Emergency Intercom - Enya’s secret project

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

Drew provides video proof that birds are being replaced by robots and enya exposes a secret project she was working on during her starring role in a brat tv show and. Oh and we answer questions from the patreon  This episode is sponsored by Better Help Visit https://BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month. Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/INTERCOM and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Say hello to Tim's Selects, Tim's everyday value menu. Enjoy the new spinach and feta savory egg pastry or our roasted red pepper and Swiss pinwheel starting at only $2.99 plus tax. Try one or try our full Tim's Selects lineup. Terms apply. Prices may vary at participating restaurants in Canada. It's time for Tim's. Hey guys, welcome to Emergency Intercom where we get crazy, but we get serious. We do wild things on here, but we can also get serious. We can also make love and meaning. Meaning of this sick and twisted world.

You saw the diarrhea plane? The diarrhea? Dude. Wait, actually, do you have that video? Because I didn't watch it because I wanted to react to it. So there was this airplane that was flying across the sea. It got two hours into their trip. I think they were taking flight out of Atlanta.

Yeah. And two hours into their trip, someone was fighting fucking demons, bro. Like real fucking demons. And when you see the video, you're going to know what I was talking about. Wait, is it a, there's a video of no no but like it was like it was two hours in the flight this person like must have been like really down bad because like their butthole like it looked like it was spraying like it the aisles were covered in human shit like it looked like multiple people sprayed feces everywhere, but it was so bad that, like,

it was, like, splattered shit all down the hallway, and they were, like, fucking running to the bathroom, like... Like, spraying poop out of their butt. Wait, that's, like, I have that picture of the girl who shit at the club.

Yeah, literally. Have I shown you that? Literally, yeah. Dude, Ty, this is gonna make you disgusted! Diarrhea plane. I wanna get it back. I wanna make it better.

Diarrhea plane. Damn, wait, I'm low key serving Olivia Rodrigo right now. Okay, here's the video. Was forced to turn around after a passenger had a severe case of diarrhea. Wait. Viewer discretion is advised.

Oh, they covered it all up. Oh, it covered. Oh, there it is. Look, it like goes all the way up the aisle. Do you see how far it goes up the aisle? That motherfucker has salmonella. Like, why are they shitting like that? I'm not putting it in the episode. Like, yeah, we can't show that.

It's literally like turds. What's annoying is I really want, we can't insert that, but I really want to insert what I have. Oh my God. On my phone right now because it's the craziest thing ever. I've never had to shit like that before. That's what I'm saying. Like, literally, what was going on? Like, why were they spraying dirt?

This is the having to hurt, too. No, that's a vibe. Like, the having to hurt, too. No way. That looks like fucking peanut butter. We can put that in the episode. You know what's crazy is I literally was texting some friends before we went to a party. And one of my friends was like, dude, I have such bad diarrhea and I'm wearing a dress.

Like, I'm going to shit on the floor. And then I literally looked up girl shit on the floor in the club and i found this dude those videos of just like the most random people that like look like they've done it for their entire life where they just like like shake a turd out of their pant leg and it just plops on the ground of a gas station because is that like a common video because i've never seen at least six videos just going around the internet where someone will like just like be standing up and drop a turd out of their pants and then just keep walking like nothing happened.

And it's all like recordings of like security cameras where they're like recording like the turd falling out. And it's like it's so fucking funny. Yeah, just look up like security camera footage someone shitting inside my convenience store or something that is so crazy because it just is such an animal instinct to like you just have to poop you naturally have to do those kind of things and also i don't know why my brain is going here but last night as i was falling asleep i literally i was like i sit here maybe my projections of you being schizophrenic and losing your mind in the future are just me

because that's where I'm headed I don't know how to describe this I was not high I was not drunk I was dead sober falling asleep last night and when I closed my eyes I literally like I had a moment where I like felt my whole existence and I felt everything in my body

like I felt my whole body and like like the weight of it and like everything moving through it and then literally listen to this and then it was like you know those fucking stupid ass cameras that award shows that like swing around like i i like envision myself because i like my brain like 3d scans my body projected yeah you're omnipresent i like scans my whole body and then like it was just like nothing, I was just like, in like, someone's like Tumblr grid feed. Like, it was like, so like, like, you know, like when everybody was obsessed with just like a white thing with like black lines, like I was there.

Like, it was literally like in a video game where you're, you walk too far outside of the world. So it's just like the 3d like rendering like it has to render out that's what i felt like and i it freaked me out i immediately opened my eyes and then i just looked around i was like okay um and then i grabbed my iphone and i drowned myself in that's like that's the real problem is like once you realize like why you like okay like like when you start consciously thinking about why you picked up your phone or why you hit the puff bar or why you turned on the tv or why you open your laptop like whatever it is like once you start like locking in and thinking about the

thoughts you had before that that's how you crack the code because like there's a reason why you want to dull your senses or like need that spike of dopamine and it's because your brain is thinking some thought that you don't like that you're running from and once you stop running from those thoughts that's when you unlock like superpowers and i'm never gonna stop running that's why my screen time is 18 hours superpowers like i don't need that that's the thing is like what like what are you going to gain what are you going to gain literally okay so you know like in ancient times how they like demonized sex and made like sex like made everyone in the world still guilty about sex like you can't have sex without like being like a little guilty about it

