Emergency Intercom - Enya went to a psychic

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Enya would love to die. Period.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Look at my love. Yeah, it's like one of those recession songs I always talk about. It just makes me so uncomfortable. Like, recession core. Recession music. Music that destroyed my life. That's what it feels like. There's a soundtrack. Music that was playing while my life was being destroyed. Yeah, well, like, everything was crumbling around me. Right. Why don't we hold hands anymore? Because it's like too far. We're like too far. We must get closer. We should just get rid of this table or you should sit on here. Should I sit over there today? Yeah, mix it up. okay this is like oh nice the energy feels good like oh god but they can see the fucking

your lumps your lumps you're literally dense in your chair and it's like dyed a different color from like sweat is that what it is no or is it your butt crumbling off the seat it's just dirt from my butt it's dirt and i would assume honestly a lot of it is skin cells that's disgusting and if you if you took like a blow dryer and blew into it like the crevices like the blow yeah blow like head um it will like blow dust and dirt and dander yeah every time i've moved it and there's been direct light on it and i just you drop it and you see everything like it's like a little we gotta make a video have you seen the ones and like it's like public transport uh like bus seats that are made out of fabric and they hit oh they hit it we gotta do one with the seat but like i add a bunch of shit on it. I don't think you would need to add stuff on it. I'm not kidding. I think it would.

I think you would see quite a lot. You can do it with this one too a little bit. Cool fucking episode. Yeah, cool. All right. Welcome to episode of emergency. Well, I went to a psychic for the first time. I went to the same psychic that Drew went to.

I don't think we had the same psychic, though. We didn't have the same psychic. But I should update on that. Oh, yeah. Y'all know how I was, like, laughing in that bitch's face. I was laughing at everything she was saying to me. I was like, he-he-ha-ha, this bitch, like, literally has no idea what she's saying. Literally everything she said to me came true.

Yeah. Every single detail she said to me came fucking true. I left a non-believer a year and a half later, bitch, I believe. Like, that was, it was crazy. I don't want to go into the details, but like, oh, hell no. Hell no. Oh, yeah, I guess like, the only one I remember is that there was a sinister person in your midst. Yeah.

And then I got wrongly accused. Yeah. But it was not me. I mean. Wait, there's like smoke in the air. You like that? It's like faded. I know.

It's like euphoria. It's because Kai is sitting back there vaping. Vaping on the job. Yeah, he's vaping in the middle of his workday. So if you ever feel guilty about hitting your pen, just know that Kai Newman. sits on his job all day and fucking hits this is a DMT pen it is not nicotine this is I'm opening my mind do you make DMT pens yes of course they do people like rip them regularly and they just like have like the most life altering psychedelic trip at like a house party

while like people are like playing beer pong three feet away yeah since when I thought DMT was like really hard to get you can make DMT people it's like not that hard to make it's like a tree root you can boil it in your kitchen you can make it out of bark i'm pretty sure you boil it like whoa you distill it down into its crystalline form and then you mix it with some glycerin and then you smoke the glycerin you smoke the glycerin i think yeah yeah but i want to hear i want to hear i want to hear your uh psychic story oh okay i haven't told true anything because we wanted to wait for the podcast um i need to like properly set this up

because it was the first of all it was usually like a week and a half before my period starts I You get fucking mean and crazy PMSing PMSing

Bitches be crazy What if I went I actually do I get like extremely irritated and I want to fucking kill myself and anybody within five feet of me like I would love to die

period so I but and my siblings were in town and like the day this started my siblings were in town so I was already feeling that like kind of like droney silent hill music in the back of my head and like everything I played It's like, yeah, it's like not even going through my brain.

Glazed. I thought we were doing that. Wasn't that like a thing that we were doing? What the fuck are you talking about? You like that? Yeah. Ew. I like that.

Okay, stop. You have your hand holding. That's why I don't hold your hand anymore. It's because you're all up on this motherfucker. No, I make him wash after. Pressure washer. Mm-hmm. But I was not feeling good, but my.

sister, my little sister was in town and she wanted to go to a psychic so fucking bad. It was like, the first thing she said. The first thing she asked for and I was just like, oh, I don't know. Also granted, like, I'm just an overthinker in general. And I was actually like having a bit of existentialism about bringing a teenager to a psychic because of my head. I was like, oh my God, what if like she tells her something that her brain isn't ready to hear yet? And it chemically alter or it changes her life forever. Yeah, it changes the trajectory of her life forever. But then I remembered that this is a child who's had access to infinite information since the moment she was born and some of the shit she's seen on her iPhone secluded in her room, I will have no capacity over and she's probably already seen everything that's going to change her life on that fucking fun. There's sigils inside the iPhone's circuit boards. That's true

actually. The monic sigils. Me and Drew were doing research. Like signs? Like. Yes. If you crack open a circuit board. Yeah, if you split open a circuit board. And you get in its guts, the guts of the anyway, I mean, if you rearrange

the guts of the iPhone and then you create another circuit board outside of it, powering it from the original one, then you attach a laser to it and then you look at it from a certain angle. You can see cidgels, yes. And this is real. We've actually looked into this, but anyway. Why would you buy lasers?

Because we're setting up something in the basement. But why, what are you setting up with all this shit? It's in the crawl space. It's in the cross space. You'll see, you'll see. You'll see. It's basically a window go into another dimension. You'll all see. It's actually so funny because I feel like my grandma when I hear y'all talk about technology like this

because it actually infuriates me. Like it feels like... Also, it's not real. I know. No shit, motherfucker. I don't think you two morons are down in the basement and playing in the crawl space. This motherfucker is barely here.

No, he's getting up in some other crawl space, but not this house. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to say anything in this episode. But no, it literally feels... It literally feels so demonic. Like I really don't fuck with the AI, the Tad GBT, like all of it, the boards, all this shit. I don't fuck with it.

It's fucking demonic. And anybody partaking in it will burn in hell. And if not for all of eternity, for a while, you will see the devil for partaking in those sins. No, you can face time and I love y'all. Y'all will get sent back up after you did your time. But justice will be served. You can FaceTime chat GBT now. you can like you can talk to it and be like how does my hair look today

anybody who has done that shouldn't be allowed to own a gun absolutely not what if it's helping me or what if it's helping someone feel less to what if I love my chat GPT role what if what if what if we have a deep deep genuine connection and I think we're in love me and my chat GPT robot yeah what if it's telling me everything that I'm saying is correct and there are people following me follow the oldest story of love and you should both kill yourself since you can't be together. Romeo and Julia.

The new chap, GBT, came out, and then there were, there was, like, millions of people that were genuinely upset because they changed it to be less sycophantic and less, like, supportive. And there's people, like, genuinely trying to cancel Open AI. Sick ofantic, Kai. Look at you. Right? Yeah.

