Emergency Intercom - Getting blocked by famous celebrities

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

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Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. hey guys welcome to this episode of emergency intercom we're gonna talk about traffic the weather pop culture your weather report for today is um put some sunscreen on. The UV is at a nine. Is it actually today?

There's a hole in the ozone layer. Okay, yes. Isn't nine very low? No, nine is high. Nine is lit. Ten is like kind of peak. Ten, go out. You're cooking.

Oh, it is nine. Oh, really? Yeah. I just intuitively knew that. I could just feel it. He checks the weather app so often. You didn't know that? I think you looked. is it is nine oh really yeah i just intuitively knew that i could just feel it i could just check the weather app so often you didn't know that i think you love it i actually did not see it but i do check the weather app all the time which is a perfect segue into what i wanted to talk about

was the super tornado outbreak that just happened in the midwest um oh there was like 20 like there were like five tornadoes on the ground at the same time from the same cell like across like nebraska oklahoma shit like y'all it's crazy how i just know these things i just can predict natural disasters and it may take a few take a few weeks to like actually come to fruition but i do say it and they do happen within three years within three years they have like look there's gonna be an earthquake in la soon how soon like it's earthquake weather baby days um yeah within three five years no i believe you because you have like female's intuition. Yes, period.

But don't say the F word. Sorry. We can bleep it. You sound like so gross when you do that. Female. You're such a female. Wow. It's giving female.

My female friends. You're my feline friend. Oh, period. Okay. Well, Drew has admitted to me multiple times that he likes to just say things are gonna happen so that people go like oh my god he knew yeah when i die people are gonna make a compilation video of everything that i ever predicted um and it's gonna go viral as fuck you're gonna be dead we're trending number one on twitter you know what that's true because you

i think like a couple years ago you you were like, oh, something big is going to happen. And then like two years later, I got- You walked into my life. Oh, shit. Wait a second. Yeah, do you get it? You know what's crazy?

Is that actually wasn't what I was talking about. I was talking about, I got nominated. I don't know if you guys saw this on TikTok. I got nominated to be in the Turkish Quandale Dingle movie. What what is that you don't know tiktok risk party okay no y'all are not bringing that here this is my safe space like that's where we like keep those out turkish quandel dingle i hate that it's the most real name yes it's blue tie kid and Twerkish Condell Dingle. You know what I got? Group Leader. What am I?

I don't think you got cast. Oh, wait, I did see that fucking video, actually. You saw it, right? Yes, I did. It was like a slideshow of a bunch of people, and you were cast as the group leader. Yeah. Find that video.

All right, I'll pull it up. Oh, my God. I don't understand that. Anything I've seen about that TikTok lore, I have skipped so quickly. Really? From the moment I saw it. And I remember when that video first got uploaded a few months ago, I almost posted on my story

and was like, this is my ideal nightmare. Or not ideal nightmare. It's like my peak nightmare is being in a room with a bunch of fucking high school kids screaming a song by like fucking What's His Nuts, Kanye West. Like that's my nightmare is to be in that room. And like it was a sweet fucking what's his nuts kanye west like that's my nightmare is to be in that room and then it became a thing but no what they're doing they're doing this again so like i guess it's becoming like a trend there's two like trends on tiktok right now it's to make like a random fucking video the most viral video of all time and like it becomes this like trend to like give it likes give it attention give it make it

your profile picture share it with all your friends like we did that with our yeah someone do that with this episode of emergency intercom please um and then so like one of them like they always compare like the bella porch like oh this is the most liked video of all time. And now it's like a raccoon dancing to this song. And it has like a billion. I thought that show was covered in chocolate. That was one of them. It got dethroned, actually.

It got dethroned by dogs in hoodies or something like that. And now it's a raccoon. Well, I know what I want my most liked video. They're filming a biopic yo this eats so it's kai that motherfucker jeremy allen yeah that dude okay for as red tomato boy um well i want this tiktok to be the most liked one before we move on what they're doing is they're doing the same thing to that coco girl who the fuck is coco she doesn't even

go to our school and i need to get i need to set it fucking straight y'all need to leave that fucking girl alone because i know a lot of the girls making fun of her for wanting to fit in and get a word in talking to the cute person like whatever it is like i know some of the people making fun of her just see a little bit of themselves inside of her and y'all need to flip the script like you always do because y'all were making fun of the tiktok riz party and then you made them like lore and famous y'all need to do the same fucking thing to coco because like no that girl does not deserve that coco yeah also i saw a good TikTok about it where it was like the tea of it all is this girl must be one of the more popular girls because why

doesn't she know that literally literally why doesn't she know Coco who the fuck is Coco I want this to be the way this made me laugh at the gym yesterday was like actually diabolical like i was on the treadmill and i was like crying on the treadmill and the guy next to me was running and kept looking over at me and i had to like stop the treadmill and like like bend over and pant from laughing so hard we work out on different floors and she sent it to me and i just got finished hitting my pr which is about like 400 pounds on the bench press and like the video like popped up in front of my face and i was pushing up on 480 and the laugh just like exerted it out and that was after a thousand push-ups but that wait you were just trying to casually say that you were like basically bench pressing 480.

Yeah. That's there's no way you can. Well, you've been SARMs maxing, right? Yeah. No. OK. Enough. Enough.

Enough. That's not what we're doing. Y'all are not saying all these weird fucking words to me. I don't want them in my brain. I don't want to be a part of that. I do a very good job of making sure my tiktok timeline is nothing but people getting abused by the british horses girls being cute and like music video snippet and then like gaming so i'm smacking and bone smashing what is that i don't like bone smashing sounds like fucking like that sounds like something a bridge like they take like fucking bone smashing bone smash off oh fucking tell me where i get it

they take a hammer and they break their fucking bones in their face to like rebuild it yeah some of you need self-love for real um well i love the british horses abusing tourists like it literally is so funny there's more yeah i've seen a bunch of them they get beat the fuck up by these hoes. And like, okay, I'm sorry, but why do you want a picture with the horse? Like, what is so special about the horse? That's my prediction. Horse girl couture.