what if instead of sex the catholic church chose shitting so everyone was just going around like holding i don't shit i never do that i don't have sex before marriage i don't shit before marriage i don't shit before marriage well girls do that girls don't poop until they die when they die they drop a huge load yeah and that's why i've seen it my grandma look it up look it up girls coffins are bigger yeah my grandma's coffin their lower half becomes full of poop yeah it was crazy my my grandma's coffin was like full of turds so weird it smelled so bad dude that's every funeral woman funeral it smells really bad how many women's funerals have you been to like 36 i go to the victims i go to my victims' funerals. You seen the pictures and videos of me hanging out with Shawn Mendes going around?

There's no, you have never hung out with Shawn Mendes. Correction. I did. Let me find the pic. It was before Beyonce, before Toy, before Rainbow Slurpee. His Clout Chaser album. I know. Like, what?

Was it before you looking at the Masonic imagery in MrBeast videos? Let me see, let me see. I'm going to send it to you. Dude. I airdropped it. I'm going to cancel that because it's taking you too long. Oh my god, I'm actually going to freak the fuck out. Hey, you need a new phone because yours is moving so slow. oh my god i'm actually gonna freak the fuck out you

need a new phone because yours is moving so slow oh my god they unveiled the new iphone today so your phone is going slow guys they're doing it again they literally are bro i don't believe in that shit y'all are fucking tweakers bitch it's because you use that damn phone too much so your battery is melting the fucking there was an actual court case there was an actual court case where like they're awarding people money because it was proven that apple throttles batteries like it's a real thing that's okay i'm so mad about that here it is me and shame uh me and sean fuck you me and shame fuck there is a picture of me and sean it was it's actually so funny and i was gonna fucking

find it, dude. Dude, I literally, I cannot deal with my phone right now. This is like driving me insane. It was before, was it after this? Look at him. Stop. Look up air one. Because it was in the air one. Do you have your.

No, it wasn't in the air one. Fuck, you already know. So it's not even funny to show you because. I don't think I know because I'm asking you. This bit fucking flopped. I'm asking you like what it is and you're saying it's not what i think it is it is exactly what you think it is oh then this is awkward because i here i found it

dude i cannot hate when you make that face but y'all are hanging out in that it kind of looks like a fan interaction i sent, I sent it to you. You know what's crazy? That's the second time Drew Phillips and Shawn Mendes have been in an air wand together. So something is happening. Wait, this is it? Yeah, that's the one.

Flash that one when I showed it to you and then flash it when I showed you. But I think it should be coming in now. If you swipe over. Coming in hot. Hey, hot off the presses. Is Drew Phillips being a creepo? I'm not getting it.

You're going to jail. They're throttling your phone. That's why. This is too fucking much. This is so fucking much. I can't deal with this shit. You have had that phone for 18 years. I know I'm getting the 15,

but then I saw it and I was like, so depressed. I was like i think so depressed i was like this shit is like so mid this is what i was waiting for like if i'll let you buy this one off of me and i'll buy the other one girl no you'll give that you'll get this for a discounted price can you stop filming me oh you thought i was filming you nah guys buy my wildflower case do you know i have a case i have a collaboration case came out have you seen a year ago have you seen that um anymore though have you seen the um spy animals that they've been dropping in like animal society no i'm being dead in animal society like what are you talking about literally why have you gone so far let me fucking speak let me speak let me say no they have been making fake critters of

like monkeys of turtles of birds of fucking things and these birds are like drones and they like they drop them in these fucking things and they lay eggs and the eggs are fucking cameras and then they record how other animals react and these monkeys like take this spy monkey for sure chill chill chill chill these monkeys take these spy monkeys in and they treat it as its own because they're like all this like hurt little monkey can't even do anything for itself and they'll fucking one of them dropped it and it like died and they made it just go still and die and they literally held like a funeral for this robot i need to see this and it was oh now i love his die and they literally held like a funeral for this robot i need to see this and it was oh now all of a sudden no i'm not showing you well i need to see

it because it sounds like you're fucking making it up also were they filming it and putting it on youtube for profit because then we will really know the connection to monkeys and humans once monkeys start recording them giving food to people and money to people in Best Buy. But disaster strikes. An injured baby is a cause for concern. Oh, you thought I was lying? Ew, look at his butt. And this langer seems to believe she's died.

And then look. Then, something extraordinary happens. Look at them. It's like it's Azul. Look, they host a funeral. Like, this is going to make me cry. Yeah, no, it's like actually making me tear up. Look around the motionless spy creature as if it is a real baby. No, why is this making me cry?

This is deep as fuck. It's so obviously fake. These fucking stupid... Stupid-ass, dumb-ass critters. Stupid-fucking-ass monkey. Wow. Look. This has to be edited to make it look like they're actually...

Look, they hug. They're so sad. A calm and contemplative mood descends on the colony. He's looking up at God. Oh my God, what if monkeys think there's a God? We are their God. Nah, we're the devil. Yeah.

