Emergency Intercom - drunk episode

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

its enyas birthday so we decided to get really drunk for this episode. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's the big Christmas finale. No, it's not. What is it? We just did that. Oh. It's your birthday episode. Oh, it's my birthday, guys. I try to act like that doesn't exist.

I, like, actually literally hate attention on my birthday. It freaks me the fuck out. Like, I've always found it embarrassing. If you can go to anybody I went to school with, I never made a, like, a big fuss on my birthday it freaks me the fuck out like i've always found it embarrassing if you can go to anybody i went to school with i never made a like a big fuss about my birthday i never told anybody it was my birthday but then it was even more sad because people would like through the day like at least one teacher would be like oh it's anya's birthday and then everybody would turn to me and be like why didn't you say that like you're so weird and then they'd like over shower me and compliments and nice things for my birthday and

i would get so uncomfortable and i'd be like i literally avoided this so hard and now you're like forcing me into celebrating in front of everybody and i feel really uncomfortable you're gonna feel really terrible when no one comments happy birthday on your ig post so i'll be happy you know what's also crazy i post on my birthday every single year and i don't want to do it but i feel like i've kept up this like like tradition that I know when I'm older, I'm going to look back and be like, oh, all my little birthday posts. So I feel like I have to do it. But every time I do it, I literally feel sick.

I feel like for me, birthdays are like the one time of year I'm actually noticed. Like no one really sees me. I don't think that's beyond my birthday. So when I do get that birthday attention i savor it and it lasts me an entire year but it's split in half because of my dumb ass twin sister oh that is pretty annoying actually yeah but yeah i love my birthday um i have i'm turning 18 i know drew's like i think are we doing the birthday shot i don't know if we're allowed we we have to blur me taking the shot just because like yeah kai's taking it with us so

we're gonna cheers kai turned 30 this year guys no i don't oh fuck that's so gross that's like two years old like that's literally two years old is it alcoholic shelf stable oh my god cream soda fago i like i kind of do it's gonna be so gross but i'll take some oh my god um the cameras and audio i don't know if they were rolling but earlier kai said i love like drinking because it's like a pavlovian response because he knows he's gonna feel normal and i don't think that is normal that's okay i just feel i'm like oh i feel happy i'll side with you it's fun right like i feel you bro like it's awesome i already have no social cues and then when i drink they go even further down the gutter and then I always wake up and I'm like oh my god I spoke way too much and I

said way too much about myself and I'm really scared and nobody even remembers because everybody else was drunk so it's okay also well happy birthday thank you um while we were in Big Bear we all like every time we go to big bear so we do like a secret santa like friends christmas every year and last year this kind of started trickling in like this vibe of nobody really wanting to drink like and we're all realizing we're just getting to the age that getting like completely fucked up is not as fun because we're all like we're gonna have to like do stuff like we have to wake up tomorrow and that sounds like so painful and i'm not kidding we all like went

to the liquor store we got our alcohol we were like yes tonight we're gonna get fucked up we got back to the house and two hours had passed and we all like for the two hours we're like all right let's take a shot let's take a shot and then like three people would stand up and then be like the rest of us would be like no i really don't want to and we would all stand around and it took like three hours for us finally to get alcohol in our systems and it was really jarring because i was like wow we are we are aging well we are fully grown adults now like there's no denying it and like the idea of getting like blasted for no reason i'm trying to get blasted for no reason period well you have drew so oh yeah well there's always

reasons with true thank you okay so to start off this episode and his birthday extravaganza i wanted to talk about um the girl that faked that she could only walk normal backwards that's not a thing yes i thought you were gonna like describe gypsy rose for a second but the girl who said she could only walk backwards no that's a that's a literal real thing like a girl was she acting like her legs were turned backwards or like she like her parents taught her how to walk backwards also brilliant idea i'm doing that with my kid she had like i'm telling my kid they can only crawl that is a genius No, she had this like disorder that she made up after she got a vaccine where she like would speak in a British accent. It's in after she got a flu shot and it's called dystonia.

And then she got like a news story for her name is like Desiree Jennings or something like that, which sounds made up. But she like, and it could not be that girl, but I know for a fact there was a girl who had a full on news story where she would like run forward or she would start off walking backwards and then she'd turn around and try to run. And then she just fully faked, like she had this like muscle disorder

that like she would like shake a bunch. I remember this. It came out as it was all fake there was like a news this was like decades ago wasn't it like in australia or something probably it was it was maybe she just had an australian accent that's what it was like but it was like probably 10 or 12 years ago wait so they found out she was lying or what yeah yeah yeah they came out that she was faking the whole time and everyone in the and i believe that i was like okay wait did she do this in her social circles or only on camera because like everyone everyone okay because

i was gonna say she only did it on camera like she had real g's behind her because like i would have snitched immediately like i literally would have been like bitch i would have recorded her the instant i saw her walking around and be like bitch this bitch is a liar like fuck her i want her dead no yeah it was it was like this big thing where she just faked walking backwards for like a year or two of her life for what because i mean she got on the news she probably made a fucking bag dude while she was doing it it didn't come out until like years later that it wasn't real because all these doctors were like bro that's not how dystonia works like why are you claiming that also dystonia sounds like a playboy cardi album like dystonia works. Why are you claiming that you did that from a flu shot? Also, Dystonia sounds like a Playboy Cardi album.