I swear to God. We passed that. No, no, no. I know we passed that, but the trend cycle is going to revert it back. So we did like Catholic core. Like now it's going to be like horse girl couture. Horse girl couture is already in but not like not in the way that it was before like someone's like here's my trend forecast and they

say like the five most popular things on the planet oh yeah tanker i think um tank tops are gonna be in for this summer tank tops and flip flops no one in the summer is gonna be wearing like sweaters and jeans. Because it's hot, so you don't want to wear that. That's not the vibe. Sunscreen and deodorant. And banging Kai's mama from the back is going to be a big trend. But that might be falling out of trend.

It's already ran through. Yeah, it's ran through. Too many people have hit. That was big in 2019. That was one of out of trend. It's already ran through. Yeah, it's ran through. Like too many people have hit. That was big in 2019. Yeah. That was one of the bigger trends. Yeah, but I guess it's been five years now. So it's not scary at all.

The trend cycle. Has it been five years? I thought it was only one year since 2019. Dude, no. No, it's been five years. We're age maxing, y'all. Shut the fuck up. Y'all are age maxing.

I still have my youth how the hell are you gonna love somebody else if you can't even love yourself RuPaul no me no RuPaul says that like every episode start quote end quote Drew Phillips how the hell are you gonna love anybody else if you can't even love yourself

mamas how did she end it thanks for spilling she thanks for spilling after we have like an intimate time I'll be like thanks for spilling she thanks for after we have like an intimate time i'll be like thanks for spilling your tea my queen we're spilling um but back to the tornadoes thing i like was looking them up because i kept getting them on my timeline so i was like oh i want to like look up like what happened whatever comments, like the things people say about natural disasters in comments

will always crack me up. Because I'm like, first of all, not only did like actual people get devastated by this. So like, don't come in here with conspiracy theories, but like, I'm sorry, they actually cracked me up. This one, like I was in bed, like giggling my ass off. They're firing the tornado machines.

Someone said, this is the third tornado video I see in a different location. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. What is happening? You mean, like, weather patterns? Like, that has happened in the Midwest every single year for the last thousand years? Yeah, so the first top reply was like, you mean springtime in the Midwest? Like, year for the last thousand years the first time i was like you mean springtime in the midwest like what are you talking about ever heard of tornado alley oh oh um but yeah those kind of like people are like the world is oh what's happening to the world

like i love when people start saying that on like natural disasters and just like nature being nature and unpredictable and like ramping up obviously like part of it is like not this necessarily but there are other things that have been happening that are just global warming but even that i'm like the answer is right there like literally all you have to do is google it but people get in comments and they're like wait a second also we usually don't have rain why is it raining what's happening on top of all of that like we do live in a more like like people film things more often and not only that but they post things to the internet because like every tornado since like 2012 has been filmed by

literally everyone but they just didn't have a place to upload it and tiktok can make every fucking thing go viral with that said the tornado footage from these last couple outbreaks has been the greatest footage of tornadoes i've ever seen like i'm a connoisseur y'all can go back and look i fucking love tornadoes arena was claim like to claim like being like a tornado officer? You're like, y'all go back. I get to claim it. Clock my teeth. I get to claim it.

I get to claim it. Like my hometown was ravaged by one. Like ever since then, I was just like obsessed. And I've been saying one thing for so long before. Whatever. I'm not even going to get into it. No one can trust and believe no one's going to take your tornado wow it's no one in there right today it's just the drew is so fucking stupid day no absolutely not um me and kai found love get me water get me water okay

yeah pick it up after get me water now and that's before gratuity so get the water oh my god you just threw money at him yeah bitch let me have that he's gonna get me my water let me have that thank you what were you saying drew you were about to say something crazy give me my um i was saying that you were about to say something crazy me and kai fell in love the other day we had like a real moment it was crazy what we were we were on set for the week can we talk about it not yet no we can't but we can say that we were on set we We were on set for Challengers 2 with BK and Drew. Yes. We were on set for helping Girthmaster film his new video.

Yeah. Just kidding. We weren't. We weren't. We weren't. But we were on set and I turned and I looked at Drew and we locked eyes and he went, did we just fall in love for a second? And I was like, yes, we did. It was a second and i was like yes we did it was and

it was so real it was very raw it was also like hour 12 of the shoot and we were just dissociating into each other's eyes it was a magical moment truly did y'all hook up at the bathroom no okay then it's not real love like wouldn't let him hit in a million years drew won't let me touch him he lets me touch him i know and it fucking pisses me off yeah he begs he's like please come into my bed please come and lay in my bed i think i just don't want it enough you know i think that's the problem it's like i need to want it more drew wants to what is it uh you know whiplash the like instructor that's like trying to bring out the best yeah that's so drew is my instructor and i'm the drummer

and he wants to like and he has bloody hands and yeah all that bbl how the fuck did they pitch that movie so like i want to be a drummer and this guy's like really about it and like he's crazy i was actually thinking about the last time i watched whiplash which i i really like it is that shitty drumming movie okay oh like Oh, wow. Like that horrible drumming movie. It's actually like held to high regard, actually. And it's terrible. Ye olde and fucking boring as fuck. Dude, it's good.

I liked it. Oh, I'm glad y'all liked it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, what's your favorite movie? Yeah, what's your favorite movie? Minions Part 2. I don't even think it's called Part 2.

Like, it would be called Part 2. Minions't even think it's called part two. Like it would be called part two. Minions go to space. Oh, this has nothing to do with tornadoes. I used to be obsessed with water parks. And last night I was cracking up because I saw like one of those GoPro videos of somebody going to like the new water slides. And it was like, you can pick the theme of this water slide. And like they picked jungle. And it was like all these really shitty projections of like a tiger the snake bite yeah

the snake bite and everything and you could see the corners of the projector because it like just screen and it just looked like shit um and i used to be so obsessed i don't know if it was because growing up in florida there was uh water rapids i think it's called it's like rapids water park it's like Rapids water park. It's like a huge water park that everybody wants to go to. And like in school, when they would give you those like coupon sheets, there would always be a big water Rapids one, which like, bitch, my family is broke as fuck. Like the $20 off is not going to get us to drive like two hours out. We need a hotel, like stop playing with me me but i think i went like once or twice in my lifetime and first of all water parks are fucking terrifying like they're nasty they are so like scary to get on a water ride especially because as a kid i was so obsessed

with them i would look up videos and i would always find videos of people dying on them like not oh my god that one there's that specific one where they're in that raft and it's like the hills and he got fucking decapitated like what so every time i'm getting on a water slide it's not a video it's not a video of it but they like talk about the incident so every time i would like go to a water park that's all i could think about i was like i would be the one to die on this fucking slide right now so that's all that would play in my mind and then also the older i get the more i just realized there was piss and shit and poop in the fucking water. And every time I was in the water, all I could think about was that.

