Emergency Intercom - Have such a dope soul that people crave your vibes

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Drew and enya discuss putting Shane Dawson in jail, mr beast’s flop era and drews hatred for koalas Visit https://BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month. Go to https://Zocdoc. com/INTERCOM and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. okay audio rolling audio rolling ew motherfuckers who mess up their job be like guys the camera's on this time guys gonna start kicking the camera halfway through okay so to start fucking shaking the goddamn ground we sit on.

I did. I kicked the camera last episode. Oh, girl, we know. She was fucking shuffling and jigging around. I was all shoved into the corner. Yeah, it's just like, oh, you're wearing the shirt. Yeah. That's awesome.

Yeah, I'm wearing a shirt and you got me. Yeah, not only got my maid. Created. With my bare hands. You made this? Yes, I drew it. When your reaction to it, I was like, why the fuck didn't he react properly? Because she drew that before the party.

I did not know that. Yeah, I handed that shirt. I thought it was like a Hollywood Gifts thing. No. Okay, now this means even more. That's why I was like, oh, I'm getting into graphic design. You bitches better be sheltering yourselves and preparing because I'm just coming. I'm sorry, and I really love it.

And I'm also sorry about the last episode with my huge dick hitting the truck. Now, welcome to this episode of My Jander. We haven't even said that. His tiny penis was inside of him, and his balls went up into his chest, and it hurt so bad. Oh, and that's why he was moving around a bunch. His legs started seizing. No, my huge cock hit the thing. Okay, you can't say that his leg started seizing. No, my huge cock hit the thing.

Okay, you can't say that in the first three minutes. Okay. Me acting like, I don't think we've had a video in the green

for monetization for the past eight months. I don't even know what I'm trying to hold. They have come after us in a very real way on YouTube. They do not fuck with us.

But yeah, welcome back to American Cinercom we're back to the basics just india and i and kai um today i want to talk about i got a bunch of notes okay just wanted to say that before I forgot. Well, then you start. Okay. Have such a dope soul that people crave your vibe. Where were we that someone said that? And you literally go, I need to write that. We were at Barbie's and Ben said it. And I was like, oh, I'm saying that on the podcast.

Because that was one of the most important things ever said online in like in general like it really shifted the way i think about everything forever that is true i do agree with that have such a dope soul like okay it's like it's giving like there's layers to it it's like have such a dope soul like dope heroin like have such a dope soul craving heroin like there's levels to this minus be such an over stimulating evil diabolical mean evil sick and twisted person that's literally everybody who watches this podcast they're commenting it right they're like yes yes that's what i was saying i think she's a bitch like oh, oh my God, you read my mind. Guys, Inya is a sweetheart. It's all a character, but sometimes it's real. But like, it's mostly a character.

No, I am such an overstimulating soul that people fear my vibe. Yeah. That's what I am. Fear your energy. I'm like so, I was- What did you say yesterday? You said something like people are like a- Oh, it was you talking about how you have negative riz.

You were like, I have negative fucking riz. Well, Inya does have negative riz. We'll get into that later. I over talk crazy. Maybe. Maybe we'll get into it. But you were saying something about people being like afraid of your energy, but I don't remember what it was.

So I don't know. I'm trying to remember. I think it was because I went to that party and I was like interacting with people and when I was interacting I was like oh I think I might scare people a little bit but not because I'm like again I don't think I'm like no one meets me and is like this fucking aggressive crazy person yeah I just will like start talking and going in and I don't like I have a hard time filtering my humor like my sense of humor yeah it's the same across the board for everybody yeah i give like the same to everybody so for people who are maybe more introverted i think my leg is shaking in like the craziest way well it's because

my overstimulating vibe is shaking your soul it's also because like most people see like pretty girl and think oh like she's gonna be, which is the way it should be. Like girl shouldn't speak. Yeah, I will agree. And then they hear you speak and they're like, oh, whoa. I think that was it. And also like I just think I over talk in every situation. I over talk.

I snitch on myself. I am just too truthful. Yeah, it's true. I'm just too me. And like when people see me, they just love me. I just have like a natural charisma that people are just like attracted to. And they just want to be close to me and be a part of my world and my universe. And I just don't let everybody in.

And that's okay. Yeah, when people see you, they're like, thank God I never got a nose hair trimmer because my body is doing what it's supposed to do with these nose hairs. And it's blocking out the bacteria and stench coming from your body. Okay, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of the vibe. No's not the vibe i don't stink so so you gotcha me when we were leaving yesterday you literally go well tavey and matt are just gonna have to like deal with my stench or was it when we were going to their crib i went to their house and i like for some fucking reason i was like odorous that day like a stinky boy and i like showered i couldn't it was just it was just my body overproducing like sweat or some shit i

don't fucking know what the hell is going on and i reeked and i went to their house and i was just like fuck it like they're homies like they can smell me i don't give a fuck i didn't smell you all night though so i don't think you suck we also were eating big mac tacos so i don't know if it was like it's like the room to smell people. But back to people seeing me in public, they're afraid for different reasons because I give like the killer energy when I'm out. Yeah, you do. I'm like a really dark soul. Also because you are silent when we're out, so like you're the silent killer.

