Emergency Intercom - halloween episode w josiah

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

josiah joins us to talk about the importance of healing your inner child, drew talks about a bunch of guys with beards he thinks are s*xy, and enya goes over her plan for if anyone tries to m*rder her Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. My name is Dora May and I'm from Nebraska. My name is Reagan and I'm from Buckwheat, Illinois. Welcome to Emergency Intercom.

The Halloween special. This is Halloween. This is Halloween. This is Halloween. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Guys, we're back. We're back. Like we never left.

We've got Joe here. Hey. Joe, Joe. I'm Joe. If you don't know me, now you know me. I'm Joe. If you don't know, now you know me I'm Joe if you don't know now you know um

dude you in this fucking costume I thought you were gonna say I'm gay little monkey from the apple store oh yeah go ahead my name is gay little monkey and I'm from the apple store ew

ew I like actually love when you do that way too much and I don't think it'll ever like not be funny to me wow oh oh my god starting off strong you're fucking drinking it's just holy water babe that's a flat I've been possessed oh my god you are possessed the power of christ compels you the power of christ compels you the power of christ compels you i was using all the props in the first like one minute like we should not be allowed to have props that's what i'm saying it's like literally we haven't really done an introduction or said anything yet and we've just been like yelling we've just been playing yelling. We've just been playing.

And that's okay. That's what Halloween is really about. Everybody wants to make it about being a slut and nasty and sexy and using it as an excuse to whore yourself out. Period. It should be a fun thing with your friends. I actually agree with you on women for once. Y'all are acting hella different.

I just think I have a feeling this light is not doing me justice and nobody had the the decency to check and see if it no you look i can't see yeah i have these contacts in and i'm not joking you look beautiful i'm like feels like i'm dissociating you know when you get like tunnel vision yeah it's like that but like to the unteens have you either of y'all wore like colored contacts yeah yeah it's crazy that, but to the un-teen. Either of y'all wore colored contacts? Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, but back to women being sluts.

Oh, my God. We could have just moved on. If you have big boobs and you show them off, you're annoying. You're annoying? Well, what if it's huge boobs, though? What is the conversation? Okay, I guess, what, like triple F? A, B, C, D, E, F? Yeah, F is after E. There's no guess like what? Like triple F? A, B, C, D, E, F? Yeah, F is after E.

Yeah. There's no way. No one has triple F boobs. I've seen some triple F boobs before. There's definitely somebody. I mean, there's like 8 billion people in the world. Like, yeah. Like, do you mean like real organic?

Like natty? Yeah, like nobody has like natty. You're hella natty. I'm hella natty right now. Yeah, you're so natty. Yeah, you're serving natty. Nice socks. It's like you're so nat.ty. I'm hella natty right now. You're so natty. Yeah, you're serving natty. Nice socks. It's like you're so nat.

The foot episode. Let's see what's in between those toes. Ew. Well, should we talk about me getting a scam call while we were getting our costumes? The single topic we have. Yeah, the one thing we have to talk about today. Okay. Well, I need to back up.

How about that? You need to back up. You need to leave. Sorry, sorry. Am I good with audio if I'm back here? No, hell no. Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no.

21, 21. Who knew that the scary maze... LeBron James. Who knew that the scary... LeBron James. Who knows that the scary maze girl had such a good voice? Ew, something leaked out of your mouth. Yeah, you...

What was that? Chocolate. Oh, it's when your guts fell off? Yeah. Yeah. It's your gin gut fell off. Yeah. Okay. your it's one of your guts fell off yeah yeah it's your chin cut fell off yeah okay um so yesterday we were getting like the final pieces of the costumes and just figuring things out and we

were in spirit halloween and i got a call from a random number like twice and by the third time i had an inkling i was like wow maybe this is something serious and i should answer it so i answered and immediately i heard a beep which to me is sign of a scam call because like it immediately beeping like that i'm like why why am i being recorded like are they cussing you also being recorded without being told you're being a recorder i'm like this is a scam call yeah so then he was like um i'm from i like didn't understand what you were like saying. I'll be thinking. Wow.

Yeah, sorry. So they called and they were like, yeah, we're from American Express. This is the security region. Is this any man's or so? I was intrigued. I won't lie. There was a split second of my brain that was like, oh, no. What did I do? What did I do?

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. And you'd be like. Dorothy be like. Dorothy would be like. Oh. The witch is dead. The witch is dead. Me when the witch in question is Drew's stinky pussy.

Okay, I do not have a stinky dead vagina. You kind of do have a dead vagina. No, I have. I was like your vagina. No, no, no, have no no no no no i have a pretty pink boy furless bussy is it shiny yeah the honest is it pink it's pink as fuck it's definitely looking away when you're saying it's definitely pink it's definitely tainted by years of it pink no it's not pink okay that's okay if anybody's gonna know if it's pink

i know and it's not pink mine's like purple vibes oh or like um it's green yeah some days it's rotted it's gutted it kind of just depends on the day because the girls i'd be fucking like wow it's like the ph is green it's the green goo i feel like i'm on nickelodeon kids choice awards when i'm down there getting slimed did the lab you just did was really like scary sorry yes to the scam call anyway so i like am talking to him for a while and drew's kind of lingering and he's like who are you talking to who are you talking to i was like it's a scam just ignore it um like ignore me and then he's like you you took out a credit card and i'm a part of the security team and i just had to let you know that i will be sending the fbi after you in the next two hours

if you don't resolve this issue and i was like what's the issue and then he tells me that under my name there was a charge for three thousand dollars worth of firearms so then i immediately was like okay first of all like pick a scam that's like realistic. Because in what world am I spending that much money on firearms? Like also he said firearms.com. White people do. How much is a gun?

I guess. How much is a gun? Like as low as $150. Can I borrow $150? No. Why? Because I got some business to take care of but yeah so and just like getting like chopping it up with this man and i come over there and i'm like

what's going on like what is all this about and then she's like she he keeps she has him like repeat it like 30 times yeah i was like what did i do what did i do what did i do like what are you saying can you repeat the the the website again and then he keeps going he's like firearms you bought firearms and then he's like no i didn't and then he's like you bought firearms without a license and i'm like and you tell him you have a license like you're licensed like you have a firearms license and then and he was like i did and then he came up with like a new lie where he was like well it's actually a card open up under your name so it's not the card because he kept reading card numbers that wasn't in yours and then he was like well it's actually a card open up under your name so it's not the

card because he kept reading card numbers that wasn't inya's and then he was like oh it's actually like a different card number um that was opened up under your name and yeah it was just like back and forth for so long also at one point i was like you know what i do get drunk and i always have the issue where i get drunk and i always order a firearm so it honestly might have been me and then he was like yes it was you and i'm sending the fbi and i was like are you seriously gonna snitch on me like you're gonna call the fucking fbi on me bro his name was travis by the way oh yeah yeah he said his name was travis and then i started asking i was like have you gone on your lunch break today and then josie was like ask him if he's had a chicken sandwich did you have a chicken sandwich today sandwich sandwich and then we put him on a three-way i was gonna

say i was like how long he stuck on yeah i was like we need to call my phone as like the business manager so we like tapped my phone and then i gave it to josiah because he's so much better at shit like that and then we just like had a back and forth where I was like, I'm the business manager. And then we patched in Josiah's phone and acted like, oh, no, no, no. I was a store employee. And I kept walking up to Enya and being like, you need to get the fuck out of Spirit Halloween. You've been in here for three hours on the phone. Dude, and it was so sad.