Quite accidentally, our spy creature is at the center of something but yeah that is wow that actually made me tear up yeah well there's even more spy critters like it's really fucking crazy okay stupid ass monkeys though because that monkey looks obviously fake and the spy bird is hilarious it like literally made me scream oh yeah this is a spy grub which is so od like they made a grub worm with a spy camera and the birds eat it the birds eat it they killed the fucking bird and then oh here's one they made a spy pile of shit this is just a spintura movie it then rolls it like drops these cameras and then that bird look at the bird did you see it that's a spy bird like what is that so they can like

film for like discovery channel you thought I was filming you you thought I was filming for her but look if you go through this subreddit there are so many the thing is a lot of that footage kind of fucking sucks.

Yeah, they don't even use that footage. The footage they're getting from the spy cameras aren't even good. Oh, yeah, the baby followed. He kicked the fuck out of that baby. And then it started, and the baby, the whole herd left the baby elephant behind. And then the baby got stuck on the land because it's not allowed to go into the water because the first part is super muddy. So it just got left behind. And then the mom forgot about him and then sprinted back

and was beating the shit out of him with its fucking trunk because it was like, don't ever leave my side again. And the mom, it was a learning lesson for both of them because it was like i gotta look out for my baby but elephants are like smarter than you when we walk into a store and there's rocks in there yeah you walk away from me to go look at the rocks hitting me with a belt but i do it sensually so i don't get in trouble we get in trouble for fucking each other because i get to fuck with your sister we should take you to get a makeover. Like I'm thinking we get. No I don't need that because I'm already hot.

Okay here's what I'm thinking. I'm already in peak form. Here's what I'm thinking for you. Extensions. Laminate your eyebrows. Perm your lashes. We can perm your mustache to sit correctly. No you're not getting any. We're not doing anything permanent. Oh we can get you

lip blushing though. We can get you lip blushing, though. We can get you lip blushing so your lips are permanently like overly pink. I need Kybella. Nothing in that. I need a facelift. I need La Mer eye cream. Hey, you don't need anything. Thank you.

What you need to do is love yourself. Oh. I mean, a lot of people need that, but I can't be of service to everybody. What do I look like, AAA? I'm like... I'm going to start laughing like that. Wait, this is my impression of Kai. Wait a minute. i get no bitches i thought you would understand

because i just sounded like you my name is kai that's not what i sound like i get no bitches that's not what i sound like dude he's doing it you're actually you're you're better at sounding like you than you sound normally. My name is Kai. I get no bitches. That sounds like what you said. My name is Kai and I get no bitches. Yeah, that's how you sounded.

That's just about right. You sound like fucking Kermit the Frog. My name is Kai. I'm so sad. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I need Jim Henson to come back to life so I can fuck him. There's a lot of people I need to come back to life so I can fuck them. I'm going to do a teleprompter test. Oh, okay. Yeah. So rumors on the street, and I'm killing them now. Do you want me to hold it for you?

That I can't read um and we're going to do the teleprompter test live and in 4k um what is the rainbow scope um oh lgbt yes okay let's tap in pride four three two 4, 3, 2... live your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. Welcome to the Big Ant National Weather Forecast. As we head into the middle of the week, we are seeing a storm system pushing west, which is already bringing rain showers up in the Pacific Northwest and light hail and sleet in the Rockies. Moving across the eastern U.S., the very cool areas are starting to retreat. This is slow. We have around 51 New York City, and although there is still sunshine in atlanta it is cool 52

but it's getting warmer in the central part of the country we are starving between staying between 50 and 60 out west we are seeing some rain cooler temperatures seattle is hovering around 49 and no head uh to put or no need to put your suntan lotion on just yet. A little more weather down in Florida. Scattered storms out in Orlando and Miami to some storms and quite powerful later on in the evening. By Thursday, the storm system will increase in risky heavy rain and even large storms across the southern hemisphere of Texas

and going into Louisiana, Baton Rouge. Okay. I want to try. Well now i like watched you read it so i feel like it's like no yeah do a different one oh my god that was so funny honestly if you ever know your spirits lifted just watch drew read out loud okay oh my god so embarrassing what if i fuck it up wait that's the same one and don't fuck it up i'm so embarrassed that now i have a jewel in my hand because i used to be the person who made fun of people so bad for it but honestly i've never had advice in my life and i need something what do you want me to do heroin let's use this practice session to report on the life and passing of Queen Elizabeth II of England. Her Majesty ascended to the...

You put the shit in double speed, Mother Rocker. I put it in two times speed. But I was kind of eating though. You kind of ate. You kind of ate. This has got to be too slow. Yeah. Let's use this practice session to report on the life and passing of Queen Elizabeth II of England.

Her majesty acceded to the throne at the young age of 25. Flop. Though young and inexperienced in the role, through hard work and determination, she managed to visit every realm, some many times over. Every realm? What the fuck is she talking about? Like, she would meet with the prime ministers of her time regularly. This must have been a curious situation, being privy to sensitive information. You better hurry up.

