like a week and a half ago and i saw it and it made me crack up but i did not know she was gonna follow it with a 50 part series explaining the story each episode is 10 minutes it's 50 parts it is like eight hours three hours to finish and i was that was watching on double speed um but like instead of fortnight you've been watching that yeah i haven't even had time for fortnight because i've been doing my research because i'm so dedicated to the podcast that's the thing is everybody around me was like can you stop watching

that i was like no i need something to talk about and i'm gonna watch this also i'm just naturally very nosy and i want to know what this is about. So her original podcast is her talking about a bad ex situation. And she just goes into detail of like, it's very blanket statement. And she's like, y'all think you have bad exes, but have you ever had an ex who lied about being the VP at a company,

faked phone calls in front of you for two years, moved in with you, took you on tours to tour houses, claiming he had over like a million in offshore accounts. Shut it off with my mind. I'm like really powerful. You're so stupid. Claiming he has millions in offshore accounts, all to turn out to be a felon who's a pathological liar and his family is disconnected to him. And one of the people he was claiming to talk to was somebody like multiple people who were dead he would lie about people being dead all the time all this shit obviously that tiktok blew up because they were like what

the fuck are you saying right now because it sounds not real she goes into detail that she met this guy on a dating app the first date she at like when it happened she was like wow this is a sign from god that this man and me are meant to be because on the way to the date her tire blew out he showed up fixed her tire took her to a tire shop bought her a new tire took her out to dinner they got along well they were both i know she found the last real man and it turned out he's a liar so he actually was the last real man on this earth. But whatever. Like this whole dramatic thing.

They're both, I think, like late 30s, early 40s. So both of them on the first date, he was on his love. Oh, wow. Well, you're pushing 30 now. No, I'm fucking not. Don't even fucking say that. We have to talk about that after. Yeah. Basically, I don't want to take a few more

time saying this because it's literally three hours worth of content i'm trying to put down but i'll say my favorite parts he lied about basically working at heinz like the condiment company he lied that he was a vp at heinz he lied that he played football in college and that's where all his money came from in his offshore accounts he was claiming he had so much money that he didn't see it viable to put into u.s banks and he wanted on offshore accounts so that the u.s couldn't tax him on it he forged a chase letter how long did he keep this lie up for almost two years oh he's actually a year in she started to realize and put the pieces together that he was lying um he would take her to all these like he would sign

legal documents saying he could put a cash offer for 750k on houses all the time so like in her like on her right she had no reason to think he was lying because and she kept saying that she was like in my head no sane human would legally bind themselves to a $750,000 cash offer if they didn't have that. And he was paying for things in her life. So she was like, it kind of made sense. He would talk on the phone every morning at 6.15 a.m. That's how you know you're a good liar. If you can wake up at the ass crack of dawn and get right to your lying, like you were crazy. He would talk to his brother every morning, but to the point of being like hey john says hi and she'd be like oh tell him i say hi he's he's like yeah she said hi okay how are you she said

she's good was the call made up like yes he was never on the phone he was never you know what that reminds me of is that fucking video of the dude in the restaurant like getting interviewed for that documentary and he's like on the phone and he's acting hot, shot rich dude. And he's like, hold on, the president is calling me. And he holds his phone up to his ear and it's this screen and he has a full conversation with the screen present. Who is that guy?

I don't know who you're talking to. I'm going to find it because it's so funny. But yeah, shit like that. He lied about his grandma dying from covid his uncle dying from covid and his stepdaughter dying from covid he lied about three deaths just randomly like when she got over the house because she was like i don't feel like we're ever gonna get a house something about this is feeling fishy he basically just got off on telling her things and seeing her reaction and he would just lie about people dying

he one day just like decided he was like i'm so tired of working at heinz like that's not the actual company she said she'd never said the company but i'm just gonna assume it's like heinz or something but every now and then he'd be like oh my god they're like really stressing me out at work like i want to leave this job and he lied and said he left heinz to go work at apple so he now he's living in georgia in a random county in georgia being like i think i'm just gonna take a job at apple he still has the lie going like no it turned out he was a felon he literally was a felon because he impersonated an officer and was going into random people's houses and he ended up getting arrested because he she filed for divorce she kicked him out all this shit he also had like a busted knee that he claimed it

was from football and was like bedridden for two months and pissing in powerade bottles and like dude it was so insane but the story ends with him being a convicted felon uh felon going to jail i'm about to fill you in i I was going to say that to you. On this amazing story. Okay, show me this. Okay. So, are there any scandals you can talk about? We can't talk about 90% of the stuff I do.

I don't know who this is. Can I pick this up real quick? Okay, hold on. This is KB. Can I help you? Listen, when you say A-list, we're talking like Brad Pitt. We're talking...

This is unbelievable. Hold on one second. This wasn't that scripted. I got you. Can you tell me exactly who it is? Hold on one second. This wasn't not scripted. Exactly. Can you tell me exactly who it is? All right, let me quiet when I'm done with breakfast and I'm away from these people. What was your name?

