Emergency Intercom - Enya Got Catfished

Episode Date: January 21, 2022

Enya got catfished by Bella Thorne,,, Drew is a conversational narcissist,,, and Shawn Mendez followed them around the grocery store. Our life is a dream? Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Welcome back! Welcome to this episode of Mercy Intercom. I've been seeing a bunch of comments recently saying like,

it's fitting that they say welcome back to this episode because I watch every episode ten times. You're trying to ostracize them. No, I'm trying to fix it. Because we do say it wrong every time. It is welcome to success. No, but I mean, if people are like, it's okay that they say that because I'm going to come back anyways. Now you're trying to isolate them and make them feel like fucking freaks. So every time they listen to it, they're going to be like, have I been here before?

I think I'm hallucinating. Like, I'm getting deja vu. Y'all, literally everyone who is watching this is is like we're experiencing a mass delusion together like we're infecting them with our mental illness and they're being delusional with us i saw something recently that someone was like um i'm such a bitter like bitch and it's honestly because of drew and enya and i would never take it back and i was like charlie dominio fans are like i'm so kind and sweet and it's because charlie's guided me and people are like i fucking hate everyone i'm like consumed with bitterness and anger um and it's because of these two i'm such a hypocrite because like when i hear shit like

that i'm like there's no way people think i'm a bitter hater and then someone's gonna post a super cut of me saying like the most evil, hateful shit ever. And like, I really am trying not to be mean. It just is in me. It's in me. And I don't think it's cool. Trust me. But it's just in me.

It's a part of me. I just, I think you'll never know someone nice unless you know someone who's a bitch. And I'll be the bitch in your life. Like, so then everyone else who you meet, you're like, like you're like i'm setting your standards for human interactions really low so that when you have interactions with people in real life you're like damn they're being really nice and it can only be up from here yeah i'm only sending you guys up so honestly i'm taking the l for y'all so you guys should be happy and stop being a fucking bitch to me. I saw another comment that was like, I don't think I've heard these two actually have a genuine conversation in the last 27 episodes.

Every single thing they say starts with I. And it's just like, it's like us responding to each other with our own. It's like not a conversation. No, it's literally like the infamous Johnaney like quote from one of his stand-ups where he's like when i i i just wait for people to finish talking so i can talk exactly that's exactly how we function as people um and then it made me freak out for a little bit i spotted for a little bit and i was like am i like a conversational narcissist like do i make the conversation about me every single time? And I

was like, is that how my friends perceive me? And like the people in my life perceive me? Like, am I a conversation narcissist? And I was like, I don't think so. Like, I don't think I make every single conversation I've ever had about me. But like, it's very easy, like for me to do that. So and I've done it a million times on here so i'm like does that seep into reality but i think i've been good recently about like asking questions and like actually being interested in i don't know if i ever have perceived you that way but maybe it's because i fucking do the same shit because right when you were finishing that i was gonna be like i and then i was like wait no that's not i'm doing the thing but i don't in my head, I'd like to think that most conversations are the person

talking about themselves because that's what you have to cater to your interactions with other people is yourself. But I understand what you're saying because I fully fucking do that with so many people. I can name people that I always feel like I do that with. One of them is Sabrina, who I don't know if she's going to be listening to this episode. But every time we're together, especially because our friendship is newer, I just go on these intense rants where I'm explaining something about myself or my life or something that's happened to me. But we also just, me and her, have a friendship where we get into really intense conversations like about our stuff like our own personal life so i'm like no this isn't a weird thing we're just sharing yeah i don't know i'm trying to think if there's anybody that i like see like i hijacked the conversation

and made it about me i don't but again i don't is that like how a conversation goes though like i i don't know how a normal how do you talk to other people but I'm like also like a majority of the time the person that I'm interacting with like I have zero things in common with and I'm like okay like like I'm I feel like this unneeded pressure to carry the conversation and like I have to be the one to carry the conversation because the person I'm talking to literally doesn't know how to speak that's what i was thinking is most times where in moments where i feel like i'm being like the fucking hijacker or terrorist of a conversation it's because i'm talking to someone who's like maybe naturally a little more quiet than me because then i think about my conversations with like nat me and nat

can just like talk for fucking ever. And it's like I don't feel like either of us are like saying too much. Because Nat can, she's a good talker. Yeah. So like when we talk, it's literally just both of us talking. Like almost I would maybe say an insufferable amount to each other. But because we're both like pretty like yappy, we could just like go on forever with each other. Yeah.

And with Orion, too. Like, actually, with Orion, I don't even know what the fuck I talk about. Like, we literally, we speak, like, a different language when we get into a room. And sometimes when we're talking, I'm like, I'll hear us. And I'm like, Orion, we sound so crazy. Yeah. Like, we don't sound normal. Yeah.

I feel that. That's that's like how i feel like like talking to anybody in the friend group i'm like if anybody actually heard these conversations outside these walls like if these walls could speak no if anybody heard these fucking conversations it would be like we would be locked away like we would be 51 50 so i even think of that hypothetical like what are they gonna do call the police on I mean, like, it's just a saying. Like, that's just like. Who would say that? Because walls have never spoken.

Well, no, like, it's like if they could speak, it's like it's a saying. If they could, I don't I don't. What did they have? Like first words? They wouldn't call the police. Oh, my God. You're like actually so fucking stupid. You're actually freaking me out right now.

Yeah. Conversation narcissist. I feel like that's, know i'm gonna own that i'm gonna own that and be like yeah i do hijack every conversation and also i'm gonna become a vibe terrorist this year i'm gonna ruin like i i've dabbled previously i've dabbled i can ruin the mood for everybody and i can just like i don't know if that was dabbling you were like you were wearing it on no you you know what it was now you can dabble because when you were at first a vibe terrorist you weren't like really aware like you were aware of it but i couldn't control it yeah and it wasn't like you were doing it on purpose now you can dabble for fun yeah now i can walk into a room and just give off the worst fucking energy ever and just like like there's those

people that walk into a room. And you can feel their presence. And it's like a great feeling. You're almost comforted. And you look up at them. And you're like wow. That person knows some shit. Has been through some shit.

I'm the opposite of that. I'm like that person is a dark entity. And they're going to ruin the vibe. And that's like what i plan on being instead of lining up the room you literally want to turn off the lights and like flashbang exactly throw fucking flashbangs and like ringing sound and like call of duty no someone who honestly i'm like almost embarrassed to admit this but someone who has that like aura for me was someone we experienced yesterday in the grocery store.