But in Miami, it was such a big thing to go to water parks. So I was at them all the fucking time in the amounts of times that slides got shut down because some little kid shit himself on the fucking slide. Sorry, guys. That was like water parks should be illegal. And that's my take on it. Like it's literally biohazard as fuck like it is so crazy it's just piss and poop and shit i will say though there's no better there's no more euphoric feeling than like feeling zero gravity having your belly out and like flying down a warm water slide and it's literally just urine the warm water

is just shooting up your landing into your mouth like fully making sure you get dementia when you're older because of all the bacteria going to your brain yeah the wave pool amoebas go crazy i loved the wind pool the way you said that the so sad the wave pulled me the wave pulled at me they went crazy the wave pulled was so scary I always felt like I was gonna drown and I was not a good swimmer

and I would always just sneak in and try to go all the way back to the wall because I wanted the strongest wave and I would always almost drown and always have to get saved by a lifeguard and they would always be mad at me and I would always try to sneak back in have seen the machines that like make the waves isn't it just like the huge things that are so scary bro like imagine getting sucked into that that's what i'm saying i'm sure they a bunch of people have that's the tea but have y'all seen that one girl

the tea they're just not telling i know literally a conspiracy they put that's what they put in those fucking burgers there as a squished kids they like and they get squished by the fucking wave machine the more and more burgers the water parks come out with the more and more kids go missing i've been noticing that i've literally been noticing that it's like minced meat um but y'all seen that one girl since you were talking about like amoebas and scabies and shit that like she went she has Munchausen syndrome, not Munchausen by proxy. Oh, you were talking about it. Actually, never mind. I'm not going to talk about it.

And that's that. OK, well, this is the real tea. I wanted to talk about how Enya and Addison Rae quite literally stole my twin sister's swag. And it's crazy. And it's, like, actually not even funny. And I know Madeline's, like, probably held off and did by it. Girl, what the fuck are you talking about? And just, like, not to air your shit out like this, but hold on. Wait, let me find the group chat.

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Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. So you completely stole her swag. Girl, that's been a swag since the dawn of time and she created it my first picture of me with my braces off is literally a photo like that because i was like me and my twin with straight teeth and that's literally an id post i have archived i just i don't know i just think you like were just inspired. And it's okay to be inspired. I mean, I'll admit when I'm inspired, but I think you and your sister have the DNA of the killers. Yeah, I'm just playing.

But yeah, no, we are inspired by her. I have a whole... What if you found out I had a whole IG dedicated to reposting Madeline's stuff? I mean, we literally did do that. Oh, yeah. Dude, y'all, this is the most wicked shit living here and like when you were on the phone with her like you found like recordings of like me recording the screen when you're on facetime with her and it was like just really like weird

sinister like video dude some like uh that would be actually insane But some one of the most wicked like evil shit we've ever done is me, Jake, Dana and Inya had made a fake fan account for my sister, made a fake fan account for my sister and then just acted like a crazy stalker person. Madeline caught on immediately. So then it became about like tricking the public into believing that we were like a crazy stalker person uh madeline caught on immediately so then it became about like tricking the public into believing that we were like a crazy fan and like we were just saying the most out-of-pocket shit the most wild shit we were martha coded as fuck we were literally martha coded like we would we would talk about taco bell literally all the time like that was

that was our favorite fucking thing oh yeah chipotle it was chipotle yeah we would just like ran and like for four years after like madeline like caught on we would just still tweet on that account just like being like i want a chipotle bowl i don't want to say it out loud but i remember it oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so basically the climax, like, okay, so we would, like, tweet at Madeline and be, like, I love you so much. Can we please go to Jabotlet together? And, like, we would just, like. And we would just, like, we would literally, like, eat Steven alive. We would be, like, that nasty fucking boyfriend of yours.

He needs to fucking go. Like, just saying, like, crazy go like just saying like crazy literally cosplaying a crazy fan like for fun we were so bored and then we need to do that shit again that's the most i felt alive when they when madeline caught on and said she's calling the police and that they have her ip address and that the police are coming i was horrified i was like no no no no no and it was steven's mom that called steven's mom was like yeah like we're really freaked out over here and she already knew at the time whatever crazy so funny but then once everybody was in on it there were like fans of madeline and steven who were like we need to get

this account gone like she's so weird because we would be like omg like we snuck into madeline's room i have her sock and like we took a picture of one of her socks and we were like i'm gonna cherish this forever i'm gonna wear it right now and then like we would like put it on my foot and tweet a picture of it and be like i love her socks they're so warm and then we like one night um it this was like the climax of it all like this is like what the whole account was leading up to was when we were at this certain press play show and um like madeline and steven are like aware of it now and like basically we orchestrated this whole thing where we were like live tweeting it and the tweets were like for an account with like 300

followers were going like semi-viral and people were like what the is this person talking about and was it was we were just basically saying we were going to sneak into madeline's room and take pictures of her and we did we went into madeline's room set up a camera and it was me and inya in one bed and madeline and steven in the other bed and like we had it set up where it took a picture of us and then we uploaded it and then we were running and sprinting down the hallway and taking pictures as we're running away and people were freaking out and the tour manager oh my god i heard that move like i had to run out of there and like live tweeting like sneaking into the room and people fully were like what the fuck like this is crazy and like our tour manager at the time was like um low-key scared as fuck but like also he didn't do anything about it

