Emergency Intercom - Enya is leaving the podcast

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

Enya is leaving the podcast and drew is starting his own show to pay his medical bills for a sunburn that permanently changed the course of his life This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/intercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Welcome. To. This. Episode. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

I got the last word, are you jealous? Intercom, I just got it in too. Okay, well it's not Emergency Intercom, Intercom, it's just one Intercom, so. I guess you must be, you must be hosting a different podcast this week. Surprise. I'm starting my own podcast. Emergency intercom intercom. Guys, I have exciting news.

So I've decided that I just don't feel right here anymore. So I've started my own venture, but don't worry. Someone will be replacing me. Um, and there's still, it'll be the same. Except I just won't be here. And that person is Tom York from Radiohead. Oh, why do they call it Radiohead? I'm not going to do that whole thing because it's really annoying. And he's been doing this insane Irish accent talking about Radiohead.

Hot take, though. Like, why is Radiohead kind of good? I know. I feel like people always, like, make fun of it and stuff, but it's actually good music. It's actually, like, hella good. That's what I was going to say. And I feel like if you even knew good music,

but, like, you're probably a stupid fucking girl, so you don't know shit about shit. Yeah. Oh, my God, Kai. We're finally getting to the point of the podcast where Kai can, like, agree with everything we say. You start adding without us asking, like, clapping sounds after everything. But, yeah, Radiohead is, like, kind of ill.

Well, why do you think they call it Radiohead? Because it's stuck in your head like a radio. Okay, no. Because it's always on the radio and it's stuck in your head. How did you get that because it's stuck in your head like the radio what do you what do you got over there because i'm seeing you look through your notes but i can't tell if you're like rubbing up your engine and trying to figure out which one to start with or like no i just have my notes open just so i don't like constantly grab my phone and it looks like I'm on my phone the entire hour. But something.

Okay, this, in my opinion, was like the real plandemic and like no one is like really talking about it. But like the cow print epidemic that happened in 2020 where all the girls had like cow print all over their walls like i think i don't know i haven't gotten to the bottom of my theories i do have theories and i don't know where to post them but like there's some serious sinister dark-sided energy there like i really can't explain it like there's some really dark energy is this a part of your psyop corner um potentially i haven't fully like um like verbalized the thought yet yeah but yeah there was some really darkness vibes there think about this because we were heading into a trend-based society where nobody thought for themselves and everybody did exactly what they thought online just like cows you you put them into

groups and you heard them in like sheep and everybody was becoming sheeple but the easiest way to turn the people into sheeple was through the cow print and guess what came after that the sherpa jackets the big sherpa jackets the girls were literally sheep yeah a little bit yeah people were like you were a part of a herd yeah well that's the crazy part of a herd while i was busy being heard oh ow yeah well the crazy thing about me is like i would never be a sheeple well you have an iphone so you're already done yeah but do most people have notes in their notes apps about collective effervescence

no that doesn't make you like that makes me not a sheep that makes you an insane person yeah and i'm not going deeper into that thought because y'all both don't deserve it i'm gonna be honest that's the best news ever no okay basically basically what it is you know You know I have to talk about it. You're so like, no one's, oh, I'm like, everyone's going to fucking ignore me. Fine, I'll shut up. Yeah, exactly. But like, if I did shut up.

Oh, that's the thing is like, what I realize is everyone in my close life ignores the fuck out of me. I'm just like an afterthought. I'm a background character in everyone's life. I'm just kind of like this figure that's there but never addressed. But when I go out, i am the it girl everyone fucking wants me wants to talk to me wants to be around me it's really crazy drew is like the definition of like um a spoiled kid

who if he like lost his family in a fire would be like fuck they did give me attention like but we're your family not your actual family because your actual family isn't your family we're your family because your actual family actually doesn't care about you that's one of my isolating tactics with my friends recently i'm like your real family doesn't care about you and you should depend on me like your family and i'm not going to help you the way your family would because that's not my job scary it's really really scary but yeah so collective effervescence it's this idea that like the reason there's religion and shit like that it's because it creates this community and this feeling and this energy and this vibration in the air that like when you all

go to church together that you feel like you're a part of this like collected um collective of people in this like little community and the reason there's this girl that i was watching that like kind of theorized that like the reason why there's such a big downfall of like religion is because we're getting that community that we used to get in religion in other places, like concerts, for example. Like, you ever go to a concert, like a basketball game or some shit? Like, you ever go into a stadium with 100,000 other people all there to do the exact same thing as you, like, freak out over whatever you're fucking watching? It is legitimately the greatest, most addicting feeling in the world,

and I get why the straights love sports like it really makes a lot of sense like i went to a soccer game and like the energy in that fucking stadium was like unlike anything i've ever experienced before i literally felt like ooga booga primal like fucking caveman like banging on my chest type vibes like fucking like wanting to scream for something i literally don't care about or know nothing of when you said that term at first i thought you were about to go on some tangent about fucking microbiomes and shit so i was like damn i could go we're stuck no well did you know no did you know that um microscopic beings like little critters that

we can't see are like essentially god because like if evolution is real we evolved from them they created us um and yeah well the good thing is uh evolution isn't real and we were put here by god we know literally why do i not believe in evolution i just don't believe in anything we've ever made up. I feel like everything we've ever been told is not real. And we were just placed here and we live this same life over and over and over again to absorb our energy. That's what I'm saying. I literally don't believe in science. And I'll end it there.