While ensuring a neutral position, she continued in the fashion through a total of 15 prime ministers the queen's role as head of state saw her acting as diplomat and hostess to over 110 presidents this shit fuck what the fuck are they talking about fuck queen elizabeth she can stay dead because i don't want to have sex i want to fuck her what if you could bring someone to life but only through the power of sex girl no i mean i yeah it's just not funny because i mean wait wait listen to this you literally can by making babies you bring someone to life planting your seed inside of a woman well they fucking made babies in a test tube without sperm and i think without egg or a woman egg even and they made it and it was secreting chemicals that made a test uh president oh my fucking god that made a pregnancy test positive like go off positive and it was there was no literally they

like made the dna and shit on its own wait but is it growing a baby or isn't that illegal like why are bitches just growing babies and potions also randomly in a fucking just randomly one day we launched a nuclear warhead into the pacific ocean like a couple weeks ago maybe this week maybe last week where do you see all of this because like like i just don't like like where when i think of you on your phone i'm like there's no way you go this like how do you use it like i just don't understand my superpower i'm not even playing when i say that it's fake no that's not big news that's real we launched a nuclear warhead and it was a show of power

because we're like look we got nuclear warheads that can reach all the way to fucking russia wherever we need to launch these bitches so don't fucking play and it made me patriotic for half a moment i was like don't fucking send nukes at me because we will blow you up i think mr beast is becoming war propaganda he's becoming pro-war propaganda this started as a corner with two freaks who liked Mr. Beast. Nowadays, I'm starting to question where he stands. And Mr. Beast, if you want to come onto the podcast and clear your name, we're always here for you. But for now, you are being punished.

Because, oh, actually, okay. Also, if you want to fly me out to North Carolina, first class only, don't fucking play with me. I'll have sex with Mr. Beast. I would fuck him. Yeah, I'd fuck him. Yeah. Yeah, if I want to fly me out to north carolina first class only don't fucking play with me i'll have sex with mr b's i would fuck him yeah i'd fuck him yeah yeah if i had to yeah um if actually i'm not kidding if i had to fuck him to see one of those explosions 100 i do need to see one of those explosions i'll fuck anyone in the crew except nolan wait what's the carl the carl i'm like except nolan except carl wait what's the one who we all think is like kind of fine um chandler chandler so i'll fuck anyone in the mr beast crew except everyone except chandler and then there's um carl kind of freaks me the fuck out

like got some weird ass also like i don't know why i think it's okay to talk about living people our age and be like so if i had to fuck one of them yeah because if someone did that no actually if someone was doing that about me i'd be like i know i miss when people like openly said they wanted to fuck me no one wants to fuck me anymore and still no cum tributes on the reddit like where's the cum tributes like for me the thing is I think if that actually happened, people would be pissed. I'm giving people permission to literally come on a face of my picture.

I need a snail trail across one of my pics, personally. I need someone to move it like a holographic car. Oh, my God. Oh, my God oy, oy. Oy, oy, oy. Baga. You silly baga. Should we see ice cream for our first meal?

Like I'm not even kidding. Why does that sound good? Do we have. I wanted ice cream like three nights ago. I want that. I want a sweet treat. I want the one on large. The Italian spot.

Yeah. You want to come get ice cream after this? Yes. We know you do. You just have to eat across the street. Oh, my God. You just have to eat across the street from us. No, we found a good-ass spot.

Can I eat with you guys this time? No. Okay. We are going to eat at Sweet Fin, and we're going to eat at the ice cream spot. Okay. No, but we found this really good spot that is like a major key alert and they make the best italian ice cream ever yeah it's like italian like whatever the fuck they be calling it gelato smoking on gelato smoking on gelato hey the next episode i'm gonna roll the fattest blunt you've

ever seen and smoke the whole thing and then like pass out on screen just to like traumatize a few people. Okay. No, you're not. I have to scratch my boob. You're literally not going to do that. Blur that. You're literally not going to do that. I'm gonna though.

Wait, why am I gonna? Should we tap into a couple questions? Okay. We're going to answer some questions because we've never done that for our main episode and we thought it'd be fun. Like, just what are you guys thinking?

It's a vibe. It's a vibe. If the questions don't provoke a funny answer, I'm going to wish death upon whoever asked the question. It's a vibe. What's the best Fortnite season? Season one, baby. The best season was with the theater,

the outdoor theater, when we all started first playing together, when you would land at the top. That was the best. That was like peak Fortnite. You at the top like that was the best that was like fortnight you had the automatic assault rifle with like the scope on it like it literally was the best and i'm so upset because i wasn't that good at playing it yet and i wish i could play that now because bitch i would be killing it y'all fucking y'all fucked up it's too much now y'all weren't fucking with fortnight in the real good season i mean kai

might have but but just be like i was there first no like i was there first the real season like december 31st no no no wait let's actually find it because i have my very first win on camera oh my gosh what are we gonna do camera. That was peak Fortnite, like getting home from school and going upstairs into your bedroom or going to your bedroom and isolating for three hours and playing with your friends and fucking sucking dude everyone was so bad at fortnight back then like no one was good and it was like that was was that was what made it fun it wasn't like competing like you were just trying to stay alive and you weren't trying to kill as many people as possible you were literally just like that was a vibe like just trying to stay alive and hiding in bushes until the final kill and trying to like trying your hardest to get a kill um because movement wasn't