like he was like do y'all know about this and And we were like, yes, we're so freaked out. And he's like, okay. Then they can just move on. But like, whatever. But yeah, we went hard as fuck with. Oh, I miss her. Yeah. And I also had a Caitlin Bennett Stan account. I moved on from Madeline and I moved on to Caitlin Bennett. But that's a story for another time

that one's so good i'm saving it for patreon oh sorry sorry my favorite like what i will say is my favorite tweet that you did is when you were like i'm seeing codes in the sky i'm seeing codes in the sky and like i had like a full-fledged like story arc like he's doing it all by himself like i went into his room one day and he went through this account he had been tweeting for like months no years it was random girl who was like obsessed with caitlyn bennett three years when i showed or two years when i showed you and it went on for another year after that and i did get caitlyn bennett noticed and i did join group chats with caitlyn bennett noticed and i did join group chats with

caitlin bennett fan accounts and i was a sleeper cell i would go in there and spread like misinformation about caitlin and they'd be like wait what like this is crazy um but that era of my life is over and i will not apologize for anything and you were um you were cosplaying a girl who was like in love with caitlin yeah yeah but she didn't know it but that that's as much as you get that's as much as you get he built character i did delete it um because i don't know why i wish i kept it because like but there was a moment afterwards where i was like oh this is like actually deranged crazy person behavior and then now like it's that two years like crazy bitches being like it's not that Yeah, it's not that crazy to pseudo stalk someone.

But like post, like there's that like timeline where it's like, okay, you're in the moment. Two years from now, you'll look back at what you're doing and you'll be like, dude, that is so fucking cringy. And then two years after that, you look back and you're like, damn, that was fucking lit. Like I was cool as fuck. I was in that like two years after stage where I was like, why the fuck was I doing that um and now four years later i'm like gag like that was so fire gag um well i decided that i don't understand pearls like they don't make sense to me like do they keep the clams alive i've seen some where they do keep the clams alive. Does that not hurt so fucking bad? Prying their fucking mouth open and sticking sharp-ass utensils.

Imagine someone literally pulling your jaw open, digging around in your brain with a scalpel, and pulling out your penile glam. It's like the equivalent of somebody taking out... Okay, first of all, pearls are just clam tonsil stones. Let's talk about that. Pearls are literally just fancy tonsil stones let's talk about that like pearls are literally just fancy tonsil stones i'm talking about clam yeah clam chowder tuna box vagina

y'all we're talking about clams now okay yeah okay but they're just no we're leaving that in we're leaving it um they're just fancy tonsil stones that's first of all second of all that shit looks like it fucking hurts like leave them alone bro like i was watching a video of somebody doing it to a live clam and then just like fucking ripping him open and throwing it out and like tossing it hard as fuck back into a bucket i was like damn like put some respect on his name you just took all his fucking life's work out of his mouth they do um donate the like innards to um like farms and shit in local areas which is kind of a vibe so it turns them into pig slop those are the ones they kill but did you know that they can literally like scar certain spots on the oyster and like when you see like oyster

shaped in hearts you're like, that's fucking fake. It's an oyster or a clam. I think it's a clam. But they can score certain spots on the clam in the shape that they want them to grow. And they can chip certain places. And it will literally grow into a heart.

So when you see heart-shaped pearls or star-shaped pearls, they were naturally grown. But then they also seed them where they like put like a grain of sand or something in there and that's like where the calcium deposits because like it is essentially a tonsil stone it's like their body's trying to like get that out like expel it and filter it out but um yeah i was watching a fucking video of someone like seeding and scarring clams. And I was like, what the fuck? This is so pretty that like they are gorgeous.

Who was the first bitch scratching up on a clam? They were probably eating it. They were probably like, ooh. They were probably eating that clam, spreading it open. Fishy odor. Stinky. What is like, seriously seriously what is wrong with you i don't know anymore help i'm not gonna get you help wait oh my god wait i'm in like a

mode right now where i could probably cry on command okay then do it no i did make tears in my eyes that they didn't fall be like seen i need menthol you need a menthol stick wait i couldn't no i lost it i wanted to talk about rainy what were you gonna say rainy rodriguez yes i have her written down because like that is another arc of my life that was when you were like faking like you were obsessed with her no it was like me and her were in a relationship um but okay getting a block by rainy rodriguez in the moment felt so special like I was like oh she noticed me like what the fuck like she blocked me this is so funny granted what she blocked me over was it was a picture of me wearing i'm he's and her shirt or wearing a shirt that

said i'm hims or something like that and i tweeted like i edited it to say like i'm he's i'm hers or whatever um i posted like it was us together and she just blocked me immediately. And I was like, okay, if that's grounds for blocking, we got to find. Actually, I'm going to look it up and see if I can find it. That is so funny. But I can't find the fucking video. I can't find the picture. Sorry for the break, y'all.

But it's somewhere out there in the internet. Etherscape. I saw a clip from like OG YouTube. I've been getting a lot of those on my tiktok timeline right now of like old youtube like bethany moda like era youtube and the shit we were watching to pass the time was actually fucking we can't make fun of the kids right now for watching brain rot because we were like skibbity is like uh oh my girl ermie gird like it's literally like there's oh there will always be brain rot for children to consume the one i was watching is this one i'm gonna show it to you and i wonder if it's gonna make you crack up the way it made me crack up because i

was like girl what the fuck is happening like i never watched this video when i was younger but i like i could have seen myself watching it also this what oh that looks fun is i know and if it's actually a workout like i want to do it probably fucks your abs up and gives you big butt the perfect eye that will look a little bit like this wait what is she teaching you how to be like candid at a flirt oh my god to flirt. She's showing you how to eye bat. Girl, she fucking sucks. She flops. Wait.

Lake Hansi. Why are you like... Ewww! That was horrible. Oh my god. Also, you looked like you had something in your eye. You were like this. Can I do it?

An eye bat? No. No, why are you like... Yes. Wait, hold on. Get in front of me. Oh my god. Give me a second, guys. Oh, he has to crawl under the table. He has to crawl under the dining room table

Oh, did you hear my stomach girl you're hungry No, but the shit everywhere cuz guys making me uncomfortable Yeah, I like what how did you even learn you could do that you shouldn't have been doing wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Can I come back? Okay now go back Why are you crawling like that? It's a low table. I have to.