Dystonia doesn't sound like a real thing. Narcissist. I'm a narcissist. But yeah, I just wanted to briefly touch on her. You want to touch on her? And if you get the chance, why briefly? You know what I mean? Oh, he's hitting his head against the wall. I'm stupid. I'm stupid wall I'm stupid I'm stupid

Drew calm down those are my favorite fucking videos when the girl catches the guy for cheating and you're like I'm fucking stupid don't leave me I'm fucking stupid I'm stupid I'm stupid like at that point why not just take it to the chest and be like yeah bitch fuck you

like fuck you if somebody put a camera on me in a moment like yeah bitch fuck you like fuck you like i if somebody put a camera on me in a moment like that i think i would turn into like the evilest person ever i'd be like and your pussy sinks now what now what like i would literally become the worst person ever is i wrote a note down in the car where i just like thought about like anytime i like this isn't specifically you but there have been a couple times where i'm just like holy shit like in you like can like turn on a switch and say like the meanest thing possible like in like a in a funny way and i was just thinking about like times that's happened and i wrote down something

that you would say and you tell me if you would say it or not okay this isn't helping my bitch rumors my bitch allegations no no it's like always fun oh no for my birthday let's call me a bitch it's never never not funny oh my god like literally everyone hold on well what i will say is i'm good at like holding my tongue like there are moments where like i'll be in like a like a funny cat like caddy back and forth with somebody and i'll think of something that's literally not funny that's just mean and i will hold it back like i literally did to josiah in front of josh and christian and lucas while we were in big bear and he said something to me that actually pissed me off and i thought of the meanest thing i could think of and then he walked away and i told josh and like drew our

josh and christian and we were all cracking up we were like yeah we don't need to say that to him and then he came back and he was like what did y'all say and i was like oh i just like made something up but he was like that's stupid and left and i was like okay i'm gonna let him think he started getting catty this weekend he started saying literally we'll say the craziest shit i'm like hello okay so this is what i have i hope your cock falls off and you slip in the blood and crack your head open and you never fully recover so your parents have to feed and bathe you like a baby until you rot away and then yeah yeah i literally said something like that recently we're gonna have to bleep this because it's like too specific but i literally to ryan i was like yeah i hope we don't have to bleep that yeah no we know we must it's only suspect if we bleep it

no let it be suspect we have to bleep and blur my mouth because i'm like actually terrified i feel like i'm being like wait what was that demi lovato movie when she was like in a disney movie and she was in secret service like she was being protected i have no no idea. Why did they make that? Like why was she actually being hunted? Like that's kind of like fearful like that struck fear into me. I don't know what you're referencing. Dude it's a That was actually like so loud. That felt like I was watching a commercial.

That was perfect. Like that was It's the drunk episode. Hey party. Kaisa already threw you a white We're all drunk except Drew because Drew's better than us I guess. No I have a shot and that's like that doesn't make you like drunk my love like okay should we force him to drink alcohol like you should drink more we're not gonna let you drive home until you don't want me to be drunk no that's gross don't do that you don't want me to be drunk you want to see me fucking drunk it was supposed to be like a fun thing and now you're just gonna oh my god okay

stop stop jesus christ okay now stop oh you should actually grab it because that's this is why you're not allowed to drink i need to breathe this is why you're not allowed to drink true oh my stop like does that not taste bad like stop it fuck you but that was only like 18 shots like you're gonna die like you're not gonna like did he drink like a third of the bottle uh and y'all are bitches and like you probably couldn't even drink a fifth of the bottle why would we want to drink a fifth of a bottle like because it's fucking lit would want to drink a fifth of a bottle i guess a fifth of a bottle isn't that much should we do i agree with you guys i'm not gonna be that liar like i don't want to be like left out should we do this on you or me um i don't know we have a bac reader i am like actually a little drunk off that shot like actually should i do it on myself okay to prove that we are drinking

i don't know why we're doing this honestly i just thought it'd be fun i've never had this i was honestly high as fuck on amazon and i found a breathalyzer and i keep watching videos of people getting pulled over and like hitting a breathalyzer and i saw this girl who they were like they were like hit it hit it and she kept sucking on it and like she kept sucking on it. Oh, I saw that one. She kept sucking on it like it was a fucking box mod vape. And they were just like, no, blow on it. Blow. And we were going to do a whole bit, but now we're... Dude, it smells.