Whoever this man was, he was like, is there any way you could go somewhere quieter, please? Because it was just so loud. The music in that damn store is crazy it was like 25 minutes in and he wasn't hanging up on us and at this point i had told him i was in turks and cacos i was like you can send the fbi to my house all you want i'm literally in turks and cacos right now like i'm at the mall in turks and cacos like i am not being arrested and then josie went up to the speaker and it was playing like the monster jam loud as fuck and spear halloween am not being arrested and then Josie went up to the speaker and it was playing like the monster jam loud as fuck in Spear Halloween and played it there and then we put our phones together and we're making it like echo and like make a crazy noise and then he was just quiet he was quiet for so long we were like Chavis hello and he was like Chavis yes I'm still here

he really thought he hit the lottery like he really thought like oh my god i have like a stupid bimbo girl like i'm literally gonna get three grand out of her or something but he literally wouldn't tell us how to resolve it like i was like can i pay you can i pay you he was like let me finish let me finish and then he would start his whole tangent over again so basically he was one of the worst scam callers ever but we started calling him chavis instead of chavis and josie was calling me anna and you said your name was david i said my name was david you were annie and he's chavis and what you would have said he said chavis do you have a computer he was like uh yes i'm looking at the database on my computer right now as we're talking and i was like what database i was like are you the database on my computer right now as we're talking. And I was like, what database? I was like, are you sure you have a computer right now?

He said he was in the New York headquarters. He said, I'm here at the New York headquarters. Bitch, who is stationing their customer service, like, area in New York? Not even that. It was, like, 340. Or anywhere in America. It was 340 p.m. Yeah.

So that would mean it's, like, past the work day. But I miss him, and I honestly wish he would call back because he hung up on us we didn't even end up hanging up on him so am i allowed to say osi on here no see us see good snapchat me to us and you can cash at me um well also we wanted to talk about so me and inya have been seriously genuinely with our whole hearts it's not even a bit anymore like actually getting married like we really really are considering it he's jealous and josiah is like actually hella pissed but like we just think it would be so funny one to get married to like all of the benefits we essentially are married already like we have such a domestic life we like do everything

together we go everywhere together like we're married like you guys gonna sign prenups um we talked about yeah i guess yeah we're just gonna sign it so that like everything is split like we own the things we own there's no like sharing of properties or anything or businesses because i know drew is a gold digger so i can't trust him uh dress for the wedding a drew me yeah oh i wear. Who would wear the dress for the wedding? Drew. Me, yeah. Oh. I wear the pants. I wear the pants in this relationship. We've got a comedian.

I'm not kidding. We are going to get married. Are you going to officinate the wedding? Officinate the wedding? What is it? Yeah, right. I don't believe in weddings. So what is it?

Officiate? No. That's the part I do believe in. That's the thing is I believe in that's the thing I believe in the wedding like that's fun but like bitch unless it's really good

for my taxes I'm not getting legally married to you like fuck that well it is really good for your taxes yeah if y'all are getting tax breaks and shit off of it zoo it

yeah I think we're gonna do it for that yeah so are you gonna officiate or what cause you didn't really answer that if I got yeah it doesn't take that long

do you have to get a license yeah you have to become like anained ministers i'm sure like it takes like literally a day yeah i'll do it max like maybe an hour yeah but you have to be dressed like the way you're dressed right now yeah i'll do it as this it feels kind of religious though are you the joker is that what this is no i'm the girl from Scary Maze Game. Oh, you are Scary Maze Game, girl. Oh my gosh. Y'all know who that is? I would love to go through a dark tunnel and bump into a wall and see you naked at the end of it. You know the scream that she does?

Do the Michael Jackson scream in that. Oh! This is like, every time I look, it's like i keep seeing something right here walking um maybe i am fucking possessed yeah you might be possessed and i'm like oh my god as well as in here you're seeing your own hand is the zoo your toto from the movie what movie from the fucking wizard of oz what is that that's what you're dressed as right now you said my name's dorothy no i'm pearl from uh babe that was last year you have midnight games i'm pearl from squid game no um polish your pearl i'm pearl from squid fun can i polish your pearl it's cool that we

planned no fucking topic i know i'm going through all of my notes trying to find something maybe we talk about scary stories like some spooky scary stories i don't have scary stories i fell i'm not even kidding i like literally don't my life is like well the scariest part of my life is the uh the decisions i make and then having to face the consequences of them damn uh flop yeah we have a comedian here um so yeah i have a pretty scary life as a doordash driver it's very hard okay you actually have done doordash has anything ever bad like bad to you ever happen while you've done doordash um no just like seeing fans like delivering to fans and then being like oh are you like good um but no they're like oh my god are you just out i'm like no i'm not and they're like it says your

name is just out here i'm like oh and you're like what a coincidence like i don't give a fuck i'm like you know what like they they know like i mean i don't make money you know like they know like i mean that's why you have to get on the podcast so often you need to just a quick check during and you pay me like 40 every time i come on the podcast yeah 40 and some special effects makeup and if and if the episode gets past 300k views we give them an extra 10 dollar bonus a crisp 10 bill for your birthday sweetie should we talk about how bad we've been with making music? But we can't because then we would have to show one of the songs. I feel like there's a clip we can show.

Was there an earthquake just now? Yeah, I was shaking my ass. Josie, you are actually fucking possessed because you're tweaking out. I've never seen the first Exorcist. You should see it. It's fun. Did y'all talk about that last week? Seeing the Exorcist. You should see it. It's fun. We saw the... Did we talk...

Did y'all talk about that last week? Seeing the Exorcist? In 40X? Yeah. But you have to talk about the fact that there was stink all over you. What do you mean? Because didn't it leak on you? Oh, yeah.

When I was seeing it, I was sitting right there. And there was like... Because they do the water mist stuff, but there was like a leak in front of me. So I just kept seeing this like solid water stream come down right in front of me. And I was like, because they do the water mist stuff, but there was like a leak in front of me. So I just kept seeing this like solid water stream come down right in front of me. And I was like, oh, damn. Like, because I was wearing my nice shoes and everything. And it was nasty. It was gross.

Your little get up. Yeah, my little get up. We gotta get you some more clothes. I have enough clothes. They just all look the same at this point. Like I used to be like, fuck that. I'm never buying clothes. Like I've got like my two outfits i'm good but now it's like kind of by choice i like find a shirt and a pair of pants that i like and i wear it for a month remember

your diaper though remember josie diaper butt era yeah yeah like i just don't understand yet and my ass hadn't really filled out yet because I, like, was 17, 16. You weren't doing any squats. I wasn't doing squats, yeah, but now it's like, if I'm in the club,

I'm definitely getting people groping me from the back. So, yeah, it's pretty awesome. I brag about that. Josie, if you were

going to start a business, what business would you start? Like, I'm not even kidding probably the sake you remember the sake what is that so when we were on field trip we did that shark tank episode and my invention was the sake

which I like actually believe in that did we upload the shark tank episode we did that was the one where we were locked in the place we almost didn't upload that episode, though. Should we talk about that? We predicted fucking COVID. I didn't want to upload it, but you hadn't seen it yet.