And like when I saw Shawn Mendes in person, I'm not kidding. It felt like like there was like this aura. Like there. Do you know what I'm saying? Like there was a presence in the room and it wasn't because he was Shawn Mendes. Maybe it was a little bit. But also like he had an energy. And he was wearing a cream sweater

which was reflecting a lot of light and making it hard for me to walk around and i'm delusional and he was following us he followed us everywhere in that fucking store he like was obsessed with us it was weird he was like kind of like at one point i heard like a and then i was like oh my god is sean mendez in here with covid why is he sniffing like that and then he was really close to us and i was like oh my god is sean mendez sniffing yeah it was like fucking diabolical and also he made eye contact with kai and they had such intense eye contact that he crashed the cart into his homies um and i just had to say that for kai or it was literally he saw us and like maybe by some chance he knows that we're like some of the most evil people on the internet and he literally got like scared to the bone because he knew we're the kind of motherfuckers to sit on mics the next day and make up a story and lie about lie about the interaction

he literally was like fumbling for his phone and like texting his publicist like like no he like pulled out a fucking like razor and held it in my neck i don't even want to get into that no no he literally okay like sean mendes seems like a sweet person but he literally carries a shank around and i'm like we're in air one like you're good you're good bro but no he did like we were looking at the vitamins okay he followed us around the store like we're not joking about that like everything else is a joke we all just so happen to be going into the same exact fucking and we beat him to it every time and i know he was i know he was insecure so we would get to an aisle and he'd be right behind us and like i kind of my instinct was to like leave immediately but i was like i was here first no i was here

first and i'm gonna be loud and obnoxious and i'm going to say the most absurd shit possible the thing is what also doesn't help is in air one that's one of my favorite places to be loud and obnoxious because i feel like the people in there feel like they're safe from freaks in there but i'm like you're the fucking freak and i'm gonna make you uncomfortable fuck you uh but yeah we were in the vitamin aisles and we were looking at just like weird holistic bullshit like per usual that i do because i believe in it and we were looking at these boxes and I, we were standing in, uh, in front of this row and, uh, he reaches over my shoulder and, and completely invades my personal space. It was weird. Right. And I felt, you know what it felt like? It felt like that one interviewer where he was like,

can I smell your armpit? Cause like his armpit was in my face and I like smelled his deodorant and I'm not joking. I'm literally not lying. Do you know what clip I'm referencing? There's a Shawn Mendes clip where the interviewer is like, let me smell your armpit. And Shawn Mendes is like, oh, okay. And he lifts up his arm and he smells it. And he's like, that's nice. And it's like the most uncomfortable clip ever.

And I probably shouldn't be bringing it up because he's sean mendes is actively trying to get it eradicated from the internet um and i just like keep adding fire to the flame or oxygen to the flame um yeah he did do that and he seemed like a sweet man but he didn't say excuse me which i was like yeah which i gave him a pass because he is Sheen Mendeley. Like he is like that bitch. But like he is Sean Witherspoon. Yeah. He is Sean Witherspoon. But no, he he also interacted with this baby in a very sweet way and this baby and her and her mother and I was like, Oh, like he is just a guy but then I was like, I can see right through your publicity stunts. Like I can see that you want people to see you being nice to this baby.

But I just, like, I just don't trust anybody anymore. Like, I literally, like, can't. Everything's a publicity stunt now to me. But how did we even fucking get there? Oh, you were talking about. He had an aura. He literally did. You were talking about a light when you enter the room.

You said, Sean, this is your light. Yeah. I'm so annoying. I saw him in an aisle and I literally turned and like walked and I go that's Shawn Mendes and then we turned and we walked back and I looked at him and I was like I have such a knack for immediately

seeing people you can have your mask on you can have your fucking sunglasses on you can have your hat on bitch I see right through all of that like I am so I don't know why like because i i don't claim to be someone who like necessarily cares for celebrities by any means but i can point them out really easily and i'll be like i don't know their name but that's someone from that and then the person with me will be like oh my god that's literally blah blah um and

yeah that's my story and fuck you cool bro like you're good at recognizing people like you have a pattern-seeking brain like okay i was gonna say that i was also in the room so maybe the energy that you were feeling was coming from no yes actually it could be kai it could be your energy i was gonna say no actually all day yesterday not only was it raining and like scary outside but like you were with us which definitely added to like dulling my like senses but then when we got in the aisle with them i will say kai like you do have a you do have a comforting aura like genuinely i genuinely mean that um but like not in that scenario that there that was sean mendez is definitely outshining you yeah maybe it was my energy.

You see, you can't even take, like, a little compliment and go with it. You have to, like, why are you trying to beat Sean Mendes right now? Like, you know Sean Mendes has a better aura than you. He has beautiful hair. He had a beanie on, I thought. Yeah, but he had his, like, hair, like, fluffing out, and I was like, you've got beautiful hair. He's also, like, the richest man in the world.

You better have good hair you better no but kai we i we love being around you what i had to bring it back because we are so mean to kai on here people either think we hate kai or we want to have sex with him um and that's true there's no in between you decide like we do hate him you can decide if the other one is true though i do not hate kai no i don't hate him at all do not bring me in that do not bring me i never said i hated kai i literally never said that you just did you psychopath you scary y'all are trying to fucking gaslight me i've literally i never said that i said i love kai and i love being around him tweaker okay and watch i bet kai's gonna edit this all funny so it looks like i said it oh my god oh my god now you're gaslighting us you're a

master class you're a master debater you're a master class i do masturbate um gas lighter um but we have nothing else to talk about that was the episode today thank you guys for watching it got really fucking awkward just right there it was so fucking awkward it got awkward because y'all were pitting two men pitting against a woman when all she needs is help as it should be as it should be my hate for men is seeping oh my god here we fucking go but i'm saying like i think i need to like go to like a workshop to learn to like love um because it's like seeping into my other conversations like when we were at dinner and we were talking to uh our friends and i was like i literally showed up was like i think men should be put in cages

but she agreed though i know which is awesome um but i need to be careful because sometimes i say those things around like random men who i don't know that well and it looks like they're gonna punch me in the fucking face which like adds to like my fuel for hatred but like also my fear yep sorry i'm like literally trying so hard to think about what to talk about you shouldn't think you should just talk that's the fun that's the best part about being us is that we don't think we just talk and we fill the world with things that it doesn't need we're not giving anything we're taking i actually have never like really like thought about this but kai constantly does have this like radiating like black cloud around him do you see it i can see it what i don't see

it oh that's weird that you don't see it everyone else you're used to it you were born with it like you don't you don't realize it we all talk about it all the time i thought you were gonna say he always has something next to him and there's like a little wet paper towel next to him. I thought you were going to say he always has a little wet paper towel next to him. But he doesn't. That's literally mine. That's actually one of my worst like things I do in the house is one, I use so many paper towels. Oh, sue me, sue me.