Oh, stop. And he just keeps fucking going. He got a scam call, answered it, and then the phone then the call drops, and you just see all his notifications on his phone. Imagine being the scam caller on the other end talking to this schizo dude that's having a conversation with you about selling art, and you just hang up.

Yes, someone trying to sell you bootleg life insurance, and they're like, okay, when you're saying A-list, what do you mean, Brad Pitt? I'd be so scared. Imagine being the people recording it and catching him doing that. That would be so fucking lit. I spent three hours of my life watching this woman talk about her crazy-

It would have been six, but you were watching in double speed, which is- Also, he would take her to car dealerships and promised her he would get her a BMW X5 with- Literally you. Leather interior. Yeah, literally me going to car dealerships and promised her he would get her a bmw x5 with like literally you leather interior yeah literally me going to car dealerships all the time being like yeah i'm gonna get this and then being like actually i can't you literally don't i don't believe in getting a new car the

new cars are ugly and they're fake and they're meant to fail yeah i literally hate my car so much and i'm not kidding i would actually be excited if it exploded. Like I literally would, I would be so stoked. Noted. Oh my God, Kai, that's a threat. Maybe there are real men. Would you blow my car up for me? You'll blow it up for me so I can claim the insurance. Insurance fraud.

Drew, weren't you saying there was like a percentage of a population that's always like these prolific liars. Like you were talking about the, there's always gonna be like one person a year that gets really high up and does fake sign language for the president yeah yeah i don't remember what the conversation was but like i always think about that there's like a there's like the tinder swindler yeah there's always like one guy a year that pulls this oh it was drew saying that like they're the true entrepreneurs because people who buy that good will like literally they want it so bad they will get

to the level that it is profitable but the thing about this lie is it literally wasn't profitable no also he uh profited a p word no they that was the other thing is they didn't have like an intimacy life because he was also a cheater so he was also cheating and he was like paying for sex. She went through his phone and he was paying for sex with other people. So they literally like, it was so odd. Like he was just a fucking crazy person and God bless her. And I hope she was on the TikTok creator fund because she deserves a bad.

She definitely got there after the first three videos. Yeah, I hope so. I pray. Was he sexy? He was mid. why can't why can't people online just hear a story and be like i literally i don't know you i don't know your business i kind of do but you gave a good thing of not saying it i literally have a note saying y'all gotta start keeping shit to yourself please accept us obviously like except this um but i've just seen so many many TikToks of people blowing the fucking spot up.

Like three of our low key, like, oh, this is a vibe, but like I don't want the public to know about this vibe because they'll ruin it and they'll change. The businesses will change. Like three of those spots have been blown up on my TikTok feed the past week. Like literally physically exploded into a million pieces. Wait, are like gas leaks gas leaks baby no like just a bunch of people are there now if god forbid one of those businesses blow up you're done you're literally done it's like me like them actually finding bodies in central park did they actually no no no they

haven't yet um there's gotta be one that's what i'm saying like at the bottom of the pond or some shit like i'm over okay i gasped while you were telling that because i cannot believe i forgot this and this is what i wanted to start with but i left the house this morning to go run a couple errands and while i was at a light um there was this dude kind of like writhing around on the floor it's raining like he was like rolling around and kind of no that was very she was taking the chance what she saw right yeah literally um but he was like rolling around and then i've never seen like someone stand up as fast as he did like i like blinked and he went from laying to like

standing and it was like it literally felt like I was hallucinating like and like I'm it was it was unreal and then like he like slowly turns his head and locks on to the car in front of me and it's like this older gentleman in the car and I feel really bad for him but this dude literally like points out of it and starts like screaming at him and it's like I'm gonna fucking kill you like i'm gonna find your family and kill you he's obviously like on something yeah like not well and then he goes and walks up to the car and starts banging on his window like and like he's like screaming at this guy and is like i'm gonna fucking kill you and like the white is red and there's people crossing and I know this guy wants to drive away so

bad but he can't and then he slowly like gives up and then like looks at me and thankfully the light turned green because I really don't know how I would have handled that situation but like he started walking towards my car but thankfully I just like drove around the corner and it was done but like

I was so scared that he was gonna attack me remember when someone tried to get into Orion's car um oh yeah the gallery and it was done but like i was so scared that he was gonna attack remember when someone tried to get into orion's car um oh yeah when we left the gallery thing orion was stopped at a light and something similar happened a guy was like just on the street like acting a fool kind of yelling and screaming and orion was trying not to look and then she in her peripheral saw him coming closer and to the passenger door orion also drives like the oldest car ever it's a gadget yeah she drives her gadget and so she had to like lean over fast and lock it and he came and was like jiggling the handle trying to get to her and she just had to drive off because she got scared and she had to run the red light i just feel so bad for women didn't you say that we should normalize chasing

women i think yeah but it's for like episode. It's for like episode 67. Yeah, it's for like literally like brain purposes. Yeah, it's like get quicker on your feet. Oh, you believe in chasing women to prepare them

for the world. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Oh, I deleted every note? You say that every three episodes.

