Emergency Intercom - Enya And Orion Went On A Trip Without Drew

Episode Date: June 25, 2022

Enya is in Paris because she’s walking in fashion week, debates with Drew about what’s more influential the invention of language or the internet and pooping in public pools. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Happy Pride, Drew. Kill yourself. I was literally doing something nice. I'm straight. I don't need none of that pride okay everybody with pride pride is a seven deadly sin one of the seven deadly sins along with being gay you're having pride for being gay um a lot you said pride is one of um the it's literally true is that actually what are the it's like pride less gluttony

ego yeah mama's vagina her her cooter bronson it's deadly that's for damn sure the clitoris hood hi can i lift the hood of your clitoris can i take a peek under there hi um also i just want to clarify we're doing a zoom episode because um I'm still in Paris because I'm walking I'm walking this week for fashion week yeah so famous yeah I can't say who I'm walking for but Jacques Mousse yes you were the new Jacques Mousse Nike collection i at the top of my head was trying to like think of something that rhymed with like coochie and i was gonna say jacques mousse let me see your jacques mousse can i see your jacques mousse i'm walking for gucci's coochie

coochie couture i'm gonna start a kuchikator line me and drew haven't seen each other for so long it has been two weeks and we have like refrained from talking to each other to give y'all the best experience possible with this podcast also because i don't like talking to drew in my three time if i'm gonna be honest but that's just me being honest like what that's that's like the meanest thing i think of anybody has like actually ever said to me oh you'd rather have a friend that's a liar that's what you're saying that's what you're saying right now yeah that you would rather just have a friend i would rather have a friend who lied and talked shit behind my back than was mean to my face like 100 would you actually

yeah because if it's not to my face then how is it gonna hurt me like if they're fake and they're nice to me in person but then they go behind my back and talk shit like who cares they're nice to me in person but what if it gets to you like what if he it's like you everybody's a liar these days i don't trust anybody and that's actually every single high schooler when they had their first like fight with their friend they're like no i know i would rather have a friend to talk shit because then i would simply cut them off like i like to my face because then i would just like i'm not your friend anymore like we're done we need to bring telling people to kill themselves oh

i don't know if that's something to like bring back like i thought i think we're going through the reform of like stopping but they brought back y2k they brought back indie sleaze it's time to bring back telling people to kill themselves look like i don't mean i don't when i say it i don't mean for people to like actually going off themselves it's like saying like fuck you yeah it's i i like saying it it's it's like comical to say it like i'm just saying it as a joke and if you i'm reclaiming it i'm reclaiming the word i'm just like were you gonna fucking say something don't fucking talk over me me me being the one that talks over you no we talk over each other so much but i i don't know did we mention this in an episode there was like this podcast or there was this tiktok that somebody had like um are you feeling yourself were you taking a

selfie you actually have a really nice side profile actually like it looks really good i'm not gonna do it because actually like every time i see my side profile when we have to rewatch are you swallowing your your chin right now what is it called i'm glucking it's where you like suck your tongue up no it's mewing yes glucking got gawk why is it called gawk gawk 3000 why did we agree on that gawk gawk because it's this no because it's like the sound like someone makes when like they're giving head. Gawk, gawk? Well, no, it's like- I'm giving that gawk gawk 3000. Have you never like heard like- Have you heard of LGBTQ plus community?

No, I haven't. I'm not a part of the LGBTQ community. I just laughed so hard i i leaked a little i'm not gonna lie y'all i just leaked um since i'm traveling i don't have my diva cup and why do you say i literally didn't say anything i didn't say show the camera of your little stain that is so gross but since i'm traveling and i don't have my diva cup i have to use tampons and i actually think tampons are the worst thing ever like that i'd have to disagree with you and once you like what's your take like what do you like about tampons true uh like it has to feel good going in

you think you think there's um sexual pleasure in inserting a tampon oh wait have you ever put because you put a tampon in your butt so you know it's pleasurable yeah don't look at me why drew show yourself you're so beautiful even without makeup you're so beautiful a big fucking head no me too i'm not I'm not kidding. I'm like, so. I also think I'm, like, making myself bald a little from, like, pulling my hair back all the time. Me fucking too. Us balding. Literally, it's going to be Jojo Siwa.

Us bald. Stop. I didn't even say anything. You're going to fucking hell and with that it looks like i have a beauty filter on do we have the beauty filter i i think you you definitely probably have your zoom setting to have like a little bit of blur wait how do you change that it's in preferences oh you're on a pc so i don't i don't know how to do that on your computer do you have anything you would like i have something i was gonna ask you if you have anything you want to share but i have something to fucking say run it the band of

e6 how does that make you feel like how are you feeling about that the what the ban on like jewels and like e-cigarettes oh it's just jewel is it actually just jewel it's just jewel i don't give a fuck i did have the idea immediately to buy a bunch of jewel pods like a lot like invest yeah to flip them and then flip them and make 20 grand like if you were really about your shit and you wanted to make some money buy all the jewel pods from your local gas station and go to the next seventh grade recess and sell them over the seventh graders um you know smoking cigarettes in fifth grade i'm i think i'm gonna buy like i'm gonna buy an excess of jewel pods and like you know how they only have like the um the tobacco jewel pods now i'm gonna like get them and refill them with just like mint um you vape juice and and re