I don't stand by science unless it's like medicine and stuff. Yeah, I believe that. But like, I'm not kidding. Like, I don't care to know the science of things like i just don't think i need to know it and also like all these theories don't even make sense because there are so many instances where the theories don't align with some freak accident it's like whoa that should have never happened how did that happen it's like yeah bitch because your theory is just a theory and you're bored like we're on your iphone like i do we're we're what you call flat earth us yeah yeah yeah i mean

we believe the earth is flat i don't like it's not even like hello i'm looking out and it's literally not curved yeah i don't see any curves like it's like kind of like looking at drew like laying down and oh in that case it is curvy and fat and voluptuous and like really fucking sexy hot. Okay. Well, the earth can't be sexy. It's just a planet. I've banged Mother Earth last night. Like I literally banged her in her volcano hole.

I fingered her soil last night. Yeah. You ever put your feet in grass before? I'm not kidding. Yeah? That shit feels good. like explain that no the people you having sex with her basically no the people that don't wear shoes around really like might be onto something with that yeah bitch they're on to the next like viral disease that's what

they're on to like the next cut in their foot yeah they're on to like the next case of hepatitis we were we were in big sir and we went to this like river this gorge a bunch um and when we were there everyone had like water shoes and all the like gear they needed to hike up this fucking uh river to get to the waterfalls and our dumb asses like i didn't even bring a swimsuit so i had to wear like two layers of boxers and like my bulge was out and it was really fucking uncomfortable and weird and i hated it for like 30 seconds and then i understood why the speedo exists and i'm about to be i'm entering my speedo arc um but i just thought of like you and a thong speedo and it really like did something to my

brain that it like should we talk about it you know when you throw water on a hot pan and it like sizzles out really fast that's what the thought just did in my brain like it came there and then all my cells were like they killed themselves the synapses in your brains off themselves but i really understand why water shoes exist but at the same time we were walking scam yeah we were walking barefoot in this creek and river and i already feel like my feet have gotten harder and more like viable for the earth but after we got out and i put my shoes on i really was like holy shit like shoes are the greatest thing we've ever invented ever period because like imagine fucking trekking on holy shit like shoes are the greatest thing we've ever invented ever period

because like imagine fucking trekking on the ground like that all the time like it would hurt like it's bullshit we need to invent soft uh concrete i want it you so bad imagine walking around barefoot all the time it would like hurt like and that's tea i fucking spilled like that's a crazy it's crazy it's like it feels nice to walk on certain concrete like non-porous like not street like sidewalk concrete feels really good on your feet and they're good for like it's really good you said they're good for chalk yeah like drawing like that same yeah it's like that feels good and like a driveway feels good but it's just like the bare street asphalt is horrifying like it's scary as fuck yeah i love uh going to the river and not

having water shoes because i like uh it feels like i'm using my body the way it was intended so that like all my like uh crevices of my feet are like landing where they should. Yeah, I love banging your mom and using my body the way it should be and like feeling all the crevices. Oh, that's funny because like I know your brain chemistry and that's not the way your body is supposed to be used. I banged your mom. Okay, well, just because you do something doesn't mean you should. I was talking about that with Josiah where I was like, oh, like when we say say your mom or I banged your mom, it doesn't mean, like, I'm banging your mom. It's literally, like, a whole other, like, entity of itself. It's like a filler sentence.

Yeah, exactly. It has zero meaning, quite literally. It's just, like, us saying shit out loud. Your mom's stinky pussy doesn't actually mean your mom's, like, coochie stinks. Exactly. he pussy doesn't actually mean your mom's like coochie stinks like if i was like oh like if i said your mom's name was like so and so like me acting like no one knows her name but if i was like pam's coochie stinks that's like that's pushing it like don't say that like that's like sorry mom my mom listens to every episode 14 times love you um but yeah like if saying that is crazy your vagina doesn't stink mom what. What? It's a vagina.

I mean, it's less about, like, the way you're saying it. As dry as your vagina. Dude, that shit was so great. I don't know what we're talking about. I'll look it up. It's a clip of Laganja Estranja. Laganja Estranja. Yeah, Laganja Estranja doing stand-up to old people.

And she's, like, burning so burning so hard well how about this some songs are being are made just to be sung on american idol and that's where it begins and ends and you're the one by shania twain was made to be sung by other people on american idol like she didn't realize she was creating the golden ticket song anybody could get on there and sing that song hallelujah is giving like the same energy like bitches who think they can sing and can kind of sing love singing hallelujah like put that shit to rest just like the fucking nate skull paint from american horror story for halloween like i'm like give it up for real so y'all i went to valencia where they filmed the tv show weeds now y'all it's very dry it's almost kind of like your vagina can i get

amen now y'all i am a tree hugger because if it ain't green i'm not interested okay i like i've always been like a firm believer in rupaul like that it it's never blaming on the edit like you said that shit blah blah blah blah but that truly was a blame it on the edit moment so much of that show is r root ball made that to fight the allegations and he thought if he made a brockhampton ass song that it would like distract us all for the blame it on the edit yeah he thought if he got barefaced on a on a root ball song that it would distract us from the fact that that is literally the truth like that's the whole show so much of the show is contriving yeah it's like there's no way in a room of 12 of the most extroverted people everyone is that silent when someone speaks yeah