a thing yet i didn't play when i was in high school because i was too busy getting home from school and then like banging your mama which honestly now that i look back at it is probably not good actually for me it was after playing fortnight i was squirt making your mama squirt juice you were squirting you're making your mama squirt juice did we create the no we didn't there's no way um someone the other day said cream team or squirt squad in front of me and in my head i was like that's my saying and i was like we didn't make that up squirt squad did you guys i think we i think we might have made i think i made that up in like one of the first episodes yeah like cream team or squirt squad but i don't know maybe i'm

maybe we did it but yeah what someone said it the other day and i was like do you listen to the podcast like why are you saying that to me are you creamed him i've only seen that of the podcast and stuff yeah we i mean this this podcast low-key gives squirt squad like i don't think it serves cream team we serve squirt squad like i'm trying to think of what podcast would be like cream team theo vaughn's podcast is squirt squad yeah that's squirt squad team is like a doctor making a podcast yeah like boring boring i love you and i listen to you but boring uh murder podcasts are killers that's squirters no that's cream team they're squirting all over the place no they're like creaming and it's like guys settle this debate in the comments dries up like weird like they're murder podcasts are creamed i feel like it's a squirt because it's

like high energy and like no a squirt because it's like high energy and like... No, a squirt is like ludicrous. Like, oh my god, I can't believe you just fucking squirted. So like a Theo Von or like a us or like a Trixie and Katya, like those are like, that's all squirting. But like cream is more like

like, oh, like it's on my fucking jeans. I don't know. I feel like it's a squirt. You feel like it's a cream. We can move on. Yeah, we can agree to disagree. Next question. Do you guys feel creatively fulfilled? What does that look like for you guys?

Right now, creatively fulfilled? No. There was like a moment where with the podcast, it was like all the creative I needed, but like everything I'm growing and changing. And it's just not like what I want it to be currently. But I'm hoping in the next few months, the podcast becomes creatively fulfilling. Yeah, change is coming. And I hope it does become creatively fulfilling yeah change is coming um and i hope it does become creatively fulfilling

however podcast aside for me i think like creating a show of some sort or like creating a cartoon like with original characters and all that is a vibe or just like starting a brand that like like not clothing because i suck at making clothing but like starting a brand outside that can live outside of myself and like be on the shelf at like target or walmart and like for people to buy it and not know it's attached to me would be very creative yeah i was gonna say i think it's like it's hard when your creative fulfillment has so much to do with your own person like being a comedian and feeling creatively fulfilled it's kind of difficult because this sounds annoying girls can't be comedians i'm speaking for you okay because like men can't like articulate their thoughts properly

so i was just really looking at you and yeah and girls have vaginas so they can't be yeah because like what am i gonna tell the joke out of my pussy lips? Like, come on. But it's like hard as a comedian to feel creatively fulfilled, especially when it's not something I think we like turn on and off. I feel like we're constantly performing through day-to-day life. So it's hard to feel creatively fulfilled through that in terms of just communicating or

like doing the podcast because the podcast is so conversationalist i do feel fulfilled by it when i walk away and i'm like that was a really funny episode yeah i like literally get a high off of it but sometimes it's hard to just always make a funny episode but we are hopefully headed towards excited change which don't fucking complain when you see change because I'm going to fucking slap you in the head. Big things coming. But yeah, like I think it's just important to find other creative paths to feel fulfilled. Recently, I've been like really into taking like photos and that's been like really fulfilling. Like I pulled out an old camera and I want to get back to like taking photos. And that's been like really fulfilling. Like I pulled out an old camera.

I want to get back to like taking photos. And like, I went somewhere the other day and like drew and like read like it's important to just like expand. Yeah. And I think like another thing. I mean, this might be just like our experience. But like, I know when I'm like creating things, and then I posted online, it immediately becomes just like so on exciting for me because like, it becomes like a job. It becomes like a part of my job. Like, so like if I like,

yeah, I know you're drawing something. I don't know. Yeah. I don't share my drawings anymore because it literally takes away the magic, but it just makes it it feel like oh okay what is this work like why am i adding this to like the person and business that is me online it's nice to just have those things and reserve them for myself and then every now and then post it so all my

mutuals and friends could be like oh my god did you draw that and i'm like yeah bitch i bet you didn't know i was sexy funny can draw can suck dick like a fucking beast suck a dent out of a car door babe i need to stop like i i make way too many sex jokes i'm just like i feel like girls should be more open about their sex life like i'm just here for the girl no next question um can you tell us your most oh my god i just realized whenever we've done a q a i've listened to it back and i start every question with um and i want to blow my brains out and i just realized i was doing how you're beautiful that's okay i say like every other word today though actually yes i'm not even joking i feel like you're lying because i saw my reflection on the way out and i was like no i literally saw him and i was like what is different and i was

like oh he's got a little stubble like he looks nice have you ever thought about growing in a mustache when i met him he had a mustache i did i had one does yours grow pretty thick or is it like a thinner mustache i it's like in between i feel like it's neither thin or very thick. Yeah, I'm trying to imagine you with a mustache right now. Do it and then post it online and watch the girls go crazy. Okay.

