Emergency Intercom - Enya Is Still A 1D Stan

Episode Date: June 10, 2022

Enya reminisces about her One Direction stan era that turns out has never really ended, and Drew talks about being star struck by Christian Walker. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Not that classist out. Hands up. Oh, literally.

Sorry. Damn. Like, you literally were so slow to understand what I was saying. Four seconds! It took you four seconds to piss me off on the podcast! Four freaking seconds. Drew's having his unspiked can. That's his cup of joe. This is my tea for the day.

Wait, tea. Drew is still saying tea seriously in every given situation um it's really fucked up i was talking about um like grieving my mother tea and yeah that's literally tea like it's giving tea though i don't know if it's like tea it's not like gossip um but no it's like that like that's tea like it's true yeah like yeah like you're spilling the druth I'm sipping the druth tea you should know that you should just start saying like that's the druth the druth is the new lice do you know what I mean yeah but it's it's more than that it's a religion it's a way you don't have to explain it to me girl oh okay i'm sorry i mean like yeah i thought you would be appreciative that for once i was like acknowledging it and like no i don't need

that from you anymore oh you've moved on we have an army um dude i'm really hot like like sexy or like physically hot like physically hot i feel like it's been really cold in the house and i keep waking up with migraines so maybe we do have black mold yes because i wake up every single morning with a migraine but it goes away instantly it's not black mold now i figured out what it is what is it it's a gas leak oh my god we literally have a gas leak and it's seeping gas into the air constantly you're so annoying like two weeks ago i was out with our friends and he was like he texted me he's like we have it oh my god we have a natural gas leak in my head what i thought that meant is that someone knocked on the door and was like oh my gosh there was something happened in the neighborhood like we need to evacuate whatever whatever and i was

like oh my gosh how do you know and he was like it just smells kind of funny and i and and then he said wait i want to look it up because your your text was so like you googled something in the span like in between our texts i just have all this information in my brain constantly because I'm super paranoid. But no, the house smelled like, literally like sulfur, which is what they put in natural gas to make it have a smell. Or propane to make it have a smell because naturally propane doesn't have a smell. But if there's a propane leak, you should know about it. So they put, like, an odor in it to make it smell and that's what i was smelling because i remember when my dad would grill i would smell that shit all the time and i was like okay the house is going to explode

like let me not like light anything oh so it wasn't a natural gas leak it was just a gas leak um but he said it's propane natural gas i don't know i you were the one saying natural gas so i was like i was thinking like yield and like what killed the fucking dinosaurs i was like i was expecting my house to explode that's literally what i was expecting was like the house to explode into shrapnel and wood and to turn everything into dust and it's just like an isolated vent on the corner of the um corner of our block and like people are like, oh my God, yeah, there was like an explosion that killed like eight people. No, it killed two things, Drew and Azul.

Yeah, exactly. And everybody else was at work because it was like a Monday. Girl, two things? What do you mean? I'm up, people. No. No, you're not.

You're more than that. You're an icon. You're no longer humanized. Icon, icon, icon. Here's the text he said to me he said there's the really there's the really bad smell filling the house and i thought natural gas immediately because i know wait i'm going to start from the beginning actually i said he called me and i didn't answer and then i called him back i just need to say um i have typos in my text

like if you text me you know this and you get used to it and you just learn to assume and understand what I'm saying. Because every other word is either misspelled or like not grammatically correct or like whatever it is. And what it is, is I don't give a fuck. Like people know exactly what I'm trying to say. Like when people have typos to me, I'm not like, do you mean this? No, I think Drew is dyslexic actually. what I'm trying to say like when people have typos to me I'm not like do you mean this no I'm like do you mean this actually so I'm like wait we have to talk about that what the acting coach said to you oh yeah literally so we were doing this like self-tape yeah I'm an actor baby I'm an actor baby

and um I had read my lines like all night so I had them like memorized and then he was like why don't we just like try like reading them off the screen and like this person is um the person who you're like doing this scene with and i was like okay and like he was like scrolling through and like i was just like constantly mixing up the words and shit and he was like you have dyslexia don't you and i was like yeah i've like never been diagnosed with dyslexia. I just lied to him because I was embarrassed because I don't know how to fucking read out loud. But I can literally smell the smell now. The natural gas smell. Really?

Because I'm right next to the stove. I don't smell it. I don't smell anything. Maybe I'm just tricking my brain into thinking it's a rat. Oh my God. But yeah, back to the type of shit i can assume what you're trying to say and i don't have to send back like oh did you mean this because yes you knew that's what i fucking meant like i i know what you're trying to say you don't have to fucking correct me drew's just really bad uh grammatically because also like

so many times in our day i hear him say something and i'm like huh and he's like oh i i just said it to my phone so it writes it yeah literally i just yell it into my phone because i'm like one i'm like i don't want to type all that shit out and two i don't know how to spell that word and it's honestly genius like i'm utilizing the feature in a way they never even expected or he just turned on like the predictive thing okay so here it is he called me keep going he called me i didn't answer because i didn't see it and then i called him back and he didn't answer and then he called me again and i didn't answer so then i said hey what's up he said i think we might have a natural gas leak but i'm not sure how to tell

slash if we have a sensor lol which immediately i was like you think we have a natural gas leak but you're not sure how to tell like and i said hmm is the oven on like why do i feel that because i use like the stove all the time so i was like we're on the same wavelength so i was like maybe i like also i have before knocked into the knobs and turned it on and then i was like uh tell like our landlord to send someone over like it would be simple and he goes there's the really bad smell filling the house and i thought natural gas immediately because i know they put a chemical in gas that smells like rye and eggs because natural gas on its own is odorless and i said hmm want to call the landlord and then he didn't say anything to that and then

i was trying to give drama i was trying to be like oh i know it was it was so annoying because i was like i'm literally out and like now you're gonna give me paranoia yeah i was giving drama when i wasn't responding, I'll be honest. And I don't know what I said in the audio message. I'm not going to play it. Or should I play it? Sure. See, you feed into my delusions that's the thing

no because you were scaring me I was like you know what it was it was one of those moments I was like dude Azul would die first because she's so small that if she's inhaling it's like the parakeets that they bring into the ship on arrival or in the mine shafts yeah I'm like Azul's gonna die first because she's probably in the kitchen snooping around the garbage

and she's gonna inhale all the gas first also maybe turn on like the she's probably in the kitchen snooping around the garbage and she's gonna inhale all the gas first that's the other thing if we don't have batteries in our car we do we do i looked at it we do have batteries not the one in my bedroom but the one in the hallway it's on it's just hanging off the wall anyway drew had me fucking occupied forever and then i um called him and i was like hey like if you want to like you could just uber to home depot and they have like the testers and he was just like oh i don't think i want to do that because he's more lazy than he is like he says i would rather die $15 on an uber i would rather die and have every fiber of my being ripped apart and exploded down to the like atomic molecular level didn't have to drive to home depot or uber to home depot to get

batteries to put it in the carbon monoxide detector but before we finish the story let's hear from our ads let's hear from us our ad reads our sponsors let's hear from our sponsors oh my god girl you're good at that. Yeah. Okay. We can just pick it up. Oh, wow. That was beautiful.