It actually smells like cream pie. What do you mean by that? Okay, I'm going to do this while you do that. I justapsed y'all i just relapsed this is my new vape dude oh my god it feels like i'm in a fucking hookah lounge okay i'm gonna do this okay let's see what we read guys i'm actually scared a point 11 point is that i don't know what does that mean i don't know what the legal limit is because like the thing is a bitch like me i will always take that fucking uber like you're weird as fuck if you get in your car like after you drink how do you that's just me

motherfucker hello it's just showing off because it's the highest it's ever read 0.11 oh legal limit is 0.08 damn bitch so i'd be going to jail rightfully so oh it's saying 20 seconds there's no way that's real okay actually how do they expect anybody to blow in this for this long like i'm genuinely shocked you're gonna have the most accurate oh oh i'm like so lightheaded i literally can't do that again that's okay oh wait i think i changed the mode like why is it doing that well i want to see what my reading is that's what i would do if the cops gave this to me i'd be like here let me like let me fix this because i should be blowing like this is weird like it should be blowing like triple zeros and i don't know why it's doing that have i told this story on the podcast of when i blew triple zeros and i don't know what's doing that have i told this story on the podcast of when i blew triple zeros and the cops try to go i just thought of somebody doing this and being

drunk as fuck behind the wheel and fainting after doing it because you have to put so much like what are they gonna put your like faint body in jail um okay so i am perfectly the legal limit yeah i guess but that is crazy you only took a shot and that's where you're at it is insane how much it like differs from person to person yeah imagine uh you post a baby picture and it flops like your baby's born and you post it on your ig and it just flops down dude imagine you like make an ig account for your baby and it flops like it gets like 200 followers like that's so embarrassing like would you tell your baby like would you be like hey like when they're eight would you be like hey by the way i made you an ig when you were two and you just weren't cute enough

yeah you didn't laugh enough on ig you were really ugly you didn't have the gerber laugh so nobody fucked with you i genuinely think if i did anything other than weed i would die like i can barely handle weed like i i always think speaking of my birthday i always think of last year on my birthday when i got so high and like my tolerance was still really low last year um and I got so high that I felt the effects where I was like I literally this has to be so similar to what psychedelics do to the average person because I felt so like intimately connected to everybody around me and when we were at that dinner like and we were on the drive home and listening to gentle on my mind I felt so emotional and I was just like sobbing in the car

and i got upstairs and i was like just sobbing in the house and i always think about that because i'm like that is proof enough that i don't need to do a psychedelic or anything other than weed because i think i would like actually like i i genuinely think i would overtake the world like i would like unlock something like so deep that no human needs to like have. And yeah, that's my birthday memory. And I don't know what we're going to do this year. It's probably not going to live up to that, honestly,

because nobody gives a fuck about me. I also saw an article that was like, oh, people born in January, like don't get enough love for their birthday. And I agree with that. I saw that. You don't get enough gifts.

Nobody gives a fuck about me. I get you a gift every year. And I damn well near think I got you the best gift, if not the best gift this year you ever got. You did. And I damn well near think I got you the best gift, if not the best gift this year you ever got. You did. And I still think about, like, I feel so bad about my reaction. But it literally hurt me so fucking bad. So we went to Big Bear.

We did our Secret Santa. And Josh got me a Nike tech set, which I've been wanting for so long. Can I tell you a secret? What? Oh, of course. Yeah, I don't think I've ever mentioned that to him. But he got me a Nike tech set and I was so shocked by it that I literally was like, gas and screamed. And it's a sick-ass tech suit.

And also, once I put it on, something unlocked in me and I danced all fucking night in that damn tech set and I felt amazing. And Drew got me a black doll that looks like me and it is awesome i have like i got it custom to be fair i have 10 times more photos of that than i do of my tech set like i have no pictures of your iphone background yeah it literally is my background you have a video of you in the tech set dancing around yeah but that's also because like that was the first time i got drunk with friends in so long but my background is my blithe doll that looks like me and i love her so much just like her kai yeah it's in the room right oh you saw it yeah it's on my like uh fireplace area yeah it was maybe the best gift i've ever gotten you know and it was so fucking expensive really the girl was lit like she

like walked me through the whole process like the tattoo makes it everything because that was the other thing is i i was thinking about it because i was like talking to ryan i was like i feel bad that my reaction wasn't as like vibrant but once i like put her in the other dress and saw her tattoos and cut her bangs i was like oh my god this is so weird it's literally a little me and then i put her up on the window for the rest of the big bear trip she was sitting in the sun she was hanging out with us i put her to bed i have a video of me putting her to bed i didn't close her eyes so she looks really scary in that video and i won't post it but i love that doll so much and it sits above my bed but i literally want to like i want to get into crazy like i want to get her like boots i literally ordered a dress