Yeah, but no, like get a drink of me and I'm like the life of the party. You have not had a drink for like two years. Yeah, that's true. No, guys, I don't think y'all really understand. I have been taking drinking, not drinking very seriously since this video came out. I mean, we could drive him to the hospital. No, I'm not going to the hospital. We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost $4,000.

The thing is, Mason last night was literally throwing up like four times in a row. We did take him to the hospital. So I'm like, why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him. He's way worse than Mason. This is like Project X. Yeah, I know. What if this is like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was really traumatic for me and like i turned green like you can't continue after that yeah i think there is a certain point i mean like i feel like also with age everyone in our group is just like dude i had two drinks and then i felt like shit um but yeah do you want to get into our beige flags because we kind of went we almost went over our red flags last episode but like we didn't really have any prepared so like i couldn't think off top of my head when you asked me for beige flags the things i was thinking of i was like oh no this is fully a red flag it's like not a i know i just wrote them down anyways because i was like what the fuck does even beige flag mean it's like i know it's like a mix between red and green which

you get beige when you mix those two colors together i bet you didn't know that um color theory hello i studied it in college i went to risd and brown it was a really tough schedule when i was in college you went to risd yeah r-i-s-i-d it's like this really like it's like this art program at brown university uh it's really hard actually it's really difficult actually because like can you get to the damn point like fuck um i don't even know what the fuck i was just damn leave me the fuck alone hello like i'm alive and well i'm not kidding like i looked at my phone to look at my list and then i heard you were still talking about like color theory and i couldn't believe it um okay so my beige flags are...

This is so stupid. I don't want to do this. I decided after I told you, write yours down because I want to do them. Because it's all things everybody already knows about me, except for this one. I sleep with my phone at full volume because in the middle of the night,

if I get a call, it means someone is dying and I need to answer it. Oh. So all night long, my notifications are going off because I'm very popular i will say you do get you use that damn phone like you do use that phone people communicate with no you communicate with people drew is like an 18 group chats like talking to people like keeping up with people i'm not kidding like it would be like popular it is a shocker when i have a notification when i

wake up and i'm not even saying that because I'm like, I'm so alone, whatever. It's genuinely just like, I actually don't like texting people and talking to people over the phone. And it bothers me. And I put everybody on, like, mute who texts me. What the fuck is that? I don't like using my phone. No, it's a really big contention point between India and I. Because I'll text her when she's away.

And then it will literally be like 36 texts before she gets back to me. And it's really sad, actually. Sometimes I'm like, damn. It's just like if I'm opening my phone, there's so many other things to stimulate myself with. I don't want to talk. This is my enrichment time. This is my no real no real people on this thing no it was so lit we came back from something and i was like oh like thank god i get to come home and be on my fucking phone and be on my like tummy time like enrichment we went to like this spot where you can't use your

phone and we were there for four hours and then when we got home it was literally so fun yeah we went to this restaurant where they lock your phone up like because yeah we can't talk about it we like literally can't talk about it it was really crazy we saw a bunch of famous people twerking it was really demonic and jerking off okay what's your base flag i did one you do one um mine is this is so annoying but i unironically need my coffee and that's a beige flag because for like some people who cares but then when you get to traveling with me and staying with me for long periods of time now i'm better at it like now i've moved my life around where like i travel with like a little coffee maker thing if i know which is psychotic and not normal but i took care of it so it's not a flag

anymore but it used to be like before like if we were traveling and you would have to take us to a coffee shop before we started our day at all and we would spend an hour and a half finding coffee for india and wait that's a documentary finding coffee um wait no what is it finding something i don't know but finding alaska maybe that's what I'm thinking of yeah the John Green coffee yeah yeah like finding coffee would not be good okay well oh it's looking for Alaska and I'm gonna kill myself okay I'll be waiting wow he ate with this cover no he literally did uh but someone gets a blow job in that in that book is that real yeah i don't remember that i i'm pretty sure it's real because i remember reading it in like seventh grade and i

was like because i was assigned it and i and all of a sudden somebody's like getting their dick sucked and i was like okay mirakami um i open red bulls and use them as air fresheners that was another one it's just all shit that i already said before um i say that's a beige flag because i like to have my space smelling good but that's weird behavior what was repeat it again red bull air freshener yeah that is really fucking weird and that's probably just a red flag yeah that's fully a red flag you're like trying to fucking start mold growth in your partner's car or something like that's a red flag that's not what i'm trying to do um cool well mine my other one is that i'm a germaphobe which also like

doesn't seem like it would be a problem but i do find it a problem in my relationships because it always gets to the like point where i don't like morning breath and i don't want to kiss somebody before they brush their teeth like i just find it really disgusting and i'm like why would i do that um and that's always a big thing it's like oh my god like i don't say anything about your morning breath and i'm like okay bitch like you can if you want like it's fucking gross like i don't want to fucking kiss you if you don't brush your teeth it's nasty like you slept with your mouth open all night i have a cat you had feces air in your fucking mouth like don't no i'm not doing that but you have feces air in your mouth yeah but i'm not going over to kiss

whoever i'm like fucking on like i don't do that i'm like i'm gonna brush my teeth and then and then i'll do that but yeah it's it's things like that it doesn't annoy any partner I ever have. Like, my little... My little things that I'm, like... I'm, like, pretty... I'm, like, no. You're dirty to me. Like, I find you very dirty. You need to shower. Which is really annoying.