Me and Drew are like good guys. Oh, there's not enough good guys anymore. I know. Well, it's because we always finish

last and like no one appreciates nice guys finish last that's why i'll treat you like trash glass they ate they ate with that fucking song oh where are any of them are they alive um i was just watching 22 when that came out so they must be dead what's not hey there delilah but there was like another dude like another emo guy well it doesn't matter because i don't know what i'm fucking talking about um it was it was like one of them but i just don't say that i don't know you and oh i know yes yes yes i just watched your type yes dude that was a fucking banger but i found out he's like an awful person or something her classic and it seems like that always happens except for me aren't good when i start my music career i'm not

gonna like switch up like i'm gonna be like the same old guy i'm not gonna let the power to get to my head and i have a couple bars that i wrote down um that i feel like could change the world are you gonna read them should i read them like spoken poetry or should i like wrap them a little that I feel like could change the world. Are you going to read them? Should I read them like spoken poetry or should I like rap them a little bit? You should rap them. But I know you won't be able to because you're on camera and you have to read right now. I know. It's so bad.

It's so bad. Okay. I feel like I'm Bob Marley the way I'm smoking on this kush. What if the moon crashed under the earth? We'd all be squished. It's squished. No, it's squished. Y'all been getting it wrong the whole time.

Well, when you said that, okay, to clarify, we got off our flight and I don't know what happens to Drew when we get off flights, but I've realized that is when you hit peak, like activity. It's because after so long, he has to just talk a bunch

and we got in the car with Josie. Josie picked us up god bless and i'm dead from this flight i feel crazy drew is in the back seat going crazy because when the crowd goes crazy i go crazy and when the crowd goes crazy i go crazy i'm so fucking crazy he just randomly dropped that bar and me and drew me and josie were we did the fatal mistake with drew where when you show him that you're impressed by something like that, he won't stop until he gets that same reaction. Yeah.

And he just kept getting worse and worse and worse. I love Build-A-Bear Workshop. I lay pipe like I work in the shop, period. Popped your mama in the face. I can't tell my left from my right anymore. I think my brain is fried from scoring basketball pink dot red dot laser beam i think it just needs to be like it would be good as fuck let me cook

dude i fucked up the vibe in here with that like i really destroyed it we were trying to record that because as we've said on the podcast we'll record like random songs it's so cathartic it's so yeah we're just like we're just such passionate creative people sometimes we have to just let it go and i like to create for myself sometimes because if i create for the world it becomes a job you know so i like to create for myself and just really let loose Even though every time we listen back to any of the songs, it's like Josie has kryptonite on his computer because when he plays it, we literally melt and we deteriorate. It fucking sucks.

And it took Drew 10 times to get that first bar right. 10 toes down. Okay, 10 toes down challenge. I did the cinnamon challenge to end my life. That shit, you know the video no oh wait is it you rapping on it yeah yeah yeah let me find it i got that shit saved up here too hold on i wonder if anybody i guess no never mind as i say i wonder if anybody finds your page and follows you seriously and then sees your highlights, but your whole page is...

I did the cinnamon challenge to end my life. It didn't work, so I grabbed the knife. Cutting off. I fucking ate. Should we talk about the new AI models that came out that are really actually horrifying you and kai can be men and talk about that kind of shit but i'll say girls just don't have the brains to do that that's why you can't comprehend they do no yes they do no they don't that's what nice guys think nice guys think girls have brains, but we don't. Like I'm- Girls want a mean guy.

Girls want assholes. Yeah. Girls want assholes. Okay. Well, Sora AI just dropped. And we'll like insert a clip or two of like what it is creating. And it's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. And like I saw a bunch of other people talking about this. And this was my first thought as well.

But like my biggest fucking fear ever in my life is like going to prison for a crime I didn't commit. Like a crime was committed and I just somehow became a suspect and I go to jail. Because you look like every other bitch. So they would just see the person be like that's true oh wow you have accounts dedicated to me yeah exactly i'm different okay um so your fear is going to jail yeah yeah yeah um and it was so bad that in high school when the drug dogs would come i would like zip up my bag and hold it on the front of my chest because i was like literally so scared that someone was going to put their weed in my bag and hold it on the front of my chest because I was like literally so scared that someone was going to put their weed in my bag and I was going to be out of like a camera like

the cameras couldn't see so I was just like horrified of it but these AI models are so good now that like the videos like at in some parts are like so realistic that I actually couldn't tell if it was real or not and then I had to go to the open AI Twitter account to see that they posted it. Like, because I, I thought people were just trolling and joking. And now all I can think about and all I'm freaked out about is someone making a deep fake video of me committing a crime that I didn't do.