That was beautiful. And then he was just like, oh, no, I'm not going to do anything. And then didn't text me back forever. And I was like, oh, my God. So that was like. So I was like, what are you going to do? Didn't say anything to me for an hour. And then I said, any updates?

He said, nope. Widow's open. Smells still around. And I said, again, you can get a tester at Home Depot. And he said, I'd be dead already. LOL, LOL, LOL. And I said, is it that fast? And then that ended there.

And I was like, fuck this motherfucker. I'm like out like at a museum, like on my phone, trying to see if my friend's like dying. Yeah, as you should. If people aren't constantly thinking about me, what the fuck are they doing? Because I am literally the only actually alive person on this planet. And no one else can prove to me that that's. Well, if you want people to see the way kai just looked at me when i said that was very suspicious it was like i caught him looking at me and like he's

supposed to be like acting like he is you know what i'm saying like he's supposed to be acting like he's not just like you two are putting on the performance of your lifetime being around me every single day of the life every single day and then at night like you go and report back to like the truman show like um producers and you're like how did i do like should i add some flavor to it like you suffer from delusions of grandeur quite often yeah well no not delusions of grandeur it's more like um i think you're schizophrenic true i think you're i think you guys need to shut the fuck up oh and I'm gonna I'm gonna let my alters come out anyways oh also circling back around to the self-tapes me and Drew did not talk about this this is literally so embarrassing okay for reference I've done a few self-tapes like and I obviously have not gotten any parts I'm like really lazy with it it's actually really

upsetting I should take the chance to like go to acting class and work on it whatever but I'm a busy girl and I like would rather have fun than like you'd rather like further my career um so I've like done a bunch of self-tapes before and like I usually don't like I never go in being like I'm gonna get this because I'm like I don't take classes i never practice this like i'm not gonna go in self-tape and like miraculously get it the closest i've gotten is like being told to do like a second round of self-taping um which honestly is just them being like you know what you should do right now is spend money for nothing and then me being like okay like i guess i have nothing better to do um but me and drew went and neither of us had like spoken about it like or i don't know i don't know what about

it got our hopes up i think it was like you're like um you had like this optimism i had it was the both of us doing it yeah i was like okay one this is really cute and also i literally thought it was made for us like that's the thing is i thought it was made for us but like our agent was like no this is like literally made for you and i was like oh my god i was like oh my god they wrote something for me like with me in mind and i didn't like try to clarify that and i literally thought it was on my end i understood that like someone being like oh like this part was literally made for us. Which on my end, I understood that like someone being like, oh, like this part was literally made for you just means like, oh, it's like the character is you.

So it's like, it should be easy to do a self-tape for it. If that self-tape ever leaked, I would actually kill myself. It would be so bad. I literally can't. You know what's funny though is the fact that you still walked away and we were like. So basically.

All right. So they gave us the song. I won't say the name of the song that like is going to be like the soundtrack that they're choosing, because I think that's literally fucking illegal. But they told us this song. It's like a song I know. And that song already makes me happy. And it's a good song. It's a good song it's a good song so like

on the way there on the way there I was playing it just because I had listened to it that morning of the self-tape because I was like dude I haven't heard this song in so long and because I'm a piece of shit and I don't read my lines until literally an hour before I need to leave the house so I like saw that it plays and then I was like oh my god this song's so good I was listening oh this was also my first audition ever yeah i have to let you let that let you in on that little secret um so we were like on the way there and i was playing the car in the car and like drew was driving so i could again i'm a piece of shit i was so i could memorize my lines in the car um so drew was driving we were like going back and forth because like one of the scenes we weren't doing a self-tape together but one of the scenes we like work

would have together so we were like going back and forth trying to like help each other remember the lines we got there i went in did my self-tape like per usual i'm like that's probably the most average job i could do as a human on this planet serve went back to the car and then drew went back and like i don't know what about it like for some reason me and drew were like wait now that we're doing it like i actually really want it because like now i'm going out of my way to do this thing like leading up to it we were kind of but it's just like no whatever like we'll do it our agents are like telling us to it's good experience like it's good practice we're not going to get the part like it's

whatever like this is just fun and like when i was like on the car ride over there I was like thinking about it and like I I had that like feeling of like like excitement and like almost like like a passion for this like craft to like pursue and I was like oh my god I literally haven't felt this since like we started like the podcast or like since we'd like we're talking about field trip and i was like this is so exciting like i literally like would love to like pursue this further it is so funny because then drew came back and he literally was like i'm gonna pit myself like i'm literally not hungry because i like i hated that yeah like drew like did not enjoy his experience oh no it was so bad it was self-taping in front of also to clarify we were

doing it with an acting coach um who i had been to multiple times so i went in and i was like i'm gonna come in here act like i memorized the lines for a week and you're gonna believe me because i just remembered them in the car 20 minutes ago even though i literally never said any of this out loud before this moment but basically um we got out we sat in the car and like we just like fantasize and romanticize and we're like wait like why are we literally gonna get the part and like we were like the thing is we never even said that to each other in secrecy and both in our brains we were like why are we literally about to be stars like why are we about to be the lead to? And, like, I took this to Air One to get food, and we were sitting eating.

And literally, like, the other day when we were at the car play this weekend, and I broke it, I was like, the way we both had a secret delusion that we were going to get that part. No, I was like, my first lead is going to be in an A24 film. Like, this is crazy.