eucalyptus and jasmine and essential oils and then add like a strong mint flavor and then recolor the caps like from brown to that like teal color and sell them like triple the price as mint pods and literally solve our nicotine crisis that's actually really interesting and i like love the nicotine crisis of 2022 like it's literally happening there's a shortage big shortage coming wait there was fucking something i was gonna goddamn say bitch damn um oh uh one time in high school um it was like when i was still like experimenting with weed and trying to see if I would have a panic attack every single time. And we, me and my buddies heard of this guy who apparently sold weed jewel pods.

And this was when like jewels were like at their peak where you could buy like all of the flavors of jewel pods or whatever. And this guy apparently made jewel pods that had weed oil in them so we drove literally two and a half hours to a hype beast like supreme like esque store at peak traffic from grandberry to dallas it was literally the worst drive i've ever made to dallas in my life and we get there and it's at this supreme like high b store we buy the weed jewel pods and we all hit it on the way home and it's literally just like weed flavored oil like there's no thc it doesn't get any of us high it

just tastes like weed and we freaked the fuck out because we paid 20 for this pod and we were like all gonna split it between us um and we were all really fucking pissed and we drove all the way back to granberry and right when we entered granberry um we like passed a police officer going like five over he flashes lights at us but he didn't pull us over but having weed and granberry is like a definite like jail sentence of like how many days but yeah we bought weed jewel pods um and it was a scam and i got scammed that was probably the best thing that happened to you though because i bet if it was real fucking weed it would have been like the scariest dab you've ever taken in your life and you literally would have been rewired i would have died yeah i also was gonna be like oh my god wait literally a jewel pod for like weed that is such a good fucking idea as if stizzy doesn't exist yeah like as if it literally doesn't exist already i

was like someone has to make that i went through a phase where i was like really obsessed with um i don't know if you remember that when we first moved to la i was really obsessed with um I don't know if you remember that when we first moved to LA I was really obsessed with um there was like it's like an unmarked brand like I don't know the brands but it's those like gold weed it's like literally one of those like it's from one of those spots but it's like the gold um like the gold pen yeah and do you remember how obsessed with that like fucking pen i was i wanted it so bad like literally like i was itching for it and nobody like i didn't know anybody who was 21 who could get it for me and i didn't have a fake because like i'm not a piece of shit and i like actually like follow the rules girl they put fentanyl in that and that's why you were so addicted no i literally was i just like the taste of it i just like the the taste of the

oil burning like i don't think like i enjoyed like the high as much as it was like it's literally like probably what most people have with their like puff bars it was just like the oral fixation um i have oral fixations on penises i think i had a stroke i'm sorry wait are you what are you gonna like glaze over what you I literally started the episode by saying happy prior to you and then you just said what you just said that I think I had a stroke because it's like do you notice it no your face looks like perfectly fine or wait maybe you just said you had it you just said you had an oral fixation on penises girl don't put fucking weird shit into my mouth bitch you're the one putting weird shit in your mouth why the fuck are you putting wieners in your mouth you're straight people can suck wieners like that's

not weird is that what they say to you it's not not weird. That's what they tell you. Who's telling you that? Oh, it's true. Oh, my God. Well, what do you have to say to me? That I want to try heroin. I'm serious. So I'm gone for two weeks. And you see, this is proof that you need me

like you actually need me he needs me he needs me he needs me i got everything he needs yeah no i spiraled for sure i was like i can handle it i can do it once wait you spiraled like you did do heroin no no no i'm saying i spiraled in like it's a thought that entered oh unironically like doing heroin i just don't know that i have any interest in that like i don't know even what that would do i did have make a comment over and i was like you know what's so fucked up because if y'all don't know i've been galloping around europe like my life is a dream i'm literally god you've already said that sorry did i mention that i i've been on the other side of the world like literally like i've been around the world

um but all that wait that song is literally you like if we actually want to talk about it that song is actually i i have something to say about language like actually i'm not kidding that shit is fucking scary like that is so fucking weird you're telling me we made language out of this no literally telling me people can understand their eyes yeah and they were like we gotta do something with this let's figure this out literally wait oh my god wait how did we do that i don't know like i literally don't know would you say humans discovering language is like the equivalent to like how or as equivalent to like humanity as us discovering the internet was i feel like they're on the same level no i think language is even crazier i think language is

crazier but i think they're like getting to the same level i think like the internet is going to propel us into the future the same way language did i mean yeah because also like with the internet language is like ever expanding like literally it's changing the way we speak so fucking rapidly also i mean look at us i don't think we've said a coherent thing this entire episode so far i don't think we've stayed on track for a single thing we've said like the whole episode oh because when you were mentioning heroin i was gonna say um i was gonna say to orion like i said to orion because i like have been just getting high and laying in the fucking sun which honestly is like the best thing ever like i literally um i will say yeah for me i was smoking zaza smoking zaza in paris yeah i got on i went on zaza.com