I'm sure it's so annoying to hear from a partner. Like, being told as, like, a grown-ass adult, like, are you going to shower? Yeah. Like, that is really annoying. It is pretty probably. Which, like, that's why it's a beige flag that turned into a red flag because you just don't think anything of it at first because you're like

oh my god this girl's so awesome and then you're like oh my god this girl's actually fucking insane and it's keeping track of when i clean myself yeah all right all right why is scarlet fever still a thing what is that is that scarlet fever like the like rash the thing that the girl wore on her chest because she was a slag a total fucking slag oh my god or it's a fucking slag no okay i don't know what scarlet fever is by definition but it literally sounds like something that only is supposed to happen in a sofia coppola movie is it just like toxic blood syndrome like septic blood it's a really small amount of people get it scarlet fever is the most common in children 5 to 15 years old a bacteria illness that develops in some

people who have strep throat red rash on face neck trunk the fuck is a trunk arms and legs so you just like get covered in a rash and it's usually from having a sore throat you end up getting scarlet fever but they need to change the fucking name of that because literally why do we still have something that's scarlet fever scarlet fever is so cockhead like like cockhead that's not how you pronounce it's cockhead like the fashion catholicism cockhead cock c-o-c-k-e-t-t-e no no yeah that's not how it's spelled. Okay, then spell it. You're just projecting the kind of things you enjoy onto, like, a word. That I enjoy cock? Hello? Look at me.

Hello? Hello? Yeah, also, we need to put Shane Dawson in court. Oh, yeah. He ruined an entire generation with those goddamn conspiracy videos. He was the genesis of people thinking, believing in conspiracy theories were okay.

It's his fault. Like, Shane Dawson really freaks me out. Like, I got so high and we were watching his video, like, his conspiracy video, and I don't know, like, something about him, like, he doesn't, he is my conspiracy. And I don't know, like something about him. Like he doesn't, he is my conspiracy.

My conspiracy theory is that he is not real. That's my conspiracy. That he's not a real person. And like, also, why is he in that same ass shirt? Like, I need to know about the shirt. My conspiracy theory is like that he re-bought the shirt. And then ripped it. Yeah, I know.

Like, no, that's my thing is is like did he repurchase that shirt or did he save that shirt from those videos he definitely saved it a hundred percent and he was like this is memorabilia like i was creating the best content oh my god he probably felt like a god when he took it out of the vault he was like taking it out of like a like a stinky moth smelling bin of clothing and it's like oh i wish he filmed that because you know he would have edited it crazy probably did the craziest thing about shane dawson is like when he was releasing those like long form video series in the beginning like it was a it was an event like it was like oh my god we're about to sit down and watch this for an hour and then we're gonna get

another one in the next day and like blah blah blah it was huge like you would sit down with your homies and watch it and now looking back on all those videos we were so excited to watch like they're really bizarre like it's really really interesting actually i think we were watching it and still kind of poking fun at it like the whole him going into that damn chucky cheese for that fucking pizza will never not be the funniest thing on the planet but it was like a moment and it was so crazy like how big of a moment it was because when you look at the views on those videos there they were like mr beast size yeah they're massive um but now it's just like okay like i guess also after everything happened it was just like oh right right and now we have mr beast which is

mr beast in his flop era like kind of he's a little bit he's only getting like 100 million views instead of 300 million which is literally so pathetic youtube in general is in their flop era right now it's really crazy um we're the only thing keeping youtube alive wait mr beast did ages one to a hundred fight for five hundred thousand dollars so we literally have to watch this when did this come out nine days ago oh what the fuck why do i know about five million so yeah we yeah views oh my fucking god i cannot believe that that's really crazy that's like the most watched thing ever, period. Like, ever. Yeah, like, what? Wait, what is... Let's see what his most popular video is.

Also, I hate that... Oh! Oh, my God. Stop. What is it? What is it? What is it? The Squid Game video has half a billion views.

That's so... Squid Game. Dude, that video of Josiah. Oh, wait, literally Squid Game. I was just about to say that. like help where are you help i'm in the squid game i think i'm in the squid game i'm trapped in the squid game dude that is literally so fucking funny just i had mentioned squid game to me the other day he was like what if i came home like do you know how crazy it'd be if i came home like to y'all's house one day him saying home

if i came home and like i look at your nightstand and i just saw the card wow and i was like okay what would i like leave for like three weeks at a time you go perform in squid game yeah i would win you're you're really bad with money you have to like get your debt back okay wow now you're just like being like like calling me out um well i think i would win squid game no you wouldn't yes i would i would as lana has said fuck my way up to the top oh wait that is a good method i guess wait there was a character who tried to do that and it literally didn't work out everybody was like oh you're a slut you remember that yeah she's trying to like fuck on like the i mean just