It was just based on what we had done that day. We didn't feel good about it. We weren't that involved in planning all the shit for that episode, and we didn't feel good about it. But then once the edit came through it was like okay this is crazy yeah this is like i cannot be crazy because it was so real out of it it was like dude like that day it genuinely felt like we were in there for like two weeks it was hell on earth like it was like actually like being trapped in a box it was like being trapped in a closet yeah like a glass closet

should we talk about how ketamine is a club drug now have you done ketamine no have you done ketamine i'm like terrified of it like literally i think ketamine is the new devil and i don't know how people have fun with that shit like literally the literally, the cat rats of New York, like, come on now. Like, figure your shit out because, like, that is not a fun drug. I would not do it because, I mean, what does it do to you? Like, it just, like, detaches your mind from your body. So, like, you, like, dissociate but, like, on another plane of existence. I don't understand the point of like

taking drugs that are like downers like that like things that like literally just like put you to sleep like take melatonin and fucking go lay down and go to bed it makes you numb it's like i think it comes from like the euphoria like do you get like a spike of euphoria from it well that's not a downer it's a dissociative ketamine. Oh. And you fall into the hole. Yeah. Marshmallow feet. Remember when he who will not be named, like, walked into the elevator at, like, a YouTube convention and, like, saw me and Enya in the elevator and was like.

Oh, David Dobrik. I don't give a fuck to say his name. You're a fucking freak. He was like, what are y'all? Y'all are on fucking ketamine right now or something. And we were like, no. It's like, no, you're the weirdo bitch. You're the weirdo his last name is

tobac you're on you're on ketamine right now and we were like no and he was like oh that shit's lit like it turns your feet into marshmallows and we were like okay like what the hell we literally hadn't said anything to him he is fucking weird and he had that damn camera in his hand like literally i swear to god i swear to god like vloggers like that the hand like their hand has like been mutated and evolved to hold cameras because like if you hold a big ass dslr out like that shit's like heavy as fuck like they you know that one like um dude that held his hand up in the air for like the one um not none but like whatever the none equivalent with the shaved heads um in like buddhist cultures monk monk he held his hand up in the air like this

that's like in america the equivalent to that is vloggers like because they're brave as fuck like speaking of them they take like vows of silence would you how long do you guys think you would last maybe 30 minutes i think i probably would last but yeah maybe less than no i could i could actually do good i think i could actually like stay silent well am i like in a room alone or are there people around me you're alone you'll have to deal with people yeah you're just living life like regularly but i think i could do it because like when i really like am down tremendously bad i already am just silent like yeah also gandhi was sneaking food i'm sorry he was they told me he didn't eat for

like two months they told me and why did you bring that up just now because like i think about it a lot genuinely i'm like okay yeah you're telling me he didn't drink water or eat food for months on end okay but if mr beast did it you would fucking believe it no maybe but that's like now that was like in the fucking 1800s or something right i don't know when he's from but um he was definitely eating oh since he ate like they They found a bunch of pizza boxes under his bed. Shut the fuck up. Did y'all know the 72 emojis can correlate

directly with the 72 seals of Solomon? What the fuck is a seal of Solomon? Emojis are demonic. I feel like there's more than 72. No, no, no. The first 72. Was there only 72 at the beginning

the last five um sigils and emojis they correlate where it's like skull ghost robot alien boom or some shit like that so basically it's like predicting that like sooner than later we're gonna like become we're all gonna die and upload ourselves into the cloud and become like cyborg robots and then like we're gonna be controlled by solomon who's solomon though yeah who is like the devil oh he has another name the devil like one of the devil he's a demon not the devil oh solomon yeah and that's the tea with the Solomon sneakers is they're also evil. Oh, my God. And also, listen to this, the new Jamba Juice logo.

I actually recognized this recently. If you turn it on its side, I'm not joking. You can look this up. And they changed it for what reason? I don't know. It literally is 666. All you have to do is turn it on its side. The floor we got into last night was 666.

It had four sixes on the end of the license plate I really honestly didn't want to get in that car you know what it was uncomfortable should we do a Ouija board fuck no bro I will not do that I don't believe in that shit my name is from the bible

I'm with God till the day I fucking die believing in the truth i know i like that i was like i'm doing the exorcist she was like really and i was like yeah i didn't want to do like the cross on my head though because i was like that's too much i wouldn't even fuck with that shit she'll like be mad do you remember the field trip what the cross yeah no i know but like my mom would be like, oh, so you're going to hell. No, it's giving like a Playboy Cardi. Oh, yeah. But do y'all remember when we recorded that field trip pilot where the house was haunted

and we did a Ouija board and Josiah ran and hid in another room? I did. Actually, let's tell that story real quick. Because what really, okay, it was me, Drew, Orion, Josh. I think that was who was in here. And you went to go take a shit she was blowing something up i don't fucking know if you were in the bathroom we were trying to do it josh kept moving i know it was fucking josh or was it you i wasn't putting my hands on it wasn't me i refused

to put my hands on it he just fucking lied to his teeth no i genuinely don't remember this story i felt like it was josh it was me orion was like put her hands on it because she's super scared of it orion i don't think it was because she started laughing crying like freaked out because she really thought it was moving and then well no that's the whole point of like ouija boards is like you don't know who's the juju guy gets it and like makes you laugh and cry that's why who the fuck is the juju juju is the demon juju juju is that true and there's juju and bobo and those are the ones that bobo those are the ones that like infect you make you laugh y'all say i've never interacted with a ouija board in my life dude fuck that and i didn't and what

happened next is enya has a home pod on this side of the house the living room's right here she's in the bathroom on the other side of the house so we're not even thinking anything of it right after like we all like they all take their hands off of it everyone's kind of like freaked out like or i guess just orion and me probably um and yeah plays a fucking knocking sound on the home pod and i genuinely sat there for a moment and was like damn like i'm fucked like this is the rest of my life it was really really scary and my mom's gonna be so pissed and then when we fucking went to um big bear and like we were already spooked out it was the first time we all went up into the mountains together and like orion thought it was so fucking funny to like scare the shit out of all

of us and like it literally was just like so scary i was like shitting fucking bricks oh my god you know what's a funny scary story is a big sir this last trip me and orion got these motherfuckers so good we got to this airbnb with what uh when we remember the fuck out of y'all in big sir andrew was so mad we like i wasn't pissed i was just scared i was like literally please fucking tell me if it was y'all or not because i need to know if i need to like ready up to scared. I was like, literally, please fucking tell me if it was y'all or not, because I need to know if I need to like ready up to fight. Like I was like, I have my switchblade out.

Okay, let me explain this. So we get to this like big sir cabin in the middle of nowhere. Like we left really late. We didn't get to the property until like 3 a.m. And it wasn't like you just drive into a driveway. It had like really intense directions to go through this whole lost property to get there i'm driving i'm like really anxious and so tired and everybody had fallen asleep except me and josie and we're pulling up and like drew and orion start waking up and like the directions are super unclear because it's so fucking dark

there's like no light pollution over there so it's literally pitch dark driving through these fucking roads it's also like kind of on a cliff like we're just going around it takes us an hour to get to the airbnb and within that hour like we kept landing at other houses on the property and literally thinking we were gonna get killed but thankfully the owner came out and like saw us and like guided us to the house we get to the house we go in and it's like two homes and me and orion take one and they take the other it's like two like like smaller like hut houses like situations so we get one they get one i don't know why but like i try to remember why we decided to scare them like were y'all like high or something no there's no way yeah because it was like 4 a.m yeah at that point it was like really late so we weren't high we were just like bored and orion's like i'm gonna throw something

at their window and i was like okay so she gets up and she throws like a pebble at the window and like we can because we can hear them through the walls talking and we heard y'all the reason why y'all started doing it is because me and drew were photoshopping photos of our window with like i so me and drew started it we started it and we were sending photos something like oh my god like look outside the window and i made it like super faint so you could kind of see like a silhouette outside our window but before y'all or orion threw the thing there was like there's like critters like all like in the roof because it's like an old ass house and it was like this noise like like we kept hearing and we were like what the fuck is that like that's because it sounded like someone tapping on our window like

