Emergency Intercom - Drew’s Hat of Terror

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Something awful is brewing .... under Drew's tall stinky hat... you may find you like it. It attacks Enya, it loves grease, it holds the drewth... this episode is dedicated to the hat Right now, save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to BABBEL.com/EMERGENCY Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Welcome back. You have to look me in the eyes. Why don't you look me in the eyes?

Because I don't like looking at people in the eyes. Look me in my eyes. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. No, no, we said it wrong. See, it's because you're not looking me in the eyes. No to this episode of emergency and we said it wrong look you see it's because you're not no that's that's not wrong it's welcome to this episode we said welcome back by accident oh look welcome look me in the eyes you're scared of me you're so scared that's gonna be one of those things people click when they're like i just can't believe she would do that to him his trauma is so unnoticed his trauma is overlooked it's crazy how my trauma is literally over it's not my fault you're a hole but you do that to yourself what am i am i wrong

i mean it's just it really is hard for me to exist on this platform with two people who treat me like fucking garbage and don't take into account that I am human. We treat you super well. I knew you were a human hole. I didn't think you were a different species of hole. I'm a garbage disposal. Disposal. You're the only person who says that word like that. Because it's the right way to say it.

I think it's just disposal we've had this conversation before but it's spelled garbage dispose all like you're disposing everything but everybody says garbage disposal but what the fuck is a disposal

it's the thing pronunciation let's see. Oh. Garbage disposal. Yeah. Turn it up. Garbage disposal.

Exactly. No, you are not saying that, bitch. Wait, wait, wait. Drew, say it. Garbage disposal. Oh, so you're gaslighting me. That's not how you, say it. Garbage disposal. No, you... Oh, so you're gaslighting me. That is not how you were saying it. Garbage disposal. That's how you were saying it.

I feel like you were saying it different before. Yeah, you were saying garbage disposal. I feel like both of y'all should fucking kill yourselves. Oh, my God. I don't know how many times I have to say it. It's like the anger... Just do it, please. We're begging.

Everybody's begging. All of the people are begging. They want it really bad. I'll actually do it. Really? Well, that's... Okay, like... Yeah.

We, like... For me, baby. Yeah, I'll do anything you want i'll literally do whatever you want me to do i'm gonna be honest i don't know if that many people will be like that sad about it but like him saying it to me is a big deal okay okay um welcome back to emergency and to come i'm drew phillips i'm anya you man's or and this is our podcast and here we have fun we let loose we just say what we want to say we say what's at the top of our brains should we talk about what happened last night and how i saved your life what happened

last night hello me oh the mass attack yeah? So, we went out for like... I wouldn't say you saved my life. I saved his life. I'd say you were quick on your feet and that you... Saved your life. I had the situation under control, but you butted in. And then you saved my life in turn. So, without me, you would be dead probably.

Mm. I think some would argue yes. But... argue yes but so last night we got home and we were so tired but i was like you know what i've been wanting to go to this photo booth because this one person made up this thing where it was like going to photo booths have you do you know what that is do you know what a photo booth is um yeah oh well i just like learned what it was but before i explain what it is to you because i still don't oh wait brian he invented the photo booth i forgot he invented that wow so he was the first person to do that yeah so like he like i don't know how to explain it he

like i don't even know how he made the machine but someone else made a machine and i know where a machine is so i was like i'm gonna go to the machines because now they're like widely available post that so i wanted to go to like this one spot we go to that's cute because i had a lot to get off my chest to my girl so i was like let's go and like we literally had a key yeah i was like we need to go somewhere and like i need to like express myself on a deep level so we went and i cried yes i cried in public i love doing it before we get into it i will say and yeah that night i was at i'm not even just saying this i was literally like taken aback by your beauty in that room and i'm not even just saying that like i literally there

i caught myself in moments when you were like telling you telling us what you were telling us like where i was like holy shit like you are like a gorgeous person and then i also had a moment where i saw you and i was like, holy shit, we are 20 something year olds. Like we're old as fuck. And then on top of all of that, you had the most beautiful, graceful cry I've ever seen in my entire life. Thank you.

I wish, you know what it is? My best lighting is dim lighting. That's what it is. Like my best lighting is like a bar lighting where it's like kind of dim. And then there's like just enough light to like light my face but not like with an orange hue like ambient lighting is my most flattering light yeah girl turn off the lights yeah like i look my best when you can kind of barely see me and everybody has a drink in them you have to like squint and it's really loud okay now you're like going and you like can't see anything that's your best and because

of how loud it is it's messing with your other senses like your vision. So you're just seeing things like more beautifully. You know like how you have to turn down the radio to like listen to directions? That's what it's like. Like listening to loud music, it's hard to hear a conversation. Don't look at me right now when you say that. You're like looking directly into my eyes. It's freaking me out.

No, I don't like you. I don't like you. Oh my God. See, see, see. So we were at this fucking, I'm like scared of my whole coochie coming out. And I have my feet on the sofa. I don't know where I've been looking this entire time. I think I've been looking into the lens.

So whatever. We were there. We like had this like moment. We didn't do the hat bit. It was sweet. It's not too late. Well, you called it out now. So like, whoa, the way you're sitting is crazy.

Anyway, so we went here. It was nice. Then we like left and me and Elsie were like, we want something sweet. Like maybe we get a little candy. The sweet in question British poppers. That's the sweets in question. British, British branded poppers. I've never seen that in my entire life.

And you, that's what you got. Yeah. Cause I take risks. How are those different than like normal american that was extra strong way more what's different is that a human probably shouldn't be putting that to their nose like it literally it felt like if i went straight up to a like try like if i went to a gas nozzle and started pouring gas on the floor and put my nose right to the stream and some of it got up my nose.

You're fired if you don't snip those poppers right now. I'm fired. I'll lose my job. You can't make him do drugs. It's literally 4 p.m. I don't give a fuck. We run this company different here. We're going to get in trouble. Sniff the fucking poppers. No. No, don't actually please. Don't do it.

Because you will actually pass away. How big would it get? How big would it get? How sticky would it get? Your whole? Yeah. We're recording this, bitch. Oh, this is, we started? I hope you're happy that this will be your last job that you will be able to get.

Because I don't know where else you're going to take this resume. I know. That's the crazy thing. Like, what a resume. I've actually thought about that. If I ever had to, like, apply to LinkedIn again, they'd be like, all right, we're just going to like check in on what he's been up to. And I'm just like talking about making boba and doing poppers.