like it's you just can't convince me of that but it's so awesome because i love how much they enjoy making shit silent like yeah the the crickets are the like all like the silence is literally the producers on that show are like geniuses like the a producer recently left like a really high up executive just left um drag race and they were saying like they worked on the last season and the new all-star season which they said is going to be one of the greatest seasons of all-star drag race ever but um the last season uh sasha wasn't supposed to win like the producers didn't want sasha to win she just did so good that she won and it was supposed to be mistress and anitra in the end in like the final and that's what the producers were producing towards but sasha just like won the fan vote and like they couldn't not make her the winner she's literally

she genuinely is one of the greatest one of the greatest that's ever been on that show like literally ever she was so good she swept she swept like bianca it's so hard to dude is that this oh it's leaning up against this oh i thought that it was your chair i said girl your chair is like actually cracking under your butt right now um my giant fucking little lumsh was ass luscious fat stinky butt that like is curvy like the earth well you know how everybody gets annoyed because they're like stop bringing back these fucking like washed up celebrities for endorsements and stuff and everybody's like everybody's playing into nostalgia everyone's playing into nostalgia stop it for like endorsements whether it be like you're seeing

paris hilton more you're seeing lindsey lohan more you're seeing like all these huge names for the 2000s but when you think about it it does make sense why all these companies are obsessed with bringing them back it's not so much as like we're cool like we're gonna like do the cool people thing it's literally because those are the phases you recognize from childhood but now you are an adult with your own money so they can just re-tap into that to make you look at the brand more because you are naturally whether you like it or not going to be curious about the fact that this person you grew up watching is now the face of a brand and you're gonna look and you're probably gonna buy because it's just that easy kalise was the on a billboard for uber for milkshakes and that greened me it was like oh it was like we'll bring the milkshake to your yard for uber i was like bitch i'm gonna fucking blow y'all up like

get her down yeah let her down we shouldn't i shouldn't be up here. That's literally how I thought about her being up there. I shouldn't be up here. I shouldn't be up here. Well, I learned how to squirt recently, like, in a really violent way. Out of your butt? Yes. It was really violent and nasty all over the place. Oh.

Wait, do you mean, like, poop or do you mean, like, a sexual squirt? Both. Oh, okay. It just happens at the same time. It's kind of like giving birth for you. Yeah's just like all holes erupt should i talk about my shit schedule recently i feel like i should no no i'm not giving it to you some things i want to keep to myself like i think vulnerability is like a superpower but there are some things in my life that i want to have discretion over like i want to be like i want to hold that

back like your bowel movement yeah i want to hold that yeah i mean like i would say most people definitely hold that back because it's not something that's smiled upon to talk about we need to talk about it more because like we all do it wait so do you want to normalize pooping or you want to hold discretion yeah free the poop Free the poop. Free the poop hole. What was I watching recently? Oh, it was literally Shoddy Bay. Oh, she's really. They were like her friends. She was like in LA and she was on live.

And her friend said something. I don't know how it got to the conversation because I was playing Fortnite and listening to her on live, which is like the craziest deal ever. And you had YouTube open on your vlogs that you watch. And so I had all my things going at once. And I didn't really hear it, but I just heard her friends go, oh oh my god so you're free the nipple she goes uh no uh no and then she goes more like free the cherries at this point of view and then her friends just said nothing because they didn't

understand like the joke she made but i think she was calling her own boobs like cherries because they're small and then her friends are just like huh and then it just moved on shoddy bay is so lit like she is literally an icon living and like i don't think she's appreciated enough um but she is the moment the girl yeah not many girls can shut down malls like that let's just say that let's start i mean i probably could yeah like let me put me in a mall yeah i'm literally i'm actually not allowed in malls anymore because every time i go it's like it's a parade inside my city every time i go i remember that shit yeah um all right all right right well i was gonna say um we really do need

to free the nipple just for me like we like the only you're allowed to show your nipples or you want to free the nipple so you can look at nipples exactly okay yeah that's because that's what i assume i mean like it's not that weird that i just want to play with them all the time um i was laughing with orion in the bathroom and we were laughing so hard together that i went to grab her arm and she had her arms right here because she was brushing her teeth and i literally grabbed her i went to grab her arm and my fingers went like this to her nipple. And we were.

Yeah, that was an accident. No, it wasn't. I didn't want to fucking touch the home. Oh, yeah. You sound suspect as fuck right now. Why are you grabbing our friend's boobs and nipples? I only wanted the nipple. So that's all I grabbed.

If I wanted to grab the boob, I would have fucking grabbed the whole thing. Little sandbags. Yeah, yeah. Boobs feel like concrete we know have you ever touched boobs podcast made by generative ai are here prepare to be bored what was that is that in your notes yeah no it was a wired article that popped up a notification oh yeah because i have apple i almost literally was gonna be like bitch why did you write the most like 38 year old headline of all time to be bored what was i saying to lose your mind oh yeah uh yeah i've played with a bunch of boobs before like you circling back to it makes me think you haven't played with boobs because like if i played with boobs i wouldn't be like so stuck on the fact of like making that no you know you know um what's

that fucking juice that the dude that broke into our house drank naked juice you know the girthiness of that that's what like the inside of a boob feels like like a naked juice why have you been inside a boob i was asking if you've touched a boob like no one's been inside well no like when you grab it you can feel it from the outside this episode is brought to you by samsung galaxy ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker with audio erase on the new samsung galaxy s25 ultra you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what.

Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. No, deadass big things are coming. I'm going to be sick soon. So, like, y'all are going to have to take care of me. We already went over this. I'm paying someone to do that. I'm paying someone to be on house rest with you. To take care of you from the other side of the house while I sit in my room.

Oh, okay. I'll pay you guys to sponge bath. Me? Yeah. Like, you'll pay so that you can do it? I'll pay, like, two grand two grand oh he needs help already wait it seems like he's he got a lot worse all of a sudden oh well he just faints so he's like i soiled myself okay all right i mean we could pause and i'll just i'll clean you up help me kai clean me did when people are like yeah like i i've been with my partner so much i've

like changed our diapers i would much rather kill myself i would genuinely much rather end my life right now so death do us part no bitch like why would i do that no i'm not doing that that is crazy do more blood ceremonies at weddings who's doing a blood ceremony at a wedding that's what i'm saying oh you're saying people need to do that yeah like mix their blood weddings are already culty enough like weddings are very cultish weddings are weird like let's talk about that like getting a bunch of people from each side and it's like what girls on this side boys on that side like these are my girls those are your boys like it's like yeah it's like playground fun for adults but it's also giving like weird i don't know that's all i can say about it like it's such a big deal like if you want to throw a party throw a fucking party like you don't have to do all that yeah i do understand them

though like it's like normal pilled people just like doing what they want to do and they're happier than me so 100 that's that's all i can say about that like literally do what you want to do and they're happier than me so 100 that's that's all i can say about that like literally do what you want to do because we're all gonna die in in 200 years where we're forgotten no one's gonna know what the fuck happened no one's gonna remember that wedding so like also time dilation is very fucking real i turned 23 and i'm already 25 and like it felt like it felt like three months have passed i did see you wait are you 25 right now no wait because i feel like i saw a clip from the podcast where you said you were 24 or 23 i am 16 you're like you went into like reboot like you went into like reboot. Like you went into like automatic response. I am 16.

Here is my birth certificate. You ever seen Benchwarmers? What? No. Oh my God. What is that? It's like one of the best movies ever. You say that about every movie you've ever seen. I say that about everything I've ever experienced ever.

Which is honestly awesome. But everything Drew has ever seen, like, partaken in or, like, consumed is the best thing until the next one. And that's honestly a fantastic way to live your life. Because I crave the next experience so much more. Because I'm like, oh, wow. It's going to be the best thing I've ever experienced in my life. I will say Guardians of the Galaxy was the best movie I've ever seen, period. Not actually. I think also you sometimes confuse, like, good company with a good experience.

What do you mean? If you see anything or do anything with the right group of people, it's the best time of your life, even if it was, like, the worst thing. But I do that too like it's like it's i think it's a reaction to like that's why people with adhd get addicted to certain foods and like certain like they get hyper fixated because it's like oh my god that experience was so good i could do it again and i do that all the time where i'm like i have to go get this coffee or this drink or this food from this place because it was such a good time but then by the time i get sick of it when i think back to the first time i had it, it wasn't necessarily the thing I was having, but it was the friends I made along the way.

Yeah, it's like the friends I love more than they will ever love me. They actually perceive me for once, maybe even for half a second. And it just feels great. You are literally the most annoying person on the fucking planet. I'm all alone, y'all. Truly. Drew's been doing this thing where he keeps, he literally in a room where everybody is reflecting, will keep calling himself invisible.

But then it gets to the point where you just start ignoring him because like, how many times can you be like, bitch, we heard you. And then he just does it until you actually start ignoring him. And then he's like, wow. Yeah. Oh my fucking God. my fucking god really really crazy no but i literally like am an ignored being but what we should do is show this unburned photo oh kai you are not ready this is it's from big sir i'm gonna preface this photo it really is one of the most horrifying things I've seen of myself ever, I think. Like, I think I am a nasty, gross person with a nasty fucking body. And it's dangerous.

And this photo altered my brain chemistry forever because it is the most vile thing you will ever lay your eyes on. Before you show me, do you think it's worse than the devon pool photo yes yeah 100 no questions asked really you mean the one of his hair yeah that one's just his hair this one this one is like body like it's giving it's giving nasty body all right let me see oh my god you look like a piece of garlic i look like a ninja turtle like i've got a big fucking shell on my back no you look like you slipped out of your piece of gum no it's really really jarring but my sunburn is like really bad that does feel like it would sell for like three hundred thousand dollars though it's alive ew it turns

me pink ew dude we're never showing that ever oh my god why did that happen at the end oh that looks like a scene from prometheus or something yes it literally looks like literally shedding your skin the face sucker's bursting out of my butt. Oh, fuck. Oh my god, bro. What's wrong with you? He just fucking passed out. Did it peel? It looks like it peeled. No, I don't know. It hasn't peeled yet. Is it peeling yet?