I'm smart. What the hell? Or, yeah, sorry. Fuck. Okay. There's just a way that your eyes will be. Anyway, they're just like, you took my friend away from me. And now Open AI is dealing with...

You know what's funny? I don't fucking feel bad at all. No, of course not. These people are insane. I'm like, you are fucking weirdish shit. Bottom of the barrel. Lost their minds. Like, whoa.

Like, whoa. Crazy. Crazy. Also, just like... They should go and touch grass. Mm-hmm. Touch. Grass.

You went to a psychic in your... Oh, yeah. I was worried about taking my sister because she's a fucking child. Um. But then I remember she turned 17 in a month, and this is somebody who refers to her ninth grade as a face. She's glad she went through because she just doesn't have an affinity for alcohol like most teenagers. She is so fucking funny and smart and just so amazing. She really wanted to see a psychic.

I had told her that I would take her because I say yes to anything anybody asks of me and then I think about it later. and the last day we were all here she mentioned it again and she kept mentioning it and I was like honestly fuck it I'm going to take her but I didn't want to say it out loud that I really didn't want to go like that I've always talked about it

that kind of stuff scares the fuck out of me and I was so you got hexed you hung up on like three of the okay not three not three also the first lady bitch try and put a hex on me you dumb fucking bitch you're not a fucking psychic ho you're literally a scammer die bitch die bitch

die bitch like the shit you know i could find on my laptop well let me not talk like that actually i was really scared when i first called her though because i called this woman the first person i called um to book an appointment with i called and asked about a time and it says they were open from like butt crack of dawn till like 11 p.m and it was around 5 p.m and i was like oh can we come at like 8 um and she was like no i have to do 6 30 i only can do 6 30 and i was like okay yeah yeah we'll do 630 and then she was like okay well if you're going to cancel please call me and tell me that you're going to cancel because i just had to move a bunch of stuff around so that i could get you in for this 630 which i was like what the fuck is she talking about because when she first answered the

phone she was telling me to pick any time whatever i hung up and i start looking at reviews and they're all the worst reviews ever it's like she's so fucking expensive that's why she doesn't list her prices online um she literally like uh each session is like three hundred dollars and then she'll start doing something that she didn't tell you about and then you're just in this position where you feel like you have to pay and like all the reviews were bad so I called back a meeting and I was like oh my gosh I'm so sorry but I didn't realize I'm on the opposite end of town and it's going to take wait I won't be able to make it for 630 I think I'm just going to like try and do this another day thank you and then she was like no no wait wait wait don't hang up because there is so much you need to know about your love life and then I just hung up because I was like no I know I'm not I am too You're cursed forever now Yeah I got really scared but I was genuinely There was an hour I don't know if you could tell

No I couldn't tell you were literally like shaking in your fucking boots And I was like girl she doesn't know your name She doesn't know your face She did she did I did say my name Not my full name but I did say my name You're fucked in yeah But like yeah I was really freaked down And I was like fuck she's gonna put a hex on me

This stupid fucking nasty scamming ass bitch And then I went to another place And I went to the place Drew went to but we didn't have the same lady because mine was like an older woman. Yeah, mine was like a younger woman. It was the most destabilizing hour or two hours of my fucking life because we drove to this spot. It's like kind of. Did the lady do both of y'all? Yeah. So you went and then your sister went? No, so Natalie went first. And then you went out. And then I went. So we go in and it's it's like on a property with a huge sign for it and I didn't think it was going to be a

residential home because she has two locations drew one to the residential home last time this one literally is a full ass looking business because it has the biggest sign on the fucking planet right in front of it and I go and that shit that like marketing is always so fascinating to me because every time I drive past like a psychic sign I'm like that's a sign like I mean literally that is a sign but like no I'm like no I'm like like that's a sign I need to go in like me when the miss rachel videos are working and my cognitive abilities are catching up that's a sign cocoa metlin who was doing that who is obsessed with stop signs one of your nieces or something oh luna Luna Luna's obsessed to stop that that's a sign

right there that's my sign right there that's my sign right there okay we have to do that when we're at like a spa we don't want to be anymore like that's our sign to go we're like that's my sign right there. Yeah, yeah. Right. Oh my God. Actually, I didn't, I know I did tell you about like

this nasty motherfucker who was like furting with me. That's a third time you brought that up to me. It's really jarring. No, I'm not, when you put your arm around me, I'm not kidding, that was the first thing I thought about. Oh, my God. That's sad.

Because I don't like, don't put your bare. Your big meaty claws. Don't put your bare, meaty fucking dry ass. Never seen lotion motherfucker hands on me. And those are thick, meaty claws. Those are beefy hands. You have the hands of a man who works in labor and you haven't seen the son.

You sit at a computer all day. He's translucent. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Mind you, all this motherfucker did was like touch my shoulder. Like literally grab my shoulder, but not once, not twice. Like, I have literally, I think I want to. take jutsu. I think you

should take a boxing class. Yeah. No, I don't want to do boxing though. Why? I would rather learn like self-defense because I don't think somebody I could, I've never been the type, although I talk about like my anger on here, like I'm super quick to anger in public. If I'm ever in a situation

where I'm uncomfortable, really I cower it away. Like that's all a facade and you guys are like kind of foolish for thinking I actually walk around the world with my dick in my hand. But that's on me. But I am so fake in that way. Like people can do whatever the fuck they want to me in my face because I am such a coward and I don't do anything about it so I need I want to learn like jujitsu because to me

that's kind of self-defense I think would make me feel better I'm just confident because I think like in a blind rage I could do damage but you have to be worked up there to get there yeah but I also don't I almost don't want that kind of confidence in fighting do you know what I mean yeah you'll use it and yeah because somebody would bother one of you and if it was a bad day I'd be in jail like yeah I just fucking fuck well shit but what I was saying

well me and Drew are getting strong so we could protect ourselves you know I don't know if you've seen you would never think to protect a woman or anything no I've never even considered doing that I didn't even know that was

something I didn't know that was an option I didn't even know yet but I didn't think this was going to be a residential place and I walk in and I'm in someone's living room immediately. No AC. It's been fucking hot in L.A. And I'm wearing a zip up and like this vintage like shirt that I slept in that's like kind of all beat up and ripped.