zaza delivered.com um but i was i said to her and i was like you know isn't it so crazy that like when you do like meth you're still considered being high like i'm high right now and someone who's on meth is high right now like does that make sense like to me it's like there has to there needs to be a different word for like the two oh because like how can i be like high off an edible and be like hee hee haha and then someone's like high on like heroin and about my skin well that's how i get on weed edible yeah i was gonna say i guess some people do like they get under your skin and rewire your dna like actually literally um back to language that shit fucking scares me like i'm i'm sorry like it literally scares me i don't like that you're making me do that like what we're doing why can we do this and why are there so many people who can't understand what we're doing right now no it's like this is america speak english okay wait boss yeah you you agree with me right oh i don't think i do and you can't be saying shit like that oh did the light just go

out you're literally living you're like being held hostage right now i forgot to pay the bills this looks like a green screen oh wait oh that's beautiful thank you um but yeah it's it's been fucking scaring me like i thought i we went to portugal and i was like okay like i can speak spanish like i'll i'll be able to like it was like where was my invite it's giving where the fuck was my invite? Well, we said you could come if you gave us head and you just refused. Yeah, I know. Why not? Like, literally, why not? For the trip of a lifetime, why not?

What's up, Spotify? This is Javi. I remember this one time we were on tour. We didn't have any guitar picks and we didn't have time to go to the store. So we placed an order on Prime and it got there the next day ready for the show whatever you're into it's on prime i literally was so jealous but i was like i cannot spend this money i cannot do it even though i literally could have i just was like no no yes so for context i was orion's plus one she was my sugar mama um and she had business in europe so she invited me along and i went with her but it was so last minute that it was so

expensive and it kind of just didn't make sense for like drew to do it yeah i wanted to go but it was just yeah too expensive for the amount of time i was gonna be there but then it ended up being a long time but like it all worked out in the end because i got to like surprise my mom and be with my dad for father's day which is like really cute that video of you surprising your mom actually made me cry i've been crying at so much parent content really it is it there's this one fucking tiktok maybe maybe i'll put it up but there's it hits too close to home so i probably won't put it up but there's this one tiktok and like it's a father daughter tiktok and it is so sweet it makes me cry i was

showing a friend the other day and i was air playing it and i like was just sobbing and my friends were laughing at me because they were like damn that one really hit home and i was like actually leave me the fuck alone because i'm gonna smack the fuck out of all of you um but yeah language scares the fuck out of me like i literally can't believe people just like like being in a different like country and someone speaking a fully different language to you and just like being in a room of a bunch of people who have this one like interconnecting thing about them and being like the being the odd one out is such an insane feeling um and yeah that which i'm sure someone's gonna be like who fucking cares but no you don't

understand it's so fucking insane and i think i never like gorgeous right now i told you that i'm like glowing what did you just send me oh why did you just send a tiktok because i want to play that tiktok that one made me so happy i'm not kidding it made me so happy i thought it was so cute on the block list that's if that pussy trash on polo it is cute i love i just love old fucking people i love old people but it also the old people make me cry which is like really fucked up of me to do because we need to stop treating old people like they are useless and they can't fend for themselves but like it makes me so sad i think it makes me sad because of my own like like my own dealings with aging like i i like i don't want to age and i don't want to be old i don't

want to do it and i know it's just going to happen but i'll probably live till i'm like 150 or something because like we're learning how to um basically become immortal and no one wants to have the conversation but we're literally like um learning how to like edit the genome and shit but i would just say the complete opposite like i was gonna say it's a topic for the next episode but one of the things i wrote down was like can we stop talking about microplastics because they can't be that bad for you but then within writing that down i was like wait they probably are so fucking bad and it's gonna start like we're gonna see like the age rate like go back to being like you die by the time you're 13 and you have to get married when you're like fucking five because all the microplastics

within our like ecosystem and body is failing us but i'm not kidding like i'm sorry and i know some of you bitches are gonna be mad and take it like to heart and be like no microplastics are actually bad like we just found them in the fucking snow but like are they that bad because my skin cleared up in the past four years so explain that to me explain that explain that to me my hair is slaying and like healthier than it's ever been my skin looks good wait wait i actually haven't told you this yet and i was gonna wait to do it live on the podcast but i literally was actually so scared um and having like a full-blown like panic attack uh yesterday about it um but as you know i got yes hide the label i wonder what drink that is oh that's shit and cock balls um no but i i sent a photo to here comes corella of me getting an STD test.

I got an STD test last Thursday, and I wasn't able to find out the results until yesterday. And I was going to save them to read them live on the podcast, but I was literally, like, shaking my boots because I was like, why did it – they sent them a day late. And I was, oh, literally, I have every STD under the sun. Like I'm done. Like literally, I'm going to hell. I'm going to die soon.