that looks like her dress so i could take a picture with her like i like i want to get her like boots i literally ordered a dress that looks like her dress so i could take a picture with her like i like literally want like a cunty blithe doll for me not of myself but i want to get one that i can sound really scary no they should not exist they don't sound like a vibe like boys playing with dolls i'm not dolls with both of you guys what what what do you do with them they're just for me though like for you how they're just for me like to look at her i don't want to talk about that but i just wanted to share because you're it's topical you're you made it but we didn't know i know but if you're not yeah if you're not going to give detail why like bring it up it doesn't matter what i do with the dolls or like

what where we go if you're already having sex with Drew you don't have to have a doll with him you have to wait you bring them places yeah we go on trips and shit but again it doesn't matter I was just saying like oh I also made a doll of you guys and it's like photorealistic of both of you guys photorealistic it's like the scariest doll ever it's like a latex

mask over the doll what I got Josh I'm gonna go get it he has to go get it from the car i told him he didn't have to that he wants to but i got josh a goaded i literally am drunk enough that i don't know what you got him right when you see it you're gonna be gagged but let's just say like i love the people in my life and I remember everything they say to me and I just hold the relationships I have very close to my heart and everybody is special to me Kai and yeah a little less than everybody else but I love y'all wait both of us are going on your level yeah just just I honestly I'll take it though no no you are i know if you're on my level then like you're pretty up there you're just as special to me as every single person in

my life i'm trying to think of what you want sorry can we just pause for a second also like i literally keep thinking about in big bear like we all did this thing in the secret santa circle where we were like okay everybody close your eyes and the person who got you the gift will just get up and we went in a circle oh you did get the best gift i got the best gift i got a photo of that wait can i see it that is so sick i got a doll made of josh j gangster oh it's so good that is so sick it is really good also josh had oh um please turn because your chair is stuck to you right now i saw a tiktok of somebody who stole a bit of the chair from the pop-up and they were like me when i'm spending the night with a piece of drew's chair and it was like to like the cranberries or something and they were like playing with it in their bed and it

was like rolling around you need to send that to me because that's fucking awesome yeah um i also ripped off pieces of the chair and gave it to people yeah um but when we were sitting around for secret santa we were like okay we're just gonna go in like a carousel motion so nobody knows who got anybody and when it got to lucas i had gotten lucas that year or this year and we were all sitting around in my like i i was completely sober it was like the middle of the afternoon and everybody was like who got lucas i was just like like looking around i was like oh my god i'm literally brain dead as fuck because we're sitting here we're all like who got him and then i started feeling the feeling of like oh my god nobody got lucas a gift meanwhile i was the one who got him his fucking gifts and he loved it did

i show you what i got it was so good it was dude it's so awesome it's so like you could get lucas like a pile of shit with googly eyes on it and he would love it like he is so fine no but my gift was fucking lit yeah no i wish i had like a a picture of it but i got him an airbrushed um shirt with this on it kitty kitty purr purr which like i don't think he cares about this picture as much as i do oh i think you did show me this yeah i got him like an airbrushed hoodie with that on the front he literally was so happy we'll insert the video of him like literally geeking over it. Turn it around.

And he loved it so much. And what a gorgeous little time. And I love my friends. Yeah, we like kind of just sat inside. We played charades for literally two hours that was so fucking fun it was fun as fuck like we need to all get together like when we do karaoke night like maybe for my birthday we play charades again have you played charades kai yes i've played charades okay because we need to we all he was alive before there were iphones like he's

we all need so are we you guys were alive before iphones too um but iPhones we all need so were we I guess we were but yeah we all need to play that because it's fun it's crazy fuck no we were we've seen every generation of iPhone come out that's so sick

oh my god guys I love how you believed that too you said it and you were like i got his ass i got his old dusty ass and you're old and dusty bitch bitch i owned an ipod touch it was still called touch because that was amazing like that you can touch the screen i touch no no oh yeah never mind that must have been a norcal thing or something um but for uh well did y'all have the emoji app before you could text emojis and i just had an app of the emojis and i would scroll through it and look at it because i love collecting little things

and i love that goddamn app someone out there knows what i'm talking about but like i don't know about that one i didn't have texting so i just would look at the emoji oh yeah i had an ipod touch but my phone for a long time i had a android like i had a samsung phone and that's why like on my phone now i still like to swipe to text and have that especially when i have nails because i used to have samsung phones like you had an android green text green text green text wow

oh did you know they're getting rid of green text basically oh yeah I did see that yeah they're all getting yeah like you're gonna be able to read no more classism guys you better kiss classism goodbye we fixed it we

fixed it we have solved everything we're watching this show called the trust and a kid got on there and was like i'm a millionaire and uh then like kind of was victimizing himself for being a millionaire but he was also really drunk craziest vibe i've ever seen like okay we shouldn't spoil it yeah i don't i won't spoil it we'll tell you after or we'll show you the scene after but it is kai like it is literally like you could have written that into a comedy sketch because he said exactly what you should not say to somebody who didn't come from money it was like i never had to steal i can't relate to you. I can't relate to you at all. It was crazy.