Oh no, it's not too bad. No, but it actually looks like somebody fucking went at you with like a back scratcher that had like pointed tips like back rolls i will say your waist looks very very small thank you in that photo yeah but it's literally that's literally my worst nightmare what to be small no but your waist is small that's good thank you thank you and it looks like you know it's it's an illusion because my back is 78 inches wide um and it just looks everything in its um vicinity really small um well other people's joy makes me so upset that's it oh yeah and like it's crazy because like why does other people's joy make me upset

and it's because like i don't want to see other people joyous because i feel like i have so much joy to catch up on so if i know someone had a good life and they're still experiencing extreme joys i'm like when is your pain and suffering gonna come we need it to come faster like i'm about to amazon prime ship into your front door because i want you to experience like extreme pain and like sadness and then it goes as see girl it's getting in so holy that's probably why like um i don't like when other people like the music i like because i'm like you're not experiencing the same joy i'm feeling because you're perceiving this song differently than i am and like but why does that even matter like why do i hate sharing music because i hate other people being

happy over the music and somebody's gonna hear this shit and be like am I the only one who hates that? And you're so fucking pessimistic, bitch, I'm just being real, like, and everybody hates that, like, I'm, like, openly admitting that. But that's all the internet is all the internet is, is like being envious of other people's joy. Like, of course, they're like, really solid parts where that's not a thing. But also, obviously, to a certain extent, I'm joking, because bitch, I actually don't give a fuck what other people are up to. It has nothing to do with with me and i only have so much space in my brain and i consume all of it with fortnite at this point so it doesn't really matter but it is crazy like why does other people like liking the music i like bother me you have the same thing like

it's like such a big thing what i think that was your magnum opus i swear to god like i saw you enter a flow state just um yeah my magnum opus was my hate tangent yeah um i yeah also like that's like not like fully true but i was joking about that with josh yesterday we were like talking about how it's so funny how like we're just bitter people to a certain extent because why does other people why does it bother us when other people like if somebody plays a song that i showed them and they don't say that i showed them the song why am i like yeah no that's you swear you're me like no you swear you're better than me like no i am better than you like it's crazy and it's so funny but um other people's joy doesn't actually upset me also i feel like i need to clarify that because everybody thinks i'm actually walking

around with like the most hatred in my heart but you would be um happy to know that i walk around with my brain shut off so there's that yeah and i've been getting high as fuck so i'm just like double down on like being turned off you go um also you can um see if like i can immediately clock in a conversation if someone has experienced loss or not um and i just wanted to say that like i i know i can look you in your eyes before you even say a word and know if you've lost someone close to you. Yeah, 100%. It's also funny because talking to anybody, you can tell if they've been through anything tumultuous because it is such it shows if you talk to anybody about relationships, you will know so much about their life just from the way they perceive relationships both platonic and romantic and it's fucking insane because it's like damn you

haven't been pushed into a corner of like solitude yeah like you can see in my eyes that i lost a bunch of money in crypto like yeah you could see the law you could just see for like that in a lot of ways not just in your eyes but i mean if you think the eyes are the ones i said it as a joke i said it as a joke and then you guys sorry that's not real loss and maybe you'd hit me i mean it's real loss because you feel okay one more big one. Oh, my God. I just, like, don't find that kind of stuff cool.

You know, like. You literally hit me last episode. Hello. Okay, but did I hit you and say, oh, that's cool? No, I was embarrassed. We literally had a whole conversation after about how it's our new normal and that it's chill well it's our normal but that doesn't make it make it cool you know dude that hurt my fucking hands so bad kai you fucking hurt me with your face i'm sorry what are you gonna do to repay him probably like give him a crazy dome i knew you

were gonna say that you know what's crazy is apple has such a strong arm in the tablet society that nobody calls tablets ipad like everybody calls tablets ipads but some of y'all don't have ipads bitch you have a tablet that is not an ipad i literally want to sell my ipad and my pc and get that asus computer oh the one that like you can like the really cool one but i'm not saying it out loud because it's so hard to get but like it's basically an ipad and it's as powerful as my pc but in an ipad form factor with um the ability to connect to a monitor and i'm just like oh dude that would free up so much desk space like it would it would just make my life so much easier to not have that giant big ass disgusting

ass pc in my room that collects dust yeah you do not use that well that's because you should be playing you should be playing fortnite on there and you would get a lot of use out of it that's what i think i did update fortnite last night so i might might we have to play duos ranked to see if we can like make it to the top i know that we will probably be humbled very quickly oh i was humbled immediately i was so happy off that win i got thank god i didn't post that i would have been humiliated i would have been humiliated with the rank i got the first game i played i got silver two the first time i played and without seeing the chart of like the rankings i was like damn that's pretty good like getting silver like

gold is next that's pretty awesome bitch yeah it's gold then it's like four other categories so i was second to last it's that doesn't mean like your gameplay or like how you play that's like so you have to win a bunch in a row and get a bunch of kills to go up in the rank it's not like it's not like an accumulative thing based on your like yeah because it's like has a percentage and it like goes up and up yeah yeah yeah um but i think if you if i played like the fucking greatest game of all time in the first one, I probably would have landed in gold instead of silver. You did, though.