spoiler alert guys i know the show just came out that's in general man you know what i mean like it's freaking crazy um well i have a note about um koalas and i'm about to go on like a very very long and real tangent about koalas like i don't know if y'all know anything about them but they are fucking monsters they're evil disgusting like nasty fucking vile creatures like they're literally like a bear like they're really cute when you look at them but the second they open their mouths like oh my god they're scary as fuck just like look up a picture of a koala like a look up scary i've never seen a koala with its mouth open yeah for good reason because the photographers are like oh we can't post this this is ruining the illusion yeah really bizarre and horrifying um this one's a really scary yeah that's it that's the one that i saw and i was like oh wow like oh but he might be like melted

by fires though that first one no he's just wet oh okay just making sure. Making sure we're not about to share a picture of a burnt animal. Ew. The mouth open is crazy. That's what people say about me, though. Yeah, for real. But in a good way. I'm like, damn, when she opens her mouth, it's crazy. Kabbalahs are nasty AF. um koalas are fucking disgusting nasty af okay so first they are smooth brained which like

normally brains are like of intelligent creatures and mammals and animals in general like their brains are um creased and wavy to create like a more surface area for like i think it's neurons to form or some shit like that just like more surface area to make your brain like better yeah and that's red flag number one red flag number two wait red flag is that they have smooth brains yes because i low-key might have a brain that's like over time smoothing out. No, no, you're good. No, I think so. But they're so fucking stupid and smooth brain that if you put them in a room full of the only... Which is another thing I'll touch on.

The only thing they can eat, which is fucking eucalyptus, which is so fucking stupid and toxic and dumb. Like, why the fuck they... But if you put them in a room... I'm like actually getting angry they're so stupid but if you put them in a room full of eucalyptus picked off the branch just like viable food for them they will not eat it because their smooth dumb fucking brains will not recognize that that's edible to them and they will starve to death in a room full of food two the only thing they can eat that's me don't put me in a room full of meat loaf yeah for real you die because i would just let myself die out and eat meatloaf

but the next thing is um their teeth like you know like rodent like eucalyptus is like very toxic like they're not supposed to be eating it so they have like iron clad stomachs that like barely digest it and when they're babies this is the eating it. So they have like ironclad stomachs that like barely fucking digest it. And when they're fucking babies, this is the craziest thing you'll ever hear. When they're babies. How the fuck do you know all this shit? Why do you know all this shit? I learn things.

This is what you use your iPhone for. It's like insane. I learn. But babies, they get milk, but the milk is only from eucalyptus juice, basically. Like so it's really not very nutritious at all. But when they're weaning off of milk to eucalyptus, because it's the only fucking thing they can eat, the moms, or since the babies can't digest it

because it's really fibrous and toxic, the only way they can get nutrition is from literally sucking diarrhea juice out of their mother's ass and it's enough nutrition for them just to get by not joking it's the craziest fucking thing ever and yeah i could go i could go way longer but i've already talked about it for like four minutes and i'm done but like they're awful awful creatures and they all have syphilis no like how did you like was there like a tiktok series of someone talking about them or did you, like, was there, like, a TikTok series of someone talking about them? Yeah. Or did you, okay. Because I was like, did you, like, seek this information out? After the fact, yeah.

So instead of learning the one fact, you were like, I need more. I need to know everything. Well, yeah, I think they're, like, kind of gross. But also every singer on the planet who's gone to Australia takes a picture with a koala. Yeah, and they all get syphilis. I need to start my singing career so that, like, for some reason there's just a picture of picture with a koala so like yeah and they all get syphilis i need to start my singing career so that like for some reason there's just a picture of me with a koala like is there actually a picture of every famous person with a koala because that's like what i think

uh i'd imagine so if you go to imagine when you get off like the airplane they're just there and they're like all right time for your fucking picture bitch like get ready you get syphilis immediately from them um well i've decided that the most annoying part about living isn't dying like dying isn't the annoying part it's that when i die i don't get to keep up with like gossip like things will keep going jokes will keep going without me and evolving and like yeah and evolving and also it genuinely is annoying me because i was just thinking about my funeral the other night and i was like damn it is actually annoying i won't be there like it is the one party about me i won't be at yeah because let's get real like funerals are fucking parties that's what i that's what i they're celebrations

of life hello yeah they're literally parties we went um or sorry what the fuck we need to when i die world tour my body across stuff me full of fucking sand and wood chips and travel me around the world i always said that that's like my one dying wish is i need a world tour of my body like you know like i'm just gonna be honest with you that's not gonna happen because that's it's gonna take a lot of money and work and i don't want to use my bank account oh true true yeah okay that's what i don't want my money going to anybody but my world tour funeral fund well what if you have kids i want to be like princess whatever or not princess what's her fucking name the queen of england like and everybody well no one's gonna be on the streets

babe oh bitches will be losing their minds i don't know that necessarily in trophs of people will people be like running out into the street like falling to their knees being like true phillips clip this clip this when i die watch the masses will the drudeism girlies will pop out because the truth has spread in like a very real and diabolical way like it's it's really like actually kind of getting dangerous and out of hand at this point you know what else is annoying i know when i die some fucking cunt bitch is gonna be like good i fucking hate her oh that's so annoying and you know what's annoying is like i would do i would probably make the same fucking joke so like i can't even be mad like i literally can't be mad but it's not a joke for them it's a real thing they're like there's real hatred there because they're fucking losers no literally losers no life no bitches no