Like, I cannot believe I'm this good. And literally, we were both like, both of us walked out being like yeah i did probably the most mediocre job like it's embarrassing on my part but somehow like there was a delusion in the back of our head listening to us talking we were both like my life after today it's gonna be different this is gonna be in the documentaries yeah i'm gonna remember this day and be like what a bland day I just went and did the self tape but little did I know I was a star baby

a star was born dude I just love us sitting in silence with that delusion though and the song playing and both of us just like it was literally when you said that it like fucking killed me it literally felt like a 2000s romcom where like everything works out and the end so the friends are like this

they're like hey we're not so bad after all. And then the song blares off and we drive off into the sunset and spend $30 on a mediocre Mela Airwrap. The worst food ever I've ever eaten in my life. Sorry. I have something important to say. It's not actually important but i do have something that i thought about the other day that was like making me personally crack up

what is it um it's crazy how you used to be able to go to school and just lie and nobody could check you because we didn't have cell phones that you could just look it up in someone's face and like you could go to school and be like oh did you know that the moon is actually only like 300 feet away and you could literally walk there if they put out like an escalator? Wait, can you really? Yeah. I literally heard that on National Geographic last night. Wait, you can just walk to the moon with an escalator? Yeah.

They're building one right now. Wait, where? It'll probably be the launch pad is like Texas. So that's good for you when you go back to see your family. Drew, she's lying to you. You should know this. What? Why would he know know this it's literally the news came out last night the news came out last night at 11 p.m my mom let me stay up late so i got to see it so now you're calling her a liar the massage the misogyny jumped out i thought in this hypothetical we were in like

fourth grade so like you fucked up big time the misogyny leaped out um the fact that like you called a woman crazy is just crazy yeah you're fucking back when did i call and you're crazy i never saw you're going to hell well you're gonna burn wait what are you saying to him what are you saying more mean things he just covered his mouth and said she is crazy she is crazy get me out of here i did not say that i literally did not say that and that's on you guys because i'm taking that word and i'm i'm crazy about myself i'm reclaiming the word crazy and i'm crazy i'm crazy for love damn that's actually oh but i was thinking about that because, wait, let me literally look up. I think I was like high in the bathroom and I said it to my phone and I want to see what the phone caught.

You used to be able to just lie and say you know something because of the internet and people. Oh, because of the lack of internet and people couldn't Google it in your face because of the accessibility to Google. This sounds like one of my texts. People still didn't really trust Google also. So you could literally just lie and say, oh, no, that's on Wikipedia. Someone probably wrote that in and lied about it. Yeah. I trust Wikipedia with my heart.

Everything on Wikipedia is real to me. I don't trust Wikipedia. I've never like read Wikipedia. If I look something up and the first thing is a Wikipedia, I'm like, I guess I don't have to know. No, I dead ass have the Wikipedia app on my phone and I just go through it and like learn things. Like let's look at my history. Romanian bones, all worm.

Scientology and celebrities. Drag race. Insomniac games. List of most expensive films. I thought you said insomniac games list of most expensive what else do we got um oh what is that the love parade disaster um i won't get into it but it's really tragic and sad i don't understand how wikipedia works like it seems like all that shit is is true but anyone can change it right yeah you can go i could go in and edit everything but it like there are like moderators that like like it's hard to explain because like when i was like having everybody hack um my like school's wikipedia to

like change like the school colors to like pubes and like make me like a notable alumni and shit like it was really hard to get that stuff approved because there is someone who's like actively like approving and denying it but like sometimes it slips through the cracks and like there is like a system in place to like make sure there aren't just like blatant lies and misinformation being like spread through it but like for the most part like you just like make the information and i think you have to have like like credibility or sources like you have to build up a reputation yeah exactly as a nerd i literally just trust google like which i i feel like what what why does google give you like those answers so like if i does Google give you like those answers?

So like if I ask the basic question, like, oh, have we talked about how I was replaced in Fortnite because I went on a date? Dude, yes. Drew has been bringing up this date in all these ways that like I literally also to be fair, I asked him literally day of. I was like trying to like prod him and ask him about it. And it was very like, no, no, no no no like i don't want to talk about it but true keeps bringing it up in all these ways that are like literally the way no one fucking cares that i did this thing it's true what going on a date by yourself and then having to decompress for seven hours after yes you did mention that yeah okay i was just making sure that they know that i'm dating yeah

they know that you're a slut and you're dating around yeah i'm out there i'm like seeing people you're on the scene yeah i'm on the prowl um but i did see uh christian walker in public i know i'm jealous of that i would go up and ask him for a selfie that i was genuinely like thinking i was like i should go up and ask him for a photo just to have one because like he's one of those people that like i just think are like insane and like i he knows exactly what he's fucking doing he cannot convince me otherwise he says he doesn't no it's it's but it's like uh no i don't know i was gonna say it's like the hrh thing but like the difference between like i don't know for some reason there feels like a difference between hrh and like christian walker even though both of them walk the line of being like not even

walk the line like hrh has been like fully problematic and said like insane irrational fucked up things um and so has christian walker but something about christian walker feels like he knows what he's doing like yeah i think it's because well it's it's the starbucks videos like he does like the really high pitch like voice and the starbucks line and then he's like screaming about like some really yeah you're all fucking crazy really gnarly hi which is like the funniest shit ever like if it is ironic and like if he is doing it shrouded in like um layers of irony i literally think it's like genius comedy like i really do in my eyes i'm like that's a comedian and that's the difference is like christian walker i feel like you could definitely sit down with him and

have like a hilarious conversation hrh i feel like feel like if like I remember once I DM'd her because I wanted her to be on here. And then I really thought about it. First of all, she did not open that. Like she doesn't give a fuck about me. Second of all, I really thought about it and I was like, she would literally scare me. Like I feel like she's someone you would sit down with and then realize like, oh, this is actually like a person who's like who's like kind of losing it but with that being said she serves and like live laugh love her exactly um and i'm not about to get on here and like question her mental state because i literally don't know her