But you'd be happy to know that I'm clean. Everybody go get your test. No, unironically, get tested. Like I don't give a fuck. Like get tested. it's so easy it's so cheap it's probably free even and like you're doing the world a service like just go get tested or you're a psycho and you're gross and ugly if you don't damn i don't give a fuck um i was literally so scared i was like you're about to do that shit live like you're literally

there is like a 50 50 chance you kill the vibe right now like you think i'm gross i know i don't think that's gross i think like you never know like someone like me i'm like pure and i'm like clean and i'm not like a fucking dirty slut like you so like but i could still like who knows like maybe i slipped up a little somewhere along the way yeah that's what i thought i was like maybe i slipped up somewhere along the way nope i'm clean and i'm celibate now when you said that the saturation on your camera went so low are you playing with it what are you playing with the lighting yeah you are yeah i am i was gonna say because i can see the focus in your eyes but like that was so good because when it went desaturated you said you're celibate oh my god

my god no but i literally am celibate i don't care i'm not having sex until marriage just do you mind if do you mind if i ask how long it's been you're a slut you're a goddamn slut well this is the last time i will never be celibate i literally love having sex i'm actually like so like what last week i need to i need to fucking shave my goddamn ugly ass fucking disgusting mustache off my goddamn face oh i have little scissors in the bathroom that i use for my fucking pubes if you want to use it oh i'm gonna smell them later uh do you look at yourself or do you look at me when you're talking i do a mix of both yeah i'm there i dab. You can make a compilation of me just

staring at myself. I'm staring at myself right now. I'm looking at Inya, myself, Inya, myself, Inya. Oh, also, Kai isn't here because he did pass away last week. It was so sad. The show must go on.

Kai, do you want to chime in for a little hello so they don't think you're dad oh my god he's actually bad oh um i can't because i died oh my god oh my god the ghost of kai i'm doing this on the toilet so i just like wanted to make sure it wasn't unmuted when i was like shitting drew you can't smell the fucking screen i can smell it you have smell-o-vision yep okay i like i i need i just never need to be able to look at myself ever it's like actually really drawing i need to be able to look at myself ever. It's like actually really joying. I need to tape this side of the screen or something because I'm going to put my wallet in front of me

because it really is so hard to look at. Okay, I'm going to go back to Jewish heaven. Aw. Bye, Kai. Bye. Heaven is a place on earth with you. Thank you. I was talking to Inya.

Oh, okay. you thank you i was talking to inya oh okay um look see drew your face is like symmetrical you need to chill stop nitpicking yourself bae you're gorgeous you're gorgeous and you have no idea how you look um you like my new argyle vest that is not new um i put it on because i was like i can't wear just another white t-shirt and i put it on and i was like this may be the ugliest item of clothing that i own and the worst thing i've ever put together in my life it's ugly huh I don't think it's ugly um but since we were talking about STDs I don't know if you'll release but I don't know if you'll relate to this but I was talking to someone like last week and we were just talking about like things you are paranoid about that i don't remember how it started but basically i was like do you remember this you'll understand do you remember how fucking scared everyone was to get pregnant like every teenager from like 2011 or

like from like 2007 to like 2014 it was why was that like that's what i was saying i was like that had to have been like the consequence of like a show that was literally just following teen mom so everybody was so scared of getting pregnant and i don't know where this fear came from and i'm sure most people can relate to it like i was so convinced i was gonna get pregnant from a fucking toilet seat like i was so convinced i was so convinced that from a public like if i missed my period when i was like a younger teen i'd be like oh my god i bet i sat on a toilet that had fucking come on it like i was like i literally was like oh my god i literally sat on like a toilet and like i got pregnant like i don't know like i don't understand how the science of that would

work but i was i wish i was joking i was like so convinced and also i was like always really convinced that i would like contract some kind of like disease from sitting on a toilet but what was that oh my god that hurts so fucking bad my pc glass just fell on my foot ew oh you can see us hey this just fell on my fucking ankle and i think it's bleeding we can only hope for so much you know we can only hope you kill yourself tonight tonight yep hello hello it's the drew podcast now this is this is the ghost of enya do you do you feel guilt now that it's happened the ghost of you should you should watch what i don't know i just say shit i literally i had a moment yesterday um because i was hanging out like i wasn't hanging out with someone new but like it was like kind of like it's like a

new relationship developing and i realized that i actually need to learn how to not speak everything that comes to my brain and it was like the first time in my life that i like was like oh like i actually like say everything that comes to my brain and i don't think of the consequences until after um and i like yeah it just happened and i was like oh my god like i'm so sorry that i said that like Like, I, yeah, it was just like. Did you repeat what you said or? No. I literally was just like, it was just a new person in my life.