money no swag the swag that they got is all on their bed in a pile of dirty fucking clothes because they're depressed um oh um no but it is like coming from a real place because like our iphones have just turned people into imagery so then it's like easy for them to be like this girl like good she's dead but yeah i just know that when i die like it's not going to be like there will not be a parade inside my city like it's not going to be that vibe like when i die it's not going to be like as dramatic as i want it to be and the ripples aren't going to go that far it's just gonna be like damn life truly is suffering oh my god wait did you just life is suffering well well i mean like that's like a really harsh take on it though so i like because i know i haven't heard anyone say that so i'm just like

dude no one said that yeah hello right here now the buddha said that right right oh also if anybody wants to donate me some of their discharge because i just got a really nice dab rib she's been doing discharge so i'm just gonna start doing like discharge dabs um but mine aren't like viscous enough right now i think i gotta fuck with my ph a little bit and then my discharge put it in hot cheeto up there don't eat it yeah just let it like kind of do you think a hot cheeto over time would just disintegrate in a hole like that like yeah it's acidic in there it's not balanced it's not alkaline at all ew like imagine pulling it out and it's just kind of like a stringy like left corn chip kai walked into the house today and was like ew it fucking stinks like weed in here we were like

we just i was just about to say it's because of all the discharge stabs and this has been doing yeah i like can't stop and then sometimes when it's not weed it's literally just no it's just discharge yeah it's like weird it's weird that it gives off the same scent as weed which like i wouldn't have ever expected but i'm no chemist so i can't really explain it just to smell like we never ever talked about the girl who got into a car crash listening to emergency intercom yeah this girl was listening to emergency intercom and we probably screamed in the fucking mic or some shit and she swerved and got into a big ass car crash she's alive and fine she's a couple bruises but cars oh wait no oh wait wait i thought you were talking about the girl who a deer ran into her car because this

isn't the first time somebody got into a car accident there really is like a trend line forming like every six months someone gets in a car crash listening to us so you just don't listen to us in the car i think honestly also when people like here's my new thing so i know a lot of people over time they just like start to get bored of podcasts and they maybe just start to get bored of us and i understand it and i don't take it offense but think about me and stop being fucking selfish you're being a fucking prick just put it on in the background yeah put me on double speed and go to sleep with your iphone charging next to your head yeah and let it like do the thing that pregnant ladies do with their babies where they just like play mozart around the baby do that with emergency intercom but to yourself yeah just my you don't even have to listen you don't even have to just like think about me and like

what i have going on in my life everything i've fucking given to you it's crazy wait i'm really trying to find this to me now um and then on top of that a girl made emergency intercom themed nails oh the nails are really so fucking swag i need to get my nails done so bad they're disgusting i have like screenshots of them somewhere of the nails or the car of the car and the nails so i have like her profile that we can look up i bet if you look up emergency okay it's songs now banned from my car and why and it was emergency intercom and she said rear ended someone while putting volume on blast oh it was a intercom. And she said, rear-ended someone while putting volume on blast. Oh, true.

It was a cute car, too. She got a gorgeous little bruise on her eye from it, though. Yeah, it's actually really pretty. I'm assuming she hit the steering wheel, which really sucks. But it's like gorgeous hues, gorgeous hues. Yeah, that's like a pretty fucking color. Okay, I have this game that I want to play.

It's reading grinder messages, and I'm the blue line, and you're the yellow line. One to top. Is your profile image your mugshot? Yes, it is. I was acquitted. Acquitted of? Resist, delay, obstruct.

It's a matter of public record. Out of courtesy, why use that as your profile image good lighting and clear skin that's the fucking killer because all of those answers were like chat gbt yep okay next one hey good friday morning okay i'm the killer in this one jesus that's a lot question why tops don't use exclamation points probably not even you're probably not even a top don't use exclamation point again bottoms only want brooding guys not happy or excited learn how this works uh did you smoke meth in my bathroom question mark no i don't smoke meth i smoked crack in

your bathroom that's not better oh yeah oh then an ugly ass fucking koala and then i saved a picture you know the whole trend right now where it's like you leaked blah blah blah like and it's like the math test or something and then i leaked it's like a slideshow first slides you leaked blah, blah, blah, and it's like the math test or something. And then I leaked, it's like a slideshow. First slide, you leaked. Second slide is the math test. Third slide is I leaked. Fourth slide is like how to make cocaine.