um and there's always there's always a space for you to come here literally literally but yeah i saw christian walker and i was like low-key starstruck like i don't get starstruck actually why am i lying i literally love celebrity i love celebrity um but like that was that was a moment where i was like i cannot go up to this person and say anything but i really badly wanted to um i probably would feel the same way i feel the same way i don't get starstruck but little like yeah little things like that it's it's because it's like a phenomenon it's like an enigma it's like oh my god like you really are like also it's just crazy like didn't you see him at like the melrose like uh tree uh flea market yeah i saw him in the plaza that is like insane like to just see him there like bitch what you're buying fruits right now like you're just like you he went to alfred's that's yeah okay shrouded yeah it was on my

there's no way it's not like an ironic sleigh it was on my date yeah wait he went to alfred's but he loves starbucks make it make sense i don't know what that means that's amazing okay i was gonna say um yeah i don't get starstruck but i have realized i still like i would like actually like fall over and keel over and die for any member of one direction oh yeah i like i tapped back in i always thought it was like this little like like you were like zhuzhing it up like um playing like joking a little bit but when i watched you watch that one direction documentary

and like relive your experiences i was like i this is not a joke it is like very real for and yet that she would die for one direction no it literally is you know okay so like it never left i understand when people have like i think like calling every relationship you have to like an either an internet figure or like a celebrity a parasocial figure is isn't doing it justice that like there is validity and finding like extreme comfort in figures outside of your personal life. relationships can become toxic but like for me basically what I'm trying to say is when people like talk to us about like or like any of our friends who do things and they're like oh my god like you have no idea how much what you do like how much it helps me I fully understand that because that's genuinely how I felt about One Direction which sounds stupid and I think like as I got older I realized it was like really fucked up and like honestly shrouded in sexism to be like, um, you just gave me a new word.

I'm going to say shrouded like every day. Is it the new belligerent? I don't know. I've been saying belligerent. It's kind of out. We'll see what the new one is. Belligerent is out. Shrouded isn't.

Yeah. So yeah, it was shrouded in sexism that like grown-ass men would be like it's so whack how obsessed you are with this thing but for so many people it was because it was like an emotional crutch and like it was such a disconnect from your real life because and girls just love like boys boys but yeah like it literally it genuinely one so funny to say but it literally did like save my life in a lot of ways like it genuinely was like this thing where I could anything happening in my life I could turn it off and like get on my computer and find all these people who we had this like common basis of what we liked and then through there we got to like build real friendships

and become like close-knit like i felt like i had like these friends that i couldn't really make in real life because of how shut off emotionally i was and online there was just that safe space that it was like you don't really know me and i don't really know you in real life so i feel like i could confide in you because it's like it will never like confront me like in real life. I love Stan culture so much. Yeah. And also it literally is like, it's so funny. I was saying to Josh, I was like, I don't think you understand.

Like this is the reason why I got like a platform. Like it literally is like, I always know what I wanted to do, like radio hosting or like comedy. And that's why I was like within the fandom, like one of the funny people, like that wasn't my whole thing. But like literally I never knew, I didn't even know twitter existed until one direction like i i found them on youtube through like that animation which i think i've said this before and then because of that i was like what is this i need to find more and then i went to twitter but yeah re-watching

that i was like oh my god also that was the first this is us is the first movie i ever went to go see with a friend in um in theaters like that was my first like going to the movies with my friend experience when i was like 13 um or no i think at that point that came out i was like 14 i just turned 14 and so that was my first time being out alone and like me and my friend anastasia like um went and saw it and we were literally the only two people in the theater other than like one other person because it was in the middle of miami and like nobody gave a fuck about one direction why was there never a one direction uh jess and bieber crossover um i think it's because it's like it's like with it's like where how there's like unannounced beef between certain brands

that's what i was i think that's kind of it but i mean in liam's interview which is what sparked all this and we don't really talk about so embarrassing on his part um but in that he talks about like oh how there was like i guess there was pseudo beef because with justin bieber yeah because liam had made like a comment on like a live stream or something like that before where they were like you're like just to be where he was like except i don't get like i don't go to jail or like something because that was when like the beat kind of started but in general it was just always like i think like a tension thing because of they're both stars and they both yeah it's both like a big thing um what i literally how did i just lose my train of thought i don't know um but yeah i think also it just would it would be too much i think like it

would be too much of those crossover also at the time when one direction was really popping off justin bieber was having his whole like um what's the purple journals moment which they were on completely opposite ends like Justin was tapping into R&B and Wonder if she was still like pop rock like slay um but yeah yeah I love staying culture I love staying on Twitter I think like there are healthy boundaries that need to be created but like at the same time, I know how much it did for me. Growing up and being able to find these communities online where I just fit in, actually, because in shit-ass middle-of-nowhere Texas, girl, I can't talk about this shit with real-life people because I'd actually be murdered. But what are you doing over there this reminded me of i'm trying to repurchase my one direction varsity you're buying shit online right now as

we speak you have an actual addiction okay listen this was literally crazy i had i've talked about this before i had this one direction varsity but they still sell them and like make them but it's on those fucking gross sites where you can like get a varsity made and it's like 110 but it's on like a random cotton like shitty varsity and i'm not about to spend 120 on it and someone's selling it in a size that would fit me i i don't know where mine went you know what's crazy is I think I sent it to Honduras. So there's like some little girl in Honduras who's like running around in a One Direction varsity jacket, and she probably has no idea what that means

because it's literally from 10 years ago, which is insane. The trend cycle is so vicious that Galaxy print leggings are coming back in two years yeah fully i would even maybe say less because remember how we were saying domo is gonna be a thing again i saw a domo video on my fucking timeline on tiktok last night that is fucking it freaked me out domo was so cute domo serve yeah um there was something galaxy leg tights are coming back i have a note oh the adidas superstars yeah those are coming back which is freaking me out i knew once i saw the vapor wave is coming back soon it's gonna make like the aesthetic that makes a lot of sense because to me because of like blade and shit yeah it's like that like

world like popping so heavily like it just makes sense for that to cut like tag along behind it it's just also that like nostalgia core like people love nostalgia like people i don't know do people like nostalgia i love nostalgia and like i've had conversations with people nostalgia people were like i fucking hate nostalgia i hate the feeling it's like the worst feeling ever and i was like okay am i like the weirdo for liking it no nostalgia literally i think runs like most trends because like almost everything is like a callback especially now because it's like we're you're in the what is it it's a 10-year cycle or is it a 20-year cycle yeah i think it's a 10-year cycle yeah we're like literally caught up in the 10- year cycle so now we get to see it um i also i think that like nostalgia just validates stuff because people are like oh

this is a proven thing if if you're coming up with a new trend or a new style that's scary but if you're like calling back to stuff from the past oh this song like this band it's a it's a proven validated thing because it's been around for long enough. Also, I feel within capitalism, it works so well because it literally is like you're selling people back their memories. It's like, oh, remember this thing you really used to like? It used to make me so happy. You should do it again. Literally me with my One Direction varsity.