No, I landed in silver. You had 17 kills. Yeah, I had 17 kills. And she was playing solo duos. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, guys. It's, like, my best game so far. 17 kills.

Just, like, easy. Honestly, it's easy. Like, it's too easy. Yeah, that like it's too easy like the game is too fucking easy that's why i stopped playing it um but yeah let me open the notes let me open the notes um okay oh this is a good one um okay this may be problematic but i genuinely believe that britney spears is green screened in and not real anymore oh you were telling me about this i haven't seen anything about yeah i there's some clips where I'm like, oh, that's like, really, really fucking sus. Britney Spears filter. Um, because this specific video really, really freaked me out. So you see her hands go above her face once. Watch when they come back down.

I wanted to post screenshots of the AI filter coming off so people could see for a bit longer just how insane this is. Isn't that curious? Yeah. It's like the Kim Kardashian filter glitch. Doesn't the flowers disappear too, right? right yeah there's flowers in the background disappearing the tattoo i was always like iffy about i was like oh that's probably just weird lighting or something um but then there's like some someone did like a uh like a breakdown of they like recolored the image or something like u, UV mapped it or some shit, then made it all black and white.

And the background was entirely blank, and it literally just looked like she was green-screened in there. It was very curious. And then now there's, like, this one's a reach, in my opinion, but, like, all of the wedding photos that have been coming out, I'm like, girl, Madonna was there. Like, what are you talking about? Donatella was there. Donatella. I feel like, girl, Madonna was there. Like, what are you talking about? Donatella was there. Donatella.

I feel like everything is sketchy, but the flowers disappearing to me is like, that is very weird. Why would the flowers disappear when her arm goes over it? Yeah, it's really, really sus. I just am like, so... Like, I i'm like but then what does that what does that even mean like what does it lead to does it lead to the fact that like people still believe that she's under what's it called uh house arrest yeah not house arrest but it's like when her

family still has control over everything yeah yeah um i wish there was just a way for her to say something but like i i guess like she could say something if she wanted to but even if she did it's so far down that it this will literally follow her till the day she actually dies like wait so are people assuming she's like not people yeah people think she's dead and that they replaced her with like deep fake um technology and then that's like literally that's kind of like the whole theory but i don't know i just feel bad for her um because i would hate for this conversation to be had about me um but yeah i feel bad for her because she literally at no point has been allowed to live a normal life.

Yeah. What I will say is like the one part of me that makes me not believe that it's deep fake is only a person who is actually like her could post the way she posts on Instagram. She posts on Instagram in such a specific way that feels so real to her personhood that I genuinely am like, there's no way her family has it down to a specific way that feels so real to her personhood that I genuinely am like, there's no way her family has it down to a T like that. Like, I don't know. Like, it's just so funny. The shit she posts, her Instagram will always be the most interesting ever. Interesting thing ever. And I can only see like her posting that, but that shit is weird.

But then I'm also like, this is just me playing devil's advocate but you know like how sometimes when you just pause a video at any or any moment you can look at the screen and be like how the fuck did the camera like pick that shit up so weirdly it could be like compression like weird compression artifacts or something like that which like i definitely thought about but like also it's giving like there's so much of this shit happening constantly where i'm just kind of like okay something something is like genuinely seriously off and i really typically don't fall for like shit like this like i don't even but also i haven't given a second thought since i saw it three weeks ago until just now um So like it literally doesn't affect me or bother me at all. The face thing is weird, but what's really kind of sinister about TikTok and even just like the built in camera app on your iPhone is that it does like a default level of like beautifying.

Yeah. You can't take off. Yeah. Like I've noticed on. On live streams specifically. Yeah. Like I've noticed on like live streams specifically yeah like i've noticed on like snaps off and on yeah i'm like things that were shot purely on instagram reels

people's faces will flicker and it's like i know this person's not putting a beauty filter on yeah like i they're not the type of person to do that it's just like default on it so i feel like which is so bizarre that's that's weird i feel like that's doing very weird you know what it is it's like oh my god i look so good in this tiktok app subconsciously and i'm just gonna use it and post more yeah 100 it becomes like subconsciously addictive because you're so obsessed with how you look on the app yeah it is like a subconscious thing um everybody is talking about the like ai on this video but no one's talking about this video like the way she dances in this is fucking insane at one point she goes like this like yeah wait that's giving illuminati hand sign like also i love that it's a janet song okay yeah i love this um and i hope it's not ai

because like i really do just recognize burtney as somebody who like does this because also like right i yeah i just am like this is so her i can't see anybody moving their body in this way and not being her. But I don't know, that is so fucking weird. It also just sucks because with apps like TikTok, those like theories become so much larger than life. And I think everybody is like quick to forget that. It's just a funny like double edged sword because everybody talks about it so much because all of us obviously know her public history and that she's never been safe to just do what she wants especially post like what like 2003 her life just fucking shattered even as a kid her shit was fucked up um but so now we all talk about it all the time because we want to make

sure that that's not the case but then i almost feel like it does the opposite like yeah the pendulum swings all the way back around where it's like leave her the fuck alone yeah stop talking about her and but we all get involved in it because you're like i don't want that to happen again it's like sad to think about but then it probably just goes back in the circle and i bet that like so far left it becomes right yeah it like almost adds fuel to like the people against her in her life too because they're like see like even the people following you think you're crazy but it's just her in her backyard fucking dancing with a with a soft filter yeah exactly also what's fucking crazy is no one has ever asked if i'm okay oh uh that's like a weird

transition in a safe place i mean like what does this have to do with you i yeah i've had filters bounce off my face before hello like talk about me oh my god um and i'm not even jealous or anything like that people aren't talking about me. It weirdly feels like you just like took everything we said as like a fuel for your own fire. Like you want that. And I also want a tapeworm. So let's talk about that. I can get you one of those. That's easy.