It was so bad. Have you guys watched The Jinx? No. Is that reality TV? It's really good. Fuck, I want to spoil it. Basically, it's about this guy, whether or not he murdered someone. And it all leads up to this episode where at the end, he goes to the bathroom.

And he's like, yeah yeah i fucking murdered that bitch oh i saw that you saw i've seen that clip dude he killed someone and then he thought his he didn't know his microphone was still on after doing like this interview saying he didn't kill him and he was peeing in the bathroom and was like wait is this real fucking murdered yeah it's real and he's like yeah i fucking murdered that bitch like they're all dead like blah blah blah and he's like mumbling to himself it's an entire documentary where they're trying to catch him and then on the last week where they're filming it his love is on and he goes to the bathroom and he admits to everything and like a weird schizophrenic yeah it was so crazy fucking awesome dude he was so hyped on himself he had to talk to

himself about it he was like dude nobody's gonna fucking believe that no he was saying like oh they all know they all know yeah yeah and what i love is like that's kind of relatable i feel like i've talked to myself when i thought i was alone i'm like admitted shit yeah it's just like i don't know it's such like a funny dude it was so weird last time kai thought he was alone and i was standing outside the bathroom and he said i fucking love drew i love him and i was like kai like you love me it's purely like i have love for you and i love you like as a friend but like you love me well it's not you heard it but it was through the wall i said i love drew's hole oh i don't think so i feel like you would have picked up on that if that's what he said i don't know man it just sounded like he said he loved me also that

just reminded me i've like okay he caught feelings it's easy to catch feelings with me it's easy to catch feelings not flights or catch flights not feelings i just know it's bubblegum pink. Ew, motherfucker. Fuck, what was my response to that? What was my... How would we know? Oh, yeah. What's the lean one? We can reset. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Catch feelings, not flights. Or fuck, catch flights, not feelings. I just know it's bubblegum pink. No, it's purple like lean. Dude, whoa. it's purple like lean whoa well today at the gym i was watching this video and um i try not to watch like murder investigations anymore because i think they're so bad for you and like it does make me feel a little weird because i'm like somebody literally died in this but i like watch them but i was watching one today that actually like i couldn't believe this man killed his grandpa and then the he called the police and he was like oh it's a veteran like

he's my grandpa it was in self-defense whatever and the police like kind of believed him because they were like oh okay like he probably had like a ptsd freak out whatever bitch he pulled his grandpa's ears out of his pockets like he literally was like they were like and where's your uncle and he was like oh my uncle where's my uncle and he pulled out his grandpa's ear and the police officers looked over and they were like oh can we take a picture of that and he literally held out his grandpa's ears like he was like doing like an asmr like a makeup tutorial like he literally held him out and was like yeah it's my grandpa's ears um and that freaked me out because i was like damn i feel like i've watched a lot of like crazy shit but for somebody to pull someone's ears out like a bitch that was fucking crazy and then i just ran

to a song i really liked like as if nothing happened because yeah it's like you falling asleep to someone being beheaded like it's crazy i actually did like finally finish a murder investigation. Stop, motherfucker. I believe you. Got him. Got him. I am so embarrassed at the idea that I am like drunk on camera right now. Because every time I wake up from being drunk, I'm like, oh my God, what if I slurred my words a little bit? And I'm so scared that I'm slurring right now and that I'm going to have to wake up and listen to this. And it's freaking me the fuck out.

Should I tell about the Tom Hollandlland bit i did i hated that okay so we went to a diner after throwing i can't wait to like throw the video up on screen because you could see me thinking like i don't think i've ever blinked that hard in my life yeah so i um we went axe throwing and then there was like a diner in the same parking lot. And we were all like, let's go get food. Let's go get food. And I was like, oh, I have a bunch of food at the house, so I'm not going to eat right now. And I went home and made 80 dinosaur chicken nuggets and smiley french fries

and a hungry jacked two chicken fried steak with macaroni and cheese and ate fucking down but um at the diner i was like i don't think i'm gonna eat and the waiter came over and was like what does everybody want to eat and i sat in my seat and i was like hmm like am i gonna get am i gonna get food like should i eat did he ask the table to he was like should i no i shouldn't order and i was like oh actually i am gonna order and i said can i get the tom hollenberger hold the spiders and and the dude was like yeah and started writing it down and i was like fuck no never mind like that was a joke i'm sorry it was not funny and everybody's faces we were dead silent like none of us laughed like we were dead silent all like half of us at the table literally

put our heads like into our hands and we were like oh my god and in the video you could see me slow blink at drew like 18 times because i could feel like at first my thought process was like there's no way he's taking this long to order like i was like yeah just like i was like if you're not gonna order don't order with this man right now and i was just looking at you and like blinking so much like i literally no but you have to tell me like can i get a tom hollenberger hold the spiders like that's a good joke i've all no it's not and i've never heard that in my life and i was so confused because i made it up dude all of us like literally everybody at the table was like can I get the Wednesday Adams burgers hold the cobwebs

oh my god and he told none of us he was gonna do it and I saw your phone in your hand and I was like why is he holding his phone like that oh yeah I was recording yeah watch the video did you send it yeah I watched the video. Did you send it? Yeah. Should I order?