And I was like, can I hit your puff bar? I was like, can I hit your puff bar? Like mid conversation. And I was like, and they looked at me. They were like, huh? Like what? And I was like, oh, sorry. I don't have to if you don't want me to. And's like okay and i was like i'm sorry i just say everything that comes to my brain

yeah it was really really uncomfortable for me um well after hanging out with orion for so long i heard her i'm gonna do that too because my headphones have that too so how about that oh i have those and i have these well i have these these are giving like um like clear craze y2k like oh i saw somebody who was 14 on tiktok post about 2012 like indie sleaze like no no domo was in there like it wasn't 2012 it might have been like 2009 or something oh my god um i can't coming millennials in front of i know i know and we're having to watch it happen at like a rapid rate because there's like they're like too cognitive too fast i don't like it me like i wasn't cognitive at 14. is dead the word slay yeah not in my books it's not dead in my books i saw the tick tock and i was like this is so right i've never seen somebody so right in my life but the tables are gonna turn and the girls are gonna be like i never thought slay was cool like

slay was always annoying i I never said Slay. Fuck Slay. Every single time I heard someone say Slay, I was like, what do you even fucking mean? It's coming soon. Watch. The tables will turn. And I want to get ahead of the – I'm going to beat the Slay allegations.

I never said it once. Drew, there's like an extremely viral clip of you saying it. I never said it. Slay is dead, and I've always agreed Slay sucked well you could say that but I'm literally a Slayvillian of fucking Slayville and I don't give a fuck you can't victimize me you're a Slayvillian

I am a Slayvillian hello hi hi you don't have to yell you know I think I'm gonna get a haircut yeah look at that i think i was like i'm gonna grow my hair out and then donate my hair but we're almost there but i don't want to cut my hair really short so i'm sorry you're not getting my hair i don't care it's true it's true i'm waiting till august i'm coming i was gonna wait till august but i think

i'm gonna get a haircut right now like right now literally right now i'm not kidding i hate myself don't look at me dude every time we do a zoom call you just look at yourself way too much and you start freaking out i know i look at myself and i realize that i'm like real it's like fucked up i'm like i shouldn't know that i'm alive i should just exist in robot mode wait it's crazy this profile isn't that kind of crazy you look the same no i feel like this one is ugly you are like actually a crazy person the sun is in my fucking room i like shrunk it down to be really small and i put it in my room and it's too bright now it's like too bright and hot yeah there we go stop looking at yourself babe just focus on me babe babe no stop like just focus on me you don't have to fight that stranger hey do you know

what i'm talking about like the girls who's like boyfriends get way too fucking mad at publicans they're like babe look at me look at me i'm the only one here look at me babe look at me do you have any more topics you would like to uh i literally have a hundred million like it's actually crazy um okay let me erase the std test topic so i don't talk about it um i will say these like the airpod max pros i don't know about you drew but it feels like they give me fucking like bed sores does that make sense bed sores but they make my they like push my face forward i don't know if you know what i mean like they make me like do you see how red my ear is from wearing them why don't you put your ear over it and not on the thing

it's supposed to be like over your ear not like rest no it is but like it slides back because i might i'm just so like petite and sexy and like you have a skinny face delete it fat debbie lovato's performance when they just like have all their mean comments up on the screen and it's them like you know like whatever like one of the greatest moments in human history yeah like the music awards just don't give that anymore they don't it's embarrassing like i think they were the last ones to do it like right like an all-out performance like that i haven't seen like maybe doja cat maybe little nas x but like no one's doing it like that anymore it's great yeah doja cat shows up and eats but that's like there's no

question about it but like everybody else like for music awards and shit people feel like they're literally just like clocking in a slot car like they're literally like clocking and clocking out they're like oh i have to go do this thing tomorrow like i really don't want to do it this is important i don't think y'all understand how important i don't think you understand your career is on the fucking line right now like do you remember beyonce coachella beychella i was so mad i wasn't there like when people bring it up and they're like oh i was there it genuinely like i get like a seeding envy in my stomach yeah my i'm like i don't care i don't care oh i don't care i don't care i wish you got fucking killed that night oh oh yeah if you were at bay tella i wasn't there and you know what

i wish we could go back in time and you got stabbed that night how about that i wish i i wish when you were walking home because the uber was 450 dollars to get home i hate to say it but i agree i hate to say it but i agree um what was i gonna say i i feel like i mentioned that you're ugly uh keep going uh public pools are fucking disgusting that's the topic i was gonna bring up public pools yeah they are pretty gross i've always when i was a kid i always piss in them bitches yeah no like i still piss in them bitches i don't give a fuck like i know i still piss in pools but like i haven't been in a public pool

like like just a random like i haven't been to like a water park but let me tell you this if i went to a water park right now i'd be pissed you know i was watching some uh a youtube video maybe it was a tiktok i don't fucking know i don't care anymore um i've been like talking about like how you're not supposed to smell the chlorine and if you smell the chlorine at like a public pool or like a hurricane harbor or a water park that that water is disgusting and you should probably stay out of it but like i i think it is so funny how that is such a human experience i think like our bodies were wired like when we touch water to immediately evacuate our bowels because i have to shit too i don't shit in the water but if it were up to me i would shit in the water i literally like i would too if would. Like, I just, I just want to know, like, because like, I'm trying to think of how to say this.