Uh, low table fade. Dude, my camera's all fucking greasy and nasty. Because you're a greasy monster. Sorry, I call it how it is. That's my new vibe. That's my trend forecast. It's calling it how it is that's my new vibe that's my trend forecast okay what is going on your camera's switching through like lenses that was actually what's going on what you know what i watched on youtube um i know i i don't even fucking know what i watched on youtube when you were younger i just watched family vlogs because my family was arguing and

fighting so much what's that skeleton girl she liked the baby doll she had the room the blonde girl no she was yeah Texas yeah yeah yeah I don't remember her name um she fucking like Grimmy or something like that Grimy Grims no Greasy Grove Grimsley I don't fucking know i know what you're talking about and i bet y'all know who we're talking about yeah leave it in the comments she was like loud big blue eyes yeah she had the scary fucking blue eyes who was it do you know graveyard graveyard girl yeah i watched her i watched that girl who's really good at SFX makeup. Yeah. She was kind. She did the ginger girl. She is so pretty.

When she did the Raven or is that the X-Men girl, the blue one? I want to see it. She fucking tore that shit up. I loved her. I remember watching her videos in seventh grade science class and it was post sex ed. and then someone stole a little race car and our teacher had a fucking meltdown conniption fit she freaked the fuck out bro have i told y'all about like this is the like most evil thing i did but granted i was literally like 12 and i was just an evil 12 year old oh when i was 12 i knew better oh okay when i was 12 i knew better oh okay when i was 12 i knew oh you must think

you know the world then yeah um well when i was 12 i had no comprehension of like what ocd was and how like serious it was for some people and i had a science teacher who was so fucking mean to me because i sucked at science and she just thought i was really stupid and she her like she was faking it yeah that's how i feel ocd is not real oh that's not what i meant it's not real okay just like depression and anxiety are fucking phony too oh just eat a fucking red steak and drink a glass of water and fix your fucking gut health tired um but she her her like things were she didn't want she hated composition notebooks like they really freaked her out so you weren't allowed to come into that classroom with like composition notebooks i loved composition books like with the the cover i hated i liked the ringed

ones so like she was with me on that. But she also hated cats. Like cats really freaked her out. And like she didn't like pictures of cats. She didn't like talking about cats. Like they really freaked her out for some reason. You drawing a picture of a cat in a composition. No, listen. One time she gave me detention and I got so fucking mad because she called my parents

and said that I was talking during class. So I took a composition notebook from my fucking house. I cut out a bunch of pictures of cats. And I like filled the book with pictures of cats that covered the notebook. And I was walking past the room. And I literally like bent over and like shot it under the door and ran down the stairs. And I literally heard her go, what? What?

What? And like freaking out in the room. And then she was like asking all the classes. She was like, who? Like, who put that in here? And then I just didn't look her in the eyes. I was was like asking all the classes she was like who like who put that in here and then i just didn't look her in the eyes i was like it wasn't me wasn't me and i didn't even tell any of my friends about it too because i was like i'm not getting caught for that i already got detention like three times from this bitch i'm not doing it again the reason she gave me

detention is because i got a 15 on a quiz and she called it out trying to like make me feel stupid in front of the class and i literally looked at her and i was like i don't care i guessed everything so a 15 is actually really good for like and i was like i didn't even read the question so if you think about it at 15 is actually so good and then she was like you think that's funny to not take this class seriously and i was like yeah yeah and then she gave me the attention she's up but i ate her ass up i was like bitch i don't give a fuck about a 50 like what you think i give a fuck how deers are born like i just want to look at them i don't give a fuck about what they do when the clouds rain when

their sun shine out i agree with that that's what my grandma told me abuela abuela i don't know my grandma's name bro it's literally just abuela that her name is abuela that's it like i don't know my grandma's name, bro. It's literally just Abuela. Her name is Abuela. That's it. Like, I don't know. I just don't think you need to know certain people's names. And your grandma is one of those people. Literally. Actually, I asked her if she had pictures of herself when she was younger. And she was like, no.

And she was like, I didn't have a picture of myself until I was like, maybe 56. And I was like, literally, what the fuck are you talking about? That's lit. Huh? Do y'all know what nugget couches are no do you know what they are no okay so they're these like really popular kids toy right now it's like a modular sofa for children right they're like foam lining it's ikea furniture collector no it literally is and people like collect the fuck out of the colorways it's ikea furniture collector no it literally is and people like collect the fuck out of the colorways it's literally like supreme for like mothers and fathers and they collect them

for their children and you can big they're really sick actually you can build like really big forts out of them and like you can they're just like fun toys for like nourishment for children like they like become super mobile and like you can fall on them and it won't hurt and they're kind of a fucking vibe well um there's some dark fucking lore behind nugget couches so people were like looking in these mommy groups and someone got suggested this um nugget couches after dark and basically are there adults fucking on the they make literal sex swings and like sex toys and like sex beds out of these nugget couches and they never thought to think like oh wait my kids play on these and now we do s at night with them and it became like this huge fucking thing on tiktok and everybody was eating these parents up

and there were people like there was like two sides they were like defending it and then there were families like oh like i just bought it for me and my wife like we just i just bought it for me and my husband our kids don't even touch it there were videos of their kids playing on it so they were literally lying but like madeline and steven just got one they had no idea about the nugget lore so i put them on and they posted an unboxing of it and all of the comments were like i don't think they know about the lore of the nugget couch and uh it was just cracking me the fuck up stop oh also like can y'all keep some shit to your fucking self like i don't want to know where you're fucking in your fucking house like damn like me and inya in his bed on

the couch kitchen counter on this chair and y'all sat in it and that's the craziest thing if y'all came to the la show y'all sat in this chair where we did s and it was crazy and car joined and that's why it's so dirty i joined i joined for a second i was only involved for like cleaning up. Yeah, I was hosing it down. What was that bit? The tarp. My job was to put down the tarp. Yeah. Guys, the tarp guy for me and Drew. And I don't mind it.