with their fingernails we thought that was you guys yeah that's what i was scared of that's what i was scared of doing that first she threw something and then she crawled out of the room and went to y'all's window and was like going like this on it and tapping on it and ran back inside and y'all facetimed her and i acted like i was sleeping so she y'all called her which i knew yeah you were not good at sleeping she was laughing and i was like what and i was like i just came back from peeing like i like i i just woke up like what and then they were like stop fucking with us i stop fucking with us and we were like no i'm being dead ass bitch it's so fucking scary out there why would we go out there to scare you like we're not going out there to scare you and we dragged it

on for like 20 minutes and like they were getting so freaked out and they kept begging us to tell the truth and all night we didn't tell the truth. And all night we didn't tell the truth. I don't think we told you all the truth until like two nights later. I think the scariest part of it was literally the next day I was like just packing my bags, getting ready to go and just like cleaning up. And I hear that fucking sound again. And then I realized what it was the first thing we heard and that we kept hearing as we were falling asleep after we realized it was them because it happened way more after we realized like oh they're just fucking with us was there was like nesting birds in the side of the building so like these birds were like flapping their wings and cleaning themselves and making their nests up there it was like so like sketchy like it was it scared the shit out of me even like

the next day oh fuck i wish wait i think i want to see if i have any videos of me and orion laughing because like we were dying i thought i was close to death for a second but then i thought i was like but there's no fucking way on earth that orion is not buying this yeah no literally she does that shit literally anytime we go somewhere orion loves scaring people she scares the fucking video of her like going to find a rock to throw at y'all's window yeah because also i remember after that big thud like hearing like y'all's door shut yeah yeah we could hit her like scurry away yeah ew see like that's what we need is like going on trips and having fun like kids like that's what

a lot more people need is like go out and heal your inner child like go and be with the older man like whoa you're saying like it's a joke but it literally is so like true because we i think about how we played hide and seek and uh big bear and shit like that is so fucking one of my favorite videos of all time is me hiding in between like the shower curtains like the two shower curtains the one that goes in the tub and the one on the outside of the tub and like me hiding in there and i was like oh this is like one of the best spots ever and then josh finding me and i have like a video video of Josh like opening them up really quick and it's just so cute because he's like smiling so big I'm gonna find it dude i was trying to make it as small as possible so you wouldn't hit it

dude that like actually playing hide and seek is so fun and if you have a large house because that's the thing is we never can because like no one we know except maybe like lucas has like kind of a bigger house but even with lucas's house it's not that good to hide and we've tried to play hide and seek in there yeah it has to be like a big house play hide and seek or bodies bodies bodies one of our friends recently was like um one of our friends recently was like oh we want to start like a hide and go seek league in la and just like get a bunch of people to get like a giant mansion. And like, you spend like 50 bucks each to throw down. And it's like a 23 room. Like 20 for one night just to play.

We should literally do that. Doesn't that sound weird? And then I can like make punch for everybody, but like, uh, put LSD in it. Like, yeah,

put like a gnarly psychedelic in it. So everybody freaks out and gets scared. Okay. If you did that, I'm not kidding. I would probably put a fucking bullet in your head oh wow no i'm sorry but like that's not cool i mean anybody who's doing like lsd to people that's screwed up like i would only do it to you so dude when i was

growing up when i was growing up we literally like would play like laced blunt roulette like i would lace everyone's blunts and there was one that had a bunch of lsd and you would smoke it that actually knows people three people had psychotic breaks and like never returned oh my god and you're proud of that yeah it was fun as fuck they knew what they were getting into that's actually they did and i was just doing it behind their backs but oh my god it was like a fun game that i might. You might face like legal like consequences. Yeah. Okay. I'm just saying like it's like really gnarly to do this. Everyone's just so boring. Like anytime I've ever just dripped LSD into someone's like sleeping mouth and they've

woken up in like a full blown like LSD trip, they like spaz out. Is that what would happen? I think so. I mean, it was. Like I was asleep and you like dripped like LSD or something into my mouth. Would I wake up or would I literally just have the craziest dream on my goddamn life? I just know that trying to sleep on LSD is literally impossible. You cannot sleep on it.

Someone should do an experiment like that. Are you sleeping over tonight? Fuck no. Okay. Not after what you guys just said. I woke Enya up this morning with my finger in her butt. Yeah, and it was the second day in a row. What a good way to start the day.

You don't need coffee anymore. Oh, we should talk about how- I was going to say, I could survive my silence if you don't give me my coffee. Then I could be silent. But I guess then I would be angry if that's how the joke goes to no one. Oh, well. We should talk So nevermind. Um, well,

we should talk about how Josiah literally like Josiah sleeps in my bed. Yeah. Like we like he like, it's a vibe, but like, it's more because I like a warm body next to me. He's just like something I pass around and like, that's all you are to me as a warm body.

If you slept in my bed, I would make you feel pleasures beyond your wildest imagination I don't want that for me but Josiah every once in a while every like three months will like become like violently

cuddly with me like to the point he just like forgets that it's me and like it's just like a body and then like he'll like get's me. And, like, it's just, like, a body. And then, like, he'll, like, get on me. And I'll, like, be like, yo, Josiah, like, get off of me. Get off of me. And then he'll get back on me, like, 10 minutes later.

I'm like, yo, Josiah, get the fuck off of me. And then he'll get back on me. And I'll, like, push him off and be like, yo, you're tweaking the fuck out. Like, literally, like, I have to, like, kick his legs and shit. But, like, this last time, he, like, was wiling the fuck out like literally like i have to like kick his legs and shit yeah but like this last time he like was wiling the fuck out and it was like he like had his leg over the top of me and like was like had his arm over me and for a moment i was like i'm just gonna let him stay like that i've done that to orion a handful of times like thinking she was somebody who i was like romantic

with because my brain is just like i did that i'm always sleeping with people yeah and i did it to lucas so bad that i put my sausage like on him do you know that oh yeah i know about that yeah like a word got round about that it was really rough and it happened twice but you know it happened also christian also did that to him so yeah it's not just me lucas and grace her his own girlfriend said to me she was like well like when he's asleep he like you know kind of rams his butt into me a lot so she was like it really could be that like he like inches towards you so dude it's not just me because also it happened with another person like did that to him bro how could you let your best bro crochet your sister bro that like i honestly don't know what switched in my brain.

It really was the Fiona Apple album where I was just like, they, like, need to be together, bro. Like, I can't play God like that. You're, like, fighting so hard. It was. I listened to it that night. And the day after, I literally, like, called, or I talked to Grace and I was like, I think you guys should get back together.

And she was like, okay, well, you got to go fucking talk to him. And I did. Well well that album ended my relationship I know and a relationship sprouted from it though so many things on and off you're lucky I don't sleep in your bed again and again and again

squirt so hard you'll fucking die I literally thought this was a real fucking foot just now that like scared the shit out of me I was like how the fuck did you get your leg i'm really flexible um okay let's do a spooky question how do you want to die you're always like i want to drown no okay no no no let me clarify when i was a kid i really wanted to drown because if you don't know i love water i love swimming if i see a body of water i will get in it and i've always been like that since i was a kid that's not and i was really go ahead what the fuck are you saying yeah i'm sorry but no go why would that be a lie

disclaimer lie let's go guys i'm sorry are you gonna keep interrupting me i'm good because we can take this off camera annie likes to swim in the body of water keep going annie annie brain-eating amoebas um but i used to really want to drown when i was a kid and then as i grew up i obviously realized that that is one of the most excruciating ways to die and it would be terror so my theory is i will not be dying by accident and i will be not be dying by the hands of somebody else i will have a natural death or i will kill myself yes like i literally if i was in a situation where i felt like somebody had the upper hand it was about to kill me bitch i would kill myself because i'm not letting you have the pleasure of it like

you're not getting that from me because i am very stubborn and I will get my lick. I don't even need the lick back. If the lick will be had on me, I will be licking first and I will not be got like that. She does lick first. Oh, your mama's vagina. I always get that first lick in. It's like a tootsie pop.