Like, would a little water go back in? Like, would a little water get sucked up once the poop is out? Like, would it be like a bit of like a vacuum situation? Like, I don't know. You give and you get, you know, in this world, you give and you get a little get a lot of back oh i was actually talking to orion about it because you know the um rihanna dipping the mango or whatever she it was she did dipping mango in the sea and like eating it or i was like that's like i did you see like the other people doing it at like random beaches like i literally would never do that i was like yeah i would not do that like santa monica fucking beach or even like

malibu like no i would probably do it in malibu i don't fucking care i i but i wouldn't do it like santa monica because that water literally smells like fucking poop poop poop caca like it smells like fucking nasty literally once a year the bioluminescent bugs literally invade that beach i'm not drinking that beach water but then she was like no i mean in general i'd like find that gross like i wouldn't do it and then i was like what like i literally would like it's just like it's the ocean and then she was like no that's the thing though it's like there's so much shit in that water like everyone's peeing it still like there's like animals in it like there's animals shitting in it it's gross but like i literally like to me the ocean is clean like i could literally piss in one spot and i'd fucking

do a handstand and drink all the water still i actually think it is clean literally when i was a kid i would piss in the hot tub and then dive underwater immediately and get a mouthful of water and like spray it everywhere like i was thinking my own piss as a child um no i think like actually the ocean is so big that like like if you break it down and you took a sample of it like the parts per million of like fecal matter and like animal waste and like garbage juice and shit the parts per million would like theoretically be non-existent like it would probably be like 0.0000001 like it would basically be holistic medicine at that point yeah i like i'm like it cleans itself it's like one big brita filter like i don't care right you're actually right also i eat fucking shrimp doodoo

you think i give a fuck about some piss like literally i don't i'm sorry that i eat rots in my stomach like i don't yeah literally it's not gonna make a difference to me like i don't close the lid to the toilet when i flush like i'm being brushing my teeth with fucking fecal matter every day like it's not changing my life i literally feel fine microplastic shit piss like everything goes in me and i'm saying so explain that scientist explain that atheist but yeah i would fucking dip for in the ocean needed but like there are some i'm like all right like if the beach fucking stinks don't do it like dipping it into the lake water and eating oh that was the bayou i think we were talking about that too

but i can't remember what it was um but yeah i'm gonna go to lake granbury where like 18 people have drowned and dip it in there and it's gonna be salty the beach of lake granbury i um was back in texas oh no um i want to talk about the german formula nivia cream the one we have yes the blue tin oh have you been using it so much that i when i went to texas i bought a bought my own like it actually changed skin care skin care for me i literally think it's like one of the best things i've ever discovered like you do look very beautiful you look soft like i actually think it like changed my complexion like genuinely like it's it it is like the best thing ever it's literally just la mer without the sea algae but then i substitute the sea algae with sea moss gel but the sea moss gel i bought yesterday literally rot like it had mold

on top already so i need to take it back i bet it would be so good for you though more um more probiotics protein probiotic um well a girl like me i use lamere and there's no there's literally no doubt about it like lamere once and it was on sale so now i have to wait now i have to wait i have to wait i'm running out and i'm like fuck but i did make it last for yeah but i mean it's i literally it is i don't know if you really looked i got like i think it's a one ounce thing that i got it's really tiny um from being in the sun so much all of right here my eczema like popped out like was really breaking out right here popped off yeah it snapped she was snapping on me so i was really dry and flaky and i was like walking around like literally peeling my skin off because it like felt so good to do and then i would

catch myself because i'm like oh my god i'm literally walking around like i'm sitting in a public restaurant right now like this and like literally you are actually on meth in portugal you're high but not on read on meth i'm itching you're literally itching the bugs under your skin does my audio sound good or am i too far from the mic because i am far from the mic you sound good to me you are okay never mind where are you why are you off screen what were you doing yeah yep oh um also maybe by no what i was gonna say maybe by next episode but that's not gonna happen um i know i gave you all the update that i got health insurance but i'm gonna go see a psychiatrist so we're gonna we're gonna

get to the bottom of this. We're going to find out what the fuck is wrong with me. You're going to start taking medicine and the podcast is going to fail tremendously. Yeah, I'm going to be way less interesting. I think you shouldn't go to the psychiatrist and we should live in agony together forever. No, it would feel good to know what was wrong with me. It would feel good to know why i don't think doors are locked why i think getting on the bed after being out all day is actually the worst thing i could do for myself and why i have to wash my hands 10 times um after i use the bathroom you

don't need to know i'm literally so annoying i'm like i felt so bad for a rhyme because literally every time we go to bed together i'd be like there you go oh yeah literally wait i can take a shower funny um indiana orion called me and the girls were fighting the girls literally called me fighting like they they were like they basically called me to mediate the call but i for the first time in my life was like i love this drama i love the drama it was awesome we don't have to get into it but it was hilarious i was dying laughing the entire time i was i was literally just saying the girls are fighting because they were just getting you know what it is with each other um but also to clarify we got off the phone and both of us were like wait are you actually are you like he likes to talk away