I use so many paper towels and I just wet them and like carry them around the house like I'll hold on to it because I'm like oh I don't want to waste this I'll wipe something down with it or whatever but then I just leave little damp you know what I do that's so fucking annoying is I'll be washing the dishes and I'll get halfway through the dishes and I'm like oh like I want to see what's happening on the tv or like something so I like dry off my hands with a paper towel and I throw it in the garbage and then I get right back to it and I do that like three or four times so by the end of the fucking dishwashing session session session session so that's that's are you rebooting holy shit what was that what was that do you know where you are right now what was that you i think you were just like

you stuttered and then you like rebooted no that like literally i saw like matrix code in my eyes i was like so fucked up did y'all put a screen in front of my face no i don't even have like a screen oh my god on me it was like the matrix rain but rainbow rainbow coat wait were you having an lgbt reboot no what the fuck was i saying session um by the end of the dishwashing session i like the gish basher session the badger session i like just dry my hands off and wash my hands like 36 000 times also it just doesn't help that one time we told josh to get paper towels for the house and he accidentally ordered a 36 pack jumbo roll yeah so we have infinity no but it's dwindling down we only have like four more left which is actually

really disgusting that we were able to go through that many so fast i was like damn this is gonna last for as long as we live here yeah um but i use them like i use them to like honestly wipe my ass sometimes we know but that's not a joke off no but i know when we run out of toilet paper we wipe our ass with fucking paper towels because we're so lazy and no one i'm saying when we have toilet paper i'll use paper towel because it's a little more gritty and it exfoliates my holes oh yeah i do like the blood like i do like i do like when it like etches it knowing people who have had hemorrhoids literally has sent like a new shock wave of fear into my body that i'm like always convinced i'm going to get a hemorrhoid or have a hemorrhoid yeah i'm convinced i'll get one too but i don't think i will like i feel like i already

would have if i was going to yeah i've never had one before but like it's literally a fear what the fuck is a hemorrhoid even I'm pretty sure literally what is that strain your butthole and then there's a little like a seizure and then yeah I know what it is like I know it's like a little skin tag it's like a skin tag that like bubbles out stop a fissure a fissure is like a cut yeah but i don't think it comes out of the cut i think it's literally like a whole different thing oh i thought look it up though because i thought hemorrhoid was literally from getting what is a hemorrhoid and it gets infected from poopy butt but kai's kai's saying yes to me and he's seen a lot of things it's swollen and inflamed veins in the rectum and anus that caused discomfort oh then what am i thinking of that's just like from shitting too

hard huh yeah see i thought it was like a prolapse like pink sock situation you like prolapse your butt but just a little bit like saying that so casually in conversation is fucking disgusting goat see do you know what goat see is no look it up on your phone right now everybody listening don't look it up like goat like a goat yeah goat see and go to images Did you find it Kai? Oh did you look up Goatsey? It's like hiding it Oh this isn't like as bad

As like a pink soft dude Why is this Considered a Goatsey? Okay nevermind I just saw like a really crazy one and like i don't like that yeah don't look that up that is so scary that's the scariest thing i've ever seen in my life did you ever um eat a blue waffle out have you ever had a blue waffle before wait i need to look i haven't seen blue waffle in so long i think i think google scrubbed it

though you can't look it up anymore being told to look that up and looking it up in front of your friends in school was so fucking embarrassing literally i loved it personally i thought it was hot like i thought blue waffle was like a real thing and it scared the fuck out of me it is or is that edited no it was real to me it was real to me nyquil coochie nyquil chicken um no that's not real but i i know it has to be you think that there is something that's going to make a vagina blue like turquoise blue yes like colloidal silver can literally turn your skin blue so like i bet there is a disease that will make your skin blue your vagina blue i i have and yet like i don't want to argue with you

on this because i literally have to believe that it's real like i have to for my own sanity like if it's not real i'll freak the fuck out why would you want that to be real because it was just like such a part of my life as a child that's like if i just like started talking to you about how sansa isn't real and you're like no no no wait what i have to it is is it really a disease that turns your skin blue no that's real your pussy blue like she's saying blue waffle isn't real but i know there's diseases that literally like literally cyanobacteria can get into your fucking blood or, like, cyanosis. Yeah, maybe hypothermia can make your fucking coochie blue.

I gotta look this up. Is blue waffle real? I just looked it up and it said no. Here's why your vagina is blue during pregnancy. No, it literally is fake. I'm like there's no way i swear to god i thought it was real with my whole life is that why you actually asked me if i had blue waffle before no i i knew you didn't have blue waffle before i would have known you had blue waffle like that's not like okay now you're scoffing at me like no like you're dumb for thinking that one was real like when you fully believed no you're lying dude no i swear to god i thought

it was real on everything like on literally everything i thought it was real i'm smoking blue waffle pack though i need to get in there and shave some of that off like truffle onto my pasta and eat the blue waffle balls yeah the cream cheese blue waffle cream cheese blue waffle truffle oh wait i have to see what it looks like blue waffle truffle butter i have to see a photo of the blue waffle no google scrubbed it it's like hard to look up i wonder what the new version of like telling someone to look up blue waffle is dude i still feel like it's like kind of the same shit like i because i've been seeing a bunch of viral videos go viral recently of like the jar man or whatever the jar video the guy putting a jar in his ass yeah so i've been seeing like a bunch of remakes of that

and then like also those like ones you've been seeing remakes of people putting jars in their ass? Yeah. Because like who doesn't? Like that's hot. Like people like that. Oh, okay. It's not that weird. Are kids still like talking about Two Girls, One Cup? I don't think so. Damn.

Blue Waffle and Two Girls, One Cup are extinct. Those are classics. We need the retro those. We should remake them. Ass Jar is, they're still coming out. Yeah. Ass Jar is still around. There's also is, they're still coming up. Yeah, Ashtar is still around. There's also the Scary Maze game is still.

Dude, I saw. That's like a rite of passage. I know. Like you have to do that. But I saw one. I was like, that's not fair because they weren't having the girl play it, but they just had her following it on the TV. Which is even more mean.

Like literally you're close up to it. But yeah, Scary M maze game is so good my siblings were just scared of literally ever everything and anything like my little brother was scared of horses and um monkeys oh so we would show him pictures of monkeys on his ipad and run after him with them have i talked about when we used to call madeline yeah the there's that one fucking picture if you look up like ugliest girl ever dude that's so mean if you look up ugliest girl ever that's like so mean if you look up ugliest girl ever did you know that a picture of drew comes um but um we used to look this up and like literally put it as like the background to all of our like

computers in the house and like we used to tell Madeline like this was her like this picture was Madeline and she like used to cry her eyes out like it was so fucking mean and she never lived it down and to to this day, she's still a creepy, ugly guy. And I'm going to send it to her right now to traumatize her. I'm trying to think of what else you... Oh, I remember as a kid, we would make so many email addresses because we were so bored. There wasn't really anything much to do on the computer and on the internet other than playing cool math games. And we would make email addresses. For fun? really yeah we would just make them for fun so that we could like

our generation is like yeah dude we used to just do the most boring shit ever oh my god i don't know if i've ever talked about this but i remember in fourth grade this girl who i really didn't fuck with and i fucking hated um came to school this maybe it was no this was middle school this was like sixth or seventh grade because okay whatever maybe it was fourth grade oh it was it was so in fourth grade this girl comes to school and she's like showing pictures of her boyfriend like she's showing everyone pictures of her boyfriend on her phone and And, like, to clarify, I did not go to school or live in an area where white people really existed. Like, I literally, like, we didn't know any, like, just, like, straight, like, obviously, like, there was, like, kids who were white but Latin. But, like, even that was a short amount.