And it is the evidence. Okay. But if that happened, if we live in that world doesn't that mean that nothing online is like valid anymore imagine the porn oh also yeah one of the things that they did open ai they generated an infinite amount of big oiled up booty compilations oh like twerking oh that's good for us okay actually that's yeah i'm pretty sure that's one of our top viewed that's good for the podcast worked up booty twerking actually yeah it's like oiled up i think so just because the title goes so hard um don't do that again sorry oh well you're thinking

of the negatives i'm thinking of the positives i'm gonna have ai generate me front row at the chanel show sitting next to anna wintour having a conversation and then post it on my ig story with a heart and just tag chanel and be very casual about it and then people will circulate it and then chanel will be like oh did you invite her i don't remember inviting her but we need to invite her next year because look how viral this moment is but my only saving grace for the sore ai was i was like oh like yeah you can make these videos but like the sound doesn't exist they're not generating sound nope 11 labs now lets you describe a word or describe a sentence or a sound that you want to hear in a sentence and it'll fucking develop it it'll look at the video and yeah i think you can also just look at

yeah it just watches the video and then it does it you don't have to like use your words we're over we're over down we're about to have 18 new tiktok artists who are making their music via that ai the 11 labs thing and it's going to be the worst music you've ever heard and it's going to do so well since tiktok took off umg okay that's what no one's talking about i remember when tiktok removed all that licensed music i had said to somebody because you're greedy and you just want all the revenue to yourself yeah and i don't give it to the fucking artist i don't give a fuck about the artist it's about lining my pockets in my pockets only i mean honestly respect

like that's what a true like ceo boss would do you have now been demoted you have now been demoted by lesser employees but because of that i was saying to somebody i think it was our manager i was like i'm so curious what all these tiktokers who because even personalities on tiktok still kind of rely on that music to a certain aspect like everybody can survive without it for the most part but so many people post like compilations of their years and like their days and day in the lives where they don't want to talk they just want it to be a vibey video if you just pay attention to some of the music people are using it is the worst music you've ever heard like people are mashing up like britney spears and phoebe bridgers just to get a vibe of both just to like feel something for their tiktok compilation and it's

some of the worst thing i've ever heard and i think at this point people are now just brain rotted and trying to ignore the fact that it's like your favorite creator talking about their day but in the background it's like can't be tamed and like 16 carriages mix and it's just it sounds crazy and that's why i signed my deal with title because i didn't want my music to be taken off of tiktok, I didn't even know about that. What's Tidal? Oh, it's Jay-Z's fucking streaming service. Hello.

He sold that for $350 million, by the way. And I have literally, I have not met a single person that has used Tidal once. I will say when Tidal came out, I did use it because he released him and Beyonce's collab album. Was it 777? Or or yeah 777 was on there and their collab album i think was originally only on there so you had to have it but then obviously they were like bitch no one's getting this fuck 444 we were thinking of just like other

good luck and stuff like 777 i keep six six i keep seeing numbers guys i literally keep seeing the angels one of the funniest things i've ever seen on the internet was the angels number thing like bitch you think like you seeing these numbers is like a sign like no you're just on your phone 14 hours a day like that's literally you i know what's your screen time been at? Have you been better? Pretty good. Let's check. Yeah, daily average is just four hours. Well, let me see. Let me see.

Today's Monday. So that doesn't really count. It was eight hours and 33. But in my defense, in my defense, I left my phone playing tiktoks just the same tiktok for literally like 45 minutes twice so like take an hour and a half away from that how did that happen um because i was like getting i was in the bathroom and i was in the bath and i was just like too lazy to get out of the bath um that was two days ago actually so that's the tea on that and yesterday um it was on my bed

eight hours and 30 minutes too yesterday and oh my god i was nine hours last sunday bad you're bad as fuck i was only three hours on thursday because i was just like present i literally have just only used my phone for 15 minutes why is mine only two hours and 20 minutes though it's the fortnight and the 3d rendering okay? It's the Fortnite and the 3D rendering. Okay. It's the Fortnite and the 3D rendering for me. We need to check an updated count on how many hours I've spent on Fortnite. Like we need to look at that.

In the metaverse. Actually, I haven't been playing as much as I used to. Like I've kind of fallen off the past week. What did you say about butthole? Y'all, I watched Spider-man across the spider-verse and nobody's talking about that movie like the first one no the second one oh i saw the first one that you have to watch the second one is advanced it is so insane i started it on the plane and within the first five minutes i was so tapped in but it was the worst rendering ever

because we were flying alaska and the doors were about to be pulled off of the plane so the wi-fi couldn't be encaptured into that tube it was um so i waited till we got to the hotel and i watched it the flight home from maryland i'm not kidding was the plane was like three decades older than me i like i'm not exaggerating like look at this look at this shit like i couldn't no tv there was no power outlets there was a wall of carpet there was literally tape on chairs tape on chairs it was falling apart at the seams and then there was like the most 80s fucking carpet walls i've ever seen in my life also okay humans are so insane because I was deep in REM sleep on that plane

and we had the gnarliest turbulence I've felt in a minute because it was one of those like big drops and like continuous shakings and like another drop. And I woke up from it and I felt all the adrenaline in my body rushing immediately. Like I've never woken up and been so like, I was almost shaking with adrenaline because my brain was activated and like okay it's time to survive it's time to

survive and i was actually shocked by that feeling because i was like wow maybe humans are meant to survive no that's literally all i think about is when i get fight or flight i'm like wait like actually i'm not suicidal and i just actually want to live. Like that's the tea. Well, you know what it is? It's because it's like my like in like eternal battle of I will kill myself before anybody else kills me. And that's one of those things where it's like, OK, bitch, that's my decision to make. Like you are not going to fucking kill me. You're going to like I'm not giving yourself on the airplane. I'm not kidding.