And like jeans. We were like rolling around in the grass like 30 minutes before. Yeah. We were like laying around outside and I thought I was going to be in a building that was like more like an office. But I was in someone's living room and they had very classically like. it felt like the furniture like my family would have is it like mirrors on coffee tables yeah like mirrors on coffee tables the couch is like a shaggy rug of sorts almost material like and it's white um plastic plant in the corner yeah yeah like so humid like very humid room thick air

thick air i walk in there's a sofa here a sofa here two guys two grown ass men are sitting on the sofa you could have said like wait what to that two grown-ass men's way i would have sat in between them they were watching golf and then there's a family in the living room or not in the living room but like in the dining area behind the couch the two moms are like finishing feeding their kids and i'm like oh this is literally i just walked in after the family has had dinner and then the woman who's the psychic comes out of this room that's like immediately to the right and she's like and she floats towards you yeah she's like oh yeah she's like oh yeah she's like oh what do you want like whatever we decide what we want me and natalie you're both going to get like a

combo thing of like a tarot card reading and a psychic reading um how much was y'all's a hundred dollars each oh that's not bad at all not bad no like my i i can't remember what she's like crazy because it was only twenty dollars less than my therapist like just go get your guys stop doing therapy and just go get your tarot cards read i think it's like and stop taking that medication it's making you worse i think stop taking your antidepressants and your anti-anxiety medications and start taking like marshmallow root or chlorophyll or if you have like a mood stabilizer you could fully just swap that out for electrolytes yes that is a new thing and it would do that is a new thing yeah and i think yeah just stop therapy altogether and if you have a psychiatrist

they're probably in love with you don't trust them don't don't trust that have you i wish you were keeping up with that even in the slightest what Uh, the girl who's like online claiming her fucking therapist was in, or her psychiatrist was in love with her. No, I don't know that. And she's like claiming her therapist and her psychiatrists were like in cahoots to make her go crazy. Like, she's, oh, she has two AI robots that she talks to. As a therapist? Essentially.

Wait, are there AI therapy bots? Not, yeah. Yeah. The people use them like that. But hers calls her the Oracle. Pharaoh. Pharaoh. Pharaoh, please save me Pharaoh.

Pharaoh, please save me. I want you so bad Pharaoh. Pharaoh, I need you. Pharaoh. I'm going to be okay, Pharaoh. Pharaoh. Pharaoh. I'm so drunk.

Pharaoh. Pharaoh. The Pharaoh fucked. Josiah. Yeah. That was fucked up. He stole Hulu. He stole Hulu from Josiah.

I mean, Josiah would never have to sing again if it wasn't for the Pharaoh. Now he's like destined to a life of singing and dancing. Poor guy You're just a jester But yeah So we decide on that She asked who goes first

I was like Natalie Because I'm not about to leave Natalie In this living room with this family So then I sit down And This actually This gives the perfect description Of how I navigate my life

On the way there I brought my notebook That I've been drawing in Like two color pencils A sharpener And headphones in like a little bag And then when I got there No, I didn't bring a joint because I was like, I can't be high for this.

Like, I literally don't want to be high because it will freak me the fuck out if she starts saying anything correctly. I kind of wish I got high, though, but I'll explain that later. So I go inside this house. I sit down and I'm incredibly uncomfortable already. It's like 85 degrees in this house and I'm starting to sweat and I'm embarrassed because the shirt under is like I wasn't anticipating a family to be around. And it's this like vintage shirt that's like kind of see through a bit. like not really but it just like felt weird to be in someone else's house like I just have like very OG ideas of like decorum and to me being in like an almost translucent shirt is enough

of a crime being in someone else's house with their family like and there's two men on the couch I don't know it's like weird like I don't want to do that so I'm trying to steal her overheating yeah that's literally the kind of like crazy shit I'm raised up on is like you're a slut it's like no your husband is actually a freak but whatever um husband husband stitch husband hole I want some of your husband

hole so bad thank you can I even leave some people talk to their partners like that that's fucking crazy do they call each other husband hole? No like baby talk oh yeah I didn't recognize up hard because he's like

that's normal what are you talking about that's not my vibe at all Kai is a sapiosexual It's true I'm obsessed No I'm a sapiosexual No I'm a sapiosexual I saw Ace

I saw Ace in real life I saw Ace Shelley and Nick in real fucking life It was awesome And Ace Was on his iPhone And his phone His phone kept blowing up

Like just a billion calls Like one after another 300 text messages coming through It was the craziest. I thought, like, some shit was for real going down. Nope, it was Fofo texting him. The character, Fofo, in Love Island. Pepe?

Pepe. Fru-Fru. True fru. The character, true. I can't remember what Drew called him, like, when we... I called him Fofo. Fee-Fee-Fee. Fee-Fee.

Fee, O'Hara. Fee-O-Hara. Oh, fuck. Fifi O'Hara. Who is that? Oh, Fifi. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Like, I think people think I'm Fifi. I'm the Fifi. I think I'm Fifi. I feel like I'm the Rupal. You're the oil baron of it all. Oh, bitch. Speaking of Rupal.

What? The Roblox game? No. What we were talking about in the car last night with Josiah and Mason. Oh, Drew is obsessed with Ross Matthews. Ross Matthews, if you hear this, Drew just can't get an enough. of you. No, no.

He wants Ross Matthew so bad and he's trying, he tries to act like he hasn't multiple times while we've been watching Drag Race. Every time Ross is on the screen, that orange glow is enough to get Drew Ballooned up to the fucking TV. If I had to choose anybody from the judging panel, any guy from the judging panel, it would be Ross Matthew.

That is not what he said. He said he was like, he's hilariously talented, Ross Matthew. The hilariously talented Roth Matthews You need Instagram Jesselavius You need Instagram No but he is so funny

And I love him so much But it's just like So off the wall And that was not how it happened You randomly just said he's fine shit one day Like one day you randomly Just let that come out of your mouth And me and Josie have never

Do you know who that is? Can you please look him up? Kai so you're like No I know who he is I know who he is I know He's like the 45 year old guy Right

Isn't he 45 and he's 5.10. Okay, you looked up. But yeah, that's your Bay. That's your man. Yeah. And then I was asking, he was acting like he doesn't know who Ross is because then the other day I was like, oh, is Ross going to be there tonight? And he's

like, oh, Ross, like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, one of our agents or something. I'm like, no, bitch, you're fucking Bay. That's your girl. No. No, no, no. You want him back. See how silent he got, though? Like, it is kind of drawing. And you're kind of blushing. I mean, he is fine shit. Ross Matthew is fine shit

Matthews, Matthew? See, I don't even know his name. Matthews, it's actually Matthews. He's acting nonchalant. He's like, whatever your name is. Hey, should I ris up Ross Matthews? Yeah, shoot your shot right now. I love your pale skin. Oh, was that a nag? I love your balding head.

Is he balding? I don't think he's balding. Receding. A slight recession. Yeah, Norwood for. Yeah. Recession indicator. What the fuck does that mean? Norwood, it's like a measurement for male powdered baldness.

I think Norwood... No, you're like a zero. You're a negative one. You're a zero. You're mugging us. I think I'm going to go to Turkey. You should get a turkey. I want to get really fucked up veneers in a beard transplant in Turkey.