Good, bitch. I hope you never work another day in this fucking town, bitch. What was I talking about? Makes sense. Okay. So we left this bar. We go around the corner and we go to this deli because on while we were walking past it the tiniest fucking baby kittens were in there they should not have been in there because they

were also on the floor so young they were like the smallest little baby kittens ever we'll insert they were so fucking cute and we were just hanging out in there petting these kittens it was the best time ever and then yes something was purchased something sweet was purchased and then but on our way out we were like walking out and by this point i was the only one who had like i had like two and a half drinks it wasn't even the full three because i was like splitting one of them but i had almost like three drinks so i was like feeling myself i was a little i drank water yeah i don't drink i drank a cup of water. Because he's a fucking loser for the shit. Because I take care of myself and I love my body.

Do you though? No. I hate my body. I hate my body. I love that body. I hate my body. My body. The girls with the guns.

I hate my body. That's like the best vine ever. Okay. So we like walk out and this man comes up to us with a city bike. He's like rolling a city bike and he comes up to us and he is covered in blood. Okay. He came up to us and we were like, I saw, I spotted him from across the way. And I was like, oh, like he's probably lost and needs help.

He's like shirtless and sweaty. And I was like, okay, my like, my instincts were telling me like, okay, be careful here. He came up and we, I, we saw like this shit down his neck and we were like, we were all like,

what the fuck is that in our heads? And then we looked up at his forehead and like his entire forehead was like gashed open and he was bleeding and he was sweaty and he had like cuts everywhere. And we were like, and he looked like peaking on adrenaline yeah he was he was other than whatever else was in his system like he looked like ready to go every fiber in my being was like please don't come up to us and like we had locked eyes when he was across

the street and i knew he was gonna come up to us and he did he came up to us and my fight or flight like immediately kicked in like i had so much adrenaline i was like i'm about to have to like beat this fucking dude up or some shit. I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen because like he was obviously like on something. Not in the right state at all. And also covered in fucking blood. Yeah, of course my brain was like, okay, we're going to have to figure this shit out. But then he asked us something like, do you know which way is Brooklyn? And like I started stuttering like crazy.

Like it was like the worst performance ever. I was like, and then Inya steps in. And then I was just like, I like wasn't really assessing. I like, obviously I was like, oh, he's covered in blood. How odd. But because I was like, just kind of drunk, I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. We're not from here and i i couldn't even tell you where we are right now like i like said something like that to

him i don't know what i said but i was just like oh my god i'm so sorry we're not from here and then he was like oh okay and i was i don't even know if i made any other comment we're like okay i was just like okay and then we just kept walking and he kind of just walked away i got out of there immediately i was like fuck this y'all for some reason started like kind of loitering and i was like we gotta go no and i started walking across the street and then you started walking the other way y'all started walking with me and then y'all turned around and walked back towards him and then walked the other way and then y'all were like no we didn't walk back towards him as we were crossing as as we were crossing the light had changed and a man behind the man who was at the front of like the line of cars honked and me

and elsie were like oh this light just changed and now we're in the middle of the street so that's why we turned and then we just walked the other way because the guy was starting to honk and in my head i was like i don't want these motherfuckers to start honking and this crazy motherfucker is like who's honking at me so that's why you just keep walking ignore the honk and keep walking well i fucking lived and i saved your life and there should be a little bit more of sex you know what next time i'll let you stutter your way into a stabbing next time i'm going to get stabbed in front of you and it's going to change the trajectory of your life forever yeah because i'm about to get hell of use and post that shit on the podcast and i'm going to pull up to front of you and it's going to change the trajectory of your life forever yeah because i'm about to get hell of use and post that shit on the podcast and i'm

gonna pull up to the hospital you're being held in and put the mic like you're gonna be like laying down because you're like so like wounded i'm gonna lay the mic next to your head and then keep talking on the podcast but we like just went down and we were sitting at this booth and like drew was like is he there is he there and i was like dude like he's down the street but i think he's like just off of us because i was like oh i think because i spoke to him like a normal human he just was like you passed like that's what it felt like it literally felt like okay you passed and like it it just felt like we were on like what would you do and because we just treated it normally and moved on he just like moved off of us and he was just like loitering in front of the deli we were by and we were like

okay we need to call a car and just like get out of here so like drew called an uber and we're like sitting there waiting for the uber and then when we get back in the uber like he had kind of like i feel like gotten out of our viewscape and we didn't know where he went so we were like this fucking car needs to hurry up so we don't get murdered we get in our uber and we see his bike is parked in the middle of the road where we were and like he's screaming at like everyone that's passing like like i don't want to mimic it because it's crazy but he was like yelling at everybody literally and like freaking the fuck out and like charging at people and like he's like he's running at our car and i'm in the back of the uber and i'm like please like go like just run the red light like go he's gonna start banging on the window there was a group outside

of the bar we were at he was like like running after this group of like 30 people and like like a bunch of other people were on bikes and he had gotten off his bike it was like running after them it was crazy like it was like so good no it was treated us like yeah exactly it was like five five minutes after he has he was like kind of normal with us he like snapped and was like yelling at everybody no i literally think we just got lucky because i couldn't gauge my danger that i was like like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, I don't know. And then he was just, huh? I shut down.

Yeah. Drew and Elsie went dead silent. I was like, oh, I actually don't know. Like, I'm so sorry. We're not from here. And then he was like, okay. And I was like, I think I made a comment. Like, hope you find your way.

Like, I said something. I don't remember exactly what I said, but then we just moved on. But like as we walked away, I was like, oh, that was somebody who was probably going to murder us. Like because he was covered in blood. I'm curious how his night progressed that he has a city bike. Like, did he take the city bike from somebody he got into a fight with? Because like, I think he fell off his bike. I'm sure he was scanning with his Lyft fucking app.