Or like how they stole a bunch of movies. Dude, your timeline is fucking insane. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, I have an ingredient and recipe for how to make cocaine can you make that i guess like someone's got to be making it it doesn't just like pop up exactly wow i mean it is just i mean honestly like gasoline and coca leaves what happened coca leaves it's weird that you have to use gas gasoline yeah they like concentrate it through gas or something calcium oxide baking soda

hydrochloric acid and i'm not gonna say anything else yeah i'm like don't give off like this video is fucking disgusting also the marina song playing that's actually really impressive it's actually so we have to throw that on the screen but the marina song playing in the background is literally so fucking funny yeah it's iconic so we have to throw that on the screen but the marina song playing in the background is literally so fucking funny yeah it's iconic af as fuck i think we should talk about you having negative riz well okay i don't actually have negative riz and also like we don't have to get into specifics we really don't have to get into specifics but actually there's not much to say it's just negative

riz and i have a lot of riz okay our riz is probably the exact fucking same except i talk and you don't yeah i just don't need to use my riz i talk too much and you like barely talk i remember when people like when the youngins were talking about riz for the first time i was like what the fuck is riz like it took me so long to fully understand what riz was and i was like this is not something that's gonna fucking catch on i was like riz jizz it's too like too close it's not but it's like fully a thing and it reminds me of when i was first learning what a hashtag was when i was like seven and like my sister and madeline were explaining to me what a hashtag was for like literally hours and I really like genuinely could not comprehend this uh like could not comprehend what it was at all and the

only reason I learned what it was was like years later when my brain was like a little more developed like I figured like finally put the pieces together but like same thing when I was first learning about Riz I was like what the fuck is this and i don't understand like negative riz bro has no riz like that gives no context because you just kind of have to like figure it out over time i just understood those kind of things immediately because i'm really good at understanding and listening and like get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich we are in the fucking kitchen oh that actually brings me to my next topic. So as women, we need to stop learning because all the blood is rushing to our brains and leaving our ovaries.

And we have to remember that at the end of it, you need to have a baby. So stop learning. Stop ingesting knowledge because you're using all that blood for your brain, but you might pass away and die because none of the blood is pumping to your ovaries. Same for men, kind of, because you get boners, all the blood. People with too big of wieners, like too long of boners, sometimes pass out

because the blood that needed to give you an erection is so much that they literally faint and they can't get erections. I unironically think that like big wiener culture is so fucking disgusting and I genuinely that like big wiener culture is so fucking disgusting and i genuinely find like big wieners disgusting like you are a fucking grotesque animal you need to be put down you are a danger to society no that is uncomfortable and unnecessary actually i genuinely feel bad for your sex partners like no unnecessary cut it cut it

um which is actually fucked up as i'm saying that i'm realizing that those people do exist and they are probably watching this but like that's just how i feel like it's nasty like we watched that cut video where they were like talking about how big like everyone's wiener was it was like guess the size of like everybody's like wiener and that dude had like a humongous fucking gong and it was disgusting like did you say they should be like put to death yeah i'm watching you this is my joke um yeah so i guess i should be put to death i just fucking died i didn't say put to death i said cut it like you did say put to death before i did yeah and then you said cut it because i was waiting for you to say it again because i was like oh

it's going to be even better if i don't have to ask it but um yeah yeah that's the vibe uh I have a giant fucking wing I think I have to go to Abbey Road soon oh really yeah I got I got a yellow submarine I know I or yeah I'm going to the Abbey Road to get on the yellow submarine oh wow um Inya was listening to the beat or In to get on the yellow submarine. Oh, wow. Inya was listening to the beat. Or Inya was listening to Paul George yesterday. And fucking what? I thought that motherfucker's name.

George Harrison? He just said two first names. That's a basketball player, Paul George. Okay, who the fuck is naming their kid Paul George? A lit ass person. Who is naming their kid Paul after the year 1995? No, for real. If your name is Paul listening to this, it's not. I guarantee if you were born with the name Paul,

you do not go by Paul until you're 48 years old. What is Paul short for? I mean, what do you say? Philanthropy. Philanthropy, yeah. Paul, I don't know. What the fuck was I saying? Oh, and he was listening to George Harrison.

And why am I saying this? I don't know. Half the time I speak, I'm literally just like, what the fuck am I saying? Like, I'm literally trying to fill the void. Like, there's nothing for me to say anymore. Yeah, I always just say too much. saying like i'm literally trying to fill the void like there's nothing for me to say and yeah i always just say too much and then when the answers don't come directly back i'm like shocked and then i'm remembering that i said 18 things to one person and their brain probably works the way

a normal brain works where you can't start three separate conversations with a single person and have them answer everyone do you know what i'm talking about that's also why i don't like texting is because like i talk too much for texting so i i'm one of those people who sends like 18 texts all being different thoughts and then i'm embarrassed and offended when the person doesn't reply to every single thought and i'm like wow i guess the things i say mean nothing about you. I do that where I text like a wall of text, which is such a bad habit because everything I say in those 18 texts could just be condensed down into one text. But I like am so excited to get these thoughts across that I like send them separately. And I'm guaranteed that's a relatable experience for someone out there.

But it's a really bad habit. I've been sending audio messages on Instagram and via text. It's so easy to send audio messages. Yeah, but then like, do you ever feel like you just send too long of one? Because I end an audio message and I'm looking down and it's 45 seconds. And I said what I needed to say in the first five seconds, but then just kept holding my finger down because I like hearing my own voice. Yep.