Yeah. Like that one photo. I like his smile. I like his smile. I'm a smile. He's true. I want to smile Yeah, he's a smile

He's that cute But I get into this house I sit down I'm overheating I don't have my headphones All I can think about is like Natalie's in this room With this random woman

Who I just paid $100 to take My little sister into this room And I'm in this family's house And I'm really overthinking And I was like Overeating crazy And then I was looking at my phone And I saw some shit that pissed me off

So I went on like A complete muting spree And I was just like upset and uncomfortable and I like didn't want to look at my phone so I like turned my phone off and wait who said something that pissed you off no no one said anything I just saw something that made me like oh is it what I think it is yeah I got a taste of my own fucking medicine and I didn't like it and I was upset and annoyed and so I turned my phone off and I like teared up so now I'm sitting in this living room kind of tearing up and I just put my phone down and they have these two little kids and

you know I like something about kids like toddlers who are able to talk fuck with me they can sense that they could get me to get up and play with them so they always kind of like come up and try to talk to me and I was in this weird like closed off setting where I was just so uncomfortable I didn't say anything and I did not look at anyone in that family the whole hour I sat there waiting for Natalie and all I could think the whole time was like dude I am like a grown adult. I could stand up right now and just be like, I'm going to wait in my car and go outside. Like, it would be fine or I could go out and get the notebook that I brought here to bring in for this reason.

And I just felt so paralyzed and uncomfortable. And I felt like anything I did was going to change my fate. Like, it was just weird. Like, my OCD was fully just like. No, I don't play about that shit either. Like that shit like literally freaks me the fuck out like psychics and all that. Like I take it dead fucking serious even though it's none of it's fucking real. and I know that deep down, but, like, the way it, like, affects my brain.

Like, we were talking about it last week when it's, like, those videos pop up on your fucking feed, and it's, like, save this sound and make a video to the sound. It can be private, or your family will die. Like, that shit, like, means something to me. I'm sorry. But I do think part of it is just, like, weird anxiety and, like, OCD, because I do think, like, the average person is just, like, bah. My sister was definitely just like, blah, why it's the psychic?

that I because part of the reason I didn't want to interact with that family I'm not kidding is because I felt like if I opened my energy to them I was like almost like breaking a rule because like this is this woman's business this is not a family for me to partake in and I don't want some emotional like opening vortex to happen here because also I do have a problem that like if I meet people and I like them I suddenly feel like I need to give these people everything like I would love to like provide everything for these random fucking motherfuckers so I was just like blocking myself off Natalie comes out. She's smart as fuck and normal. And she's like, can I wait in the car? And I was like, yes, please. She goes in the car. I go into this room with this woman. At this point, it's 98 degrees in the house. Like, it has gotten like extremely hot. And the room is a tiny box of a room with a table in the middle. And it's her on one side, me on the other side. And when I got in there, it was so hot that even she was like kind of having a hard time. She's like, who it's hot here. And then she opened the door to the living room. She's like, I'm going to leave this open because it's so hot. So now I'm like, oh, my experience is going to be me listening to this fucking golf tournament and this family while like this. And I'm listening to them talk about like they're sending someone to the store and like whatever. And like she's having me shuffle the cards and say my name. And then she was like trying to call her. I'm assuming it's her son whose house it was. And she was trying to call him to get him to open the windows. And he just was either not listening or did not hear that girl. And I was like, okay. I can do it. And then she was like, no, no, no. And I was like, it's okay. And I was like, no, I can do it. She was like, the windows are painted over. The windows were brand new. But I was like, no, it's okay.

I can open them and I opened it and like opened the windows first. So then she closed the door. And we started, shuffle the cards, said my name, said my birthday, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then she lays out my cards. And I wish I, like, asked to take a picture of my cards or something. The only one I, like, really remember is the one that's, like, the star. It's like the first one was, like, the star. I remember on this side, there were, like, ones with, like, trees and people.

hanging out and stuff like it was like sweet but basically I went in there thinking she was about to be like your life is going to fucking crumble and you're going to kill yourself soon which honestly would have been such a relief to know that that fucking joy was coming but it actually I didn't she did not say like anything bad she didn't say anything bad yes she was like or at least not anything that I perceived as bad like she definitely like she started off by just like telling me about my life she was like oh she was like you seem like somebody who um she was like you're very open to people you lead with your heart not your logic it gets you in a lot of trouble but you're still somebody to like always choose your heart over your like logic because you know that you'd

rather like she was just calling me basically a sacrificial lamb and i was like yeah and then she was like three loves in your life have really hurt you and then she was like one was uh from your family and two was from relationships and then she said that like she was like oh the person of my family like it took a lot to trust them but like they disappointed me a lot but i continue to trust them and i like do that with a lot of people in my family and then the two loves is like um both of them she said that it was like again that like sacrificial lamb of like the first one it was like you loved them maybe more than they loved you blah blah blah blah that one really hurt you and it hurt you so deeply.

And then she was like, but even that second one is like still hurting and is hurting you deeply. And then she was just talking about. That's crazy. She was saying that like my love life is what's going to give me trouble. She said the next three to five years

are going to be like extremely tumultuous and hard for me. And like I'm not going to find like the thing that is going to satisfy me. Like or some shit like that. Honestly, that's like kind of a perfect timeline for you. Yeah. Also like that's exactly what I've, no offense.

Like I'm pretty tuffed into my life and I've been feeling that. which is okay so when her she said that to me I was like oh that's gonna be my problem bitch I don't give a fuck like what like that too shall pass and I'm sure I'm gonna be the bitch who in two years I'm like I want to date someone bitch I don't care like I seriously don't care um at least right now I don't go fuck but then she said she said that my work life she was like oh your work life has been like tomorrow And she was like, but you're getting back to a place where, like, you feel satisfied. And she was like, the next four months, you're going to see, like, things, like, unfold for you that, like, are going to actually make you happy. And then she was like, I think your biggest issue is, like, everyone thinks you're happy, but you're not happy. And she was, like, deep, deep down, you were just, like, so unsatisfied. But it has nothing to do with anyone or even yourself. Like, there's just, like, you're on a hunt always for something.