Like, oh, yeah, maybe he was drunk and fucking fell that's what i think i think he was like inebriated and fell off his bike but he was shirtless and he wasn't carrying a shirt it's a hot night that's true it's a hot night in new york it's a beautiful night we're looking for something dumb to do hey baby i think i want to marry you and that was our story of how i saved our life and it was like honestly like it's just easy for me like someone like me like you know how harry styles is like treat people with kindness i don't even have i don't feel like i have to live by that because i naturally do that it's an innate part of your character yeah and giving head is a part of that too but jesus christ oh are you soft serving right now yeah oh yeah in the car in the car um everybody's like we want soft serve we

want soft serve and i was like and i gave him a soft serve he's the only one who can do like a soft serve because i can only do a full four serve but drew drew was in the craziest mood in the car he was literally passing away and his phone died so he was like fully tapped out of reality because he couldn't just turn off his brain and scroll tiktok he like yeah like what are you actually i don't know what you're supposed to do in the car anymore like if you don't have a phone i don't know what you're supposed to do i'm the opposite because i get so fucking car sick i'm like i don't like i don't know how y'all are using your iPhone in the car and not wanting to throw up.

I'll just meditate. Oh my God, you bitch ass liar, bitch. I'll just jerk off. Hey, stop fucking interrupting us with lies. I'll just play with myself. I'll play with you in the backseat. Yeah. But yeah, Drew was just like going on like a delusional loop.

We passed a smoke shop. Did you ever go to the website? Aliens? Oh, no, I never went. We passed a smoke shop and he was like, Elsie's phone was the only one on. And he was like, write that down. Write that down.

And wasn't saying what he was pointing at. But I saw it. I was like, aliens.com. I just wanted to see their website. He was like, write it down. He was like, no. And then we passed like three shops. We saw an ice cream shop.

He's like, I'm going to make tonight about me and we need to go get ice cream. And then he was like, fuck, what was I just saying to write down? And we were like, aliens.com. It doesn't exist. It's not even, oh no, it's A-L-Y-E-E-N-S.com. You're going to get a virus

like immediately. It doesn't exist. I think it was written down and spelled wrong. Or that's just the name of the shop. It's like it's like

It's stupid. Also that's like sushi dot com at that like random ass mall. We went to a random ass mall in hicksville and the rest one of the restaurants was just called sushi.com which is honestly so lit it was like sushi.com italian food like it was like one of those setups where like all of the restaurants

were just like what the food was like they weren't giving them names anymore it was like sandwich it was fake food yeah it was not real it was like ghost kitchen food we need a ghost kitchen no one's addressing the pandemic that is ghost kitchens i think it kind of died down i think ghost kitchens was like a huge it's still a thing but i'm thinking about like influencer ghost kitchen remember when like everybody just like was like order from my place on postmates yeah literally or like get my food truck yeah it was like what why like no i don't want your food like you post tiktoks also you post me chick-fil-a every single night you think i'm

gonna trust whatever food you're hot running through a ghost kitchen. No, I'm just not. Well, no one is talking about how devastating of a day I had yesterday. I woke up to quite possibly the worst news of my life. And actually, I'm not kidding. Not a soul said a thing to me. I literally was texting you about it. It's like it's fucked up. No, actually, I am like a little bit offended by everyone's behavior in the moment, except for you. said a thing to me i i literally was texting you about it's like it's fucked up it's no actually i am like a little bit offended by everyone's behavior in the moment except for you you were

the only one that like actually treated me with fucking respect but my fucking spotify account got deleted and banned okay which is fucked up i do understand how deep it is because it's like a catalog of like all of your things. And it's like, this was my moment. And I had this soundtrack. So I do understand. But I thought you were going to say something completely different and something happened. Like, are you crying?

It's okay to cry. Boys cry too. Oh, now boys are allowed to cry. But three episodes ago, boys weren't allowed to cry people yeah thank you thank you yeah cry bitch since you want to so bad oh my god you're a little bitch oh my god but yeah my spotify account got deleted and i thought about it like a couple months ago we had this conversation i had this conversation with someone um I was like, dude, like it is kind of terrifying how I don't own my music. Like I don't own CDs of it.

I don't own it on like iTunes. I just like if it like something happened to like the Spotify servers and everything got deleted, like I would not own a thing. And I spent all this money to own nothing. And it's crazy. that is kind of insane and my account got fucking deleted and i don't have any of the music i listened to when i was in high school i don't have any of the music that i listened to even yesterday that long yeah it's like it's my account that was your account since like 20 because i my spotify account i had two so i went through like losing my spotify

because i basically gave it to my fucking dad um and now like it's not like i could go back and look at like oh how often did i listen to this because it's like i'm glad you liked listening to jay balvin every day for three hours for the past five years yeah my account was um i shared it with like a couple of my buddies in high school um so like well so yeah you've had it for like a long time you've had it for like six i've had it since sophomore year um but they just banned you right they weren't like i think his account was like gone i think it's gone oh i know what you could do just make an account and follow yourself so then you could be paying for two accounts literally. That's a good idea. Hold on

What were you saying Kai? Oh, you can you can mirror your Spotify to like Deezer or something? No, that's what I think I got banned for is like using an illegal app and I feel like you've done that and that hasn't happened to your account. No, I only Cuz all the apps that I use And I feel like that's illegal. But I feel like you've done that and that hasn't happened to your account. No, I only do it with Deezer. Because all the apps that I use... Deezer nuts! Are Deezer nuts? Oh my god. Dude.

Goddamn. Wait, who's your friend from North Carolina? I can't laugh. I just can't laugh. We were at... This is actually the craziest. Like, this was probably rock bottom for me. Like, actually, it was real rock bottom.

But rock bottom after rock bottom after rock bottom. Yeah, this is real rock bottom. Wait, I'm sorry. Oh, it's funny that it's about rock bottom. Oh, miss. Oh, miss. oh it's funny that it's about rock bottom oh miss i'm gonna rock your bottom oh that was good yeah there was something there but you missed it but no we were at like dinner yesterday and uh one of the people at dinner is from South Carolina. And she was just like talking about being from South Carolina. And I was like, oh, I have a friend from South Carolina.

And I said it genuinely. And I believe that I had someone that I knew personally from South Carolina. And then I thought about it. And I was like holy shit I don't know this person at all and the even sadder part about it is this person is a literal

porn star and I like and I've never spoken a single word to this person I've never but you've shared intimacy with them yeah exactly yeah in a lot of ways and it was almost the person. I've never. But you've shared intimacy with them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, in a lot of ways. And it was almost the first person I've ever subscribed to on OnlyFans.