I literally if I sat there and I thought about the probability of whether I would survive that crashing, I would kill myself. I'm not about to spend the next five minutes terrified. Like, are you kidding me? My biggest wish is I just hope it passes out. Like, I just hope I pass out before it happens. Like, that's all I could think about is I was asleep and then like I was jolted awake and I was like, bro, if we're going to crash, just like let me sleep.

Like, literally, please. But I did fall asleep immediately after. Once I detected no danger, I knocked the fuck back out. So maybe I'm not ready to survive because I could feel, I'm not kidding, I've never felt that. I could feel the blood rushing in my arms. Like it felt like I was Popeye and I ate spinach and I could feel my arms getting stronger.

Like I was about to rip off the roof of the plane and jump out. Okay, also why don't they give us parachutes? Like, come on, stop playing with me. I'm going to start traveling with a parachute. They really do like try to fucking like save money and cut corners. Like they could give us parachutes. But I guess also you have to be able to know how to use the parachute because I would jump

out of that, activate my parachute too soon and get wrapped up in it. Everyone would like you kill like eight people in a while. Launched down like a fucking big ass tamale. Like I just fucking crash into the earth. Yeah. They're saving us money. They're trying to take my money. Did you guys see that someone crapped themselves at the K-pop award show?

No. Oh, yeah. Wait, you brought that up like a few weeks ago. No, that was at the Taylor Swift concert. Oh. Someone like crapped all over themselves at the 2024 K-Pop Award show. Are you kidding me? Was it a star or was it a fan?

I think it was a fan. Yeah, it says fan confessing to pooping their pants. And they had to stop performing because it smelled. The smell went all the way to the front. That is so insane. Sorry, y'all. Sorry, I ruined the K-Pop Awards. Why did they poop themselves?

Like, were they holding their spaces? Dude, it was literally, I was waiting in line for like hours and there was no bathroom. And then I ran to the front of the building to get the best seat in the house. And I just, if I had to either hop the barricade and go shit and pray they would let me come back and hop the barricade and get back in my spot. That's not fucking happening. So I was just like, I'm just going to shit out shit out of my skirt oh you know she was wearing a skirt like you know that what's crazy too is like to poop yourself by accident or like you can't hold it anymore it has to be diarrhea so you know that shit like such a gross conversation also while we're talking

about poop we got to the airport at like 6 a.m when we were leaving for maryland and i am not kidding or yeah when we were leaving maryland i have never smelled that many morning shits in my life in that bathroom i was like y'all are fucking disgusting in the girls bathroom yeah oh girls poop now we got an update we got an update you know how talk about did you lying? We got an update. You know how Taco Bell did their Apple event? Women had an Apple event where we announced the new iOS update and we can poop now. Finally, our butts are useful. I just don't find that.

Can we pause? Can we just take a break? Because I just need to process that. To digest that information? What the hell? Dude, if you guys are ever blessed enough to live with a woman, you might that she poops like a lot actually i live with you no you don't i don't let you sleep here anymore okay so i drank for the first time um since we're on like a nasty fucking vibe we'll just go there i drank for the first time in a very long time one um i was in control

and it was a vibe i had a single margarita and then a second margarita at the party so i did not drink that much um well what the fuck is it oh you're talking about your poop um but yeah yeah no no no um i drank for the first time it was a vibe whatever it felt so good that i've drank every day since all day long every day and it's to the point where like i wake up in the morning shaking and i all i do is have a beer and I feel better. So that might be a problem. That's what I do. It's actually like a vibe. But yeah, I realized I'm old as fuck the day I drank. I realized I was like, I'm an old man.

And I was having a conniption fit about it before. I was like, literally vouched for me. I came in here after freaking the fuck out of my bedroom because i was like oh i'm like 26 and like a week like that's not that deep i have to get my insurance i don't care but then i thought about it i was like i'm 27 in a year and i was like like i can't be making poop jokes at 27 even met 26 and he's sitting around he was like the whole day he was like guys i'm gonna be 27 in a year and i was like technically in a year you're gonna be 26 and then we went to this party and i was like mustache old guy on the dance floor like and it was so scary boots what's funny is i don't think

there was like we were definitely amongst the younger crowd there because it was kind of shockingly like a lot of older people there but i also felt that there was a moment where i was looking around i was like okay yeah i'm like 25 at this party right now like something about this feels funky but the party was cute as fuck yeah it was super fun but i am so insecure about my age now which is like not even a bad age because i know bitches hate when we talk about our age because they're like y'all swear you're old. Wait, people actually talk about that? Yeah, people have been like, Enya talks like she's like 42 sometimes and she's literally 24. But I think they mean that when I'm talking about life experiences and being serious, which is actually so rude because you don't know my fucking story, bitch, and you never fucking will.