But to be fair, I wear varsity jackets a lot. Y'all are about to see me pulling up. Should I just get a really nice One Direction varsity made? That's kind of embarrassing. No, don't yeah that's embarrassing do not do that spending 400 on like a leather like like literally you are 32 years old you cannot be wearing yeah true yes i can okay that's the thing is one direction merch is about to start coming back the way like in sync merch is like a thing i was thinking about that and i was looking at their merch and like they have a few pieces that i'm like i would fully like coming to an urban

outfitters pack son yeah um but i think all of them would have to sign off and like i don't think oh yeah that's the thing is they don't have to like no one like i i'm not gonna mention what i'm referencing directly i guess licensing it's not up to you it's up to the label yeah exactly like a lot of the shit that like musicians and boy bands like all of their merch like actors like all of it like the people don't even know half the time that it's being created it's just like written into their contract and they don't even realize it and then they're merchandising and then they get like a small small especially if it's like a major estate like something as big as one direction was yeah fully yeah justin justin bieber merch is like almost there where people are wearing it and it's almost like a vintage

yeah dude justin bieber like purple era like where he would always wear purple that merch is so good like i would yeah that shit's fire i want the fucking big prints of his face yeah um the the purpose tour merch i don't want it but i want to like see it because i remember like i was so jealous of everybody who had the purpose tour merch and i was like i want that so bad but then like eventually i like discovered streetwear instead i stole that hoodie from a fucker who was somehow still around do you remember do you know what i'm talking about i won't say his name oh yeah yeah i stole that hoodie from someone because they were being a dickhead um and it was rightfully deserved but that's how I had that hoodie and again another thing that I think is in Honduras because I was just like I don't

I have no use for this anymore and I just sold it I wonder how much a purpose hoodie goes for now because I mean now he has Drew which is fucked up because he stole my name he stole my name he saw me popping online Drew's your name? Yeah he saw me popping online and he was like actually

you know what i'm gonna steal this kid's entire identity and he did and it's fucked up and justin bieber you're an evil entity for that like i hope you burn and rot for stealing my name are you kidding me this fucking 2010 justin bieber merch see this is the era I'm talking about. Wait. You're who I'm thinking of. It's just cute. It's like giving JoJo Siwa. Oh, yeah. That's crazy.

Looks like that was made in PowerPoint. But Purpose merch is pretty cheap. I mean, it's not like selling for what I would have ever expected. There's like a hundred dollar hoodie there's a 45 hoodie um wait speaking of purpose merch um literally do you shut the toilet when you flush it no no neither do i neither do I. And I didn't, I never, I never knew it was gross. I just like, yeah, I was like, I don't shut the toilet when I flush it.

Like it just never crossed my mind to even shut it. And I was always curious. I was like, why do we have a top lid on it? I was like, maybe to keep like babies from drowning or like from animals from drinking the water. But no, like when you shit in that water and you flush it without shutting the top lid, it's literally spraying shit particles

and fecal matter into the air and it's landing all over your fucking toothbrush, your skincare, like all of it. And guess what? My skin is clear. My teeth are like kind of yellow and I need to go to the dentist, but that doesn't have to do with the shit.

There is definitely like three parts per million fecal matter to like everything we consume in that bathroom just because i don't simply i don't shut the lid when i flush yeah and then i noticed i was like everybody does it like even josh shuts the lid when he flushes no yeah he does kai do you shut the lid when you push yeah i don't give a fuck i will not and also i feel like it's dirtier to touch the shit ass lid. After I poop, I'll actually put my head into the bowl. But no. And get my nose really close to the water, and then I'll flush it. Why the fuck would you do that?

Why would you sit around eating shit? I'm from Northern California. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Culturally, yeah. That does make sense. Wow. I'm sorry for like a day thank

you for apologizing yeah you're fucking i'm no you don't no one should eat shit like what the fuck i think people should eat poop if they want i think it's cool if sometimes i eat poop if it's only sometimes no we cannot talk about eating shit on this podcast anymore like it's literally gotta stop and this is this should have just been over five minutes ago but somehow we always end up if you give yourself a little treat every day it's not a treat it's a habit so kai if you give yourself a little treat like twice a week of poop it's not no a habit i've been good i haven't had poop in five days no oh my fucking god you should

have never had poop in your life once holy shit y'all are fucking weird oh my god i'm weird i'm crazy also i can't cat shit like a normal person what no you can't be eating cat shit that's actually disgusting i guess they do make it into the perfect little almond joy yeah it's like pudding little give them give them a little milk give them a little milk yeah when it comes out of the thing give them a little milk and it liquefies a little bit and it's like a little patty once it hits the um cat litter and then you can like pick it up like oh it is like a nerd's rope kind of thing because it's like it's like a nerd's cluster yeah exactly i always thought a good prank is like pooping in a bowl and then putting it in someone's microwave.

Did kids at y'all's school have the like shit bombs? The fucking glass vials? No, it's like, ours was like plastic bags that you would hit and they would like expand and you had to run away and they would fucking burst open. Oh, I don't, I have no idea. Dude, you know what's so fucked up? The ice cream truck at my school sold them that's so literally the person who sold us ice cream also showed wait i need to find them

like i want to know i know no they're the exact same one like a it's like a foil packet that you like there's like something in it makes a chemical reaction that and we had the glass vials um the glass vials that you would break damn Damn, the fucking graphic design of this is too lit. Don't show the people. Let me see. Well, they could look it up. No, don't even tell them. No, that actually is sick. I almost fell. Dude, this is

fire. Oh, I haven't seen this in so long. The vial and then the liquid ass spray. Have I ever told the story about when we poured the liquid ass spray in my friend's hair and he freaked the fuck out yeah um but yeah we had these like little this kind of smells like off like um it will like void off mosquitoes i think it does yeah because oh it is like a spring candle yeah no but that's the cleaning line. I don't know who fucking cares. But, oh, kids would take that and throw it in the fucking air vents at school.