But since OnlyFans doesn't take Amex, they wouldn't let me. So I just have to read their Twitter bio and know that they're from North Carolina. So your parasocial relationship with this porn star is so deep yeah that you think that you know yeah that i i genuinely was like i mean there's something to that my friend i feel like this is my friend i mean we jerked off together i'm gonna say like that's the crazy thing is like of all parasocial like relationships i feel like that like makes sense because like in a way you had intimacy with someone the deepest form of human connect connect connection oh whoa holy shit that was a good save from like a crazy stutter also every time you do this and look at me it looks like you're smelling your armpit and i thought that's what you were doing when you're fake crying i was like is he

like acting like he's crying so he can smell his fucking armpit right now basically spotify fuck you actually no please no but we love you love you you know you know oh you know all right hold on i have to like close the blinds because the sun is like in your face it's fine i just don't want you to wait you have a hat oh um you have a hat yeah that's your hat that you have that you just have on standby to block out the sun that's your hat well it literally works it just like you know it like works almost too it's blocking the sun from me. You're welcome. You should be thanking me. Drew, where did you get that? Yeah, like what?

Where did you pull it from? It was down here. I didn't even notice it. Yeah, it's inconspicuous. It's so big. It's basically a stool. I use it as a stool too. You sell that thing?

It's like 10 pounds. Oh, it is 10 pounds. It's comb de garçon. Okay. First Hermes, next comb. Is this one real? I got it like that. Is it... Well, is this one I got it like that is it well is this one real though because I know the other one

was really fucking fake oh you left the tag on why did you leave the tag on for proof because no one or to return it because you can't afford it you bitches are so fucking mad that I have the coolest hat ever that's the thing it's giving for it moves it no

like it's like it's giving like a pilgrimage it's giving high fashion it's giving swag that's swag it's giving it's giving i get bitches it's giving like i have a secret in my head it's about to explode because i can't keep it in any longer. It looks like a Lego hat. It's crazy. Is it hollow? Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, I keep things in here too sometimes. Can you hold my water?

Do you think you could? Oh, yeah. It fits, obviously. It's what it's made for. That's what it's made for? Okay, this is a little too big. Take your water bottle. But I store my iPhone

in here, which is like really nice. Why would anybody want to store their iPhone in their hat? If you don't have pockets. If you don't have pockets, you just put your phone in your hat. I guess, but then what if your hat falls off? I feel like that's a really prone to falling off hat. Like, what if someone's mad at you? And they could just fucking

swing your hat off. Are you getting a phone call right now i'm getting a phone call oh yo hey uh can you that was crazy that was crazy that was like insane hey I would have done the same thing fuck I was just gonna be like

I was shocked oh are you almost here dude I'm so happy yeah but you answered it we were locked in like we did not plan that out I turned

Inya was going to do it were you going to call too yeah I was gonna call when the call happened I was was like, who did that? I know. We were really locked in. Wait, can you hit that? Why?

Because seeing you hit a jewel in this pilgrimage hat is crazy. I don't like that. Don't rub the rim. Oh. It's like the cowboy hat thing like tipping your hat oh can i try it on i bet it looks good on me you cannot try this oh my god this is made for men whoa clothing like doesn't like girls clothes should wear girls girls should wear girls clothes men should wear men clothes and that's it and you're not wearing this that's your statement that's all i

will die on that hill i will die on the hill that skirts are for girls kid cuddy your your day is coming the second time we've hated my whole head can like go in this it looks longer on anya for some reason are you saying that i have a big head that's what they know no that's just what they say about me i'm not dissing you oh my god it's crazy how i have haters in the room i think you look good i think you look really handsome silent haters i don't he's not silent though he's like openly like being kind of mean to you so i think that's i think that's pretty like cool of him and it is weird because he's teetering on the edge of being fired he's like on a constant

loop of that but like i mean like how is me complimenting and yet a threat to you drew i feel like we need to unpack that honestly because wait why are you hitting on me i feel like i need to unpack these fists i feel like i need to direction unpack my butthole okay on to drew true if you're gonna hit hit me, hit me. Honestly, I feel like every time I do an episode, I'm making love to the mic. But you better knock me the fuck out. What does that mean?

This is kind of nice being in here. It smells like Drew. Girl, shut the hell up. It smells like me, though? Oh, it's on there. It's really on there's stuck on you was it actually stuck not for a second but then when you started yanking it went to an angle and it like was grabbing my fucking earrings. You pushed it down on my face and it hit the ridge of my nose and I saw for like half a second you broke my nose.

No, don't do it again, please, because it actually hurt. Yeah, bitch. Personally. Shut up! personally shut up sorry Drew's wind chimes are going on the ring tone is so embarrassing

like the like ring wind chimes are so embarrassing and every time I'm anywhere why are you closing it it looks good you guys look beautiful I can still wear the baseball cap you are obsessed in like a very scary you want to compliment me but you don't want to put out yeah you're being you're being like the ultimate tease like i'm your employee that's fucking weird to say okay i'm sure the comment section is gonna agree with me fuck them oh wait when you're in that restaurant yesterday did you hear me doing

fart sounds in the bathroom no dude i don't think you were i think you had already gone into the bathroom or you moved and the person who was outside that woman who was outside of my door i think she heard all of that because i kept going up to the door i was like no i didn't know i don't think we heard it because i was standing right next to her i think she was like if she gave you any sort of energy it was because you opened the door and i was right as someone with like carrying like 30 pounds of glass cups was walking by and you almost like hit him and it was like no no no but like nothing happened but i think she made that may have been the energy but we could not hear you making for it so that's embarrassing

though because that means i was just in the bathroom, like, peeing and making farts. I was doing it for so long. Like, I was like. Kai's been doing this thing recently where he doesn't lock the bathroom door, which I think it's on purpose so people see him defecating and walk in on him using the restroom. It's true. That's crazy. Yeah, every time I've gone pee or poo in the bathroom in new york i haven't locked it because it's like cool to be like oh at any moment someone could

come in i would be in this like compromising position what else you got right there man come on man um why is every security guard the oldest person i've ever seen no but actually why are they the oldest people ever i know like they're i'm sorry they're not i'm running i'm running i know i'm supposed to trust my life at like i was at the bank and i'm not kidding this man was 98 years old he was literally withering away in front of me he had seconds left like i'm i guarantee he dies in the next four days he was withering away and i was sitting there thinking i was like what who like who is he protecting is he gonna protect me like i'm gonna have to protect him yeah but i do understand why because like old people have to make money too to work which is