And I bet you wish you knew me on a deeper level, but you just will never know me. And that's where that hate comes from. That's where the anger inside comes from my anger is my story no no no i thought you meant my hair i was like it does come from my the ops um but yeah i felt old also are you not going to talk about your experience the next day which proves that your body like just rejects alcohol oh yeah yeah i forgot so i um drank for the first time like i i consider that like real drinking like it's not binge drinking but it was like like it was more than a fucking sip of alcohol or like

a quarter of a shot like that was that was like i had two full drinks and it was a fucking vibe i came home and was the most like nosh after i had the first drink i was extremely nauseous like it was tequila so like my every time i drink tequila like especially on an empty stomach it feels like i have ulcers in my fucking stomach and like it feels like my stomach is like tying itself in knots and it just cramps and it hurts i wasn't doing that but i was like super nauseous i got over that quickly it didn't help that our car ride to the party was the most jolting car ride i've ever been in like it felt like it broke my neck my neck has been hurting since we've gotten in that car yeah and then got home after having the second drink and i was so nauseous

like i felt fine and then all of a sudden like a wave of nausea hit me that i haven't felt since the last time i drank like this. And I just like immediately retired to bed. I like had food. I couldn't even think about eating it. Like I brought it to my room just in case I like woke up and was like, okay, I need to eat food. But like, I just couldn't even like fathom eating a meal right then. And then I went to sleep. I fell asleep almost immediately. It was actually really nice. and then i woke up at 3 30 in the morning with like painful nausea like i it was like it hurt so bad it was like the type where you're like sweating and cold and like like sticky and it just was horrible feeling like it was like my clothes were wet i was like sweating. And then I went to the toilet and fucking projectile vomited everywhere.

And it didn't help it. It literally did not help it. And I was like, girl, what the fuck? And then I went back to sleep and woke up. And thankfully, it was to the point where I was like, oh, I have like flu type A or some shit. Like I'm over. Like I'm down bad.

Like I can't believe this. Your body can't feel anything other than the subpar normal it rests at because Drew will be like, I have a flu. Subpar normal it rests at because Drew will be like, I have a full ablute. Subpar normal? Well, cause you're always in some sort of pain. So you're never just normal. There's always something to talk about. I do have- There's always something lingering.

It's always like, I have black mold. I'm like not getting enough oxygen. Like something is always happening. So you- You won't let hypoxia go ever. Dude, cause that was the craziest thing you've ever said no it was probably the most advanced thing i ever said and they probably wrote theses and papers about it you're the first human to self-diagnose yourself with hypoxia like i'm pretty sure you have to get tested to see your oxygen intake i have a tester yeah i was gonna say my dermatologist has the

same thing and she won't let you sit in that room unless you're taking over 95% of oxygen intake. But yeah, you had that. And then I just also felt like shit. And then yesterday we were both dead and brain rotted and we're just old now. So you guys might not have us for much longer. At the party, there was, at the party, yeah, literally, you're over. This is over. At the party, there was top hat lady that I thought was like, literally, I thought she was like this evil overlord because she was talking to like all these people and was like,

like, it looked like the conversations were super intense and like, really long. And like, there were people that we knew. And I was just like, who is this lady? Yeah, like, do they need help? Should we interrupt this conversation and then like my conspiracy brain started spiraling and i was like oh like this like is like adrenochrome like she's like trying to get these kids to eat like stem cells or some shit like giving me crazy energy and then we went inside i ignored it then we went back outside like

an hour and a half later and she was berating and yelling at another person. And I was like, oh, fuck. Like, this is actually like an evil person. Like two hours and she was on the same couch just talking to someone different. I'm not trying to flex here, but they were famous people like that. That's an important part of this conversation. We were like, what is she doing to them? Why won't she leave them alone?

And then I was nosy and I was like, OK, I need to know what the fuck is is her vibe so we sat on like a stoop right next to her because i was like i need to hear it and then i heard her say some shit about and that's what i see in your future and i turned around and the girl she was a tarot card reader and i literally thought she was trying to get these kids to shoot up a drinna chrome or like some shit like we were like guys we need to help them we need to help them bitch they were literally getting their yeah and then i was like wanting to get mine read but i didn't i want to go to a fucking psychic so goddamn bad like but it's not it's obviously like literally not in my cards because it would have happened if like it was meant to happen like i genuinely believe that like i'm not supposed to get my cards read because it's gonna tell me i'm gonna fucking die or some

shit i just like don't know if i believe in it but i will say the last time i got my cards read they were really on point like everything that they said was gonna happen happened but then in my head i'm like i'm the kind of bitch you can't tell me some shit because i'll just like do it like you can't tell me oh this is gonna happen because and i'm like yeah i'm gonna make that happen faster how about that like because you're not about to tell me what's gonna happen in my fucking life Cuz it's my life you crazy bitch And then I just do it. So part of me. I wish I believed in like Psychics and tarot cards and like zodiac signs and stuff But I'm just the kind of crazy person that if you tell me it's gonna happen