I know a guy. I want a tapeworm just to see what it feels like. And then I want to get rid of it immediately. A kid in fifth grade who I knew and we were friends with him had a tapeworm. And I remember being the most terrifying thing I'd ever heard in my life. Like the idea that there's just a worm in his body taking all his nutrients. And it freaked all of us out. And he got it because they were traveling but when they came back they brought back this like jade egg on like a little like three like prong stool thing like that was the gift his mom gave to our family

from their trip why was that such a big thing like was that a thing for y'all like the like the marble eggs that sat on like little like fake stools i would get them at like main event like that was the vibe like from like an arcade or like those like balls like the steel balls yeah that whole arc what i almost made a joke that would have had to been cut so i just didn't say it um well i don't know did i talk about my mom literally giving me two full bottles of Zoloft and sent me home with them? My grandma got extra Zoloft for some reason. And my mom was like, here, Drew, you need these.

Like, please, please just try it. Please just take these. Like, I'm begging you, please. Damn. Am I like that fucked up? I know. Are you okay? Actually, now it seems appropriate.

Oh, see, now y'all are going to try to 5150 me and make me the bad guy. No, that doesn't make you the bad guy. We're just like worried for you. Like, I'm fine. If I disappear and come back, it's a fucking robot. And these bitches are the ones up to it. They're like, oh, my God, we need to keep doing this. I can't let my income go down.

Like, we just we have to deep fake and we have to we have to make a robot out of them if i disappear yeah well you just cut it and come back and i'm recording it on my phone i'm recording it on my phone just know i'm a robot hey drew no one's ever gonna see that okay also what makes you think you're not already the robot you are the robot like we replaced you a long time ago oh fuck you're just becoming self-aware oh fuck oh fuck what was i gonna say you said drew what did i say hold on oh my god i said i'm ai if i come back yeah and then what did you say i'm gonna censor that information fuck there was something right in between there that i wanted this is why i cut people off this is why when i'm speaking to people that that information. Fuck, there was something right in between there that I wanted. This is why I cut people off. This is why when I'm speaking to people that I, in the middle of the conversation,

have to get my thought out. Because if I don't, it's lost in the ether forever. And someone else is going to grab my thought from the thought ether. Do you think that happens to regular people? Or can they just hold the thought while someone else is speaking? I think we are not reactionary conversationalists like we don't wait for we don't react to what they're actually saying we think of something in the middle and then say it ourselves and it might follow along with the conversation but like i think that's based on like

the way we conversate. Yeah. It's like the whole thing where we're just waiting for the next person to stop talking so we can talk. It's not really like it's a conversation, but it's not because I'm just waiting my turn. Like I'm just in line. Being my life just feels like being in line to talk. Like I'm always in line to talk.

I have the. I'm queued up. On my phone, I have my notes list from every single episode ever and i just found um the first episode the gender of a baja blast um screen time sour like funky getting the johnson and johnson vaccine um i swear i could get across those big red balls oh on wipe out which is very real my personality i really don't think you could but yes keep going i guess we'll agree to disagree um i mean i guess you'll just have to prove me wrong we gotta get you on wipe out dead ass like let's fucking do it like actually humiliating that would be you know the bungee jumping video

it would be that times like 80 have you seen that video oh yeah are you allowed to tap out of wipe out like am i allowed to jump on the first ball fall off and be like okay i'm done this is fucking humiliating i'm not doing this none the wiser like yeah they can just cut me out yeah and then weed psychosis um how inya wants to be violent again inya grew out of fighting phase and is going right back into it and then i didn't because i grew and now i'm so awesomely not um upset ever living presently and consistently i'm gonna start sedating myself it's crazy because i started to do the complete opposite i do not live present by any means i am not here and then in four months i'll be like damn i wish it was that time again fuck like that was so good so bad but also i don't know why no one's talking about this but this year has gone by so incredibly fast and like a scary scary scary fucking way where

like normally like i'm like oh yeah like july or january through april like yeah that shit goes by like immediately everyone knows that like that's the tea but it normally stops there like it normally like doesn't keep accelerating but like for some reason here we are you know what it is when you talk you are saying things that i agree with but hearing them come out of your mouth make it seem so much crazier sometimes because you don't respect me but no it's because i'm hearing another person say something that i think and then hearing it i'm like oh dude i'm like damn that does sound like a crazy person thing to say it's really crazy how synced up our brains have gotten um it's like because our periods can't sync up our

brains did yeah and that's why women are so inferior because if you didn't have your periods everybody's brains would be syncing up and we'd be more intelligent but like our bodies are too making busy making our periods sink why does that happen like what is that a real thing is that scientifically back stink sink oh you know they stink they do though they do sync up okay we all know that we know they fucking stink like fucking smelly eggs and like butthole like it doesn't matter dog water was it is that what it was it was dog surgery um but the reason they sync up is because we are village critters we lived in villages when we were little, and it was good for the males to have all of the girls ovulating at once so they could just go around in a circle and bang them all and spread their seed as fast as possible.