I'm probably getting interested. Can I get the Tom Holland burger and all the spiders? Do you think Josh going away is that like on the menu? Can I get a domestic beer? I'm sorry? Just the beer. Okay. Can I have it? Yes. Breakfast free. all of us like dead silent like none of us laugh to be fair like we are also like i will say we didn't laugh because all of us were like we don't want this waiter to feel like he's being fucking bullied so all of us did want to laugh at drew but we were we were all like we can't laugh right now this waiter is gonna feel like he's being

bullied but all of us were like this is like not reaction right after you say it um should i order i'm probably gonna just get something i'll probably can i get the tom hollenberger and hold the spiders i know i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i'm not gonna get anything okay i'm not gonna get anything can i get um can i get uh the breakfast burrito and can i get um a domestic beer i'm sorry um dude like rewatch it look how much I blink while he's talking like it's actually insane that was the equivalent of like my spray on bitches like

like I'm literally looking at him I don't think I blink that often in conversation like I think I was literally eating his words with my eyes and like trying to like process what was happening dude that's like the funniest thing i've ever seen i swear to god can i get the aquaman burger hold the aqua no

hold the aqua guy's losing it he loves that shit he loves that shit and yeah jay and joe and drew all right um well i decided that cheerleaders honestly get the privilege to be mean in high school because like that shit makes no sense like if i could do a backflip on a bitch who i was beefing with like you get the right to be a fucking cunt yeah we were watching um the world's cheer competition 2009 top gun top gun supremacy like they run shit like they're on top we all know this they're the best cheer group point blank period that's if you're a cheerleader who you aspire to be or what team you aspire to be on like they're the goats like i said it um but there i said it it's like as if it's all like

we were watching my hot take yeah we were watching the like, competition worlds or whatever it's called. And we were dying laughing because, like, how the fuck is any of that shit possible? Like, how do you do that? Like, that is actually insane that they could, like, go to a bar and do that in the middle of a bar. Like, I wish, I, like, I think this year I need to learn how to do a flip. Because imagine my body doing that. Like, that would be so fucking funny if i was in the middle of like tenants and i just started flipping around like could you imagine like if i was just talking to somebody i was like oh hold my drink hold on and i just did a backflip like that would be so fucking

funny but i actually think like if you can't do that as a kid you can't do it as an adult like i don't think at 25 years of age i could just be like i'm gonna learn how to like do a backflip you would be a flyer you wouldn't even be doing all the flips on the ground you'd be like being tossed in the air who's gonna fucking toss me in the air at tenants like y'all are gonna toss me up okay fucking bleep that devin lee carlson and sidney i could could get Devin and Sidney to flip me up. Yeah, they'll be your base, and Devin and Sidney will throw you up in the air,

and I'll be doing my standing fools. Standing fool, what's that? It's where they do, like, the corkscrew flip. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, that's what I thought about, though, is, like, bitches that do know how to backflip, specifically men, just do it all the time. And, like like i can't even fault them for it because like bitch if i could do a backflip y'all would never not see me the second a camera got on me i'd do a fucking backflip are you kidding me that would be so

annoying it'd be like oh don't put it like don't take a picture of anya she's gonna do a backflip like don't put a camera on her like she's gonna do a fucking backflip like because i see a camera and i immediately start to perform imagine if i could flip around like i'd be flipping like a bitch like i'd be flipping crazy so i think this year that's my goal is like my three hobbies is learning lap steel guitar learning how to woodcarve and back flipping yeah and maybe training for a man is training for the emp to explode she's gonna like barter whittled spoons and play lap steel guitar um when i was like 16 i begged my mom to buy me a vape online she had no idea what it was and she was so close to buying it for me she was so close and she was like wait no i'm not buying you this shit and i was like fuck so we had my

friend's older brother buy us a vape and he bought us like those shitty like open like now they're full of weed oil but back then they had like vape juice in them and i'm not kidding for like three months straight i sat in the closet oh drew's in the closet drew's in the closet oh he was in the closet no one was gonna say that oh fucking God. Everyone's already commenting it. But I sat in the closet for like three months. Only three months. And practiced vape tricks like for three months straight. Like it was crazy.