Can you tell us your most common intrusive thought? Kill myself, kill myself. Wait, calm or? Or common. Oh, oh yeah it's death no like all encompassing consuming like i need to watch a plane crash right now like i need terror terror terror terror terror nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare but you know what i think it is i've said this before but i think it was growing up so depressed and like still having like...

That's such a depressing answer. Yeah. Mine is also like if I'm holding a baby to like push it soft spot. Like I'm like, I need to fucking kill this baby. I need to rip it limb for limb. I guess my most intrusive thought is... Crash his car. If I'm next to someone who I have any sort of love for, I want to like pinch them or like punch their arm.

Yeah, and you has been like attempting to poke my butthole recently, but like out of love and like it hasn't quite got there yet. But like the day it happens will be like very magical for both of us. It's such a bad habit. Like if I'm close to someone this only happens on the stairs this sounds so bad like me saying this but like our friend group is like very like this like i don't know it sounds so bad but i love like going to touch someone's like butt cheeks or like yeah i mean i literally just will walk by and grab your ass it's like funny for us but if someone else did it to me i'd'd be like, literally, what are you doing?

You are attacking me. But it's just like, it's so funny. I think it ties back into us thinking like sexual stuff is really funny. But like, I love pinching like my friend's asses. And that's my intrusive thought. Like if somebody's ass is in my face, I'm like, I need to poke their fucking butt right now. That actually, I was going to say like one of my intrusive thoughts. This isn't me joking,

is, like, when I'm, like, talking to you, like, every time I'm talking to you, I, like, wanna grab your boobs and, like, be, like, honk, honk. Like, I wanna honk your boobs, like, so bad. I know, and he'll, like,

reach out to do it. I'm like, hello? Like, what are you doing? I literally just wanna go, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk. See, we talk like this, and then we're like, why do people think we fuck?

Why do people think we actually have sex and stuff and whatnot um all right next question tits or ass um i'm more of an ass man myself but like boobs and bonbons can like do it for yeah you could get down with some bonbons or bronson why why pick between those two which one bonbons or bronson for me yeah a bronson probably yeah i'd say bonbons i don't know that i care about bonbons like because i have boobs so i'm like why why do you need tits too if i woke up in a woman's body you would want g size tits i don't even know what the sizing scale is g is humongous abcd like big double d triple d efg where the cock destroyers there's actually a question that

says if you guys woke up in your opposite bodies what's the first thing that you would do go outside i would touch grass i would give his body a new experience and go the fuck outside shock his system drink some water i would fully just shock his system wake up have a green juice drink water i would uh shoot my arm up with heroin and take a video of me doing it and post it on my ig story and say like this is the new me but make it at least block my parents from seeing it everyone would see it yeah i'd ruin your life i mean actually i could spin that for me i could make that really good for me no like you would be addicted and it wouldn't be fun no but then i could spin it for

me and like be like guys i really need help and then start to go fund me but then use the money to buy shoes. Yeah, so I guess we would do good things for each other. I would shoot you up with heroin and you'd make me touch grass. Yeah, and I would, like, make you healthy. So it's perfect. And if I woke up in Kai's body. Madness and madness combination.

Combination. If I woke up in Kai's body, I would look in the mirror and say, I love you. Oh, thank you. Because I feel like you need to love yourself a little bit more. Yeah, if I woke up in your body, I would get rid of all the mirrors in my home. Oh, okay. And cover my iPhone with the privacy. Because they broke because you looked at them.

Oh, whoa. Next question. What do you imagine you would be doing if your paths had never crossed and you never met each other? I would legitimately be like addicted to drugs in a crazy way. Like that's not even a joke. Like I was going down such a dark path and I will probably never be ready to

talk about it do you think i had anything to do with your trajectory on that though no but if we just like didn't have aspirations to move in if we didn't even know each other like i would probably not be doing the internet and doing heavy drugs all the time um i i think i would probably still be here just like maybe not as happy because i don't think like if i didn't meet you like because i met christian than you than everybody um but like meeting you at that first show is kind of what roped me in because when i went there i felt so awkward and didn't speak to anybody so if i didn't meet you i probably wouldn't have done that it was literally love at first sight yeah like not even like not even joking it wasn't like we immediately clicked so well soulmates um except i thought i was gonna like marry you

like not actually i mean i was like obsessed with you people right like oh my god you taking that straight to your head like i want to there is not a single person who i'm friends with who at one point i wasn't like oh my god but for me for you with me it was like deeper though yeah i think i would still be in la but um and i honestly like it sounds annoying to say but i'd probably still be here with a podcast but like i i would probably be doing it alone with emma chamberlain with ember ember Chamberlain. Yeah. But yeah, I'd probably just be like Dolo doing the same thing and just like wanting to kill myself. Yeah. So my life wouldn't fucking change.

You know, I have this really, really unethical documentary that like if I created, I wouldn't be able to tie my name to. And I'm not going to give you the rundown because you will think I'm a fucking monster. But it kind of ties into like I would probably be documenting my life as a drug addict low key, which is a vibe and someone should do. Oh, my God. All right. That got pretty, pretty dark there at the end. And yeah, what was the experience like filming with Brat TV?