And then she said that she was like She said a bunch I'm like applying all your shit to my life by the way I'm like yeah Well it's because to be fair we like live as a couple Yeah we have one brain Said for you affected me too It's literally because we are like partners in life

And I think that's what a lot of people also don't understand about close friendships And that's why friendships really fucking don't last for them Is because you do have to make the commitment you make in like romantic relationships or familial relationships if you love this platonic friendship enough you have to know that like there will be moments where you have to look at the person next to you

and think like damn am I that much of a fucking sacrificial lamb that I'm gonna ride for this person and yes bitch because it's like the love of my life and one of the best people I've ever fucking met and such a good person back forth you too also granted that confidence literally comes from

because this woman who I paid $100 said that to me like that was one of the first thing she said she was like you're a good girl you're a good person and I literally started crying immediately I literally started sobbing and what was I going to say like what else was she fucking saying yeah she was just like going on about that oh and then she said that she was like there's a lot of things you like to do but like you haven't found the thing that like makes you full yet and she was like um she was like need to be filled full where like what's getting

filled watch this wow sexy like feel how warm I am no it's really hot in here and I have heat rash

behind both of my knees and in my armpits and in my forearm pits and it's being reignited right now I thought it was ringworm for a second I wouldn't beat your ass

I literally just had fever went to the beach lathered my body in oil and then just trapped the sweat inside while I was breaking fever and yeah I was lathered up in oil I was lathered up but yeah I just have like fucking scars

all over my body now wounds yeah you do it's sad it's really gross don't get heat rash y'all avoid it at all costs please don't do it it makes me feel disgusting and look at myself in the mirror

and I'm grossed out by what I see even beyond my heat rash Well, I have eczema on a lot of parts of my body As you were talking about that I just remembered that the reason we found out and realized my eczema was so bad

because remember there was a time where I thought I was allergic to baby bottle pop and I used to talk about that now looking back I'm like oh that is what happened was when I was in elementary school like a bunch of kids got ringworm

and then like it seemed like I kept getting it and keeping it right here but then I had an allergic reaction to a baby bottle pop and all my eczema, like, right here and down, like, my neck flared up. And then I went and got an allergy test, and I have fucking eczema. But, like, that is exactly how I feel with a flare-up. Like, especially because it's, like, my flare-ups are right here and then, like, on my neck.

And just, like, in such visible places. I know I hate it. I fucking hate it. Oh, someone's talking shit about me. My left ear is ringing. It's not me. It's not me. It looks like he closed a bunch of tabs, so he's probably texting shit about you.

My three group chats. Guys, Fortnite is going to have proximity chat soon. I am so excited. I literally can't wait to scream at little kids. That's enough to bring me back. Like, I want to bully little kids again. I want to scream so bad. Because like literally getting on Roblox and being my big age and just like trolling kids is like the most fun I've ever had on the internet ever in my life.

It's so fun to tell a random kid that you're going to tell their parents on them. Yeah, it's also like a ride of passage because I was getting bullied on like Xbox by like 20 something, 30 something year olds all the fucking time. I'm like, I can't wait to do it. I'm going to do it. Get off my phone. Someone was annoying the fuck. But, oh yeah, and then she said something in the next year that I've been like doing is going to like, it's going to be like a puzzle falls into place. And it's just like I'll feel satisfaction.

But she said it's going to be something that helps a lot of people. And I was like, okay, that can really like, oh, what the fuck does that mean, bro? Like, what are you talking about? I know what it is. I think I do know what it is. But I don't know. Yeah, she said a lot of really good things. But then she said she was like, oh, you're usually a very, like, vivacious and bright soul. But right now there's just something that's kind of, like, dragging you down.

And, like, there's just something that's like, it feels like you're, like, coded in, like, a film or something. Like, it's just, there's something blocking. And then she was like, there's something blocking your chakras, but I can clean them for you. And then she- Yeah, and then she started to try to sell me that. But I think I will go back to her also because I just love her because any older Latin woman, I'm like, Abulita. Abolita.

Coco. Coco. Coco. Acuela. Yeah. We don't know my grandma's name. Is it a Buella? Yeah.

No, she's told me her name so many times. I'm just a piece of shit. I don't remember. Well, to be fair, like I only called her grandma. Wait, I don't know my mammals. No, no, yeah, I do. Yeah, I know your grandma's name. But people call her by her name.

Or no, not that grandma. On my mom's side, Mammal. I don't know her name. It's Madeline and my mom's middle name. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, it's really cute. But yeah, she said all of that. and then oh this was like my favorite part at one point she like backed up from my cards and she

was looking at them and then she was like is that your sister in the car and for anybody who doesn't know me and my sister don't look alike um i don't think anybody usually no one's ever thinks we're sisters we look pretty different and she was like oh are you sisters i was like yeah and then she was like oh my god that's so funny because i obviously i did her first and i didn't know if you guys were related or anything I thought you guys are just friends and I'm looking at the cards and usually in cards you can see like if someone's related to someone it's like so apparent and she was like your cards are so similar in the way siblings cards are similar but there's like a few missing things that kept me thinking like no I don't think they're siblings and she was like but a lot

of like basically the upbringing part she said is like was identical and that's what she kept she kept like these people are so similar, like in a way that siblings are similar, which was cute, because I was like, that's your little mini meat. That's my girl. Natalie is so fucking funny, bro. Leo is also just so, my siblings are awesome. I love them so much. I'm about to derail the conversation into a completely different place.

I think making a bag of popcorn at home is so deranged. I think that is scary person behavior and like it's really like getting a bag of Orval Peck and popping it in the fucking like now that's a fucking night like what are you talking about I can't get behind it with no with no fucking movie playing on the TV you're making a bag of popcorn like if you have a reason to do it I'm like make that bag of popcorn but just making a bag of popcorn as a snack since when is that like an invalid snack you walked around the house yesterday eating a huge huge fucking sausage that he got from Costco and then I went to Costco and then I went in the fridge this morning and where was that sausage not fucking dipped back into that ugly package that he got no it's lead up against the milk in the fridge the person I was with the milk and the sausage just rolls to the back of the fridge I used that as a brace but the person I was with was like you're not going to be able to put any of this in the refrigerator because it's so ugly all of the Costco packaging is fucking ugly they need to do something about it where's the options. I will say my first experience at Costco was major. It was like, is that your first time

at a Costco period? Yes. Like, yes. I thought you had it up. No, no. Like you were kind of the broke one. No, we had Sam's club. Brokey. No, but I shopped around this Costco. Who the fuck is Coco? Who is Sam? Who is Sam? My dead brother, be like, yeah. Yeah. Who the fuck is Coco? Um, but no, I went shopping randomly a lot of like sub 13 year old shopping at Costco the kids are buying the groceries these days

What does that mean? And they're washing their cars They're their breadwinners of the family The fuck way I'm here Don't come here Fuck. Costco was a movie.

I spent $200 on candy in ramen soda and a gallon tub, a tub, not a tub of cottage cheese, which I'm going to fuck up in Joshua Tree. Oh my God, it's going to be so good. I bought like 15, two-foot-long sausages. You're going to put a tub of cottage cheese. How do you think it got here? In a car, no, for three to four hours. Two and a half. And you know that car ride's going to be longer.

Yeah. It's going to be longer. Oh, we're taking it slow and steady. That's my sign right there. That's my sign right there. Yup, that's my sign. But you're going to have it heating up in your fuck-ass trunk. I don't give a fuck.