about me and she was like no and i was like literally no and then we were like okay because of that phone call it actually did make us we were like where are we fighting and then we were like no we're literally not and then we got high and then she told me about how sharon tate was killed and then i actually was convinced i was going to be killed like sharon tate for like the next three days i made y'all so paranoid but like you're literally the tensions the tensions were raised the tensions were high and it was like a purging of the emotion you know what it is is people don't believe that I'm actually batshit crazy like I'm not I'm not actually crazy but I am like kind like there is something wrong with me but but it's

it's not like serious like you can't be friends with me but it's like if you're almost a fatal flaw it's almost yeah if you're around me for too long you realize like there there genuinely is something in my brain which is why I would like to go see a psychiatrist because there is like something there is a screw loose in there when I shake my head i do be hearing clanking sounds i think yeah same but like that's what makes us so good for each other it's how bad we are it was insane that was my first time like this was my first time being with orion for this long like we were together straight for like two weeks um like every day for two weeks hear about it okay i don't want to hear about it well we're really close and like we're like sisters i'm not but it was insane like how easily we got along because obviously the only other

friend who i've spent that much time with is drew because we've like been for the most part together almost every single day of the year for like the past like five years like um but it was awesome to know that i am like that close with her did you hear that yeah you farted right you did it at the same time your fucking tongue came out too it's literally crazy how that's the first time that that has happened and we're leaving it in i don't give a fuck um but i realized me and orion are like actually so fucking stupid we have like caveman brain and we thought our boobs were like the funniest thing like we literally like the amount of times

we would be in bathing suits like at the beach or at the pool and y'all get naked and play with each other's boobs and like take pictures of them and like like pour water on them and then you'd send those photos to me now send me pictures of your tits but we were in the p word my your is calling my name let me see your pussy can i see your pussy being a pussy um but we would like be like playing in the fucking pool like little ass kids and one of us would have our back turned and we'd be like i'd be like oh my god oh ryan wait come look at this and i'd be like look at what's on my phone right now and i'd just like have my nipple like poking

out this way or like we kept jumping in the pool and be like, oh, wait, wait, I'm going to jump in the pool and jump in and our tops would fall. And we get up and be like, oh, that was fun. That actually is so funny. Like the intense, unintentionally intentionally having a slip. But actually, like you intentionally unintentionally having a nip slip but acting like dude and then one night when we were walking around we got into this cab and there was like

this thing separating it so the guy like literally could not fucking see us so i like turned to orion and i had this tube top on and also i had nipple pasties on because my top before needed them um so like i turned to orion and she was on the phone I was like wait it was like dark in there and I can't remember I was like wait Orion can you take a picture of me and I was like this and like I had just one boob out I was like like smiling and she took like a flash out of me she's like oh my god girl you look so fucking good and then she was like can you get one of me and she did the same thing and like literally like send those to me i can't no i actually unironically want to see those photos because like i just cried oh no i

i like literally will like send you them because they're literally so fucking funny like though like it's literally just like one like boob with no nipple like it's so fucking funny and i look i look so fucked up in the photo too like could girls get away with um just wearing nipple pasties though yeah i mean like is the nipple the part of the boob that's the line like is that where the line is drawn yeah but i think like they're still like i think it just depends like size of boob sadly like with my fucking tits like i'm not well i can't just like walk around with nipple paces on because bitches are gonna be like not your fucking big hunkaroos out like wait we really need to free the nipple the emergency intercom's next agenda is freeing the nipple. We were at this, like, resort thing for Orion's work.

And I jumped in the pool. No one was around. It was, like, at this villa where no one was around. But we were literally cracking up at ourselves. Because we were like, what if somebody from this fucking company just walked out and like this is what we're doing but we weren't doing that to each other and we were into we were literally dying and wait I'm gonna like show you this tiktok that Orion sent me because it's this is literally what we were serving while like everyone was like getting ready for this like really nice dinner we were gonna go to me and Orion were just like

dude it was so hot today should we just go dip in the pool because it's like it looks so good and this was us i saw that what's what does it say like that one friend that like swims yeah you have that one friend that be swimming for real y'all are the you and orion do swim no that literally no that's literally me like if i see a pool one thing about me is i will be swimming i will be taking a swim and then the next day being like why do my arms hurt yeah it's not like a cute little float like it's like swimming in mermaid shit um oh my god this is the crazy i saw the craziest fucking thing ever but there is a roblox game of emergency intercom on roblox there is a game where you can they remade our set in a on roblox

we have to go i mean no we're visiting a mask we need we're buying plane tickets we need to go oh no no no that's where we're spending our summer drew like the girls are going to everyone else is like staying in europe going around like a europe tour no we have to get business class right now to the to the roblox emergency intercom no yeah that literally just freaked me out and i'll have to find the video i think i archived it um but it literally greened me out that greened me out and then um me being perceived at the greer shows scared the fuck out of me that there's a video of me i literally got paparazzi i just got fucking shivered did you i just got shivers did you see the video of me getting paparazzi at the greer show your honor your honor i'm slaying no but send it to me yeah we'll insert it right now yeah you love it you literally love it like