like crazy but like security guards are disgustingly old that was the craziest observation ever because it's so true like i can't think of like a young security guard i've seen in the past like three months just like every male flight attendant is a gay man says prove me wrong it's i can't comments speak up and then we'll accuse you of lying in the next episode we'll accuse you of lying um well that's like i had never mind it was gonna be really bad and i don't want to say because i'm really embarrassed the next note i have is it's all theatrics oh my god everything is theatrics nothing is real that's that security guard that is not real he's not protecting me it's theatrics yeah that's what tsa is exactly that's

what i'm saying all of it everything all security all things to protect us isn't real well everything is to make somebody feel in power but in the same position um disengaging somebody from power so that somebody else could be on top of somebody else like security guards are that like what we don't live in the fucking 1920s anymore who's going in and robbing a bank when's the last time a bank was robbed can you even rob a bank i genuinely feel like it's just debit cards now like they don't have anything yeah they don't have money in there they probably have like such a small i think i saw something about that that somebody robbed a bank and took all the money that was there and i'm not kidding i think they had made a comment that it was like $3,000. And that's what was in cash at the bank.

The thing that you saw was from our show. Because we had this conversation. Wait, what was it? We talked about like who robs banks anymore. And then I looked up how much the average bank robbery is. And it's like seven. I saw that somewhere. It's like seven grand or something.

Wait, I saw a really sexy person talk about that. Yeah, it was me. The emergency intercom experience. We should make an intro to our show that it's like primates becoming sentient with third eyes, like making their monkey sounds. And then like a woman comes in. That's an alternative intro to this. Yeah, and then like a woman's voice

like borderline robotic kind of like all-encompassing omnipresent says, the emergency intercom experience. I have some pretty bad news for you, Drew. What? You just described the Joe Rogan experience intro like word for word. Is that actually Joe Rogan's opening? like word for word.

Is that actually Joe Rogan's opening? Yeah. I'm not kidding. I have never seen an episode of that in my life. And I'm not kidding. I genuinely, if you put a picture of Joe Rogan in my face, I don't know if I would be able to name that. I don't know what he looks like.

Well, Drew and I are white guys, so it's like seared into our seared yeah it's like it's in our dna joe rogan is white right no what is he he's his panic he's italian i'm pretty sure like i'm not kidding if you put like 10 men in front of me and you were like point out joe rogan and you had a gun to my head i'd be like fuck let's play that game right now okay look up three men and you try it okay but look at like random white man random white man and then joe rogan okay and we'll play that game what do i win if i got get it right you get a big old smooch from me big old kiss okay why the fuck would i want that like be real oh people want that who? People. Like the people watching? It doesn't get this right.

These are like Dolly 2 images. Are you making fun of my laugh? No, no. I thought it was going to crackle in my voice because I have bronchitis. You were speaking earlier and you had a voice like your lung pop. And I was like, oh my God, you're dying. And it's literally since you've gotten that jewel like it's gone like downhill like like your voice we got we got we talked about this on the patreon

but we got mint jewel pods shipped in from russia that are a year expired and i've been hitting them and my lungs have been filling up with pus but they taste so good it tastes yummy they need to make mints that taste like that. Like mints that are jewel mint pod flavored. The emergency intercom experience. Like Jolly Ranchers. Okay, let's go. Or they need to be like,

okay, if we can't have mint jewel pods anymore, they need to make a non-nicotine based one that tastes and smells like that that I could put in a humidifier. That's how I feel about Red Bull. Like Red Bull without caffeine.

Yeah. Put it in a humidifier. I don't know feel about Red Bull. Like Red Bull without caffeine. Yeah. Put it in a humidifier. I don't know why they haven't done that. The unspiked. Maybe we should do that. We should just steal the formula. No, that's what I'm saying. I've given them a billion dollar idea and they won't take it.

So I'm just going to have to do it on my own. I have the photos ready. Okay, I'll put these on screen. This is number one. What if I get it immediately? Then what's the fun in it? This is number one. Okay. Me too. on screen and this is what if i get it immediately then what's the fun in it this is number one this is number three well it's incredibly easy because only one of them only one of them has a mic in their hand and looks like they're saying the most absurd shit ever

and the rest of them it looks like they're linked in profile and yeah you just got tricked because that was alex jones wait are you kidding number two is joe rogan yeah no swear to god no you're lying i'm looking this shit up because y'all are lying wait i'm so confused no you got it right. Oh, okay. That actually confused me because I was like, I don't know how Alex Jones looks either. Like, I don't know. And I was like, oh my God, like, whoa. You just got bodied. That would have been awesome if I got bodied that way.

I wish. Okay, I have one more. That's him. I'm at that point where it's back to me wanting to run away and disappear again oh my god maybe when my suicidal ideations are forming into other things and i just like manifesting as hiking trips my suicide my suicide manifests itself as like running away yeah running away and camping i mean that's like a healthy way for it to like go dude have you been seeing like tavia in i just saw it today on her ig story that blue fucking we're gonna we're gonna spend the rest of our life being like we're gonna go do that

and then not doing it because we're just like caught up we're caught up in other things i feel like you guys do stuff though shut oh i just i i'm trying to like validate the fact that you guys are living your lives. I hope you go blind. What the fuck? I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from. It's okay. If you went blind, I would take care of you.

If I went blind, it would suck because I could never see your guys' beautiful faces. If you went blind, I would push you so crazy. Don't hit on me. I'm not hitting on you. I would push you over physically i would wipe your ass for you in the street really i actually i feel like i don't think he would need help wiping his ass i think you just really want to wipe his ass my eyesight has been kind of bad recently though so maybe we should just start test it out just test it yeah oh my god she gets so jealous I know when you talk about wiping my hiney

yeah she like wants to be like kissing on me imagine me with my imagine me with my legs up okay no we're done we're done though you know that one video of the baby farting like squeezing the farts out oh yes I'll do that too

that would be awesome if you could get it off can we actually try that I'm down that's patreon content I would be awesome if you could get it off. Can we actually try that? Ew. I'm down. That's Patreon content. Like, I'm not even joking. Can we try that? Yes.

You don't. You hate farts. I would take a fart to the face for that. I've farted around Drew, and he's gotten genuinely pissed because he hates farts. And he's like, oh, my God. Like, just hold it in. Like, I hold it in until it dissipates inside my balls. And that's why you can't shit, bitch.