Like, I was, like, one of, like, maybe 10 kids in my whole like grade who were like latin but like no just straight up like buckwheat off the farm motherfuckers like that was like was not a thing um so she's going around showing this picture of this boy and she turned it to me because i was like we we already had beef and everyone knew we had beef i was like no let me see like let me see the picture of your boyfriend because she's like oh yeah he's 16 mind you we're like nine so i'm like or like 10 so i'm like you're dating a 16 year old you're dating yeah you're dating a fucking 16 year old so i was like let me see and she shows it to me and it's literally one of the most popular like scene boys on myspace yeah ever like if you look up white emo boy with blue eyes

wait i want to see yeah i want to see if i can find the photo but i saw it and i didn't say anything like i just go i i dude i was such a conniving fucking cunt even at the ripe age of 10 i go oh that it's literally that picture i go oh that's so sweet that's cute like how'd you meet him and she's like oh like your family friends and i was like oh wow what school does he go to and she just like starts like pulling shit out of her ass and talking and i was like and he's 16 and she's like yeah and everyone's like oh my god you're so fucking lucky like what the fuck also mind you this was like during justin bieber time so all of us couldn't believe that our girl

just bagged a white boy with blue eyes we were like girl you're so long hair and long hair we're like you're you're the luckiest girl on planet earth yeah except me because i was like bitch we got this fucking class and it was computer class time computer day yeah it was like computer day and i go up to the computer and i like pull over one of my friends i was like you want to see something and they were like yeah and i look up white boy white emo boy with blue eyes and her boyfriend comes up and i click on it and it's just like a myspace link but because the school has a firewall you can't even get to it But you could see that it said MySpace on it. And I was like, wait, what?

Is this not Cindy's boyfriend? Like, what the fuck? You're so mean. Me just airing her name out. Like, I don't even know her fucking last name. I don't know where she is. But yeah. And then I told everyone and it was really embarrassing.

And I called everyone over. I was like, guys, like guys guys what the fuck he doesn't go here um my boyfriend doesn't go here he's from a different school she's like yeah he's from a different school and i was like why is he like famous like i was such a bitch i was like wait he's all over google guys we should look up our names to see if we come up and like obviously we were not coming out so mean and really tormenting this girl oh hell no and yeah and that's what you get for being a fucking liar like why are you lying i mean literally we lie all the time no we lie because it's fun and it's loving and it's a game she was lying for attention yeah which i also do yeah i was gonna say like there's there's there's

not much of a difference there's not really much of an argument i just i was just thinking like back to stupid shit i used to do when i was a kid and like like i never really had any like moments like that i mean there was one moment like that like i don't even know if like i can really say what went down but if you are a boy, I mean, also girl. Like, girls play video games too, right? Like, girls play video games. What was that? You don't know what a video game is?

No. Oh, it's like this thing, like, do you know what an Xbox 360 is? No. Oh, so girls really don't play video games. I don't know if you keep saying it. Do girls poop? What? Do you know what poop is no like no you're making things up right now you're just saying words to me you're like girls

don't poop and they don't play video games what girls don't play video games or poop i knew that they didn't poop but i thought that they maybe played video okay i know what a video is but what is a game what is a game? What is a video game? It's like something you play on the TV. But anyways, one of the most evil things, maybe you'll learn from this story. It's like, how do I kill this?

How do I burn this to the ground? There was... We were playing Halo 3 Forge or whatever. We were playing Halo where it was custom matches and me and my friends took it very seriously. And we had this one kid join and we literally spawn killed him. No, I can't even tell the story. It's so bad. It's so bad.

We spawn killed him over and over and over again until he like got off Xbox. And like I could tell something was up. So I like ran to his house up the street. And let me just tell you something was up. That's all I'll say. Something was up. Very mad. Yeah.

Something was going on. But yeah. So girls really don't play video games do they i just like yeah uh that was like one of the things i did similar to that where i was like just being evil for no evil for no reason just bullying like literally i was the first cyber bully i think like low key i was the first cyber cyber bully um i was definitely a bit of a cyber bully but i was the first cyber bully i think like low key i was the first cyber cyber bully um i was definitely a bit of a cyber bully but i was just a bully in real life which we've talked about like forever ago but like i was just i was mean and i was definitely projecting my anger onto other people girl this is a crazy fucking story so like webkins was like all the rage like it was like webkins was like the it game.

Like you would beg your parents so badly for Webkinz. Like me and Madeline, like that's all we asked for ever were Webkinz. And we got like a pretty decent collection going. And like we had a really fucking cool house. And we had like the really rare items that you got with like the new Webkinz and shit. And like we would trade our items and yeah whatever and we met this girl um at a hair salon um because our moms were getting haircuts and she was like oh do you play webkins and we're like yeah we play webkins and

she was like um we should play sometime and like i forgot how she knew about our island or our, our house, but basically, Oh, because we showed her a picture of our webcam, all of our webcams. And she knew like the items, the rare items that came along with them. And like, she could just only imagine what our house looked like. And she was like, Oh my gosh, like, what's your password? We should like play together sometime. And like, you should let me play on your account. And I, and then she like, and Madeline was like, yeah, like like give me your password so like we traded passwords with her and we went to log into each other's accounts and this fucking bitch logged into our account and stole our most rare item i don't remember what it was and sent it to herself but her dumb ass gave her her her real password

and so we logged into her account sent our item, sent everything in her house to us and changed her password and never saw her again. And like we completely ruined that game for her forever. But like she deserved it. No, rightfully so. Y'all were just being naive, like sweet kids. And she decided to take advantage of that. Yeah, literally just like don't fucking come for me because I will destroy you like basically your fucking family i will burn your house down and plant c4 in it and watch your family perish okay um that's my favorite fucking thing in the world

is to say i'm gonna blow something up with an rpg like i fucking love that um i've never said this publicly but i just thought about it i've been catfished once in my life and it's literally oh my god i don't even know if i know what you're talking about no you don't because this is so embarrassing holy shit this is like this was literally back this is so fucking funny no this is in sixth grade like so mind you i'm like literally 12 or like 11 or 12 and i was a big fan of shake it up and i was i was on twitter and like i had like this like twitter or i don't even know how i met this person i don't even know if it was on twitter i don't know what i think i met them on fucking omegle

oh and i was on Omegle. And this person straight up was like, I'm Bella Thorne. And I was like. Okay, you told me about this. I was like, oh my God. Are you fucking serious? And I didn't have a phone at the time. So we talked on kick.