Oh, I'll take this um i don't think i've ever talked about this have i talked about this true i don't think so because you were recording a documentary yeah so if you don't know that's like not even a joke like the reason i did that brat series isn't because i was aspiring to be a fucking actress with brat TV. Although I would like to pursue acting maybe when I'm like 42. Because I do love being on camera. But right now it makes me want to kill myself.

You make me want to kill myself. Basically, I had always made fun of brat TV. I thought it was like really funny, like low quality production. Me and Josh, I got the offer to do it and then i like pulled josh aside i'm like i was like dude it'd be so funny to film behind the scenes and make like a mockumentary of like just like every famous person has like oh is this thing like like well like the camera always starts hearing they're like what's your name like what are you doing like what's the journey you're about to go on and that was kind of like i wanted to make a mockumentary style thing about like a young

influencer who was really convinced that they were about to fucking win an emmy off this really shitty show um and josh came with me every day to sit like i said i i said i would do it if they let me bring josh and i told them i was going to be vlogging for my youtube channel they said yes because they were like okay yeah you're going to promote the show um and josh came with me to set like almost every other day and we would just like film bits like the first day i was there my car got towed and like we did like a whole funny bit over it of like me being like just delusional taking like an uber black to the towing place um just whatever like shit like that like young blood was in the show and we got a really funny

clip of me going up to him and like my like character thought it was little zan and i kept calling him little zan and i was like little zan is here like holy fuck like whatever and it was Lil Xan and I kept calling him Lil Xan and I was like, Lil Xan is here. Holy fuck. Whatever. And it was just me being delusional. In the kissing scene, we have shots of me doing the kiss and then pushing the guy off of me. You kissed another guy? It was for work.

Don't be like that. Oh my God. It was for work. Don't be like that. This happens every time. I'm not fucking dealing with this shit anymore. I didn't say where I kissed him so it doesn't count Drew gets really jealous

oh but yeah me like running yeah I'm yours now that's all that matters it doesn't matter how many people I fucked and screwed and like made squirt. You're shaking. I saw this really delusional TikTok. Actually, no, keep going because we'll lose this.

Yeah, there was like a clip of like after I like I kissed him for the scene, like me pushing him off and like running to the bathroom and like throwing up and being like, dude, he's so disgusting. Like he's not even like he's not he doesn't even have an IMBD yet. I can't believe I just kissed that fucker. Like whatever, just stupid shit like that. But what happened is while I was filming, because I'm such an empath, um, I literally fell in love with like the production team there. Like I just was meeting all these people and like, it really had me thinking about, it actually was such a good experience for me because I'm so easily like oh you're corny you're

cringy whatever but meeting all those people I'm like all these people have aspirations to make something like quote-unquote better and this is kind of their like jumping platform or some of them just genuinely enjoy making like content like this that is for like younger audiences and they like enjoy being a part of the team and they love their job and I just got so close to everyone on set and it didn't help that I was going through like a breakup at the time. So I was like really emotionally charged and all these people kind of knew about it because I was just like in such a hard,

like in the middle, it was like such a tumultuous time actually when I think about it, but I literally loved the whole crew. I just like fell in love with everybody on the set and oh my God, you're such a jealous bastard. It was four years ago like get over it um but yeah and then i just never used any of the documentation that we got we never cut it into anything we never did anything with it never really watched the footage

yeah we never looked at the footage i wonder if josh still has it i think so josh do you still have is he here i think he left me talking Me talking to the bathroom, the empty bathroom. I think he still has it. Josh is really good with saving like everything he does for the most part. He has like actually the last like six years of us documented like in a very heavy way. And we were watching clips from like when we all first started filming together and it's crazy like how much we've all changed. Like you and Josh haven't really changed much like visually like appearance wise but like me and christian like look like crazy like i was still in my like twink arc i'm not a fucking twink someone say you're still no i'm not a fucking twink bitch

oh my god um i'm like an otter yeah that's that's what I was going to say. You're like, yeah. Aw, you're cute. You're a cute man. Thank you. But, yeah, we never did anything with it, and I just, like, let it rock, and I was like, I'm not going to, like, make fun of this thing that also I committed so much time to, and then that had me thinking, too, I'm like,

it's like as I grow older, I'm like, I can make fun of something as much as I want, but if I find enjoyment of it, then I am just being prideful and judgmental for no reason. And it's okay to be a part of things that I don't worship as top tier art. And yeah, that's my overly long answer. It was really fun, actually, being with Denzel, too. Like, me and Denzel becamezel became like good friends via that.

Okay. Oh my God. Hey. Another man? No, Denzel doesn't like like girls. Like. Oh, he's coming back. Okay.

I don't think you do. Next question. Next question. Okay. Next and last question. Okay. I'm trying to find another one. Find a juicy one, Kai. It's all up to you. If you don't find a good

one, you're going to destroy the vibe. Kai, if your middle name was Bella, it would be Kai Bella. Oh, yeah. That's good. Okay. I'm really struggling to find one. A lot of these say do it far. A lot of them say cream team or squirt squad.