Like I would, because there was no airflow or draft. So I would just sit in there and just like teach myself how to do like ghosts and O's. I can't do any like tricks with a vape like if i hit that like it would just make me want to throw up it's literally like riding a bike once you learn how to do it it sticks with you for the rest of your life because like there's no reason why i should be able to pick up that box mod and blow oh still and it's been like fucking years since i like tried to do it it's lit it's lit i'm lit should we do psyop corner or like um y'all ever had demonic benadryl dreams no when you were saying that the other day i was like

damn i just haven't had that because my addiction was like melatonin. Like I was addicted to like melatonin. And actually like when I was like 17, like don't do this. And this is my like warning. But I used to be like, oh, I like because I do have a hard time sleeping naturally. Like I will stay up all night, especially because I have access to my fucking iPhone. And when I was 17. I go to sleep like so easily. Yeah, bitch, because you eat and then you knock out because you have

fucking pre-diabetes like yeah i'm pre-diabetic i said it and i'll say it again drew the other night like or last night when we were about to watch this like episode of this reality tv show we're watching with josh he was like oh i'm gonna wait for my food he got his food and then just held on to the back because he can't eat because if he eats he'll go to sleep so in my head i didn't want to say anything to him i was like why did you make us wait for your food when you can't eat it i thought about it and i was like oh she's gonna like say some shit to me but you didn't and i hold it back and then i saved it for today you saved it to air me out um but i used to be like oh i like can't sleep unless i take like two shots of something and i literally was like an alcoholic addicted to melatonin for like

two years from 17 to 19 and i would be like oh no like i would keep a bottle of vodka under my bed i can't sleep unless i don't do that because i learned the hard way i was like oh okay like this is not good wait were you is this real i can't tell swear to god you would take two shots of vodka only my boyfriend at the time knew about it and i was this this was from 17 to like 19 and yeah that is crazy yeah and i i would only be able to sleep if i like took melatonin and drank that's a crazy reveal for episode 129 well now i don't do that anymore like now i don't i i will not give myself anything in order to sleep i'm like if i'm gonna stay up late i'm gonna have a late night that is the way it is that is the way

god intended it to be but yeah i used to do that and then my boyfriend at the time was like hey like you shouldn't do that because like that's like a sign of something bad. And I was like, girl, shut up. And I just kept doing it. And then my parents found my bottle under my bed when I was in Miami. And they were like, that's not good. I do recall like you telling me this. Yeah, my parents found my bottle and they were like, you shouldn't be doing that.

I was like, girl, shut up. And then I went to L.A. and I would, when we were at 1304, I used to have to drink to sleep. That's crazy. And then I entered my year of rest and relaxation where I would just take like 80 milligrams of melatonin to go to sleep. And you literally like created my year of rest and relaxation. That's why I can't read that book. I can't finish it because I was reading it and I was like, this was literally my life for like two years. It was crazy.

So a lot of y'all read that shit but i lived that shit like we're different like i'm not you i can't go to sleep unless i smoke meth and stay up for four days and exhaust my body so much that it just collapses i fucking love me the way you act sober if you were on meth i'd be fucking terrified like i literally i don't know like i can't imagine what you would be doing i would probably be like more normal somehow yeah it would do the opposite yeah um well oh this is so exciting this is the last thing we'll talk about this is so apple vision pro pre-buy date on the 19th shipping on the second so when this comes out, Drew will have his order in. Yeah. Insider information coming very fucking soon. And I have a friend, Parker, that went and Parker Kithill that went to try it out for the first time.

And he wore it and he was like, it was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life. He was like, it was so special. Oh, my God. So special. And it was like he left that thing thinking like oh my god i don't want to take this off and i want it built into my eyeballs like as contacts and like it's going to be a problem for a lot of people because it's so real spoiler alert me and drew are going to get some and spoiler alert uh black mirror that episode where people those two guys get vr like yeah

and they start having sex and they fuck with their like fortnite characters that's probably what's about to happen so and me and any are doing that no i'm just okay well then our life okay i was gonna say well then i'm gonna get like an avatar made of you i have sex with my avatar but i'm right here like why are you doing all that i don't know man i like literally will never touch that thing unless if you could play fortnite on it oh you can play fortnite on it can you actually the fortnite screen would just be what you see am i gonna get one it'll be it'll be first person third person fortnite oh my god wow that would be amazing that's so bad like i actually this year it's a mission to third person fortnight oh my god wow that would be amazing that's so bad

like i actually this year it's a mission to stop playing fortnight as much because i play it so much because i love to disappear and not do this anymore and like just disassociate from my life and i get dopamine rush and i get to post it on my close friends and nobody cares about it nobody ever interacts with it but it brings me so much joy and nobody cares but i have 122 skins so you have 122 it's so gross i don't even know how many emotes i have but like i easily have like 200 emotes because i buy more emotes than i feel like i need to bleep that yeah have i ever told a story about how i followed parker kit hill to the mall and stalked him you followed him into like a store i was such

a big fan of his like literally he was so iconic to me still is um and he's also like so beloved in brazil that like he's like a celebrity there i have to pee so bad i'm sorry crawl under the table girl i'm gonna explore it go piss group i have a vivid memory of like whenever lollipop by lil wayne came out me and my sister were sitting in my dad's truck with him and we were going home from school and me and my sister were singing lollipop and like obviously it's a sexual song and he just turned us he was like lollipop it's sex i thought it was literally about licking lollipops no it's a sexual song and he just turned us he was like lollipop it's sex i thought it was literally about licking lollipops no it's about like sucking dick this is awkward

fuck guys losing his shit over there i got the whole squad laughing with that one um but my dad like we were uh singing it like and we knew all the words and my dad just looked at us he was like you will never hear that song again and he turned off the radio and we rode home in silence honestly rightfully so because i think i was in like fourth grade when that came out and my dad was like yeah you're not allowed to listen to that. And that was the only song I was told that I couldn't listen to growing up. And bitch, I still sang it at school.