So then i just talk and what's fucked up is i won't even listen back to an audio message before i send it because i'm like oh that's too much to listen to and that's me sending it so i know when people receive it they're like bitch fuck you i don't want to hear your audio message also someone was fighting on the street outside of our window last night or outside of my window and i literally freaked out because we finally we i tell this story all the fucking time about the home invasion. And like, I don't know if we ever really told the story

about like the kids screaming on the street and then those sus people. But like we retold all those stories recently. And of course that happened the night that we said that. We're talking about it. I don't know if I ever. Because if you hear no evil, speak no evil, you will you will see no evil yeah i don't think people really understand how fucking traumatized i was from all of those events like i literally could not sleep alone in the house

or in my bedroom period like if anya was home i would have to go sleep in her bed and it was like that for literally months. It was so scary. And any sound I heard- It was so nice, though, because I got to know your body in a way that I maybe wouldn't have ever. So in a way, I'm thankful for the intruder for letting me touch you. The body exploring part was up close. What?

That's gross. Me when I'm talking about you. Because y'all have never spent the whole night together. Because you get used and abused and tossed out the front door. But I get the whole night. I get 12 hours. He lets me chill for like. For like 30 minutes to clean.

He's like, hey, pick up all your shit. And like, you don't even let him shower, do you? Yeah. He's like, go home and shower. Max has like three minutes. However long a SZA song is how long I get after. And then he kicks me out. I the weekend and then you have to get out before it's over or the attack the weekend is a scary scary vibe a really really scary vibe i thought you meant the

song i was like i guess it is scary being like a side piece oh i literally just put those two pieces together the weekend wait why is she talking about the weekend in that no she doesn't mean the artist she means like the literal like the end of the week like the weekend like you get nine to five i get like the weekend like two days yeah um the weekend is a really awful vibe and i don't really want to go into it any more than I have to, but really just like I saw some shit today that actually scarred me for life and made me very uncomfortable. Yeah.

I think a lot of America can say that. Yeah. It was a very rancid, weird vibe. Wait, but why do you get 9 to 5 and I get the weekend? You get 9 to five on the weekend no it's on the weekend like hello we the try guy drama oh yeah okay so this thing happened so this thing happened recently no it happened like two days ago, didn't it? Yes.

Yes, it happened two days ago. No, enough time has passed that we can like... We don't like talking about pop culture things because I just don't like doing that. It's like I don't know that I care to like give in my public opinion. But enough time has passed that this is literally hilarious to me. Yeah, like have you... given my public opinion, but enough time has passed that this is literally hilarious to me. Like, yeah. Like,

have you, the world's reaction to a man cheating was the craziest overreaction I've ever seen. One, like, and I don't give a fuck if this is an unpopular opinion because I literally don't care. Um, because aren't they still together? Like we should have listened to the person that was cheated on.

If she's okay, like, we're okay. I wonder. I actually don't know. I don't know how it ended. But them firing him because of that was crazy. Actually, no, wait. I'm thinking about it a little bit more. Oh, my God.

He's literally. Well, it's because he had sex with an employee. That part is very crazy. That makes sense. I don't know i just thought like the whole thing was hilarious oh my god he literally hasn't posted since then imagine your last post being admitting that you cheated bitch and never coming back literally like hold me upside down above fucking piranhas to get me to say that shit and i'd still be like

dunk me i don't go fuck like dunk me my hair dunk challenge hey squid games challenge but yeah that shit um dude the internet is literally just so funny like it's just funny yeah the hysteria events like the hysteria over a man cheating on his wife which is literally something that happens all the fucking time your parents cheated on each other especially like the biggest thing i've said this before like yeah your parents probably have cheated on each other um but the i've said this before the biggest thing is when somebody is too keen on being like i oh i love my partner like i love my fucking wife i love my wife i love my wife you're cheating you're literally cheating because why the fuck are you saying that all the time like you don't have to prove it to me like

go like get her flowers or something and shut the fuck up like because if he wanted to he would exactly if he wanted to he would genuinely though do not settle if he wanted to he would no but like genuinely if he wanted to he would and that like shit resonates with me heavily if he wanted to yeah okay that sounds if she wanted to he would you're still not yeah you're still not like getting there all the way it's like if he wanted to she would i mean if you wanted to you would because also like you're supposed to do stuff for her girls aren't supposed to do stuff for her. Girls aren't supposed to do stuff for boys in their relationship.

Yeah. I should just be tweeted like a queen without trying. Tweeted like a little queen. I'm literally a queen. That's fucked up. That came out by accident, but I knew you would make fun of me. So I, like, tried to keep it going. Wait, that wasn't. You said tweeted?