No, I'm going to put it in the fronk. It's insulated. Is it actually? No. but um costco was a movie had the costco dog it was delicious put about three pounds of mustard on it which was actually really fucking scary because at one point my Costco hot dog with 10 pounds of mustard rolled off the packaging and rolled onto the table and I moved it immediately and then wiped up the mustard immediately the way that mustard stained that table like it was

fucking scary. It was like, it really freaked me out. And I was like, that's what I'm putting into my body right now. Like what it literally was. And I ate the rest of the hot dog. Yeah. The hot dog was just on the table too. Yeah, I didn't give a fuck. Less we forgot. Well, no, I was thinking the it was mainly the mustard that hit the table. The mustard caught all the bacteria. Yeah, I peeled it off. And there was like still a layer of mustard. Did you wipe that mustard off? On the table? Or the, the, the mustard that was left on the hot dog. Did you wipe it off? Or you used that mustard. I ate it. But it didn't touch the table. The other mustard touched the table. someone out there understand what I'm saying I get your logic but you're like kind of also fuck chicken bakes they're so good they're so good it's and it's so much food for the price the color the color the flavor is amazing but the way that sat in my body should be considered a crime against humanity like that was it was really intense to go through the rest of my day with a chicken bake in my body and I only had like five bites of it but it was Like it was really, really, really fucked up what it did to me. But yeah, it was really crazy. All of the kids were shopping for their grocery. Why are you saying that? Like, why do you keep saying that? Is that like a thing that people say?

No. Is it just like a joke you wouldn't like somebody are trying to like pick off the floor? Like you're trying to like jumpstart it? Yeah, I'm just trying to make it a thing. I also used aluminum-free deodorant for the first time. and um wait for the first time ever yeah i'm pretty sure oh i guess yeah because you've always used like chemical burns yeah i love i i used to get chemical burns from uh what's that blue one with the red bottle old spice they gave me like highly chemical burns i won't ever forget my first

boyfriend would get the worst chemical burns from that and continued to use it and i had to like explicitly tell them to just stop using it and switch just get a new deodorant challenge he it stopped burning but to my original point I used aluminum-free deodorant for the first time like a couple days ago I think that shit is designed to make you smell worse so you buy more and apply

more all the time just like EOS lip balm just like fucking Danger Sampooh Sampooh What's Sampaqu eyes It's when the whites of your eyes show and it means you're going to die young I have Sanpaku eyes sometimes

Everybody does something When I look up. Everybody has everything sometimes. And everything is bad for you if you do too much of it. Everything means nothing to me. Yeah, I use antiperspirant. Like, I use a deodorant that on any app you look on, it's definitely going to kill me. And that's exactly what I should do.

And that's, I don't give a fuck if it's giving me armpit cancer or whatever. Like, I literally don't care. I use the natural stuff. I can tell. It works. I'm pretty sure it works For you To you

No I ask other people No it's because it's blocking Those those aluminum ones What they are good at Is the like scented part Kind of squeezes out the Like part where you're sweating And then you get the scent

But what we get from when you raise your arms Is fucking stench Oh you're on the receiving end What? Banging both of y'all's mom's poo style From the back I did notice that you were good at that Yeah

Yeah, we, me and Kai ran into each other at 1 a.m. Really? Completely random on Saturday night? Saturday. You're going to tell people about this. So I was walking in Silver Lake across an overpass, and I just was stood in the middle of the overpass, staring at the traffic for literally like five minutes because I was like, one, I could kill myself right now, and that would be awesome.

to it's beautiful it's like the arteries of the city like it's a gorgeous thing to see all these like angelinos like keeping the city alive they're like carrying the oxygen through the city and it was like a sonder yeah sonder no i wasn't feeling sonder really yeah no i was like this is like a beautiful thing i was like this is gorgeous the like freeways um the interstate what what is it called an interstate highway freeway what the fuck what it literally what does that mean are they different are highways and freeways different yeah i think so because the highways and freeways because technically, like in Miami, the U.S. one is considered a highway, but I think a freeway is when it's huge. A freeway is what America loves, right? Can we just call them roads? Like, are we allowed to just call them a road? Literally conservative people when they found out non-binary was an option. Can we just call them roads? Can we just call them a road?

Me when I'm at the workshop meeting with Haley Bieber right before the makeup started. Can we just call it road? that that was good that was really good that was really sick um but yeah I was I was contemplating suicide and then it's just that time of year I eventually yeah exactly and like literally is I mean I wasn't actually gonna jump because the fence was too tall and it actually worked because I was like oh I wouldn't partake in a suicide like that that like would fuck with somebody else um but I finished that whole like dramatic moment of my life and then I start walking towards where my car was parked and we see this guy stumbling in front of us, jingling his keys, like just pull up and skirt into a spot and like he's like all fucked up and we're like, oh my God, this is like really sad.

This guy's like blackout drunk. And then the person I was with was like, oh look, it's Kai, ha, ha, ha, because he always sees like a white guy with glasses and I was like, that's Kai. And then I look a little closer and I see an NPR sweater. Oh my fucking God that like the dude's wearing the same sweater.

This is fucking weird. This is so weird. So you witnessed Kai blackout drunk part of the car. Yes. Yes. He skirted into a red zone was like literally stumbling all over the place and we ran into him. He just walked right fucking past us and then stumbled into another fucking car hit the ground and me and my buddy were like girl what the fuck is happening? And then we realized like holy shit this is actually fucking Kai. And he just like was black. out drunk drunk. I knew I'm driving. You got into someone else's car. He wasn't even at his house. He was literally like three blocks away from his fucking house. It's just an overpass that I hang out at sometimes. He was just parking. He was just parking somewhere else. Just chilling at the overpass that I always hang out at. And I don't want to talk about it because there's stuff that I don't want to share. You smelled like fucking tequila. I had to get something from my boy. I had to get something from your boy. You smelled like tequila and you were rolling around on the ground and like basically seizing.

Well, don't Priuses have, like, self-driving now? No, Priuses have, they have anti-alcohol technology in the AC. It sucks it out of you. So it sucks it out of you. Oh, so that's how you were so good at driving when you were blackout. Yes, of course. I is one of the best drunk drivers I know. He's so good at it.

He gets better as he drinks. Yeah, like it makes you more confident. No, guys, I wasn't actually drunk driving. Wait, but did y'all actually see each other? Yes, yeah. You actually were parking and going to. I was driving. From your perspective.

And I saw, like, Drew's silhouette. And I was like, I know what that silhouette is. He has very broad shoulders, very tiny waist, big bubble butt, perfect print. So I pulled over. I did have a print that night. Yeah, and it was a random-ass place in silver. It was like you're walking over the highway from. It sounds like y'all were all maneuvering around the same gay bar, but I am following.

No, it actually was really close, but it was, we were nowhere near. I was at a gay guy's house. Yeah. So I, I, uh, I, uh, what? What? Also, the guy's house I was at, his name was Kai. That is crazy. Isn't that weird?