Do your balls absorb the fart? If I squeezed your balls, would you fart? No. Oh. No. Whatever. I'm just, I mean, you said they go to your balls. I feel you though.

Sometimes I get really angry when people fart. I don't know why. I'm just like, really? I don't know why. You could just have not done that or made it silent. And I would have been like, which one of you motherfuckers farted? But like hearing it is completely different. It's so weird.

I was thinking about that the other day because I was like, I make so many poop jokes. But I do. I am disgusted by farts in a way. I'm like, I fucking hate that. I think that shit's funny. Y'all are gross. No, it's funny. It is funny.

Well, I don't care if guys fart. But when girls fart, I'm like, you're disgusting. What the fuck? No, that's like literally the source of the care if guys fart, but when girls fart, I'm like you're just fuck no That's like literally the source of the problem. Yeah, I like it when girls you saying that in that hat is crazy You don't feel weird for saying that Well, I just think girls if they don't poop like why should they be able to fart? No girls poop girls like poop all the time I don't like you can't lie to me like I just lied to you and said joe rogan was alex jones like you can't do that to me i don't know who you are talking about big true's fucking brain is exactly why do you think i wear this hat it's because it's hard for my

no because your hair is started to mat up from the top because you don't brush it so now you have to hide it and you have one big mound of matted hair at the top of your head that you can only hide with that hat oh hello hey you can't just hide where'd you go you can't just hide from me this is gonna hurt oh fuck oh i thought this wasn't gonna come off i actually got so imagine we had to take you to the fucking fire department they had to oh that would be piss me off yeah please help me um and yeah i think it's cool if girls make big diarrhea farts should we move on we think we should move on all right i wish we were in our house and you were in this same chair and that chair was mine because if we were i would kick the legs of it so hard that the wood would break and you would fall

and you would be so embarrassed yeah and then you would try to laugh it off and it wouldn't be funny because my tailbone would hit the ground and the wind would be knocked out of you have you guys ever like slipped on ice and like hit your tailbone like that

no because I know how to walk yeah because I have like balance um no i i have hit my tailbone we've all done that dude come on ew you're embarrassed no i have i have hit my tailbone and it's the worst pain that was the meanest shit anyone's ever said to me straight up no because i know how to walk like what cool supreme sticker on your fucking laptop I didn't even put that on there. Dude, what the fuck? Oh, I rode the subway for the first time alone. Oh, my God.

He keeps saying it. No, you have to pretend that you got yelled at because you asked for help and you met the meanest person. I didn't know where I was going and I wanted to be sure I didn't fucking go to Long Island or some shit and ride the train for 30 minutes and like go the opposite way so i was asking people for help along the way because if someone asked me for help and i knew where i was i would be like oh yeah like this is it i would be nice about it because i would fucking push them and fucking spit on them i feel like you would be like the type of person to kind of like roll your eyes a little bit and be angry

what um but i asked several people and i don't know what it is about me but i only approached women um and i think it's because i trust women but i recognize that like to the average woman who doesn't know who i am i am a scary looking straight man yeah literally like and i i can see that some people and that's why i I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. You have to just go up to her and be like, hey, my beautiful slay queen. Yeah, like. And then you can. Hey, girl. Hey, girl, let's have a key.

But I asked her, I was like, so is this the CD train or whatever the fuck train I was trying to get on? The CD's nuts train. I have to do it. Wait, you said that to her yeah like i was like do you want to see my balls what train is this and i was like why would you yell at me um i was like you look so beautiful you shouldn't be wearing makeup why are you why aren't you smiling right now yeah like you should you should put a smile on that face girl i. I could put a smile on your face. Yeah, exactly. No, I just, I simply was just like, yo, is this the right train? And she like slowly looked up and then like turned her head to me and was like,

I don't remember what she said, but she said some slick shit where it was like, she like pointed to the wall across and it was like, I don't know, look. And then I was like, holy fucking shit. Like then i was like holy fucking shit like well like i'm being genuine and i'm asking you this seriously like if a man approached you and like would you like and you were fearful for your life of him would you be mean to him or would you try to like be nice no i don't even think it was a fear thing she was probably just like annoyed because like i don't think you necessarily bring fear in people because like let's be real like i mean yeah i'm pretty big what was that what were you pointing literally just flexed like spongebob also like you were wearing the hat which would piss me off

yeah so like i'd be like fuck this fucking thing you know i'm the final like four millennial in this hat that's what i just realized yeah this is what that is the millennial final boss yeah like if i was at burning man and i had this on on you would get bitches no but it would have to be that one shade of brown we were talking about like the one shade of brown that everybody i feel like a maroon would look really good with that thank you you're welcome thank you um no i wouldn't be mean to you but while you were having that experience um i was on the train because we were all meeting at central park and i was on the train alone also and these three like 15 16 year old kids were like vlogging

and being so fucking obnoxious and i was like whatever i'm obnoxious sometimes whatever but they kept doing this thing where they were screaming and i think obviously because of like the state of like everyone in the u.s but specifically on public transportation in new york people are kind of just like you know you see the videos everybody's like very like cognizant of like what's happening around them and they they were on this train, like screaming and making noise and like, obviously trying to invoke like fear because they thought it was funny. And everybody was just kind of annoyed with them. They just happened to be going to central park too.

So we got off at the same stop and they were in front of me. And like, then they crossed the street and they pulled out water guns and started spraying random people and recording it. And I was like, they are the worst people on this planet right now. Like you cannot convince me otherwise. And they were like doing that and vlogging themselves and then i had to cross to where they were because we were also going into the same entrance and i didn't

want to elongate my walk by like 10 minutes i was like fuck it i'm just gonna get behind them i was behind them and they kept turning around and seeing me and like slowing down because i knew they wanted to fucking spray me with their stupid ass water guns. And basically I ended up just like going around them because they wouldn't stop. And when I was passing them, they said hi to me. And I was like, this is so annoying because now they're going to fucking hit me with this fucking water. And I felt a spray on my back and I didn't do anything.