Or I did have a phone at the time so we talked on kick or i did have a phone but we spoke on kick because i was embarrassed because i had an android and i was like bellicone definitely has an iphone like she's gonna see my messages are green i'm scared so our subject anyway we spoke on kick and she would straight up like we me and this person whoever the fuck it was like i don't think it was like an older person it definitely was someone around my age who was just lying because they were too nervous to like say their real information because we would have real conversations but every now and then they would start talking about being so fucked up they would turn up and go like yeah everyone likes cinderella better because she's a better dancer

did she ever talk about her dyslexia she'd be like but everyone always bullies me because I'm dyslexic like it's so hard that's the most iconic you would just like randomly bring that up and like me being like oh my god Bellalla you're just a person like how long did this go on for it probably went on for like three months like it went on for like quite some time and i don't know why we stopped talking but i think i just like came to the realization i was like this is not bella dude that's fucking that's like one of my most like pen 15 ass like moments where i'm like oh my god no way are you serious that's who you are right now like holy shit well um that's fucking hilarious i like i remembered that story halfway through but i like forgot how fucking funny it was

people make fun of me because i can't dance and i have dyslexia like which is so funny for this random person to be like, that bitch can't fucking dance. And, like, adding that to her character arc of being, like, Bellathor is insecure because she can't dance as good as Zendaya. Dude, that's so fucking funny. There's, like, in, like, seventh grade when Call of Duty Modern warfare 2 was like crazy um i was obsessed with like j tag x j tagged xbox xboxes which is like hot swapping um like the disc so like you could like play like hacked cds on it and like i wanted a j tag xbox so fucking bad but like i just didn't

want to get in trouble with like the law or some shit i don't know why i never got it but i like had to resort to other methods to getting my modern warfare 2 count hack because all of my friends got infected with like the hacks and like i wanted 10th prestige because that fucking emblem was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my fucking life and every one of my friends had it so like i had to resort to other methods. So I went to fucking eBay and got on eBay and like bought a listing for $25 for like a hacked lobby that I could get 10th prestige and unlock all the guns in Call of Duty. And I was like, oh, this is like fucking huge. I'm going to have better hacks. I'm going to have hacks that last the entire time I play and like all this crazy shit.

They messaged or they emailed me and they're like what's your password and account or email and blah blah blah blah and like my naive six-grade ass gave it to them and they hacked my account and sent me like the most conniving like they called me like a squeaker which was like a fucking derogatory term that you fucking squeaker like your account just got hacked bitch and like I was so embarrassed and humiliated because like when I got hacked um into like yeah it's just it's my dad's credit card is on the account and I was like oh my fucking god they're gonna steal all of my dad's money so I had to go and tell my dad and my mom literally called this like found this kid's mom's phone number somehow I think she probably emailed him was like this is Drew's mom like

what's your mom's number and bitched her not bitched his mom out but like just yelled at this kid's mom for an hour and like they like beast mom together like they like fucking power rangered and just yelled at this kid together for an hour and i got my account back and then two weeks later i did the same thing um and just never told anybody and my dad's my dad's identity could still be stolen to this day so i just never learned my lesson family your identity so i just i know i just never learned my fucking lesson and i give my password out to everybody um like i literally just sent a fucking photo of my card over text like i literally don't learn my lesson i do that shit all the time and then like when certain things like when you're like ordering like from a dispensary and it literally asks for front and back photos of your fucking license uh your life i was gonna say your

license card just your license and i send it and i'm thinking like this is so dangerous i really just don't care about my identity anymore yeah but in my head i'm like i'm such a public figure like which doesn't correlate at all like you could be a public figure and have privacy but i'm just like like y'all can have it like yeah if they want it that bad maybe they deserve it more than i do i mean maybe they deserve my identity more than i that's literally what i'm saying is like my identity is already stolen and in like the dark webs and it's just being flipped around and cycled and i probably have 36 cards opened under my name don't even fucking realize it yet and my credit score is zero negative five thousand um so at this point i'm like literally i don't give a

shit like i don't care i don't care anymore sorry i just remembered because you're talking about being on ebay i remember during the like one direction like fucking hype and my face when i was a huge fan the letter jacket the letter jacket that was so expensive it was a hundred dollars which like now for like a you talked about this twice nice made one i'm like okay but i remember i felt like i was i knew my dad was paying way too much money for it and we didn't have the money to be spending that much money on anything but i think he felt bad because i wanted to go to one direction concert so bad and dante got to go to ultra like every year and just like One Direction tickets were so expensive

compared to that so he like saved up and got me this jacket but I remember when we were buying it I was like this is a scam and I'm scamming my dad right now and then the other thing that um I haven't mentioned but during that same time I remember when I like bought my tickets to go I think my dad bought my tickets obviously I was i did not have money when i was like 14 15 oh my god or was i 13 when i went to that fucking concert no i was like 14 um but i remember how old are you now oh i'm 38 oh because i'm just turning 16 you're literally older you're aging rapidly i thought you just turned 15 no i turned 16 in march sorry i should have just said that so i just turned 15. No, I turned 16 in March. Sorry, I should have just said that.

So I just turned 15. Oh, okay, yeah. But, like, it's really weird for you to, like, whatever, be having a podcast with me. No, it's not. We can be friends. I'm like a mother figure. Yeah. Anyways, I remember when I bought the tickets, I was so scared that I was being scammed by a scalper or whatever the fuck they're called.

And I remember up until I went to... Also, Dante went with me to that concert. I remember up until we were getting our ticket scan, I was like, I bought fake tickets. I know I bought fake tickets. And I remember that anxiety was so deep. It's so funny how now it's... Would you have lied? Yes, I would have been like, I loved it so funny how like now it's. Would you have lied? If you like, would you just.

Yes, I believe it. Yeah, I would have been like, I loved it so much. Like I loved it. It was like the best time of my life. Keep that secret to this day. Because my dad would have been so upset and then also felt like so bad for me. So I would have been like, I loved it. Like it was awesome. But it's so interesting to think how like buying anything on the Internet used to be like there's a 99 percent chance you're getting scammed.