They would go in the bathroom, toss it in the air vent and run away. And then the whole floor would smell like fucking shit. So we would get evacuated. But it was just like really annoying. But yeah, the ice cream truck would literally sell it to the kids. I would make turds out of cliff bars and hide them in the corners of the hall. And I would record people's reactions to them like walking past like a human turd. Oh, I misread the fuck.

I misheard you so crazy. I thought you were making a joke that you would like shape your shit like a cliff bar. And I literally was like. As a prank, I guess. Yeah, it's like funny. I wouldn't show anybody guess yeah it's like funny i wouldn't show anybody but it's like a funny thing to do i used to make fake turds out of snickers it looks really really good looks very real it looks good like and then you eat them tasty and then you eat them okay riddle me this why do you have to order a side of fries now remember the

days when the fries would come with the burger i i have noticed that recently oh bitch wait me getting a girl's number what oh my god i got a girl i think you you might have already said this but i might no i have not said it because i wrote it down to say it but i got a girl's number what when ask him where and when where and when the prada store when i got my prada loafers oh the girl who helped me out she was like here take my number down so you can text me about like ordering other prada things but that was the store's number. That's like a support. That was a sales associate number. But a girl gave it to me. That's like a customer support thing.

It's like, oh, these are expensive. Have you guys talked? No, because I haven't needed to buy anything. Drew, when you call the number, is it a robot that answers? Yes, I did call it and it was an automated thing. It was like, this is prada at the galleria like we'll get back or the beverly center or whatever we'll get back to you when we can um but i thought her name was prada beverly's beverly you thought her

name was prada at the beverly center no beverly prada she did give Beverly vibes fuck what was I gonna say you weren't gonna say shit suck my balls it was on the tip of my tongue and it was gonna be suck my balls that's the thing that's the thing about you I thought you were gonna talk about the lady at Aesop who both of us fell in love with even though she was literally just buttering us up

to sell us stuff but I was literally sad and miserable and disgusting. I fall for that shit every time. Yeah, anybody who's nice to us and gives us attention, we literally just fall in love with. She was also beautiful. And she had a British accent. And she was talking about her friends visiting and going to the Roosevelt Hotel.

And I was like, can I see your boobs? If I buy this candle, can I see your boobs? I fall for that shit so often. Can I see your butt crack If I buy this candle, can I see your boobs? I fall for that shit so often. Can I see your butt crack? Just the tip of it. It's not even like I'm like falling in love with her. It's like she gives me maternal energy and I long for that. Yeah, and I want her to like carry me around and pat me on the back and give me a bath.

And burp me. Yeah, I want to be washed. And then touch my boobs. There's so much to unpack there but i i've noticed like if you're if you're at a store like right when you're buying something um and there's like a tipping situation drew don't smile at that like you're supposed to tip uh the person who's selling you will like compliment you right before the salesman. They'll say something nice about you.

This happens. They'll be like, oh, I really like that shirt. They'll laugh at what you're saying right before. And I think that's just a technique to be like, the very last interaction you had with them was good. So you're like, oh, I'll tip this person. And it works on me. I support it and I give everybody. Yeah, I give everyone tips. And I am such a fucking fucking little like turd actually it's a good i don't fucking

tip i don't tip like if you needed a fucking tip like like give me service that required you know what i'm saying like i don't need the fucking me unironically never tipped guys never tipped once in his life he doesn't know what that is he doesn't get it tip he's like wait why did your price go up by like five dollars mine was literally five dollars optional it is optional yeah no i tip um i tip i tip 35 i only tip well because i was like taught it at a young age because my mom is in the service industry so she would always like talk to me about it so i was like okay that's a thing you need to do but um i had like a funny conversation with a barista the other day also any yeah anybody who's nice to me i like overly tip them because i'm like i really like you it's my brain will be

like i'm gonna give you the 30 percent yeah because i'm like a fucking little monkey and they're like oh you're pretty and funny and i'm like thank you and then yeah i'm like i'll give you my finger has been hovering over the 18 and they like said something nice and i went 25 yeah no you know what is fucked up is when they do it 25 oh they flip the script they flip it because they want to trick you into doing it also one time like recently i accidentally uh when i went into a coffee shop um somebody behind the counter knew who i was and i had a short conversation with them and this if you're listening this was fully an accident but i couldn't go back on it because it would have been so embarrassing i went to go

it was like a five dollar coffee i went to go do the like a two dollar tip and i accidentally did 20 and then i just i had to commit to it but then i was like oh my god this is so fucking embarrassing because he's gonna look at that and be like did this bitch just tip me 20 dollars because i'm flirting because i like not even that in my head i was like oh my god he's gonna think i tipped in 20 to be like yeah i'm a good person like i'm so fucking good like oh this five dollar coffee yeah i'm gonna triple it like you know what have 15 extra dollars like on top of this fucking coffee and i was so fucking embarrassed and i ran out of that spot um but i had a conversation with a barista i went bought the coffee and before i tipped he like just started walking away and i was like hey you didn't turn the screen to let me tip you and he was like

oh yeah like i don't want to do that. My other job, like, I did that. And it made me feel funny. So, like, here we decided, like, they just opened up a coffee shop, I guess, like, solo. And they were like. I haven't been listening. You haven't been listening? I'm sorry.

Really? I was looking through, yeah. I know it's about a guy that doesn't tip. I don't know. He opened up a coffee shop. And he's like, oh, we're not going to turn the screen to tip. We're going to do, he was like, we, we're going to do cash only tips. So it's just like, oh, if someone really wants to, they can like go ahead and do that.

But like, we're not going to like ask them to do tips. Cause he was just like, oh, I felt funny. Like at my last job, like literally we would like turn the screen and kind of look away because it was just like, oh oh god like i had this feel so weird like asking you for a tip i was like i guess that is like there are certain there are only certain moments where i'm like no i'm way i'm literally like you should pressure every fucking customer into giving you a tip i don't give a fuck like i mean like personally it does make me uncomfortable but i'm like literally do that to everybody i don't care yeah i'm like because

i will still tip that's the thing is no matter how i feel about it like in any given situation even at the restaurants where it's like i go put my order and then i sit down and then i do all the things and then i do all the little things and i like do it myself but i did think that even if they're mean to me i still do it yeah same i'm like i should be like a pissy bitch but i'm like i'm sure you had a hard day like you know here's here's your fucking 15 18 percent like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i shouldn't be here why isn't there um a straight pride month i was thinking that why do the gays get a month but us straight christian trump supporters don't get a month. I think it's weird.