Okay, so synchronized periods is a myth. What? I thought that was real. No, it's not real. I believe it. I've had multiple women tell me i was about to say that that happens to them literally every girl in my life has at one point i think it literally might just be like by coincidence well it does confirm sync up to the moon periods have like a direct correlation to the moon periods are beautiful it's so pretty to be a woman shut the fuck up bitch this long ass article tell me yes or no y'all swear i'm gonna read that shit

bro stop writing articles we literally have too many we like actually have too many about certain things like unless there is a real update stop writing articles also why did google make it that when i looked shit up like i could see an article from like 1912 why the fuck are you uploading the archive to google like that shit is so old it has nothing to do with today well if we don't learn from history it repeats itself hello boom mic drop moment i ate okay so um periods don't sink that was a fucking lie that was a literal that was a lie to make you feel connected to the people around you when really the only thing that connects you to the people around you is your vicinity to them and your emotional and physical and like biological connection to them actually means fucking

nothing let that sink in let that sink up the sink is at the door knocking like a sink is at the door knocking let that sink in you've seen that yeah i mean okay um okay well let's do some media her media of the arm okay so beautiful boys coca ros, Bruja Arca, Entertainment, Spirit of the Beehive, and Calor Arca. I've been in my Arca arc. I've been listening to Arca as I work out, and it's one of the greatest decisions I've ever made in my life also arca literally is just like one of the most talented producers in our lifetime and what she's doing to music is what the beatles think or what is what people think the beatles did for music yeah arca is putting us in the future she's actually putting in the work yeah but i just found out that two artists i listened to were in the beatles like george harrison was in the beatles

was that the one paul mccartney who was gonna tell me that huh paul mccartney no wait is that the other artist yeah no i think it's just george harrison paul mccartney has a really good album ram on with his wife linda mccartney has a really good album ram on with his wife linda mccartney but it's only one song two songs that i like um but yeah i really like george harrison and josiah told me in the car that that person was in the beatles he's a beetle it's funny though because the single music is better um i like the beatles okay like fine like y'all got it out of me like stop being stop being fucking angry. Like, who gives a fuck? Like, oh, now things are different.

Now I can make fun of the Beatles. Now that I've admitted that, like, they make okay music. Like, Beatles. Okay, here's my media of the week. Morning by Post Malone. Middle Ground by Maroon 5. Waffle House by the Jonas Brothers. If we ever broke up, Mae Stevens.

1, 2, 3, 4, Feist. Calm Down by Rema and Selena Gomez. Side Effects by Becky Hill and Louis Thompson. And then Meltdown by Niall Horan. one two three four feist um calm down by selena gomez side effects by becky hill and lewis thompson uh and then meltdown by niall horan that's actually my media of the week wow please whoever keeps up with those playlists do not put those songs wait mine is actually y'all heard of one direction who is that it's like this boy band that was created by Simon Cowell. Oh, for like American Idol? Basically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like these boys that make great music. Together? Oh. Do they all sing at the same time? No, they like take turns. Oh, okay. They sing together sometimes, though.

Oh, okay. Pitching a boy band for the first time well how are they all gonna like be in the same song they can't all sing at the same time it's like oh they'll like go one after the other yeah and then during like chorus and hook they'll like all chime in match match each other's wait hold the fuck up hold the phone why are y'all matching my energy why does the viewers match my energy wait why is the viewer low-key always holding the phone like hold the phone you're holding your phone all right um well that's not my actual media but i just decided that i'm not giving media no i'll give a little

some i'll give a listen listen i give this something um but yeah whoever keeps up with those please do not put that in there i'll belong to you oh i already said this i already said this uh i've been listening to a lot of carol king i just i'm i guess i'm just a little too sensitive by orange juice um i know i'm literally serving carol king with my hair. And nobody wants to admit it. Nobody's talking about it. It's really weird. Nobody knows.

Nobody knows. I don't know. Fuck All Night by Jay-Z. Stay With Me for Elle Williams. Oh, I'm So High. Grind Mode. Wait, Grindr? Yeah, Grind Mode. Wait, Grinder? Yeah, Grinder. They made music.

They make music for the app. Oh, okay. Yeah. Weird. And then All Around the World by Lisa Stansfield and Ian Devaney, Andy Morris. Bitch, why are you adding those names? Or did they remaster that song? They are not on that song.

Being around the world. I can't find my baby. I don't know where. I don't know why. Okay. If someone held a gun to your head and told you to say the lyrics to one song, what was the song that

you would be able to do? My ABCs. Wow. song what was the song that would you would be able to do my abcs wow uh genuinely a millie by little wayne wow that's honestly awesome i watched someone die in front of me and then i went to the car and listened to that music that song over and over and over again oh so your trauma bonded to that song yeah that's sweet all right well that was the episode thank you guys so much for watching been around the world Outro Music