The deeper you go, the more you lick. A taste test lick. Your mama's so rich because um red lobster sources all their crabs from her she's like wholesale like she just when i when i look at your mom's pubes under a microscope i see the beach because there's crabs everywhere and sandy sandy gash sandy gash you imagine like imagine you're like you're doing that with somebody and they have a curtain of a bush

how do you want to die? a huge gash, open wound I also in the same way I'm like I've talked about this a lot do it like original there's documentation of me talking about that way before hey tomorrow you're gonna die this person person's gonna kill you i would be like oh then

i'm killing myself tonight like it's no question to me it really is like i don't want that to be like oh yeah he got killed by somebody like no i want it to be like he killed himself isn't that all i want it yeah if like a murderer is coming after me i want it to be so embarrassing because the murderer is still gonna get like charged with like attempted murder but i killed myself and then he's gonna have to go to court and be like oh my god no no no i was gonna kill her but she killed herself i didn't kill her and it's gonna be so embarrassing but probably hanging is i've always been drawn to it i don't know why i feel like it's such a don't it's like a man thing i don't know why it just is it is it's like a comedian thing yeah i just that's how i feel like it would be best it'd be real funny too like it

would be awful but like i'm gonna turn the fan on and once you fucking everywhere i would be like the potato from the potato flue around my room uh vine if i died oh yeah i'm i'm saying a cave exploration accident like i want to be trapped in a cave and like with three other people and have to like explore our way out and if there is not a way out then just like die in the cave that's like awful there's like so much fear and panic in that yeah that's kind of that's i'm addicted to fear and i'm addicted to it I I texted my ex every time she texted me and I'm like hold up

you know what you need to do because you wanted to do it show us some of the people you find attractive because that's what you were going to do you were going to like look people up

and show us who you that's what you should do look up your weirdest fucking person who you're attracted to and I need to see it Jon Hamm I already

Jon Hamm is not weird Jon Hamm is like classic like mine is like Willem Dafoe Mark Duplass Willem Dafoe is gorgeous. The fuck are you talking about? He's hung like a horse. Like recently? Oh yeah, he's got a huge wiener. He's got a great face.

Everybody loves him. Yeah, I guess it's not that weird. Steve Buscemi would be a little more niche, I think. Steve Buscemi in the movie Ghost World, though. When he was younger, he was pretty good looking. And yeah, when he was younger he was pretty hot. Adam sandler is one of mine that's like not that crazy to me though mine is marie bartlett let me see who's that who the fuck is that yeah he's like gorgeous

he's a hopper yeah no he's yeah he's like hot I like um Michelle Pfeiffer I think actually gorgeous in Meg Ryan oh you know who one of mine is is Nick Offerman oh

yeah from Parks and Rec oh yeah he's sexy boo what the fuck y'all there's something going on you said oof

don't scare bombastic side eye creaming all over you side eye creaming all over you side eye creaming all over you side eye keep going no I was gonna say I guess

I don't know we don't have I don't I actually now that I think of it I don't know if I have anybody who I like think to the general Mark Duplass who the fuck is that from Creep and the morning show ew bitch get the fuck get a life I think it's just because he's so lit like he's so lit and funny and like actually you know what i immediately take that

back i immediately take that back yeah that's what i'm saying when he has a beard he's fine like that's what i said last night he shows full frontal in the second movie i don't want to see that i literally don't want to see that you need to to see it. He shows the back. And he's acting like she's not going to rose toy to that picture tonight. Actually, I am... That's like... I don't want to say that. But I'll say it and then we can bleep it out. I am...

Oh, is that true? Yeah. I decided I need to take a step back. Let me change that tonight. No, I'm going to change it for you and put it right on your fucking butthole and shake you around the house oh my god shake me around the house i can fix you i'm gonna super glue my rose toy to your fucking butthole i can fix that i want to do a rose toy

brand deal please i think you can get that they want okay here's the thing is they don't want me they don't i don't know why. You're flashing the camera your freaking balls. Sorry. They don't want me. You have to sit crisscross applesauce, Josie. I'm not kidding. Your fucking bulge is going to be showing. I don't care.

They can see my bulge. It's huge. I'm not kidding. I know we talked about naked attraction last time when we were doing this. Would you go on that show? I would buy that show and do you think you'd do well you know what the thing is i don't think i would do that well i think you'd do well like i don't know i seen you you'd do well trust oh my god thank you

sure do you think you would do well yes i think so i think you would immediately no i'm too like nasty and twinkie and skinny. It wouldn't work. I see the scrawny guys winning. The scrawny guys win a lot. They get voted out every single time. They're like, you're too skinny. Both. No, I've seen a few scrawny guys win.

I've literally never seen one win. Oh, I saw one win the other day that I was genuinely shell-shocked. The one that was giving Mac Miller vibes? No. I know, he was the one picking. He was the one picking. He was like oh that one guy the one that was giving like mac miller vibes no i know he was the one picking he was a dime though he was like so cool you know what i'm talking about yeah i know who you're talking about he was like and then when he walked out at the end it's like huge like huge no we might be talking about someone else because when i was pretty big it was me you, and Sabrina watching it. We all have to look back at the clips.

We'll have to roll the footage back. I don't think I would do well on there. Let's just, yeah. No one's going to contest it. I don't think I would. It's too... Contessa. I mean, if you go dressed like this, I think so. You're scary.

My grandma's going to die soon. Oh, my God. That's awful do you want me to come visit her like this what speed up the process scared enough to be like oh my god josie yeah actually that's a lot i think i would do pretty well on naked attraction i think i would at least make it to the faces. Yeah, she's comfy. And then once it's the faces. Face card decline.

Yeah. He'd be like, oh, put it down. Like, let's put it down. Y'all put that one down. Everything. Oh, she's a butter face. Everything but her face. I never knew that's what that meant.

Really? No, I thought it just meant like greasy, like, ugh, butter's so nasty. Like, I literally, that's what I thought it was it was oh she's got a domino's pizza face it's like um like greasy garlic actually i think if it was a man choosing i would lose if it was a woman choosing i would win a naked attraction wait wait wait what the fuck did you just say you said if it was a man choosing you would win no i would lose and it was... What? Were there blood prints on the ceiling? I'm so sorry. That was me.

Well, she had her period, and then we didn't have any tampons, so you had to... The new exorcist to me was okay. Just saying. You don't feel like they did a good representation of your story? Hell no.