It was so scary. It used to be like anything you're buying on the Internet is probably 100 percent likely that they're just stealing your information. Fucking bones. Like literally like you're getting shipped bones in the mail. Like that's what I was always scared of. It was like bones and rocks. And now it's like there's of course you could still get scammed but like it's so easy to tell and most people on the internet are like real people who are like trying to do my dad gets scammed all the fucking time by instagram ads

all the time like there was there was the most absurd fucking thing i have ever seen in an ad in my entire life and it was like this like remote control like floating shark but like not like the helium one it was like the it was the most absurd thing i've ever seen it was like an rc flying like shark and he was like oh my fucking god i need that i need that and he spent like 25 dollars on it which red flag number one like an rc shark is not 25 like a 300 ordeal he got it in the mail and it was literally a plastic toy shark that you get from dollar tree this big and it was like a just a hunk of plastic painted and that's what he got and like today i won't let him live it down oh my god wait he buys so much shit off of the internet he just discovered amazon like this last year yeah my parents recently like

made the splurge for themselves to be like fuck it we're gonna get amazon prime and they like buy the most dumb shit ever like i walk in the house and i'm like what is this and my mom's like i got it off amazon and that's like her only explanation i wonder what the percentage of the population is that has prime like it's got to be like upwards of like 60 percent now or is that like too high i feel like it's probably a huge number i feel like it's super common like my parents have it um but i just remembered actually in 11th grade i got scammed off grilled and i was so fucking mad i was literally so mad because my friend like a close friend at the time patrice i was getting him we would always joke and what made me more annoyed is it was kind of a joke purchase like

at this time like bape already kind of like died down like because we all know babe like had its like huge thing in like the early 20 2000s and then like 2014 like yeah like they all had their like ups and downs and by this time it was like 2016 or like 2017 so it wasn't like the coolest thing to have babe but it's not like it was like 2016 or like 2017 so it wasn't like the coolest thing to have babe but it's not like it was like you could kind of laugh at it even though i owned babe things like whatever so i bought him this fucking stupid i has a babe jacket like one of the zip ups so i spent like kind of a decent amount on it i got like it was like 300 bucks at the time yeah but this i should have known because this one was like 150 and i was like i'm just gonna fucking cop this

because like i never see this at this price. It's usually like 200 and up. And I bought it. And I remember I was like, Patrice is going to fucking love this. And then I just never came. And I was so sad. I was literally so upset. I was like, that's like before Braille had like authenticity.

Yeah. And like buyer protection and shit. Yeah. Because now it's like if they don't ship that shit out in like 48 hours, like you get your money back. But I remember I was like like can i please get my money back and he was like fuck you and i was like you're gonna die soon like trust me i know these things and you're actually he's probably dead yeah no he is i actually visited his grave and i pissed on it good like we twerked on his fucking grave um i bought so much fake shit off of Grailed and didn't realize it was fake until years later.

And yeah, that's just like my life. But there was one thing on eBay that I bought that I was like certain. I was like, okay, this has to be real. And it was that Supreme face mask. Yeah. And I bought like that Supreme face mask. And it was like the normal price but then like um i recently found it and i was like is this thing real and i like looked it up because it's still in my like red chest and i looked it up and now it was fake like literally fake as fucking bones like the little tag was like so off but yeah just just naive buying grailed was so scary yeah grailed was like because

those are like the worst people in the fashion game yeah it's like like not everyone on grailed now but like at that time it was just like pieces of shit kids who were literally scamming kids who lived in the middle of nowhere it was like the piece of shit kids who actually lived in like la who were buying real pieces taking pictures of that shit and then like selling the fake ones of that piece so that they could keep buying real pieces for themselves it's honestly genius yeah it's really smart but they fucking suck yeah and i fucking hate them we just got swindled and finessed but that's okay dude remember our supreme t era oh yeah i want i so badly want a white box logo t-shirt right now like i think that's like regardless of your opinions on supreme like i think that is just such an iconic piece of clothing and i love it i just love the way it

looks and i i love like just yet that piece but it's still so taxed and I don't know if it'll ever be untaxed like that specific like box logo tee or box logo hoodie I think will forever be like a grail to someone because like I mean if I'm still thinking about it someone out there is also like I it's funny to think about how like the market of supreme has changed so much like when we were buying shirts in 2017 like those like just their like random drop tees were going for like 150 up like when you say oh like they were like 200 like up and now i think it's like really cheap because they make so many fucking shirts that like i don't know if it like like do their drops even sell out anymore i don anymore like who the fuck is buying supreme like on drop day anymore like genuinely like i don't know i feel like there are people who are doing it i mean like

i did want um that bug sex i wanted a bug sex oh dude and that i loved that uh camo jacket the was it junio wantanabe yeah yeah i wanted that so bad um the fuck is happening but yeah that that was a cool collection but supreme like literally freaks me the fuck out now like it i have it tied to such like dark like ego thoughts there's nothing on the site i don't know what's happening like i can't navigate it and it's freaking one time at fucking um we were at like a high school football game and i was like wearing like a supreme hoodie or something and i it was like the first time i was like ever actually bullied in person and it was by this kid that i grew up with and like like we literally shared the same last name so like we were like homies by like force in school

and he was like me and tag wars are supreme fits to the football game and sure enough this motherfucker like it definitely came from a very jealous place but he was like oh i see like like i can't say what he said but he said supreme somethings are out to play or something and i was like what the fuck like what do you mean and i was bullied um and well didn't he end up uh also dying because they're yeah we have talked about there's such this weird thing when people bully us and are rude to us they do pass away soon after yeah it's fucking weird so if you say anything fucking rude about us ever you'll die it's like actually so scary i mean it's not something we're like proud of but like it's definitely like it comes in handy yeah it's a curse i'm like really trying hard to see like

how much like this is fucking insane this okay i'm what the hell are you looking up you've been looking for 15 minutes i was looking up the like supreme teas because i was just like i wonder what the market is like like i want to know like how much tees because I was just, like, I wonder what the market is like. Like, I want to know, like, how much, like, they're being resold for. Like, are they still $200? Are they still selling? Am I tripping? Like, there are a lot that are still selling for, like, $200.

But I mean, like, going into one of those shops, like, around two. Like, are all the teas still that expensive? Because I remember even at the end of it, some teas were, like, $85. Yeah, it's still ridiculous. Like, it wasn't,'t like which is still crazy but i think i think retail they're already like 60 so like paying 20 on top of it isn't the craziest thing yeah but i saw this and it's their mike kelly shirt and i'm like oh that's cute i was like oh damn 15 bucks for this like and then look at the way they and i i don't think it's like a real, the real like Mike Kelly thing they did.

Oh, no, it's not. But like, it's. What the fuck is wrong with this person? I'm going to go up to the camera because it's so funny. Wait, no, you can show it. We can have Kai insert it. No, but it's just so funny. It's not going to show.

But I'll tell Kai to like show it. Because I was like, $15. That's a good deal, honestly. And it's literally cut up like a fucking maniac. No more DIY cutting your shirts up. Stop it. No more Little Huddy. It's the Little Huddy effect.