I just make it we are the daughters of the witches they didn't burn Like that's literally me like what me putting that on my tumblr should have been a sign like that aside for what like you being crazy or straight oh have you seen that little hippie girl on tiktok that like cosplays okay well i wrote a couple things that i thought were funny um me when my phone dies is that girl me when i recycle a bottle at the airport um me when i intentionally don't grab a plastic lid for my cup um me when i use a tote bag that's the energy that's that's how i feel when i go to the grocery store and i don't put any of my produce in the plastic bags and i just put them in the cart because i'm gonna walk

that's the craziest like thing ever is putting your produce in those little plastic bags like that shit is always so annoying to me like having to get rid of all the plastic bags when i get home do y'all get me or i'm just like a really good person because those are covered in like baby diaper poo that's why i put it yeah for immunity that's weird that's like it's like how you let like kids like you let dogs like lick your kids so that they build immunity you know what i realized i'm gonna start doing or not start doing but when i have children what i'm going to do is by then i'll be living on like a farm with like the appalachian mountains in the background and like it's like forested woods or like the parisian countryside and there's just like forests behind my house um after breakfast every single day i'm gonna tell my kids get the fuck out of the house

and go and explore that forest and they're not allowed to come in until 5 p.m and i'm gonna say build your fucking fort like i'll i'll give you a sandwich and some fucking chips and a soda pop or whatever we'll probably have like soda pop not even water no hell no they'll have to drink creek water i'm not kidding like we need to start like sending kids outside again like it's we're down bad because look what happens in his apple vision pro look what happens yeah i wasn't allowed outside after the age of 13. Yeah. All right, should we do Psyop Corner? Yeah. Drew's Psy.

Why are you changing it? He's edging us. He's like, corner now. Fuck. Holy shit. Don't do that. Don't do that. Shit, I hate what the fuck it smells like gas it always smells like gas kai comes into our house and says oh it smells like shit today or

oh it's so fucking dirty in here oh i'm not even gonna get into it i'll never forget sand falling out of your shoe yeah you can say whatever you want about i don't think that happened i don't know say whatever you want about the gas but we have a clip of sand falling out of your fucking shoe square almost frog-like toe detail kai there's sand falling out of your shoe fell out of your sneaker that's crazy that you were literally like disappearing on camera that canon of the podcast goes crazy okay well let's get in the psyop corner what the fuck is lgbtq plus

question mark question mark question mark y'all got gay premium paramount plus right right um damn now that i'm rereading these back these fucking suck bad just go i finally realized why y'all got belly button piercings it's so y'all can hang an air freshener over that musty ass that's a good one girls with low iron be like big things coming yeah a fall that's you i I know, literally. I had to like brace myself yesterday. I need to faint soon. I can make that happen.

Fainting is very feminine. Yeah, right? Such a feminine activity. Only girls should faint. I did write down things that I think Inya did find icky, like icks of things that I do that Inya like has told me. I'll just do these real quick and then we'll get to them um nope that's it okay i was just gonna say god knew what he was doing not giving me a vagina because that shit would have been ran through a vagina yeah like it would have been been fucked no i don't want to do the x okay why

okay this is what drew thinks i find icky about him and his x for me walking on rocks barefoot and my feet hurting from it wearing red shoes meal prepping treading wading through water no that is that's what i was saying like imagine dating a man and watching him like walk through water like that is so embarrassing um hula hooping swim goggles or flip flops tying hoodie around waist that has always grossed me out like i think it's like chic like i'm not even kidding i think it's never been chic no the way kai does it is like kind of cunty no i like when you do it over the shoulder that gets a pass around your hips is crazy but i think that even about women like even if there was a fine ass girl who i was like oh my god i need

her let her take that zip up off and wrap it around her waist. I'm literally going to fucking rip it in half. Like I'm going to use my teeth to tear it up and leave her with scraps. Walking down a hill when I have to cough because water goes down the wrong pipe. Jumping at a concert and having a food allergy. Food allergies are really embarrassing. Dude, it's so funny that you said that because literally yesterday i was doing something and i immediately like i was like oh my god and you

would find this like a male ick i was like reaching up to get fiber cereal in my kitchen and i was like getting on my tippy toes and i had to like jump and like barely grasp it and you like i just let out a little like just starve at that point just don't fucking eat like just don't do it it's not worth it it'd be different if like we were back to like climbing trees and shit but like jumping to a cabinet no that is embarrassing to get food to get a stool even someone getting a stool like that is so embarrassing just leave it up there yeah it's of us of the week i'm trying to think what else like is what have i done recently that you were like you didn't even say anything to me because you didn't want to hurt my feelings but

you were like why the fuck did he say or do that i mean everything i say you literally are like you are actually insane um i can't think of anything specific that you've done that's like it me out recently good yeah no i can't think of anything the one thing you do that not a lot of people can think of anything oh no because i just thought of one the one thing he does that icks me out but it's like because i feel like i'm standing in a room with my child is when you like leaving the hotel when the door hit your hip and you're like oh this is gonna ruin my fucking day this is gonna ruin my whole fucking day like when he goes into spouts like that i literally ignore it because it icks me out and i know that if i even interact with him i'm like oh my god are

you okay he's like no i'm literally not like i'm not okay like stop um well you do the same thing well i'm a girl i'm literally so it icks me out a little bit too. Yeah. No, but that door was like 86,000 pounds. And I was walking out and it hit my hip and it bruised me. It literally caused actual damage. That's also an ick. Like a man having a hip bruise.