I'm not an exorcist, bro. What the fuck are you talking about i am scary sorry you guys look do you know her huh do you know the exorcist girl no i know um and yeah that's actually really fucked up to ask like other demons if they know other demons like they all we don't all know each other bro like that's really weird like i just would assume you guys probably like live in the same like areas and stuff hell no they live in hell um well let me tell you guys how is the big place okay hell is actually so lit and um really cheap rent a lot cheaper than la i'll tell you that this episode is like driving me crazy it's dragging

me through the fucking mud y'all um okay well i will say this isn't my story to tell but i just wanted to say this something spooky really did happen last night like really really fucking spooky should we tell that no let y'all can have that y'all tell that but because i don't even know yeah i don't even know what his vibe is on it I was thinking about that too Just know I Had to run Because they scared me

Not because anything happened to me Drew ran for his life And dredged up a lot of trauma A lot of trauma From the break in Can I admit something to you? No That was me You're like the 8 eighth person that has said that to me

no dude his fucking nasty pubes they're seared into my brain forever they're still in that shower no they probably are yeah no one uses that shower no ever since the break-in it's been like two three years like that shower has not been touched. Even before that, was it ever used? A couple times. We had also just moved in. The reason there was a razor was because I had used it. I had to get through that. Weed whacking.

We'd love to see that. Let's celebrate each other's beautiful bodies. New Fortnite map coming out. Actually, yeah yeah that is true wait when um in like less than two weeks i think yeah oh it's the og map like og map which is so i don't even know what that looks like like i got like tilted tower moisty meyer tomato town um pleasant park i think which is that's the that's the hot spot to land where you go to like um get a bunch of fucking kills. Like, that's where you go.

Yeah. Are you going to hop back on when they update it? A hundred percent, yeah. I'm actually so excited. And no more cars. They're getting rid of the cars. It's only going to be, like, maybe golf carts or shopping carts that they used to have. Oh, the shopping carts is lit.

So the mobility is going to be ass from what I've seen, which is fine. They're shopping carts. Yeah, they used to have that. You could, like, hop into a shopping cart and roll down a hill really fast yeah that was like because i remember when i first played it was yeah probably like 2018 you were like 12 in 2018 i was 17 i knew you i didn't know you you did know me okay you invited me over a lot and i was 17 hold up they don't know you like i know you sit down they don't love you like I love you

but also I wanted to take a quick moment to thank everybody cause I I feel like I said thank you but not big enough you know

are you watching TikToks are you watching something I was just gonna say something yeah he's gonna what were you watching something i was just gonna say something yeah he's gonna what were you gonna say i was gonna say thank you oh my god but just say it like dude your phone is like the loudest you unironically did that

while me and josie were in the bathroom like getting ready you unironically i noticed myself doing it so i turned my phone down and then then I left. Drew is the only person I know, maybe like one other person, who will sit in my car, like in the passenger seat and go out. Oh my god. It drives me fucking insane. I don't have to deal with it. I'm not going to be like, hey, get off TikTok. But you're one of the only people I know who do it. No, it drives me insane.

What else am I supposed to do? Look out the window. We are outside. Nasty fucking gross LA where it's just concrete and fucking no trees, no rocks, no gravel, nothing. It's just concrete. Yeah, you're always just flipping. Hell no. I'm an Angeleno originally. No, you are a fucking Orange Countian or whatever the fuck they call you.

Yeah, I take offense to that. No, literally it drives me fucking insane. Like I'll be trying to listen to music and Drew is sitting in my passenger seat watching tiktoks out loud and sometimes it'll be on a day like going to or leaving the gym where you have headphones on your person but you don't put them on and he will just watch tiktoks and he watches them so fucking loud and it's the worst thing ever i bet the people watching relate more to me than they relate to you i think you might find that most people uh are lit and love drew phillips um wait did we talk about you're running a red light completely with eight people yeah and then you like briefly spoke about it but we went to

halloween horror nights if we didn't and if we didn't i um we went to halloween horror nights if we didn't oh if they didn they didn't, no. Sorry. But I was driving home. I had my car. And there was like 20 of us. And I was like, oh, y'all don't have to Uber. And then I was like, oh, wait. I miscounted like tragically.

Like two people had to sit in the back of my trunk. And one person had to sit in the lap of another person. And then I was just like driving home. And I was like whipping the piss out of my car. And- It was like a two minute drive. Yeah, it was short. Like literally like three minutes.

It was from Universal. Like, yeah, it was two minutes away. To somebody's house. Yeah, it was crazy. It wasn't crazy. And I'm just driving mine in my business and I've literally never done this once in my life. But like, I just didn't clock

that there was a red light in front of me, and I just drove through it, and literally everyone in the car but me noticed, and they were like, you just ran a red light. And it was silent for a second, and then everyone was like, did you run that red light? Yeah. And you were like, oh.

Also, it was hella late. It was really late, and I was like, yes, I did. And it doesn't help that Drew was so drunk. It definitely was a lot of drunk. I mean, you had like i want to say like five drinks there seven drinks like an hour before i left i literally cannot imagine you drunk anymore like i haven't seen you drunk in so long dude i think i like broke my wrist or something because when i like press on my arm it like hurts so bad you broke your wrist yeah like but after drew ran that red light everyone kind of noticed and drew like was just like as i fucking should and they killed

yeah you're like honestly like i can't even be afraid or scared that that happened yeah you um i'm never drinking again yeah i can't imagine and also after that when we finally was just me drew and anya in the car like we dropped everyone off drew was like dude i didn't notice that red light at all and i knew when you said i was like there is no way drew just like did that for fun yeah like it was it was you're like a very cautious driver yeah i'm very defensive but i want to clarify I did not have anything to drink. I haven't had anything to drink in like forever. But the reason why I will never drink again, and I feel like this is important to say,

is because I feel like drinking is a very, very, very slippery slope, especially for people with addictive personalities and if you can just bite it in the ass if you can just eat the ass of the addiction like before it even starts i would recommend that yeah i because every time the reason i stopped was because every time i drank i would drink to fucking black out like it wasn't it wasn't like one or two drinks it wasn't fun it was never like a fucking vibe it was literally just like how drunk can i get like get all this shit down my throat so i could be crazy like i don't enjoy drinking it so to me i'm always like i'm just gonna get fucked up a good night out

like binging like eight drinks in the span of like three hours is like fun every now and then every four months but like we were the amount of times we were drinking it was just like unhealthy and it very easily could have became a problem to where i literally become an alcoholic on tour i'm sorry i do it's so goddamn boring like i feel like every musician i know goes on tour and they like i will never go on stage drunk fuck that fuck no fuck no baby i get free drinks we get free drinks wherever we go and after the show i'm like yeah like i'll get it like i'll get vodka lemonade sure yeah my issue is that i like can't say no to somebody i was gonna say i'm really bad with like anytime anybody

on the planet could be like do you want to drink and it? I'm like, yeah. If it's an open bar. Also, it sucks because as a beautiful person, essentially the beauty standard, borderline 10 out of 10 PSL God. Borderline personality. Really, really attractive. The beauty standard, period. For me and women. Who are you talking about?

It's just hard when people flock to give me drinks. Who are you talking about. To give you drinks? Who else am I talking about? Look at me. Notice me. Drew is giving body. Touch his body. Look around the room. Mardi Gras!

Mardi Gras! Hello. Give us a Mardi Gras. Give us a Mardi Gras. Give us a Mardi Gras. My name is Dorothy and I just want to take it to Mardi Gras. My name is. Oh, are we going to bleep that out? Wow.