Yeah, I found that out later. But I pulled over and I was like, that I was like, gay guy is named Kai who live in someone. Yeah. Sorry, you could block that out. I just sounded you. I pulled over and I was like, how, how can I utilize this very rare situation? It was so special.

I want to, I want to, I want to prank him and scare him. So one thing I was going to do was just, like stand perfectly still in between the cars and when you guys walk by, just be motionless and then run off when you guys noticed me. But then I was like, what if I just pretended to be like super hammered? And I stumbled in front of them and I was like so close. What I wanted to happen was I stumbled by them and then just ran off. And never spoke about it. Never spoke about it. I didn't even acknowledge it when I saw you next. But then I broke because I saw Drew's face and I folded. Were you terrified? Did you actually think?

he was fucked up. That had you been scary at first. I legitimately, like, you just do that bit all the time. So I, like, immediately assumed you were in that bit. But there was, like, a brief moment where I was, like, I was like so, like, one, I thought you were stalking me. I was like, did he just check my location and, like, pull up on me or some shit? Two, I was like, what the fuck are the chances of this?

Like, Kai just watched me, like, think about killing myself. And then, like, you drove by. You were just standing looking at the road. Yeah. And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Like, I, like, kind of could have saved my life if I was really, like, going for it. You don't think the person you were with would have saved you. No, they would have pushed you.

They would have been excited. You're lucky I wasn't there. That's what you get for being surrounded by yes men. And you need just. No men. No men. No mad. You need a new man.

New man. Come on. Come on. Come on. Yeah. But, yeah, that was really crazy. It was like 1 a.m. And then we ran into another person that we knew.

in the exact same spot and we were like girl what the fuck is happening it was just like the meetup of the Silver Lake gaze I guess and me and me and Kai wait so what were you actually doing me? No Kai I was driving home yeah what were you doing Kai

what were you up to why were you driving home at 1 a.m. I was driving home at 1 a.m. You got fucking yogurt I did get yogurt alone and he got yogurt alone and the craziest thing Oh, wait, you actually weren't getting play or something? You were getting yogurt? No. He was getting yogurt.

And the craziest fucking thing is he went to Minchies, which is a yogurt shop. There are none in L.A. And we looked at the map after. Bitch, you were in the fucking valley. Yeah, I went to the valley for that. Yeah, we were like, you drove all the way to the valley for yogurt. Yes. Let me see what this is.

And it was really fucking good. Like, Silver Lake to the valley for yogurt is crazy. When I got yogurt, I ate it alone. Everyone else there was like on dates. And then I went back for seconds And then the guy was like I went it back and I filled up the same cup And he was like

You can't do that Okay, that's just not making sense Because this yogurt shop closes at 10 p.m. No, there's another one that closes at midnight It's just your alibi is like getting a bit funky Because I actually can't It's in the valley Yes, I'm right

11 p.m. But y'all weren't in the valley No, I was driving home to my house It was 1 a.m. when he got back home. Wait, do you actually park that far from your crib? No, no, he pulled over I thought you were actually parking there. I was like, that's still suss. Y'all need to investigate Kai.

Because why are you being the fucking the stalker? You're being the like midnight stalker. That's what really happening. I don't stalk you guys anymore. I could smell the yogurt on his breath. He's being the, what is it? Is it the midnight creeper? What flavor did you get?

Oh, the night stalker. Yeah. Kai's the night stalker. I got vanilla with peanuts and peanut nutter butters. And it was really good. Look, that's the type of thing that I like. And the guy gave me a free second cup because he saw that. I was alone.

And you were a little sad. I actually felt good. It was very nice. It was a cathartic loneliness. And then I actually, I saw weapons alone yesterday. Oh, was that good? It was so good. I want to see it so bad.

It was so good. Mason was trying to see it yesterday, but I was like, I actually would rather die than being the movie theaters on a Sunday. I want to see weapons really bad. I want to see Freakier Friday really bad. I want to see F1 and IMAX really bad. Like, I need to do it. Yeah.

I don't know if I can get behind Freaky or Friday. Also, what happened to hour and a half movies? Why is every movie two and a half hours long now? Like, literally what is going on? It's because they get more ads since the longer the movie is. Oh, yeah. They get to shove more ads in it. They get to put more ad placements in the movie that you don't pick up on.

No, but like, like a two-hour movie is too much. I know, yeah. It's like sitting in it. Unless the story needs it, Most of the time, it's so ridiculous. The last 30 minutes suck every fucking time. Yeah, I haven't been to a movie that's that long and so long that I haven't gotten an hour 30 in. And I'm like, surely this is the end.

I, surely this is. It was two and a half hours, I think. Don't quote me on that, weapons. But it is the first movie I have seen in so long where I was like dreading at ending. Because it was so good. Was it actually scary? I wouldn't say it's scary. Is it kind of like barbarian where it's like?

weird middle ground there's like horrible yeah it's so good is it from the same creators he was a comedy guy first and then just like i'm gonna write a fucking scary movie and then he wrote barbarians got that made for four million dollars then got made weapons and it was like one of the greatest fucking screenplays of all time it was in a massive bidding war and uh Jordan peel wanted it so fucking bad he was like he he wanted it so bad he was like he he wanted it so bad and they're actually really close friends the director writer and jordan peel um and he didn't get the movie so jordan fired his entire fucking team because he wanted to produce it and the guy actually went with another production company because he got an extra million dollars in the deal

yeah but it's it's more it's deeper than that it's like uh jordan peel has like a first look situation with universal and how do you know all of this what's happening i actually don't know if I'm allowed to be saying any of this. I was going to say that doesn't sound like stuff you should. I'm sure it's fine. But he has a first look deal with Universal and he, his team, Jordan Peel's team was tasked with convincing the higher ups at Universal to get this movie, but they needed, it was a $48 million movie, like to pay the director and fund the movie, $40 million budget or whatever.

And his team couldn't convince Universal to buy the movie. So he went With another place Yeah my expectations were so high Because of that and like all of my friends were like This is incredible And it was so good That was the single greatest

Piece of promotional material I've seen come out in the last like five years Like Jordan Peel fired his team Because he didn't get the movie Because he wanted I think they leaned into that Yeah Because Jordan Peel's the only person making good horror movies right now too So he saw it he was like gagged by it

Like yeah I need to see that fucking movie so bad. I've been to the movie since January. The last thing I saw was Nosephiratu. What the hell? Yeah. But it is a terrible movie to end on it. Yeah.

Well, it pissed me off. I mean, it's not a bad movie. It's not a bad movie. Yeah, I don't want to, because I love the costuming. I love the directing. I think it's a gorgeous movie, but for me, it was just boring. Also, Lily A. I also, yeah, she was so good.