And the liberal agenda. It's funny when you say like us. Like who is us? Me and my alters. Oh, okay. We need straight pride. Yeah. Are you like. We need that month.

Stop saying we. You keep saying. Me and the community. You and the rest of the straight community? Yes. So what do straight people use Grindr for? Why are you bringing that up? Because Grindr is like a notoriously, like it's literally for like.

It's not on my phone. When we went through our screen time the other week, you had six hours of Grindr time. That's too much, Drew. I'm just saying that's way too much. Not you literally, not you literally you're not you being homophobic during pride month i'm not being homophobic that's just that's clearly like an addiction whoa an addiction to love to to seeking out love and friendships like you can be addicted to having sex like i mean i'm that's like i'm being addicted to being the coolest

fucking person alive that's literally no okay don't don't even get mad because that's kai being a fucking loser i'm jealous yeah he's being jealous because he's literally a virgin yes i have sex all the time i'm not yes i have now i'm about to start crying because it's borderline like habitual and like i need to do it and if i don't then like i told myself i wasn't gonna cry first of all you can be addicted to sex i'm not a virgin i've sex all the time literally constantly i told myself I wasn't going to cry. First of all, you can be addicted to sex. I'm not a virgin. I have sex all the time. Literally constantly. I told myself I wasn't going to cry.

I really did. He's crying. You're like, you're literally attacking him. You think you're helping, but you're just hurting. You know what? Fuck this. Good. I'm glad I made him cry because I try to help you all the time.

He's also fake crying. No, that's how he cries. It's really weird. Sometimes I'm like, oh my god, it's like there's a dog outside and I go and it's just you're in this room. Oh my god. Did you see that? That was really scary.

Guy rebooted. Wait, are your eyes brown? They're green. Do you actually have green eyes? Are they actually? No, I lied. They're brown. wait are your eyes brown they're green do you actually have green actually no i lied they're brown but there there is a little bit of green in there literally me in like third grade when i was so jealous of my siblings i was like no yeah my eyes in the light my eyes are like so like green if we go outside me when it was because

my eyes are so dark the trees were reflecting off of my eyeball hold on hold on also i was thinking about this other way and it's like how to be cracking up people literally find out they can sing and they don't stop they like just don't what did she say tiger what i live tiger the girl that the tiktok you sent me this morning oh wait i don't know i have to look at it dude i watch so many tiktoks at this point like when people reference them to me i'm like actually what the fuck and you doesn't like tiktok she just sends them to me i know and then when it's time to like share your screen and show what you've been liking my shit sucks balls oh yeah literally me discovering i can sing on camera for the first time all right but dude this literally had me cracking up because i was like oh my god

okay you're gonna oh in ya in ya but when i realized i can sing i can't believe i got it on video you're gonna you're gonna hear me right you're gonna hear me right damn what do you mean shut the fuck up no but actually literally imagine do you know how fucking annoyed i'd be if my little four-year-old started singing and had kind of a decent voice and then by the time they're seven they're like belting around the house and they're like i'm gonna do this for a living i'd fucking be so annoyed like shut up especially because people that can sing they'll like go to school and then sing under their breath stop no literally i was the kid humming on my camera is greasy as fuck i was the kid humming

under my breath i was the one doing the whole um like my dad and on the way to like one of my baseball games i like sang in the back seat and my dad jokingly was like drew you have like a really good voice and he didn't tell me it was a joke for like a week and i went around the house singing for literally all of those seven days and like belting the songs like like and i went around the house singing for literally all of those seven days and like belting the songs like like and i and then after like the seventh day my dad was like drew like i was joking and my sister my madeline she literally freaked out and died laughing like they were in on this i was literally bullied by my family and now y'all wonder why i don't have a good singing voice it's because i was traumatized into not singing it's trauma and every time you

make fun of me for being a bad singer you're making fun of my trauma literally james charles be like no but like seriously i'd be so annoyed if my like 10 year old is like on YouTube, like, hey, yeah. I'd be like, shut the fuck up. No, the thing is, you'd be like, okay, that's your service. No, I made fun of my little sister for the same thing. My little sister wanted to be a singer so bad. And I made fun of her so crazy. I was like, girl, you do not sound fucking good.

You showed me. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. There's a video. I'm going to see if I can find it. This is so mean to do to Sophia. But there's a video.

It's literally the funniest thing. I love you, Sophia. I love you, Sophia. But it is so funny. I think I should have told that. Dude, you thought you were fucking eating. Like, she literally thought like she was like, she felt like she was in a movie like she was in it like

she was singing like a solange song fuck um what fuck what song is it i i just have to find it like i'm gonna yeah What you say to me What you say to me Am I like conventionally attractive Or am I like weird attractive You're special Thank you Let me know Am I like

Like am I attractive to you Or am I ugly You're hella sexy to me But like unironically Like if you saw me down the street Would you you be like, oh, he's kinda cute? I think I would. I'd be like, oh, that's a cute man. Okay, thank you.

I needed that confidence boost. Because I was feeling ugly today. It's simply because of my hair. I need my hair cut really bad. Yeah. I need to find this more than anybody knows. What are you gonna do? Oh, is it a secret oh my god

you look insane not you serving sex you look like you just came home from a jog on a windy day on a windy humid day It looks like I just came You do look like you just like Stumbled out of the sexier burning man Yes Don't Why are you

You looked at me a little too long Yeah y'all are weird You look sexy I mean it is your mom There's that clip from the last episode Of you like The silent race the silent race yeah um we watched the tiktok of the girl saying like that why do um celebrities wave very condescendingly

and uh it literally cracked me up and me and india have just been like saying bye like this i literally love it that's all we do to each other today i'm like you know what after our dinner you're the best oh my no one is about to turn to you My love I can't end this episode without playing the... Oh, you know what it is? What's the Solange song that's like, What'd you say to me?