You're over. Wow wow that literally just happened i can't believe that just happened um yeah look around the room i think it's really just like i'll drink i'll probably drink so much that i'll die till i'm drunk smoke till i'm high i'll probably drink chocolate chocolate my throat high i'll probably drink chocolate chug on my throat what i'll probably drink chug on my throat until you might drink chug on your throat i said i'll drink wait drink chuggle in my throat that's what you just said i said i'd probably drink till i and drink and i'll die from throwing up oh wait on it give me like a year y'all been seeing how many celebrities have been getting robbed no like bling ring 2.0 is happening

and they're being very secretive about it and we didn't do it the fact that it's not us is like fucked and it's not it's definitely not us don't check my computer don't check my closet we wouldn't because i wouldn't do that don't check my computer yeah we would not don't check my closet like we weren't stealing from celebrity but no like a

bunch of celebrities were getting robbed and like the only reason why it's leaking is because like someone went to this like party of like a bunch of like la people and like the commissioner and people there were like just talking like shit talking and whatever and we're talking about how like a bunch of people have been getting like notable people have been getting robbed recently that's crazy they can't have a ring camera how you got all that money and no ring

camera I mean they probably do but that was the thing they know how to bypass it Paris Hilton and people like that with the bling ring Paris Hilton every time they went to her house to rob her house it was unlocked the front door and no one was home i feel like that's like a big thing when you grow up or like you live in like a good neighborhood though i don't think we're paranoid i think we're just like normal people who grew up in normal neighborhoods suburbia you didn't have to lock your door yeah like that shocked me when i moved in with these

freaks and they were like yeah they would always forget to lock the door. Yeah, like that shocked me when I moved in with these freaks and they were like, yeah, they would always forget to lock the door. Yeah, it was like a learning curve for me to learn to lock the door. That is so intense. It's like small town shit. So if I was going to commit a murder, I should go to a suburban town and it'd be easy to get in.

Yeah. Would you do it? Also, I'd have my big boobs out. Have I ever talked about fridge hopping? Y'all know? Yeah. On the podcast, have I talked about it? Yeah, you've talked about about it i don't know what that is well let him know it's um basically what we used to do is literally commit crimes when i was like 15 16 um and we would go

around my neighborhood and find open garages don't fucking do this because you will go to jail it's 2023 there are cameras everywhere you're fucking stupid and you've been warned if you try to do this okay if a kid okay keep going and then i'll say my piece on this but we would go house to house and find open garages and then we would look inside their garages for refrigerators and if they had a refrigerator we would open up the refrigerator in the freezer and steal all of the alcohol out of it and like every time we did this we had alcohol for like four months like it was crazy that's would you steal food too no we didn't steal anything else

there was one thing that i feel really really guilty about still to this day ashes but no there was like they were making someone was like making their own wine or beer or something and there was like a glass jug like with handles on the side like this and like it was full and like we brought it and we put it like into the getaway cart and like um we like smelled it and it smelled fucking rancid so we just threw it in the lake and every time every time the lake like there's like a drought in granbury like in hood county there's like a part of the lake that we drove over we can still see the jar you can smell it yeah it's like it just floated down to the bottom that was somebody's hobby that was probably keeping them from like

doing something really evil and bad and then they were hurting themselves yeah so you have to live with that forever yep i feel like you're over it though it's like fine yeah i don't give a fuck now like at all but i still every once in a while i'm like damn i just like ruined i would ruin people's days like they would like look in their refrigerator and be like where's my beer yeah i would be fine with that though i'd be like bro like i would assume it was kids and be like whatever and i'm like kind of pro being an adult and giving kids alcohol too oh don't do that what don't make me drink alone okay mom are you guys mad at me i mean i risked my job for you guys to have a good time and now it feels like you're mad at me you know it's fun i was i was withholding this because i didn't know if i

wanted to say it or not but one of the houses that we would hit a stain on every single time was a cop. But we would steal from his refrigerator. And the last time I ever did it, we went into his house. And we were all very deep into his garage. And we had the beers in our hands and we heard his front door open and he said sit and like like sent his dog after us so we had to fucking run up the goddamn block it was so spooky is it worth it for a beer when you're like 16 yeah like it's lit like yeah like it's i saw someone who was like it's a canon

event to like sit in a circle with your 15 year old homies after you stole like a single wine cooler out of your like garage refrigerator and you pass it around and each take a sip and it's like you act like you're drunk like it's such a rite of passage i think i said this on the podcast but i will never forget my My dad was leaving. Oh. Can you not hear yourself? Why are you plugging your ear? Just like your presence is hurting me. Are you serious?

No, I have a really bad headache. I've been getting really, really gnarly headaches. Let me hit you in the head. I want to hit it from the back. Can I give you head? You can hit it from the back. You know you can hit it from the back. Can I teach you how to give head to a woman by me doing it to your penis you actually don't need to teach me because i study porn i macro does porn obviously every morning and i actually a lot or like it's a tiny

bit macros a lot micros a little like oh so you like you consume it in lump sums yeah like a lot wow that's really bad for you, I think. I mean, no. I guess it depends on how you look at it. That's what y'all talk about on this podcast. Porn and boobs and stuff? Yes. You know what?

I told Lucas that I was going to hurt myself. Or that I tried to hurt myself the week prior. And he said, damn, you can't even do that right. Wow. And he told me that I have no commitment. I have to agree with joe biden could instantly improve his rating if you grew up insert the photo insert the photo i pray to be as uh oblivious and geriatric and senile as literally that would be so fucking melting melting we were

put in a position where we had to i cannot believe I literally cannot believe that that is our president. He's lit. I mean, every president ever has been a fucking puppet, but I watched a clip of him. He literally cannot form his own fucking thoughts. He looks like my grandpa the last time I saw him before he died. Donna Chomp. He's over.

He just needs to fucking drop out out he needs to drop out and give another he needs to drop dead marianne williamson thank you who marianne williamson i love her she loves birds she's a really sweet girl who is that she's a she's cool she she can mind the gap in the gap sorry i'm looking for something to talk about let me see your gap um also we're at an hour and yeah and yeah are you okay no i'm ready i'm ready to go back it's okay guys we had the cut and you started crying she started thinking about like all the girls that don't get good head from men like that but like drew phillips he gives good head to women yeah it's just the girls that don't get good head from men but like Drew Phillips he gives good head

to women do you actually give head to girls? yeah yes he does if I was a girl I would let you do that to me sleepover

come on sleepover oh my god I don't even want to talk about celebra like how crazy do i look right now you look fucking insane you look awesome i've like become used to it but like it's honestly if i look like this all the time would you guys still be my friend probably not probably not dude you look terrifying touch my body drew a serving body body yeah this is i feel fucking crazy oh what's cool is i thought about this other day me and drew will die historians for sure because since we were on vine and like at the cusp of youtube and stuff i get to tell my kids that i did a lot of good on the planet yeah what the fuck are you talking about like i don't even what did you just say it was a really high

thought i had where i was like oh my god low-key in a way i'm a historian i have always thought about that like they're gonna write like me into the books of history because like low-key we invented this shit like we were at the genesis she's saying his story instead of history because like low-key we invented this shit like we were at the genesis she's saying his story instead of history why are you saying that it's like historian i guess a historian is somebody who's like really like well-versed on history oh you're saying you're gonna be a historian yeah i'm gonna be a historian okay her historian yeah her historian no one's ever talking about her story let's talk about anya for the day i saw somebody was like oh my god anya when she talks about her life and the things like when i talk about my life in an emotional

or like an emotionally intellectual based conversation people are like i'm making fun of the fact that i'm so of you talking about your life sorry uh people were like uh it was like oh my god when you turn 24 and your life changes they were just like making fun of me but you don't know what i've been through and that's what i have to say yeah you don't know my story i know your story you don't know my story my story makes you a little horny does it not no seeing you and drew touch will make me feel that way sometimes and i hate when you guys fight. I'd rather you guys touch and be happy because, no, it turns me on.