so much it's so annoying i hate it like yeah you need your guys journey to privacy like seriously y'all don't take pictures of me without me no i don't get that shit like i like everybody and like some people in the comments are like really weird of you to take pictures of him without knowing i literally love it so much i don't because you bitches be posting fucking ugly ass pictures of me i don't give a fuck if you got a picture with me at one point and i look fucking ugly facetune me motherfucker like don't do me dirty like stop no stop posting ugly pictures of me like i just can't stand that like don't do that like you think i'm so pretty but you posted the ugly picture of me like why did you do that

i literally think i'm so sick that is women putting women down i thought it was supposed to be women supporting women why are you not facet tuning me right now it's freaking me out oh did they get bullied into deleting it um maybe i'm scrolling through i'll find it i'll find it um maybe i'm just so jet lagged from flying everywhere oh my god again this was i want that hoshi africo this was gonna be a joke for another episode but since we're just on the topic of like pictures of ourselves literally my biggest pet peeve is like thinking about when i die you know when people are like oh my god like i miss this person so they'll make a tiktok with pictures of that person let me find out y'all are using ugly fucking pictures of me let me find out let me find out you guys are doing these slideshow TikToks and it's my fucking worst photos.

Like if I didn't main feed the post, do not fucking post that shit when I'm dead. Like, no, we need a mass sweeping of my photos. I'm posting so many shitty pictures of you. It's going to be awesome. You're going to roll over and you're i don't need photos of me and like true happiness circulating when i'm dead because i don't look pretty when i'm truly happy i need like the photos of me like serving like nothing like i don't need screenshots from me like you don't need candid happy you need okay

wait i'll i'll give y'all my like a like my like truly happy like oh my god she like she was doing what she loved she died doing what she loves that okay screenshot that you can use that and because because it's you look like you're in pain okay let's let's take a peek how long have we been going for um a long time girl let's cut this shit not josie serving sexy slay in this in what in that video that was my mom no josie walks walks in first yeah he has khakis on his hair is in a ponytail

your mom is serving though do not don't don't fret i do believe that no because this is gonna make him spiral i have a feeling it did i was like wait i i walk so weird i walk in slow motion in that video but my mom was pissing me off i love you so much mom but you were moving so slow i was like can we walk can we walk okay because she's strutting some of us care about some of us care about our hips our hips have to give a little sweat she did have heels on and i felt bad but it was a stressful night but i honestly you should just push her if my mom was still alive i'd fucking push her i oh you would push your mom i literally got mobbed out front of that fucking show i love i love it so much okay well thank you guys so much for listening to the episode um okay hold on

what's your media hey baby what's your media i forgot about media uh star girl interlude of course wow but you're straight but you're straight yeah yeah star girl okay my media of the week is see you soon by biba doobie texco green by drake i just like that whole album kind of low-key the whistle song by frankie knuckles and last christmas by Wham um minus Stargirl Interlude Weekend Lana Del Rey I was on a crazy Lana Del kick not Miss Del Miss Rey um and then I also listened to Sticky

by Drake I love that song it's so good I don't know I don't hate the Beyonce song but I don't know if i fully love it but it's i feel like it's a grower not a shower like i feel like that that's just a grower so it's just like you it's just like you it's just like me i'm a grower i'm not a shower um but i i'd say that is my media though the new beyonce song i think she slayed fucking boots but

i am super super biased um and yeah that's just me that um that's just me i heard the whistle song in public and that's why it's on my rotation is it the one i was whistling though yeah i heard it in public for the first time and i was like oh my god this is like literally like i'm living my european fantasy right now like not this being on right now like why am i the only girl who knows you know what was playing in the lisbon airport lesbian airport yeah the because pride month i got flown out to the lesbian airport because um they needed more allies so i pulled up um i was the march then the marco oh really it was playing in the airport and i was like i was like you bitches are really about your shit, huh? Yeah. Y'all really do. I don't know if this is Portuguese or Brazilian. Let's be honest.

Like, I don't know. Let's be honest. And then Visual Media Survivor Season 29. I'm a survivor girl. I'm a survivor. I am obsessed with Survivor right now. I think it's one of the best shows ever made my lazy eye is lazy

wait hold on is it lazy no you're serving sexy you're serving sexy looking up trying to have sex with me um well i re-watched mars attack and it's really good that's it well thank you guys so much for watching this episode um you know i just want to give a big thanks to my big tit and my loose magoose puss. Yes, loose magoose puss. Come in. Bye. Have fun. Hey, have fun. Live your life. The year anniversary of

Emergency Intercom is coming up soon and we might be dropping some merch but who knows? Who knows? Who really knows? We're we're dropping merch yeah we are bye Bye.