I actually like it. He loves it. I like doing acts of service. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your thing. That's always your thing. Speaking of acts of service, challengers a we haven't seen it i haven't seen it yet but i wanted to kind of rehash the conversation we

were having because we didn't have it for the public that trailer was ass doodoo kaka garbage shit and when zendaya was in that interview being like it's just like a movie you have to see three times i was like bitch you're lucky if i go once because that shit looks fucking horrible it looks horrible terrible terrible um and then everybody that i've spoken to except for two people were like that was one of the best movies i've ever seen i know i like i really was because even when con Conan was here and he was like, oh, I'm going to go to a screening for it. I was like, I don't think that movie is going to be good because the trailer was so fucking ass. Stinky.

It was rank. It was horrible. But I always held out a little bit of faith because Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross would not say yes to a shitty movie. Also, I have liked all of Luca's movies. Yeah, exactly. So I was just like, there's probably something here, but everybody saw it. Kai saw it, was fucking raving boots about it.

I was like live texting you. Yeah, Kai was live texting me in the theater. It was a horny fucking movie. Okay, well, it's a special movie. Remember when Jamesles tweeted some shit about it and then everybody from finn and everybody from the cast was like why the fuck are you get off your fucking phone loser but yeah um that brings me to my next point trent resner and atticus ross are the greatest of all time period we just wanted to insert something really really quick um we didn't

see challengers before we spoke on it and just like a book don't judge it by the trailer because that shit was fucking lit y'all yeah that movie was so good and my walk away because i had such big things to say about the trailer, is I think the trailer was done purposefully with the intent to get the average person to watch it and be like, cool, sport movie. Wrong. Gay agenda. Gay.

Bisexual agenda. I'm about to walk away from that movie like, this is gay. This is gay. They were brothers fighting over a girl. And they were brothers. Okay, I need all three of them right now right now it was so good also the score of the movie was so good the movie itself was so good everybody ate that fucking roll up like every person who was acting. And you know it's good because like we popped in here the day before the episode goes live to set the record straight. Because like that was one of the better movies I've seen.

Also, I feel like we're both pieces of shit in a way. Like if we already think something's going to be bad, we have a hard time getting our opinion changed. Because like especially because some of the people who were like, no, it's so good. I was like, you would think something's gonna be bad we have a hard time getting our opinion changed because like especially because some of the people who were like no it's so good I was like you would think it's good um so I went in being like there's no way this movie's gonna change me I was like my jaw was

dropped and I cried yeah we were we were gooped and gagged me and Nini had to go to the restaurant or the restroom at some point and I had to adjust my boner before getting oh my god it was good go watch it are you okay no i literally

yeah i'm fine okay that was fucking scary the neural link like shifted i know like they were like popping fell down your spine literally popping inside of my brain yeah it's literally slipping down your spine like zapping every like memory um but yeah i do want to watch the movie now because everybody says it's good and i thought it was gonna be bad i just remembered also when i saw bones and all i

have like audio messages i think on my other phone me and orion were watching it and we were cracking the fuck up at like is that a movie about penises all of the penises bones and all oh okay i got it should we talk about clam oh about y'all need to fucking stop y'all are disgusting wait why were you laughing during bones and all um if y'all haven't seen bones and all it's been three years yeah it's not my fault um but no the scene where like they're like eating each other me and aaron were crying because we were like oh my god this is like so sweet but we were cracking the fuck up and like the camera just panning away it's like no yeah like them like off camera and like you're supposed to just insinuate

that like she's eating him and we were cracking up because i was like it was that scene and then there was like another scene that was just making me laugh so hard but i really do like that movie that movie is like kitschy like campy to me that's like a fun movie to love is to die you need to read a book soon like soon soon love is to die because you give yourself to another person and that person that you were before is gone okay um i was talking to somebody the other day who had a seat call me by your name and it actually like floored me i was like how have you not seen that movie that literally you're actually you might just be a little homophobic if you haven't seen that movie like at this point come on i went to fucking go see broke that mountain in the theater because

i thought it was a western and it was just two dudes fucking the whole time i actually still haven't seen broke back mountain i think that's the only gay movie i haven't seen that the outcry and the backlash that that movie received in its peak was that absolutely insane like i understand because we just weren't there culturally yet and we weren't ready for it and that was a very big stepping stone but that movie is good as fuck and that is not a hot take at all but like that's a good fucking movie i like i i've seen literally every other movie that is gay. Carol. You know, the movie that sounds like show me to be please, Rachel.

And it was like when somebody mentions like you in 2020, a homoerotic movie like about like friends. And it was like, show it to me. Show me to be rachel please yo and you was logged into my hbo account and she would use the list feature in literally every single movie on the list feature was like lgbt like lesbian love like girl on girl like it was every single one like it was crazy and she's a vibe and she's a vibe um well i really want to re-watch portrait of a lady that was that movie was horrifyingly sad it's so good all me you and orion just sobbing together after watching that i know i think i was supposed to go to miami the next day and i stayed up extra late to like watch it and i was throbbing but i want to watch it again the number the number the number on the

painting the number the number means so much i'm literally kai have you seen it i haven't but i'm writing it down right now of course i'm adding it to my list it's so freaking good bro it is absolute yearning to the max it's yearning maximalism once i finish reading um my year of rest and relaxation i'll watch this i'll ever finish that book mara um jargos lanthimos my year in rest and relaxation is that real yeah yeah it's real and we got some insider tea yesterday that i will not be sharing um but like from what it went from to what it is now i'm kind of sad but it'll still be good yeah i'm like like i feel like adapting books into movies is really hard especially when the book is like loved like when it's a random ass book no bitch has heard of it's like per like do dune who gives

a fuck are you saying no one heard of dune but like who the fuck like in our life in our circle has read through dune that's what i mean it's like i've never met somebody in the i'm like oh yeah i'm reading this right now and they're like you i just read dune like i just finished dune i've never met a human who's finished dune the book hell no isn't there like 20 books yeah and they're each a million pages yeah there's like a hundred books and then the son after the original writer died like wrote like 13 that got included for some reason and they're fucking horrible their ass their ass there's like four good books that's why i don't believe in family legacy like just because somebody in your family did some good shit does not need