Like, Little Huddy is doing it so you can stop. Let Little Huddy do it. Once Little Huddy is doing it, it's done. But I will say, we watched the Hype House show. And I'm like, Lil Huddy is sweet. No, Lil Huddy. All of them are cute, except for that freak of zoid, freak of nature, freak bitch, Alex. Alex Warren is a fucking menace to society.

I cannot stand that motherfucker, and I hope you hear it. I hope you hear us berating him. Making beef. Okay, let me be clear. Everything that happened to him in his past is really sad and tragic. And I really do feel bad for him for that. But the way this motherfucker treats the industry and treats himself, takes himself that serious and how everything is shrouded in this illusion of wealth.

And he has to make as much money as possible now like maybe i hate it so much is because that's how i used to think i don't know i just legitimately like cannot stand him like the way he speaks oh my god fucking god no dude he's a fucking freak of nature one the way he talks to his girlfriend which i guess like if you watch the show yeah sure whatever i guess there's like some like resolution at the end and i'm not about to tell like that sweet girl to like walk away but you know the saying if you find yourself in your relationship being like no it's good sometimes babe walk away babes babes that's no bueno because that guy is a fucking freak dude the way he talks was driving me crazy also just like that show was just kind of sad like more than anything it was more sad than it was like obnoxious and like

laughable because as someone who's a part of a friend group who we do film together and we do work together a lot i'm like holy shit i wonder if people think or they people like that definitely think that all the groups in the world function like this. And what's crazy, too, is they kept considering themselves like this group of friends, friends before anything. And I'm like, if my friends started talking about our relationships like this, I would be very uncomfortable. Yeah, it would be very weird. weird and like I don't know it also like it made me really sad because that show like very obviously was supposed to be something completely different from the beginning but like certain people backed out and like certain people's contracts didn't line up and they couldn't figure out like the

payment situation so that's why it was eight episodes long and a lot of the people that like you really wanted to see weren't in it and so they had to force these like fake narratives throughout it that were just kind of fucking boring. Dude, it was actually one of the most boring things ever. It felt like you put a camera on random kids. Yes, but it was very entertaining at like some points. Like it picked up this like when they stopped talking about all the sob stories and like got into like what what are their names like baron and jayden or it's like baron rylan yeah baron rylan and little huddy and like chase like that trio was all of their camera time to me was fucking and then mario ravine and larry like yeah they were like hilarious they carried the fucking show like

for me personally like anytime they were on camera i carried the fucking show like for me personally like anytime they were on camera i was rooting for them and i was like these kids are so i know if they like spent more time filming the those like crews it would be way funnier but literally like not i was like confirming what they were saying in the show where they were like i just feel like it's very split right now i'm like yeah girl for good reason yeah it is like very funny on this side y'all are boring and they're funny y'all are too existential and like so like i guess i don't know we've been lucky but it's not even luck it's by choice we made it this way we made it this way where we were like normal people sorry yeah we're like normal we're carrying out normal friendships and we just so happen to make content together and like do it

naturally and it would be a different story like the way they would be like when they went on that trip together and they were like no one's making content like i'm like i thought like the whole thing was it of this was like y'all are friends and rekindling like friendships yeah and they just kept like the way they talked about making content and like just really weird. But I guess that is just like a side of the Internet that we don't really understand because we don't make content. One, nearly as much. Yeah. And two, with that kind of ideology, we really make content at our own free will.

And we do it because we genuinely love doing it. I guess that's the other thing. It's like they were thrusted into this. Yeah. And they would talk constantly about how like a lot of them don't like doing what they do and like we do the things we do because we like doing them yeah and also alex like so badly wants to be david dobrik that like you can't sleep at night you know what's fucked up is he made me look at him and be like damn maybe david dobrik is a decent person like and that's when you know it's bad it's because i'm looking at this like copycat and being like damn the real

one's better dude like at least be a good person like if you're gonna like i don't know again also i don't know this motherfucker personally he could be like the the nicest sweetest angel ever but they could it could have just been like reality like tv bullshit like that we all know happens and like painted into the bad light but like i'm sorry like you can blame it on the edit hey blame it on the edit but you said those things you said those things you're the one who said it yeah also i stand thomas i stand his girlfriend his girlfriend eats yeah i know she eats she's like the most grounded person ever like i'm sure some people are gonna be like bitch i'm not watching this fucking show fuck you but i think it is like honestly way more interesting

this way than it could have been like if they had it really interesting because it's so like sad that it's like very real yeah it is like a really real thing of like yeah of just like a lot of people in entertainment like especially this part of entertainment i like get it it is like a really real thing of like yeah of just like a lot of people in entertainment like especially this part of entertainment it i like get it it is like a big fear of it's so accessible to so many people now that you can be easily replaced and it's like this fear of like wanting to stay on top but again i don't know in my head i'm like you can't do it this way you can't do anything in life that way where you're just like, yes, it's normal to have these anxieties about where you're going to be in the near future, but to really force it

and start to mutilate the people around you and the relationships around you and belittle them into nothing but numbers is really dangerous and it's not a good game to play at all. But I do that. I use y'all as pawns. I mean, look at this. numbers is really dangerous and it's like not a good game to play at all yeah but that's like but i do that like i use y'all as pawns i mean look at this that's that's why i like i honestly was like fuck a podcast like i never want to work with drew again like honestly i'm gonna go move back to

miami and never speak to these people again yeah and then like i was at lunch and i overheard um the girl from uh call her daddy she was like talking about how much money she makes and i was like oh my god like i like need that and i want that so that's why i started a podcast yeah no i literally genuinely never mind what were you gonna say something mean i literally have to take a xanax before i like get on here because if i don't i'll freak the fuck out and punch you what the fuck i fucking hate you oh my god also alex warren did not break his foot what a piece of shit you did not break your foot like you're such a pussy i broke my foot no you didn't because you were on the fucking roof of your trailer literally the next day like i'm sorry

you did not break anything this is an alex stupid fucking stupid fucking cart that you wrote on little freak bitch like i just i also i just don't like fucking content in general like whether it be like alex warner david dobert content i don't like when the content is making your friend like the butt of the joke or like that's the whole thing is like yeah because they have that p-body kid that's literally obviously their jonah and like the whole jonah situation makes me very uncomfortable it always has like because that's not even his fucking name like it's just like he he heavy guy like funny joke like we're gonna make him the butt of every joke and i'm like leave this guy fucking alone to add on top of it like literally one of jonah hill's biggest pet peeve with hollywood is that he like gets typecasted as like the bigger guy yeah and this guy's whole thing is calling his bigger friend

jonah hill like oh my god i never realized you're like doubling down on this like narrative i don't know like again to each their own do i hate watch all of their content yes because i'm a fucking loser and i love keeping up and being like this is laughable you're a freak but yeah they're still making money off us and that's genuinely all they fucking care about yeah at the end of the day that is all they care about which like i wish my brain worked like i'm just gonna start endangering you guys but like i'm so down like i've said it before like you can stab me like randomly at any point like as long as it's non-lethal just because one i want to know what it feels like. And two, like it would make a fantastic story. It would make a fantastic episode of the podcast.