Yeah, I said tweeted. Oh, my God. Whatever. Tweet god tweeted like a queen i thought you were joking you should have just let me rock with it because i would have no i just like i'm not a fucking liar like you so i don't just like fake yeah i don't give a fuck lying is literally a blast estate sales aren't real also estate sales are actually really fucked up like okay two things one they're not real because i only see them on tiktok i think estate sales are a figment of imagination that was created for tiktok and exactly you're weird why the fuck are you stalking dead people's houses two imagine an estate sale happening at your fucking house and some random 20 year old going into your house and buying

something for a quarter of your perceived value of it and being like oh my god i just got a steal and it's because this bitch is dead like that's fucked up don't let anybody have my shit when i die put that shit in a storage unit and like pay it off until i have no more fucking money and then in like eight million years when the fucking defenders of like the fucking apple pro goggles like go and find that shit because they have to just start burning everything in real life what the hell are you vr world then you can have my shit oh vr world yeah when everybody is like the defenders of like the world that's still here and they're like no we need to preserve this but they're trying to burn everything let them burn my shit yeah i think it

is a kind of a parasitic vibe but like also like sometimes people just don't want to look at their dead partners or families like artifacts. I mean, also, I say all that, but I will be finding in a state sale. Yeah, no, all of those videos, that one thing, the one and only thing they taught me about them was that I need to go. Like, I want to go. Also, I need a Frank Lloyd Wright home, like, so fucking bad. I just gave them, just gave them the sauce. That's a song.

How has only five minutes passed since I looked at that thing? It feels like it's been like 10 years. This is crazy fucking boots. Well, we're doing a 45-minute episode. We're back to it, especially because y'all got a two-hour episode last week and didn't give a fuck about it i didn't even see one fucking comment also i think next episode i'll be high as fuck so stay tuned for that yeah we want to do a high episode i'm considering this getting high with you guys. But I really think it would be scary for y'all. Y'all would see a side of me that I don't know y'all are prepared to see

because of what weed does to me. It's not chill. Really not chill. You think, oh, that was not chill. You chill you falling that would have not been chill i don't know why that is so funny to you i know i like i feel bad bringing it up because i i do think you hate it but it's literally i don't hate it i hate what you think the reason why it's because like that's just the way me and josiah perceive it that's what makes it so funny because like we know you well enough that we were it's never seen you react like that it's because that's just the way me and Josiah perceive it. That's what makes it so funny because like we know you well enough that we've never seen you react like that.

It's like this clip from Field Trip. If you know Field Trip, you're lit. Oh, if you know, you know. Yeah, if you know, you know. But from Field Trip, it's like a series me, Drew, and Josie did. And in the farm episode, Drew was like doing pickup footage for like just like the self to camp they are stealing that ad since sorry oh yeah i mean what it's like probably twenty dollars a month girl those videos have views shut the fuck up um but no i think we own that account anyway um actually

no we should like run after them for that money um oh uh what was i saying anyway drew goes to film himself opens the door falls out and then like it's like whoa that would not have been chill and then reenacted it was like whoa i tried to like dude it was the weirdest thing i've ever seen you do and it's literally so funny funny. And then when I was really high the other night, I thought of it. I think it just doesn't translate on camera. Like, when I watch it, it just isn't as funny as you and Josiah think it is. But it's because y'all got to experience it. Because we saw it firsthand.

It's literally, like, it felt like because you were recording, you were like, oh, how do I make this, like, a bit? But, like, you can't make it a bit. That's not it. Like, you literally actually almost fell the fuck out of that trailer and then the guy who ran the farm came like a second later in the midst of you like recollecting your thoughts and you got so scared of like him knocking at the door also what's so funny is then knowing that i left to go stay in that hotel room and you and josiah seriously were freaking the fuck out about staying on the property yeah it was scary as fuck in the middle of nowhere yeah it couldn't be me i would not have been

scared but you know did me and josiah end up sleeping there did we go to a hotel as well we came to the hotel i think so yeah we ended up going to the hotel because you were terrified yeah it was bullshit bro it was fucking horseshit they were so pissed about that they were like bro like just stay on the farms. Save us fucking money. Whoa, that would not have been chill. But that's the tea of it all. Save those notes for next week.

Yeah, I know. Let's get into some media. I watched the new Spider-Man movie. And dare I say, no, not even dare I say, it it is a masterpiece and i know i say that about every single movie i see and i talk about on here but that shit was sponsored posts on your pages because like you're being so real when you say that no it's they should just get the bang for their buck i guess you do it for free though so they don't have to pay you no one has to pay drew to say that the movie was the best movie ever because he simply will just say exactly it was literally so fucking good it was so fun and exciting and fresh and new and it was just a

whole it was just a whole vibe that i craved i crave your vibe but yeah that fucking movie go go watch it like yesterday go watch it like yesterday and then for some music um 1b 634 36969 c31 BDFB21B 4992227 and it goes on a little bit longer by told oh you're being real wow um

that's the only song y'all get and listen to it in a very dark senseless room and like just kind of vibe out it's a really good vibe well mine is el alma que te trajo by arca and safety trance cockiness by rihanna still one of the best songs ever made my cock cronet oh uh wait cock cat suck my cock cat lick my persuasion i'm making love by treaty which i think i said last week and then still all things must pass by george harrison i've just been listening to that album every time i get in the car guys i have good news i'm not gonna smoke

cigarettes anymore that was a lie on the 14th of this month i'm stopping vaping for good it's for my mom's birthday i love you mother and i want to be alive and not have lung cancer so i'm doing this for you also we have merch coming out soon yes oh my Oh, my God. That's really soon. It's, like, in less than a month. Yeah, we're... We didn't figure that shit out. All right. Well, thank you guys so much for watching.

I hope you have a blessed day. Blessed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done as earth as it is on heaven.