And I was like, whatever, I'll let them just be kids and be annoying and keep moving. And then they did it again. And I didn't look back and I was holding my water bottle and i just stuck the middle finger then all of them were like what that wasn't even us we said hi to you we were being nice you're being mean and like they were just being annoying and then they did it again they were like 16 17 but i can't really gauge they were just really tall like they were all like kind of taller than me but you could tell they were children personally i would have pushed them under the train tracks but you would have murdered children i will say and i've said it publicly like i do like when kids are being fucking batshit annoying fucks i do want them to die like and i'm sorry

whatever sue me um but they did it again and i knew they were recording me and i was like this is the lamest i'm probably ever going to sound because i'm going to sound like a 40 year old like single woman um a single mother i meant um who's like tired of my own kids. Um, and I was just like, I was like, get from around me, get, go around me. And I was like, please, please. And then they were like, we're, we were just playing. I was like, please, please, please. And then they just like went around me and I just moved the other way and they didn't even laugh. So I think like I maybe hurt their feelings. I couldn't tell and I couldn't give a fuck, but annoyed me so bad and all I could think about is that they have on video of them spraying my back and like I genuinely was walking and I was like damn you know what I

actually hope they get hit by a fucking car because like the cars that were passing when people had their windows open like there were truck drivers passing and they were spraying the people and it was like they were just being so fucking rude and recording it and I was like this is why the internet is like the worst thing to ever happen to like the human race and I was like they were just being so fucking rude and recording it and i was like this is why the internet is like the worst thing to ever happen to like the human race and i was like they're being so evil and i want them to get hit by a car because in my head i'm like the karma would play out but they would be like oh i was being awful to these people who are just working and living their life and it's karma but then i was like no they would probably just become even worse people because they were like obviously just straight kids who like were like not being

like don't have strict parents like that was like kind of the vibe um but basically i was genuinely like walking to the park and instead of being peaceful i was like ruminating because i was like i genuinely want them to like get hit by a car and not die but just like be out of the game until they're like 18 and then they have time to be like fuck i can't be like a reckless idiot anymore i'm a grown-up now i completely forgot that this happened because i actually trauma blocked it but probably around the same time you were experiencing that legitimately i was like i i had the reason i rode the subway alone for the first time like i yes i oh my god it's called subbing we get on the subway we do our thing we get in new york and we do our thing and we ride the subway like it's not

that weird you know who calls it subbing nobody does that you take suboxone and you get on the subway you take a box suboxone is that like a like a like a medication what is that sort of yeah it's a fucking lit ass medication um but i got to my destination i needed to go to my bank to get like a blank check or some shit and got all that figured out i was waiting for mason out front front because he was meeting up with me and then we were going to go to Central Park and meet you there and everybody else. And I had gone into Starbucks for the first time on my own like volition, I think, ever in my life. It was like the first time I've ever like been like, oh, I want a Starbucks drink, which I will am going to go on a fucking rampage about in a second. Oh, I'm sorry we've seen your old ig posts you've been into starbucks on your own volition mr lana del rey is so

beautiful how many vanilla i know you were fucking up those frappuccinos how many vanilla frappuccinos have you sucked down you are such a vanilla bean frappuccino and i mean i mean that derogatory. What do you mean by that? I mean it derogatory as hell. You are a vanilla bean frappuccino, bitch. But I went to Starbucks and I got my strawberry acai refresher, which is just... Acai? My pink drink. My pinkity drinkity. Your stinky drinky?

And I just like had to find something to do because i actually looked like a psycho tweak and i was like pacing up and down the road in the bank and did your business and then stood outside the bank you like looked like you were going to rob the bank yes exactly i i mason like is never on time and he was like 30 minutes away when i left the bank and i was like okay whatever i'll just wait up and down the street and i was like pacing back and forth for a while then I got my Starbucks and I was like okay I need to fucking relax and just sit down on my iPhone but I was trying to conserve my battery um because it was dying very quickly and I'm like crouching and I'm like I'm bored as fuck so I'm not on my phone I'm just kind of like thinking thoughts of myself and then I'm like

oh I should take my vitamins since I have this drink right now um so I like go into my wallet and I take out like six beef liver pills and like to the untrained eye it looks like molly like they look like actual drugs and I'm sitting there like like imagine me like crouched in my like normal crouch position, like skimming through my wallet, like getting pills out. And then a fan comes up and she's like, hey, like, I really, really love your podcast. Like, can I get a picture with you? And like immediately I'm like, yeah, sure. Like, of course.

And I stand up and like three pills fall out of my lap and like roll all over the ground. And I'm just like, I promise I'm not doing drugs. Like I swear it's not drugs. They're vitamins. They're my vitamins. And she just was like, and like took the picture and walked away. And like to her, it actually looked like I was doing drugs. Like I looked like I was doing drugs.

You look like a fucking freak because you're crouching down in front of a bank. Yeah. And you're wearing a hat that doesn't exist. Oh, my God. Wait. No, we have to tell that. Oh. I just got really lightheaded, actually.

No, I did, too, because I haven't had a big enough meal. And when you were talking, I was passing away for a second. I ate like three quarters of Subway today. But they fucked up my thing and they put fucking olives in this like sweet dressing on it. You being like in New York, which is like infamous for having like an infinite amount of delis that you could go to and you ordering Subway. Yeah, I ordered Subway. Who fucking cares? I'm going to put some sweet dressing in you right after we stop recording i'm gonna take you upstairs and put some sweet dressing oh my god man okay um but after we got the hat

me and drew were sitting outside of this fucking macho spot and we were like sitting in soho just trying to figure out what we were going to do. And he was wearing it. And this girl ran up to us and she was like, Oh my God, like I'm out of breath. Cause I just ran here. But my friend said you were here and I wanted to come meet you.

And then we were like, Oh, like, Hey, we started talking to her and we were like, wait, how did your friend see us? And then she was like,

Oh, cause he was about to clock into work. And he was like, Oh my God, Drew was on the street, but like, he's just in a really big hat. So look the big hat and look for the big hat and that had me and drew cracking out because i was like dude and they were like is that real like are you wearing that seriously

and me and drew were like dude who are we on the internet that that's even a real question like if the hat is like a real like fashion choice but it was like genuinely making people upset and like angry and they were like genuinely taking offense to the fact that drew was wearing i was getting bullied to my face for the first time in my life and also in that situation when the girls were like look for the big hat um we were sitting next to this woman who like was just like minding her business drinking her matcha and eating her ice cream and like we just like invaded her space and sat next to her and i had like a conniption fit like a meltdown i was like

every decision the past six decisions i've made have been wrong like i'm fucking up like i'm ruining my life everybody hates me like freaking the fuck out all while wearing this hat and then i like stopped myself for a second i think i said something i was like no no i saw myself for a second and i like see myself in the third person and i'm like and i'm doing all this in this stupid fucking hat and then she just burst out laughing because like she wanted the hat to be addressed so bad yeah because she was probably like dude there's no way this man is actually sitting here freaking the fuck out with that on his head like that should be like whatever decisions you made that were wrong should be the least of your worries if that hat was like

also made like recently like that should be that was the first bad decision but honestly it was the best decision i know because look we look good who's we you're the only one who wears it you're my fucking alters you look like you're getting sucked into a black hole right now. What time are we at? One minute and, or sorry, one hour and three minutes. So we got like 10 minutes left? No. You probably do like media and you're good.