Just the audio. Literally. But yeah, and that's my take on the Hype House show. Honestly, if I'm going to like put a number on it, six out of ten. Really? Like pretty like. I was going to say like a four or five. Yeah.

I'm just, I'm giving it a six because like i watched the whole thing and i was like i was like i need to finish this thing yeah we binged the fuck out of it so like i'm like anything that's like even brain rotty enough to make me binge watch it like there's obviously something here and i'm intrigued by these people so you'd agree with my take on imagine that they have to be doing something. It may not be for your brain, but to have every song you put out have a billion streams, you're doing something. You're doing something.

Like, it's true. It's true, it's true, it's all for you. Shut up. Everything I do. Anyone who is brave enough to make something for the public i they get kudos for at least that how about that everything see the thing is i'm talking and i'm saying something serious and you're just like ignoring me because you want to take your turn to talk next um no i'm singing a song and it's for you for you it's all for you. Everything I do.

I tell you all the time. Heaven is a place under you. Wait, stop. That's like literally making me tear up a little bit. Like, come on. That's my song of the week. You say that you like the bad girls hiding. Is that true?

Okay. 63 minutes. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. Damn, damn damn damn damn all right well media of the week they should have got james charles on that hype house shit i gotta know what was that what connection did you make there um lo anthony to james charles what was that connection did he used to say that oh he said video of the week yeah um go piss girl my video media of the week has been um these videos where people show how to use different kind of knives and i'm not kidding that's like all i've been watching she's been watching cheese it's like how to cut every cheese how to use every japanese knife why japanese knives are so expensive how to cut every kind of shellfish how to prepare any kind of meat um because i'm so fascinated like what a good

interesting you can prepare my meat with a knife i can prepare your meat with my mouth circumcise it um and then my audio media is Remind Me by Patrice Russian. Dirty Work Steely Dan. And Don't Tell Your Mother by The Sundays. Kiss one another. Die for each other. Don't tell your mother. Fuck.

I'm just going to scroll through my playlists and pick a random song. Boom. Right Side of My Neck by Faye Webster. Oh. Johnny. I Kiss Your Lips by Tokyo Ghetto Pussy. Oh. And.

No, we already said that one. was amoeba by clero um t for two by clara mix kiss-o-matic uno mas um paranoid android by fucking radiohead um okay kid a kid a kid a son or in Rainbow's daughter. And you can't kill yourself. What is in Rainbow's? Oh, the fucking Radiohead. When you said, oh, fucking kill me, weird fishes. I was just.

But you have to choose and you can't kill yourself. I'm killing myself. No, you can't. You can't. You can't. This is a son who likes Radiohead. I'm fully fucking killing myself. You choose a son who likes Radiohead or a daughter who likes Radiohead.

Oh, a daughter who likes In Rainbows. Because In Rainbows is a vibe. Like, if it's a girl who likes In Rainbows, I'm like, okay, get it, Miss Depressiana. Like, you're serving. You're free. But you know she's smoking weed and drawing that one art style. No, because then I'm breaking her fucking hands and she's going to have to relearn to use her hands. Okay, and I want to see what

youtube videos i've been watching recently because other than plane crashes and near-death experiences you know that's all i watch like you know that i literally i live to live and die for a plane crash video that's what tupac should have said you know what's fucked up is all i've been watching is call of duty videos no is keyboard videos is like really good sounding keyboards hold on let me show you oh oh you don't have youtube premium it's like the worst thing ever you're literally you your main so oh that's good that's good that's good that actually like i know like i feel it in my penis a little bit i felt some mud pussy throbbed a little bit yeah like but yeah i watch those all the time like literally that's like

kind of all i watch um me predicting the big thing coming and it being the volcano exploding and sending a tsunami and killing a bunch of people but recently i've been thinking like nothing is gonna come like i really do think yeah literally i i think like we might be in like a big thing recession like i i genuinely believe that like there's not gonna be anything happening for a very long time and the pendulum is gonna swing back and we're gonna be so chill like the world is gonna be so chill very soon predicting it it's gonna come true i'm manifesting the chill variant is coming really soon i need to see i need another video and it's like delta but instead of losing your taste and like smell it heightens your taste and smell and makes you high as fuck like you get high as fuck and then you want the

munchies i'm gonna do i'm gonna do a bunch of whippets okay that's. We have to end this fucking episode. Oh, this? What is that? That's a classic. I'm going to retro that. That's a classic. Oh, this is one of my medias of the week. Dr. Octagonopus. That was like original band kid humor. I can't.

I like beans. This is getting copyrighted. We can't push this up. I love beans. How about you? I don't think so. It doesn't even have a copywritten thing in this description. Oh, Slaytown. beans how about you i don't think so it doesn't even have a copy written thing in this description

i don't know slay town oh so i can use this on my youtube for one of my next collages and not get canceled i've been watching the there's that uh there was like that monkey versus dog uprising did you hear about that monkey versus dog uprising yes it i forget where it was but like there was a i'm not kidding there was like a battle and like they were killing each other so what happened was these dogs in i think somewhere in india attacked a baby monkey and killed it and i'm not fucking kidding these monkeys went on like a genocidal rampage and killed over 271 dogs and there's video of these monkeys dropping and throwing these dogs off of like very high buildings and killing them it's fucking insane and the death toll is like getting out

of control and they're like it's the most absurd shit ever have you not heard of this i'm i'm i swear to god i swear to god you're literally talking about a dog and monkey war i'm on the side of the monkeys honestly no same like the dogs deserve it um there's like an actual gang war in india going on i'm not kidding look um but yeah they just be like they're just killing a shit ton of dogs and they deserve it and it's because they allegedly killed around 250 dogs to take revenge because they killed one monkey baby which is fucking insane oh i love nature but no that's like that's gone beyond like that's like human intervention like that's insane like that's gone beyond like nature like that's like also monkeys learning habits from like which is kind of scary i still want to smoke with uh caesar i still want to smoke with Caesar. I still want to smoke with Caesar from Planet of the Apes.

I feel like that would open my mind to a lot of things. Okay. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. We could keep going. You're so fucking stupid. Everybody just wants to cut me off always. Yeah, I'm cutting you out of my life after this. Fuck you.

Thank you guys so much for listening. Meet me at the Grand Canyon. If you were the person who catfished me as bella thorne let me know and um if you could and or if you wanted no no no if you if you if you could do the thing if or if it could figure it out, then we can know it for sure there's something wrong One of these days I'm gonna bring a really big oversized pair of scissors to set and just fucking chop you know I do it. Oh, dude. Oh fucking do it to me Outro Music