You guys are crazy. But that's why I love you. Do a lot of them say Kai is beautiful? Because they're telling the truth. I would question that too. So if I was asked a question, I would be like, is Kai beautiful? And the answer would probably be like, beautiful is the wrong word yeah when i look in the mirror they more like they break jarring jarring no no no no kai knows he's

attractive you have to know you're an attractive man i genuinely do not think that like i really am i'm being i'm not just being humble when I say this. It's, I think it's a meme that people are like, you know what I mean? Like, no, people find you attractive because you're an attractive person. Yeah.

You're hot. Like, yeah, you're an attractive man. I'm not friends with ugly people. So. Hello. You're right there,

but I guess you're an employee. So me just frantically trying to find a question. You're right there. So you are friends with trying to find a question to change the subject. You're right there, so you are friends with ugly people. I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. Drew, when album drop? When's the album dropping? So I've been working on it for like six years now.

It is really my magnum opus. It's like potentially the greatest thing I've ever created oh your magnum opness it might never see the light of day honestly i don't think years are deserving for it's definitely ahead of its time and like if i dropped it now it would flop people wouldn't fuck with it but in 15 years they'd be like damn he was like really creating shit for the future like people just wouldn't understand it now so i'm like do i drop it now or do i wait 10 to 15 years and drop it then when it's like when the ears are ready that's what i'm struggling with like do i want to be cool now or do i want to be cool in the future i heard it and it's insane yeah like i can't enjoy music

anymore yeah because i'm always comparing everything to that yeah i mean i feel the same way i'm not even gonna be humble about it it really is an masterpiece um okay should we do drew psy up corner yeah i'll only give them three today um the inventor of celery be like damn i wish i could bite water with hair in it that's a good one um i'm so freaking excited for autism like beautiful orange and red leaves everywhere oh yes and pumpkin spice lattes oh my god the other day i had my first meal was a pumpkin spice latte and oysters and a cigarette so yeah and cigarettes so if you're wondering how my coochie taste it tastes like chernobyl

people died how my coochie tastes. It tastes like Chernobyl. People died. He only misses me because I could suck a dent out of a car door. Damn. For real. Send that to me, please. I hate cheap ass toilet paper.

I just fingered my asshole. Inya knows everything until i ask her what's that smell that was a good one y'all are eating discharge like oh we she got that wet no you are eating cream of mushroom. That's discharge, babe. Ooh-wee. And then this one is mid. No, I'm not even going to fucking say it. No, say it.

Say it. I need to know. It's stupid. Social media is only toxic to miserable people. I'm having a ball on this bitch. It's literally true like y'all need to just fucking relax a little bit we need tumblr to come back because we need that echo chamber of everyone just yelling at each other and it needs to be just there i'm trying to find this one that i have okay so here is oh wow. We can't put that in. He would be pissed. We can ask him.

We'll ask. Okay. I think maybe I read this, but I'll add to Psy Op Corner. I offered you five hits from my elf bar. He offered you 20, and that's why you chose him. But what you didn't know was that he had 500 puffs left, and I had only five. Whoa. That's crazy. What the hell? Makes. Whoa. That's crazy.

What the hell? Makes you think. That's actually really deep. All right. So. Should we get into media? Yeah. Okay.

I guess we have no choice. A barely lit path, one old trick's point, never. Never. Purr, purr, purr, purr, purr. Pa-da-pa-da-pa-da-pa. You know what I listened to finally, and I could listen to it all the way through, and I did cry, but it felt good, was... What's that fucking song? Texas song, Dead Brother, Driving Up and Down the Street.

Slow Dive? Yes, Slow Dive. Roving? Roving, yes. That song roving roving yes that song slow roving or yeah listen to that fucking song star roving yes also i saw a video of the dad of an interview of a dad of the dad oh my fucking god this song is so good um i saw a video of the lead in Slow Dive talking about how he has like a 12 year old daughter that like had no idea what music he made and just thought he was in an old lame band and that was it. But then his daughter started like realizing her friends have been listening to Slow Dive a little bit. And it was just like a cute moment for him and his daughter

because now she's like interested in his work and she always was like this shit's bullshit you're in a shitty band oh i wish my dad was in slow dive hello yeah so you're like on the podcast right now mom and i was curious if i should come back home to Texas in like a week or so. Oh, good God. No, Drew. Shut up. I can't talk right now. Oh.

Oh, my God. What the fuck? Oh, my fucking God. No, that's a fun game we play. I don't. Oh, are you about to cry? She seems serious. That's a fun.

No, it's like fun for us. Drew, do you want me to cut that? I know. Just like, should we stop? Do you need to take a break hello oh he's rebooting just gonna he'll he'll be back what is he's rebooting oh welcome back hey okay we're gonna get back into media guys sorry for that what happened what are you sorry for um nothing nothing happened just your mom called and said she loved you and then hung up on you but because she was so overpowered she's proud of you and really that's fucking weird she never

says that yeah i wish i remembered that fuck i wish i remember that um mine is long hot summer the style council and that's all i'm going to say. Turn style. I'm so hot. Grind Mode, Whole Problems, JT Money, and honestly, Spin Bout You by Drake. I'm so high right now, man. I'm so fucking high. All right, bye. Bye.

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