It does. Aw. And then I get to go to Josh's room while he's not here and do what you gotta do. And freak it. Do what you gotta do. Do you freak it in the sauna? Like in the corner? Yeah.

You freak it in the corner of the sauna? Yeah. You have to. Necessity. Somebody. I won't say that. You freak it in the corner of the sauna? Yeah, you have to. Necessity. Somebody, I won't say that. Okay, media of the week. We watched the Scooby-Doo movie and it is so fucking good.

It's classic. Yeah, I fell asleep during White Chicks though. White Chicks. Like I knocked out. And then last night I watched The Descent. Amazing. Scariest movie I've watched The Descent. Amazing. Scariest movie I've ever seen and will ever see. I literally am fucking traumatized by those critters.

I hate that movie so much. But it's so good. It scares the fuck out of me. When she's swimming in the pool of blood. Girl Interrupted. You are so Girl Interrupted right now. You're actually Girl Interrupted coded as fuck. We had to put the Scary girl interrupted girl in the girl

interrupted movie wait i can't do that scream i wish i could do that scream you know what i'm talking like the lime lip scream the lime lip scream scary maze scream yeah yeah wait if i if i see it like a hero y'all need fucking soundboard i know i want one so bad dude actually like we need to switch Gibby and Kai for like a day for one episode dude I don't want fucking Kai in the yeah that one

okay wait can y'all plug your ears real quick I can't even hear that well honestly play it one more time it's about to go. Oh, that was good. I kind of matched the pitch. Oh, fuck.

Wait. That's pretty good. Oh, what the fuck? I see you, see you. I see you, see you, see you every time. What else was it? You did something the other day that pissed me off, but it was like a sound. Oh, we did karaoke.

We didn't even talk about karaoke. I literally look pretty. Like, hello. Wow. I look pretty. All right. Well, my songs of the week are It Ain't Me, Babe, Joan Baize. Joan Didion.

Our House, Graham Nash and Joni Mitchell cover, Milky by Pram, and 99 Miles from LA, which is a song Josiah told me about. That's true. Thank you. You're welcome. Um, my song of the week is can't escape by a little yarn um what the fuck is that again and again i'm gone okay again and again and again and again i fuck with that and if anybody in this goddamn world is gonna be mean to that girl i will hunt

you down and i'll go buy a fucking gun i don't care okay i know i will i literally will because every episode that you're on the podcast you threaten buying a gun i'll buy a fucking gun. I don't care. Okay. No, I will. I literally will. I feel like every episode that you're on the podcast, you threaten buying a gun. I'll buy the fucking gun. I don't care. Okay. My songs. I'm still listening to Opus. I don't listen to music anymore.

I went too fucking deep and like burned all my music brain cells. You burned all the dopamine that there was to get from it i don't like music anymore right now um so listen to what is it good day by opus three good day by um have a good day i love that but y'all we almost forgot what drew's psyop corner welcome to drew's psyop corner i smelled my co-worker's breath, Inya and Josiah, and damn near put my two weeks notice in for the podcast.

Oh. Okay, that's not even your co-worker, but fine. Crow worker. This is when, do you remember when you had braces? Yeah. I nutted in Inya's braces and now my kids are behind bars.

Hashtag free my kids did you really have braces? yeah my teeth were fucked up I had braces and I was so good about it and the first fucking tour date I went to on press play I lost my retainer and I got the gap again

you need the gap literally you are minding the gap what does that mean? I don't know what that means. It could mean something like political or something. Sorry, I don't know. I think it's like mind the wage gap. I believe in the wage gap, though.

Yeah, we got to keep. Okay. Got to keep some levels, too. There's a level of tuition. I'm part of the 1%. Like, I make $300 million a year. I don't think I could live without that. So, I'm tired of bitches complaining. Like, oh, like, I only make $60,000, $70,000, $80,000 a year i don't think i could live without that so i'm tired of bitches complaining like

oh like i only make 60 70 80 000 a year okay i make 300 million like and i'm barely surviving like we both have it rough out here drew owns the crypto arena sorry fuck up yeah you're not supposed to say that publicly so now we have to believe that if your pussy stinks and your dick is little y'all belong together, fish and shrimp basket. That's a good one. Okay. Crop tops with no titties. Bitch, that's a bib.

Crop tops with no titties. Bitch, that's a bib. Boo. I didn't kill that one. If your pussy's wet and you're ugly, congratulations, you're a water bug. What? What the hell did Josiah say?

Can you do one about Tuna Box? Leave my Tuna Box alone. Have y'all been talking about Tuna Box on the phone? No, we have not mentioned Tuna Box at all. Wait, just mention it once. And I've adopted it. Tuna Box. Welcome to Tuna Box now. I think you can infer a lot.

They used to call me Chancla, like sandal. Bitch, I never called you. We called you chancleta. Yeah, I never called you that. It doesn't make it better. Josh called you that. I never fucking called you that. And I didn't think it was funny.

Like, I honestly. No, it was mainly me. Josh used to call me chancleta all the fucking time. And then they knew it would piss me off. So I feel like y'all would say it to piss me off when you wanted to bother me. I never uttered those words. And now it's tuna box. Yeah they keep calling me i've adopted tuna box um we you used to get so mad when we asked you to say in your face like

damn yeah and on one christmas like because josh made it up he was like and his catchphrase is nanya damn business but she's like i've never said that. But on Christmas one year, I was at the bottom. I was the only one who heard at the bottom of the stairs. She came in and I was like, what did it? I think I had just come back from Christmas. Was that the top of the stairs? Yeah, I think we had just come back from Christmas.

And you said, Nenya damn business. And it was a Christmas miracle! It really was. Okay, y'all have heard of pre-nut or post-nut clarity, right? Y'all have heard of pre-nut or post-nut clarity, right? Y'all have heard of post-nut clarity? Yeah. Well, I'm introducing something called pre-nut insanity.

Oh. Where it's like me like literally going insane until I get my nut off. Okay, wow. This shit I do though before I get my. Okay, that's now. Hey. All right, well, thank you guys so much for watching this is so disgusting

it is really disgusting and your butt ew get away thank you guys for watching and listening thank you so much see you next week thank you for having me on. No, I'm not doing this anymore.

Go listen to Billie and Jean. We literally didn't do the one thing I wanted to do. Okay, you don't have to be here for this, but I literally need to do, what's it called? I need to do this so bad. What is it called? Smelling Salt? Just make it be goodbye. Can you unzip my dress? All right, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do this so bad. What is it called? Smelling salt? Just make a beaker buy.

Yeah. All right. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Fuck. I don't want to do it. Just do it. Are you okay?

No. Would you imagine if this podcast was just me? No, guys, I'm not even kidding. I think I caused a brain aneurysm. I literally can't see. And you don't have health insurance, so good luck. That cleared my sinus so well, though. Does it feel like you just got a bunch of chlorine in your...

I can breathe for the first time. Like a chlorine cleanse? I feel like I can breathe for the first time. Okay, well well this has been This is Drew And this is Enya Wait you do look like Enya Like you actually look like her right now

Enya in 2018 be like I'm Billy And I'm Gene I don't know what you're gonna do for an outro Imagine us on this podcast dude i know should we start a podcast together we should do like one spin-off and we like start it under like the emergency intercom like universe emergency intercom owns billion gene yeah but um and yeah you want to say bye goodbye san francisco we love you! Happy Halloween!

Spooky Halloween Spectacular Special! Goodbye! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Outro Music