Yeah. No, because we had a bunch of cuts. We like sat around for like 10 minutes. It's like less than 10 minutes of cuts. Yeah, I think it's like five to seven minutes of cuts. There's another minute of cuts, so keep that in mind. No, that was like 10 minutes. It's like less than 10 minutes of cuts. Yeah, I think it's like 5 to 7 minutes of cuts. There's another minute of cuts, so keep that in mind. I just want to like, I want to make love to you in a really nasty

way. I'm a nasty woman. With a president who looks like he's covered in Cheeto dust. Cheeto dust. Wait, is that how she's covered in Cheeto dust. Cheeto dust. Wait. Dust. Is that how she says it?

Cheeto dust. It sounds like the. I'm a nasty woman. Should we put that on a shirt? Wait, should we put that on a shirt? New merch shirt. I'm going to put it on like a blanket. And I'm going to sell it.

I'm going gonna make pink hats and call them pussy hats all right let's go into some media because like you're freaking me the fuck out my media of the week is the shake shack meal bundle off of the app seamless wow wait but actually not enough people are talking about when you get shake shack delivered to your house they put the soda in the bag with it so it spills all over your meal and you get home and it's coated in fucking coca-cola and then you eat it and you're every once in a while you get a fry that's like a sugar fry because that's happened to me like actually six times it's fucking crazy you seem pissed i don't order shake shack because i literally don't post mates like that like i'm just like different

but that's me because i care about like the things i put in my body but you know i can say the same i i genuinely couldn't say the same thing about you oh you're nodding off that's good hello drew drew drew we're working get up I'm good We were saying imagine Drew front row at a fashion show During fashion week in this hat Nodding off Actually it would be I'm not kidding if I wore this hat

To anybody's fashion show I like one probably wouldn't get in But if by the grace of God I did get in I would be a viral clip and it would take away Everything from this fashion show Also nobody behind you would be able to see yeah that was what drew's connection fits because he was supposed to go see a movie but then he was like dude i have this fucking hat on and i'm gonna block anyone who's sitting behind me i can't sit inside this movie theater with this tall fucking hat on and block the people behind me sitting in

the front watching a movie but there's just like this big, like black gaping hole in the middle of the screen because of Drew's fucking hat. It's like a tunnel. Yep. All right, let's get onto some media. Oh yeah, let me check media real quick.

Oh, I fucking can't because my Spotify got deleted. Here, I'll let you look at your own. Well, no, my playlist, I have a bunch of private playlists. That's the thing. The thing of it all. Well, my only I have a bunch of Privated playlists That's the thing the thing of it all Well my only media of the week Is Amplified Heart by

Everything but the girl that whole album is so good See the thing about you is you lie And I don't know why you would lie Wait how is that a lie I didn't say it's my favorite album I said it's like my media of the week Ew Kai get your fucking toes out the camera bitch sorry you've had those socks since 1953 like actually let's be real your socks look like

you started the fucking sandlot with those like does that make sense look at those those are sandlot socks get them out of frame they stink is um uh like home makeover videos. I haven't been able to cry unless it's at people getting their homes revealed. What was that one guy? Wait, I wanted to have sex with him. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Move that bus. You know who I'm talking about. Oh, the extreme home makeover? Ty Pennington. Then this is my other. this is my song for media. Oh my God. I take that back. I think you used to look better than that.

You need to stop it. Yeah, right here. Yeah, see. That's like the... This song is fucking lit. We don't need no liberal Trump. We are winning. Vote for Trump. Yeah, see. That's like the. This song is fucking lit. There's the Cuban one. That those Cuban like. Whoa.

The baby kitten picture just popped into my iPhone. That those like Cuban guys and that girl made. Where it was like. I don't remember. Is it? What are you saying to me? No. They copied like a Selena flow, I think. I can't remember the song, but you know what I'm talking about.

It's like the Cuban like Trump anthem. Fuck you. Anyway, my media visually, I don't have anything because I literally haven't been watching anything and I don't care and you can't sue me. And then I already gave my my musical media and like that's it somebody I saw was like I can't get into the things that you listen to anymore that's it

I don't know why I fucking try to please you bitches you fucking hate me my other media is let go these nuts we're gonna get demonetized We're never monetized We're never monetized No we're monetized Barely

It like will barely Monetize our shit Or white girl freestyling It has 213 views White girl It just gonna get White girl Just look up white girl freestyle Oh this is my real media No my media of the week is

Girls farting Remember when this made me cry Oh yeah that's amazing This is unironically BC homecoming edition People who play In band in high school blow my mind. Like y'all. It's insane.

Like this right here. This is a freestyle. The guy. What is it? The main guy. Dude, humans are so crazy. Listen to it. Is something else playing on your phone?

Yeah. It's in the background. Maybe they do that every time. Hey! I of the video every time. Hey! I get chills every fucking time. This video. No, this part is like the... Is that a freestyle? Yes.

He's freestyling. The band behind him isn't. But he got like a bunch of full ride scholarships to a bunch of really prestigious band academies because of that video. But like this shit. Well, in high school, I was looking up how to roll blunt. Yeah. How to roll blunt with Bible paper. Actually, I'm like trying to find you guys music, but all of

my saved music is gone, so I'm scrolling through my likes on YouTube and everything on here. Why don't you just check your Spotify? Because he said all of his recently stuff is private.

Then all the other shit is like it's music but it's like fucking bladey ego baby i've probably already said that song oh my god blade ego baby suck my fucking balls hope you guys have like such a bad day that it makes you like reflect on your life in a very like introspective way um because you should know better and like do better and you figure your shit out figure it out i'm just being rough, but, you know.