You can't fucking stop me. No, literally no. Well, I have another, a similar memory with Lil Wayne. And I watched a man have a stroke and die and bleed out of his mouth and eyes in front of me. And then I watched him die at my feet. And then I got ushered to the car and had to listen to a milli on repeat over and over and over again. And I still cannot hear that song to this day without thinking of that man's dead body. Okay, that's not like as cool of a memory.

Okay. Drew's Psyop Corner. I'm trying to like a new... Drew's Psyop Corner. do you want me to design a new yeah i haven't been doing it for like five episodes i'll make a really good one though yeah cook some shit up welcome to drew's psyop corner co-. How about you co-ket a job? Like go get a job? Yeah.

Okay, yeah. Bitches be broken spiritual. You need to, to, to look for a... Fuck. Bitches be broken spiritual. You need to, to, to look for, for, for a job. Okay. Shout out Kelly H. 444 a job okay shout out kelly h um wait hold on wait what was the horse pussy one i hate bitches that pee loud as fuck with their horse pussy or some shit like that. It sounds like you're frying pork chops.

No, it was like, what are you gonna do? Like, wake up a horse? Wait, what? Wait, no. You remember this Psy Off Corner? It was like Oh, like, imagine having to have sex in the olden days. Like, you have to wake up a horse to go fuck

or some shit. To go get some pussy or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, the idea of waking up a horse so you can go and fuck for like two minutes is crazy. Imagine your card declines at the hookah lounge and they delete your Snapchat stories. Chloe S. That is so insane okay I got one more if I come to your house and I see a roach in your microwave

I'm gonna press start it's gonna pop we don't have a microwave famously shout out Barbie famously we don't have a microwave famously shout out barbie famously we don't have a microwave yeah does she have one yes oh yeah she does rain doesn't have one and she keeps talking about it i'm like no i have no microwave don't get it it's literally the worst vibe ever not having a microwave like i'm so hungry right now i have to eat this shit cold as fuck it sucks so bad it's like never been a vibe we thought about getting a toaster oven for a while but it's I'm so hungry right now. I have to eat this shit cold as fuck. It sucks so bad.

It's like never been a vibe. We thought about getting a toaster oven for a while, but it would just look scary on our counter. We already have so much shit on there. Look how uggo that is over there. What do you mean it would look scary on your counter? Because that's what I'm saying. We have so much shit already.

What are we going to do? Throw a microwave on top of it? That's exactly what I mean. I feel like you have so much you have so many items here that i feel like it would not be crazy to have a toaster in it kaya's our house like overwhelming to walk into okay i swear to god in the last six months the amount of like objects that have accumulated in this house it looks like like name one item in this fucking photo. The stroke image. The first AI image.

No, it's alive in here. It's gotten out of control. We need a new house. We need to just leave everything behind. Okay, let's do some media. Media, Immaterial, Sophie, Remind Me, Royce Copp, Starfruits, Surf Rider, Cornelius, and now hold on, hold on, hold on. Listen to the album Pacific by Haromi, I can't say his last name. Hosono. Harumi.

Harumi Hosono. Oh, I don't have my glasses on. Yeah, Harumi Hosono. Yeah, this album is lit. Third track is amazing. Yeah, it's really, really good album. Shout out, Julian. Peace and love. Mine is Clouds Across the moon by the raw band okay but that's literally not yours like media that you chose for this week so like but it is

it's like right here it's weird to cut me off and like say that so it's 16 and 17 by Dean Blunt. Overkill by Men At Work. I love that song. Like I listen to it way too much. It has been on repeat. Love Bomber. Oh yeah. Love Bomber by Head Rush. Just For Now, Imogen Heap.

Felix Amica from Saltburn Soundtrack. And Crazy World by King Ghidorah. And yeah. And Third Coast by Tizo Touchdown. All right. Guys, happy birthday to me. I probably won't make it into next week. So this is the last footage of me you're ever going to see. So it's really sad.

I'm going to die at 25. Oh, my God. I just realized what I was looking at. And I was just looking at this, watching like four different videos at once. Your discovery feed is fucking disgusting. Dude, no, I'm like a grown ass man. There's not a single human on there. Like there's no human faces. No, I'm a grown man and this is my discovery feed.

Like it's really, really funny. Bye guys. Good night. Peace and love