Like, what are you doing? Closing the drawer with my hip. That is me. I will shut the refrigerator with my fucking hips and that's not icky i don't give a fuck no use your foot like using your hip yeah something that i do that is icky to me um is i will literally instead of taking the drink out of the refrigerator i will just sit in the refrigerator and drink the soda and then put it back, then walk away and then come back like five minutes later

and have another sip. That's not necessarily an ache, but it's more of like, just take the soda out of the refrigerator. Like literally what am I doing? It's like wasting energy, so you wanna leave the- Yeah, fuck it, fuck it. All right, media of the week. My media is John Water movies.

Did I say that last week? Probably. I don't think I did because I don't think we've recorded since I went to the exhibit because I think I went on Saturday. I watched almost every John Waters movie ever and he is so good. And you'll watch six movies in 48 hours. List them. I know.

I watched. Whoa. I like I I watched. Whoa. I like. I hate that letterbox. I'll like like a movie, but it won't show what the hell I watched. Like, hello. Wait, let me see. Someone help.

Films. Okay. Just say fucking movies, bitch. Why is this app saying films? That's what i'm saying watched cry baby serial mom a dirty shame spider-man across the spider-verse polyester i re-watched jojo rabbit and i watched the blackberry movie um and my favorite was the spider-man movie and serial mom serial mom by john waters is one of the best movies and i feel like if it came out

now it would be a blockbuster hit because it's so funny and i hate that nobody talks about how good the spider-man across the spider-verse is like i feel like i'm the first person to talk about like what a good movie that is it just like deserves its flowers that's my tea i watched this film um it only had like 3 000 fucking views um but it was two guys naked wrestling and penetrating each other it was really beautiful actually you said that was a film that's my it's my bit wow oh have you said that before he said it last week did you actually you don't remember that no i literally yes he said that his movie of the week was like two guys fucking and i was like oh my god that's crazy i saw that in the recommended of my movie dude that is like fucking me up right now that

is crazy no i i think it was last week i was telling my friend a joke and then they cracked up and then i just realized it was a bit that you guys said on the podcast. That's good. That's good. Keep our legacy going. Yeah. Because I won't be here much longer. I watched this Zach Galifianakis animated movie that came out in the peak of pandemic. And I literally did not hear a single fucking word about this movie and i guarantee

when they were making and releasing this shit that if the pandemic happened it probably would have been a blockbuster but no one fucking knows about it and no one has ever heard about it and it was so high budget and it was like it was actually kind of sweet and good and there was like some interesting commentary on it, like about like kids with like cell phones and not being able to make friends anymore. And I watched that and was like having an existential crisis thinking about the pandemic and how it ruined a lot of culture,

but it also like did so much like this podcast. That's what me and Josh were talking about the other day or yesterday when we were talking about ai was like like i feel like it's net neutral at this point because like a lot of people like especially with this news like sora like ai shit that's coming out like a lot of people who don't realize that they have a creative bone in their body and like don't are like scared of how difficult it is to like create a video or create a short film or create a movie or create a cartoon or whatever it is like might realize that they have creative bones in their body and we might see a renaissance of yeah it's like with everything like we'll get

a bunch of good stuff and we'll get a bunch of really bad stuff but all the bad stuff is worth it because then we get like this podcast and like things like that out of it out of all the best you don't know it feels good until you feel bad wow shut the fuck up my music media of the week is goodbye horses by q lazarus silver line by sheer mag caroline goodbye by colin blundstone and waterloo sunset the kinks wow i'm trying to think of that fucking movie it's called like rob with a prob ron ron's gone wrong yeah wait i kind of ate with rob has a prob what's the prob rob um yala mia bring the noise mia sex.a the weekend um actually no exodus okay um right right yeah right vince staples i re-listened to that song after seeing the vince staples show

and i was like or not seeing it but watching it behind y'all shoulder and I was like damn like this is a banger and it always will be um Brazil Cornelius and I'll give y'all um Noah's Ark Coco Rosie the skin of my yellow country teeth clap your hands say yeah that's a banger what is that oh yeah well we're gonna get you can't play that just do it sing it go ahead sing it let me hear let me hear the words

oh no all right thanks for listening guys you are amazing. Thank you so much. Love you. Oh, she's gone.

Oh. Bye.