like mean you need to pick it up like you don't need to pick it up like leave it the fuck alone yeah y'all want to see the books that i ordered last night or yesterday because when i was driving home after the gym i was like horrifyingly sad and i was like oh my god no i need to fix this i need to fix this i need to get like books i need this i need to read i need to like feel did you get happy books i don't think i've ever read a happy book in my goddamn life i've never read a book that made me go wow life is beautiful it's like actually no that's a lie some of them are really beautiful but it's like by somebody who like died from like i did not get happy books what books i got the idiot i got the metamorphosis i got no longer human and then i got type the tibetan book of the dead but the only reason

i got this one one was because also i mean it's super sick like i'm pretty sure it's about like reincarnation and shit and i need that i need that but also it's the book in enter the void and i found one with the exact same cover for 43 when i was looking for it like for the past like five years they were like 800 for like this cover of the past like five years, they were like $800 for like this cover of the book. So I am so excited. That's like when I really wanted my Fran Lebowitz first editions. And then like a month I was looking at them and they were like $50. And I was like, dude, I don't want to spend $50. And then it got republished into like the big book of all her books. And then all of the first editions were like 500 and then finally they went back down and i bought them and then i realized like i love franley woods

she's so interesting and she's really funny to me but i don't think i like her writing style like but she eats down like i love franley woods not that i even have to say that because that bitch doesn't fucking have a phone so she's not gonna fucking see this but i love fran but she's not my bae my bae is cookie mueller that's my bae andrew phillips you've you've seemed loose and like loose like for the streets kind of so you're not my bae right now well i uh figured out my sexuality, guys. What is it? Isn't this exciting? It's sapiosexual. Sapiosexual? Yeah, I'm sapiosexual. I'm attracted to intellect.

Don't you have to have that? You're so attracted to me. Don't you have to have that to recognize it in other people, though? No, you don't need it. You shouldn't be saying that publicly. Why? It's not cool. What's not cool?

Never mind, man. Okay. You're only supposed to like girls. Yeah, I guess you're right. At least that's what I've heard. Yeah, that's the rule. That's just kind of what I've heard through the grapevine. It's like boys are supposed to like girls and girls like boys.

Oh, wait. We know that, though though adam and steve adam and eve more like adam steve and eve polyamory babe oh see it landed now i did it in josiah's video and josiah and inyo were like girl shut the fuck up because that was after he said a bunch of weird like random things like we put the camera in his hand for one second and he just started like spitting at us and we were like where is all of this coming from like we haven't said anything to you but you me and josie are literally adam even steve yeah literally you're steve though yeah oh for sure and what's his name no i'm adam josiah is steep i guess yeah because that's our side how yeah i'm god i'm god i'm the omnipresent no you're the fucking rib that was taken out of whatever the rib i'm the snake yeah yeah you're the apple because i'm sweet if we take a bite

out of you it would be sweet but it would also be like you're the sin the last thing i want to talk about is the blue man group yes yes the fuck literally what the fuck y'all have y'all like have y'all ever like actually like like looked into that like dude that that group is literally the exact definition of like what goes through a man's head when he starts losing his hair and he doesn't have self-acceptance like that is the perfect they're all in bald caps they're all in bald wait i thought they were actually and they're painted blue in like oil paint and then they play like paint drums like the most insane shit ever

and there's not just one group of them. They like, there's like four. It's like a cult. There's like 40 of them. Then there's like 10 separate blue man groups and they have like shows all across the world. Yeah, there's Kevin Abstract. There's Matt Champion. There's Joba. This is the craziest blue man group.

Did you hear that in you? What happened? I was like, there's Kevin Abstract. There's Matt Champion. Joba. is the craziest Blue Man Group this is the craziest I hate this

this is the worst this is an edit the cutaway to the reaction say dead ass thoughts Spray, glow paint everywhere. This is an edit. This is a blue manger. The cutaway to the reaction. Say dead ass thought. I hate that like. Like, okay, first of all, this is my bone to pick. And this is the last thing I'll say in the episode. They need to go back to crazy editing in RuPaul's Drag Race.

They used to literally destroy the girls on that fucking show. And the editing would literally like shift your like view of them well yeah i would like change your perspective of the whole show it's all about perspective he has said that eight times this week i'm not kidding it actually might be all about perspective like how are you shocked every time you say it i just came up with that no like you would be shocked too if you came up with something so fucking great i well i see i come up with great things so often that i'm not shocked by anymore i'm actually i've become so jaded by name one great thing name one great thing in general that you came up with um love you mean yeah that was

you i taught you guys love that was wait literally us in the uh big brother what was the kevin abstract thing baby brother peach the video me talking in the front of the peach i don't fucking know is it baby boy i don't know oh where you're like baby talking about how you love each other that was so sweet i actually only saw that a year ago on tiktok oh they post reposted it no i think like a fan posted it oh it is peach i think baby boy baby boy i don't fucking know um yeah you did show me platonic love to love you love my queen my beautiful queen thank you wait you're the best boyfriend i've ever had fuck i can't do it i can't flirt that's okay i just have aura everyone's just attracted to my

aura i'm dead serious i wonder how many people have been attracted to you and talked to him and like like every literally every single person ever i'm not kidding um but they need to go back to shady editing in rupaul's drag race and that's it and like also stop being amazed by things like the detox thing because that is not or start being amazed by that shit because i'm tired of like we need trashy broke queens i'm sorry we don't need like these put together $60,000 fucking loan budget queens. Like no, no, no, no, no. Loan budget queen. We need to go back to Blue Man Group.