She's like, What'd you say to me? What'd you say to me? Like that. And what makes it funny is it's so breathy because my sister had headphones on she's like what'd you say to me don't touch my hair oh okay i'm almost there i'm going down my finsta but i just have a million posts when i hold this up it feels so passive aggressive.

No, I literally love it. It's cool. All right. I like it, but it really does like throw me off because I have absolutely no concept of like being able to see anything. Oh, I got, guys,

it's cured now, but I had bacterial vaginosis. I had it again. We're going to make sourdough bread in that oven. Throwback. Wait. Me. What do you know about me unironically loving the Pride Month advertisements and all of

the icons changing? What do you think about the Chipotle one? I haven't seen it. It says homo estas. No, it does not. I think it's real. I actually genuinely love that if that's true. I love that. It's a rainbow burrito. It says homo estas. I think it's real. I actually genuinely love that if that's true. I love that.

It's a rainbow burrito that says homo estas, but maybe it's a joke. Windstar Waco from Succession in their Pride month post. I love Pride. I literally love Pride so much. I do really enjoy the fact that in the Uber app, the line is rainbow and it glows. Yeah. No, I actually love it. And I'm like, yeah.

Yep. Yeah. But that's me as a straight man saying that. What's the straight flag? I was going to say, you say you like it like it's made for you. You say you like the pride. Does straight people have a flag? I cleaned this table this morning.

How is it like this this water right here yes i don't know but what was weird is that water was like cloudy before what you say to me dude i'm never gonna find it i hopefully i can find it and send it to kai and he can play it but i know i'm getting close i'm close i'm so close um okay let's see what else i can talk about myself on the floor high tech low life we're basically living um the worst imaginable life possible we have all these technologies oh is this me falling no it's me throwing myself on the floor and the people watching you we have a ring doorbell and

now um we see every single time our neighbors leave our house and it feels wrong it feels like like that should be illegal um okay i know i made a comment about 20 episodes saying that i don't like or understand impractical jokers i need to clear the air i am a mer bias and i watched a couple episodes and i literally love it they're just goofy old men being goofy and having fun and i love it and i can't wait to be old um actually no i lied oh me in that meeting i can't wait to be a girl do you remember me in that meeting we never talked about it what i don't even know if i'm allowed to say it but like um i was like when i i was just like in a manic like flow state and i was like well i'm allowed to say it but like um i was like when i i was just like in a manic like flow state and

i was like well i'm like killing myself when i turn 30 anyways in front of those dude i know and it literally like the thing is like our agents got it and laughed but like the new person on the call was like oh also i just like that it wasn't like that no that's not what a high note is true also i just scrolled through my whole fence and i couldn't find it but now i'm really paranoid like i've said this before but sometimes i feel like y'all could see through my phone and now i'm scared that y'all just saw my whole life high tech high tech low life okay that's the end of this episode the last like five minutes was just me trying to find this video and you just like floating into oblivion like talking.

Girl, I have fun. One thing about me is I'm going to have fun. Okay, let's do media. Mine is Valentine, Fiona Apple, Wild Horses by Prefab, Sprout, Down Under, Men at Work, mine is valentine fiona apple wild horses by prefab sprout down under men at work and one day by nobu kazu takamura and love song by biba doobie and then visually i haven't seen nothing i haven't seen nothing nothing yet i've seen nothing i haven't read nothing. I ain't done nothing. First song's 180 decibel underscore 130, I'm assuming BPM,

by AFX Twin on Syro, S-Y-R-O. That's a good album. Let's go to the end of this. No, no, no. I added it to this playlist. I ignored it. Oh, I have so many private playlists on Spotify now. I've been gatekeeping my music.

We got White Sheep in Small Light by Nobukazu Takamori. And then also... We both pronounce his name so differently. Oh, wait. Did you say a song from... Yeah, I said One Day. Oh, the Beep Loops? oh the beep loops literally love that song that is my favorite ambient song of all time very bold of me to say um after all by 703863 seven um and then um julian showed me this song tlc um by turnstile in the outro um i saw it on

this story i thought it was really cool um and i saw top gun i don't know did i talk about that on the podcast i don't think so i saw top gun and it was fucking awesome. It was so good. I literally couldn't believe it. It was a masterpiece. They did the damn thing and that's all. Go watch Top Gun. Go watch Your Mom is Ugly and Stupid. Oh my God.

Also, what's his face? Yeah, mom. I know you heard that. Text me.. I'm kidding. Text me mom. Because we'll get this bitch together. We'll get her. Um, no, but what's his name? Tom Reynolds? No, the Tom Cruise. He looks good for being like 800 years old someone said he had a facelift oops oops and we're gonna out women for having facial uh surgery we got to do it for men he had a facelift and you can see are people still trying to hide like getting plastic surgery yes fully go who fucking cares like own that shit if you're gonna do it own it own. Own it by Drake. I got a bunch of work done. Yeah, it's bad, but you know. He got a penis enlarged, actually a penis shrinking surgery

because he's so well endowed. When he would get a B word, he would pass out. Boner? You can say boner. When he would get a boner, he would pass out because the blood from his brain would rush to his it happened a couple times while I was driving

so it was dangerous so it was an elective surgery turned needed so the insurance covered it exactly yeah and it was such a long surgery because it's really big it cost like $2 million.

17 hours. Wait, wait, wait. This is big news. Thanks to you guys. It literally is because of this podcast. Now I can have it. I have health insurance. Yes.

Yes, you got health insurance. I had to sign papers to get it turned over. So it's my doing. No, literally. It is y'all's doing. It's actually so advanced. And then I also... Now I can go get my pussy swabbed and it won't be $2,000. I was thinking maybe I...

Kai, it's a vagina that sprays discharge. I was thinking I might get on the health insurance to just do it. But I was like, no, I get health insurance. So I'm 26 through my parents. Yeah, do that. If I got health insurance through my parents, I would fully do that. What you say to me? What you say to me?

I'm going to find it and we'll outro with that. We'll outro with Sophia. We'll have Kai mix it into a song. I'm going to make it a drum and bass song. Merch coming soon. Oh. Oh. You naughty little boy.

You're going to get a big spanking. Merch coming soon. Maybe we tease it. Not now. Nah. Not now, but I mean like on the weeks leading up. Maybe we just like have it pulled over. Not me being a tease.

All right. Fold it over. Not me being a tease. All right. Bye guys.