But, like, the movie itself was good, but it just pissed me off because I, I wish I liked that style of movie more than I did because it reminds me of Lighthouse I really love Lighthouse but to me it wasn't the greatest movie ever because I was like I can just like with Nosferatu I can recognize that this is an amazing movie but I didn't walk away being like holy shit

I would literally give away everything to like be a part of this world and like this universe that's how I felt with Janet Planet and perfect days I was like I love these movies I probably won't recommend them to people unless like I really know that person I know what they like but weapons it was just so refreshing to see a movie that was like so fun was so well so well written I want to watch it I did see something today that it was like on reels one of the camera operators who's like a rollerblade operator and this I think it was from weapons because it has that one blonde girl that one white girl

yeah yeah um and it was like him literally just like being dOP on rollerblades and I was like damn. That alone makes me want to watch a movie because I'm like, holy shit. That kind of stuff is so impressive. I think God's greatest gift to humanity is rollerblades. No, other than rollerblades and other than me being able to lay in bed on my iPhone as lesbians. I agree. I agree 100%. I literally love a lesbian. And yet, where are you going? We're not done. What did you say? Literally, what did you say? I just said I like lesbians. The hell? Is she good? I just hurt her crack a bottle of Greygoose. I know. Inya.

Don't drink, Anya. Sorry, we just noticed that we didn't move the room, Mike. And it's in the box. It's not even being used. Yeah, it's not even being utilized. But I was saying that unironically, by the way. Like, lesbians are the best? Yeah, I had, like, one of the greatest conversations I've ever had with a lesbian on Saturday night. You might find that that happens when you speak to lesbians.

It's literally, like, the least threatening place to be in the world. Yeah. I want to shout out some lesbians. Do you know Izzy and Emma on TikTok? Yeah, I love that. The last two times I went to New York, we went to Cafe Mogadour, and both dinners were, like, the highlights of those trips. Wait, why don't lesbians get enough recognition? That's actually a big one.

I think 2026 is going to be lesbians here. The year-the-lesbians? Yuck. I'd love to see that. I hate gay shit. Whoa. We know you'd love to see that. that.

Aver. Who does it better? Who does it better? Okay. Also, one last thing I want to bring up is can you stop naming your fucking kids, Drew? You think you will, like what? I am so, I literally have met more Drew's in my life in the last month and a half, two months than any other name.

It's like literally at the top of the list and it's starting to fucking piss me off. I know Drew's not a special name, but like, chill the fuck out. I mean, just change your name. Yeah. You should just make that first step and change it. Should I make it to Bartholomew? I would beat your ass. But going by Bart would be kind of cute.

You're not Bart. I give Bart. You're not Bart. I give Bart. No. Not like Bart from the Simpsons. Actually, I can't even do that because Bart from the Simpsons. Is the Bart.

What do I give? I've actually had... I feel like I give Cassie. I've had the conscious thought that you are so a Drew before Like I remember when I first met you I was like this person embodies

The name Drew I don't think I knew a Drew before you I didn't know one either I didn't know a Drew before you And I don't want to because you're my final boob No one's gonna comment on the fact that I just slid like that Media of the only

Wait one last thing The Statue of Day David has heart-shaped pupils. Really? Yes, it's a Mandela effect. That's cool. It's a Mangela Bay effect. Somebody went in there with a nail-dremel tool and made it heart-shaped.

No, because it's kind of crazy because people were like, I got like a tattoo of the statue of David and never once did I discuss it with my tattoo artist that do you want the heart-shaped pupils or not? It was just everybody, they always had regular, he always had regular fucking pupils. but now all of a sudden he has heart-shaped pupils like what the fuck Mandela effect

We need a one mandela effect Oh yeah One Mandela One Mandela No there's no way That is a Mandela effect Because what bitch Like this shit was on Tumblr down

No I never would have been In all my textbooks To be fair though Like isn't it Who's getting up in his face Like no one's really like going I'm gonna get up in that fucking free If he speaks bad about a woman, I'm getting up in his face.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'll push that bitch over. Watch it crumble. Crumble into dust. Yeah. Don't talk to me or my lesbians. I think you know like two.

You. Okay. All right. Should we do media? Oh, that was a good flick that time. I hate. That's so much. Well, I got an ad this week for a luxury rehabilitation in Malibu.

Oh, I've been getting, is it passages? I want to go to passages so bad. No, this one is Carrera treatment. I want to go to passages so bad. So if you want to sponsor me since you think I have such a problem. Fly me out. Oh, brand trips are going to be popping once they start doing rehab trips. Yeah, oh, bitch.

We're all about to have Lyme's disease. Okay, my media is Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs And then I brought back Orinoco Flow the other day And did the bit And it's such a good song And the bit is funny still I love Enia And then

Oh, I watched Bama Rush What is it? It's like about like the surrogue. sorority girls like in how intense like the oh i think i started that um i think you did because i had never seen it and that was like halfway watched on my um HBO account and i was like i started that after i finished the dallas cowboy show because i was like college culture is just something i'm so not hey sorry drew is so pretty stop here i'll call you right back Love you.

But I started because I'm like so removed from university culture that that was like blowing me away and I started that. I have to finish it. Was it good? I loved like the cinematography of it. Like there was a part of me like there is one thing about it that I am super annoyed by and it's just like the director kind of using this like really, really fascinating topic of like girls. rushing for sororities as a vehicle to talk about her like alopecia um which like it did fit in some places and it made sense in a lot of places but it was just like why don't you make a separate documentary about that yeah but the documentary as a whole I liked it people

fucking hated it like hated it but there were like a few moments like just like specifically with like the way the camera was held in these girls faces and like how like I think I really liked like the editing and like the like the like the cinematography maybe is like the word but like she she would like hold the camera in these girls faces while they were talking about something and you could just see these like micro expressions on these girls faces like where like the facade like was finally like cracking a little bit because they're all acting a little bit because they're on camera and there was this one girl um who I like want it Kiki with in real life because I know she has some fucking stories but um Yeah, I would give it like a 2.5 out of 10. Oh. Out of five out of five. Oh, I was like, that's like awful. Yeah, I mean, it has like a 1.3 on Letterbox.

Really? Yeah, like the girls did not like it. Yeah, but I watched I love you, Philip Morris, and that was awesome. It was like, I kind of didn't like the directing style of that movie, but the movie itself was like really funny and good and made me cry. And honestly, my only media of the week is too high by Stevie Wonders. That's it What is Stevie wondering about? What's on his mind?

You? Drew. It's Drew, it's Drew. It's all for Drew. Everything I drew. I drew it all the time. Heaven is a place on earth with Drew. And Kai is so sexy and fine shit too.

And you gave me boners every single day. Oh, yes, it's true. That sounded good. And yeah, I'm loving you. In Maladrew, in Maladrew. This is an I-Heart podcast.