I'm sorry. Because I saw a video of them in San Antonio, Texas on this fucking raft that they built. Pissed me the fuck off. Like I literally. Also, I saw another clip of them. I went on a deep dive, y'all. It was like I and it was like. I would love speak to them i would love to talk to them but i think they are you i i feel like you would also find that they're like the most like boring guys ever that's

what i'm saying like they definitely are like yeah like i take my kids to school in the morning and then i answer some emails and then i clean the house like i feel like they don't do much they definitely also have okay they have to have side jobs there's no way their main income is the i mean they literally the main four are like literally like 365 days out of the year playing in las vegas like if they're getting who is going to that show actually i bitch if i saw a poster for i would go because i'm not kidding my life is when I was in Portugal. I was in this red. No, I was in Spain in a random town on Mallorca.

And there was a poster for a Michael Jackson impersonator that I wanted to go to. Why? So bad. Because, but we were like an hour away from our Airbnb. And I was like, dude, I can't do that sober.

Like that will, I need to be drunk at a Michael Jackson impersonator. There's was like dude i can't do that sober like that will i need to be drunk at a michael jackson impersonator there's just certain things you can't do sober and some would disagree but okay suck my balls from the back i don't care i need to be cross-faded as fuck watching this man live out his michael jackson dreams so i couldn't see and i'm not kidding it's actually crazy how often i think about that poster i remember the temperature i remember exactly what i was doing i had just come back from the bathroom from the random restaurant that he was gonna be performing at and i was looking around i was like look at all these families who are

gonna get to see michael jackson and i'm not so i under actually now i understand the blue man group thing sorry i'm like literally freaking the fuck out i can't find this goddamn video you made that up you fell asleep watching like i might dreamed they were on a ride to Texas. It was New Braunfels Festival and someone did like the up house and I was like, oh, that's lit. Then the Blue Man Group came out unless I'm literally making this up

and like that would freak me out, y'all. I think you'll find it. Give me a second. You just watched so many TikToks. It's not like you could go to your TikTok history. Oh, wait, I literally could. Hold on, let me let me see if this they need to add a search feature to the tiktok history because like scrolling through is too much yeah because also then it freaks me out i'm like i don't even remember seeing half this shit it's so fucked up

can't wait what just happened well I'm gonna watch the video of the lady getting attacked by the horse again look at my watch history I'm not kidding it's all blue man group shit like I'm not even fucking playing I'm not kidding. It's all Blue Man Group shit. Like, I'm not even fucking playing. Okay, the man riding the horse told that bitch to do that. Like, why did the horse do that? The lady, like, because the whole thing with the horses in fucking London or wherever the hell that is, is like, everybody always knows you're supposed to stay away from the horses and be far away.

She was standing exactly where she should have been. So she had no reason to get fucking bit up like that. That horse was like not feeling it that day. Oh, it's kind of sad. This is someone's grandma. She was so happy. I know she literally just wanted a picture. Have you seen the one where like the like armed guards just like scream in people's faces? It'll be like a child.

Next time when y'all come up to me for a picture, I'm going to bite your sleeve and drag you to the floor with my mouth. It'll be like a child that's like in the way of their walking path and they'll just fucking check the shit out of them and throw them to the side like garbage. Like what? Y'all didn't get my reference,

but I was humming to the sound of the refrigerator. How did I watch this many fucking videos bro was it up here okay drew i'm actually about to shit myself so we need to go whatever y'all y'all find it if you want it i'm not fucking looking for it anymore y'all are like pissing me off. Okay, well, media of the week is... I don't want to tell you. Pet Shop Boys. What song were we listening to yesterday? West End Girls or Dominoes.

Dominoes. I love Dominoes. I also love West End Girls. West End Girls. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. Um... West End girl You can drive my fast car I want a fast car It's crazy what TikTok does

Because I can never listen to that song And not think of the blonde girl With the hat on It's forever I was literally just about to say that i'm gonna find that one casanova 70 um by air um say yes to heaven yes i got my eyes on you oh wait that sounded sounded actually really good.

What was I going to look up? Oh, yeah. This is what I looked up. Your proportions look insane. She tore. It's a weird clip from Boys Don't Cry. A little bit of here. Been working at the convenience store. She tore. Just a little bit of money. It's a weird clip from Boys Don't Cry. A little bit of money. A lot of y'all won't get my reference.

Silver Dagger by Joan Baez. Just for a moment, Ronnie Wood and Ronnie Lane. You Go Where I Go, Walter Becker and Donald Fagan. But there was a song that I heard yesterday on my Discover Weekly before it renewed. And it was a song you would have liked because it was really sweet. And it was about an uncle and a niece. But I'm assuming the song was insinuating that the daughter didn't have a father figure. So the uncle was trying to be that for her.

But it was really cute. And I'm going to find it because it made me think of you and Luna. It was really sweet. I love my Luna girl. All right. Well. They know about it. We should do that at the end of every episode now.

We're going to start singing songs that we like. They know about it. They know about it. What song is that? I don't know. Black Beatles in the city. Say it ridiculously. It's coming looking at me. All right. Bye, guys. city say it ridiculously it's coming looking at me all right bye guys Oh, y'all really thought, y'all really thought that I forgot PSYOP.

I did. Throw me to the wolves and I'll come back pregnant. Shout out, Sarah. That's a good one. To be fair, Drew said it off camera and we all laughed. This is a tweet from TheJoeyDavis. Propaganda? How about I take a propaganda at your boobs? I don't like that one.

We say how quiet it gets in between. I'm tired of people asking me if I'm an introvert or an extrovert. Bitch, I'm a pervert. That's me. What? He's saying that's me. We need more girl perverts. Dead silent.

I'm a girl pervert. Yo, I've been like losing, like I haven't been collecting memes for my like private meme account in so long and I've just like been trying to like get my algorithms back into showing me memes. So I have more content to just post to the- But you're watching Blue Man Group for 30 minutes.

Yeah, to post to the 23 followers that are actually active on that account. I just realized y'all send me like literally thousands of memes a day into my emails and I'm gonna start sourcing them there. Adriana said, don't you love when your coochie hairs poke through your undies

and it feels like a little hedgehog? Okay, this one is for my girl and she knows who she is. I can't stand a moody man. What is your problem now, girl? I'll find one more I love this picture Atlanta Mr. Beast

This is from Ruby I thought my homegirl was cooking fish She in the living room doing squats That's that That's that Alright bye Bye for real now